Okay.
Yeah, everything...
everything seems nailed down for tomorrow.
How you feelin'?
Why does everyone ask how I'm feeling?
I'm sellin'. My decision.
I'm feeling great.
And yes, yes, axe that chopper.
- They can fuckin' walk. - Right. Absolutely.
Office?
ATN.
Surprise visit?
Happy Christmas, you clock-watching fucks.
That may be true, but NATO has a cultural weight that represents...
So many olds. Where are the hotties?
Yeah, I mean, this needs the living shit kicked out of it.
A show about politics called Inside Baseball.
- What? - Yeah, how fucking confusing
- is that? - You hear that?
Connor.
"Have we left yet?" Eyeballs emoji.
Fingers crossed emoji and helicopter emoji.
- We're comin'. - This is unbelievable.
Our PGN is just gonna crush this.
Not quite yours yet.
Business retreat, Telly. PGN brainstorm.
Sunday, Monday programming, dooky.
Tuesday, Wednesday programming, dooky.
Friday, Saturday programming, massive stinky dog dooky...
I gotta say, the upside is huge if we just broaden out
and stop over-indexing to college professors, right?
Sorry, I just can't seem to tear my eyes away from the bald man
talking about NATO.
I have a boner.
So, my floaty kinda semi-pitch would be hardcore international news.
From "global" global to hyperlocal.
Jess, would you watch that?
- Yeah, if it was on, totally. - Like, maybe a focus on Africa.
Every day, just, "What is happening in Africa?"
The Maghreb, Sub-Saharan East, Sub-Saharan West.
I would watch that shit.
- You would not watch that shit. - I would.
No, I mean, like, that sounds like Homework the Show.
No, the point is its global reach.
It's a... it's a network that teaches you how to watch it.
Or shove all your Farm Report, Melatonin News Hour info dumps
- into daytime. - Yeah?
Primetime, we go full Clockwork Orange, you know?
- Hey. - Yeah.
So, unfortunately, Gretchen Yung is conflicted out.
Really? With Tom?
He went with Gretchen?
Okay, who's in... who's in second position?
Crowley.
Okay. Yeah, fine.
I contacted his office. He's also conflicted out.
And Kohlmeyer...
and Bulloch and... and Camden?
Yeah, yeah. Conflicted out.
It's weird.
Okay, great. I'll call you back.
Okay, so, have we tied up all five now?
- Yep. - And they're all the ones
that Mr. Roy's office gave us?
Yep.
- Hey, buddy. - Hey...
So... So, Logan's in.
Logan's in? What, upstairs? In the sales meeting?
No, he's on the floor, Tom.
He's on the floor?
Wait, explain to me exactly what he's doing with his body.
- And his face. - I don't know. He's...
just moseying.
Terrifyingly moseying.
He's wearing sunglasses inside.
It looks like if... if Santa Claus was a hitman.
Okay...
Hold on. Hold steady. I'm coming in.
Okay, Sergio, hold the car.
Hold the car. Okay. Cancel the rest of my afternoon.
- Hey. - Hey, Tom.
So, all the top attorneys are conflicted out.
Yeah? Dad teach you that? It's a fuckin' nice move.
Wow, does he wanna marry you now?
I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Oh, yeah, okay.
So, you've met with or retained every usable divorce lawyer in New York
just to fuck with me?
I don't know, Shiv, I think maybe Sara made a mistake. I...
You think I don't recognize my own dad's playbook?
- Fuck you, Tom. - Shiv.
I did... I did not intend for this to be aggressive
but I've seen what your family can do in these situations
and I want it to be amicable.
I am sure we can figure it out.
Yeah. Okay.
You wanna be my dad's little bitch boy?
Why don't you deliver him a message, bitch boy?
Tell him to fuck off and stay out of my life.
Hey, so, what's happened? What's happening?
Okay, so, he's still just kinda walking around
but with the slight sense that he might kill someone.
It's like Jaws.
If... If everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.
- Yeah. - So...
- he did one big shout. - Right.
He does not like the countdown-to-election chyrons.
He hates the new font.
It's too small, it's too ingratiating.
It's a really bad vibe.
- What... What is this, do you think? - I don't know.
Maybe he just wants to play your sex tape
on late night, Greg.
Well, the future starts now.
Greg, you know, once the board rubberstamps
and once the regulators nod the deal through
three, four months, Waystar's gone
and this will be home.
So, he's gonna be here all the time?
- Yeah. Yep, yep. - In person?
Hangin' around, like the threat of nuclear war.
- Here we go. Hey, hey. - Go get him.
Hey, sir. Mr. Boss Man.
One email.
Fucking Stakhanovites in here.
Please, don't exhaust yourself.
What do you think of the election refit?
Oh, yeah. Pretty fuckin' penny.
It's an aircraft hangar.
What's the air-con bill?
Well, yeah, Cyd really loves the sense of space.
It's certainly interesting.
Where is she?
Cyd? Oh, she doesn't tend to stay late when it's opera season.
Oh, hey, Cyd.
Oh, boss. I didn't see you.
I was busy.
But I can see that my social secretary's
been looking after you.
Have you watched the tape?
Tom?
Kerry's tape. Have you watched it?
What do you think?
Of Kerry?
What do I think of her audition?
- To be an anchor? - Yes.
Well, did you...
What... What do you think, Loge?
Oh, no...
You go first.
Well, I think...
I think I liked it.
I mean, she's got something.
