1 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,260 Mr. President, Jim Gordon, 2 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:43,730 aka Gotham PD Commissioner, aka the Commish, 3 00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:45,390 but you can call me Gordo. 4 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,260 Sir, Gotham City is finally ready to-- 5 00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:48,560 -[secretary] Please hold for the President. -Ah! 6 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,730 Sorry, I thought you were the President. 7 00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,270 -No, I'm his secretary. -Well, yes. 8 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:54,320 Now that you say it, 9 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,270 it makes sense that the President wouldn't answer his own phone. 10 00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:58,510 Just that I don't often hear of a male secretary. 11 00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:01,140 -This is the President. -Sir, I, on my own, 12 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:05,310 with no help from others, definitely singlehandedly took out the Injustice League. 13 00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:09,250 Gotham City is ready to rejoin the United States. 14 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,620 Gordo... Can I call you that? 15 00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:12,120 I'd prefer that. 16 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,820 Gordo, according to my intel, there's still one supervillain who is running amok. 17 00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:17,530 Harley Quinn. 18 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:20,660 Uh... she's nothing but a polyp up my bunghole. 19 00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:21,900 Irritating? Sure. 20 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,330 Uncomfortable? Absolutely. 21 00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:27,700 Horrifying to sexual partners and oftentimes a deal breaker? Definitely. 22 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:30,470 But nothing that a doctor-prescribed cream can't take care of. 23 00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:31,940 -[camera shutter clicks] -That is... 24 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:35,450 a lot of specific knowledge about anal polyps. 25 00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:37,070 You're talking to an expert. 26 00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:39,450 Look, Gordo, Harley Quinn caused the downfall of Gotham. 27 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:40,660 She's a menace. 28 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,200 She strikes fear into the heart of the public psyche. 29 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,420 If she's still out there, Gotham isn't safe. 30 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:48,390 Take care of Harley Quinn and I'll put Gotham back on the map. 31 00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:51,330 I'm coming for you, Quinn. 32 00:01:51,390 --> 00:01:54,540 [theme music playing] 33 00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:04,840 Harls, if we're going to talk about it, let's just talk about it. 34 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,780 I mean, pssh, if you want to, I guess I could. Yeah. 35 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,680 That was... crazy, right? 36 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:10,280 [chuckles] So, crazy. 37 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,650 I've been thinking a lot, and I think it was-- 38 00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:13,980 An impetuous, spur of the moment thing. 39 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:14,980 -You know? -Yes. 40 00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:16,720 It was the adrenaline of escaping, you know. 41 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,720 I just think it went to our heads. 42 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,720 -Hundred percent. -We weren't really thinking. 43 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,520 -You know? -It's so weird and uncanny 44 00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:23,390 how you just said everything I was going to say. 45 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,630 I think we just chalk it up to a crazy moment 46 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:26,900 where something crazy happened. 47 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:27,980 You know what I mean? I mean, that's it. 48 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,770 Totally. Totally! It was so me! 49 00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:31,830 It was Harley Quinn, always doing crazy things! 50 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,500 Always being impetuous! Hey! 51 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,600 Always kissing people! 52 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,840 -Muah! -Ugh! 53 00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:39,210 Disgusting! You're not my type. 54 00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:40,940 Harley, are you sure you're cool, or... 55 00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:44,280 Yes. I swear to you. I'm cool. I'm just... We are cool. 56 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,420 Ugh, great! I'm just glad we're on the same page. 57 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,020 I mean, I'm getting married to Kite Man soon. 58 00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:50,320 -You know, so I gotta focus on that. -Obvs! 59 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:51,990 Yeah, I'm super busy, too. 60 00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:53,820 I'm like planning my next move. So many moves. All... 61 00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,820 Almost too many moves. 62 00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:58,490 Wow, look at that. I'm actually late to a move planning meeting. 63 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,300 Oh, this is so good. 64 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,400 Harley, I'm just glad we talked about this. 65 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,700 And I would never want anything to mess up our friendship, you know? 66 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,870 Yes, totally. Yeah, especially not over some kiss 67 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,270 that, you know, didn't even mean anything. 68 00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:12,940 [chuckles awkwardly] So, are you gonna tell Kite Man? 69 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,680 [Kite Man] How could you do this to me? 70 00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:16,850 Babe, I'm so sorry. 