1 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,291 Okay. Marry, fuck, kill. 2 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,326 Kite Man, Mr. Freeze, Joker. 3 00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,829 Yeah, I mean, the first one is my fiancee, so, duh. 4 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,731 And then, the other two are dead, 5 00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,500 and one of them is your dead ex-boyfriend. So, gross and duh. 6 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,804 All right, last one. Two-Face, Killer Croc, Joker. 7 00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:39,139 Again, he's dead, so let's just... 8 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,606 No. No, it's Joker. 9 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,843 Holy shit. It's... 10 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,445 A totally unremarkable looking white guy. 11 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,715 Ive, I am telling you that is him, 12 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,317 just without his puke green hair and bleached white skin. 13 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,552 And maniacal laugh, blood lust in his eyes, 14 00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:54,088 and fire engine red lips? 15 00:00:54,112 --> 00:00:55,665 No, that was lipstick. He always stole mine. 16 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,856 Ugh! He was so annoying. 17 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,399 Like, hello, you can murder a family, 18 00:00:58,423 --> 00:00:59,869 but you're afraid to buy makeup on your own? 19 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,704 Harls, this guy does not look like 20 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,874 he was flattened by a thousand tons of steel and concrete 21 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,275 when a tower of his own image crushed him to death, 22 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:07,810 which is what happened to Joker, so... 23 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,679 Uh, his body was never found. 24 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,781 Haven't you seen those conspiracy videos on WayneTube? 25 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,816 Yeah, the one with the song raises some decent points. 26 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,343 But still, it's impossible that that guy is him. 27 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,346 Joker tried to throw me in that acid to undo me. 28 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:20,456 What if that's him undone? 29 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,290 Yeah, I think you're done. 30 00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:23,560 Babe, I'm telling you it's not him. 31 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,433 Oh, fuck, it's him! 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,772 - Do you think he saw us? - Oh, I hope he saw us, 33 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,573 because I want him to see the face of his murderer. 34 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,275 Hey! 35 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,701 Ivy, no! I just wanna leave without causing a scene, 36 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,469 for the first time in my life. 37 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,472 Whoa! 38 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,742 I'm so sorry. 39 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,554 Oh. Totally my fault. 40 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,647 It's not often we have bar patrons on the floor. 41 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,149 I should not have been daydreaming. 42 00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:57,885 Uh, about world domination? 43 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,418 Skintight purple suits? 44 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,563 Heavens, no! Purple clothes? 45 00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:03,489 I wish I was that bold. 46 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,459 No, I was just thinking about my kids. 47 00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:07,976 - Kids? - Say what? 48 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,838 Well, you know, they're my girlfriend's kids technically, 49 00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:11,330 but they feel like they're my kids. 50 00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,165 Here. Here's a picture. 51 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,536 - Harley. - You, you know who I am? 52 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,338 No. Just, it says "Harley" on your bat here. 53 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,841 - You almost left it. - Thanks. 54 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,811 Well, if you need extra napkins or water, 55 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,846 you know where to find me. Bye. 56 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,814 Joker always told me he hated kids. 57 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,282 You bought that whole act? 58 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:30,683 He is fucking with you. 59 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:31,927 I don't know what his game is, 60 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,471 but seriously, we should just kill him. 61 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,556 Yeah, I'm killing him. 62 00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:39,292 We can't kill a normie. 63 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,503 Maybe that acid changed him, you know, for reals. 64 00:02:41,527 --> 00:02:42,771 Last time you thought he changed, 65 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:44,432 he pushed you out of a helicopter. 66 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,834 This is totally different. We are not in a helicopter. 67 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,544 - People can't change. - I did. 68 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:49,979 Remember when I used to be a psychologist, 69 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,872 and I wore my hair up all the time? 70 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,716 Even then I could tell deep down you were a crazy bitch. 71 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:54,942 Aw. Thanks. 72 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,242 You are who you are at your core, 73 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,288 now and forever. 74 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,900 You're wrong, and I can prove it. 75 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,560 Ninety-nine, one hundred. Damn it. 76 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,927 Better luck next time, boy-o. 77 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,429 Two out of three, squats. 