1 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:37,384 You're lucky I still have this on. 2 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:40,098 What is so pressing? 3 00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:42,185 I‐I just wanted to talk to you 4 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:46,903 about something that I couldn't really talk to you about at the center. 5 00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:51,955 Um, look, I... really like you, 6 00:00:51,979 --> 00:00:54,001 and I told the sheikh 7 00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:56,589 that I would tell you some things about me, 8 00:00:56,613 --> 00:00:59,971 uh, before we get to know each other, 9 00:00:59,995 --> 00:01:04,146 and, uh, I‐I think you need to know that 10 00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,526 I have had sex, 11 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:10,325 and I have watched a lot of porn, 12 00:01:10,349 --> 00:01:13,832 and‐‐and I've had sex with people 13 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,504 that I shouldn't have had it with. 14 00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:17,506 Um... 15 00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,886 Yeah, I don't need to know the details. 16 00:01:21,955 --> 00:01:24,144 Uh, okay, but‐‐yeah, but the sheikh told me 17 00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:26,273 that‐‐that I should, you know, tell you about... 18 00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:27,777 No, I‐I know who you are. 19 00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,491 I‐I get the vibe. 20 00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:31,993 Like, what vibe? 21 00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:33,371 Like‐‐like a‐like a porn vibe? 22 00:01:33,395 --> 00:01:34,749 Like, you feel, like, a porn vibe off me? 23 00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:37,462 No, I‐‐no. I know you've 24 00:01:37,486 --> 00:01:38,674 you've had a past, 25 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:42,097 and I don't need the details. 26 00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:43,892 Really? 27 00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:44,936 Yeah. 28 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,648 I'm just interested 29 00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,944 in who you are becoming, 30 00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:51,073 who you want to be. 31 00:01:51,097 --> 00:01:53,202 That's it. 32 00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:57,819 Okay. 33 00:02:15,316 --> 00:02:18,419 So this is my room, 34 00:02:18,443 --> 00:02:22,803 and that is all you will ever see, ever, in person. 35 00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:24,389 This is the rest of the house. 36 00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:27,061 Great lighting. And this is my mom's piano. 37 00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,526 Blah, blah, blah. 38 00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,310 You're popular. You're trying to tell me you're not popular. 39 00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:10,022 You're like a popular person. 40 00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:11,191 You're defin‐No! 41 00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:13,864 You're definitely a popular person. 42 00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,951 Yeah, I feel like people are trying to talk to you 43 00:03:15,975 --> 00:03:17,412 and, you know, are 44 00:03:17,436 --> 00:03:20,376 you know, they're‐‐they're‐‐ wanna know what you think. 45 00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:25,679 I mean, not really. 46 00:03:25,703 --> 00:03:28,893 This is the piece everyone's been talking about. 47 00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:36,408 Wow, that was... 48 00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:39,414 Wow, that's‐‐yeah. That. 49 00:03:55,948 --> 00:03:59,371 I just‐‐I feel... so much closer to God when I'm with you. 50 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:03,045 I feel the same way, too, 'cause I have to teach you so much. 51 00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:14,777 Hey, what's up? 52 00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:17,305 Pack your bag. Come outside, bitch. 53 00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:22,543 There he is! Let's go, baby! 54 00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:23,962 Get your shit. 55 00:04:23,986 --> 00:04:27,176 We're going to Atlantic City. 56 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,387 What? 57 00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:30,726 Your bachelor party. Let's go. 58 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,063 Yeah, I'm‐‐I'm not getting married. ‐ Come on, man. 59 00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,483 We know how seriously you've been taking Zainab, bro. 60 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,738 You've been talking to her for a month nonstop. 61 00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:38,908 You've been leading prayers. You've got prayer beads around your neck. 62 00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:40,036 Your posture's better. 63 00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,204 It's only a matter of time, bro. 64 00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:42,415 You're on a Muslim schedule. 65 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:43,960 You're gonna be married within a month. 