1 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,628 My fellow Americans, it's been decades 2 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:31,364 since Gotham City once exemplified American prosperity. 3 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:34,468 But one week ago, it hit the point of no return 4 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,402 when the Joker seized control 5 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,304 and instituted martial law. 6 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,673 -[static on tv] -Last night, 7 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,475 his base of operations, the Joker Tower, 8 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,100 came crashing to the ground, 9 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,646 triggering an 8.6 earthquake that leveled the city. 10 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,781 Sadly, Gotham is beyond saving. 11 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,084 -[all gasp] -So it is with a heavy heart 12 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,654 that I hereby declare that Gotham City 13 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,289 is no longer part of the United States. 14 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,859 It is civitas non grata. 15 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,127 God bless the United States of America, 16 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,829 and God help Gotham City. 17 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:06,533 Fuck yeah! 18 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,468 [theme music playing] 19 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:11,837 -[horn blaring] -[tires screeching] 20 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,375 [dogs snarling] 21 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,409 [moaning] 22 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,343 [straining] 23 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,394 [grunt] 24 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,590 Honk honk, motherfuckers! 25 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,125 [horn blaring] 26 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,528 [horn approaching] 27 00:01:37,563 --> 00:01:39,132 Home, sweet home. 28 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,569 Good job, my little baby drivers. 29 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,771 I got a treat for ya. 30 00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:47,908 Now, Bud and Lou, don't you fight. 31 00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,843 There's one for each of ya. 32 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,510 And for my big babies, 33 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,480 I brought dinner! 34 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:54,748 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 35 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,415 Those beasts get steak 36 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,850 and we gotta eat this guy? 37 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,819 Are we living in a mall or a zoo? 38 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,822 I like to think of it as both now. 39 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:03,290 No, we're not eating him. 40 00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:05,257 This is Takashi, a sushi chef. 41 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,227 He's got a Michelin star! [grunts] 42 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,360 I gotta admit, 43 00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,695 I was excited to eat a person, 44 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,231 especially since I already had sushi, 45 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,400 but I guess it's fine. 46 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,935 Come here! 47 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,670 Takashi, would it be gauche to ask for a spider roll, 48 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,438 or are you strictly omakase? 49 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:22,175 Ive, are you not jazzed about sushi? 50 00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:24,443 No, no. I mean, I like Takashi's hand rolls 51 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:25,611 as much as the next gal, 52 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:26,913 but don't you think it's time 53 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,414 to kinda like wrap up this party up? 54 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:29,650 You know, it's been three weeks 55 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,717 since you took down Joker. 56 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:31,919 There's no Legion of Doom. 57 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,000 No Batman. 58 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,587 Gotham is yours for the taking. 59 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,423 I am having a blast! 60 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,191 This is what I've always wanted, Ive. 61 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,259 Anarchy and sushi! 62 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,429 [horn blares] 63 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,931 Yeah, I mean, you definitely could've had better sushi 64 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,633 when Gotham had refrigeration 65 00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,634 and free trade with the rest of America, but... 66 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,503 [blech] Is this a bird? 67 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:51,569 Trust me. Seriously, 68 00:02:51,569 --> 00:02:52,673 you're gonna be kicking yourself 69 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,855 if you don't take charge. 70 00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:56,543 Ive, the best part of living in an apocalyptic wasteland 71 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,478 is no one's in charge. 72 00:02:58,544 --> 00:02:59,544 Whoo! 73 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,480 [horn blares] 74 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,349 It's chaos, baby! 75 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,854 It's like 'Nam after the U.S. pulled out. 76 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,389 -[explosions] -[sighs] 77 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,691 I don't think it's exactly like that. 78 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,758 But it is pretty awesome. 79 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,961 Hey! You're on Penguin turf. 80 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,729 Get the hell outta here. 81 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,296 The hell ya talking 'bout? 82 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,966 Penguin called dibs on the mall. 83 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,467 Uh, we've been chilling at the mall for, like, ever! 84 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,503 And dibs? There's no dibs. 85 00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,338 The city's in ruins, idiot. 86 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,540 It's a post-dibs world. 87 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,308 Nobody owns nothing. 