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♪ cheerful jazz playing ♪
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‐ Hey, Allison, Allison, Allison.
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‐ Did my stapler do something wrong?
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‐ Celeste wants us to throw away
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everything in the office
that doesn't spark joy.
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‐ My stapler doesn't have to spark joy,
it just has to staple.
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‐ I'm just not feeling anything.
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‐ How am I supposed to design
the homepage layout without my mouse?
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Uh, joy, radiating joy.
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Happiness with every click.
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Ooh, happy, joy.
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‐ Okay, speaking of your mouse,
I need your help with the computer thing.
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This is Woöm's new
energy‐clearing facial spray,
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Tidal Climax.
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‐ Yeah, I know, I'm featuring‐‐
[ coughs ]
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IZZY: Can you smell that?
‐ I can taste it.
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‐ Celeste would love it if you could
upload the smell to the site
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for customers to sample.
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‐ She wants me to upload
a smell into the computer?
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‐ Yes. She read an article about how
that technology is being developed.
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‐ Right, but it doesn't exist yet.
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‐ But you could use like a plug‐in
or an extension, maybe a widget.
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Oh, you should sunset a widget.
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‐ Stop saying random computer terms.
‐ [ phone vibrating ]
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‐ Oh, I have to take this.
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‐ [ vibrating continues ]
‐ No!
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‐ Hey, Madison.
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MADISON:
Jules, you're coming with me tonight.
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‐ Coming with you to what?
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‐ It's finally happening, an event for
my own client where I'm running point.
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And out of everyone in my life,
I want you by my side.
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JULES:
You don't want me by your side.
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I don't even want me by my side.
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If I could attend large social events
without me, I would.
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‐ It is the biggest night
of my professional life
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and you're gonna be there.
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It starts at 7:00, dress is formal casual.
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‐ Those things are opposites.
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MADISON:
Well, what are you wearing right now?
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‐ Jeans and a top.
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‐ Are you doing that thing where you
call a sweatshirt a top?
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‐ No.
‐ You're coming.
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Text me when you're on your way.
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If there's a single animal product
in those puff pastries,
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I will burn this place to the ground.
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[ audience applauding, cheering ]
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‐ Behind these doors awaits
a spectacular array of options,
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but what will Jules end up doing tonight?
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The choice is in her hands
on America's favorite game show...
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[ audience joining in ]
Should She Go Out?
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[ laughs ]
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‐ Here's the deal, Jules.
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You can go to this stressful
weeknight work party with Madison,
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or you can choose whatever's behind
door number one!
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AUDIENCE:
Ooh!
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‐ Um... [ clears throat ]
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Okay, I'll take door number one.
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‐ Let's see what she's got.
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Oh, tough break!
‐ [ audience groans ]
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‐ Behind door number one is Amelia,
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a girl Madison meets tonight
and replaces you with
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as her new best friend!
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[ audience groans ]
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‐ But don't worry, Jules,
we'll make you another deal.
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You can keep Amelia or take a gamble
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and see what's behind door number two!
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‐ [ audience applauding, cheering ]
‐ Um...
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well, Amelia sounds like
kind of a setback for me,
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so... door number two.
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[ cheering and applause ]
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‐ Oh, bad luck!
‐ [ audience groans ]
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‐ Looks like door number two
is a debilitating case
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of the fear of missing out!
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[ audience groans ]
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‐ Are any of these good options?
CAT LADY: Don't worry, Jules.
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We'll make you one more deal.
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You can stick with the FOMO
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or check out what's behind
door number three!
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‐ [ cheering and applause ]
AUDIENCE: Number three! Number three!
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‐ I mean, none of these are prizes‐‐
‐ Door number three!
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Oh, congratulations, Jules!
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Behind door number three
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is an all‐expenses‐not‐paid trip
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to accompany Madison
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to her weird vegan chef party!
‐ [ audience cheering ]
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‐ Wait, so I still have to go? I‐‐
‐ That's all the time we have, folks.
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Tune in tomorrow to see if a woman
attends the baby shower
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of a former coworker's second kid on...
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[ audience joining in ]
Should She Go Out?
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[ audience cheering, whistling ]
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[ Cat Lady laughing ]
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[ laughs ]
Woo!
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♪ upbeat theme song playing ♪
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‐ I'm torn.
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Do we start by uploading the scent
for Tidal Climax Algae Bloom
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or Tidal Climax Red Tide?
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‐ It's a legitimate Sophie's Choice.
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‐ Just to reiterate:
100% impossible either way.