Oh, she really does.
Yeah, should we...
Thinking of giving her a slot?
Because I... I personally think
that... that could be a very interesting idea.
- Right? - I'm keeping out.
She's my assistant.
It would be very unprofessional of me to get involved.
Whatever you two geniuses think.
Now, I wanna talk to them, a little speech.
Somewhere down here in the middle.
Man and the people.
Good evening, I'm Kerry Castellabate
- and these are our top stories. - Doing great so far.
You look stupid.
Missouri State Police...
Missouri State Police
- have issued an Amber Alert... - Oh, my goodness.
As two children are believed to have been abducted.
They were last seen outside the school gates
waiting for their mother to collect them.
- And then sudden smile. - Police are appealing for anyone...
"Must act natural to fool the humans."
And a new medical study has found...
She is doing the shit out of this news.
Can extend your life up to five years
- while three cups can reduce... - Man, Dad was a god.
And tomorrow, he's selling the empire to a 4chan Swede
and dishing out jobs for blowies.
- Shiv? - Hey, Sandi. Hi.
I hope you don't mind.
I was gonna try and set something
but I thought I'd just call 'cause it's kind of urgent.
Hope that's okay.
Yeah. No, of course. What's up?
Is it about Connor's wedding? Because that was such a regretful no.
No... This is completely different.
It's... just about our chat and your pitch.
You know, I was just thinking maybe I was a little hasty.
Yeah.
And do your siblings feel the same or still no?
Well, no, I haven't had a chance to talk to them about it yet
but I'm gonna bounce it around, see if I can't persuade them
because, you know, I agree.
There's a... There's a lot of upside there
to get a little more money.
Well, I mean, obviously, I agree
but the board meeting is tomorrow, Shiv.
Well, look, can I just...
Can I put you on alert?
Just in case there is room for discussion there
and, again, just to say that this is a live issue for me.
You know, maybe...
maybe we don't just wave this through.
Maybe... Maybe it pisses off my dad, but maybe that's okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah. Absolutely.
Maybe we can circle back. Is that okay, Sandi?
And a USA Today...
- So good, so good. - Again...
Oh, what? Kiki!
- One more. - Again.
One more.
- Press the button. - Good evening.
- Uno mas. - I'm Kerry Castellabate...
If he puts this on air, this is, like, easily packaged
as symptomatic total loss of judgment and control.
- Guys, they're actually... - Yeah, I know, but this...
- Transpo's on the tarmac. - Transpo's...
It's waiting to take you to Connor's rehearsal.
- He's texting me. - This is special. This is...
- Yeah. - This is special.
I...
I prefer something a little more stable.
Yeah. No, there's no need for a song and dance.
Let's keep it cheap and cheerful.
- Tom. - Yeah?
Are you gonna do a little intro for me?
Sprinkle a little sugar?
- Up... Up there? - Yeah.
Of course.
On the... Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Okay, okay.
Hey, guys. Hey, hi.
Just wanna say hi.
Come on over.
Yeah, it's been a tough few weeks.
Election coming into view.
Yeah, appreciate you all.
And Cyd, my partner in crime.
And from my POV, you know, keep cranking
'cause we're doing great.
Up 3% in the demo week over week.
But, you know, we can do more. Up 15% year over year.
And...
just, it's great work and just, we're...
real pleasure to have the big man here
to give us some support.
So, sir. Up you come.
The big man. Here, come on up.
I'll help. No? Okay.
I could give you a kiss from here.
Good afternoon, everybody. Good afternoon.
15% up year on year.
It's a shame we're up 40 on costs.
But I guess... I guess it evens itself out in the end.
I mean, does it?
Is 15 equal to 40, pal?
- No. - No!
Good!
Good head for numbers!
All right. You're good folks.
You're the best.
Or you wouldn't be in here.
But you've got to knuckle down for me.
Waystar.
I can't say too much as yet.
But I'm gonna be spending a lot more time in here with you lot.
Because I love it in here.
I fucking love it!
Yeah!
So...
I don't wanna know about 3% week on week.
I wanna know that we're killing the opposition!
I wanna be cutting their throats!
Our rivals should be checking in, up back of their chauffeured cars
because they can't believe what we did!
So fucking spicy.
So true.
Something everyone knows
but nobody says
because...
they're too fucking lily-livered.
They cannot believe what we said
and the fact that we fucking said it!
They're fucking jam smears on the highway.
- Now... - Right.
Anyone...
Anyone who believes that I'm getting out
please shove the bunting up your ass.
This is not the end.
I'm gonna build something better.
Something faster, lighter, meaner, wilder.
And I'm gonna do it from in here.
With you lot!
You're fucking pirates!
All right?
- All right! - Yeah!
Yeah!
Who are you most excited about never having to see again
once GoJo closes?
Hugo, Frank, Karl.
- What about you? - Hey, no...
- What... What? - We can't get on.
I don't know. There's a problem.
- Excuse me? What? - It's a new policy, apparently.
I don't know what this is
but apparently, I'm not authorized to let you take off.
- Who is? - The company has just sent word.
What? We are the company.
- Yeah. - Our dad is the CEO.
Okay.
- Okay. - Right?
What?
- What? - What?
It's Dad.
He's fucking with us.
Right? He knows we're out here making moves.
- Okay. - His feathers are ruffled.
So, we're just gonna get on and we're gonna figure it out later.
- Okay? We'll just figure it out. - Yeah, I... I'm really sorry.