78 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:17,563 You're on! 79 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,872 Well, you must be Dr. Quinzel. 80 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,240 Pleasure to meet you. I'm... 81 00:03:27,306 --> 00:03:28,943 Harvey Dent, of course. 82 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:31,020 You're only the best district attorney Gotham's ever had. 83 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,513 And let's keep it that way at the polls tomorrow. 84 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:34,871 Can I count on your vote? 85 00:03:34,895 --> 00:03:36,650 It's important young people like you vote. 86 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,985 Well, I may be young, but you did call me in 87 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,543 to be the Joker's psychologist 88 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,299 because, you know, I studied his pathology more than anyone else. 89 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,858 Wrote my entire thesis paper on him, 90 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,235 but, hey, you know that. 91 00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:49,862 We never read your paper. Hell, we didn't even know you wrote one. 92 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,574 Oh, then... Then why did you hire me? 93 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,376 Because you're cheap and you've got a pulse, skirt. 94 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,877 Joker's chewed up every other shrink in Gotham. 95 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,537 Which is why this election is so important. 96 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,605 Take an extra for your mom. She'll love it. 97 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,608 I believe in you. 98 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,010 I won't let you down, sir. I'm sure in no time, I can... 99 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,854 We have no time. 100 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:08,048 That psychopath's planted a bomb somewhere in the city. 101 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,449 We need you to find out where before it goes kaboom! 102 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,686 We've only got 24 hours before the polls close. 103 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,123 Or the bomb goes off. 104 00:04:14,147 --> 00:04:15,899 What did I say, the polls? No, the bomb. The bomb. 105 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,533 Yes. No, I'm talking about the bomb. 106 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:18,701 Of course, I'm thinking about the bomb. 107 00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:19,805 Damn it! 108 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,341 What happened? Why does it look like 109 00:04:34,406 --> 00:04:36,343 a salad bar exploded? 110 00:04:36,408 --> 00:04:41,408 Sir, the cafeteria accidentally ordered living lettuce, sir. 111 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,437 Mr. Dent, you can't burn inmates. 112 00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:07,107 Not yet. But prop 17 113 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,877 gives an exciting, new definition to prisoners' rights. 114 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,132 What are you gawking at? 115 00:05:11,156 --> 00:05:12,846 Get to the Joker and find that bomb. 116 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,781 Remember, tomorrow at the polls, 117 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,348 yes on 17! 118 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,598 Riddle me this. 119 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,000 Who's in over her head 120 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,403 and should've majored in communication? 121 00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:38,504 Joke's on you. That was my minor. 122 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,939 Joke was on me. 123 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:43,509 I'm so sorry. 124 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,079 They shouldn't have done that. 125 00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:48,894 Fuck off, narc. 126 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,853 You ready, sugar? 127 00:06:13,505 --> 00:06:16,675 Hello, puddin'. 128 00:06:16,742 --> 00:06:17,887 - Puddin'? - Oh, shit. 129 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,579 I thought you brought my lunch. 130 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,557 Who's hungry for pudding? 131 00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,951 Joker, you're gonna eat the dessert first? 132 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,552 Ah ha! You know it, pal. 133 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,125 Word to the wise, Dr. Quinzel, 134 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,028 never end up in maximum security, 135 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,862 no matter how fun the crime is. 136 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,764 Eating alone is a real drag. 137 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,476 So, you know who I am? 138 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,937 I read your thesis. I thought it was pretty good. 139 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,139 Oh. 140 00:06:45,206 --> 00:06:46,773 For fan fic. 141 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,851 Darling, if you want to get the story right, 142 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,187 you have to go straight to the source. 143 00:06:50,211 --> 00:06:51,721 That's why I'm here. 144 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,988 An opportunity to set the record straight. 145 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,983 Well, that's very good. 146 00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:58,728 But you're here because you want me to dish about the bomb, 147 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,788 which is gonna go kaboom in two freckles past a hair. 148 00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,124 Ooh, that's soon. 149 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,591 Okay, you caught me. 150 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,269 So, if you're not gonna tell me where, 151 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,829 maybe you'd like to tell me why? 152 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,963 What? Look at this! 153 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,000 It's, like, five peas. 154 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,569 Seriously, what kind of nutrients 155 00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:17,713 am I going to get from five peas? 156 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,281 How about we take a step back and talk about 157 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:20,858 your obsession with the bat? 158 00:07:20,882 --> 00:07:23,402 What's that? I'm sorry. The speakers are getting a little fuzzy. 