1
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,562
[Poison Ivy]
It's like I'm going
to a business convention

2
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:21,980
on the fucking moon.

3
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,482
Avoid everyone
from Thanagar.
They all have chlamydia.

4
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,109
Nora, it's
a business conference.

5
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,445
It's not some
intergalactic orgy situation.

6
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,739
Oh, so you'll be
the first person to come back

7
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:33,450
from a business conference
without chlamydia?

8
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,035
-Okay.
-I guess so.

9
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,495
I mean, I'm...
I'm planning to dominate
this conference.

10
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,123
Crushing panels,
mingling at drinks,

11
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,500
making sick connections
with evil CEOs.

12
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,003
Okay, well, when it starts
to sting when you pee,

13
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,088
call Professor Hugo Strange.

14
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,798
He's a walking pharmacy.

15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,175
Oh, what's this? Uh...

16
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,928
[reading]

17
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,472
[clicks tongue] Aw!

18
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,265
[man on speaker]
This is the final boarding call

19
00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,225
for the MalCon Forum
on the moon!

20
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,518
[brakes screech]

21
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:05,774
Shit!

22
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,650
That's like
the most expensive
dildo I've ever seen.

23
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,695
[chuckles] I hope
the clouds don't have
a gag reflex.

24
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,530
[laughing]

25
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,407
[man on speaker]
For those of you
who think this is funny,

26
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,868
there's a scientific reason
it has to be shaped like this.

27
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,871
Uh, what's with
the pubes, dude?

28
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,539
[man on speaker] Hey, there.
I can hear you.

29
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,375
The antennas
have to be coarse and wiry

30
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,710
and on the balls...
I mean orbs.

31
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:29,047
So, let's get some quick pics
of me with the space dong.

32
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,007
[man on speaker]
Have some respect.

33
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,093
-You are
in a cathedral of science.
-[camera shutter clicking]

34
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,301
[man on speaker]
Get on the fucking rocket,
so I can blastoff.

35
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,845
[rocket rumbling]

36
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,561
[Nora] Ho, ho!

37
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:45,729
The sky is getting
pregnant tonight.

38
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,775
[man on speaker]
A rocket gets sick
if it can't release its steam.

39
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,860
[theme music playing]

40
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,490
This is no way
to treat an old friend.

41
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,576
I have to find a way
to fill my days, Mr. Mayor.

42
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,370
I wanted to steal
a rocket ship,

43
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,871
but they're all on the moon.

44
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,666
I can't believe I didn't get
an invite to MalCon.

45
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,918
Last year
I'm giving the keynote.

46
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,795
This year, those fickle,
fair-weather one-percenters

47
00:02:09,878 --> 00:02:11,464
act like I don't even exist.

48
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,633
They're right.
I'm only ransacking you
as a dry run

49
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,427
for my governor's
mansion heist.

50
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,845
Grab those giant scissors!

51
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,639
Hey, I need those
for a car wash grand opening.

52
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:24,811
-Let this sicko go, you sickos.
-[man grunting]

53
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,771
Oh, it's Bat Harley.

54
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,399
You've got two faces
like me now, huh?

55
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,192
[groans] I like
the old one better.

56
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,820
Oh! There's Ivy.

57
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,905
Have a great time. Whoo!

58
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,449
It was another rocket?

59
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,035
You may have two faces,

60
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,537
but I have two maces.

61
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,457
[grunts] Wait!
Where are my maces?

62
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,584
[groans] My shuriken,
they're missing.

63
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,170
-Your what?
-They're throwing stars.
Doesn't matter, help!

64
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,921
Uh, I know
I packed my gel bombs.

65
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,256
Where's our stuff?

66
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,508
Ha! Send them my way.
I'll handle it.

67
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,259
[grunts]

68
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,094
[man yelling]

69
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,387
[men grunting]

70
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,640
-[Two-Face groans]
-[Harley grunts]

71
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,310
Ooh, you've got
that edge still.

72
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,312
You must really miss
being evil, huh?

73
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,107
Stop projecting your own shit
on me, Mr. Mayor.

74
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,610
[eerie music playing]

75
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,612
[Jon 1] Your calf pumps, sir.

76
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,530
Lex Luthor is an abstraction.

77
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,825
There is no real me...
for tax purposes.

78
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,702
Everything about me
is artificial.

79
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:25,329
My jawline, my shell companies,

80
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,499
even all my lighting
on the moon.

