1
00:00:01,419 --> 00:00:04,047
[knocking on door]
2
00:00:07,217 --> 00:00:09,844
[knocking continues]
3
00:00:13,557 --> 00:00:16,309
‐ Oh, my God, Jules,
I'm so happy you were up.
4
00:00:16,309 --> 00:00:17,727
‐ I wasn't.
5
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:21,940
‐ I was at this insane baby shower
in the hills that's right near here.
6
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:24,442
‐ You were at a baby shower
that ended at 5:00 in the morning?
7
00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:26,695
‐ Oh, no. It's still going. I just left.
8
00:00:26,695 --> 00:00:28,238
You know, I can't party like I used to.
9
00:00:28,238 --> 00:00:30,699
But I wanted to ask you a favor
10
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:32,659
and see if you wanted to
come out with me tomorrow night.
11
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:36,746
‐ So, tonight for me,
'cause you're still on yesterday, right?
12
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:38,873
Oh, that's salsa.
‐ Yeah, I know.
13
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:42,544
My mom's in town, so I was hoping
you'd come and get a drink with us.
14
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:45,088
‐ Me, really? I mean, yeah. I'd love that.
15
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,131
‐ Okay, great.
16
00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:47,674
And she can get a little wild,
17
00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:51,136
so it totally helps balance the energy
if I bring someone more like...
18
00:00:51,136 --> 00:00:52,679
you know, regular.
19
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:55,557
‐ And by regular you mean, like...
‐ Like... boring.
20
00:00:55,557 --> 00:00:57,267
‐ You think I'm boring?
21
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:59,352
‐ Yes, Jules, but as a compliment.
22
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:00,645
[scoffs]
23
00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:02,480
‐ I don't really think you can
say a negative word,
24
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,732
and then call it a compliment.
25
00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:05,525
‐ You have no idea.
26
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:08,778
The last time my mom was in town,
we got matching tattoos.
27
00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,280
What'd you do last time
your parents were here?
28
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‐ It was basically like that.
I mean, uh,
29
00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:13,700
we went to Home Depot,
30
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,994
but then they didn't have
the kind of wall anchors I needed,
31
00:01:15,994 --> 00:01:17,871
so we went to a different Home Depot,
32
00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:20,290
and then, uh, oh, we got pancakes.
That's exciting.
33
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:21,625
‐ Mm. With, like, chocolate chips?
34
00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:24,211
‐ Nah, I just really just like mine plain.
35
00:01:24,211 --> 00:01:25,462
Oh, my God. I am boring.
36
00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:28,173
‐ Jules, don't spiral. Tomorrow night,
you're hanging out with my mom.
37
00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:30,425
And right now,
I'm hanging out with your cat.
38
00:01:30,425 --> 00:01:32,052
‐ Okay.
39
00:01:32,052 --> 00:01:33,720
You get some rest.
40
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,305
I'm just gonna...
41
00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:38,391
take care of a bunch of boring stuff
in the living room
42
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that I have to deal with.
43
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:43,021
[canned audience laughter]
44
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Remember, if anyone asks,
45
00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:53,740
I'm sick.
46
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‐ Tell Paris I killed the story...
‐ [canned audience applause]
47
00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,788
and tell Milan we'll see
the proofs by Tuesday.
48
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,082
No, those aren't cities.
49
00:02:02,082 --> 00:02:04,084
Those are Instagram models.
50
00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:06,753
Jules, I'm not letting you
miss girls' night out.
51
00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:09,214
Take this. It'll make you feel better.
52
00:02:09,214 --> 00:02:12,300
‐ [whimpers]
Oh, my God. What was that?
53
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,927
‐ Wheat grass. Now take this.
54
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‐ [sips, then chokes]
That was wheat grass?
55
00:02:17,931 --> 00:02:19,558
‐ Nope. That was tequila.
56
00:02:19,558 --> 00:02:21,309
[canned audience laughter]
57
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‐ [pants] I promise I'm sick, Madison.
Feel my forehead.
58
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:27,983
‐ Oh, man. You're burning up.
59
00:02:27,983 --> 00:02:29,859
And greasy.
60
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‐ Did someone say, "Burning Man"?
‐ [canned audience applause]
61
00:02:33,989 --> 00:02:36,616
‐ We can't go. Jules is sick.
‐ What?
62
00:02:36,616 --> 00:02:38,577
But I brought my best friend "Molly."
63
00:02:38,577 --> 00:02:40,620
She's a real "pill,"
if you know what I mean.
64
00:02:43,373 --> 00:02:46,251
‐ Hey, girl, hey. I let myself in.
‐ [canned audience laughter]
65
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,588
‐ Izzy, did you climb through
my hedges again?
66
00:02:49,588 --> 00:02:52,591
‐ A lady never tells.
‐ [canned audience applause]
67
00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:56,011
‐ Jules, stop changing the subject.
We're talking about you bailing.
68
00:02:56,011 --> 00:02:59,264
‐ You look totally fine
on Izzy's Insta‐stories today at work.
69
00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:02,309
‐ Izzy, did you post a photo of me
without my permission again?
70
00:03:02,309 --> 00:03:05,145
‐ A lady never tells.
71
00:03:05,145 --> 00:03:07,564
‐ I really am sick.
72
00:03:07,564 --> 00:03:09,816
‐ Jules, you're coming. Now de‐Snuggie.
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‐ [canned audience laughter]
74
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‐ How many of those do you have on?
75
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‐ A lady never‐‐
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Hey!
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[Cat Lady laughing]
78
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‐ Oh, God, I love this show.
79
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JULES: Come on, I'm not actually
the boring one in real life.
80
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:32,756
Right?
81
00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:36,593
♪
82
00:03:42,057 --> 00:03:43,850
‐ So you're saying the promo is not ready.
83
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:46,728
‐ It's not that it's not ready.
There are just a few concerns.
84
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‐ Challenges. Challenges open the soul.
85
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Concerns cause wrinkles.
‐ Right.
86
00:03:50,023 --> 00:03:53,443
Well, there are just a few
challenges that I'm concerned about.
87
00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:55,904
Chall‐‐ Challenged about?
