Mog was tired.
She was dead tired.
Her head was dead tired.
Her paws were dead tired.
Even her tail was dead tired.
Mog thought, "I wanna sleep forever."
And so she did.
Isn't this a bit young for you?
Um...
Sometimes he still likes it.
Sometimes I still like it.
Are you all right, son?
Your dad was okay, you know?
- Yeah. - He was okay.
Yeah.
Kerry!
Kerry, can you get me a book? Uh-- Something with some action?
What?
Careful now.
Talk to me.
Gerri!
- Where are you, Gerri? Wow.
That was actually a perfect roll.
Yeah, Gerri!
You jump on that grenade for us. Thanks, pal.
No. It doesn't seem right. I don't want Tennessee Avenue.
My turn, then.
Please be caught.
And once again, I'm on your shit.
- Ooh, that'll be me. Hmm.
One-fifty.
You know, I know what you tried to do with Dad.
What? Uh-- I thought that...
would've kinda been your dream, Rome,
me fucking Gerri with your dick.
Come on, dick pickler. Pay up.
Seven, hey, that was perfect.
- Hey. Get-out-of-jail-free card. Hmm.
Another one.
You wanna sell that?
Oh, waitress service. Okay.
I shall have a Cuba Libre and a club sandwich, please.
Oh, okay. Well, let me, uh, grab a couple of kid's menus
and I'll be right back.
Okay.
The service here is weird and slow...
and fucking my dad.
You still into this, Will?
You wanna take a turn around the gardens?
Mm... No, I'm good.
Oh, come on, Willa! Marry him.
He's probably got, like, ten years left in him
and then it's all gravy.
I do not wish my private affairs
to become the subject of table chat, okay?
Okay, I have to go. Can I give my properties to Shiv?
No. No! No! No.
Why? - You have to auction them. The fuck are you going?
Okay, uh, the silly Forbes profile piece.
I'm turning ATN Citizens into a cash machine
and they wanna know how I did it.
Well, by turning on the bigot spigot to full gush.
Well "bigot spigot" is a little reductive and unfair,
but anyway, goodbye.
- Bye, Tom. Bye-bye.
- Um... Shiv... Talk about me!
Will do.
- Shiv. What?
I think you might have, um, accidentally been cheating.
What? I was only stealing so I could win.
Yeah, cheating's part of it.
Oh, look-- Shiv, do you think
that stealing is what good people do?
Stealing? Cheating at Monopoly?
- Come on. Hmm. Oh, come on.
Okay, well, he's here. Be nice.
Yes, I will be nice to Kurt Cobain
of the fucking floaties.
Hi. Hey.
He's just coming. Uh...
He needs a minute.
We, uh... We appreciate what you did.
It was nothing.
Sure.
But, hey, you know,
if you find him in the pool again,
there's a C-note in it for you
to just let him sink, okay?
"Too soon," said the room.
He's basically fine, they just kept him overnight to...
I don't know why, actually,
'cause I don't speak Italian, but...
no media pick-up,
so, all good.
Good.
Good. Good.
Ooh.
Jesus. - Hey, buddy.
- Hey. - Kenny.
- Hey! - What's up, Ken?
Hey. - Hey.
Hey. You okay, brother?
All good.
Let's-- Let's just not make a whole song and dance, okay?
Well, I think we will make a song and dance.
- You nearly drowned, Ken. Oh.
No, he just fell off an air bed.
- He's fine. - One too many limoncellos.
- No biggie. Yeah?
Okay. I'm just gonna grab my kids, I guess, uh...
Uh-- They can stay here, I'm sure, tonight,
if it's easier.
- I'm not leaving them with him. All right, then.
I guess we'll see you at the royal wedding then.
Maybe.
I might need to get home.
I'm talking to new lawyers.
New lawyers? Like, new new lawyers?
Yeah. Well, I can't really say, but, yeah,
just so you know, uh,
we're... Yeah, we're discussing putting everything,
like all the papers and all my communications
for the last five years, up on my Insta.
On Insta?
- Ken.
And, uh, Comfrey,
Vanity Fair might be doing a big thing with me.
- The whole thing, so... Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't know, whatever. I'm ready to...
I'm just-- I'm ready to really get into it all.
But, uh...
Yeah, thanks for...
Thanks. Okay, kids, let's go!
Let's go!
They're coming.
All right, man.
Later. Yeah.
He... ...seems good?
Oh, man.
We have been talking to-- to Vanity Fair,
but it's-- it's mostly us calling them.
Hey, Dad! You good? We good?
Uh-- Do you want me on that call?
- No. Okay.
Go on, Karl. What?
DOJ is gonna likely hit us with an historic fine.
GoJo's market cap has overtaken ours.
Okay.
Okay, yeah, but that-- that was already happening, so...
GoJo's board may be considering entertaining other options.
What-- What? - Yeah.
What the fuck? Okay, well, is he gonna pull the plug?
Or is GoJo-- Rome, do you know?
He swallowed the merger, but I don't know how much more he can fucking eat.
Okay, don't get all sweaty, Betty.
I'm gonna figure it out, and I'll drop you an email, okay?
Thanks. I'm gonna see Matsson,
get inside this.
Do you want me to come with you, Dad?
No. Stay here and play with your dick.
Uh-- I can come with you, Dad.
- It's not a-- - Oh, no, no, no. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
No, come on, Tumbledown.