159 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,547 Where's Dr. Quinn's... 160 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:31,117 Peas... Puddin'? 161 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,153 Let me in the cell. I need to get on his level. 162 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,021 That's tough to do with bars between us. 163 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,891 - You mean the glass? - Whatever, Cheryl. Just do it. 164 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,658 Your funeral, sug. 165 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,865 There, the speakers aren't a problem anymore. 166 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,968 It's just you and me, 167 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,137 with nothing in between us. 168 00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:54,807 What? Hey! 169 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,278 What do we have here? Let me see. 170 00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:00,012 Mighty fine penmanship. Hmm. 171 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,548 Blah, blah, blah. "Insane." 172 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,884 Oh, yes. Blah, blah, blah. "Egomaniac." 173 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,752 Blah, blah. "Cute." 174 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,723 - I would never write that. - But I know you thought it. 175 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,826 People are afraid of you, but I'm not. 176 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,728 Somewhere inside that big clown is a human being. 177 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,997 - One that can be helped. - You're so right. 178 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,833 People are scared of me. 179 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,637 And for good reason. 180 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,538 No. 181 00:08:26,605 --> 00:08:28,750 Just to be clear about the bomb, 182 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,110 I'm not telling you shit. 183 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,647 Do not touch me. 184 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:35,881 Hey! 185 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:36,984 Ah! 186 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:39,753 You've got spunk. 187 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,188 I hate spunk. 188 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:48,294 An athlete and a scholar. 189 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,697 You're far too good for this dump. 190 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,101 Ah, well, I win. 191 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,808 Come back anytime, Harley. 192 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,052 Any idea how stupid that was? 193 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,831 It's a miracle he didn't kill you. 194 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,755 But he didn't. Joker wasn't trying to kill me, 195 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,024 he was testing me. 196 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,860 He's screwing with you, Quinzel. 197 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,227 Oh, what's the u... 198 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,096 You're done. Turn in your badge and gun. 199 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,865 I don't have those things. 200 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,933 Ah, right. Well, turn in your clipboard and glasses. 201 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,003 I know I can get through to him. 202 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,638 Give me one more chance. 203 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,048 - Well, what other option do we have? - Me. 204 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,941 Jesus! Was he here the whole time? 205 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,342 I'll make Joker talk. 206 00:09:42,948 --> 00:09:44,250 Where's the bomb? 207 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,019 Why don't you ask Robin? 208 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,089 Oh, wait. Jason Todd is dead, that's right, 209 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:52,326 because I killed him. 210 00:09:52,393 --> 00:09:54,360 Too soon? 211 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,311 - Licorice? - Oh, I could go for a red snack. 212 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,044 Oh, last one. 213 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,717 Leaving so soon, Batsy? 214 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,788 We were just revving up. 215 00:10:22,423 --> 00:10:24,301 He's a lost cause. 216 00:10:24,325 --> 00:10:26,235 We need to evacuate the city while there's still time. 217 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,428 No, we can't panic the voters. 218 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,197 Uh, the citizens. 219 00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:35,264 You still think you can get to him? 220 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,874 You bet I can. Just give me a minute. 221 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:43,177 So, got any plans for tonight, Batman? 222 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,422 Uh, stop Joker from blowing up Gotham. 223 00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:47,246 Yeah, of course. 224 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:49,883 I meant, like, after that. 225 00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:52,294 I want to ask you about Joker. 226 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,453 Just kill him already. 227 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,754 But then the bomb will go off. 228 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,056 People aren't worth saving. 229 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,325 Kill joker, kill people, kill yourself. 230 00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,961 Your file says you were in group therapy with Joker, 231 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,129 but all the notes are missing. What happened? 232 00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,432 Tough to take notes when you're getting murdered. 