Challenged by.
88
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[sighs]
CELESTE: Good morning.
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I see all of you,
90
00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:02,285
and you all feel seen.
91
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,745
Woman with the new bangs,
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00:04:03,745 --> 00:04:04,829
let's screen the promo.
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WOMAN: [over TV] Woom is introducing
an exciting new product
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00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:11,962
to transform your health.
95
00:04:11,962 --> 00:04:16,299
This collagen supplement contains
only the purest ingredients
96
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,719
to give you the most beautiful,
glowing skin.
97
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:23,348
It's the most superior product
on the market.
98
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:25,392
So, raise your hands
99
00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:28,979
if you're ready to feel like
the best in the world.
100
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White Powder.
101
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,857
♪ empowering music playing ♪
102
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‐ First of all, it looks very fresh,
and fun. But...
103
00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:47,497
and granted, I'm a little more sensitive
and in tune with these things,
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00:04:47,497 --> 00:04:50,709
I did catch a slight obstacle
with the logo.
105
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:54,588
‐ I would say I was also cognizant
of the obstacle.
106
00:04:54,588 --> 00:04:57,299
‐ I would like to echo that sentiment.
‐ Me, too.
107
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Not, like hashtag me too,
just, like, also me.
108
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‐ Ladies, what a rad opportunity.
109
00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:07,475
These are the kinds of discussions
that Woom was built to incubate.
110
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Let's open a dialogue. Alison.
111
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:14,274
‐ We could take this to a focus group
and get some feedback.
112
00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:16,985
‐ This is why I love bad ideas.
113
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,945
They really keep the conversation moving.
114
00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:22,657
‐ We could form an internal task force
to look for answers.
115
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:23,909
‐ No.
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00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:27,329
You'll form an internal task force
to look for questions.
117
00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:29,456
‐ Why would we‐‐
‐ Question everything.
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Who are we as women?
Who are we as humans?
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00:05:32,459 --> 00:05:35,170
What are we trying to say?
What are we trying to sell?
120
00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:37,631
Will this product revolutionize wellness?
121
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:40,300
Will Celeste be upset
if the product launch is delayed?
122
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,594
Will someone get fired because of this?
123
00:05:42,594 --> 00:05:45,263
‐ Will someone get fired because of this?
124
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‐ Exactly. Very cool conversation.
125
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,268
It felt massively organic.
126
00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:54,272
Other Alison B.,
I'll let you take the lead on this.
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‐ Me? I mean,
128
00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:59,486
don't you think Alison S.
would be better for this one?
129
00:05:59,486 --> 00:06:00,403
‐ Why?
130
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:02,864
‐ No reason.
131
00:06:02,864 --> 00:06:06,243
I am actually the perfect person
to handle this.
132
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I'll get right on it.
133
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Thank you so much.
134
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:10,664
‐ Thank you.
135
00:06:10,664 --> 00:06:12,457
You're welcome.
136
00:06:12,457 --> 00:06:14,125
Namaste.
137
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:17,295
TERESA:
Tips up, bitches.
138
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:19,172
[indistinct laughter, chattering]
139
00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:21,091
JULES: Oh.
‐ [all coughing]
140
00:06:21,091 --> 00:06:22,842
I love drinking!
141
00:06:22,842 --> 00:06:24,678
And I love winter sports.
142
00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,847
I love everything that's happening
to me right now.
143
00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:30,684
You were not lying.
Your mom is wild and fun.
144
00:06:30,684 --> 00:06:33,562
But it's so great,
because I am also wild and fun,
145
00:06:33,562 --> 00:06:36,064
and we have that in common.
‐ Hey, hey, hey.
146
00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:39,442
What did I tell you girls?
No "M" word tonight.
147
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,320
Call me Teri.
‐ Round three, on the ski.
148
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,282
‐ Whoo, you know it, snow pants.
‐ [slaps]
149
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:47,701
‐ Oh, okay. You know what, Teri?
150
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,828
Uh, I don't think Jules
wants another shot.
151
00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:52,038
Right, Jules?
‐ That's right. I want another.
152
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:55,417
‐ Ha! Tips up, bitches!
153
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,043
JULES:
Oh, boy.
154
00:06:58,253 --> 00:07:01,756
Oh. Oh, hell, yeah. You're my bitch!
155
00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:04,342
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I just called your mom a bitch.
156
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,261
Oh, God, I just called your Teri a mom.
157
00:07:06,261 --> 00:07:09,639
‐ Be right back. I need to rearrange
my sticky boobs before the next round.
158
00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:12,684
‐ Uh, there's gonna be a next round. Yay!
‐ Hey, hey. Jules. Jules.
159
00:07:12,684 --> 00:07:15,103
I brought you here to slow the pace
of the night down, okay?
160
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:17,564
Think more bunny hill, less black diamond.
161
00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:19,608
‐ I have never been
to the Olympics, Stella.
162
00:07:19,608 --> 00:07:21,151
I have literally no idea
what you're talking about.
163
00:07:21,151 --> 00:07:23,236
‐ Every time Teri comes to visit me,
164
00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:26,031
it‐‐ it's like it's my fault
that she had me so young.
165
00:07:26,031 --> 00:07:27,324
So now I have to be the one
166
00:07:27,324 --> 00:07:29,910
to help her relive her wild youth
that she never had.
167
00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:32,454
Yeah, that's great.
My little half‐brothers get a real mom,
168
00:07:32,454 --> 00:07:34,039
and I get a drinking buddy.
169
00:07:34,039 --> 00:07:37,709
‐ Ooh, I get a very weird rash
on my upper back when it's hot outside.
170
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:41,922
‐ So, Julesy, spill the tea.
171
00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:44,132
Who are you dating? Ooh, sorry.
172
00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:46,384
Who are you hooking up with?
‐ Okay.
173
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:48,303
Jules doesn't wanna tell you
about her love life, Mom.
174
00:07:48,303 --> 00:07:50,722
‐ Come on, I need to live vicariously
through you girls.
175
00:07:50,722 --> 00:07:53,350
I need to know every detail of your life.