- I'm not able to let you board. - We have somewhere to be.
- You're not authorized. - So, we need to be on that chopper.
And if we're not, I'm gonna set aside several hundred thousand dollars
and I'm going to dedicate it to destroying your life.
Is that great? How does that sound?
I can't speak to that.
There she goes.
Okay. Bye-bye!
Where is it going? What is that...
There goes Daddy.
- It's going back to the city. - Bye-bye, birdie.
Oh, wow, there it is.
- Say bye to Daddy. - Fuck is this?
Well, we're gonna be late now.
Connor's gonna shit.
It's gonna be guilt trip to the fuckin' moon.
God damn it.
In Buddhism
sometimes, your greatest tormenter
can also be your most perceptive teacher.
That's really wise.
Hey, Buddha, nice Tom Fords.
- Okay, this is interesting. - Is it Con?
No. It's...
- Where's the car? - It's Sandi and Stewy.
They wanna... They wanna meet.
Call or meet. They prefer to meet.
They're asking if we're gonna be back in the city in the next one to two.
I mean, tonight?
No. I mean, it's about the board shit, right?
Like, Stewy says that Sandy thinks
that there's more juice to squeeze from the Swede
so they're just flying that again?
- It's bullshit. It's bullshit, Shiv. - Yeah.
- We've moved on. - I agree with this...
- Hey. Where's the car? - fuckin' hippie.
Hey, where are they? They just left.
Yeah, they're... He's just, like...
Get a car.
I'm trying. I'm trying.
Nothing from the board.
I don't like this silence.
Give it one last buzz round.
Kerry, get Frank and Karl on to the independents.
Let's triple lock this down.
As severe thunderstorms are expected to hit Pennsylvania
- West Virginia, Virginia... - What? This shit's everywhere.
And the Carolinas today.
- What is she doing? - As our forecast...
- Hey. - Hi. We finished early, so...
Okay.
What's going on?
Sorry? Just some prep for post-board meet.
The signing of the deal.
It seems Matsson would love an actual photo op.
I guess the question is, is that something you would like
or should we just...
What were you laughing at?
- What? - What were you laughing at?
Gerri was...
We were chatting and she said something amusing, so I...
Okay, okay. Let's look at the options.
Look, I...
I don't know if I should be seen shaking Matsson's hand.
I mean, he's been such a prick about the spin-off.
Okay. Karolina, can you do the option deck?
Well, you're ready to go in.
But... can you do it?
Is your laptop not working?
Nope.
Well, just give it a go.
It appears to be working. Give it a go.
Okay.
See if it... See if it works.
Here.
Severe storm...
So, here's the deck I did. We've got some great stuff here.
So, shall we get into it?
Look, I don't wanna be seen
like some piece of fucking set dressing, okay?
I mean, the only thing is
everyone's saying the timing, the deal you've done
don't you want your moment in the sun?
Oh, you working for Matsson already?
I'm still here, you know. I haven't gone.
You're getting your Viking hat on early?
- No. - Nah.
Nah, this is bullshit.
Hugo, I think we might need someone
to go and suck off an independent director.
I'm concerned about the board.
Put your fucking lipstick on.
Okay.
Is it worse to go up now?
I mean, I'd love to not go, but I think we kinda have to drink
at least a couple of Martini Passive Agressos...
- You guys want a taxi cab ride? - just to make up, right?
- Okay, what the fuck? - Taxi cab?
- Okay. - Come on, come on. Flat rate.
I give you good price...
Okay, what is this? We're kinda pushed.
Yeah, come on, man. Is this a fuckin' ambush?
No, we just wanted to do five in person.
- Right, Sandi? - Yeah.
We have a suite booked across the way.
Well, guys, it's not exactly convenient.
We're prepared to vote no on the GoJo deal
at the Waystar board meeting tomorrow.
We think there's more money to be squeezed from the Swede
and we think you're rushing this for emotional reasons.
Well, I don't think so. Okay, see you.
The premiums look weak on market comparables.
You know it. Look at last week.
It's a different deal. It's not relevant.
- Oh, come on. - No, we want your dad
to ask for more, but he's stopped engaging.
- He's palmed us off with Karl. - He does that.
He can get the deal through without us
but if we can get you guys on our side
we can force him back into the ring for one last round.
Okay, so, I guess, like, board pushes back on price
- what's the big deal? - What's the big deal?
- Okay. - Well, we'd have to weigh that
against the risk of blowing everything up.
I think our position might be that we're just done cornholing our dad.
But we just... we just feel like your old man got hot for this.
- Can't we cool him off? - Listen, listen.
There's money for all of us, if we ask nicely.
We push too hard, danger, danger.
But yeah, it's there. You know it's there.
My dad is clear. He wants to vote no.
- Yeah. - Us, plus you guys, that's it.
He's outvoted, this doesn't get through the board.
Send him back to the table.
- It doesn't need to go nuclear. - No.
Well, okay, it's not a big deal, let's just...
- We'll think about it. - Yeah.
Okay, well, the board meeting's tomorrow.
So, we need to know in the next hour or two.
Okay. Sure.
So, it's either we vote yes tomorrow, we all make billions of dollars
or we sign up for your cool shit, and then Dad disinherits us entirely.
That sounds like a toughie. We'll think about it. Thanks. Bye.
- Yeah. We gotta go. - Ken.
- We're done. - Ken.