66 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,505 Yasmina and I did our katb kitab 67 00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:47,634 17 days after our parents met. 68 00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:49,012 The reason I know the days is, 69 00:04:49,036 --> 00:04:50,181 we were gonna wait ten days, 70 00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:52,060 but then she got her menstrual cycle, 71 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,105 so we pushed a week. 17 days. 72 00:04:54,129 --> 00:04:56,234 Yeah, dude, our parents haven't even met yet. 73 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,863 That's why it's the right time! 74 00:04:57,887 --> 00:05:00,117 I don't like how white people do their bachelor parties. 75 00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:01,996 It's really weird, man. 76 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,541 They do them right before the wedding. 77 00:05:03,565 --> 00:05:05,252 They're already committed. 78 00:05:05,276 --> 00:05:07,090 That's disgusting. 79 00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:09,010 Who‐‐who came up with this? 80 00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,387 Steve. Steve did. 81 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,058 Look, man. 82 00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:13,686 It's a really good night for me to sin. 83 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:16,233 I've got my virtual umrah scheduled for later tonight. 84 00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:17,443 Virtual umrah? 85 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,239 Oh, my God. Shut up! 86 00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:20,282 Yeah, man. I've got a guy in Mecca 87 00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:22,036 doing umrah for me. 88 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,084 It's a new startup. The patent is pending. Fatwa's pending too. 89 00:05:25,108 --> 00:05:26,796 I got the VR working. 90 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,134 I got the guy heading to umrah right now. 91 00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:31,012 All right? He's gonna be in Mecca. 92 00:05:31,036 --> 00:05:33,433 He's‐‐all my sins are gonna be wiped clean 93 00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,562 within six hours, 94 00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:36,983 so I gotta get in some shit right now. 95 00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:39,655 I'm just going to make sure none of you guys do anything you're gonna regret. 96 00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:42,911 He wants to go. This guy's a gambling addict. 97 00:05:42,935 --> 00:05:44,289 I will not touch the slots. 98 00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:46,459 I'm not gonna gamble. I'm just driving. 99 00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:47,963 Yeah, look, I don't want to go 100 00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:49,048 to Atlantic City, all right? 101 00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:50,217 It's disgusting. 102 00:05:50,241 --> 00:05:51,679 It's a bunch of haram shit 103 00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:53,766 that I'm‐‐I'm not doing anymore. 104 00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:56,606 Hey, man, ever since you've been so religious, 105 00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:59,862 I've barely seen you, and once you get married, 106 00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:02,910 I'm never gonna see you. 107 00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:05,164 So let's just try to have some fun 108 00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:08,378 one last time. 109 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,132 What's going on? Are you okay? 110 00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:12,638 - Just get in the fucking van. - Get in the fucking car. 111 00:06:12,662 --> 00:06:14,808 My guy is waiting for his flight to Mecca, okay? 112 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,812 He already has the‐‐ the haram on. 113 00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:18,440 Let me‐‐let me just‐‐ let me sleep on it. 114 00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:19,610 Maybe we'll go tomorrow. I‐‐. 115 00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:20,862 No, Ramy. We gotta go 116 00:06:20,886 --> 00:06:22,323 before the snowstorm hits 117 00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:24,160 or you're gonna be snowed in with your family 118 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,997 and the next thing you know, you're gonna be married before it melts. 119 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,709 You wanna go that bad? 120 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,337 No, I'm only going 'cause you're going. 121 00:06:29,361 --> 00:06:30,757 It's haram. I understand it's haram. 122 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:34,723 But it's gonna snow. I don't do well with snow. 123 00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:36,309 Look, one‐‐one night, okay? 124 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,690 One night, and we're not gonna do anything crazy. Yeah? 125 00:06:38,714 --> 00:06:40,819 Keep it halal 100%. 126 00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:42,238 Bring some sheets, though. 127 00:06:42,262 --> 00:06:44,117 Some of these hotels have bad sheets. 128 00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,286 - Extra ones, just in case. - Shut up. 129 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,164 Just get your shit. Hurry up. 130 00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,876 Shut the fuck up, Ahmed. MO: Dude, what the fuck are you bringing up sheets? 