176
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:57,020
‐ Okay. Well, I have something
kind of big going on.
177
00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:59,522
Um, I applied to business school.
178
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,608
‐ Ah, school!
179
00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:03,360
Ah, that's great, baby.
180
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:07,405
But don't you know
that all I ever think about is school?
181
00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:10,408
School lunches and school plays, and‐‐
182
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:11,952
What the hell are
a bunch of 9‐year‐olds
183
00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:14,537
doing Kinky Boots for, anyway?
JULES: Wait.
184
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,957
Did you just say
you applied for business school?
185
00:08:16,957 --> 00:08:20,085
‐ Yeah. I took the GRE a few months ago,
186
00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:21,670
and actually did well.
187
00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:23,296
‐ Do you know what they say to you
at Payless
188
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:26,925
when you ask them for thigh‐high
patent leather boots for a fourth‐grader?
189
00:08:26,925 --> 00:08:30,011
‐ Stella! I am so proud of you.
‐ Thanks.
190
00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:32,097
‐ I should do something for you.
191
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:34,474
We should do another shot for you.
192
00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:37,435
TERESA: Whoo!
Now that's the kind of talk I like.
193
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:40,605
‐ Well, what can I say, Teri?
We are cut from the same cloth.
194
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:42,899
Fetch me goggle boy!
195
00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:45,026
Okay. Yes.
196
00:08:45,026 --> 00:08:47,612
‐ Whoo! All right.
197
00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:50,657
Mm. Mm. Mm.
198
00:08:50,657 --> 00:08:52,284
[thuds]
199
00:08:52,284 --> 00:08:54,160
‐ Aah.
‐ Aah.
200
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,538
IZZY:
Thank you so much for coming.
201
00:08:56,538 --> 00:08:58,999
We'd say our problem
is at threat level orange,
202
00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:01,042
but orange clashes with
the blush tones in the office,
203
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,669
so we've agreed to just say it's very bad.
204
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:04,087
‐ You were right to call me, Izzy.
‐ Oh.
205
00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:06,715
Quick but vital reminder
to call me Alison here.
206
00:09:06,715 --> 00:09:10,135
‐ Oh. Okay. Alison, as in,
"Alison's emotionally unstable"?
207
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,344
‐ That's perfect. Yes.
208
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:14,055
‐ First, let's address the name.
209
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:18,226
Having the right name
is important to any successful brand.
210
00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,228
‐ Yes. [laughs]
211
00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:23,189
Yes, That's important and good
for all of us to hear.
212
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:25,817
Everyone, not just me.
213
00:09:25,817 --> 00:09:28,737
MADISON: The logo's gonna create
what we call a "barrier to purchase."
214
00:09:28,737 --> 00:09:31,156
Mainly because it's incredibly racist.
215
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:34,367
So, how do we turn that into a sellable?
216
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:37,913
We keep the white powder,
and add other, colorful nutrients.
217
00:09:37,913 --> 00:09:40,999
Green chlorophyll, orange turmeric,
yellow bee pollen.
218
00:09:40,999 --> 00:09:43,168
Redo the packaging, and there it is.
219
00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:45,837
"Powder Dynamicz."
220
00:09:47,214 --> 00:09:50,258
[all clapping]
221
00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:51,676
‐ Thank you.
222
00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:55,055
For bringing your dope goddess energy
into this space.
223
00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:58,516
‐ It is such a pleasure meeting you.
224
00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:01,770
I have listened to your TED talk
on career mantras at least 10 times.
225
00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:03,939
‐ I love that I inspired you.
226
00:10:03,939 --> 00:10:05,690
You inspired me.
‐ Oh.
227
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,984
‐ So, in a way, you can say
I inspired myself.
228
00:10:07,984 --> 00:10:10,570
Thank you for reminding me
to be mindful of that.
229
00:10:14,783 --> 00:10:17,202
‐ Madison, that was brilliant.
230
00:10:17,202 --> 00:10:19,746
‐ You have to let us buy you a drink
tomorrow night to say thank you.
231
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:21,456
‐ Sure. Sounds fun.
232
00:10:21,456 --> 00:10:23,708
‐ Oh, thank God. PR nightmare averted.
233
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,585
‐ PR nightmare not averted.
234
00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,087
PR nightmare standing in front of me.
235
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:29,714
Look, I want to say this
in the nicest way possible,
236
00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:31,716
but I think your personal brand
is a disaster.
237
00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:34,761
‐ What? Wh‐‐ What's my personal brand?
238
00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:38,932
‐ Sort of like desperation meets
aspiring camp counselor meets
239
00:10:38,932 --> 00:10:40,850
you're using a fake name at work.
240
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,811
‐ Yeah.
‐ Look, you're Jules' friend,
241
00:10:42,811 --> 00:10:44,187
which means you're gonna be around now.
242
00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:46,690
If that's the case, I feel like
it's my professional responsibility
243
00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:47,524
to help you figure out...
244
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:51,319
all of this.
Like, tomorrow. I'll text you.
245
00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:54,990
‐ Okay. Cool. Sounds good.
I'll see you then.
246
00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:56,575
‐ [thuds]
‐ Ow.
247
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,577
Ow. I'm okay.
248
00:11:00,078 --> 00:11:04,416
‐ [groans] I feel like my spirit
is trapped inside by own dead body
249
00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:07,669
and some unfinished business
is keeping me from crossing over.
250
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:09,379
‐ Okay, Jules, it's 2019.
251
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:11,131
We're not supposed to make
Ghost jokes anymore.
252
00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:14,593
‐ Last night was a total
and complete failure.
253
00:11:14,593 --> 00:11:15,802
‐ Are you kidding?
254
00:11:15,802 --> 00:11:18,305
Last night, you passed out
25 minutes into it.
255
00:11:18,305 --> 00:11:19,890
I got take you home,
256
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:22,726
instead of escorting Teri to that bar
with the mechanical horse.
257
00:11:22,726 --> 00:11:23,894
It was perfect.
258
00:11:23,894 --> 00:11:25,562
‐ I guess I just don't see what's perfect
259
00:11:25,562 --> 00:11:28,607
about me not being able to keep up
with someone who drives a minivan.