71 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:19,680 Look, I meant to call for a reservation and stuff came up. 72 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,080 I said I'm sorry. 73 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,920 Sorry doesn't get us a table at Senor Mexico's authentic Mexican adobe house, 74 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,720 which is my parents' favorite brunch spot in all of Gotham. 75 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,790 [object clatters] 76 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:33,400 -Babe, you all right? -Yes. I'm... I'm just... It's... 77 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,860 I've got a lot on my mind right now. 78 00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:37,370 Hey. I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you. 79 00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:39,270 It's just the first time they're meeting you, 80 00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,800 and I want them to love you as much as I do, 81 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,600 because, no pressure, if they don't love you 82 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,970 they won't approve of the wedding, 83 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,080 and then they won't come to the wedding! 84 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,740 Honey, I will make sure that they love me. 85 00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:48,250 Because parents always love me. 86 00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,410 I mean, not my parents or any other parents. 87 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,420 But the point is for your parents? Ah! 88 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,780 I'm gonna just blow them away. 89 00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,850 God, I love you. 90 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,490 Okay. So, as we all know, I'm super busy, 91 00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,620 I'm a crazy busy, busiest I've ever been. 92 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:04,460 The question is, what am I super busy with? 93 00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:05,720 What's next? 94 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,930 I thought we were gonna chill out and have fun 95 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,570 after we took the Injustice League out? 96 00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,810 Oh, yeah. We're gonna have fun. 97 00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:13,700 As I become the world's most feared supervillain! 98 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,440 That's not you. 99 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,570 The gravitas just isn't there. 100 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,340 The gravitas is there! 101 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:23,510 Harley, first I want to apologize for these pussies! 102 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:26,750 I, for one, welcome you pushing the evil envelope. 103 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,580 This is what I've dreamed of. 104 00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:31,090 If you want to do some truly evil shit, 105 00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:32,720 then I'm your guy! 106 00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:34,520 What are your thoughts on killing puppies? 107 00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:35,960 -[both gasp] -[bike revs] 108 00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,890 Harley, I've come to warn you about my-- 109 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,900 -Wait, who are you? -Um... Batgirl. Anyway... 110 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,160 All right. You know what? 111 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,970 As a community, we should really get together 112 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,700 and start coming up with more creative names. 113 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,280 This is bullshit. 114 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:51,510 Can I just say, I love the stitch work on your costume, girl. 115 00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:53,110 [laughs] I see you. 116 00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:54,380 Aw, geez, thanks. 117 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,080 Why the hell are you here? 118 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,980 Gordon's coming to take you down. 119 00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:01,350 You are what stands in the way of Gotham rejoining the United States. 120 00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,560 And I've come here to warn you 121 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,790 because he thinks you're a villain, 122 00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,020 but I know that you're not. 123 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,820 What? I'm bad as hell. 124 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,090 Total villain over here! 125 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,520 Fuck, yeah! 126 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,400 That's the Harley I've been waiting for. 127 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,920 Own it, girl! 128 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,970 You did kick the Legion of Doom out of Gotham, 129 00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:17,800 killed Joker, got rid of the Injustice League. 130 00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:19,470 Those were all heroic things. 131 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,600 This is what we were just saying. 132 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,410 See? Batgirl gets it. 133 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,740 You want me to melt her mind? 134 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,810 I will melt her mind. 135 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:29,480 All I'm saying is lay low, and hopefully this'll all blow over. 136 00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:30,960 No time to lay low! 137 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,380 I was just telling Ivy how I am a very busy person, 138 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,590 and that's what I am. 139 00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:36,620 So I am going to lay very high, thank you. 140 00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:38,620 Harley, he won't stop until he gets you. 141 00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:40,460 You heard about what he did to Two-Face, 142 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:42,030 and Two-Face had a whole mess of goons. 