81
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,959
That's baby seal blood,
by the way.

82
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,087
Very, very illegal on earth.

83
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,672
Your body has me
literally reeling.

84
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882
Superman wishes
he had those cumgutters.

85
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,466
Ready for your peel?

86
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,760
-[ripping]
-Let's shed
that dead skin, mama.

87
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,345
It's what snakes do
to stay smooth.

88
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,222
-They do.
-It's true.

89
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:47,435
Uh, yeah. Mr. Luthor?
Uh, sir, my question was,
who are these guys?

90
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,020
-I'm Jon.
-I'm also Jon.

91
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,563
-But there's no "h"
in my name.
-Or in mine.

92
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,691
We're this chiseled
Greek god's PR team.

93
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,526
What paper
do you work for again?

94
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,986
-The Daily Planet.
-More like The Daily Superman.

95
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,697
Well, good for you.

96
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,699
Finally writing about something
other than that super-jacked,

97
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,576
certainly undocumented
super-alien.

98
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,829
Um, so I've been
on the moon for a week

99
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,831
watching this conference
come together,

100
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,208
and I still don't know
what you'll be announcing
at the keynote...

101
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,420
Oh, well. Just forever changing

102
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,548
the nexus of science
and industry. No spoilers.

103
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,841
-[slurps]
-[whooshing]

104
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,678
Exciting! That's so great.
I can't wait!

105
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,514
Man. Wow.
Is this coffee extra strong?

106
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,850
I... I just I am jazzed.
I am... Whoo!

107
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,353
And one last question, uh,
about your mentee, Poison Ivy.

108
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,106
Pass. This is an interview
about Lex Luthor,
not his protege.

109
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,692
I am happy to talk about Ivy.

110
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,821
It takes a lot of courage
to install someone like her
as a CEO.

111
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,197
Not only is she a woman,

112
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,866
but a green woman.

113
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,161
Only a true forward thinker
could come up with that.

114
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:50,582
Someone so strong
that he can crack
a walnut with his armpit.

115
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,417
-You care to see?
-Don't print any of that.

116
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,503
-[dramatic music playing]
-[Nightwing panting]

117
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,088
And what happened to our gear?

118
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,673
We looked
like amateurs out there.

119
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,550
I thought I looked pretty good.

120
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,094
Ugh. Someone must have
sabotaged us.

121
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,055
Uh, why is Mommy here?

122
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,141
[camera feed warbles]

123
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,643
Your mommy took our camera.

124
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,646
Unhand our stuff!

125
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,107
[Nightwing groans]

126
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,609
This has never been your stuff.

127
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,319
It's property
of Wayne Enterprises,

128
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,779
which is teetering
on a financial cliff.

129
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,781
So I'm liquidating
all nonessential assets.

130
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,408
We need our weapons
to protect Gotham.

131
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,702
For far too long,
you coddled bat-babies

132
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,287
have relied
on trivial gadgetry,

133
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,790
while you've let
your ultimate weapons
grow soft.

134
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,626
-Your bodies.
-Nuh-uh. I have
a rock hard six pack.

135
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,252
-[smacks]
-[groans] Mom.

136
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,879
Effective immediately,

137
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,924
you are no longer
being financed
by Wayne Enterprises

138
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,677
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to the moon.

139
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,303
Oh, and here.
Happy Birthday, son.

140
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,430
My birthday was
five months ago.

141
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,640
Is this a rattle?

142
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,557
[explosion rumbles]

143
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,226
[tires screeching]

144
00:05:51,308 --> 00:05:52,727
[rocket whooshing]

145
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,357
Feels like she could've
liquidated that.

146
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,067
[woman on speaker]
Welcome to MalCon

147
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:03,488
License plate, GR8-VLN,
please move your rocket.

148
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,865
It's about to be towed.

149
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,702
Oh, wow. Thank you.

150
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,995
I don't usually wear jewelry,
but I will make an excep--

151
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,498
It's a lanyard
for the conference.

152
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,041
[gasps] Look.

153
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,002
Steppenwolf
hasn't picked his up yet.

154
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,671
-Classic move.
-Mmm, intergalactic dom shit.

155
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,631
-Love him.
-Steppenwolf?

156
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,217
-He's a warlord, right?
-Oh, Ivy.