131 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,100 I saw blood on a sheet. 132 00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:54,930 Ugh. Smells like old carpet. 133 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,646 What the fuck is this hotel, Steve? 134 00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:00,441 It was the only hotel left. 135 00:07:00,465 --> 00:07:02,111 There's a big fight this weekend. 136 00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,491 Bro, it's like, 45 minutes away from the main strip. 137 00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,871 Hey, man, this is one of the only spots 138 00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,419 not hit by Hurricane Sandy. It's resilient. 139 00:07:10,443 --> 00:07:12,006 I think it's kind of nice that we're far away 140 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,383 from all the distractions. It's good. 141 00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:14,720 Oh, shit, bro. It's like 142 00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:16,222 strip club is like six blocks away. 143 00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:18,435 Yeah, I know. They don't have a ramp, 144 00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,314 - so I brought my manual wheelchair. - Yeah, why don't we 145 00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:22,151 do something a little bit more low‐key? 146 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,948 Yeah? Like maybe go to a magic show or something? 147 00:07:24,972 --> 00:07:26,577 Magic? That shit's demonic. 148 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,539 Astaghfirullah, definitely evil. 149 00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:30,919 You're saying strippers are more halal than magicians? 150 00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:32,338 100%. 151 00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,674 Magicians speak to jinn. 152 00:07:33,698 --> 00:07:35,678 Strippers express themselves. 153 00:07:35,702 --> 00:07:37,599 Eh, Ahmed, come on, man. 154 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,435 You don't want to go to a strip club. 155 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,066 No, I don't want to go, but if I do go, I won't look at them. 156 00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:44,237 Maybe I can give some of the employees some money 157 00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:45,698 to put towards their studies, inshallah. 158 00:07:45,722 --> 00:07:48,036 Shut the fuck up. What are you, Drake? 159 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,455 You're gonna put these strippers through college? 160 00:07:49,479 --> 00:07:51,669 Yes. This is actually sadaqah. 161 00:07:51,693 --> 00:07:53,213 Dude, this isn't what we agreed on. 162 00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:54,508 Ramy, 163 00:07:54,532 --> 00:07:56,846 you've been haram your entire life. 164 00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:58,516 I know how you are with women, 165 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,979 so let's not pretend that you can't do this 166 00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:02,022 for one more night. 167 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:05,154 Come on, man, let's go. 168 00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:06,699 Let's get out of here. I'm running out of time. 169 00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:08,786 Let's get some titties in Steve's face. 170 00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:10,623 - Yes, we should. - Yeah, you guys check in. 171 00:08:10,647 --> 00:08:13,003 I'll meet you upstairs. I gotta call Yasmina. 172 00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:15,090 Yeah. Here, I'll take the fucking bag. 173 00:08:15,114 --> 00:08:16,951 - Thank you. - All right, no problem. 174 00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:16,212 Ex‐‐excuse me, sir, 175 00:09:16,236 --> 00:09:19,385 in the blue hoodie. 176 00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,805 Yeah, what? 177 00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:23,561 I need you to push this button for me. 178 00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:25,272 Why can't you fucking do it? 179 00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:28,320 I'm Muslim. I can't, man. 180 00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:30,575 I just need you to push this button for me. 181 00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:42,222 You hit the jackpot, you can keep all the winnings. 182 00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:43,726 I can't take the money. 183 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,187 It's haram. It's the devil's work. 184 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:46,439 Yeah, whatever, man. All I gotta do 185 00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:47,525 is hit this button? 186 00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:48,861 Yeah. 187 00:09:48,885 --> 00:09:50,698 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Use your right hand. 188 00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:53,579 Always lead with your right. 189 00:10:00,491 --> 00:10:03,849 Holy shit. $1,400! 190 00:10:03,873 --> 00:10:06,145 How the fuck did you know, man? 191 00:10:06,169 --> 00:10:08,693 I just do. I always do. 192 00:10:11,179 --> 00:10:13,034 I gotta go. I gotta go pray 193 00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,871 before I go to the strip club with my friends. 