260
00:11:28,607 --> 00:11:31,693
And since when are you excited
to end a night early, anyway?
261
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:33,862
‐ I don't know. I mean, I get that
everyone expects me to be
262
00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:36,156
the fun friend all the time.
But, you know,
263
00:11:36,156 --> 00:11:38,575
sometimes I could use a night off.
Is that so much to ask?
264
00:11:38,575 --> 00:11:40,452
‐ No. It's not.
265
00:11:40,452 --> 00:11:42,704
And you deserve a friend
who can give you that
266
00:11:42,704 --> 00:11:44,706
without rendering herself unconscious.
267
00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:46,875
My boring‐ness is driving people away.
268
00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:48,084
It's probably why I got dumped,
269
00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:49,836
and now it's stopping me
from being a good friend.
270
00:11:49,836 --> 00:11:53,089
‐ Okay, just 'cause you are boring
doesn't make you a bad friend.
271
00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,300
I mean, without you,
I'd have no one to recommend a podiatrist.
272
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,510
‐ Dr. Nuzzbaum's the best, isn't he?
‐ Oh, my gosh.
273
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,221
These insoles changed my whole posture.
274
00:11:59,221 --> 00:12:00,972
‐ I knew they would.
275
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:02,599
MADISON: Hey.
IZZY: Hey, guys.
276
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:04,226
Madison invited me to come.
277
00:12:04,226 --> 00:12:06,436
She said we're gonna fix
all the things that are wrong with me,
278
00:12:06,436 --> 00:12:08,605
and I'm told it's a very long list.
279
00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:12,234
‐ I think Stella's tired of always
having to be the party,
280
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,360
and I want to help.
281
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,903
I want to do something for her.
282
00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,488
‐ She said she needed new headphones.
283
00:12:16,488 --> 00:12:18,657
‐ No, I mean, like, actually do something.
284
00:12:18,657 --> 00:12:20,825
You guys have been so there for me
during my breakup,
285
00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:22,953
and I just want to do the same.
286
00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:25,830
I want to plan a really fun night out
for Stella.
287
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:29,417
The kind of night that'll make her go,
"Whoa. That was a really fun night."
288
00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:32,587
‐ That's really sweet, Jules.
But you can't "out‐Stella" Stella.
289
00:12:32,587 --> 00:12:33,421
It's not your brand.
290
00:12:33,421 --> 00:12:35,590
I mean, your brand
is recommending a good podiatrist.
291
00:12:35,590 --> 00:12:37,425
‐ Nuzzbaum does good work.
292
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,928
Should I be withholding that information
from the world?
293
00:12:39,928 --> 00:12:41,763
‐ This is exactly
what I'm trying to teach Izzy.
294
00:12:41,763 --> 00:12:44,432
She's all over the place,
pretending to be someone she's not.
295
00:12:44,432 --> 00:12:46,601
‐ Oh, so you're trying to "Madison" Izzy?
296
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:47,936
‐ Oh, excuse me?
297
00:12:47,936 --> 00:12:51,189
‐ You said I'm trying to "Stella" Stella,
but you're trying to "Madison" Izzy.
298
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:53,149
‐ [scoffs]
‐ Identifying her flaws,
299
00:12:53,149 --> 00:12:54,484
putting your spin on it,
300
00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:57,779
managing her image.
You're giving her the full Madison.
301
00:12:57,779 --> 00:13:01,074
‐ Okay, fine. I am. But between that,
and kicking your ass on this hike,
302
00:13:01,074 --> 00:13:04,327
I'm gonna need to "Jules" myself later.
‐ What is that?
303
00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:05,870
‐ When you change out of
one set of pajamas,
304
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,872
directly into another set of pajamas.
305
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:10,208
‐ Not funny!
306
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:12,919
‐ Hey, don't die before you get up here.
307
00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:14,421
I want us to all take a picture.
308
00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:17,299
‐ We're in a fight. All of us.
I'm mad at all of you.
309
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:21,720
Plan a fun night out for
the most fun girl on the planet.
310
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,179
How hard could that be?
311
00:13:23,179 --> 00:13:25,056
I can do this. I'm fun.
312
00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:28,268
I'm so fun I'm gonna Google "fun."
313
00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:29,811
Find out where it happens.
314
00:13:29,811 --> 00:13:32,689
"Best places to have fun."
315
00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:34,816
"Best places to have funerals."
316
00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:36,985
WOMAN: [over computer] It's never
too late to plan for life's longest nap.
317
00:13:36,985 --> 00:13:38,695
JULES:
You don't know me, Internet.
318
00:13:38,695 --> 00:13:41,239
"Things to do for fun."
319
00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:42,449
Fungus?
320
00:13:42,449 --> 00:13:43,700
‐ MAN: [over computer]
Dr. Nuzzbaum.
321
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,536
Most highly rated podiatrist
in greater Los Angeles
322
00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:47,787
JULES:
Goddamn it, Nuzzbaum.
323
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:50,165
"Popular nightclubs."
324
00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:53,084
‐ So the club is pretty simple,
325
00:13:53,084 --> 00:13:55,212
if you've got a webcam
and you've got needles.
326
00:13:55,212 --> 00:13:56,755
JULES: Come on!
"Underground parties."
327
00:13:56,755 --> 00:13:58,882
"Under eye circles"? Rude.
328
00:13:58,882 --> 00:14:02,010
MAN 2 [over computer]: Are you
still watching The Great British Bake Off?
329
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:03,720
Press play to continue.
330
00:14:05,597 --> 00:14:07,599
JULES:
Fine. But just the rest of this episode,
331
00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:09,142
then I keep searching.
332
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,396
‐ First things first.
333
00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:15,398
We can't build a brand
off a fake identity.
334
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:16,983
You pretended to be Alison at work,
335
00:14:16,983 --> 00:14:18,777
because you're not confident
in who you really are.
336
00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:20,487
‐ Izzy. Yes, that's correct.
337
00:14:20,487 --> 00:14:24,032
‐ Okay. Well, I'm sure "Izzy"
has selling points.