He's your pal.
Let's go see Hans Christian Anderfuck
and see if he's been telling us fucking fairy tales.
♪ (“SUCCESSION” THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
You okay?
Good-looking woman, huh?
Yeah.
Yup.
So, what is it, son?
Are you scared of pussy?
Is it all screens or up the ass with you or what?
Jesus, no, God, Dad, can we not--
That's...
It's-- That was just being horrible, it's good.
- It's all good. - Yeah. Well, it's just fucking.
If you need to get straightened out,
get straightened out.
- Okay? - Yeah.
I don't wanna know.
Welcome.
Hey.
So nice to finally meet you in person, sir.
Likewise.
Thank you for coming.
Not at all.
So, what do you think?
Are we doing this fucking merger or not?
Wow. Just, uh, straight in there, huh?
Oh, yeah, well, you know, I'm old.
What do you want?
A bit of, "Oh, what a nice house you got here."
No, I like it. I get bored easily.
Yeah, everything is boring, isn't it?
Yeah, everything is pretty fucking boring.
Except this.
- Yeah, you got me interested. How interested?
Look, I don't wanna fuck around forever with this.
I mean, I've seen how your price is,
and I understand that your board is looking at all the options,
but if we stay tight,
this can work.
So...
shall we dance or what?
- Do you wanna sit down? Yeah. Uh-- Sure.
Um...
Uh, Zuckerberg once--
- Do you know Mark, by the way? - Uh-huh.
Well, he once told me that, um,
in ancient Rome, at one point,
they wanted to make all the slaves wear something
so they could identify them.
- Uh-huh. - It's just up here.
Um... Like a... What do you call these things?
Like a cloak or whatever.
But then they decided not to do it.
- And do you know why? Hmm?
Because they realized if all the slaves dressed the same,
they would see how many of them there were,
and they'd rise up and kill their masters.
Yeah, we don't, we don't love Mark.
So what? Does he have a kid in Malaysia
reading history for him now?
I don't know.
But the point is, if-- if we wanna survive,
you and I, then...
we need a hell of a lot of little folks
running around shitting us data,
you know, for the eyeballs, for the revenue, for the scale.
No offense, but I don't think you have the technology
or the orientation to get there.
And you don't have the content.
Well, maybe not, but...
we're flying like a fucking rocket ship,
and you're sinking like a lead balloon.
What's your churn like?
Yeah, we hear you have problems with binge and burn.
We got the good stuff.
Sure, sure, some of your content is pretty cool, I guess, but...
business-wise, it's time for you to beef up or sell out.
A-- And you can't become a tech player
because you and your business are just too fucking old.
Whoa, he is in great shape. You know who he's fucking?
I don't wanna be rude because you're a legend.
Honestly, you're... fucking bulletproof.
Tank man.
So, you want me to come in your sauna
and tell you what a pretty pecker you got?
I'm just really excited about the future.
So am I.
Yeah, but...
are you? Really?
Well, that's something you say, isn't it?
No, but I am excited.
But...
America...
I don't know.
When I arrived, there were these gentle giants
smelling of fucking gold and milk.
They could do anything.
Now look at them.
Fat as fuck,
scrawny on meth or yoga.
They pissed it all away.
I don't know.
Go on. Talk to me.
Well, I think we fit.
Your company and mine.
But, you know,
the street loves us. We're...
We're a strong buy.
We're up and we're staying there.
And you, you have this, uh...
this fine and all this other bullshit.
You're hurt...
or maybe you're tired.
So, I make sense as the person to take over.
Now, if-- if that's an option, if that's something you would consider,
then let's talk.
But if you wanna tell me to go fuck myself,
tell me to go fuck myself.
You're not fucking serious.
I would make everything nice for you.
I could pay you out, or if you want
control inside or outside of the assets you love,
that's cool.
I would want you to maintain prestige.
I'm not about making you small.
But you'd rule the roost.
It would be your board.
But I would structure it...
so fucking nice for you.
I notice you're not punching me in the nose.
Dad? Ah, it's okay, son.
- I don't know. What are you thinking?
I'm not telling you what I'm fucking thinking.
Well, I know what you're fucking thinking.
You're thinking every bit of me wants to tell this...
slab of gravlax
to go fuck himself,
except for the bit that knows that every word he says is true.
I don't know, I'm not sure I can swallow this.
If this is a family thing, I get it.
I-- I-- appreciate the anxiety.
And in terms of your son,
he would be essential to the integration process.
One hundred percent crucial.
Key element, the face of the family.
As for the rest, your top team,
I-- I'd be happy to assess each according to their abilities.
This is not happening.
Right.
No.
No, I see that. Understood.
It was worth asking, huh?
But listen, do you wanna...
Do you wanna stick around for a bit?
We can see if the old deal has a shape,
side snacks, maybe.
You have that Israeli AI operation
I might be interested in.
An asset swap sort of thing.
- Why not? Cool.
Roman. Uh... You'd better get back.
You know, your mom and all her brouhaha for tomorrow.
All right, yeah, sure thing, sure thing.
Don't wanna miss the old nuptials.
Wait, but yeah? You want...
Well, yeah, my mom's getting remarried to a bowl of porridge
and it's all terribly moving, so I should probably...
But thank you.
- See you over there, Pop. Mm.
Excuse me for one second.