194 00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,935 Yeah, I'm gonna do some fucking praying of my own. 195 00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,616 Get down here. Get down here and give my man a lap dance. 196 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,329 My man's almost about to get married. 197 00:11:17,353 --> 00:11:18,713 Uh, no, I'm‐‐I'm okay. Thank you. 198 00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:21,922 I got you, bro. 199 00:11:21,946 --> 00:11:23,174 Uh, I'm okay. Thank you, thank you so much. 200 00:11:23,198 --> 00:11:24,385 So you're Ramy? 201 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:25,847 Gonna get married? 202 00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:29,019 Um, w‐well, our, uh‐‐ our parents are about to meet, 203 00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:30,773 and we're Muslim, so... 204 00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:33,737 Hmm... Muslim. 205 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:37,327 Yeah, yeah, and um‐‐ you know, in our 206 00:11:37,351 --> 00:11:39,791 in our culture, when the parents meet, 207 00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:42,254 uh, usually, we try to get married quickly 208 00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:45,010 so that we‐‐we don't have sex before marriage. 209 00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:48,976 Oh, yeah? RAMY: Uh... 210 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,105 Yeah. 211 00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:53,485 Um, so‐‐so yeah, that's, uh... 212 00:11:53,509 --> 00:11:55,990 That's‐‐that's what's happening right now. 213 00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:59,204 So‐‐so this is all a little‐‐ little premature, uh... 214 00:12:00,982 --> 00:12:06,052 So, uh... 215 00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:08,807 Sorry, c‐can you, uh 216 00:12:08,831 --> 00:12:11,563 c‐could you take those off? 217 00:12:11,587 --> 00:12:13,149 These? Yeah. 218 00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,863 Uh, c‐can you‐‐ can you take them off? 219 00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:19,078 Like, no, take them off, seriously. 220 00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:21,332 Those are my prayer beads. My‐‐my sheikh 221 00:12:21,356 --> 00:12:22,502 please, I need those. 222 00:12:25,072 --> 00:12:28,096 Yeah. Dude. 223 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,691 Whoa. What happened to Ramy? 224 00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:36,052 Who cares? 225 00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:47,885 Ramy, you okay? 226 00:12:47,909 --> 00:12:49,723 Dude, it's fucking disgusting in there. 227 00:12:49,747 --> 00:12:51,058 I know. I agree. 228 00:12:51,082 --> 00:12:52,562 Then why are you here, man? 229 00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,524 I thought you knew better than this. 230 00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:56,486 I just expected more from you. 231 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,699 Me? You expected more from me? 232 00:12:58,723 --> 00:13:00,368 Yeah. AHMED: Do you know how many times 233 00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:02,372 I've watched you do crazy things, 234 00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:05,128 slowly waiting, praying 235 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,798 that you do the right thing? 236 00:13:06,822 --> 00:13:08,510 - I‐I know. - I never judged you! 237 00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:10,806 I just prayed for you. 238 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,685 Do you know how many times I've prayed for you? 239 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,188 I've prayed for you more times 240 00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:15,566 than I prayed for the refugees. 241 00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:17,402 Then I feel guilty about that 242 00:13:17,426 --> 00:13:19,031 because I say to myself, "Ahmed", 243 00:13:19,055 --> 00:13:20,241 "why are you praying for Ramy? 244 00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:21,536 "You could pray for the refugees. 245 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,206 Why? You don't know who to decide to‐‐". 246 00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:26,378 Then I get a panic attack, and I feel bad about myself 247 00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:29,594 because I can send that energy to those kids, but no, 248 00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,013 I gotta send them to you 249 00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:33,142 when I know you ain't worth shit. 250 00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:36,065 Okay, look, man, I'm‐‐I'm sorry. I'm‐‐I'm just‐. 251 00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:38,862 You don't think I know this strip joint is disgusting? 252 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,200 But I got other demons to deal with myself. 253 00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:45,083 I could be a world poker champion! 254 00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,711 I'm just trying to do the right thing, okay? 255 00:13:46,735 --> 00:13:48,381 You're not doing the right thing. 256 00:13:48,405 --> 00:13:50,051 You're using the urinal. It's haram. 257 00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:52,640 All that splash‐back's getting on your clothes. 