338
00:14:24,032 --> 00:14:25,575
We just have to clarify them.
339
00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:26,910
How would you sell yourself to me?
340
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:29,621
‐ For free. You can totally have me.
341
00:14:29,621 --> 00:14:31,748
I'll pay you to take me.
342
00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:33,124
‐ Wrong.
‐ On Etsy?
343
00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:34,292
‐ Wrong.
‐ eBay.
344
00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,794
‐ Wrong.
‐ It's Etsy, isn't it?
345
00:14:35,794 --> 00:14:36,795
‐ I, I meant,
346
00:14:36,795 --> 00:14:39,798
how would you sell yourself
as a person? Like, marketing.
347
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:43,426
‐ Well, for marketing at Woom,
I usually make a pitch presentation.
348
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:48,848
[indistinct chatter]
349
00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,183
‐ So, what do you think?
350
00:14:50,183 --> 00:14:52,811
‐ When you said you wanted
to surprise me with plans tonight,
351
00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:55,564
I kind of assumed, like, a chill night in,
352
00:14:55,564 --> 00:14:57,482
where we play non‐strip Uno or something.
353
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,067
‐ They just call that "Uno."
354
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,403
‐ I mean, I even wore my comfy clothes.
355
00:15:01,403 --> 00:15:03,697
‐ This is how you dress
when you're not trying?
356
00:15:03,697 --> 00:15:06,491
‐ Yeah.
‐ Okay. Nope.
357
00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,034
Follow me.
358
00:15:09,369 --> 00:15:11,788
Hi. Wiley. Party of two.
359
00:15:11,788 --> 00:15:14,416
Um, online you only had
a 4:30 p. m. reservation,
360
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:17,210
but I called and you said
you might be able to accommodate me.
361
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,545
‐ We're fully committed.
362
00:15:18,545 --> 00:15:21,214
‐ Hey. It's, uh, Stella. Fabian's friend.
363
00:15:21,214 --> 00:15:23,550
HOSTESS:
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Right this way.
364
00:15:27,012 --> 00:15:28,555
‐ Thank you.
365
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:30,932
‐ I can't believe you know someone here.
366
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:32,893
This place has been open for four days.
367
00:15:32,893 --> 00:15:35,562
‐ I went to the soft opening.
But I didn't see it from out here.
368
00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:38,481
We were in the back,
in some small private kitchen
369
00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:40,984
doing this dumb,
curated tasting menu thing
370
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:42,569
with this stupid,
world‐renowned head chef.
371
00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:46,489
‐ Ugh. Oh, hi.
Um, could you tell us the specials?
372
00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:47,449
‐ No.
373
00:15:57,834 --> 00:15:59,836
Desalinated snake venom.
374
00:16:01,838 --> 00:16:05,342
‐ If this isn't your vibe,
we can totally do couch, takeout,
375
00:16:05,342 --> 00:16:07,010
Nutella from the jar. Seriously.
376
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,845
‐ No. We're not doing that.
377
00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:09,846
We're being fun.
‐ Okay.
378
00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:13,308
‐ Now. Ahem. I feel a little weird
about having these, but...
379
00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:15,352
Here.
380
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:18,271
‐ Sour Patch Kids?
381
00:16:18,271 --> 00:16:20,273
‐ What? No. These are...
382
00:16:20,273 --> 00:16:21,650
weed gummies.
383
00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:24,236
‐ Honey, these are Sour Patch Kids.
‐ That's impossible.
384
00:16:24,236 --> 00:16:25,946
Jeremy's cousin left them at our place
385
00:16:25,946 --> 00:16:27,781
when he was here
visiting colleges last year.
386
00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:30,951
I found them in a sketchy plastic baggie
with a note that said,
387
00:16:30,951 --> 00:16:32,786
"Enjoy your trip."
388
00:16:33,245 --> 00:16:37,749
‐ I'm guessing because his mom
packed him snacks for his trip.
389
00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:40,502
Because she's a mom,
and not a drug dealer.
390
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:50,595
Taste like a Sour Patch Kid?
391
00:16:51,721 --> 00:16:53,515
‐ That doesn't prove anything.
392
00:16:58,353 --> 00:17:00,438
‐ Husband goals.
393
00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:02,107
Ryan Gosling.
394
00:17:02,357 --> 00:17:03,400
‐ Overdone.
395
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,986
‐ Style icon.
396
00:17:05,986 --> 00:17:08,613
Kendall Jenner.
‐ Cliche.
397
00:17:08,613 --> 00:17:11,449
‐ Favorite season.
‐ Do not say fall.
398
00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:12,701
[sighing] Okay.
399
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:14,828
Don't take this the wrong way,
400
00:17:14,828 --> 00:17:16,788
but you are the most basic bitch
I've ever seen,
401
00:17:16,788 --> 00:17:18,665
and I've been to the Museum of Ice Cream.
402
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:21,585
But this is all so generic.
Is this stuff really even you?
403
00:17:21,585 --> 00:17:25,088
‐ I don't know anymore, okay?
404
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,464
Oh, God.
405
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:29,426
My entire life, I've just wanted to be
someone people liked,
406
00:17:29,426 --> 00:17:32,345
but I don't think that's possible for me.
407
00:17:32,345 --> 00:17:35,181
‐ Look, I don't think you're basic.
408
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:38,184
You are fully bananas,
but you are not basic.
409
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:41,354
And even though the amount you try
is seriously problematic most of the time,
410
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,024
it at least shows that you care.
411
00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:47,694
You care about Jules,
you care about having girlfriends.
412
00:17:47,694 --> 00:17:49,738
And that is definitely not basic.
413
00:17:49,738 --> 00:17:51,865
‐ Favorite moment?
414
00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:52,908
This.
415
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:54,993
‐ Great. You can start being Izzy again.
416
00:17:54,993 --> 00:17:56,369
‐ What do I tell everyone at work?
417
00:17:56,369 --> 00:17:59,581
I can't just reintroduce myself.
They'll have me committed.
418
00:17:59,581 --> 00:18:01,333
Or they'll un‐follow me.
419
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:03,460
‐ You mean a relaunch.
420
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,212
This I can do. Come on.