- I'll keep working. - Yeah. And I'll call Ken.
- Oh, hey. - Hey.
Oh, so you're here now, huh?
Yeah. No, sorry. What, are you leaving or...
- Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- I'm just... - Hey.
We're just going for a little drink.
- Oh, it's over? Is it done? - The... The rehearsal?
- Yeah. - No, no.
But, I don't know, I think they can take it from here.
I'm not vital from here, so...
Yeah, I mean, the bride is normally, I guess
is generally considered one of the first team
at the old wedding, you know.
Yes. Right.
Yeah, I should go. Yeah, and have a think.
I think I'm in a bit of a fuzz.
You know, everything feels very vivid today, doesn't it?
You okay? What...
- What's... - Yeah. Fine.
What's going on?
You can't be jumping for joy the whole time.
- Right? - No. I guess.
Yeah, look, I should go.
- Yeah. Okay. - Yeah, bye.
Okay. Bye.
Fairytale wedding.
There goes the bride.
- I have enough cash. I'll take her. - I mean, do we even go up?
It seems like it's over, so...
Well...
I mean, yeah. I think we should.
- What do you mean? Yeah, of course. - What do you mean? Yeah. No.
- We're going upstairs. - No, we got a lot to...
We've... We have a lot to discuss, so...
Oh, what, the fucky bullshit?
- No. Come on. - Roman.
Look, a few weeks' pain could really set us up.
And I think we overpromised on Pierce, and...
- It just... It's a... - I just wanna...
- Sandy mind game. Let's just... - We gotta go. Come on.
- Fuck 'em. Fuck those guys. - Sure.
Finally.
Found him.
- Finally. - Hey, hey.
- Here they are. - Hey.
- Hello, sir. Hugsy. - We're so sorry, man.
Thank you.
Yeah. Dad screwed us.
- Hey, bro. - Ah, look at you.
The rebel alliance.
How is it out in those hills?
Supply lines okay? Got enough to eat?
This is how it is, huh?
The battle royale?
Me and Dad on one side, you guys on the other.
You... You okay, man?
We bumped into Willa on the way in.
Yeah, I think it's all fine.
Yeah.
Willa stood up to do her speech
and she said
"I can't do this"
and she went to the bathroom for 40 minutes
with her so-called friends.
Jeez.
Oh, no... No, that is not... You're fine. That's totally fine.
Don't worry about that. Just toss her another ten grand.
Or a snowmobile and some teeth-whitening vouchers.
Any luck, Sylvia?
Willa's mom.
- Okay. So... - This is so fucking weird.
Do we regroup at my place?
Shiv. He's... Come on.
He's lookin' a little rough, don't you think?
Well, sure.
I'm sorry that Dad fucked us, and I'm sorry that we're late
but we do need to decide fast, so...
Well, I think we know, right?
- Do we, though? - Yeah.
They made some pretty compelling arguments.
Sandi's a greedy little bitch.
She's got her hand up the ass of the carcass of her dad
and Stewy's just come along for the ride.
It's a... Fuck it. It's a packet of horseshit.
Okay, what if I wanna talk it through?
I just think, I think we rise above it, Shiv. Right?
No, but maybe Dad isn't on it like he used to be
and maybe he has underplayed his hand
and the board are all a hand-fucking-picked bunch
of Japanese plastic cats just waving it through.
Okay.
Still incommunicado. I just really hope she's okay.
So, what do you say?
A little bit of karaoke?
Or would it be possible to do
anything other than that in the entire universe?
She's partying. I can party.
I mean, we can go drink, right?
A little bachelor party for POTUS Scrotus?
Well, I mean, we three kind of gotta...
Ah, sure. Everybody's busy.
Come on, let's give him a drink, sis.
- Yeah. - Let's give him a drink.
- Yeah. But not... - Let's give him a drink.
But not your usual stupid places.
Somewhere fun and real.
Away from the fancy Dans.
A real bar with chicks and guys who work with their hands and grease
and sweat from their hands.
They have blood in their hair.
I don't like these guys.
They sound like a medical experiment gone wrong.
I don't know, he just said it's a big fucking problem.
Well, why the kitchen?
Should we hide the knives?
I don't know. He just said...
- Hey, Loge. - Hey.
- Hey. What's up? - What's all this pizza?
Why am I looking at all this pizza?
It's killing me.
This is... it's out of control, Tom.
- Right. - They send out for fresh pies
and there are two or three here already that are perfectly good.
All you have to do is put them in the fuckin' microwave.
- Right. - Right. Noted.
I guess, just to say, it does tend to...
It loses its... There's a sog factor...
Greg, fuck off.
Okay.
It's not the pizza.
I've been thinking about Kerry.
Okay, okay.
Yeah. Very excited. I mean, let's get into it.
She's a... She's a natural.
She's got "it."
Is she the finished article?
Well...
finished article, no, but you wouldn't expect her to be.
- No. - No, she needs a little...
needs a little time.
Maybe... maybe quite a bit of time.
- Interesting. - Yeah. She's... she's raw.
And I think...
maybe we should think about starting her way...
under the radar, and...
you know, she has a lot to learn.
A lot.
And I think... I think
it can be damaging to put talent out there too early.
Smart.
Oh, that's smart.
Okay.
Yeah. Okay. Sure. No problem.
I'm not involved.
I'm nowhere near this. I know nothing.
Sure. Understood.
Ah, America.
- This is charming. - I missed you.
Okay, what's everybody having?