143 00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:44,130 So, what you're saying is I need an army. 144 00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:47,100 No, that's 100% not what I was say-- 145 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:49,600 -You tell Commissioner Gor-dumb... -Nice! 146 00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,830 ...that I am the baddest bitch in town. 147 00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:53,770 I'm Harley Quinn! I'm impetuous! 148 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,440 I kiss people at random! 149 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,110 -Muah! -What's happening? 150 00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:00,010 I am a supervillain, and Gordon better sack up 151 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,010 and prepare for an all-out war with me and my army. 152 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,850 -Thanks for the heads up. -No, again, 153 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,850 -that was 100% not what I was saying-- -[door slams] 154 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,120 All right, listen. New plan. 155 00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:10,590 We are gonna defeat Gordon. 156 00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:11,890 We just need an evil army. 157 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,760 Anyone know how we can get an evil army? 158 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,990 I am rock hard right now! 159 00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:17,630 That's nasty. 160 00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:19,800 Harley, what has gotten into you? 161 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,830 Ever since you and Ivy emerged from Bane's pit, you seem unlike yourself. 162 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,770 Yeah, you never said anything about being a warlord. 163 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,570 Plus, where are we going to get an army? 164 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,840 Especially since the goons have unionized. 165 00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:34,440 Nothing happened in the pit, and I am absolutely being totally like myself. 166 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,910 And no one is getting in my way. 167 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,430 Not even Gordon. 168 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,820 You know what? I think I know where we can get an army. 169 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,020 But it's some real deal villain shit. 170 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,590 You got to get your hands dirty. Are you down to do that? 171 00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,820 Bitch, please. I am super down. 172 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,060 This is exactly what I want to do. 173 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:49,830 I'm Harley Quinn. I'm impetuous! 174 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:51,960 I kiss people for no reason. 175 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,060 -Muah! -[King Shark giggles] 176 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,530 Yeah, you've made that whole kissing thing really clear, Harley. 177 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,140 Hey, sup. Uh, I don't really care either way, 178 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,570 but what're the chances you have a four top? 179 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,470 Four top is restaurant speak for-- 180 00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:05,710 A table, for four people. Thanks. 181 00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:07,010 My little foodie. 182 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,580 Yeah, it's a three-hour wait. Sorry. 183 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,050 [groans] Oh, boy! 184 00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,250 Um, babe, those people over there 185 00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:15,020 that look like a country club fucked a yacht club are waving at us. 186 00:07:15,090 --> 00:07:16,990 Charles dear, over here! 187 00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:20,220 Mother, Father, please meet the love of my life, Pamela. 188 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,720 You didn't make a reservation. 189 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:24,230 -Mother, I am so sorry. -Oh, God. 190 00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:28,630 I had to have the credit card company concierge read management the riot act 191 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,170 and we still got stuck here with the hoi polloi. 192 00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,640 Our usual booth was taken. 193 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,800 Oh. You know what? Let me talk to the manager. 194 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:38,070 Good luck to her, I say. 195 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:40,640 [couple yell] 196 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,880 Well, look at that. A booth just opened up. 197 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:46,180 Pam, I must say, I like your style. 198 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,680 Well, shall we? 199 00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:49,990 Senorita, can we get four mimosas 200 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:53,260 and an order of your mashed avocado? Gracias. 201 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,060 And if I don't escape my shackles in five minutes, 202 00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:00,060 I will plunge to my death! 203 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:02,030 Okay. Where's this army you're promising? 204 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,900 Well, as you all know, 205 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,600 I have always had a huge hard-on for world domination. 206 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,600 -Well, that's on brand. -Just disgusting. 207 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:12,040 And there is truly only one foolproof way I've found to get it. 208 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,540 That idiot in the technicolor dreamcoat 209 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,310 has a device called a "Mother Box" 210 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,920 that can create a "Boom Tube." 211 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,050 We take the Boom Tube to Apokolips, 212 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:24,020 where Darkseid has a whole shitload of amazing armies. 