157
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,928
Sure he captains
a ruthless canine army
on Apokolips,

158
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,847
but his true passion
is venture capitalism.

159
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,766
You probably think
Tony Soprano is just a mobster?

160
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,478
No. He made his real fortune
from owning the Bada Bing!

161
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:39,899
I mean, I actually see him
more as like a victim
of Livia's toxic maternity.

162
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:43,028
-So are we meeting
with Steppenwolf?
-[laughing]

163
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,031
You don't get face time
with Steppenwolf
at your first conference.

164
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,284
He only makes time
for the real innovators.

165
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,244
You can golf
as drunk as you want

166
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,121
-and let lightning do the work.
-[grunting]

167
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,748
Perfect swing every time.

168
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,499
Did you hear about
this thing in Gotham

169
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,419
where someone replaced all the
male trees with female ones.

170
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:03,256
-Yeah, that was me.
-You see, male trees
cause allergies,

171
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,883
because, unlike female trees,

172
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,509
they don't have fruit
to contain the toxins

173
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,011
created during photosynthesis.

174
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,096
-Right. That's why I--
-I'll send you an article.

175
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,057
-Done and done.
-[notification dings]

176
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,976
Oh, man. So I...
I'm just seeing that
I'm not on any panels.

177
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,811
I just was excited
to impress everyone

178
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:20,065
-with my cool answers
to questions.
-[laughing]

179
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,693
You're doing something
way more important
than panels.

180
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:28,114
Oh, there I am.
"45 second intro
to Lex Luthor..."

181
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:32,327
-Wait. What?
-That 45 seconds is the hottest
time slot of the weekend.

182
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:33,828
You have to save your voice.

183
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,498
I'll have one
of the Jons get you some tea.

184
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,585
-[Poison Ivy growls]
-[slurps]

185
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:41,711
[Robin] Is this all we have?

186
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,380
[computer warbling]

187
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,884
-[Robin] Mmm.
-Ha! My life savings
for the fam.

188
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,136
Nineteen bucks.

189
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,722
That won't even cover
the electricity
for my air fryer.

190
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,599
Okay, we have $19,

191
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,394
and, ugh, a silver baby rattle.

192
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,561
We're screwed.

193
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,021
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

194
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,107
No, I'm gonna have
to go to school.

195
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,274
Where will I sit at lunch?

196
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,235
No one's going to school.

197
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,405
We just need
to figure out a way
to generate some income.

198
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,739
I can sell locks of my hair.

199
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,032
Oh, wait, better idea.

200
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,410
Nightwing, that ass,
live cam, baby.

201
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,579
Hey, my glutes
are not for sale.

202
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,540
Ugh, selfish prick. I'll do it.

203
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,291
Okay? I used
to rent out my feet

204
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,460
to rich women who needed
their shoes broken in.

205
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,045
I bet my profile
is still active.

206
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,171
Okay, so not that,

207
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,466
but renting
does give me an idea.

208
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,051
[doorbell rings]

209
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,053
[with Swedish accent] Hello!
This is CleggBnb?

210
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:35,557
Yes. Welcome.
You must be Amelie and Jonas.

211
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,308
-"Yonas."
-Yonas.

212
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,893
Yonas.

213
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:39,811
Yonas.

214
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,270
-Yo--
-Please, please come in.

215
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,565
Uh, you'll find everything
you need in here.

216
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,650
The Wi-Fi password,
the history of the house

217
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,944
and, of course,
restaurant recommendations.

218
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,154
Hey, why don't
you two lovebirds

219
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,697
go get settled
in your room, huh?

220
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,449
Hey, Amelie.
Look, at the door knobble.

221
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,325
-So beautskiful.
-Don't go in there.

222
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,036
-Okay?
-Or there.

223
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:56,828
Or there.

224
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,497
Okay, meanie man. Okay.

225
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:00,999
Hey, this is too risky.

226
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,792
What if they find out
who we actually are?

227
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,252
It's all gonna be worth it.

228
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,838
Between renting out
the place, couponing--

229
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,631
I'm getting so many paper cuts.

230
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:09,758
I hate being a poor.

231
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,176
We have to buy back our gear.

232
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,136
Or we use the money
to keep the lights on

233
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,013
and I teach you to fight
without your gear.

234
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,182
I think Talia
might be right
about you guys.

235
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,768
You're kind of useless
soggy nut sacks
without your little gadgets.

236
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,437
How dare you--
[grunts] Harley!