What do you want?
Oh, do you think they know how to make a vodka tonic?
- A house red? Do I dare? - Yes.
- No... - Get that.
Just a club soda with a sealed lid.
Nothing from that tainted nozzle.
Con, what do you want?
I'll just have whatever a regular Joe would have.
Just a Belgian of Weissbier.
- Not Hoegaarden, ideally. - Hey. Have you seen this?
From Word on the Street?
On what the Waystar price will come out at?
Sandi shared, so I...
Hey, can I get vodka tonic over bitters and soda...
You still with us, Con?
Oh, sure. Just Willa.
I have her location shared.
I just think it's a factory setting.
- It's not. - Yeah, well, anyway, I am reassured.
She's definitely not on her way to Cuba.
Well, her phone isn't. Yeah. She's stopped movin'.
I guess she found a spot she likes.
Sure. On another man's dick.
On a much bigger, nicer, harder, younger dick, is all I'm saying.
- Can we not? Can we not do... - Okay. I know.
You know, 'cause I'm feeling... I have these certain anxieties.
I mean, I wanna have a good time.
- Okay. Sorry. - Let's have fun.
We can monitor her dot together.
- She's... what's... - Get it up on the big screen.
Why so long at the...
Her dot is at a aquarium supply retailer.
That doesn't make sense. Is that a drug thing?
- I love him. - No.
- You sure? - I am sure.
It is. It's a drug thing.
- Sorry. - Now she's at a dry cleaners.
She's probably getting her panties cleaned.
Mussed 'em up a bit.
- It's really tough. - I'll be right back.
- What's wrong with you? - I'm not saying it's your cum.
Your cum, I'm sure, is very washable.
- Stop, stop. - Okay.
Yo. Lukas. What's up, brother?
What's up?
Can't fuckin' sleep.
Do you sleep good?
Honestly, not really. No.
I've never met anyone I respect who sleeps good.
Tell me about it.
One eye open, bro. One eye open.
Yeah. And secondly, my team says
I shouldn't be talking to you about this, but whatever.
Well, I've been... I've been hearing
that the activists hustling on the price
are trying to get you to join their little scheisse-party.
- Is that true? - Well, I can't...
I can't give you a play-by-play, but...
Well, I know that you tried to screw this deal with your dad
and I know your dad hates you now, so...
you're out of options, right?
And I've also been hearing that you've been going around
offering old ladies suitcases full of money.
Well, if you wanna have a full suitcase anytime soon
- you don't push me, okay? - Okay, dude.
- Your... He's gonna sell. - I hear you, man.
But if he pushes me again, it won't be to me.
This isn't aggressive.
Like, I've been told that sometimes, when I'm direct
it can code aggressive, but it's... it's not. It's just...
Like, I like you. I like you. I do.
I thought clarity, you know
before any nukes get launched.
Okay?
So, either back off or I'm gonna walk.
I got you. Loud and clear.
Okay.
I think that's it, K-Roy.
Yeah. Sweet dreams.
Storm warnings have been issued in parts of the East
as severe thunderstorms are expected to hit Pennsylvania
and the Carolinas today and our forecast the...
This is an incredibly delicate piece of diplomacy, Greg.
Okay?
It's like Israel-Palestine
except harder and much more important.
- She is not gonna be happy. - Right.
But I think I see a way through.
What's that?
You tell her.
Yeah, interesting. I mean...
I... I don't... I don't like it.
Well, you're a little frustrated.
- Yeah. - You want next-level tasks.
- Right? - Yeah, but not, like
telling our boss's girlfriend she can't be on TV.
Honestly, I think... I think it tracks.
This is what you do. All right?
You go to her and you say...
like, you say
"It's really hard even being a cousin of this family
and you've seen what's happened to the kids.
You know, things get muddled, and..."
And then you tell her she's good, but not too good, and then you...
you make sure Logan's out of it and I'm out of it
and you tell her that the focus group had thoughts.
Okay.
And then you ask her, you know, does she even really want it
handed to her on a silver platter?
You know, with all the resentments and accusations?
And then you can make it seem like it's her idea to cool things. Right?
- Okay. Yeah. - Yeah? Good?
But if she's like, "Fuck you, Greg"
and "I wanna be on TV tomorrow. ATN is my home..."
Well, then if that happens
just back away to a position of safety
and I will march in and mop up the rage.
- Okay? - All right.
Oh, goddamn it.
- Well, I'm having fun. - Hey, what's up?
- What'd I miss? - Hey.
- We're eating. Right here. - Yeah?
Billy Ray Cyrus's Kentucky Fried Shitshack.
Oh, they seem to have some hearty fare.
What was that shit?
Stewy.
- Oh, great. What the fuck now? What? - Yeah.
Well, actually, guys, can I... can I... can I show you something?
- Yeah. - Ooh, meat.
I wonder from which particular creature
they snip these wings.
Perhaps a mammal?
On the comparables.
It's... It's actually pretty fucking intriguing.
Okay, well, it makes you think.
Maybe Dad isn't on it like he used to be.
He's been pushed around by Matsson.
I mean, he's fucking being pushed around by Kerry.
Giving shows to his girlfriend? It's just...
Fuck. She's in the East River.
- She's in the fucking... No. - What?
She's on the bridge. She's headed to Williamsburg.
Not to be dicks, Con, but is it okay if we do
a little breakout chat just the three of us?
We won't be long. Like, two minutes max.