213 00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,720 We kiss Darkseid's ring, 214 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,320 pledge fealty, blah blah blah, 215 00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:29,960 he gives us an army of flying monkey lizards, 216 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,090 and we take out Gotham by supper. 217 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,260 Eff, yes! 218 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,930 I'm an eff maybe... 219 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,170 I find that plan to have many holes. 220 00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:40,000 How would one even procure a Mother's Box? 221 00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:42,870 [laughs] I am so glad you asked! 222 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,810 Get ready for a BAFTA, 223 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,940 because you're gonna be playin' a drunk. 224 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,680 A modern Falstaff! Perfect. 225 00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,010 Company! 226 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,050 Ah! Oh, villainous, burp, company 227 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,860 hath been, burp, the spoil of my-- 228 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,160 Shut the fuck up! I'm the director. 229 00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,060 You stumble onstage and distract security. 230 00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:07,000 You just lost your BAFTA. 231 00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:10,070 [groaning] 232 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,240 Then, while Miracle is chained up, 233 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,870 I'm gonna go into his mind, 234 00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:15,340 figure out where he keeps the Mother Box and... 235 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,370 -Too late. -Hey, you're not allowed onstage. 236 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,970 [audience screaming] 237 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,610 It was just in his dressing room. 238 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,780 So, hold on to your barf bags! 239 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,280 We're going to Apokolips. 240 00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,250 Ha! 241 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,120 There goes my new year's resolution to not bite my nails 242 00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,990 or jump into any inter-dimensional portals. 243 00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,320 [Dr. Psycho laughs] 244 00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,660 Whee! 245 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,860 [cheering loudly] 246 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:43,000 So... So, then I said, "Did anyone call for kelp?" 247 00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,670 And then I wrapped Aquaman up in... 248 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:46,870 Can you guess? Kelp. 249 00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:48,870 You are a hoot! 250 00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,140 Isn't she, Darryl? 251 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,110 Charles is one lucky son of a gun. 252 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,310 -Hell yeah, I am. -Charles! Language! 253 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,910 Well... But, it's kinda like my catch phrase. 254 00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,710 Well, then find a new one! 255 00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,350 Yes, ma'am. If you'll excuse me, 256 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,150 I'm just gonna go wash my hands before we chow down. 257 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,740 [whispers] I love you. 258 00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:07,090 Our son getting married was a shock in and of itself, 259 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:11,390 but to find out his fiancee has actual super powers! 260 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,160 [both] Our grandkids are going to have superpowers like us! 261 00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:16,030 Oh, you... So you guys have superpowers? 262 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,370 Oh, sure. I can harness the power of cold, 263 00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,370 and this one has the old gift of flight. 264 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,710 So, you can imagine how disappointed we were 265 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:26,110 when poor Charles was born... powerless. 266 00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:28,040 Well, he has his kite. 267 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,110 Ugh! 268 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,210 Pamela, we want the best for our grandkids, 269 00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,220 and that is them having superpowers, 270 00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:34,720 not pretending to have them. 271 00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:37,220 And you're the answer to our prayers. 272 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:40,290 Well... [sighs] Good. 273 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,870 [grunts and laughs] 274 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:58,310 This is gonna be the last mustache you ever see, Quinn. 275 00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,040 Wow, that is a lot of guns. 276 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,180 Or, not enough guns. 277 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,380 Dad, I don't think you should go up against Harley. 278 00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,360 Oh, that old saw. 279 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,890 [sarcastically] Because she's a girl, and boys against girls is unfair. 280 00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:11,450 Um, no. 281 00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,420 Because rumor has it she's going to have an army. 282 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,160 Thousands of people might die. 283 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,730 You might die. 284 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:17,860 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I see what you're saying. 285 00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,190 Ugh! Thank you! 286 00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:20,800 -I need an army! -No! 287 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,470 That is 100% not what I was saying-- 288 00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,740 Oh, frick! 