237
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,689
Okay, show us what you've got.

238
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:25,982
[glass squeaking]

239
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,651
It started
in a single toilet bowl

240
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,696
with a crust
of a bologna sandwich.

241
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,324
And now White Collar Wine,

242
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:38,912
is the official beverage
of MalCon. [laughing]

243
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,790
-[all applauding]
-Let's start with the Chablis.

244
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,833
The nose of green jello

245
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,711
pairs well with an aged gruyere

246
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:51,174
-and tax evasion.
-[slurps] Ooh, Penal Noir.

247
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,550
Wow, what's this feeling?

248
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,887
It's like my head is spinning
and my tummy is a-rumbly.

249
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,139
But I also feel happy.

250
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,559
None for you.
Alcohol dries out
the vocal cords.

251
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:02,894
[Poison Ivy grumbles]

252
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,396
There's someone I'd like
to introduce you to.

253
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,563
She's a woman like you.

254
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,149
-Meet--
-Hey! Love the tote.

255
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,110
-Right?
-You know each other.

256
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,195
God, you've been
on the moon too long.

257
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,240
We already met
at the Evil Women
in Business Luncheon.

258
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,241
Women's luncheon?

259
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,325
Lex, can we steal you?

260
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,244
There's an important task

261
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,870
-that only a very swole alpha
can attend to.
-[Poison Ivy laughs]

262
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,372
I'm sure
your schedule is packed,

263
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,457
but I'd love
to find time for us to get

264
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,917
a couple's massage.

265
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,169
These lanyards are
killing my neck and my vibe.

266
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,839
Actually, I wasn't placed
on any panels.

267
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,967
So, if you're free anytime,
except 45 seconds

268
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,511
before Lex's keynote
then, you know...

269
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,595
Fucking Lex.

270
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,222
You're the hot new blood here.

271
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,182
Don't let that Ken doll
wannabe hold you back.

272
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,101
-So he is fucking with me.
-[portal trilling]

273
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,230
[woman gasps]

274
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,233
[growling]

275
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,485
-[people howling]
-Ah! Steppenwolf's here.

276
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,778
Such an attention whore!

277
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,739
-God love him.
-Gross.

278
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,949
[Lex] Steppenwolf,
remember last year?

279
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,951
Wolf Pack. [growls]

280
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,453
-[man screaming]
-[wolf growls]

281
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,954
-Sit!
-[wolf whimpers]

282
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,208
-Repulsive.
-[scoffs] You know what?

283
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,418
[wolf grumbling]

284
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,628
I'm gonna get that face time
with Steppenwolf.

285
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,130
[upbeat rock music playing]

286
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,342
-[Elon Musk grunts]
-Uh... [chuckles]

287
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:18,970
So, hello. I would like
to field that question.

288
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,263
[Elon Musk grunts]

289
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:24,934
[electricity crackling]

290
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:32,150
Hey, Zuckerberg, have fun
in the metaverse, dweeb.

291
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,111
[Zuckerberg screaming]

292
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,238
[screaming continues]

293
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,366
[laughing]

294
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,923
I just wanna say
I'm really flattered

295
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,508
that you wanted
to get java with me.

296
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,093
You're the woman of the hour.

297
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,387
I have unlimited resources.

298
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,681
You have unlimited ideas.

299
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:03,890
Let's collab...

300
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,936
[coughs] Excuse me... orate.

301
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:10,939
[Barbara grunting]

302
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,942
-[Barbara yells]
-And...

303
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,193
You're both dead.

304
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,861
Come on.
You can do better than that.

305
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,196
What the heck?

306
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,864
That was
dangerously close
to my nipples.

307
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,908
-[grunts]
-Toughen up.

308
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,452
You think real villains
are above giving you
a titty twister?

309
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,496
-Think again!
-[Dick Grayson groans]

310
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,415
I want my Bat stun gun.

311
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,542
If you want a weapon,
look around.

312
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,419
Everything's a weapon.

313
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,878
Fine. What about my belt

314
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,006
that Amelie poked
four extra holes in?

315
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,550
Horrible choice for fashion.
Great choice for weapon.

316
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,093
-[grunts]
-[Dick] What about
cheeseballs?

317
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,678
They were several
on the floor this morning.

318
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,971
I nearly broke my neck.

319
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,348
Those Euroscum are
trying to kill me!