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‐ I wanna retry them
and jot down more of my thoughts.
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‐ Oh, Alison threw away all the pens.
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‐ Uh, you guys noodle on that.
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Thank you so much
for bringing me clothes.
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There's no way I'd get out
of here in time to change.
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‐ Oh, my God. Are you kidding?
I love a good before‐and‐after.
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I brought everything I already had
in my car.
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Tahoe last weekend.
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Roller disco a few nights ago.
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Third date.
Think I might end it.
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JULES:
Madison specifically picked me to go
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to this big work event tonight with her,
and I'm supposed to look nice.
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‐ Wait, the vegan chef book launch?
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She invited me to that yesterday,
but I said I couldn't go.
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‐ Wait, Madison invited you first?
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‐ Okay, that was supposed to be a secret,
so don't tell her that I told you.
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But it's fine that I told you,
because we're all such good friends.
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‐ If it's okay that you told me,
then why can't Madison know I know?
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And why aren't you going?
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‐ I'll tell you, but it's a secret,
so you can't tell Madison.
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‐ Can't tell Madison
like you couldn't tell me?
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Or can't tell Madison
like I actually can't tell her?
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‐ The former.
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The latter.
Wait, can you tell me them again?
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‐ Why couldn't you go?
‐ I said that I had food poisoning, okay,
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but I'm really going to a secret party
at Joey Lawrence's house.
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‐ Wait, the fact that you're going
is a secret?
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Or the entire party is a secret?
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‐ Both. Joey's having a group
of his closest friends over
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to announce that he's dying.
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‐ Oh, God, that's awful.
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‐ I know, it's super tragic,
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but, you know, if it's gonna be
his last party ever,
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I feel personally obligated
to have an incredible time.
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‐ Wait, how do you know Joey Lawrence?
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‐ Well, there's this group
of Hollywood brothers,
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like the Jonas Brothers,
the Hemsworths, the Lawrences‐‐
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they all get dinner once a month.
I bartended for them once.
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Oh, and the Hansons.
They are wild.
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‐ I guess I just feel a little funny
keeping secrets from Madison‐‐
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And I am not wearing the boa.
‐ Of course not.
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I don't think you should ever
keep secrets from friends.
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Except for the times where it is
extremely important that you do.
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‐ And you know the difference how?
‐ You know, it's like,
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when you're at a concert
and a stranger offers you drugs.
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You should have to kind of feel out
if it's a good idea in the moment,
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with really high stakes
if you get it wrong.
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[ door opens ]
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‐ [ gasps ] Oh, my God.
Party in the girls' room.
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Hey, if either of you guys
wanna join me tonight,
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I'm going to watch Pearl Harbor
and then Serendipity
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to test my theory that
Kate Beckinsale's aging in reverse.
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‐ Um, well, I have to go
to a work party with Madison.
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‐ Fun. I love costume parties.
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Are you going too, Stella?
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‐ Uh, I have this other thing
I have to make an appearance at.
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‐ I feel like "It Girls" always have
to make an appearance at something,
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like you apparate from event to event
like a very chic ghost.
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Have you ever thought about that?
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‐ You come at people with
kind of an intense energy, don't you?
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‐ That's so funny,
that's what my last few therapists
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have said before
they suddenly move away.
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It's like every time I get a new one,
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they get a once‐in‐a‐lifetime opportunity
to move to a remote country
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and do therapy for the underprivileged.
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‐ Well, you know what,
I find you absolutely...
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‐ Whatever it is, I promise I can change.
‐ ...fascinating.
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‐ Oh, my God, you do?
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‐ Yeah. I mean,
you're unsettling in a way
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that gives me an adrenaline rush
and I kind of love it.
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You should come with me
to this weird party, what do you think?
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‐ Eh... yes.
‐ You're not afraid of death, right?
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‐ What?
‐ Cool.
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‐ Oh, my God, I have to pee so bad.
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♪ dance music playing ♪
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[ phone vibrating ]
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‐ [ gasps ] You're here!
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You look like a sexy eggplant,
but you're here!
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‐ How's it all going?
‐ Stressful.
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I took my eye off Chef Hallie
for two seconds
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and found her hiding
in the bathroom housing a Slim Jim.
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Apparently she still stress‐eats meat
from time to time,
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and now I have a purseful
of confiscated jerky.
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Oh, that bitch loves a kielbasa.
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Look, I have to handle this,
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then I'll be back and I want us
to make the rounds together.
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Don't move!
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What are you doing?
‐ You told me not to move.