421
00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:07,547
[boat horn honks]
422
00:18:07,547 --> 00:18:10,133
‐ Okay. I realize the night's
been off to a rough start,
423
00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:12,469
but I just read about this brand‐new
nautical‐themed bar
424
00:18:12,469 --> 00:18:14,054
that's literally on this docked boat,
425
00:18:14,054 --> 00:18:15,430
and it's supposed to be really cool.
426
00:18:15,430 --> 00:18:17,224
Please tell me you haven't already been.
427
00:18:17,224 --> 00:18:19,976
‐ No. And actually this seems really dope.
428
00:18:19,976 --> 00:18:22,395
‐ Great. First round's on me.
‐ [Stella chuckles]
429
00:18:22,395 --> 00:18:24,397
♪ rock music playing ♪
430
00:18:24,397 --> 00:18:26,650
‐ Oh.
‐ Seems pretty cool.
431
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:28,360
Good vibes.
432
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,947
And the guy‐to‐lady ratio is favorable.
433
00:18:33,949 --> 00:18:35,909
Ahoy, there, sirs.
434
00:18:35,909 --> 00:18:38,912
Could you point us
in the direction of the bar?
435
00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:44,125
‐ All right. Let's get that guy
to buy us a drink. [chuckles]
436
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:46,753
‐ Hey.
437
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:48,436
[fishermen speaking Finnish]
438
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:08,775
‐ Ooh. So, I think that Sour Patch Kid
is starting to hit me.
439
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:10,735
It feels like the bar is moving.
440
00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:12,862
‐ That's because the bar is moving.
441
00:19:19,494 --> 00:19:21,913
JULES:
Okay. We're here.
442
00:19:21,913 --> 00:19:23,957
Where are we going?
443
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,627
[groans softly]
444
00:19:35,093 --> 00:19:36,887
Alaska?
445
00:19:36,887 --> 00:19:39,639
Like, Alaska, Alaska?
446
00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:42,475
‐ I wonder how you say "Alaska"
in Finnish?
447
00:19:42,475 --> 00:19:43,685
‐ Alaska.
448
00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:46,688
‐ Okay. I'm not freaking out.
I could do this.
449
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:49,107
I could be cool and fun
and not care about anything.
450
00:19:49,107 --> 00:19:51,568
You do it all the time,
and everybody loves you.
451
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:54,863
‐ Yeah, right. I'm Stella.
I don't care about anything.
452
00:19:54,863 --> 00:19:56,656
‐ No, that's‐‐
Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
453
00:19:56,656 --> 00:19:58,241
STELLA:
No, you got it absolutely right.
454
00:19:58,241 --> 00:20:00,493
I mean, why would I care about
planning for my future
455
00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:03,455
or going to business school
when I'm a fun, party girl?
456
00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:06,750
‐ Stella, please, this is more about me
than it was about you, I swear!
457
00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:12,172
‐ Attention on deck!
This is your captain speaking.
458
00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,216
And shit's about to get weird.
459
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:17,344
‐ [glass shattering]
‐ [fishermen groaning]
460
00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:22,682
[fishermen cheering]
461
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:25,310
[fisherman whistles]
462
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:27,938
[clanking]
463
00:20:31,441 --> 00:20:33,568
‐ Okay. You got your story down?
464
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:35,946
‐ When this kid from my high school
came out of the closet,
465
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:38,198
he did it in this dramatic
musical number,
466
00:20:38,198 --> 00:20:40,659
and people seemed to react really well,
467
00:20:40,659 --> 00:20:42,994
so maybe I should be doing this in song?
468
00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:45,205
‐ Okay. Let me go grab some sheet music.
469
00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:47,332
‐ Oh, my God. Really?
‐ I will slap you.
470
00:20:47,958 --> 00:20:52,712
‐ Hey, ladies. I started us off
with a bottle of sparkling rose.
471
00:20:54,214 --> 00:20:56,091
‐ Um, Alison?
472
00:20:56,091 --> 00:21:01,346
Alison, before I share another sip
of fizzy pink wine with you...
473
00:21:02,264 --> 00:21:04,599
I need to tell you guys the truth.
474
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,144
My name isn't Other Alison B.
475
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:12,524
‐ I know. It must be so hard
that I am original Alison B.,
476
00:21:12,524 --> 00:21:15,527
but you should know that "other,"
it doesn't mean less than.
477
00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:20,490
‐ No. My name is Isadora Grossman‐Levine.
478
00:21:20,490 --> 00:21:22,242
Izzy, for short.
479
00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:25,036
‐ Wait. You lied about your name?
480
00:21:25,036 --> 00:21:26,788
‐ I lied...
481
00:21:27,747 --> 00:21:29,165
for my life.
482
00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:32,085
It was the spring of my junior year,
483
00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:35,589
and I was abroad in the British Big Apple,
London,
484
00:21:35,589 --> 00:21:37,841
when I met Damien.
485
00:21:37,841 --> 00:21:39,968
It was a whirlwind romance,
486
00:21:39,968 --> 00:21:43,597
but when the semester ended,
I was ready to leave it behind.
487
00:21:43,597 --> 00:21:46,182
Damien became obsessive.
488
00:21:46,182 --> 00:21:48,226
He followed me back to America
489
00:21:48,226 --> 00:21:50,562
and showed up at my doorstep.
490
00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:53,106
He was tortured by his love for me.
491
00:21:53,106 --> 00:21:55,692
And we were afraid he might try
to hurt us both,
492
00:21:55,692 --> 00:21:56,985
like in Romeo and Juliet.
493
00:21:56,985 --> 00:21:59,321
But not the original.
The remake with Leo in it‐‐
494
00:21:59,321 --> 00:22:02,365
‐ Bring it back.
‐ The only thing I could do was disappear.
495
00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:03,617
Change my name.
496
00:22:03,617 --> 00:22:07,579
Damien went crazy trying to find me
over the years,
497
00:22:07,579 --> 00:22:10,081
but I just got word from my lawyer.
498
00:22:11,082 --> 00:22:13,001
He finally did it.
499
00:22:13,001 --> 00:22:15,795
‐ He killed himself?