88 00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:30,342 Except for me! 89 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:31,444 I own this mall. 90 00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,580 It's chaos, baby! 91 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:37,349 It's like 'Nam after the U.S. pulled out. 92 00:03:37,349 --> 00:03:39,000 -[explosion] -[frustrated] Stop, stop, stop! 93 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,252 [softly] No flashbacks. 94 00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:41,487 So you go back to the Penguin 95 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,855 and tell him to go screw himself. 96 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,491 -[grunt] -[chomps] 97 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,557 Hey, Takashi. 98 00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:47,728 Can you incorporate this into a rainbow roll? 99 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,963 Light on the rice. [laughs] 100 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,300 I'm watching my figure. 101 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,566 Harley, this is what's going to happen 102 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,854 if you don't take control. 103 00:03:53,854 --> 00:03:56,269 Every one of these assholes has an army of goons 104 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,305 that they're just gonna keep sending until they take over the city. 105 00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,939 I think you may be catastrophizing. 106 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,008 [explosion] 107 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,945 Hey! You're on Two-Face's turf. 108 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,881 Don't make that face at me. 109 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:08,949 Fine, I'll deal with it. 110 00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:11,518 Listen up, goons! 111 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,620 Excuse me, I identify as a hench. 112 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,656 Listen up, goons and henches, 113 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,591 the world we know has ended. 114 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,560 The Justice League is kaput, the Legion of Doom is doomed, 115 00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,463 and Joker's had his last laugh. 116 00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,966 This is our chance to even the playing field. 117 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,502 You! Who do you work for? 118 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,069 The Riddler. Obviously. 119 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,704 Seriously? Two-Face. Come on. 120 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,040 But why? 121 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,309 What have those assholes ever done for you? 122 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,778 Joker treated me like shit, 123 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,411 until I decided I'd had enough 124 00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,014 and took him down. 125 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,482 And look at me now. 126 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,851 It is time to rise up! 127 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,987 Everyone should be their own villain. 128 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,922 Don't work for the Penguin, 129 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,124 be the Penguin. 130 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,557 Over here, the hench... 131 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,026 I've got a two part question for ya. 132 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,827 Are you saying we should become the Penguin, 133 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,396 or that we should do stuff like him? 134 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,497 Up to you, goo... 135 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,831 [blech] ...hench. 136 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,432 This is New Gotham. 137 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,036 The power isn't held by the few, 138 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,502 it's up for grabs. 139 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,838 So everyone should go get some. 140 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,007 -[belching] -[glass shattering] 141 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,107 [all cheering] 142 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,550 Everybody on the floor! 143 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,052 No, yous get on the floor. 144 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,519 Phil, the fuck is going on? 145 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:21,754 [guns cocking] 146 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,456 [hesitantly] Hi. Hey, I'm Steven, 147 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,690 I'm the shift manager. 148 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,560 Uh, are we being robbed, or are you? 149 00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,595 Plus also, the bank was just robbed 15 minutes ago 150 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,997 by someone who said he was, quote, 151 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:30,997 "Penguin like." 152 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,365 [growls] 153 00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,367 Two-Face double crossed by his own goo-- 154 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,702 [cackles] 155 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:39,740 Citizens of New Gotham, riddle me this... 156 00:05:39,805 --> 00:05:41,608 Citizens of New Gotham... 157 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,677 Craig? What the hell are you doing? 158 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,778 [chuckles] Who is this Craig you speak of? 159 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,982 I am the Inquizitor-or-or-- 160 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,084 Craig, get off the air! 161 00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:51,685 Here's a quizzy quiz. 162 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,653 Who's not my boss anymore? 163 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,088 You! 164 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,057 We're cutting in live from Penguin's casino 165 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,925 and looks like I'm the big winner today. 166 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,961 Come and get it, New Gotham! 167 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,100 [Penguin] Are we all here? 168 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,168 [sighs] We're missing one. 169 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,137 [dramatic music plays] 170 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,973 [gun cocking] 171 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,507 [ice shatters] 172 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,077 [German accent] Your door is inoperable. 173 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,646 It's a pull! 174 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,747 Uh... My bad. 175 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,149 -This guy... -Gentlemen, 176 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,182 thank you for coming. 