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‐ No. I meant mingle.
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But, like, stay close.
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‐ Okay. You can do this.
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Just... jump into a conversation.
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They're just terrifying people
that you can't relate to.
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So, do you like... veganism?
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‐ I'm from Wisconsin.
State religion is cheese.
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‐ Oh, yeah, I had
a bison burger for lunch.
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I'm just here 'cause my friend
is PR for the chef.
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I'd probably feel guilty about it,
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but I hear Chef Hallie's
a closet carnivore herself.
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‐ Really?
‐ Oh, yeah.
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Huge meat freak.
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‐ Well, I'm gonna make the rounds.
It was nice talking to you.
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‐ Yeah.
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00:09:31,393 --> 00:09:32,520
‐ Jules!
‐ What?
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00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,107
‐ Where did you go?
I wanted you to meet my boss.
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‐ Mm. I've been here,
just talking with some guy.
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‐ I really need your support tonight.
‐ I'm being supportive.
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I'm eating a crab cake
made from hearts of palm.
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‐ Guess I just expected you to be
a little more excited that out of everyone
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I know to come with me
to this huge life event, I picked‐‐
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‐ Stella. You picked Stella.
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00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:50,472
Okay, she wasn't supposed to tell me
and I wasn't supposed to tell you,
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00:09:50,472 --> 00:09:53,395
but she told me and I'm telling you;
I know you invited Stella first.
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‐ Well, you guys are wrong
'cause I actually invited Colin first.
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00:09:56,359 --> 00:09:59,532
‐ You're trying to prove a point
by telling me you invited me third?
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‐ Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I was stupid to think he'd come with me.
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00:10:02,873 --> 00:10:06,337
‐ Wait, Colin, like
secret‐doctor‐boyfriend Colin?
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00:10:06,337 --> 00:10:07,758
Why wouldn't he come?
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00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,887
‐ He moves under the radar right now
and there's a ton of press here,
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00:10:09,887 --> 00:10:13,268
so he's just gonna meet me after, but...
I didn't wanna come alone.
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‐ Do you wanna talk about it?
I mean, I know
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00:10:15,063 --> 00:10:17,903
I'm just coming back into your life,
but whatever it is, you can tell me.
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00:10:19,823 --> 00:10:21,952
‐ Okay, fine, but you
have to keep it a secret.
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00:10:21,952 --> 00:10:23,706
‐ I will, I promise.
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00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,752
‐ He's...
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00:10:27,296 --> 00:10:28,549
older.
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00:10:31,304 --> 00:10:33,350
‐ That's it?
‐ Yeah, he's older,
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so we're not ready
to tell people we're together yet.
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‐ Well, how much older?
Like Keanu Reeves older
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00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:40,573
or like "fought in the Civil War" older?
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‐ Just older.
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00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,495
‐ It doesn't seem like that big of a deal,
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00:10:43,495 --> 00:10:45,290
but if you wanna keep it private...
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‐ Hey, thanks for the tip on the T‐Rex.
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00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:51,929
‐ What does he mean "tip," Jules?
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00:10:51,929 --> 00:10:54,560
That guy's a huge
food and culture reporter.
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‐ Well, shit.
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00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,237
‐ How could you do this to me, Jules?
This is my job.
237
00:11:00,237 --> 00:11:02,116
Secrets between friends
are supposed to be secret.
238
00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:03,535
‐ I didn't realize that was a secret.
239
00:11:03,535 --> 00:11:05,497
‐ That a vegan chef eats meat?
240
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:08,253
What did you think it was,
just a career‐destroying fun fact?
241
00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:11,134
‐ Oh, was bringing me
to a big social event a bad idea?
242
00:11:11,134 --> 00:11:13,346
I wonder how either of us
could have seen this coming.
243
00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,975
‐ Oh, that is such a cop‐out, Jules.
244
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,021
You wanted to be friends again,
and this is a part of it.
245
00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:20,653
Coming to events, keeping secrets.
I confided in you, that means something.
246
00:11:20,653 --> 00:11:21,947
‐ I know that it means something.
247
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,618
I'm not really sure
what that something is,
248
00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:25,955
but I acknowledge it sounds
like progress when you say it.
249
00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:27,959
‐ Okay, the only way to stop this guy
from running the story
250
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:29,588
is to feed him a better story.
251
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,759
Only problem is,
it's a totally dead Tuesday,
252
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,930
and our friend who always knows
something crazy going on
253
00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,975
currently has her head in the toilet
from bad sushi.
254
00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:38,689
What? What do you know?