Hey! So? Hey.
So? How was the Monopoly?
Did you have to pay some income tax for the novelty value?
- Merger of equals? - Merger of equals?
Well, is it happening or not? Rome?
Um-- I was not alerted
to this merger of equals possibility.
Mattson wants to de-platform guys like me,
round up the maverick thinkers into his digital gulag.
Um-- If you don't mind,
I'm a little bit churned up about my big brother,
so I can't really think about that shit right now.
Talk about it later.
- Hey. Hi.
- Hello. - Hello.
- So, what is this? - Just take a seat.
Come on.
Okay.
So...
we just wanted to get together
to let you know that we love you.
What?
Right? - I love you straight up.
I mean, I... suppose I don't want you to die, so...
yeah.
What is this? What's the angle?
No angle.
We're worried that you...
consciously or subconsciously tried to...
Are you trying to shut me down?
Um-- You kind of tried to kill yourself, dude,
and that's not cool.
- I fell off an inflatable. Okay.
Is this an intervention?
Why do you get to do an intervention on me?
Seriously?
Well, you need an intervention.
You need an intervention, you need an intervention.
Yeah, totally, yeah, yeah,
but you're kind of the top of the pile right now.
We'll do me tomorrow. Yeah?
Yeah, suicides jump the line.
- I fell off my fucking floatie. You're an addict.
You're addicted to booze and to drugs
and relationships and sex and work and the family drama.
No, sorry, no, I mean, look-- look who's fucking here.
I-- I-- I don't see it.
You, you don't have any standing.
So, listen, you guys can take this little committee
of public fucking safety and fuck off.
You need to stop trying to kill Pop.
Okay? You're selfish,
you're self- centered-- - Connor, can-- Just--
What? - Just...
I'm not allowed to say my piece?
No, you can, just... - No, it's...
Let me lead, yeah?
Okay. Okay, look.
I hear you.
But I just-- I-- I feel...
like...
everything I've done...
has been with good intentions,
and I-- I do think this is actually about...
all of you and your shit more than me.
It-- It sounds like I'm-- I'm-- I'm...
being defensive, but I'm not.
I'm-- I'm-- I'm saying I'm hearing you.
Mm-hmm?
But it's like, do you have any idea...
how it feels...
as the eldest son
to be...
you know, promised something and then...
you know...
- just have it taken? - Yeah.
- Sure, man. - I'm the eldest son.
What was that?
I am the eldest son.
Well, yeah, obviously, Con, but you know what he means.
I am the eldest son!
And no one told me about this fucking merger of fucking equals.
And what if I wanna take over?
- Because I am the eldest son! All right.
Eas-- Easy, Con.
Let's-- Okay. Okay. - I'm the eldest son! I'm the eldest son!
And I must be considered,
and I need to be taken into account.
Con, we're-- we're talking about...
- what I actually lost. Shut up.
What, you're hurt?
I didn't see Pop for three years,
but your spoon wasn't shiny enough,
huh?
Well, it is not all about you.
- I thought you loved me. Asshole!
I do love you. I love all three of you pricks,
but what do I get from you chumps but chump change?
Fucking chump change. Well, fuck you.
I'm here for your mom's wedding, and I proposed to my fiancée.
And no one...
has said congratulations.
No one.
But I am...
the eldest son of our father.
I am.
Me.
He is him.
Fuck off!
No, no, it's the other one.
It's coming, it's coming for you.
- You okay, Con? Yeah, yeah.
Just a little tired.
Sorry about the tossing and turning,
I just couldn't get the AC right, you know?
The AC. Yeah. Sure.
Plus, my family hates me.
I'm gonna lose ATN to a goddamn Swede,
so my campaign is fucked, and you're gonna leave me.
And I love you.
So, yeah.
Yeah, that and the AC.
Come on!
- Con? - What?
You're a nice man.
Right. Thanks.
You know what?
Fuck it.
- Fuck it? Fuck it.
As-- As in?
Fuck it!
Come on. How bad can it be? Right?
- Really? - Yeah, why not?
You know, we'll have fun.
Fuck it, right?
Right?
- Hell yeah.
Fuck it!
Mr. Roy?
That's your car.
Fuck it, huh? Fuck it!
Fuck it forever!
- Hi. Hi, Karl. How you doing?
How's the Wi-Fi?
Uh-- I sacrificed a few goats, so it seems to be working.
Great. Rural Tuscany, real business hub.
How are his spirits?
Like his, uh... How's his blood sugar?
Yeah. He's amazing, as always.
Oh, yeah, of course. Powerhouse. Remarkable.
Have you seen Dad?
Hmm? Is he coming?
Is Dad coming, Rome? Do you know?
- Is the deal good? - Yeah. All will be revealed.
- All will be revealed.
The fuck does that mean?
Who made you the Wizard of Fuck?
Um...
You don't know jack shit, do you?
Do you not think one last check with Mom?
Rome, we're about to go in.
Right. It's just... I don't know if he's, you know, a hernia.
Hey, Peter. Hi.
Yeah. Good luck.
You're not sure if he's the one?
I'm worried about the prenup, okay?
She has a prenup.
- She had her-- Yes! - She does?
She had her lawyer look at it because she wants to keep the--
the London flat that Dad gave her.
Well, what if he poisons her?
What if he pushes her down the stairs
to get this flat he so desires?