Hey, fuck it. Why don't we fold Con in?
- Well, he's not on the board, so... - Yeah, but he has his shares.
So, if the deal... he loses his payout.
- Excuse me? - Oh, yeah.
So, Shiv wants to get us mixed up in some sorta drug deal
that will fuck the vote tomorrow.
No, a small delay, we all want the deal.
- Okay. - And, look, I think I agree.
- Oh, what the fuck now? - Yeah, just...
- Seriously? - It's just...
- Looking at the numbers... - Yeah.
It's... it's compelling.
- It's compelling? - Yes.
Come on.
So, you're gonna force Dad to grovel?
Oh, man. How long will the renegotiation take?
It's a play.
More money is more money, and that's all there is to it.
I'm sorry.
What the fuck?
Roman?
The fuck is Dad messaging you for, Rome?
I don't know. Ask him.
It's a good question.
You're not gonna read it?
Yeah, I'll read the... I will. Yeah. I'll read it. Sure.
Other... just a check-in.
- Oh, yeah? A check-in? - Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're right. Classic Dad.
He always just checks in.
Just wants to see how you're doin'.
Okay, I sent him a text on his birthday
just saying, "Happy birthday."
- I'm sorry. Wait a minute. - "Sorry we missed it."
- You texted him initially? - On his birthday. Yeah.
We said no contact until he apologizes.
Okay, well, so then never?
- You know what? - What?
I think I would like to see your phone.
- Oh, really? Show me your phone. - Yeah.
World's biggest WhatsApp group of people
sharing pictures of your snatch.
- No thanks. Fuck you. No. - Rome. Guys. Rome.
What?
We have to trust each other here.
So then, fucking look. I don't give a shit.
It's dick pics anyway. He's got a real taste for 'em now.
- Great. - It's this right here. Read.
- Who gives a shit? - Well, this is more than one text.
It's two, three? It's... Yeah, it's more than one. Sorry.
- It's a bit warm. - It's warm? Why, what'd I say?
- "Take care." - "Take care"?
What am I supposed to say?
"Happy birthday, hope you fall down a flight of stairs, shithead."
You know what? I feel a little bit weird about this betrayal.
- The betrayal? - Yeah.
Yes, the betrayal of
"Happy birthday, Dad. Take care. Roman."
- You know what? I do, too. - Betrayal.
Okay, great. Fucking family guilt trip.
European vacation, let's do it.
It's hard. It's been hard on everybody.
You know that he advised Tom on the divorce?
Gave him a Dad trick.
Went and spoke to every pit bull in Manhattan, tied 'em up?
I got Mommed.
I mean...
there's probably one more horrible motherfucker lawyer
somewhere in the United States if you wanna look, but...
yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Guys, I feel like we need to stick together
and we should push back
and you should come with us, and we should put the squeeze on.
Okay, but we want to do Pierce, right?
We want out, right?
- Yes. - Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Just with just a bit more money.
Yes, but I don't think Matsson will go up in price.
He won't. I know this because I have spoken to him.
Oh, well, if that's... that's what he said, then it must be true.
- Okay, seriously? - Yeah.
I think he might walk.
Oh, might he?
Yeah, do you think he could maybe, like...
Is it a possibility he could say a not?
- Okay. - Like, a thing that isn't. A lie?
Well, I mean, why would he say that?
Well, it's Negotiating 101, Rome.
Did they not teach you that in management training?
Okay. All right. But it sounded like he meant it.
- Oh, yeah. That's Negotiating 102. - Okay.
It's pretty basic.
Look, I know that conflict isn't nice
- but we overcommitted on Pierce... - Wait, what?
- And this gives us the cash... - I don't give a shit about conflict.
To make it right. Yes, you do.
- No, I don't. - Oh, okay, fine.
Well, it is about "Dad feelings" for you, then.
- "Dad feelings"? - Yeah.
If anyone here has fuckin' Dad feelings, it's...
Holy shit. Poking Satan with a fork.
I'm genuine about us three.
And stop ganging up on me
like you're Lennon and McCartney and I'm fuckin' George.
I'm John, motherfuckers.
Ringo. Yoko.
He's still Connor, but he won having drinks with us at an auction.
Honestly, no.
I think going with Sandi and Stewy
is the best thing for us to do.
- Yeah. - As a team.
It's just a... It's just a move. It's a... It's a delay.
A couple weeks.
He'll get it. It's what Dad would do in his prime.
Exactly.
I guess if it's just a play, then yeah.
Fuck. Yeah, I'm in.
God-fucking-damn it.
- God-fucking-damn it. - Sorry, sorry.
You ruined it all. You fucking ruined it all.
- Con, Con. Sorry. - Fucked it up.
What do you wanna do?
What do I wanna do? I wanted to get married tomorrow.
- Well... - I wanted to spend tonight
with my family and tomorrow with my dad
and I wanted to get my fuckin' money out.
What else can we do?
I would like to sing one fucking song at karaoke
because I've seen it in the movies and nobody ever wants to go.
Hey. Hey, Kerry.
Sorry, can I possibly, please, grab you just for five minutes
- quickly, please? At all? - Yeah. Why not?
You've already grabbed every other woman in Manhattan.
Thank you. Let's... Let's just head in here.
I just wanted to grab you for a quick moment.
I... I hope I'm not gettin' above my station here.
But I wanted to talk to you about the whole tape thing.
I... I'm not sure I wanna talk to you about that.