Your eyes widened.
255
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:41,570
‐ What? No they didn't.
They're the same size they've always been.
256
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,908
‐ Jules.
‐ Secrets between friends
are supposed to be sacred?
257
00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:45,285
‐ Yeah, that only applies
when I'm talking about me.
258
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,458
‐ [ horn honks ]
‐ [ Madison gasps ]
259
00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:52,634
‐ It's not gonna happen.
260
00:11:52,634 --> 00:11:53,928
‐ A trade.
‐ Better than this?
261
00:11:53,928 --> 00:11:56,432
‐ How do you feel about the exclusive
to a secret celebrity party
262
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:58,228
at Joey Lawrence's house?
263
00:11:58,228 --> 00:12:00,775
‐ Thanks, but no thanks.
‐ To announce that he's dying.
264
00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:06,411
♪ pop music playing ♪
265
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:11,045
‐ Whiskey, neat.
266
00:12:11,045 --> 00:12:13,216
‐ Yes. Whiskey, same.
267
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:15,888
[ giggles ] That's my order, too.
268
00:12:17,474 --> 00:12:18,561
‐ Thank you.
269
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,317
‐ Oh... Oh, my God.
270
00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:25,532
It tastes like Don Draper and gasoline.
271
00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:27,912
Can I have a vodka soda with 17 limes?
272
00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:30,585
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Yeah. What?
273
00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:32,797
No. Here's the thing.
274
00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:36,220
You're so cool and fabulous
and interesting,
275
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,601
and I am... just like this.
276
00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:40,395
‐ The reason why you find me
interesting is
277
00:12:40,395 --> 00:12:42,817
because I don't put it all
out there like you do.
278
00:12:42,817 --> 00:12:45,698
Like, my parents were
backup dancers for Madonna,
279
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,246
who fucked once on a flight to Tokyo
and then split up before tour was over.
280
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:52,754
I don't tell people that
because it's tedious and boring.
281
00:12:52,754 --> 00:12:56,135
‐ Holy shit, that's like the most
interesting thing I've ever heard.
282
00:12:56,135 --> 00:12:58,223
My parents met at a Brookstone,
both reaching
283
00:12:58,223 --> 00:13:00,310
for the same
glow‐in‐the‐dark shower radio.
284
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:03,149
‐ Okay, how about for tonight you don't...
285
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,903
you know, share as much?
286
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:06,657
People like a mystery woman.
287
00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:09,036
‐ Okay, yeah, I get it.
288
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:11,667
Like when a non‐famous girl
gets photographed with a celebrity
289
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,336
and then the caption reads,
290
00:13:13,336 --> 00:13:16,677
"Orlando Bloom pictured
with mystery brunette."
291
00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:19,558
‐ You're kind of like
if drugs were a person.
292
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,860
‐ Here you go.
‐ Oh, my God, thank you.
293
00:13:27,114 --> 00:13:29,118
♪ Look I'm a breath of fresh air... ♪
294
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,830
‐ Oh, shit, my boss wants
to know where I am.
295
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:33,293
‐ I'm gonna need quotes.
‐ Okay, you go do your job.
296
00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:36,007
I promise I will never talk to anyone
about anything ever again.
297
00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:39,054
I swear on Turtle's life. Turtle's my cat.
‐ I don't care.
298
00:13:39,054 --> 00:13:41,267
♪ I see y'all foul, so you should wave
the white flag ♪
299
00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:43,187
♪ I don't need y'all towels
If you really wanna get it ♪
300
00:13:43,187 --> 00:13:45,150
♪ The way that I get it
Admit it, that I be bout my business ♪
301
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:46,737
♪ I stop when I finish, yeah... ♪
302
00:13:46,737 --> 00:13:49,116
‐ I bet you're wondering
what I'm thinking about.
303
00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:51,872
‐ Oh. Sorry, I'm just trying
to charge my phone
304
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,959
and you're standing
in front of the outlet.
305
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:55,671
What's your name?
306
00:13:57,090 --> 00:13:58,426
‐ I don't have one.
307
00:13:58,426 --> 00:13:59,470
‐ Okay.
308
00:14:00,096 --> 00:14:01,515
Do you live in L. A.?
309
00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:04,063
‐ Does anyone live in L. A.?
310
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:07,069
‐ You know, eight percent
is probably fine.
311
00:14:09,323 --> 00:14:12,622
♪ So let me ask a question:
Are you ready? ♪
312
00:14:12,622 --> 00:14:15,920
♪ Go! I'm in high demand, not anyone
can advance just like I can... ♪
313
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,803
‐ Hey, Jules.