258 00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:54,393 You're covered in piss. 259 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,188 Your prayers won't count. 260 00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:18,817 Dude, we‐‐we‐No, no. 261 00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,028 Excuse me. Sorry. 262 00:14:20,052 --> 00:14:21,113 I, uh‐STEVE: Ramy, get out. 263 00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:22,533 Here, thank you for your work, 264 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:23,744 but I‐‐we gotta go. We gotta go. 265 00:14:23,768 --> 00:14:26,206 Here, it's‐‐here. 266 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,668 For you. Yep, we're getting out of here. 267 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,716 Ramy, don't do this. 268 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,429 Ramy, I swear to God, no. 269 00:14:33,453 --> 00:14:34,724 No! 270 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,811 Ramy. Fuck. 271 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,690 Come on, guys. Let's go. We're getting out of here. 272 00:14:38,714 --> 00:14:39,817 Dude, what are you talking about, man? 273 00:14:39,841 --> 00:14:41,028 Hold on a second. 274 00:14:41,052 --> 00:14:42,490 I got‐‐I got another 30 minutes. 275 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,827 My guy's about to check in to the Mecca Hilton Towers. 276 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,121 I don't want to be here anymore. 277 00:14:46,145 --> 00:14:48,417 You interrupted a lap dance. 278 00:14:48,441 --> 00:14:49,921 You don't do that. 279 00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:51,298 This place isn't good for us. 280 00:14:51,322 --> 00:14:53,052 It's‐‐it's not good for the people who work here. 281 00:14:53,076 --> 00:14:54,681 Half this place is like an office. 282 00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:56,977 There's‐‐there's a guy, like, printing something back there. 283 00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,983 Like, spiritually, this‐‐this sucks. 284 00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:01,151 Stop with the religious shit. 285 00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:02,278 Steve, I'm telling you, man, 286 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,615 if you just believed in something, 287 00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:05,159 it would change everything for you. 288 00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:06,538 Just trust me. 289 00:15:06,562 --> 00:15:09,585 It is always the same with the religious people. 290 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:14,554 Muslims, Christians‐all you do is tell people how to live their lives. 291 00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:16,056 Dude, I'm trying to help you. That's what I'm trying to do. 292 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,643 Yo, yo, yo, yo. 293 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,106 You guys can't be arguing about God and shit in here. 294 00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:22,486 No religion. I mean, it's a titty joint. 295 00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:23,905 What's the matter with you? 296 00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,661 I got a certain ambience to uphold around here, 297 00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:29,500 and you fucking guys are making everything uncomfortable. 298 00:15:29,524 --> 00:15:30,878 You know what? I want you 299 00:15:30,902 --> 00:15:32,464 and your whole fucking crew out of here. 300 00:15:32,488 --> 00:15:33,425 What? RAMY: Yeah, sure. No problem. 301 00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:34,719 Take 'em out. Yes! 302 00:15:34,743 --> 00:15:36,346 Claudio, get these fucking guys out of here. 303 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,683 Yeah, we're trying to leave. That's what we're doing. 304 00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:38,894 Good. Take the furry‐neck motherfucker 305 00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,396 and the turtleneck motherfucker. 306 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,941 - Take them both out and go! - Come on! 307 00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:42,985 Yes, sir. Let's go. Come on, let's go. 308 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,071 Come on, Ramy. Come on! 309 00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:46,618 - Ah, jeez! - The fuck out of here. 310 00:15:46,642 --> 00:15:48,454 Fucking last time I see you this year. 311 00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:50,416 You gotta change the tubes in your soda machines. 312 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,836 Take a walk‐‐take a walk! 313 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:54,091 Claudio, get this guy and take his fucking crew out, 314 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,636 all of them! 315 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,055 All right, folks, it's snowing hard out there, 316 00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:01,337 so let's stay warm with some half‐off dances! 317 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:07,325 Why, uh‐‐why are we in this room again? 318 00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:09,622 It's the only one with a roll‐in shower. 319 00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:10,833 Roll‐in shower? 320 00:16:10,857 --> 00:16:12,127 Okay, are we showering you this weekend? 321 00:16:12,151 --> 00:16:14,196 Is that... 322 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,763 Dude, what‐‐what's wrong, man? 323 00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:18,849 What's happening? 