289 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,220 [Gordon] Citizens of Gotham! 290 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,540 You're here today because you answered the call. 291 00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:31,810 We have an opportunity 292 00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,980 to save our beloved Gotham City 293 00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:39,040 and get back our rightful place in the United States. 294 00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,290 That means clean water, fresh food, 295 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,350 and overpriced Internet providers! 296 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,390 [all cheering] 297 00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:48,320 But in order to do that, 298 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:52,460 we have to take down the scourge that is Harley Quinn. 299 00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,830 -Yes, Harley Quinn. -[man] All right! 300 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,530 Wait, are you cheering for Harley, 301 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,140 or cheering for taking down Harley? 302 00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,300 It's gotta be taking down, right? 303 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,500 [crowd cheering] 304 00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:03,340 [laughs] Okay. Good. 305 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:06,440 It was just the way I worded it, it wasn't... 306 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,280 Anyway. I... 307 00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:11,380 For too long we've allowed villains to run our lives, 308 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,420 and they destroyed our beautiful city. 309 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:17,050 Well, I will not let that stand, and neither will you! 310 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,280 -Who's with me? -[crowd cheering] 311 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,100 There was a war, vermin. 312 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,560 And I won. 313 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:32,000 Your future belongs to Darkseid now. 314 00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,370 [all grunting] 315 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,240 [screams] 316 00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,010 [all gasp] 317 00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:38,410 I'm giving your BAFTA to him. 318 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:41,110 [Darkseid] You seek an army, Harley Quinn? 319 00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,110 -Um-- -Are you capable of wielding such power? 320 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,120 -Yeah, I-- -The power to take away a people's confusion 321 00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,450 and replace it with obedience? 322 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,520 -Yes, I-- -To liberate a people 323 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,020 and give them one clear purpose. 324 00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:57,030 One goal, to die for your will. 325 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,930 Oh, you're done. Okay yes, totes to all that stuff. 326 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,370 Let me get that army! 327 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,840 Mr. Great and Powerful Darkseid. 328 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,010 I sense a great pain in you. 329 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,270 Nope, no pain. I'm good. 330 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:14,040 An anger, born from a want. 331 00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:15,840 A want that was not met. 332 00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,260 If we could just move on to the-- 333 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,450 Are you trying to fill an empty hole in your life, Harley Quinn? 334 00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:22,070 What is this guy, my therapist? 335 00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:26,590 There are some holes that not even an army of Parademons can fill. 336 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,460 Definitely not. All my holes are filled up to the brim. 337 00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:31,860 Nothing? Really? 338 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,200 Look, I'm just here for that army. 339 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,000 So, you know, what's the haps on that? 340 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,090 The dwarf did not tell you? 341 00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:40,370 Okay, I may have come up here at a different time to ask for an army. 342 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,970 -I didn't mention that? -No! 343 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,310 And I am a very active listener. 344 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,240 [Darkseid] You must prove yourself to me. 345 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,610 He was too cowardly to do so. 346 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,380 The task is simple. 347 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,920 Defeat Granny Goodness in combat, 348 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,450 and I will give her scepter to you, 349 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,520 which you will use to command the Parademons. 350 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,020 So, I just gotta beat up an old lady and I get an army? 351 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:06,860 -I can do that. -[loud thudding] 352 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,570 Prepare to die! 353 00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,000 [footsteps thudding] 354 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,370 And this is why I got cold feet. 355 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,440 You got this, Quinn. 356 00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:26,610 [grunting] 357 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,050 [both yelling] 358 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,490 Ah! 359 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,470 [grunting] 360 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,510 [gasps] I promised myself I'd never kill an old person. 361 00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,510 I'd let the American healthcare system do that. 362 00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,510 But we need to get Harley's back. 363 00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,180 I fear Darkseid clearly laid out the rules. 