You want a hit of this?
314
00:14:19,803 --> 00:14:23,351
It's mint papaya with just
the teeniest amount of opium.
315
00:14:23,351 --> 00:14:24,980
‐ Ooh, no thank you.
316
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,234
So, don't be mad, but Madison's here.
317
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,238
‐ Jules, I told you not to tell.
318
00:14:29,238 --> 00:14:32,285
‐ I know, I kept your secret, but then
I accidentally told another secret,
319
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:34,081
which was actually
Madison's client's secret,
320
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,920
so to trade secrets,
I had to tell your secret...s.
321
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,757
‐ Well, this is gonna be a cluster fuck.
322
00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,510
[ laughs ] You know, in retrospect,
323
00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:43,349
it is with incredible foresight
I got this high.
324
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,896
‐ You think Madison's really gonna be
that mad that you lied?
325
00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,942
‐ No, she's not gonna be mad.
326
00:14:47,942 --> 00:14:49,361
She's gonna have a panic attack.
327
00:14:49,361 --> 00:14:50,865
This is a magic show.
328
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,119
‐ Oh, my God!
329
00:14:53,119 --> 00:14:56,960
Oh, my God!
Madison is terrified of magic.
330
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,632
Remember that guy
who was doing card tricks
at Katie Hathaway's graduation party?
331
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,264
‐ Yeah. He asked her to pick a card
and she punched him in the face.
332
00:15:03,264 --> 00:15:04,349
It was hilarious.
333
00:15:04,349 --> 00:15:07,022
‐ Wait, I thought you said this party
is because Joey's dying.
334
00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:09,694
‐ No, he is.
He's obsessed with magic.
335
00:15:09,694 --> 00:15:13,284
So he got this famous illusionist
to do this insane trick
336
00:15:13,284 --> 00:15:15,413
where they stop his heart
for three minutes.
337
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:19,004
‐ Oh. Well, I'm relieved he's not dying
of a terminal illness
338
00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:22,762
but rather of a fake
magic‐induced heart attack.
339
00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:28,607
‐ I honestly don't understand why she's
so freaked out by magic, anyway.
340
00:15:28,607 --> 00:15:30,694
‐ Um, not being in control
of what's happening,
341
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:34,828
not being told what's going on,
being deceived intentionally.
342
00:15:34,828 --> 00:15:38,376
‐ Wait. Those are all the things
that Madison hates.
343
00:15:38,376 --> 00:15:40,589
‐ Okay, no more hookah for you.
344
00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:43,679
‐ How the fuck am I supposed
to guess your name?
345
00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:46,267
There's like 10 trillion fucking names.
346
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:47,477
‐ Izzy, have you seen Madison?
347
00:15:48,146 --> 00:15:50,358
‐ I fucking hate parties in the Hills.
348
00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:53,782
‐ You guys have no respect
for what I'm trying to do here.
349
00:15:53,782 --> 00:15:55,034
Let's just go.
350
00:15:55,828 --> 00:15:58,332
It's what you wanted. Hmph.
351
00:16:05,305 --> 00:16:07,768
‐ Oh! Uh, uh...
We can't go over there.
352
00:16:07,768 --> 00:16:08,896
STELLA:
Why not?
353
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:11,985
‐ It's a... I can't believe
I'm going to say this word...
354
00:16:11,985 --> 00:16:13,070
secret.
355
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:16,327
‐ Seriously?
‐ I swore on Turtle's life
I'd never tell another secret.
356
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,957
‐ Honey, he's a cat,
he has nine of them, so just tell us.
357
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:22,840
‐ I think that's Madison's
doctor boyfriend.
358
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:26,222
‐ She said his age is the reason
they're keeping their relationship private
359
00:16:26,222 --> 00:16:28,977
and that they were planning
on meeting up after her event.
360
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:32,610
‐ I mean, maybe he came early because
he doesn't have that much time left.
361
00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:35,073
IZZY: He looks like my rabbi
and Kurt Russell had a baby,
362
00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:37,285
but like a Benjamin Button baby.
363
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:41,085
‐ God, we can't let her freak out
in front of all these people.
364
00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:43,548
‐ Fuck this, I'm going in.
365
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,769
Madison?
366
00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,021
‐ Guys, not now.
367
00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,025
‐ Sorry to interrupt your intimate moment,
368
00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:55,071
but, um, we just need to borrow her
for a second.
369
00:16:55,071 --> 00:16:56,115
‐ One second.