320
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,851
Okay, paranoid, I'm sure
it's just a Swedish tradition.

321
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,185
Be respectful.

322
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,022
Hello. Do you recommend
any Thai food?

323
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523
It's in the binder, Jonas!

324
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,067
"Yonas." Thanks, ya.

325
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,402
Okay, why are they cooking?

326
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,279
They just asked
for Thai food recs.

327
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,281
[Amelie muffled] How do I use
the dishwashy?

328
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,782
-Ugh! [grunts]
-[phone vibrates]

329
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,325
Ooh, ooh.

330
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,077
Guess who's girlfriend's
making headlines on the moon?

331
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,746
Mine, probably. She's a dime.

332
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,790
"Move Over Sun:
Poison Ivy Makes
the Moon Shine Bright.

333
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,917
"Ten things Poison Ivy
can't live without
on the moon."

334
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:16,087
[gasps] I gotta call Ivy
for the deets.

335
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,089
Ivy! Ivy, Ivy! I have some

336
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,758
-really exciting IP...
-[cell phone vibrating]

337
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,051
...that would be perfect
for you...

338
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,510
Hey, baby. What's up?

339
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,597
Um, G-friend,
you are killing it on the moon,

340
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,265
according to my feeds.

341
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:28,767
It's crazy. I went
to the bathroom,

342
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,769
and someone tried
to reach into the stall

343
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,312
and tried to take my underwear.

344
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,272
Ooh, ooh.
Okay, would it be cool

345
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,024
if I sold some of your undies
online on the dark Clegg?

346
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,525
We're down
to canned beans over here,

347
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,444
and you know
how sodium affects my skin.

348
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,071
Um, sure.

349
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,572
I mean, you got to give
the market what it wants,

350
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,699
and obviously I'm gonna
refute it publicly.

351
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:48,286
But I kind of like
that the people, like,
want my underwear.

352
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,038
That's what's up, Miss Thang!

353
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,040
I am so glad
you're enjoying yourself.

354
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,458
Maybe it's
the toilet wine talking,

355
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,960
but I've been having
so many ideas

356
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,754
and everyone, like,
thinks they're brilliant.

357
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,006
Of course they are brilliant.
God, you are so fucking hot.

358
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,466
I want it right now.
What are you wearing?

359
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,343
[clears throat]
I'm wearing, like, a lanyard

360
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,512
with a bunch of maps
and QR codes. [coughs]

361
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,389
Yes! Well, call me
when you're in the bathtub.

362
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,933
I wanna hear more
about this fucking lanyard.

363
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,726
[sexy music playing]

364
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,853
[both moaning]

365
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,355
[moaning continues]

366
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,440
-[woman moaning]
-[man grunting]

367
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,818
The physical act
of sex is so pedestrian.

368
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,821
Surrogates are
much more efficient
and less to clean up.

369
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,073
-[intercom clicks]
-Flip him over
and play with his ass.

370
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,659
[vibrating]

371
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,828
So what do you think
of the convention this year?

372
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,830
Every detail is my own design.

373
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,248
Including the sweatshirts.

374
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,915
Did you notice the thumbhole?

375
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,335
Smart move
putting Ivy front and center.

376
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:38,503
She's a star.

377
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,255
Every panel
she's been on has been packed.

378
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,590
What?
Ivy's not on any panels.

379
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,759
She's saving her voice
for my keynote.

380
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:48,221
Or maybe next year
you'll be introducing
her keynote.

381
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,223
You should have been
keeping an eye on her.

382
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,892
[sighs] I know
what you're doing.

383
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,644
This is a sex thing.

384
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,479
You get off on weak men.

385
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,522
[Talia giggles]

386
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,190
[sighs] What happened
to the cape?

387
00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:01,192
-Gives me a wedgie.
-I said,

388
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:04,279
the cape stays on
until you finish.

389
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,698
You know what?
I'm not in the mood anymore.

390
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:07,866
Forget it.

391
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,159
[Talia sighs]

392
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,201
That was great.

393
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:13,329
[moaning continues]

394
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,206
[Joker chuckles
and grumbles]

395
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:18,335
[Joker] Ha! Huh! [laughs]

396
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,880
Lex is so fucking thirsty.

397
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,215
Uh, are you even listening?

398
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,426
Oh, did my briefly
glancing at my phone

399
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,386
imply this was
the most boring meeting

400
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,722
about cutting grass
I've ever been to?