177 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:24,985 Let me cut to the chase. 178 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,620 Harley Quinn's goon rebellion 179 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,790 -...is destroying our way of life. -[grunts] 180 00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:31,625 Stupid coffee machine! 181 00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,127 It's impossible to figure out! 182 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,661 We need goons! 183 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,831 Well... well, I loosened it up. 184 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,098 Can I ask you a serious question? 185 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,134 Why are you so stupid? 186 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,002 Incredibly, Bane is right. 187 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,637 Not about the coffee maker, but we need goons! 188 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,439 Now they all think they're us. 189 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,040 If everyone's a villain, then no one is. 190 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,910 And we need to get them back in line. 191 00:06:49,911 --> 00:06:51,745 We need structure. Right fellas? 192 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,279 We can't run organized crime... 193 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,115 Uh... I'm not in organized crime. 194 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,682 I'm actually trying to find a cure 195 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,617 for my wife's terminal illness. 196 00:06:58,685 --> 00:06:59,952 And how are you funding that? 197 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,954 Uh. Through organized crime. 198 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:06,160 Exactly... which we can't do with Harley leading this insurrection! 199 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:09,495 We need to get her on board and get our goons back! 200 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:12,132 Uh... one note, one small note. 201 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,533 Maybe we should have invited her to this? 202 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,401 -What? -Shut it, Bane. 203 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,875 [rumbling] 204 00:07:24,543 --> 00:07:27,113 Come on, come on. I know you're out there, buddy. 205 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,132 [thunderclap] 206 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:34,922 [grunts] 207 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,490 Robin? 208 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,959 No! This is the Bat-Signal, not the Robin-Signal. 209 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,494 Get out of here! Shoo, shoo! 210 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,029 Will you stop shooing me! 211 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,029 Batman is missing. 212 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,300 [dramatic gasp] What? 213 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,100 He was in the Joker Tower when it fell... 214 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,901 And I haven't heard from him since. 215 00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:49,937 Oh, my God! 216 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:50,937 Did you try texting him? 217 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,939 Of course I tried texting him. 218 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:53,874 What am I, 40? 219 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,175 Course! Could... 220 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,742 you share that contact info with me? 221 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,211 [hesitantly] Yeah. He wouldn't like that. 222 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,781 Plus that would mean you have my info, too. 223 00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,649 C'mon! The city's falling apart! 224 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,218 -We need Batman, damn it! -Whoa, whoa... 225 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,220 He's gone. 226 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,620 Which is why I'm here. 227 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,555 'Cause I'm ready to take up the mantle. 228 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:10,723 [snarls] I'm Batman. 229 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,192 [blech] 230 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,093 [grunts] 231 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,663 Ow! That's thick plastic! 232 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,697 Slipped. 233 00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,033 Can you just toss that back? 234 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,033 -There's a little left in it. -[grunt] 235 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:23,971 Where are you, Batman? 236 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,809 [squeaking] 237 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,610 [King Shark] Oh, come on. Let me pet you! 238 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,011 I want to teach you love. 239 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,114 Hey Takashi, you're gonna freak! 240 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,582 I got the last fresh ginger in Gotham 241 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,650 just like you asked! 242 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,951 [excitedly] Ginger! 243 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,019 Hip, hip, hooray! 244 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,654 Holy shit! 245 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,623 It's about time, what took you so long? 246 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,557 Hey, you know, it's pretty rough out there, okay? 247 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,061 I had to fight five new question-based villains. 248 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,596 Uh... [clears throat] 249 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:50,697 Harley, a word. 250 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,166 Is it "congratulations"? 251 00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,801 I stopped all the villains by liberating the goons. 252 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,070 Harls, this was your chance to control the city, 253 00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:00,807 but now instead of like five big assholes trying to run Gotham, 254 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,243 we've got a thousand little assholes to deal with. 255 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,878 Ugh, you worry too much, Ive. 256 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,980 Um... 257 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,815 You know, I think I'm worrying like the perfect amount, to be honest. 258 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,116 Thanks, Lou. What'd ya bring me? 259 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,052 "Harley Quinn, you are cordially invited 260 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,254 to attend the inaugural meeting of the Injustice League." 