Oh, yeah. And what if, worse,
he fucks her with his dick?
Fucks her so good that she dies?
How you doing, children?
Oh-- Oh, Tom. Hey, Greg.
Do you mind chatting with Comfrey?
I wanna check in on the princess.
"The princess" now? I thought she was a contessa.
Yeah, but I guess through her dad,
she's, like, eighth in line for the throne of Luxembourg?
Eighth in line?
Greg, you marry her, you're a plane crash away
from becoming Europe's weirdest king!
Don't be silly.
Dude, you off a couple of hemophiliacs
and you'll be the king of Luxembourg.
You'd sound like a fancy cookie.
It's actually a Grand Duchy.
It's something to do with the Congress of Vienna.
It's, I guess, really complicated.
She doesn't like to talk about it,
although we do talk about it quite a bit.
Um...
Oh, see. Now?
- Roman! - Get in there, Greg.
If Roman marries her, he'll invade France.
Hold on.
Yeah, yeah.
- I'll send your regrets. - Hmm.
Kerry, I won't eat down there,
I will take my omelet in my room, on my return.
- Of course. I'll let them know. - Thank you.
Sorry. Sorry.
I didn't delay things, did I?
No worries, Kendall.
- We're just missing a couple of people, actually. - Good of you to come.
You don't know where, um-- Sorry.
- You don't know where, uh... - Peter, I think you'd better face it
that Logan is not gonna make it.
You might have to just make do with me. Sorry.
- How about that?
Darling.
- Can you bear it? - Of course.
- Hey. - Hmm?
- Rome. - Yeah?
- I have an idea. - Mm-hmm?
When they come past, you should tell Mom that you love her.
Yeah, fuck off.
No, how romantic would it be?
Imagine that, if you could marry Mommy
- on her wedding day? Yeah, yeah.
Or tell them a reason that they can't be married.
Because she's the only one
who makes her son's pee-pee go boom boom.
Mm-hmm?
Welcome family, friends, and loved ones.
We are gathered here today in the face of this company
for the wedding of Peter Timothy Munga Munion
and Caroline Alexandra Helena St. John Collingwood.
- Oh, she's really feeling it, huh?
- I love weddings. - Me, too.
...the formal commitment they make to one another...
- Jesus, what is she on? - Yeah.
- Fucking kill me now.
Okay. Uh-- Hi.
Uh-- My mom has...
...has asked me to say a few words.
Just a second.
And the first words that came to mind were, uh,
"Shit." "No." "What?" "Bitch."
And, uh...
other words like "totally" and "unprepared."
Right.
So, what can I say about my mom?
Well...
she's been a constant in my life.
Constant pain in the...
Eh...
- But I love her anyway...
...which I guess is testament to...
what a remarkable and...
...complicated and interesting person that she is.
And I have no doubt, Peter, that you will never be bored
in the brief time that you're married.
But in all seriousness, there's no one like my mom.
And you're a lucky guy.
And I am jealous of the time that you get to spend with her.
I hope that your marriage
is as rich and happy, rewarding, and fulfilling as mine.
So, here's to, uh, the bride and groom.
- The bride and groom! The bride and groom!
-♪ ♪
Do you think, uh...
Do you think she knows something?
Mm. I mean...
what if it's all fallen apart?
Yeah? Dad's back,
- so why isn't he here? Oh, relax.
It's, uh-- It's cool beans.
Cool beans?
Since when do you say "cool beans"?
You don't have a fucking clue, do you?
Hmm. Hmm. - Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey. Hi.
Hey, uh, listen, I think we should, uh,
- say sorry for-- No, doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
- Forget about it. Mm-hmm. Forgotten.
Okay. Yeah.
So, guess who's gonna get married
to the greatest gal in the world.
No. - Oh. She said yes?
Wow, you finally ground her down, huh?
Congrats, man.
Yeah. And, um, also, Willa's been talking to Kerry.
Yeah. She know where Dad is?
Uh-uh, she's sandbagging, but do you know what this is?
That is another dried penis
from one of the great men of history, correct?
No. Maca root.
For Dad's smoothie.
Mm-hmm?
Why is Kerry sandbagging?
He's working on his baby batter.
- What's that? - Maca root. Almond butter.
Dad's putting together
a more adhesive and potent gloop.
Working on his fucking--
- his jism? Are you-- Yes!
- Are you fucking with me right now? No!
What? - Look at all the walnuts he's been munching.
He's gonna be rocking sperms like a little catfish.
- Oh, my fuck.
- Dad's scrambling the fighters. Yeah.
- With Maca root. - No. Fucking-- Come on.
Not good. No, you don't tangle with the root
unless you're firing up the siege engines.
Uh. - Jesus.
- I feel ill. Do you?
I guess he really doesn't rate you guys, huh?
- Thanks. Anyway,
- thought I'd tell ya. - Thank you. Appreciate it.
Okay. Well, we need a plan to kill this baby.
Uh... Yeah.
Wow. Finally, you found a worthy adversary.
Hey. What's going on?
Uh... Nothing.
Just Dad cranking up the trebuchet.
What? - Trying for a baby.
- What? - Mm.
Maybe that's what he's doing right now.
Yeah. Maybe.
He's in the spawn chamber,
issuing his hell seed. Sure. I could see it.
Well, maybe we should get cracking? Space race?
What? You two?