324 00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:20,184 I have to come. 325 00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:21,604 I know you wanted to stay at the strip club, 326 00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:23,900 dude, but I'm telling you, it's not good for you 327 00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:24,986 to be there. No, 328 00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:26,405 you don't fucking get it. 329 00:16:26,429 --> 00:16:29,411 I gotta come, and I need help. 330 00:16:29,435 --> 00:16:31,206 Agh! 331 00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:34,004 In case you haven't noticed, my hands don't work, 332 00:16:34,028 --> 00:16:35,381 and because of my condition, 333 00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,678 if I don't come, it builds up, 334 00:16:37,702 --> 00:16:41,686 and it really fucking hurts! 335 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,024 Usually, my nurse will help me, 336 00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:46,028 but she's been on maternity leave 337 00:16:46,052 --> 00:16:47,698 for the past month. 338 00:16:47,722 --> 00:16:50,119 She‐‐she usually, like... 339 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,581 Yes. RAMY: Okay. 340 00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:56,340 But now, they assigned me this 50‐year‐old bald guy. 341 00:16:56,364 --> 00:16:58,260 No way I'm asking him. 342 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,058 W‐what if, uh‐what if we just put you in the bed 343 00:17:01,082 --> 00:17:03,354 and‐‐and you just sleep, and then maybe you'll get a wet dream, right? 344 00:17:03,378 --> 00:17:06,360 If it's so built up, you'll‐‐ I don't get those anymore. 345 00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:10,284 Agh, dude, fucking dying, man. 346 00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:13,500 You know, I picked Atlantic City 347 00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:17,465 because I knew I'd have a bunch of options. 348 00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,302 Didn't think you would cock‐block me. 349 00:17:19,326 --> 00:17:21,181 I‐I don't know, man. 350 00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:22,935 I‐I'm sorry. Like... 351 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,565 Yeah, now I can't even go back to that strip club. 352 00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:28,822 All the snow out there‐‐ it's all accumulated. 353 00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:30,449 My chair would get fucked up. 354 00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:31,744 What do you want to do, man, 355 00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,205 just so we can make you feel better? 356 00:17:33,229 --> 00:17:36,128 We're in Atlantic City. Call a hooker. 357 00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:38,048 No, dude. I don't want that energy in here. 358 00:17:38,072 --> 00:17:39,677 It's‐Oh, fuck your energy. 359 00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:41,639 I'm dying, man. 360 00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:43,768 What if we get you on Tinder, yeah, and you can just, like, 361 00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,104 maybe match with a nice woman, 362 00:17:45,128 --> 00:17:47,108 and then‐‐and then she can come over, 363 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,404 and‐‐and something could happen organically? 364 00:17:49,428 --> 00:17:52,620 I am not going on Tinder 365 00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:54,498 to use a woman. 366 00:17:54,522 --> 00:17:57,086 I'm not you. 367 00:18:00,743 --> 00:18:03,540 All right, all right. Hey, hey, what if, uh... 368 00:18:05,628 --> 00:18:08,299 What if I‐‐what if I‐‐ what if I help you? 369 00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:13,703 Like‐‐like, dude, 370 00:18:13,727 --> 00:18:15,916 if you're gonna die or something, 371 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:19,781 I'll, uh... I'll jerk you off. 372 00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:28,357 You think jerking me off is less haram than a hooker? 373 00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:29,777 I don't know. I don't know, all right? 374 00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:31,614 I‐I‐I‐‐I'm just‐‐I'm just trying to do the right thing. 375 00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:33,535 The fuck is wrong with you? 376 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:34,912 You want to jerk me off 377 00:18:34,936 --> 00:18:37,876 so you can feel 378 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,505 like a better Muslim. 379 00:18:39,529 --> 00:18:43,345 You're not going to use my come 380 00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:46,375 to wash your sins. 381 00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,984 All right, man. Okay, all right. Just let's 382 00:18:50,008 --> 00:18:51,153 we'll‐‐we'll call somebody. 383 00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:53,616 Thank you. Thank you. Okay. 384 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,770 - Hurry up. - All right, I'm on it. 385 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,469 What part are you at? 386 00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:07,978 I'm at the Kaaba. 387 00:19:08,002 --> 00:19:09,690 It's so unreal. 388 00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:13,447 Really? Oh, man. 389 00:19:13,471 --> 00:19:16,077 Oh... 390 00:19:16,101 --> 00:19:18,917 It feels like I'm, man. 391 00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:22,465 For real? MO: It's so amazing. 