261 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,590 What is the Injustice League? 262 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,059 I believe it is a play on "Justice League." 263 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,163 Boy, will they have a juicy lawsuit on their hands. 264 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,999 Wonder woman is very litigious. Trust me. 265 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,368 This is bullshit. 266 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,427 The city's supposed to be chaos! 267 00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:32,839 You know, I'm trying to be less of a know-it-all, so I'm just gonna go read. 268 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:33,907 [excitedly] I can't, it's killing me, 269 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,274 I told you so! Okay, 270 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,342 [inhales deeply] Whoo! 271 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,144 Now I'm going to go read. 272 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,346 [Harley Quinn] Hey motherfuckers. 273 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,248 Look at that, gang's all here. 274 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,895 Freeze, been a minute. 275 00:09:42,895 --> 00:09:45,618 Bane, good to see you on your feet after the Legion went boom. 276 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:50,090 Luckily I was away, dog sitting for my Aunt Linda's girlfriend. 277 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,259 [softly] We're very supportive. 278 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,259 Aw, that's nice. 279 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,558 So, what's the deal? 280 00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:56,263 You guys get invites to this Injustice League dealio too? 281 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,000 -Actually, Harley... -[ominous instrumental music] 282 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,100 Tada! 283 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,636 Wait, wait. You guys are the Injustice League? 284 00:10:03,702 --> 00:10:05,739 We had time to get a banner made, 285 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,841 but not enough to find one more executive chair? 286 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,311 Oh, again with the swivel chair. 287 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,980 Your recklessness forced us to band together 288 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,081 to restore order in the criminal underworld. 289 00:10:15,149 --> 00:10:16,817 There's gotta be a hierarchy. 290 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:17,817 Exactly! 291 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,686 It goes supervillains, sidekicks, 292 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,654 goons that went to Harvard, and then goons. 293 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,190 Okay. That's just the same old shit. 294 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,024 I mean. This is a chance to do something new. 295 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,059 Much gratitude for the segue. 296 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,928 Feast your eyes on new... 297 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,062 New Gotham. 298 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,331 Hmm? 299 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,434 Not. Interested. 300 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,003 [exclaims] Whoa. Hey! 301 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,837 Where did this map come from? 302 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,240 I'm still on a goddamn folding chair. 303 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,774 Jesus, Bane. 304 00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,076 we all thought it would be funny 305 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,445 if we gave you a folding chair... 306 00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:45,812 -...and we were right! -[Two-Face laughs] 307 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,813 Oh, I see your joke now. 308 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,316 Your... 309 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,783 jest will be avenged. 310 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,719 [uninterested] Anyway... 311 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,200 we've divided up Gotham. 312 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,057 Each of us will control a territory where we make our own rules. 313 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,160 Which you could have seen if we still had the map. 314 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,263 Guess which part was gonna yours? 315 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,731 Hint, the bad part. [laughs] 316 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,902 I took out Joker, so I make the rules. 317 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,403 And this shit won't fly. 318 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:14,971 -It ain't happening. -Told ya. 319 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,049 [Harley Quinn] Ivy, are you there? 320 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,049 Can you hear me? 321 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,049 Where am I? 322 00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,251 Riddle me this... 323 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,921 Who's the biggest fool of all? 324 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:31,725 You! For wasting your only chance to rule Gotham. 325 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,826 [cackles] 326 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,763 If you'd just played the game, you wouldn't have ended up like this. 327 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,065 [laughs] 328 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,267 You did this to yourself. 329 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,869 [mumbling] 330 00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,908 You'll never be one of us. 331 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,943 You're just a sad, pathetic clown. 332 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,779 [all laughing] 333 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,482 [screaming] 334 00:11:59,287 --> 00:12:00,287 [grunt] 335 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,287 [groans] 336 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:03,423 [gun firing] 337 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,325 We're getting destroyed out there, men! 338 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,392 And Cheryl. [sighs] 339 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,394 I know it seems like the bad guys have won, 340 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,464 but I'm here to tell you they haven't. 341 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,399 Batman's still out there. 342 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,399 Somewhere. 343 00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:18,404 [exhales] I know things seem bleak. 344 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,907 We're being hunted by villains and citizens alike. 345 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,322 No food, no power. 