- Should we say? - No, no, no, no, no.
- I know for a fact... Babe, stop.
...that she cannot get pregnant. Because if she could,
she would have-- That would've happened by now.
She has had a lot of sex with a lot of men.
We may be freezing.
- Oh, you may be freezing? - Yeah.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
You know why she's making you wait, right?
She's gonna make you carry it.
Uh-huh. Very funny. - Yeah.
You're gonna have to poop out your own baby
and then squeeze your little Tommy tits
for man milk.
Hey. Okay. Thank you very--
I just heard that Larry Vansitart's PJ
landed at La Dante
and that he's headed to Lake Maggiore.
What? - Yeah.
Larry Vansitart?
With Matsson? That means financing.
Why would Matsson--
Yeah. Why would Matsson need financing for an all-stock deal?
I'm trying to get a fix.
And Greg has been contacted by some assistants.
- Greg has? Greg.
Yeah. So let's split up and pool, okay?
- Okay. All right. - Rome?
Yeah? - You're supposed to be inside track on this.
This could be any number of things. I think it's fine.
I'm gonna hit Kerry. Could you, um, talk to Marcia, maybe?
Yeah. Sure. I'll scale the...
north face of the fucking Eiger.
Jesus fuck.
I mean, I guess I tried to feel better
by giving a lot of money to...
- environmental charities. - Oh, yeah?
Which-- Or, like, to--
to-- Not Greenpeace?
No. Friends of the Earth.
Okay. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
- Mm-hmm. - No, I, uh--
I have some beef with Greenpeace.
Uh-- Long story, but they're bad.
Yeah. One guy in Greenland just cashing checks
and eating penguins
and stomping cigarettes out on glaciers.
Feel free to cut him down dead, by the way.
We are actually having an interesting talk.
Yeah, I'm sure you are. Um...
He's what's called in our land an irrelevant pauper,
and you don't need to listen
- to the pauper. Oh.
It's not for your royal ears.
- No. No. No. De no. No-de-no?
No-de-no, my friend.
- He's widely known, uh... - I'm widely known?
I think you'd agree, Roman, that you're s-- a self-admitted,
uh...
Sorry, I don't know how you'd say this in your language,
but, uh-- but a, uh... uh...
a sexual pervert.
You're an... Right?
-...interesting family. Mm-hmm.
Funny guy.
All jokes aside,
uh, I heard that you may have been getting some tremors
on the assistant loop. This true?
Yeah. Uh...
A call went out on LackeySlack
because there are a number of advisors
in town from LionTree, apparently.
And they don't like the feel of the...
hard Italian pillows?
So-- But that's a-- It's a private chat, so--
Yeah, shut up, all right. Thank you.
- Hey. Excuse me. Uh... Hey.
What did you say to Gerri just now?
Um... Nothing.
Nothing?
And, uh, why are you lying?
Did he tell you to lie?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Are you trying to have a baby with my Dad?
Because that's an incredibly stupid idea.
- Hey. - It'll be born old,
attached to a walker.
So, uh, there's a bunch of new M&A advisors in Chianciano.
And I think Karl and Frank are in Europe.
Uh-- What the fuck, Rome? What is--
Are we being fucked?
Mm-hmm. - Karl?
Euro ring.
Hey, Karl, how you doing? Where are you, man?
At the office? In your office?
Great, well, I'll leave you to get on with your office job,
then, you motherfucker.
- Marcia? Anything? Uh-- No.
She's throwing out bullshit.
Did you see Gerri?
- What the fuck. Before? Uh-huh. Yeah.
- This is ugly, Rome. - Mm-hmm.
- Um-- So... What?
I should probably say, in terms of the meeting, um,
Matsson did float, ju-- as an idea,
that maybe they'd buy us.
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
And what did Dad say?
Fuck off!
Mm-hmm? But he stuck around?
He stuck around, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
- Why the fuck didn't you tell me this earlier? - Yeah.
Hey. Hey, Ken.
Uh-- We might need to talk. Company stuff.
I don't-- I'm not interested, Shiv.
Okay. Yeah, sure.
But this is fucking important, okay?
Five minutes, please.
Just-- We need your line to Frank or Stewy maybe.
Kendall, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important.
Come on.
Hurry the fuck up!
Okay. Well, Dad is doing us dirty, right?
Can you not make it a thing right away, okay?
We actually don't-- We don't know yet.
Matsson pitched to Dad the idea
of them eating us,
but I think he was flying a kite.
Dad kind of shut it down.
Okay, he "kind of" shut it down?
Because a moment ago, he told him to fuck off!
Okay. Well, I didn't keep track of the exact number
of expletives he used, Siobhan, okay?
I'm not a fuckometer.
Okay, well, look, Larry Vansitart is in Switzerland with Matsson,
so he's looking for financing.
Dad is huddled with Karl and Frank.
Mm-hmm? - Our market caps have tipped.
The local town's been bought out by a new set of advisors.
Something has flipped!
Yeah. Yeah. But...
Dad would never sell, would he?
Hey, asshole, Dad would never sell, right?
- I don't know. I mean, would he?
And if he did, would we get-- I don't know, uh...
Would we get fucking protection?
Can you guys just do this without me?
Yeah? I ca-- I-- I don't wanna get into it.
Wait a minute, Ken. I'm sorry. Ken?
Do you have an angle on this? Are you speaking with Matsson?