233 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,177 Joker killed the psychologist? 234 00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:09,836 Yeah, he really didn't want to talk about his family. 235 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,980 - Hmm. - And you know what? I don't wanna talk to you, 236 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,205 - so get out! - Thanks for the help. 237 00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,200 Back for more, Harley? 238 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:31,158 It's Dr. Quinzel. 239 00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:33,793 Well, Doc, you've got guts. 240 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,929 I'll give you that. But that's all you get. 241 00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,831 I don't wanna hear about the bomb. 242 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,076 I wanna hear about what makes you tick. 243 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,903 That's good. 244 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,203 And it's almost a joke. 245 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,041 Tell me about growing up. 246 00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:49,109 Oh, look who passed their freshman psychology class. 247 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,378 We're in an insane asylum. 248 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,057 Not a single person in here came from a happy home. 249 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,293 People around here seem to think you have real daddy issues. 250 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,818 Ha! Who told you that? 251 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,264 Was it Penguin? 252 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,457 That mutant orphan's the one with daddy issues. 253 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,960 Well, I can see this is just too painful for you. 254 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,794 - We can stop for today. - Painful? 255 00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:11,130 You think you can hurt me, sweetheart? 256 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,399 I've been hurt by the best. 257 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,902 Oh, please. Everyone's scarred by their childhood. 258 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,105 Not worse than me! 259 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:24,244 Fine. You wanna know how I got these emotional scars? 260 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,410 I'm listening. 261 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,350 All right. 262 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,797 I'll admit my parents weren't too fond of me. 263 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:35,922 What makes you think that? 264 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,076 Let me see. Quote. 265 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,894 "Son, we're not fond of you." 266 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,897 My parents were wealthy, but they never gave me much, 267 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,899 especially not their attention. 268 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,302 So, you must have spent a lot of time alone. 269 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,136 Well, I had Mr. Ferris. 270 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,538 Was he a role model for you? 271 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:54,307 He was a ferret, a beautiful beast. 272 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:58,544 With gorgeous ringed fur, Mr. Ferris, the ferret. 273 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,913 Being an only neglected child, 274 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,381 the pet was a brother to me. 275 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,216 We were inseparable. 276 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,086 Until one night, while Mummy was away, 277 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,889 I made the mistake of wandering into my father's study. 278 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,994 There I found dear, old Dad with our maid, naked. 279 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:17,364 He roared at me, so I rushed out, went straight to bed. 280 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:19,198 I hadn't even had supper. 281 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,835 After all, the maid was busy. 282 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,870 The next morning, I found Ferris's cage empty, 283 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:27,908 and Daddy above it with the widest smile I'd ever seen. 284 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,442 That day, my father took away 285 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,477 the one thing I'd ever loved. 286 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,423 Then he beat the shit out of me. 287 00:13:33,447 --> 00:13:35,591 I just remember him standing over me, punching and laughing, 288 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,884 laughing and punching, and punching. 289 00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:49,629 Personally, I never got what was so funny. 290 00:13:49,697 --> 00:13:52,198 But that's the thing about comedy. 291 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,500 Not everyone gets the joke. 292 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,537 You're not defined by your father. 293 00:13:56,604 --> 00:13:58,971 You don't have to destroy the world. 294 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,140 I can help you if you help me. 295 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:04,211 All right. I'll 'fess up about the bomb. 296 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,912 - But promise me one thing. - Of course. 297 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,381 I want to eat a normal meal like a normal person 298 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:12,596 in a normal insane asylum at the cafeteria and all. 299 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,530 Done. Next week, you can eat whatever you want. 300 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,457 No, no. No, it has to be tonight, 301 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,227 because I don't trust those assholes to keep your word. 302 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,096 - Licorice, Batman? - You said you were out. 303 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,498 - I found more. - Shut it. 304 00:14:24,565 --> 00:14:26,008 Tell me where the bomb is, 305 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,352 and you'll have that meal tonight. 306 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,937 I promise. 