346 00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:26,113 I mean, my God, there's only coconut flavored sparkling water in the vending machines. 347 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,416 Oh, Cheryl! 348 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,418 I kind of like it. [chuckles] 349 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,486 America may have turned its back on us, 350 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,054 and chaos fills the streets... 351 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,157 we're still Gotham's finest. 352 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:42,562 We have a job to do, and God damn it, we're gonna do it! 353 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,200 [all cheering] 354 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,234 Now you get out there and you take back your town... 355 00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:50,870 -Our town-- -[gun fires] 356 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,806 I'm taking over this police department. 357 00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:55,341 Like cheeseballs you are! You don't have the authority! 358 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,673 [men groaning] 359 00:12:56,673 --> 00:12:58,945 Anyone else itching to get shot in their privates? 360 00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:00,212 [moaning] 361 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,847 Hey... guys... 362 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:02,881 [chuckles] 363 00:13:02,881 --> 00:13:03,917 All right, Gordon, 364 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,418 I'm a fair guy. 365 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,522 Heads you live and we'll call it time served. 366 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:09,889 Tails and we'll-- 367 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,325 -[screams] -[gun fires] 368 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,596 [gasping] 369 00:13:15,663 --> 00:13:17,297 You won't get away with this, Dent. 370 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,432 I already have. 371 00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:20,067 Give my love to Barb. 372 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,368 I'll be back. 373 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,337 And I'm bringing the Batman with me! 374 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,508 Ugh. Jesus Christ, coconut. 375 00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:30,043 ♪ You're a cop, You're damn good cop ♪ 376 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,945 ♪ Saving the city With Batman ya ♪ 377 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,413 ♪ Ain't gonna stop ♪ 378 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,615 ♪ You're a cop, cop, cop ♪ 379 00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:36,549 ♪ You're a damn-good-cop! ♪ 380 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,716 Bah, bah, bah! 381 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,572 [tires screech] 382 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,203 Come on and get me, you crazy fucks! 383 00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,140 Ben? And Cheryl? 384 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,475 On your knees, Jimbo! 385 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,145 The hell do you think you're... 386 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:07,280 Why would you do this? 387 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,450 You're cops. 388 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,451 There ain't no cops no more, old man. 389 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,052 We're Bane boys now. 390 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,121 Things change quick on these mean streets. 391 00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:16,456 [groans] 392 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,606 [chuckles] Let's jet! 393 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,513 [dejected] You're a damn good... 394 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,279 [sobs] ...nothing. 395 00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:51,057 [music blaring] 396 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,360 [people screaming] 397 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,498 Hey, Mr. Penguin! 398 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,365 Good to see you, Mr. Penguin! 399 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,168 How ya doing tonight, Mr. Penguin? 400 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,003 Fine, fine. 401 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,171 [woman giggles] 402 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,472 Hey. Sex upstairs later? 403 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,140 [laughs] 404 00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,277 Oh. It's good to be the Penguin. 405 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,245 Mr. Penguin, good to see yo-- 406 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,780 -[groans] -Okay, that's too many people 407 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,615 saying hello to me. It feels disingenuous. 408 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:16,716 Ahhh... 409 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,052 I actually meant it... 410 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,086 [elevator dings] 411 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,357 Why so blue, Harley? [laughs] 412 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,259 It's a party for Christ's sake! 413 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,727 [cackles] 414 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,261 Monsieur Penguin, 415 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,964 uh, what can I get for you? 416 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,231 Where's Jeffrey? 417 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,701 [nervously] You kil... killed him? 418 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,501 Oh, that does sound like me. 419 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,639 Would you like some champagne? 420 00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:43,243 To celebrate your taking back the city? 421 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:48,114 Perhaps make a little toast to your magnificent self? 422 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,448 Mmm, why not! 423 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:50,616 [mumbling] 424 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,686 The bird has taken the worm. 425 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:54,321 -Tweet, tweet. -[King Shark] Tweet, tweet. 426 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,589 -I'm here. -[Clayface] And? 427 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,157 And I'm not saying "tweet, tweet." 428 00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,591 She said it! [laughs] 429 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,125 [Sy] But one birdie left... 430 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,495 Tweet, tweet, baby. 431 00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:02,528 We're ready. 432 00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,063 Let's hatch this egg. 433 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,198 Ladies and gentlemen! 