370
00:16:59,204 --> 00:17:00,248
Stella.
371
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,670
‐ Jules.
‐ Madison.
372
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:05,133
‐ Izzy. Sorry.
No one said my name.
373
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,427
‐ What do you guys want?
374
00:17:06,427 --> 00:17:08,765
One of you doesn't tell me anything
and one of you can't keep her mouth shut.
375
00:17:08,765 --> 00:17:10,518
‐ Okay. Fun, angry energy coming from you,
376
00:17:10,518 --> 00:17:12,314
but we need to take a second
for an announcement.
377
00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:15,738
‐ What?
‐ This is a magic show.
378
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:20,914
‐ N‐No, it's not.
379
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,085
MAN:
All right, here we go.
380
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,632
[ scattered laughter, murmuring ]
381
00:17:25,632 --> 00:17:27,344
♪ rock music playing ♪
382
00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:31,477
‐ Ladies and gentlemen,
in a matter of moments
383
00:17:31,477 --> 00:17:33,982
I will electrocute Mr. Lawrence
until his heart,
384
00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:36,613
tracked by this monitor, stops.
385
00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:37,615
[ woman gasps ]
386
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:41,413
‐ It's been great knowing you, everyone.
I'll see you on the other side.
387
00:17:42,207 --> 00:17:43,417
I love you all.
388
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,798
[ monitor beeping ]
389
00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:48,804
MAGICIAN:
Now, I want to be clear here.
390
00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:50,974
This is not an illusion.
391
00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,477
This is really happening,
392
00:17:52,477 --> 00:17:55,567
and it is an extremely dangerous stunt.
393
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:56,820
[ electricity zapping ]
394
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:59,032
[ Lawrence groaning ]
395
00:17:59,032 --> 00:18:00,786
IZZY:
She doesn't look so good.
396
00:18:00,786 --> 00:18:02,998
STELLA:
Madison, honey, maybe we should go.
397
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,838
‐ I can't feel my legs.
398
00:18:06,296 --> 00:18:07,925
‐ Start the clock for three minutes.
399
00:18:07,925 --> 00:18:10,471
Joey Lawrence is officially dead.
400
00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:12,016
[ crowd gasping ]
401
00:18:12,016 --> 00:18:13,102
JULES:
Oh, my God!
402
00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:16,316
STELLA:
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
403
00:18:16,316 --> 00:18:17,778
Okay. She's out.
404
00:18:17,778 --> 00:18:19,197
‐ Wha‐What's going on?
405
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:21,034
‐ Thank God you're here.
She needs your help.
406
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:23,497
MAN: With‐with the reporter?
‐ What? No, she fainted.
407
00:18:23,497 --> 00:18:24,876
‐ I can see that.
408
00:18:24,876 --> 00:18:27,046
‐ Well, do something.
‐ Do you want me to call 911?
409
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,466
‐ Why would you call 911?
410
00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:30,554
‐ Because she fainted.
‐ But you're a doctor.
411
00:18:30,554 --> 00:18:33,977
‐ I'm not a doctor, I'm a publicist.
‐ I thought she was dating a doctor.
412
00:18:33,977 --> 00:18:36,649
‐ I'm not dating her.
I'm Madison's boss.
413
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,362
I came here to help her
with some reporter.
414
00:18:39,362 --> 00:18:41,033
‐ Then maybe you should call 911.
‐ [ defibrillator whines ]
415
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:42,118
[ paddles thump ]
416
00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:44,206
‐ [ spritzes ]
‐ [ Madison gasps ]
417
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,376
‐ She's alive!
‐ [ crowd cheering ]
418
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,884
‐ Oh, no, not Joey, just this girl.
419
00:18:49,884 --> 00:18:51,554
CROWD:
Awww!
420
00:18:51,554 --> 00:18:54,727
‐ Sometimes it can stop
for three minutes and 30 seconds.
421
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:56,230
Perfectly normal.
422
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:59,027
Nobody panic, we're just gonna
try it again here.
423
00:18:59,027 --> 00:19:00,656
[ electrical whining ]
424
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:02,827
‐ [ paddles thump ]
‐ [ crowd gasps ]
425
00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:07,001
‐ Come on, Jo‐Jo!
‐ [ paddles thump ]
426
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:09,339
[ crowd gasping ]
427
00:19:09,339 --> 00:19:11,009
‐ Shit.
‐ [ electricity whirring ]
428
00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:13,097
‐ [ paddles thump ]
‐ [ crowd gasping ]
429
00:19:13,097 --> 00:19:14,224
‐ Oh, fuck!