Uh-- Laird has called me, so what's that?
Oh. Shit.
Ken? Can we talk?
Shiv, I'm not here.
Hey, buddy.
Hey. You okay?
There's something really wrong with me, Shiv.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
Uh...
Well, it's okay. It's...
I'm-- I'm just, uh--
I'm not feeling very connected...
to my children...
or my endeavors right now.
And, uh, I can't get one thing right with another, you know?
Uh...
Uh, I'm-- I'm...
I don't know what happened. I tried to do something.
I tr-- I-- I really-- I tried...
I tried.
I know, man.
- I know, you fucked it.
Fuck you.
That's what happened, yeah.
I took a shot.
But it's like...
- it didn't matter. But... - It's just business, okay?
Like...
we're all fucked. Everything just sort of got...
mixed up.
I thought I had an out. I could see it, I could...
I could see the way markers
and I thought I could--
Out of all our shit, I thought I...
I thought I could take us all out if it. I...
I did-- I did try.
Mm-hmm.
But... I don't know.
I'm not a good person.
Well, whatever, you're fine.
I'm-- I'm bad.
Come on.
Lighten up, glum-glum.
I killed a kid.
Hmm?
- What? - I killed a kid.
And...
yeah, they're-- they're coming for me.
They're gonna come for me.
Is this... Uh-- Is this real?
What the fuck?
- At your wedding. What?
Horse shit.
The kid.
That kid.
Uh-- You mean the...
waiter kid? The...
I was high, and I was looking for...
to score and I was drunk,
I was fucked up, and I drove.
And he saw something and he snatched at the wheel,
and we went into the water.
And then I left him in there and ran.
- Okay. Uh...
Let's-- We gotta get you-- Come on.
It's fucking lonely.
Hey.
I'm all apart.
I mean, if it pleases the court...
...it sounds like you didn't kill him.
It sounds to me like he killed him.
Rome, I'm a piece of shit, man.
But...
the road and the water killed him?
That's what it sounds like.
Nah, man. Don't.
No, seriously. I mean,
you crashed, and then what? You did-- You ran?
No. No. I mean...
I tried to get him.
You did? Okay. See?
That's...
I-- I dived a few times.
This sounds like the story of a hero to me.
I would've been straight out of there.
Serious, I would've been out of that water like a...
-...tabby cat out of a bath.
Don't, man.
Don't.
Don't, man, I'm a-- I'm a killer.
Fuck you.
Bullshit. Come on. At worst, you're...
you're an irresponsibler, okay?
You're bigging yourself up.
Yeah?
I don't know, you guys.
I don't know.
I'm blown into a million pieces.
Okay, we gotta get you out of here.
What-- Where do we go?
Bring him back to the chapel,
stuff him in a confessional? That'll fix it.
Ah...
Oh, shit.
Oh. Laird's called me back.
- Oh, yeah? - Uh-- Yeah. Just one minute.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Take that call.
Leave me here with all the feelings. Thank you.
Hey, Laird. Go on. What's up?
I mean, who hasn't clipped the odd kid
- with a Porsche, am I right?
I mean, it's like a rite of passage.
I've killed a kid too, big deal.
Shiv!
- You've killed a kid, right? - Uh-- Yeah.
Man, you fucked my wedding in so many ways.
I'm sorry.
You know, one waiter down, that makes sense. It...
...took me forever to get a fucking drink at her wedding.
- Please, man. - Okay, yeah.
I ca-- I can't...
You're right. I'm a--
I guess I'm just trying to say, like,
who's the real victim here?
I waited three quarters of an hour for a gin and tonic.
Okay.
Uh... Okay.
- Sorry to...
...say this, Ken, but confirmed.
Laird is inside the deal,
but he's been cucked out of the lead, so he's bitter and bleating.
GoJo buys Waystar.
They pay a premium, Dad cashes out,
cash and stock, and he keeps maybe a title,
uh, but...
and takes a few assets,
but it's Matsson's fucking board.
Can we trust that? Is that real?
Kendall, I know this isn't ideal,
but we have to talk about this now.
Look, I'll call the car. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
Where do you wanna wait?
Uh-- Can I-- Can I be with you guys?
Yeah. Of course. Okay.
Okay, so...
we gotta go stop this.
- Mm-hmm. What the fuck?
Yeah.
So, we go see him, and we tell him we just won't have it, right?
Um...
Rome.
Okay.
This is rumors,
so I will need to talk to him directly, just me.
Do you think you're close to him?
You're just his little rat fucker.
I'm just saying, as a matter of fact,
that Dad and I have been working closely lately
and I don't wanna go in too aggressive.
I'm not busting in there crying "Team Shiv," okay?
We don't know how this is gonna play out just yet.
You think dad is protecting you? Hmm?
No. We let Matsson take control, that is Dad slamming the door.
It means that he doesn't ever think that we will,
can, or should take over.
I just don't think we should be aggressive.
I mean, can we even actually stop him?
Yes.
A change of control
needs a super majority in the holding company.
Mom got us that in the divorce. He'd need us on board.
Right. Well...
I'm not sure I wanna pull out a move like that.
Maybe I just stick with what I got.
Which is what?
- Hard drive full of dick pics? Nice.
Which is...
I think with dad pulling the strings...
Where do you think we fit on Matsson's new org chart, Rome?