364 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:02,520 If she doesn't do it herself, she does not get the army. 365 00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,990 Don't worry, she's gonna do it herself. [cracks knuckles] 366 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,490 You fools! 367 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,630 You thought some little girl could defeat me? 368 00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:13,090 Now get ready for some cookies, milk, 369 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,570 and a lifetime of torture in Granny's dungeon. 370 00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,500 [laughs evilly] 371 00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,300 Prepare to die. 372 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,310 [laughing evilly] 373 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:29,080 Yes, still got it! 374 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,650 [groggily] Where am I? Did I do it? 375 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,760 Yes, Harley Quinn, you defeated Granny Goodness. 376 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,190 Yeah, you did. 377 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:43,260 Huzzah! Harley! You are a hero! 378 00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,530 It was so smart of her to play possum like that. 379 00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:49,670 You think she unconsciously flew through the air, idiots? 380 00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:54,730 Rise, Harley Quinn, commander of my Parademon army. 381 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,220 Aw! Thanks, D-Train. 382 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,380 Uh, Lord, sir. 383 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,070 All right! Y'all ready to hand Gordon his ass 384 00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:29,510 and show him once and for all that Harley Quinn is Gotham's true boss 385 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,240 and the baddest villain of all? 386 00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:32,710 [roaring] 387 00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,410 Yes. Yes! 388 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,780 Fuck, yes! 389 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,480 I mean, I did this, but also fuck, yes! 390 00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,480 Boomtube us home, psycho! 391 00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:46,360 I have to be honest, I am very scared about this whole thing. 392 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:50,160 As am I. You can't tell, but I've clayed myself. 393 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:53,360 [Latin music playing] 394 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,300 Whoa. Babe, you wanna get frisky right here? 395 00:16:58,370 --> 00:16:59,440 What about the 'rents? 396 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,570 Why do you let your parents treat you like shit? 397 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,070 What am I supposed to do? They're my parents. 398 00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,810 Let's do this again next week, Ivy, darling. 399 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,210 Don't worry, I already made a reservation, 400 00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:13,110 so Charles needn't cloud his mind with simple tasks. 401 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,420 -[both laugh] -You know what? 402 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,250 -Fuck you guys. -Beg your pardon? 403 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,690 Yeah, I said, fuck you. 404 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,460 Because first of all, I'm the one 405 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:21,190 who messed up the goddamn reservation, okay. 406 00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,090 Chuck asked me several times not to forget, 407 00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:25,330 because for some reason he cares about you two. 408 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:27,830 And then, he took the heat for it because he cares about me, 409 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,230 and for some reason, what you two think about me. 410 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,500 So, yeah! He's a kind, loving, supportive partner. 411 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:38,510 And the only miracle here is that you two ghouls somehow raised him. 412 00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,740 And another thing, he's not lucky to have me, 413 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,340 I'm lucky to have him! 414 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,880 So, fuck off! 415 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,220 Hell! Yeah! 416 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,150 -See you at the wedding? -[Poison Ivy chuckles] 417 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,790 Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Is that a Boom Tube? 418 00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,690 Uh. Sorry, just got excited and... [chuckles sheepishly] 419 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,430 No baby, not that. 420 00:17:58,490 --> 00:17:59,860 -That! -Looks like it's over the Dead Mall. 421 00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,860 Hang on, wait, which way... That's east... 422 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,730 No, it is. Oh, my God! 423 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,850 Harley! 424 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,220 Dad, you don't have to do this. 425 00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:25,620 If saving Gotham means I have to gun down another lady clown, 426 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,860 then so be it. 427 00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:27,860 Wait. What do you mean another-- 428 00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:31,530 [all yelling] 429 00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:33,860 [all grunting] 430 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:38,930 Oh! Probably be best if you turn around your merry band of meatbags. 431 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,900 And why the hell would I do that? 432 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,820 [Dr. Psycho laughs] 433 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,710 Gordo, I have a flying army from a hell planet under my control. 434 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:50,450 Well, I made my decision! And I never back down from my decisions. 