307 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,476 I believe you. 308 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,980 The bomb is in the heart of Little Italy. 309 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,581 Holy hell! She did it! 310 00:14:41,649 --> 00:14:43,237 Yeah, that's beginners' luck. 311 00:14:43,261 --> 00:14:45,562 That's the last time I'll underestimate a skirt with a PhD. 312 00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:47,287 I'm gonna win the election. 313 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,264 Men in prison, get everyone over to Little Italy. 314 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:50,990 - Pronto! - That's Italian. 315 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,626 We can carpool, right? Global warming, it's an issue. 316 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,461 I, of course, can't go. 317 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,998 Me around an armed bomb? Bad photo op. 318 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,433 But do anything it takes to stop that bomb. 319 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,970 The voters thank you. 320 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,172 You still alive? 321 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,539 Guess I owe Riddler a 20. 322 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,283 Joker 'fessed up, thanks to you. 323 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,476 - I didn't do anything. - You told me about his family. 324 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,655 That was nothing. And I wouldn't have even told you about it 325 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,222 if I knew you were gonna be so smug about it. 326 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,948 Like it or not, you helped me. 327 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,284 Everyone needs a friend. 328 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,288 And since you want humans wiped from the face of the earth... 329 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,590 Right. So, you cut a plant for me? 330 00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:28,657 - I could kill you with this. - Yeah, you could. 331 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,341 You know, if I dip my shoulder, 332 00:15:46,365 --> 00:15:48,291 I could just squeeze right into that little space up front. 333 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:51,116 - No. - No? Yeah, dumb idea. Dumb. 334 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,712 Yoo-hoo! 335 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,272 Hey, I think that child lock is on. 336 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,140 Yeah, we're here. 337 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,745 The heart of Little Italy, you son of a bitch. 338 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,279 There's nothing here, Jim. There's no bomb. 339 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,337 Damn it. 340 00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:23,683 As long as we're here, you want to try the fresh mozz, 341 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,452 or some brajoot, as they say? 342 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,158 Hey, so I was thinking, if you're interested, 343 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,761 maybe I'll turn that thesis of mine into a full novel. 344 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,330 There it is. 345 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,799 You play naive, but you're better than that. 346 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,201 You never cared about the bomb, did you? 347 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,570 You just wanted your story. 348 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,706 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 349 00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:48,207 You're naughty, Dr. Quinzel. 350 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,711 - What happened to Harley? - Well, Harley, I'm game. 351 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,380 That is, if I can call this our first date. 352 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,519 - What's with the Italian? - Oh, that's Luigi. 353 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,522 His food's the reason I keep coming back to Arkham. 354 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:04,033 I mean, him and Batman. 355 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:07,326 See, Luigi's got a bit of a nickname around here. 356 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:10,063 Little Italy. 357 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,699 It feels no good. 358 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:14,601 The flavor, really, just explodes in your mouth. 359 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,306 Paint my toenails. 360 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:20,708 You're not gonna believe this. 361 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,710 The bomb was in a guy named Little Italy. 362 00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,144 - Luigi. - Wait. 363 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,179 Where are you going, Dark Knight? 364 00:17:27,815 --> 00:17:30,349 Why don't we dine al fresco? 365 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,221 Where is he? 366 00:17:40,728 --> 00:17:42,328 You lying asshole! 367 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,798 I told everyone exactly where the bomb was, 368 00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:47,500 but you were the only one who got the joke. 369 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,801 Oh, my God! You're insane. 370 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,838 Please, I gave you what you wanted, a story. 371 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,574 The story. 372 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,209 Clown price of crime kidnaps hotshot psychologist. 373 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,111 Her tell-all sells millions. 374 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,213 Baby, I'm about to make you a star. 375 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,775 Not if they kill us first. 376 00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:05,160 They're not going to kill me, because they won't kill you. 377 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:08,355 Honestly, you're safer here than back at that looney bin. 378 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:11,100 - Take the shot. - Sir, I can't without hitting her. 379 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,302 Who gives a fuck? I can't win this goddamn election 380 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,893 if Joker escapes on my watch! 