430
00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:15,727
[ siren chirps ]
431
00:19:16,896 --> 00:19:18,900
[ indistinct radio chatter ]
432
00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:26,248
‐ I can't believe we just saw
Joey Lawrence go into cardiac arrest.
433
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,835
‐ Magic should be illegal.
434
00:19:31,258 --> 00:19:33,262
‐ Please stay calm, everybody.
435
00:19:34,765 --> 00:19:36,435
Thanks for coming to my party.
436
00:19:36,435 --> 00:19:38,063
[ cheering ]
437
00:19:38,063 --> 00:19:40,777
Please join me inside
for coffee and cake!
438
00:19:40,777 --> 00:19:42,488
[ cheering ]
439
00:19:42,488 --> 00:19:44,744
‐ Holy shit, that was incredible.
440
00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:47,290
‐ Told ya.
441
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:50,756
♪ We made it through the wilderness... ♪
442
00:19:52,885 --> 00:19:55,431
‐ I can't believe you thought
my boss was my boyfriend.
443
00:19:55,431 --> 00:19:57,060
‐ You said he was old.
444
00:19:57,060 --> 00:20:00,399
‐ I said older, not old. He's 45.
445
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,030
‐ Okay, that's not a big enough
age difference
446
00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:05,034
for this to be such a problem.
447
00:20:06,036 --> 00:20:08,123
‐ Is this a keep or a tell?
448
00:20:11,631 --> 00:20:14,637
‐ Look, okay, the secret is not
that Colin is older,
449
00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:16,014
it's...
450
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:18,435
it's that he's married.
451
00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:20,691
Separated, divorced practically.
452
00:20:20,691 --> 00:20:22,653
They were already broken up
when we met,
453
00:20:22,653 --> 00:20:24,573
but they haven't finalized
the papers yet,
454
00:20:24,573 --> 00:20:27,203
and his lawyer said it's best
that he lay low with his dating life
455
00:20:27,203 --> 00:20:29,792
until the ink was dry
so as to not rock the boat.
456
00:20:30,418 --> 00:20:31,796
‐ Madison, wow.
457
00:20:32,255 --> 00:20:33,717
MADISON:
Look, they don't have any kids,
458
00:20:33,717 --> 00:20:35,428
so things won't get ugly.
459
00:20:35,428 --> 00:20:39,394
I just... don't want people, you know,
getting the wrong impression of him.
460
00:20:40,897 --> 00:20:42,025
Or me.
461
00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,487
‐ Does it feel better to tell us?
462
00:20:44,487 --> 00:20:46,241
‐ Oh, God, you have no idea.
463
00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:47,995
‐ I feel better, it's not even my secret.
464
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,794
Not that I anticipate my life
getting interesting enough
465
00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:54,507
to hide any aspect of it, but...
466
00:20:54,507 --> 00:20:57,806
I vote all secrets be
temporarily suspended.
467
00:20:57,806 --> 00:21:00,269
Among this group of people, at least.
468
00:21:01,606 --> 00:21:02,523
‐ Even her?
469
00:21:04,695 --> 00:21:05,989
JULES:
We can trust her.
470
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,870
I mean, we know she elaborately lied
about her identity
471
00:21:08,870 --> 00:21:11,249
to everyone we've worked with
for the last several years.
472
00:21:12,335 --> 00:21:13,295
‐ Works for me.
473
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:16,051
[ phone buzzing ]
474
00:21:19,432 --> 00:21:20,434
‐ Um... [ clears throat ]
475
00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:22,063
Just gonna take this.
476
00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:24,192
Jeremy?
477
00:21:24,192 --> 00:21:26,488
RAMONA:
Ew, no. It's Ramona.
478
00:21:26,488 --> 00:21:27,699
‐ Oh.
479
00:21:27,699 --> 00:21:29,912
Um... Oh, sorry, I missed your calls.
480
00:21:29,912 --> 00:21:32,416
This came up as your brother's number.
481
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:36,341
Oh! Our dad roped us all
into this new family plan thing,
482
00:21:36,341 --> 00:21:37,678
and now that keeps happening.
483
00:21:37,678 --> 00:21:39,598
Anyway, I wanna talk to you
about my wedding.
484
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:41,769
‐ Yeah, um, I'm sorry
I haven't reached out sooner.
485
00:21:41,769 --> 00:21:44,399
I'll return the bridesmaid's dress
and everything.
486
00:21:44,399 --> 00:21:46,153
RAMONA:
I don't want you to return it.