Oh, yeah. No. Fair enough.
Then, just as a friend, I...
I wanted to give you a heads-up on the down-low
on what the murmurs are
and say, you know, how careful I have had to be
about my particular position as a family member
and say how people chatter so unpleasantly
about accusations of legs up and unfair play and...
What is this, Greg?
Just...
Are... Are you...
rushing things a bit?
And could... could that, long term, actually harm your position...
So, okay, Tom doesn't think I'm ready and he's sent you to...
No... No, not at all. He thinks you're great.
I mean, there are some little doubts from a focus group, and there...
- They focus-grouped me? - Yes.
But the big picture is, what I'm saying
you know, like, how Kendall and Shiv have an entitlement problem?
Okay, I'm sorry. What did they say? The focus group?
Well, headlines... great.
Just maybe not fully there.
- And a few criticisms, but... - Such as?
Minor shit. Like, nothing.
I mean, maybe... Great package.
Maybe a little, you know, arm...
The arms aren't right, you know. Or they're a little un-TV.
The arms aren't right?
No. Yeah. But... But not a biggie.
No, fixable, with a few years.
But on... No, sorry. On TV. This is on TV.
And it can happen that they... that they shoot weird, the camera.
So, who was in this focus group, Greg?
- Just you? - No.
- Is it Tom? - No.
- Logan? - No.
It's a bunch of grandpas and little twerps and such.
- Can I see it? - No.
- Because? - Because it's private.
- Well, it's not. - You can't.
What if Logan wants to see it?
It's... I'm sorry, it's confidential.
- From the CEO? - Yes.
Okay, if this focus group isn't real
I'm gonna take you apart like a human string cheese.
Understood.
That did the job.
Heard from Connor.
Okay.
The kids, Sandy and Stewy.
They have the numbers to force us back to the table.
What... What do you do? You want me to call?
You want me to ream 'em out for you?
Nah. Delicate.
They have some juice here.
They have some fuckin' juice.
You should share your fuckin' dot with Willa.
Then she'll see that you're out having fun.
I love karaoke. It's great.
The wedding is doomed.
Okay.
Thank you.
So, what happens now?
Well, someone has to humiliate themselves
in the Shame Palace.
Think they have "Desperado" by the Eagles?
I would imagine they do, longest night of my life.
Oh, shit.
- What? - She's gone dark.
Why's she gone dark? I mean, is this it?
Is she going off with some buck and they're gonna, you know...
Hey, take it easy. Maybe her phone just died.
Yeah. Have you ever considered that she might not be right for you?
This could be good. Yeah?
- Connor... - You'll meet someone else.
You're not doing better than Willa.
I would agree. Do not let Willa go.
Romulus.
So...
Dad's on his way.
- What? - He wants us to meet him
- down at the car when he gets here. - What do you mean?
- What the fuck? - How does he know we're here?
How do you know he's coming?
Well, I told him that it's the night of a thousand wobbles over here
and he needs to talk to you.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Con.
My life isn't filled with secrets like some people.
I share things
and I want my father to be at my wedding.
You mean you want the money.
Well, no, Siobhan, that was not my primary consideration.
I mean, what do we do? Do we... Do we leave? I mean...
Will he come in? He's not coming in, right?
You know what? Just be water, my friend.
Just be... Wow, thanks, man.
What happens if I kill a Buddhist?
Do I get reincarnated as a fucking Buddhist?
I hope not.
It's four in the morning
The end of December
I'm writing you now Just to see if you're better
New York is cold But I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street All through the evening
This is Guantanamo-level shit.
I hear that you're...
What is this, Con?
I think I would like to hear "Desperado", please.
Deep in the desert
Okay. I don't know why Dad's calling me.
Well, really, he should be calling me.
What did we say? Don't answer it.
I'm not.
Hang up.
I could just let... Hey.
I was gonna let it ring out.
Oh, shit. Of course. I didn't think of that.
With a lock of your hair...
Oh, my god.
Hey.
Oh, shit.
Can we go somewhere else?
These lights. I...
I could have a seizure.
We're not going anywhere.
Fine. Very well.
Okay.
We won't be needing you, Kerry.
- You can... - Oh, yeah.
- Thank you. - This here's a family fuck fuck.
Ignore me.
Okay, let's get this figured out
and then I can let you get back to your fun.
Well, it might have been a wasted trip.
Wanna give us a quick blast of "New York, New York" and fuck off?
Well, I... I wanted to say something.
Yeah? Reasons we should vote through the sale?
No surprises there.
Unless you do it to the tune of "The Girl From Ipanema"?
Well, it's not that. I mean, aside from this...
I guess I...
I guess I just... I... I wanted you there a bit at my party.
Holy shit.
Did Dad just say a feeling?
Well, you know, I just...
I thought maybe it would be nice.
Oh, fuck. Now it's all coming out.
Oh, my god. Mr. Melodrama over here.
It's like a fucking telenovela.
Come on, guys. He's trying something.
Look, you knew I wanted Pierce.
From way back.
And when I lost out...
that was not a good feeling.
Yeah, no shit.
Practically had to walk back from Albany.
Can we just... I'm sorry. Can we cut the shit?
It's obvious why you're here.
Your father wanted to address the personal stuff
and not just launch into the business.
Well, see, this isn't personal, Dad.
This is a business decision.
This is about the money.
Look, you're smart to ask about the money.
You are.
But Matsson won't go there.