435 00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:54,320 It's a terrible quality that has ruined most of my personal relationships, 436 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,380 so bring it! 437 00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,920 It's your funeral, old man. 438 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:58,690 -Uh-uh, it's yours. -Don't think so. 439 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,460 Well, I do think so. 440 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,490 Feels like you're overcompensating for something. 441 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,590 Why is everybody up my ass about that? 442 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,200 Nothing happened! 443 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:07,660 This is just my Wednesday, bitch. 444 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,400 -Not buying it. -I don't give a shit! 445 00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:12,230 [Dr. Psycho] Fuck, yes! 446 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:14,440 My God! Gaping sphincter in the sky. 447 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,470 [Dr. Psycho] I'm coming! 448 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,390 Tanks, now! 449 00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:25,750 [screeches] 450 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,680 Uh-oh. 451 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,870 [screeches] 452 00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:47,470 Ah! 453 00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,720 [laughing evilly] 454 00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:01,820 Harley! What the hell is going on here? 455 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,540 Yeah, while you were out gettin' brunch, 456 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:06,520 I was beating up an old lady to get a Parademon army from another galaxy. 457 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,020 You beat up an old lady? 458 00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,930 She was super jacked! 459 00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:12,000 And now I'm gonna take over all of Gotham! 460 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:15,730 So what, you really just want kill thousands of people just because? 461 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,870 Because I'm Harley fucking Quinn! 462 00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,400 I'm always doing crazy things! 463 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,340 Always being impetuous, you know? 464 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,870 Always kissing people and shit! 465 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,410 This is just my Wednesday. 466 00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,010 Yeah. It's actually Thursday. 467 00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:28,840 Anyway, look. You know me, I mean, I'm ride or die, but... 468 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:33,910 I mean, is this really the ride you envisioned? 469 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:37,720 [screeching] 470 00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:38,960 Uh, not exactly. 471 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,660 What's the endgame? 472 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,320 What do you really want? 473 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,430 What the hell are you doing? 474 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,470 No! 475 00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,780 [Harley] The city's yours, Gordo. 476 00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:06,350 I know what I want, and it's not this. 477 00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:10,050 We were gonna take over the fucking world and you're squandering it all! 478 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,990 [screams] Ow! [clanging] 479 00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,230 Are you kidding me? 480 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,090 Oh, I should have known this was too good to be true. 481 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:17,730 You got no balls, Quinn. 482 00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:18,890 Fuck this! 483 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,830 See you back at home? 484 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:23,600 No! I'm out of the crew. 485 00:21:23,670 --> 00:21:25,040 I fucking quit. See you never. 486 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,840 This mean I won? 487 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,540 I won! [laughs triumphantly] 488 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,370 This is why you don't back down, people! 489 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,480 Look, I can explain the whole Game of Thrones Khaleesi thing okay. 490 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,180 All... All this has just been me avoiding something 491 00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,920 that I need to talk to you about 492 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,920 and if I don't do it now, it will be too late. 493 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,890 Look, [sighs] if you really need to say it, just-- 494 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,120 Harley! Cool Parademons. 495 00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:51,060 Hey! Did Ivy tell you what she just did? 496 00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:53,430 How she's the coolest, hottest fiancee 497 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,970 a regular guy with superpowers like me could ever ask for? 498 00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:59,740 Well, I mean, I wasn't just gonna sit there and watch your parents be assholes 499 00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:01,870 to the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. 500 00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:03,140 Mmm! 501 00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:06,200 [metal creaking] 502 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,110 Oh, buddy! Those Parademons are dry humping a taco truck. 503 00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,880 I'm gonna go snap a pic for Insta. 504 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,520 Ah, man. I love that idiot. 505 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:15,480 -What were you gonna tell me, Harls? -Um... 506 00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:17,490 We need to talk about... 507 00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:20,720 What you wanna do for your bachelorette party! 508 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,230 Really? That's what you wanted to tell me? 509 00:22:22,230 --> 00:22:23,490 Yeah!