381 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,410 - Ivy, you saved me! - Say what? 382 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,780 I always knew you had a special place in your heart for the Joker. 383 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,549 Not you, asshole. 384 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,385 Not bad for a first date, eh, puddin'? 385 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,488 Are, are you okay, or whatever? 386 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:42,789 Why did you save me? 387 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,724 No one's ever given me a gift before, 388 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,428 I mean, not to mention a plant. So, that was nice. 389 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,634 Kill them all! 390 00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:07,180 Uh... I surrender. 391 00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:14,597 Ow! 392 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,867 So, Doc, I was thinking of seeing a new therapist, 393 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,267 if you could recommend, uh... 394 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:20,594 - I'd love to. - Cool. 395 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,900 Dr. Quinzel, thank God you're all right. 396 00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:28,535 Phew! 397 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:29,903 Crazy night, huh? 398 00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,403 But it's a happy ending. 399 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,373 Joker's captured, I'll win re-election, 400 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,843 and you've earned yourself a promotion. Congrats. 401 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,309 We good? 402 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,227 Fuck off, Two-Face. 403 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,030 Bullshit. You came up with Two-Face? 404 00:19:47,054 --> 00:19:48,922 And not a single royalty. 405 00:19:48,989 --> 00:19:51,399 - Ugh. - Ive, you said humanity wasn't worth saving, 406 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,436 but then you saved me, a human. 407 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,900 Even though it meant another year in Arkham. I mean, thusly... 408 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,873 - Don't say thusly. - I changed you, 409 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,333 which proves your core can change. 410 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,734 Harley wins again. 411 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:02,803 God, you're so smug. 412 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,771 Harley, you didn't change me. 413 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,448 You helped me, sure, you know, 414 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:07,883 but I didn't always hate people. 415 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,318 It wasn't until Mr. Ferris died. 416 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,978 Mr. Ferris? You mean Joker's Ferris? 417 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:12,589 No, I mean Mr. Ferris, the ficus. 418 00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,389 - He was my first plant. - I don't understand. 419 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,717 Harls, that was my story. I told it in group therapy. 420 00:20:16,784 --> 00:20:18,018 Joker probably just stole it 421 00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:19,796 and weirdly changed it into a ferret. 422 00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:23,423 What? I spent so much money on ferret paraphernalia over the years. 423 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,625 His custom Christmas stocking was a ferret. 424 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:29,405 Well, as always, Joker lied, surprising no one but you. 425 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,706 The first time my father hit me, 426 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,701 that's when I gave up on humans. 427 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,701 Until I met you. 428 00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:36,936 You never told me, Ive. I'm sorry. 429 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,905 Yeah, it was a long time ago. 430 00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:40,606 So, what are we gonna do about him? 431 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,344 We call in a tie-breaker. 432 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:51,012 - Oh, nice unit. - Uh, can I help you? 433 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:55,721 Hmm. Sugar, sugar, sugar. 434 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,758 Nope. Oh, why not? I'll splurge. 435 00:20:57,825 --> 00:21:00,760 Oh, boy. This is way too stylish. 436 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:03,329 Okay. There. Ah, that's normal. 437 00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,365 Where's my new, old lucky sock? 438 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,700 There you are, buddy. 439 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,402 Ho! 440 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,439 What just happened? 441 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,974 Ugh! 442 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,542 He really loves those kids. 443 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,811 - That is disgusting. - Ugh! I hated seeing it. 444 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,676 And case closed. 445 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:23,525 He's got zero memories from before the tower collapsed. 446 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,893 - You're welcome. - All right, all right. 447 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,529 I was wrong. The old Joker is gone. 448 00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:28,130 I guess the acid really did change him. 449 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,390 Which is why I just smoke joints. 450 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,859 Fuck you. That was a good one. 451 00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,028 Papa needs his nap. 452 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,430 I guess this is goodbye. 453 00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:49,910 - Oh, jeez. - Shoot. 454 00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:52,046 Okay, enough. 455 00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:53,980 Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy. 456 00:21:54,048 --> 00:21:56,650 Good news, I'm the DA again. 457 00:21:56,717 --> 00:21:59,920 Bad news, you're under arrest. 458 00:22:17,871 --> 00:22:18,871 Oh.