You haven't been around this, but I've got done a good deal, and...
you'll get enough to do whatever you want.
I do ATN, you do Pierce.
It'll be a fresh start for all of us.
It'll make things better, and it starts there.
All you have to do is vote yes and support the deal.
You know what he's offering.
You can separate the personal and the business.
You can reset your dynamic as a family.
Oh, super.
We gonna be just how we, like, we used to be?
And go on summer vacay together
and drive down Route One in an RV, singin' show tunes?
It may be more complicated than that.
Yeah, I mean, I guess you're still in the honeymoon period, so...
you know, getting your own show on TV?
Oh, are you not gonna be on TV now? No?
I'm sorry, is that not...
Has he fucked you on that?
That'll happen. The fucking.
But congrats on losing your betrayal cherry.
Enough.
I thought you'd be interested in an apology
but that... that's enough.
Wait, I'm sorry. An apology? We... We missed that.
Look.
I don't do apologies.
But if it means so much to you...
then, sorry.
There is nothing you could say to me now that I would ever believe.
This deal push could be worth a hundred mill to us, Dad.
How many sorries do we get for that?
Okay, to be clear, he...
What are you actually sorry for, Dad?
Well, I'm sorry for the helicopter for a start.
You guys, he's sorry about the helicopter from today.
Well, that's the big one, I guess.
- Are we actually doing this, Dad? - Okay.
'Cause, I think, you know...
seriously, what fucked all this was when...
with Mom and Italy...
Yeah, okay.
I've had certain thoughts about that.
Look, with the best of intentions
I... I got the structure of the holding company
the ownership structure of the family trust.
There is a lack of clarity, and maybe...
- maybe you got certain impressions. - Amazing.
You sure you're not having that seizure?
I mean, he is trying. Right?
At what you said you were interested in, was an apology.
Okay, then.
Anything else?
Come on, Dad. What are you sorry for?
You sorry for fucking ignoring Connor his whole life?
Bit strong.
Hitting Rome when he was a kid?
Well, no, I mean, everyone hit me. I'm fucking annoying.
And having Connor's mother locked up?
Can we not do a whole show trial here?
What about advising Tom on my divorce?
Yeah?
I mean, that one, that took effort.
That was above and beyond.
Tom asked me for advice.
I recommended someone he could speak to.
You weren't around.
If you'd been around
I would have offered you the same advice.
But I can't help you if you won't see me.
Look, the bottom line is
if we ask for more money
Matsson walks.
- I know that. - No. You don't know that.
You don't know him. You don't fucking know everything.
Just because you say it doesn't make it true.
Everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you
so it becomes true.
And then you can turn around and say, like, "Oh, you see?
See? I was right."
But that is not how it is. You're a human fucking gaslight.
Fine.
Look.
I... I just wanna get us all together.
What you kids don't realize, this is a good deal.
The world likes it, it makes sense.
But deals have a habit of disappearing
because pricks like Matsson
get pissed off or snubbed.
This... this is fucking real.
Okay, well, I think I can speak for everyone, can I, when I say
go ask him for more money.
But why?
Just good business sense.
Gotta make our own pile.
- Aw, come on. - Right, Dad?
Yeah, I mean, it's what my gut is telling me
and so, I gotta listen to my gut.
It's... It's all I got to go on.
Jesus.
You're such fucking dopes.
You're not serious figures.
I love you...
but you are not...
serious people.
Look at this prick.
They should get out here.
Some cunt doin' the tin cans for his supper.
Take a sip of that medicine.
This city.
The rats are as fat as skunks.
They hardly care to run anymore.
I don't know. I don't fucking know.
The meeting's off.
I need to see Matsson.
It'll be you, me, Tom, Karl, Frank.
- But no Gerri. - Fine.
So...
how was it for you? Fucking Dad?
Amazing. Just over too soon.
I could've kept going.
Rome, we're kidding, man. Kidding.
No, I know. It's fine. It's cool.
Okay.
I'm going home.
Well, I'm sure she'll be in touch, Con.
You know what? It's fine.
- Really? - Yeah.
The good thing about having a family that doesn't love you
is you learn to live without it.
What?
- Connor, that's not... - You're all chasing after Dad
saying, "Oh, love me. Please, love me.
I need love. I need attention."
Well, I think that's the opposite of what just happened.
You're needy love sponges.
And I'm a plant that grows on rocks
and lives off insects that die inside of me.
Jesus Christ, Con.
If Willa doesn't come back, it's fine.
Because I don't need love.
It's like a superpower.
And if she comes back and doesn't love me
that's okay, too, 'cause I don't need it.
Thanks for the party.
You're welcome.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, lookie, lookie here.
Twin Cities Tessie. Thought I smelled dairy.
So, that just felt a bit weird and there was a lot going on, so...
We know what they're like.
I pushed the board meeting.
I want you to come with me and see Matsson tomorrow.
I could use your help.
Oh, yeah?
I mean, it's the wedding. Con's wedding.
But that feels... Yeah, let's see.
- Tom. - Yeah.
- Thank you. - Give you a moment.
Okay. Yeah. Sure.
- Here. - Okay.
There's a Night of the Long Knives coming.
Cyd's toast.
I'm reinventing ATN.
I need a fire breather.
A ruthless fuck who'll do whatever it takes.
Maybe I should go.
You're not Pierce.
Smart people know what they are.
I mean, you really want me? At ATN?
More, Romulus.
More.
I need you.