401
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,724
Because I'm riveted.

402
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,810
Please continue.

403
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,354
Okay.

404
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:41,399
I was saying
normally we use a 6 mm blade,

405
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,527
but due to the lack of rain,
it's all basically kindling.

406
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,030
So, we're gonna
have to run out and buy...

407
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,531
[continues indistinctly]

408
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,077
[Dick humming]

409
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,457
[continues humming]

410
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,626
Oh, where's that
draft coming from?

411
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,797
[grunts] That's it!

412
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:06,675
It's time to pack your bags,
you Euro pervs.

413
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,097
I told you we couldn't
trust Amelie and Yonas.

414
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,848
[Jonas] Beautskiful
pronunciation.

415
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,100
[Dick groans]

416
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:17,644
[emcee] And again,
the hotline is open

417
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,105
for any tips
on the Zuck's whereabouts.

418
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,733
-Let's get
#wheresMark trending!
-[audience applauding]

419
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,820
-[pumping]
-Uh, what's that sound?

420
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,279
I'm pumping my calves.

421
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,781
Yeah, but you're wearing...
[clears throat]

422
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,866
You're wearing... [grunts]
You're wearing pants.

423
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,244
You think you can hide
chicken calves behind pants?

424
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,620
Ugh, women don't understand

425
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,539
the pressures
put on men's bodies.

426
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,665
-[Poison Ivy clears throat]
-What is going on
with your voice?

427
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:44,087
And now your keynote speaker,
Mr. Lex Luthor,

428
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,465
with an introduction
by the incredible,
the incomparable,

429
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:50,010
-the absolutely insidious...
-Oh!

430
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,387
[emcee] Poison Ivy!

431
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,972
[audience cheering
and applauding]

432
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,974
You have been speaking
on panels.

433
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,600
Why'd I think
I could rely on you?

434
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,644
Did you even do
the throat douche
the Jons gave you?

435
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,647
Don't respond. You'll just
strain your voice more.

436
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,441
I mean, Lex,
you really thought that

437
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,067
I'd spend all my time
on the moon,

438
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,527
like, douching my throat...

439
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,696
[coughs] waiting
to talk about you?

440
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,824
So yeah, I did panels.

441
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,910
Okay, I did all the panels.

442
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,954
-[coughing]
-Never send a woman
to do a man's job.

443
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,832
Good evening, evil colleagues.

444
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,960
What an amazing time
to be a woman in villainy.

445
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,420
I'm humbled

446
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:29,257
to be the LOD's
first CEO
with a labia...

447
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,551
Just keep scrolling. Get to me.

448
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,180
It's an honor for you
to watch me announce
my new initiative

449
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,182
using the latest
LexCorp technology,

450
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,558
developed right here
on the moon.

451
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,894
I devised a plan
to thicken the ozone layer,

452
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,980
reverse global warming,
and save the earth.

453
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:48,526
The Earth Saver by Lex
can beam new ozone particles

454
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,570
into the atmosphere
literally whenever.

455
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,989
And, if I keep saving
the earth,

456
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,201
-we can keep destroying it.
-[audience cheering]

457
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,955
I'll now open it up
for questions.

458
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,540
Sounds like
socially conscious evil.

459
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,376
Did Lex steal your idea, Ivy?

460
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:05,669
This has nothing
to do with her.

461
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,379
Ivy, you said
in an earlier panel,

462
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,047
I'm quoting, "I love bread."
Can you expound on that?

463
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,382
[reporter] Poison Ivy,
over here!

464
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,633
How do you come up
with all your cool plans?

465
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,259
And also,
how is your hair so shiny?

466
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,095
Would you have been mean
to me in middle school?

467
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,763
It's fine if the answer is yes.

468
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:17,931
[pumping]

469
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,724
Ivy, I'd love you
for our cover.

470
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,351
C... Could you pose
for the camera?

471
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,228
-That's my cover.
-[camera shutters clicking]

472
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,437
[female reporter] Is it true
you're collaborating
with Steppenwolf?

473
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,605
-[bursts]
-[Lex yells]

474
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,941
-[all gasping]
-[Lex grunts]

475
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,651
You're working
with Steppenwolf?

476
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,736
Oh, you know what?
Honestly, it's casual.

477
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,073
He did offer to bankroll
whatever I want to do next.