‐ No, he moved to Tampa.
500
00:22:15,795 --> 00:22:18,548
And got eaten by a giant alligator.
501
00:22:18,548 --> 00:22:21,176
As much as I mourn for him...
502
00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:26,097
I am finally able to tell my story.
503
00:22:26,097 --> 00:22:29,017
And reveal who I really am.
504
00:22:29,017 --> 00:22:32,354
Isadora Grossman‐Levine...
505
00:22:32,354 --> 00:22:33,855
the first.
506
00:22:35,690 --> 00:22:37,484
‐ That is...
507
00:22:38,568 --> 00:22:40,153
So fucking cool.
508
00:22:40,153 --> 00:22:43,073
‐ No guy has every considered
murder‐suicide‐ing me.
509
00:22:43,073 --> 00:22:44,950
I'm basically disgusting.
510
00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:46,326
ALISON B.:
I'm getting another bottle.
511
00:22:46,326 --> 00:22:49,955
Izzy, you have to tell us more
about abroad.
512
00:22:49,955 --> 00:22:51,539
‐ Okay.
[chuckles softly]
513
00:22:58,129 --> 00:23:01,132
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
514
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,055
JULES:
Mm.
515
00:23:07,764 --> 00:23:08,974
Mm.
516
00:23:09,558 --> 00:23:13,520
Ugh. Without a chaser,
you can really taste the potato.
517
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,524
‐ Oh. Hey, why would I care
that I end up on a random fishing boat
518
00:23:17,524 --> 00:23:19,192
going thousands of miles away?
519
00:23:19,192 --> 00:23:20,986
Embrace the chaos.
520
00:23:20,986 --> 00:23:23,071
That's all anyone ever expects of me.
521
00:23:23,071 --> 00:23:25,532
You, my mom, the whole world.
Why fight it?
522
00:23:25,532 --> 00:23:28,326
‐ No, no, no. I don't think that at all.
I was just trying to show...
523
00:23:28,326 --> 00:23:30,120
that I can be fun.
524
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,581
Not that you can't not be fun.
525
00:23:32,581 --> 00:23:34,291
I'm too drunk to explain this correctly.
526
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:36,710
‐ Yeah, we are who we are, Jules.
527
00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:37,794
So fuck it.
528
00:23:37,794 --> 00:23:40,088
We may as well make the most of it.
529
00:23:40,088 --> 00:23:41,548
Frans.
‐ [singing in Finnish]
530
00:23:41,548 --> 00:23:42,799
STELLA:
I take back what I said.
531
00:23:42,799 --> 00:23:44,092
I will marry you.
532
00:23:44,092 --> 00:23:46,136
[fishermen cheering]
533
00:23:47,262 --> 00:23:48,930
[fisherman shouts in Finnish]
534
00:23:49,848 --> 00:23:52,142
‐ Ugh. I will not be a buzzkill,
I will not be a buzzkill.
535
00:23:52,142 --> 00:23:54,060
I will not be a buzzkill.
I will not be a buzzkill.
536
00:23:55,103 --> 00:23:56,396
‐ Come with me.
537
00:23:59,566 --> 00:24:02,569
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
538
00:24:04,654 --> 00:24:06,698
Do you swear to tell the truth,
even though you're no fun,
539
00:24:06,698 --> 00:24:08,533
have never been fun, and never will be?
540
00:24:08,533 --> 00:24:11,870
‐ Jules Wiley, you are charged
with murdering the buzz
541
00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:14,039
in the first degree. How do you plead?
542
00:24:14,039 --> 00:24:16,249
‐ I didn't do it! I'm not a buzzkill!
543
00:24:16,249 --> 00:24:17,709
‐ [gavel pounds]
JUDGE: Counsel,
544
00:24:17,709 --> 00:24:19,419
control your witness.
545
00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:21,922
‐ The buzz is dead, your honor.
546
00:24:21,922 --> 00:24:24,049
The only question now is...
547
00:24:24,049 --> 00:24:25,133
who did it.
548
00:24:25,133 --> 00:24:27,552
The coroner put the approximate
time of death
549
00:24:27,552 --> 00:24:31,097
between 12:06 and 12:17
in the morning.
550
00:24:31,097 --> 00:24:34,559
Ms. Wiley, can you confirm for us
where you were at that time?
551
00:24:34,559 --> 00:24:37,812
‐ I've been on the boat.
I've been drinking. I'm being fun.
552
00:24:38,605 --> 00:24:41,733
‐ Let the record show that Ms. Wiley
553
00:24:41,733 --> 00:24:45,028
has been holding the same full beer
554
00:24:45,028 --> 00:24:46,529
for the better part of an hour.
555
00:24:46,529 --> 00:24:48,823
JULES: Objection!
JUDGE: Overruled.
556
00:24:48,823 --> 00:24:51,952
‐ Judge, I'd like to enter into the record
557
00:24:51,952 --> 00:24:53,703
exhibit 2A.
558
00:24:53,703 --> 00:24:56,748
[laughing, chattering on screen]
559
00:24:58,708 --> 00:25:01,294
‐ [crowd on TV exclaiming]
‐ [jurors gasping]
560
00:25:01,294 --> 00:25:04,506
‐ June 22, 2019.
561
00:25:04,506 --> 00:25:07,175
Ms. Wiley turned the lights on
562
00:25:07,175 --> 00:25:09,386
in the middle of a house party.
563
00:25:09,386 --> 00:25:11,680
‐ That was an accident.
I was just trying to find my keys.
564
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,598
‐ So you could leave the party early,
Ms. Wiley?
565
00:25:14,641 --> 00:25:17,644
What we have here,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
566
00:25:17,644 --> 00:25:20,605
is a pattern of behavior.
567
00:25:20,605 --> 00:25:22,816
Vibes ruined, blankets wetted.
568
00:25:22,816 --> 00:25:24,859
This woman has, over the years,
569
00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:27,028
harshed several mellows.
570
00:25:27,028 --> 00:25:31,992
And I don't think the people can rest
until justice is served.
571
00:25:31,992 --> 00:25:34,744
‐ You don't understand!