392 00:19:22,489 --> 00:19:24,804 It's‐‐it's like a 393 00:19:24,828 --> 00:19:26,808 it's like an apocalypse of snow outside, 394 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,770 and 395 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:32,486 I'm in and I can 396 00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:34,280 like, feel the warmth. 397 00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,076 Like, really feel it? 398 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,411 I mean, almost. 399 00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:39,440 Okay. 400 00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:49,042 Ohh... 401 00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:55,281 Bro, I know a guy who kissed the Black Stone once, 402 00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:57,451 woke up the next day with a cold sore. 403 00:19:57,475 --> 00:19:59,229 He had to sit out the rest of Hajj. 404 00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:11,146 You're saying it wrong. You're drunk. 405 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,983 I got some sins I gotta clear, too. 406 00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:20,498 If you could please make it, that‐‐that would be, uh, amazing. 407 00:20:20,522 --> 00:20:22,902 Okay, thank you, Lindsay. 408 00:20:25,699 --> 00:20:26,886 Another no? 409 00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:28,096 She said she's gonna try, 410 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,934 but nobody wants to come because of the snow. 411 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:32,313 - Ah, fuck. - I tried everything, dude, 412 00:20:32,337 --> 00:20:33,775 every website. 413 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,487 I talked to a pimp. 414 00:20:35,511 --> 00:20:37,491 Like, a pimp has my phone number right now. 415 00:20:37,515 --> 00:20:39,369 I don't‐‐he could do anything with that. 416 00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:45,739 All right, listen. 417 00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:50,265 If this is not 418 00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:55,341 about pleasing your Allah... 419 00:20:57,555 --> 00:21:01,706 Then maybe 420 00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,333 you can do this. 421 00:21:03,357 --> 00:21:05,922 Look, man, I‐I don't think 422 00:21:05,946 --> 00:21:09,095 Allah would be pleased by this. 423 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,143 Just tell me how you would do it. 424 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:15,149 Look, I think I'd just try to do 425 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:19,616 whatever, you know, the lowest‐impact version of it would be. 426 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,998 Like, maybe, uh, I'd put my hand on your hand, and just kind of, like, 427 00:21:23,022 --> 00:21:25,127 guide like that so it feels like you, like you're doing it. 428 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,591 No, man. You'd pull my shoulder out. 429 00:21:27,615 --> 00:21:30,220 Right, okay. Um 430 00:21:30,244 --> 00:21:32,099 w‐what if I take this towel, yeah? 431 00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:33,644 It's a soft towel. 432 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:37,652 I place it on, and I just kind of, like, you know, 433 00:21:37,676 --> 00:21:42,018 the two ends and just kind of create some torque and‐‐and‐‐and... 434 00:21:43,814 --> 00:21:45,292 Fine. 435 00:21:45,316 --> 00:21:50,052 Just promise me 436 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,098 that you're going to hate this. 437 00:21:52,122 --> 00:21:54,352 Just tell me you're grossed out by it. 438 00:21:54,376 --> 00:21:56,690 Tell me you're a shitty Muslim. 439 00:21:56,714 --> 00:21:58,945 I'm‐‐yeah, dude, I'm grossed out by it, 440 00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:01,534 and I'm 441 00:22:01,558 --> 00:22:03,788 I'm‐‐I am a shitty Muslim, all right? 442 00:22:03,812 --> 00:22:06,233 I'm a‐‐I'm a fucking‐‐ I'm a piece of shit Muslim. 443 00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:45,287 Feel it? Yeah, yeah. 444 00:22:45,311 --> 00:22:47,983 Okay, I'm just trying to get... 445 00:23:03,472 --> 00:23:04,701 - No, no, it's not working. - No? No, no? 446 00:23:04,725 --> 00:23:06,162 No, I'm getting rug burn. 447 00:23:06,186 --> 00:23:07,248 Sorry, sorry. 448 00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:08,751 Yeah? STEVE: Yeah, it's fine. 449 00:23:08,775 --> 00:23:10,337 Okay, um, let me just try the pillow. 450 00:23:10,361 --> 00:23:11,548 - Sure. - Try it‐‐try it with the... 451 00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:13,343 Yeah. Yeah? Let's try to... 452 00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:14,846 Uh, great. Yeah? 453 00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:16,224 Put it there. 454 00:23:16,248 --> 00:23:17,434 Get in there, yeah. 455 00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,729 Uh‐huh. Yeah? Okay. 456 00:23:18,753 --> 00:23:20,900 All right. 457 00:23:20,924 --> 00:23:22,862 Ow. 458 00:23:22,886 --> 00:23:25,158 Dude, ease up. 459 00:23:25,182 --> 00:23:27,789 I'm‐‐I'm‐‐all right. 460 00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:29,668 No, no, easy. 461 00:23:29,692 --> 00:23:31,236 Okay, okay. 462 00:23:35,579 --> 00:23:37,224 Agh. 463 00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:40,355 Ah, shit, ow. 464 00:23:40,379 --> 00:23:41,357 Okay, let me try something. 465 00:23:41,381 --> 00:23:42,527 Put‐‐can you put it in drive? 