487
00:21:46,153 --> 00:21:47,906
I still want you to be in it.
488
00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,075
‐ Wait, really?
489
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,496
RAMONA:
Jeremy is being an idiot.
490
00:21:51,496 --> 00:21:53,585
You've been like family
the last five years.
491
00:21:53,585 --> 00:21:55,379
More than that, I consider you a friend.
492
00:21:55,379 --> 00:21:59,805
‐ Well, that's... that's really sweet,
but, um... I... I don't know.
493
00:21:59,805 --> 00:22:01,934
RAMONA: I mean, if it's too hard for you
to be around my brother,
494
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,145
I totally understand.
495
00:22:03,145 --> 00:22:05,609
I'll just tell him you're uncomfortable
or you're just not over it yet.
496
00:22:05,609 --> 00:22:08,155
‐ Oh, no, no... no, no, no.
Don't tell Jeremy I'm not over it.
497
00:22:08,155 --> 00:22:10,201
I am... I am totally over it.
498
00:22:10,201 --> 00:22:12,706
‐ It'll be great.
Besides, the wedding
499
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,334
is still a few months away
and guys like my brother
500
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,338
tend to come to their senses
about these things.
501
00:22:16,964 --> 00:22:18,885
I really want you to be there.
502
00:22:18,885 --> 00:22:20,555
Say you're still my bridesmaid, please?
503
00:22:21,014 --> 00:22:22,266
‐ I'm still your bridesmaid.
504
00:22:22,266 --> 00:22:23,811
RAMONA:
Yay! Okay.
505
00:22:23,811 --> 00:22:27,151
Now we have to start planning
my bachelorette party. Eeee!
506
00:22:27,151 --> 00:22:28,863
‐ [ feebly ]
Eeeee.
507
00:22:30,199 --> 00:22:31,702
‐ Who was that?
508
00:22:31,702 --> 00:22:33,581
‐ I'm in a wedding in a few months.
509
00:22:33,581 --> 00:22:35,292
It was just the bride
giving me some details.
510
00:22:35,292 --> 00:22:36,921
‐ Whose wedding?
511
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:40,971
‐ My... cousin's.
512
00:22:42,724 --> 00:22:44,394
‐ Hey, thanks again for the lead.
513
00:22:44,394 --> 00:22:47,609
‐ Signed copy of the Vegan Monologues
will be in the mail tomorrow.
514
00:22:48,235 --> 00:22:49,404
‐ Check Twitter.
515
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,711
‐ "Joey Lawrence, technically dead,
516
00:22:56,711 --> 00:22:59,090
pictured here with brown‐haired guest."
517
00:23:02,221 --> 00:23:03,223
STELLA:
Wow.
518
00:23:03,933 --> 00:23:05,979
That's almost a mystery brunette.
519
00:23:06,271 --> 00:23:08,191
‐ You guys, I did it!
520
00:23:09,068 --> 00:23:10,697
Yay!
521
00:23:10,697 --> 00:23:12,450
Whee! [ laughing ]
522
00:23:12,450 --> 00:23:14,412
♪ Sigrid singing
"Don't Feel Like Crying" ♪
523
00:23:14,412 --> 00:23:17,335
♪ Wallowing in it would be such a waste ♪
524
00:23:18,253 --> 00:23:21,301
♪ That isn't gonna fix it anyway ♪
525
00:23:21,301 --> 00:23:25,351
♪ No‐oh‐ooh ♪
526
00:23:25,351 --> 00:23:30,444
♪ Yeah, I dry my eyes
'cause I don't feel like crying ♪
527
00:23:30,444 --> 00:23:32,949
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh ♪
528
00:23:32,949 --> 00:23:35,580
♪ Yeah, at least tonight ♪
529
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,876
♪ No, I don't feel like crying... ♪
530
00:23:39,295 --> 00:23:40,924
♪ Hope you don't blame me ♪
531
00:23:40,924 --> 00:23:42,928
♪ For what I'm saying ♪
532
00:23:42,928 --> 00:23:45,015
♪ My heart is aching ♪
533
00:23:45,015 --> 00:23:47,144
♪ Do you feel it too? ♪
534
00:23:47,144 --> 00:23:49,399
♪ I hope you'll understand ♪
535
00:23:49,399 --> 00:23:50,985
♪ That I'm dealing ♪
536
00:23:50,985 --> 00:23:52,989
♪ It's my way of healing ♪
537
00:23:52,989 --> 00:23:54,576
♪ But here's the truth... ♪