He'll Romanov you and take you to the cellar and that's that.
Rome, you know dad is never gonna choose you
because he thinks there's something wrong with you.
I'm sorry, but...
maybe it's time that we said these things to each other
instead of just talking it all out to Vanity Fair.
And the holding company move.
If we do that, that's real?
He can't sanction a deal without us,
that's legal fact.
Block him and he's fucked.
Okay, so...
...time to rip off the Band-Aid.
We just-- We push him out.
We get him on his own, and we say "urinary tract,"
we say "shareholder meeting."
Right, he nearly fucking croaked at Josh's.
Yeah, he's out of it. He's fucking a 20-year-old
and he's planning for babies in jars.
You know, he's gone loopy, and he-- he's tried to sell the shop.
So, I mean, even just fucking his assistant.
We tell the board that, he's toast.
We push him out.
Full coup.
Yeah. Slide him out.
Say Ken, chair?
Uh...
You or me, Rome, CEO?
And the other one takes...
whatever they want, like studio, movies, TV...
The streamer, but, you know, equal.
Okay, but really equal.
Really equal. If we do this,
I don't want you two cunts trying to big-brother me
out of my fucking piece, okay?
No, we can fight it out. It'll-- It'll be fun.
That will be fun.
We fucking take Mussolini away in a van to the hospital
take over the radio stations.
Oh, fuck.
I do think that,
even though this literally makes me wanna vomit
and I wanna kill you both every day
and it's all gonna end horribly,
I do think that we...
Puke!
...could make a pretty good team.
So, how do we feel about killing Dad?
Mixed feelings?
- Pass me the fucking shotgun. Okay.
Rome, you in?
Okay. Fuck. Okay.
Well, Con, this is me layering you in.
But I can't talk about this right now
because it's complicated and I don't have time.
And also you're a little bit slow.
Yeah, thanks for talking.
I just wanna triple-check the holding company by-law shit.
veto on the change of control.
It's from the divorce, so stop that,
and the deal collapses, he's impotent.
We're gonna force him out.
Fuck, okay. Uh-huh.
And where do I fit in, Shiv?
Well, high up, Tom, I don't know. It--
We'll figure it out, though. There's a lot going on.
No, sure, sure, okay.
Uh-- But-- But-- But-- But, uh, high?
But, Tom, once we do it, right away,
we're gonna offer him the medical card,
secure the imperial guard,
tell him that he needs to take some rest,
and, sourced to us kids,
we'll get ATN to confirm.
Say like, uh, "Founder Logan Roy Ailing,"
uh, "Prayers for the big man.
Thinking of taking a step back".
So, we can cite you as sources?
- Yeah? - Yeah. And we'll stand it up.
Get ready, okay?
Jesus. Okay.
Good luck.
- Bye. Mm-hmm.
He's in? - Yeah.
Hey, Tommy.
-
Hey.
Say hello to someone
who could be Logan's ex-wife's
step-cousin-in-law and heir apparent
to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.
Twelve times removed or some shit.
And potential count of somewhere
and legitimate claimant to the dormant throne of Italy.
What, Greg?
Me and the contessa.
We're hitting it off.
She's having an existential crisis
about her personal branding
and I'm right in there to wheedle away.
What about...
Comfrey? - Yeah.
Comfrey might be helping her refresh her personal branding.
And I-- I don't actually think she's that into me.
We're separate-bedding.
It's a guilt-free switch-up.
Case closed.
Slam it shut.
The verdict is love, Your Honor.
Greg, listen.
What's up?
So...
things may be in motion.
As in...
- Is anyone going to jail? No.
No. So, um...
do you wanna come with me?
Sporus?
Can I ask for a little more information?
No.
Don't think so.
I might need you as my attack dog.
Right. - Like, um, a Greg-weiler.
Hmm.
Tom's attack dog.
Nice.
Uh-- I mean,
I have Brightstar Buffalo in my hip pocket,
I'm kind of a big deal, so...
You fucked yourself before congress, Greg.
That-- That's your opinion.
"I don't recall, Your Honor, I don't recall--"
You're a fucking joke, man.
Who has ever looked after you in this fucking family, huh?
All right, uh, well, in terms of...
...where I could be...
getting to if I were to come with?
You could be heading away from the endless middle
and towards the bottom of the top.
The bottom of the top?
Um-- Could I get my own...
my own, like--
- Your own Greg? Yeah.
You can have 20.
Listen, I-- I have things to do.
Um...
Do you want a deal with the devil?
Well...
What am I gonna do with a soul anyways?
- Souls are boring.
- Boo, souls.
Of course.
- Okay. - Okay.
- All right. - All right.
Maybe he's napping.
Yeah, then worse to wake him up.
- We're good? - Yeah, yeah.
I'm good. You good, Rome?
Yeah.
You can handle this?
Been basically planning it since we were four.
What if dad flutters his eyelids at you, Rome?
You gonna melt?
Me? No.
As long as you guys don't go water pistols in Bali.
Water pistols in Bali?
Yeah, water pistols in Bali.
When we were all gonna go squirt Dad under the canopy?
I went in, and you fucks left me for dead?
I don't recall.
That's convenient.
Hey, Dad!
Shiv Roy. We're going in.
Okay, yeah, excuse me, lawyery man, may I see that?
Uh, no.
Okay, uh, where's my dad? Logan? Logan Roy?