478
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:39,411
I'd go into more detail,
but, you know,
I'm saving my voice.

479
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,246
[yells] That's enough.

480
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,248
-Everybody get off my moon.
-[alarm blaring]

481
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,584
[alien screaming]

482
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:47,627
[all screaming]

483
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,258
[Amelie grunting]

484
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:55,969
I thought
they'd have more stuff.

485
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,222
-[grunts]
-Some people must have
already take everything.

486
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,765
Honeys, I'm home!

487
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,768
I made bank
on the first batch
of Ivy's thongs.

488
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,021
They're robbing us?

489
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,732
God damn it!
Time to take out
the Euro trash.

490
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,275
-[upbeat music playing]
-[Jonas grunts]

491
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,861
[screams] Oh, God.
You sneaky motherfucker.

492
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,863
[both grunting]

493
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,156
[sniffs and sighs]

494
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:17,907
[grunts]

495
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,079
How are you still standing?

496
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,873
It's the drugs.

497
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:28,084
They've permanent
turned off the pain
receptors in my brains.

498
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,878
[Harley groans]

499
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:32,756
[screams]

500
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,632
[rockets whooshing]

501
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,509
[automated voice]
Oxygen levels are
at ten percent.

502
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,470
-Please evacuate immediately.
-[people screaming]

503
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,847
Please note that
the number of escape pods

504
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,767
is lower than the number
of convention attendees.

505
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:47,062
Thank you for attending
this year's MalCon.

506
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,897
Brought to you by LexCorp.

507
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,360
Fear not,
evil business leaders.

508
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,820
I'll save you. Oh, corn nuts.

509
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:59,282
Luthor's lined this place
with trace amounts
of Kryptonite.

510
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,658
That explains a lot, actually.

511
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,577
-[wolf growling]
-[Steppenwolf] Want a ride?

512
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,330
I have to stop on Earth
to pick up my lover, Scruffy.

513
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,082
Scruffy Adelstein,

514
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,460
my Moroccan,
fashion model boyfriend,
and notorious good boy.

515
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,836
You know what?
I got a date with a blonde

516
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,088
in a chastity belt,

517
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:16,841
but I could stop
by Casablanca first.

518
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,176
[portal trilling]

519
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,552
Effortlessly draining
that bottle, sir.

520
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,137
[Jon 2] Three cheers
for our chaotic king!

521
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,682
Nice. And they say women are
too emotional. [scoffs]

522
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,684
-[bottle shatters]
-[Lex grunts] Shit!

523
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,687
[Harley grunting]

524
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,981
Damn you
and your drug-enhanced
ability to take hits.

525
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,983
Ha! Eat chastity belt!

526
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,696
Saved by my everlasting
devotion to my lunar lover!

527
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,989
-[Amelie grunts]
-[Harley groans]

528
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,992
[grunts] Hey, how about
I give you a free night? Eh?

529
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,411
Or a partial refund!

530
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,621
-[belt lashes]
-[Amelie yells and groans]

531
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,959
[heroic music playing]

532
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:52,752
Get ready to check out, pal.

533
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,964
What? But the binder says
checkout is noon.

534
00:20:56,965 --> 00:21:00,510
[all grunting]

535
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:05,348
[Jonas groans]

536
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,684
Aw, look at us.

537
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,228
We're the Bat-Bat family now.

538
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,565
Oh, God, I just love bonding.

539
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,567
[Jonas groans]

540
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,027
[gasps] Oh, hey. Guess what?

541
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,404
I was able to sell enough
of Ivy's squirrel covers

542
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,448
that we can get
new security cameras, right?

543
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:22,866
So no one can steal from us,

544
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,743
or cut the butts
out of our towels ever again.

545
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,828
Although,
it's a good look for you,

546
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,914
like twin,
honey ham, glory holes.

547
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,124
Mmm.

548
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,584
[intense music playing]

549
00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,087
[engine turning over]

550
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,050
[groundskeeper grunting]

551
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:47,682
[Joker cackling]

552
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:53,480
[crickets chirping]

553
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:55,231
[keyboard clacking]

554
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,275
[Damian] Ah! These paper cuts.

555
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,277
My dumb,
bandage-fingers don't work.

556
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,945
-I'm going to bed.
-Same.

557
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:05,033
I have a headache
from Jonas's
gas station body spray,

558
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:06,451
[door creaking]

559
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:20,548
[theme music playing]