434 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,100 We're killing it. 435 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,035 We put down the goon rebellion 436 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,339 and they're thanking us for it. 437 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,274 We carved up the city 438 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,509 and they're thanking us for it. [laughs] 439 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,577 Sy, smoke, smoke! 440 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,145 Right! On it. [clicks] 441 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,481 So I'd just like to raise a glass and... 442 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,083 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 443 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,753 You back there, sit down. I'm talking. 444 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,354 [Clayface over phone] Stall Sy, stall. 445 00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,255 -[Penguin] As I was saying... -Eh... Uh... 446 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,390 Hey, excuse me! 447 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,693 -We got a birthday boy tonight. -What? 448 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,461 And a one... And a two. 449 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,565 -[plays piano] -♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 450 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,467 [Poison Ivy] Okay Psycho, nice and easy. 451 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,570 -[Sy continues singing] -Easy! Careful. Careful! 452 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,371 [Sy] ♪ Happy birthday dear... ♪ 453 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,399 ♪ ...Penguin! ♪ 454 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,508 Can I call you Penguin? 455 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:48,575 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 456 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,243 All right guys, let's go. 457 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,311 It's not my birthday. 458 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,580 ♪ And many more! ♪ 459 00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,816 I said it's not my birthday. 460 00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,217 And can we lighten up on the damn smoke? 461 00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,586 As I was saying... 462 00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:00,687 thanks to me, 463 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,087 and of course 464 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,057 everyone's favorite ice sculpture, 465 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,157 Harley Quinn. 466 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,224 [crowd gasps] 467 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,499 Stop them! 468 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,167 All right, we gotta make this extraction as gentle as possible. 469 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,270 Okay. We can't rattle her because her life is in the balance, okay. 470 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:19,539 Ahhh! [groans] 471 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,641 Look what you made me do. 472 00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:25,357 Okay, this is not a good start. 473 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,082 [screaming] 474 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:29,884 [happily] Oh, hey, Ive. 475 00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,417 Harls! Hi. You okay? 476 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,685 How are you feeling? 477 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,756 [yells] Get me the fuck outta this! 478 00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,691 Everybody stand back! 479 00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:39,459 Hit it, Sy. 480 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,526 -[grunt] -[tires screech] 481 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,760 [laughs] 482 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,201 -[grunt] -[groans] 483 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:52,806 Have at me! 484 00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:55,107 Somebody free my swinging arm! 485 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:57,577 Fire finger, flame begin! 486 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,281 -Ha! [grunt] -[groaning] 487 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,185 [men screaming] 488 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:07,487 [Harley Quinn] Sweep the leg Johnny! 489 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,589 [cackles] 490 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:14,655 -[men groaning] -[Harley Quinn laughs] 491 00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:16,896 [grunt] 492 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,265 -[screaming] -[gun firing] 493 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,332 [groans] 494 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,169 [ice screeching] 495 00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:27,273 Harley... 496 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,339 I always thought 497 00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:29,742 -you were a sidekick. -[struggling] 498 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,478 A goon with a name. 499 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,679 But I was wrong. 500 00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:33,780 [grunt] 501 00:18:34,816 --> 00:18:35,816 Asshole. 502 00:18:35,816 --> 00:18:37,284 You're a mistake. 503 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:38,919 A mutation. 504 00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,421 Thankfully, nature has graced us with a solution 505 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:45,224 to the Harley Quinn problem, survival of the fittest. 506 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,291 [groans] 507 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,696 [sobbing] My beautiful nose! 508 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,531 -[screams] -[grunts] 509 00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,700 [laughs] 510 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,269 Without your bat, 511 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,203 you're just a defrosted gymnast! 512 00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,772 Eat grenades, Harley! 513 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,907 Take that! 514 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,541 -[laughs] -[grunting] 515 00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:08,515 I knew we should have killed you from the start... 516 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,250 [Harley Quinn] Yeah, you really blew it. 517 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,818 Over here. 518 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,586 No stupid, over here! 519 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,656 Oh, sorry you missed me, fucking idiot. 520 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,722 Over here. 521 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:18,858 No. Oops! 522 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,226 -No. Wrong way. -[exclaims] 523 00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,328 Oh, you're so fucking stupid. 