I don't know, I haven't seen him.
Oh, you haven't seen him. That's convenient.
He hasn't seen him.
Guys.
Well, look who it is.
Hey, we're going in.
Oh.
Send them in!
Okay, um...
- Hey. Hey!
Hello. Hello.
- What's all this, then? Hi. Hi everyone. Hi.
Hey, Karl. Hi.
Uh-- We're just feeling a little out of the loop, Dad.
Oh, of course. Things have moved very fast.
Come in, come in, come in.
Um...
Yeah, we might be wrong,
but we're, uh,
we're hearing rumors about GoJo.
Yeah, that, uh,
we might be the target now.
Is that right, Dad?
Okay. I've been looking at some options.
Right. We might be affected, our positions,
so we wanted to get some clarity.
Absolutely. But do you mind not with him in here
giving me the fucking doggy-evils?
Can you take him out, Romulus?
I'll fill in your sister and give you the angles.
I don't trust him.
Roman?
You can tell us together, Dad.
I thought we had this figured out.
Yeah. It just might be better, you know, if...
we all hear.
Okay.
So, the market capitalizations of our firms
have been on the move.
Ours is a declining business.
There's a wave of consolidations happening
that mean this is the optimal moment, in my opinion,
uh, to make a deal
with a serious tech operation
like GoJo.
And that's what I've been exploring, okay?
Okay, so, I would say, uh, on behalf of all of us,
uh, can you ease up and let us in,
stop this until we see exactly how we're impacted?
No, it has to be now.
- Why? - Because I feel it in my bones.
Oh, wow, no arguing with that, huh?
End of the day, that's all I fucking got.
Well, you know that's bullshit.
Look, this is the best moment to sell.
If I don't do the best deal at any given point,
what's the point of anything?
I don't get out, I leave five billion on the table.
Come on, Dad!
What are you gonna do with the five bil? Huh?
Put it on your pile with all your other fucking bil?
Mm-hmm. Probably. Yeah.
And what are we supposed to do?
Make your own fucking pile.
I know this is a readjustment,
but our blood's in the water and I need to make moves fast
in order to control the situation and get myself
and you...
...assurances for the future.
Dad, once Matsson is calling the shots, we're fucked.
No, nah, he rates you.
And this is an opportunity for you kids
to get an education...
in real life.
With you at the top, we can take over,
but without you, we're fucked.
Come on, Roman.
Let's get away from these fucking Jacobins.
I've got you. Come on, let's discuss.
Hey, Dad, I-- I know what he said,
I was there, but, um,
really, with Matsson calling the shots,
we're-- we're strung up in the town square.
No!
He rates you!
You have my word.
This is an opportunity, son.
A bit of fucking grit.
Adversity, like me.
You can trust me.
You can't trust him.
Um...
We're here to say, the three of us,
to ask and to say
do not do this, please.
And what if I decide I can't listen to you?
We can stop you,
and we will stop you. Blow this up.
You need our vote for a change of control.
Yeah. You need all of us.
You need a super majority, and we can kill it.
And we will.
You're playing toy fucking soldiers!
Go on!
Fuck off!
I have you beat!
You f-- morons!
Well, no, because you need a super majority--
Oh, well, no!
Because you need a super majority to...
Uh-- Is she still on?
It's all done.
Can we get her back on?
Dad, what is this?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Hello.
Hello? Yeah. Logan?
Caroline, you're on
with Roman, Kendall, and Siobhan.
- Hi, Mom. - Mom?
All right, well, I don't necessarily wanna do
anymore tonight, Logan.
Your mother and I have been reviewing the terms of the...
divorce agreement.
Mom, you fucked us.
And we've agreed
that the arrangements were a little...
- antiquated. - Oh, fuck, Mom, he got to you.
Oh, seriously, Mom, already?
- What the fuck did you... Look,
I can't get into it, all right? I...
I think everything will be fine.
Rex Hendon's dealing with it all.
Mom, you just slit our throats.
Please don't be angry. I...
I think this is for the best.
Peter's so excited.
Oh, is he? Peter's excited. Great.
I'm not sure it's been good for you, all the, you know.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I love you all. Bye.
Well, we just walked in on Mom and Dad fucking us.
Thank you, Caroline.
Dad...
- please? - Please?
Please.
The seat sniffer gets a fucking leg up.
That's a deal.
What have you got in your fucking hand?
What have I got?
I don't know, fucking...
love?
Love?
You come for me...
with love?
You bust in here, guns in hand,
and now you find they've turned to fucking sausages.
You talk about love?
You should have trusted me.
- Dad, why? - Why?
Because it works.
I fucking win.
Oh, go on, go on. Fuck off.
You nosy fucking pedestrians.
Dad. Hey.
Mr. Roy. Mr. Roy. Mr. Roy, hold on a second.
- I need you to sign... - Who the fuck told him?
Who told him that we were coming?
Gerri, Gerri, Gerri, Gerri!
He's not well.
You can help us, right? You can help us stop him?
Well, I'm focused on...
whatever outcome best serves the financial interest
of the shareholders of the company.
But it doesn't serve my interests.
How does it serve my interests?
- Later. Okay.
Ah...
Hey, Shiv.
You okay?
- Hey. Hey.
Yeah. Uh...
You okay?
Yeah.
- What's going on? - Mom fucked us.
What?
Hey.