I didn't want to kill the buzz.
572
00:25:34,744 --> 00:25:36,496
I was trying not to!
573
00:25:36,496 --> 00:25:38,206
Things were just getting out of control.
574
00:25:38,206 --> 00:25:40,584
They had to be stopped.
They had to be stopped.
575
00:25:40,584 --> 00:25:43,044
They had to be... stop!
576
00:25:43,044 --> 00:25:45,046
I'm the lame one. I'm boring.
I'm a buzzkill.
577
00:25:45,046 --> 00:25:46,798
And I am getting us out of here.
578
00:25:47,507 --> 00:25:48,967
Hey, Siri?
‐[phone beeps]
579
00:25:48,967 --> 00:25:51,928
What's Finnish for
"Turn the fuck around"?
580
00:25:53,054 --> 00:25:56,975
‐ [sighs] I am starving.
581
00:25:56,975 --> 00:25:58,226
‐ Me, too.
582
00:25:58,226 --> 00:26:01,104
All I've eaten today is half a glow stick
and that Sour Patch Kid.
583
00:26:01,104 --> 00:26:02,272
[both laugh]
584
00:26:02,272 --> 00:26:05,442
[gasps] Oh, you know what sounds
really good right now?
585
00:26:05,442 --> 00:26:08,028
Pancakes.
‐ Oh, God!
586
00:26:08,028 --> 00:26:11,448
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
587
00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:19,581
♪ Girls, they wanna have fun ♪
588
00:26:19,581 --> 00:26:23,585
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
589
00:26:23,585 --> 00:26:24,878
‐ These are good plain.
590
00:26:26,087 --> 00:26:28,590
‐ I tried to be as fun as you
for one night.
591
00:26:28,590 --> 00:26:30,383
And I almost got us shipped off to Alaska.
592
00:26:30,383 --> 00:26:32,302
‐ Who says Alaska's not fun?
593
00:26:32,302 --> 00:26:34,763
I think the two of us could have
started something really beautiful there.
594
00:26:34,763 --> 00:26:36,139
‐ Don't you mean the three of us?
595
00:26:36,139 --> 00:26:37,891
‐ Oh, yeah. You, me, and Frans.
596
00:26:37,891 --> 00:26:40,936
But don't sell yourself short.
Gideon was totally into you.
597
00:26:41,937 --> 00:26:43,897
‐ I just wanted to come through for you.
598
00:26:43,897 --> 00:26:45,148
‐ You did.
599
00:26:45,148 --> 00:26:48,401
Something like this was actually
exactly what I wanted.
600
00:26:48,401 --> 00:26:49,778
‐ Something like pancakes?
601
00:26:49,778 --> 00:26:52,280
‐ Mm, something regular. And by regular,
602
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,532
I don't mean boring. I mean real.
603
00:26:55,533 --> 00:26:58,995
‐ Well, these jackets for real
smell like tuna.
604
00:26:58,995 --> 00:27:01,331
‐ Are you kidding?
I'm gonna wear this thing all the time.
605
00:27:01,331 --> 00:27:03,083
I mean, you and Madison
have your Aruba T‐shirts.
606
00:27:03,083 --> 00:27:04,459
Now you and I have something.
607
00:27:05,710 --> 00:27:07,462
‐ So, business school?
608
00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,298
‐ Yeah. I don't know, I mean,
609
00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:13,260
I think there's a version of
settled‐down me I'm interested in meeting.
610
00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:16,012
Like maybe one day
I might want to run a nonprofit.
611
00:27:16,012 --> 00:27:17,806
You know you even have to go to school
612
00:27:17,806 --> 00:27:19,349
to not make companies money?
613
00:27:20,684 --> 00:27:22,727
It's very backward.
JULES: Yeah.
614
00:27:22,727 --> 00:27:25,313
‐ Where have you been?
I was freaking out.
615
00:27:25,313 --> 00:27:27,440
I texted both of you last night
and neither of you responded,
616
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,984
so I've been tracking your location,
617
00:27:28,984 --> 00:27:31,403
and you've been in the middle of
the fucking ocean for the last six hours!
618
00:27:31,403 --> 00:27:32,988
‐ Yeah, it was an eventful evening.
619
00:27:32,988 --> 00:27:35,991
‐ Us, too. My fake stalker boyfriend died.
620
00:27:35,991 --> 00:27:37,701
‐ Yeah. We can call her Izzy now.
621
00:27:37,701 --> 00:27:39,369
IZZY:
I know he never existed,
622
00:27:39,369 --> 00:27:42,330
but, like, I just can't believe he's gone.
623
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,001
‐ Oh, God, what is that smell?
624
00:27:46,001 --> 00:27:47,878
‐ I think my jacket.
‐ Oh, God!
625
00:27:47,878 --> 00:27:49,129
IZZY: Do you guys want‐‐
JULES: It's us.
626
00:27:49,129 --> 00:27:50,714
MADISON:
Oh, God!
627
00:27:50,714 --> 00:27:52,591
JULES: Yeah.
MADISON: Oh, God. I need some coffee.
628
00:27:52,591 --> 00:27:54,843
[all chattering]
629
00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:56,887
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
630
00:27:56,887 --> 00:27:59,472
♪ Girls, they wanna ♪
631
00:27:59,472 --> 00:28:01,850
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
632
00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:03,518
♪ Girls ♪
633
00:28:03,518 --> 00:28:06,229
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
634
00:28:06,229 --> 00:28:07,689
♪ Girls ♪
635
00:28:07,689 --> 00:28:10,233
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
636
00:28:10,233 --> 00:28:12,027
♪ And girls ♪
637
00:28:12,027 --> 00:28:13,612
♪ They wanna have ♪
638
00:28:13,612 --> 00:28:17,782
♪ That's all they really want ♪
639
00:28:17,782 --> 00:28:21,912
♪ Is some fun ♪
640
00:28:21,912 --> 00:28:25,248
♪ When the working day is done ♪
641
00:28:25,248 --> 00:28:28,376
♪ Oh, girls, they wanna have fun ♪
642
00:28:29,586 --> 00:28:32,923
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