524 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,596 [sighs in relief] 525 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,464 [moaning] 526 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,566 [gurgling] 527 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,270 [men groan] 528 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:32,006 Hey Harley, are you-- 529 00:19:32,006 --> 00:19:33,306 Ooh, yikes. 530 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,407 It's about to get way more "yikes." 531 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:36,643 Ahhh! 532 00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:37,944 [death sigh] 533 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,711 Yeah, that was definitely more "yikes." 534 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,715 Can we go get coffee? 535 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,496 Oh. Uh... 536 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,420 I let the emotions get the best of me earlier. 537 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,587 This is a minor setback. 538 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,200 Here's what we're gonna do. 539 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,291 Go to your brother's house, get his old scuba gear, 540 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,294 we fish my badge out of Gotham Harbor. 541 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:59,332 Then, this right here... the new GCPD headquarters. 542 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,901 That's right. 543 00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,869 I'm still commissioner. I'll start a new department. 544 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,238 I can deputize you right now, Barbara. 545 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,906 We'll clean up this city together... 546 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,877 husband and wife cops. An unbreakable bond. 547 00:20:10,912 --> 00:20:11,912 [Barbara] I want a divorce. 548 00:20:11,912 --> 00:20:12,912 [claps] 549 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,949 It's all hopeless. 550 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,621 Where are you, Batman? 551 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:22,957 They put me on ice and an hour later 552 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,991 the goons crawl back to the bosses? 553 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,827 Harley, this might come as a shock to you, 554 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,631 so I wanna... I want to say it as delicately as I can-- 555 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,465 You've been iced for two months! 556 00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,034 -Two months? -Nice work, Clay. 557 00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,836 Um... Well, we've been we've been trying 558 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,336 to break you out the whole time. 559 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,739 And hell, I got shot twice. 560 00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:39,940 I never got shot, 561 00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:41,575 but I did put a lot of 562 00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:44,678 personal projects aside trying to save you. 563 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,038 I never realized 564 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:48,347 how much we relied on your leadership before. 565 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,615 I mean, I don't want to say 566 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,818 things were a disaster in your absence, 567 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,921 but they weren't not a disaster. 568 00:20:53,988 --> 00:20:55,555 In fact, things got so dire 569 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:56,957 we finally got desperate enough 570 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,492 to try the talking block of mud's stupid plan. 571 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,662 Which was a rousing success! 572 00:21:01,662 --> 00:21:02,962 Thank you very much. [chuckles] 573 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,865 You see, usually penguin only hires 574 00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:06,732 the most distinguished waiters. 575 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,001 Which is why I had to develop 576 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,635 my Francois character. 577 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,403 [enthusiastically] He was born... 578 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:12,404 to a scullery maid-- 579 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:13,906 Okay, thank you! 580 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,642 So, in the last two months, did I miss anything 581 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,845 other than Clayface's long-winded backstories? 582 00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,046 Harley, just come with me. 583 00:21:20,814 --> 00:21:22,763 [door creaks] 584 00:21:25,919 --> 00:21:28,555 So after the goons fell back in line, 585 00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:31,391 the Injustice League carved up the city. 586 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,359 They call it new New Gotham. 587 00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:38,425 Which is... I mean, I can't even... 588 00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,401 [Two-Face] If you just played the game 589 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,002 you wouldn't have ended up like this. [laughs] 590 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,005 [Mr. Freeze] You did this to yourself. 591 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,740 [Bane mumbling] 592 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,044 [Riddler] Who's the biggest fool of all? 593 00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:51,045 You! 594 00:21:52,913 --> 00:21:54,548 You were right all along, Ive. 595 00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,750 I shoulda taken control from the start. 596 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,819 Riddler, Two-Face, Freeze, Bane. 597 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:01,387 I'm taking 'em all down. 598 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:03,089 And when I'm done, 599 00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,424 Gotham is gonna be... 600 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:06,625 mine! 601 00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:08,428 [thunderclap] 602 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,631 [Poison Ivy] Cool. 603 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:13,799 [male nurse] Yeah. We pulled him from the Joker Tower rubble months ago. 604 00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,068 He's been in a coma ever since. 605 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,670 The swelling should've gone down. 606 00:22:16,737 --> 00:22:18,538 Let me just... 607 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:19,839 -Oh, my God. -[gasps] 608 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,441 It's... Bruce Wayne. 609 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:24,678 [theme music playing]