466 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:43,612 Put it in drive. What? 467 00:23:43,636 --> 00:23:44,781 Put it in drive. Just put it... 468 00:23:44,805 --> 00:23:46,117 - What the fuck? - Just put it in drive. 469 00:23:46,141 --> 00:23:47,787 Okay, fine. You got it? 470 00:23:47,811 --> 00:23:49,750 Yeah. It's moving? 471 00:23:49,774 --> 00:23:51,127 Okay. 472 00:23:51,151 --> 00:23:52,505 Ramy, what are you doing? 473 00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:54,240 What? 474 00:24:01,881 --> 00:24:03,819 No. Okay. 475 00:24:08,728 --> 00:24:11,752 Turn it off. Stop. This isn't working. 476 00:24:11,776 --> 00:24:13,380 Yeah, I know, dude. I know it's not fucking working. 477 00:24:13,404 --> 00:24:14,382 I'm trying to‐‐ Shut the fuck up 478 00:24:14,406 --> 00:24:16,302 and give a minute. 479 00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,899 All right, look. 480 00:24:22,923 --> 00:24:27,951 I've been doing this for my entire adult life, 481 00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:30,498 and there is only one way 482 00:24:30,522 --> 00:24:32,776 that this is going to get done. 483 00:24:36,366 --> 00:24:38,078 You have to use your hands. 484 00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:43,774 - Bare hands. - Yeah, yeah, I get that. 485 00:24:43,798 --> 00:24:46,428 - Just get it over with. - Okay, all right. 486 00:24:52,064 --> 00:24:53,794 Ah, cold, cold! 487 00:24:53,818 --> 00:24:56,215 - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Shit. 488 00:24:56,239 --> 00:24:58,178 - Come on, dude. - You want me to, like 489 00:24:58,202 --> 00:24:59,514 maybe I'll put some hot water on it. - Yeah. 490 00:24:59,538 --> 00:25:00,933 Yeah? Okay, all right. 491 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,522 Jeez, you have, like, worse circulation than me. 492 00:25:03,546 --> 00:25:04,965 Ugh. 493 00:25:07,053 --> 00:25:09,325 Agh! 494 00:25:09,349 --> 00:25:12,540 Oh, hurry up, man. 495 00:25:12,564 --> 00:25:14,084 Oh, I'm dying, dude. 496 00:25:14,108 --> 00:25:15,630 Okay, all right, dude. 497 00:25:15,654 --> 00:25:17,132 Just‐‐just give me a sec, all right? 498 00:25:17,156 --> 00:25:19,386 What‐‐what is this? 499 00:25:19,410 --> 00:25:20,598 I'm just‐‐ What are you doing? 500 00:25:20,622 --> 00:25:21,683 Look, I'm just gonna pray, and then‐, 501 00:25:21,707 --> 00:25:22,769 and then we'll do it, all right? 502 00:25:22,793 --> 00:25:23,896 I just‐‐I need to pray. Pray? 503 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,148 No, no, no. 504 00:25:25,172 --> 00:25:26,735 You said this was not 505 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,533 about you feeling good about yourself. 506 00:25:29,557 --> 00:25:31,620 Do not pray right now. 507 00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:32,997 Dude, come on. It's my bachelor party, okay? 508 00:25:33,021 --> 00:25:34,333 I can pray before I jerk you off. 509 00:25:34,357 --> 00:25:37,297 Shut the fuck up. Get over here 510 00:25:37,321 --> 00:25:39,093 and jerk me off 511 00:25:39,117 --> 00:25:41,872 right fucking now. 512 00:26:22,370 --> 00:26:23,389 - You good? - Yep. 513 00:26:23,413 --> 00:26:24,413 Okay. 514 00:26:42,661 --> 00:26:44,288 Hey there. 515 00:26:45,625 --> 00:26:47,461 Hey, um... 516 00:26:53,891 --> 00:26:55,412 You already, uh... 517 00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:57,709 Yeah. 518 00:26:57,733 --> 00:26:59,360 We're‐‐we're good. 519 00:27:00,822 --> 00:27:02,175 I'm still gonna have to charge you. 520 00:27:02,199 --> 00:27:04,430 Yeah, yeah, no, for sure. I got it, um 521 00:27:04,454 --> 00:27:06,458 I got‐‐this is what‐‐ this is what I have. 522 00:27:11,677 --> 00:27:13,096 Okay. 523 00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,522 Yeah. 524 00:27:25,078 --> 00:27:26,641 Dude, if you had just let me pray, 525 00:27:26,665 --> 00:27:28,060 man, it would have timed out perfectly. 526 00:27:28,084 --> 00:27:29,814 If you‐Oh, no, no, no, no. 527 00:27:29,838 --> 00:27:31,735 If you actually believed in God, 528 00:27:31,759 --> 00:27:33,112 you wouldn't have listened to me. 529 00:27:33,136 --> 00:27:34,824 - You told me you were dying. - Ramy... 530 00:27:34,848 --> 00:27:36,995 You looked at me, and you said, "I'm dying." STEVE: Ramy 531 00:27:37,019 --> 00:27:40,920 I don't have the strength to fight right now. 532 00:27:40,944 --> 00:27:42,614 Can you just hold me? 533 00:27:44,576 --> 00:27:45,763 You want me to hold you? 534 00:27:45,787 --> 00:27:48,644 I'm cold, and after what we just did, 535 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:50,188 it was fucking weird, 536 00:27:50,212 --> 00:27:53,385 so could you just hold me? 537 00:27:56,391 --> 00:27:57,936 Yeah. 538 00:28:07,581 --> 00:28:10,729 It's a miracle, subhanallah. 539 00:28:10,753 --> 00:28:12,817 Subhanallah, indeed. And you don't have to worry 540 00:28:12,841 --> 00:28:15,823 about your sandals getting stolen at the. 541 00:28:15,847 --> 00:28:17,577 Without all the germs. 542 00:28:17,601 --> 00:28:19,980 I can really come around to this. 543 00:28:22,109 --> 00:28:24,716 I'm telling you, bro, it's incredible. 544 00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:26,636 Look at this. 545 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,310 Wow. AHMED: Wow. 546 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:35,361 Check out right here. Oh, ho! 547 00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:39,161 H‐help me. Help me. 548 00:28:41,189 --> 00:28:43,545 Here. Go in here. 549 00:29:20,183 --> 00:29:22,163 Yeah, definitely gotta get married. 550 00:29:30,997 --> 00:29:35,022 This is so beautiful. 551 00:29:35,046 --> 00:29:38,279 Please, ya Allah, please forgive my sins. 552 00:29:40,432 --> 00:29:43,832 - Your cousin's here too? - I think he's there, bro.