1
00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:37,384
You're lucky
I still have this on.
2
00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:40,098
What is so pressing?
3
00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:42,185
I‐I just wanted to talk to you
4
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:46,903
about something that I couldn't
really talk to you about at the center.
5
00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:51,955
Um, look, I... really like you,
6
00:00:51,979 --> 00:00:54,001
and I told the sheikh
7
00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:56,589
that I would tell you
some things about me,
8
00:00:56,613 --> 00:00:59,971
uh, before we get to know
each other,
9
00:00:59,995 --> 00:01:04,146
and, uh, I‐I think you need
to know that
10
00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,526
I have had sex,
11
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:10,325
and I have watched
a lot of porn,
12
00:01:10,349 --> 00:01:13,832
and‐‐and I've had sex
with people
13
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,504
that I shouldn't
have had it with.
14
00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:17,506
Um...
15
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,886
Yeah, I don't need
to know the details.
16
00:01:21,955 --> 00:01:24,144
Uh, okay, but‐‐yeah,
but the sheikh told me
17
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:26,273
that‐‐that I should, you know,
tell you about...
18
00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:27,777
No, I‐I know who you are.
19
00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,491
I‐I get the vibe.
20
00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:31,993
Like, what vibe?
21
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:33,371
Like‐‐like a‐like a porn vibe?
22
00:01:33,395 --> 00:01:34,749
Like, you feel, like,
a porn vibe off me?
23
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:37,462
No, I‐‐no. I know you've
24
00:01:37,486 --> 00:01:38,674
you've had a past,
25
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:42,097
and I don't need the details.
26
00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:43,892
Really?
27
00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:44,936
Yeah.
28
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,648
I'm just interested
29
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,944
in who you are becoming,
30
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:51,073
who you want to be.
31
00:01:51,097 --> 00:01:53,202
That's it.
32
00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:57,819
Okay.
33
00:02:15,316 --> 00:02:18,419
So this is my room,
34
00:02:18,443 --> 00:02:22,803
and that is all you will
ever see, ever, in person.
35
00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:24,389
This is the rest of the house.
36
00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:27,061
Great lighting.
And this is my mom's piano.
37
00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,526
Blah, blah, blah.
38
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,310
You're popular. You're trying
to tell me you're not popular.
39
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:10,022
You're like a popular person.
40
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:11,191
You're defin‐No!
41
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:13,864
You're definitely
a popular person.
42
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,951
Yeah, I feel like people
are trying to talk to you
43
00:03:15,975 --> 00:03:17,412
and, you know, are
44
00:03:17,436 --> 00:03:20,376
you know, they're‐‐they're‐‐
wanna know what you think.
45
00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:25,679
I mean, not really.
46
00:03:25,703 --> 00:03:28,893
This is the piece
everyone's been talking about.
47
00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:36,408
Wow, that was...
48
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:39,414
Wow, that's‐‐yeah. That.
49
00:03:55,948 --> 00:03:59,371
I just‐‐I feel... so much closer
to God when I'm with you.
50
00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:03,045
I feel the same way, too,
'cause I have to teach you so much.
51
00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:14,777
Hey, what's up?
52
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:17,305
Pack your bag.
Come outside, bitch.
53
00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:22,543
There he is! Let's go, baby!
54
00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:23,962
Get your shit.
55
00:04:23,986 --> 00:04:27,176
We're going to Atlantic City.
56
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,387
What?
57
00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:30,726
Your bachelor party. Let's go.
58
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,063
Yeah, I'm‐‐I'm not getting
married. ‐ Come on, man.
59
00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,483
We know how seriously
you've been taking Zainab, bro.
60
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,738
You've been talking to her
for a month nonstop.
61
00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:38,908
You've been leading prayers. You've
got prayer beads around your neck.
62
00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:40,036
Your posture's better.
63
00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,204
It's only a matter of time, bro.
64
00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:42,415
You're on a Muslim schedule.
65
00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:43,960
You're gonna be married
within a month.
66
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,505
Yasmina and I did our katb kitab
67
00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:47,634
17 days after our parents met.
68
00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:49,012
The reason I know the days is,
69
00:04:49,036 --> 00:04:50,181
we were gonna wait ten days,
70
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:52,060
but then she got
her menstrual cycle,
71
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,105
so we pushed a week. 17 days.
72
00:04:54,129 --> 00:04:56,234
Yeah, dude, our parents
haven't even met yet.
73
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,863
That's why it's the right time!
74
00:04:57,887 --> 00:05:00,117
I don't like how white people
do their bachelor parties.
75
00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:01,996
It's really weird, man.
76
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,541
They do them
right before the wedding.
77
00:05:03,565 --> 00:05:05,252
They're already committed.
78
00:05:05,276 --> 00:05:07,090
That's disgusting.
79
00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:09,010
Who‐‐who came up with this?
80
00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,387
Steve. Steve did.
81
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,058
Look, man.
82
00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:13,686
It's a really good night
for me to sin.
83
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:16,233
I've got my virtual umrah
scheduled for later tonight.
84
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:17,443
Virtual umrah?
85
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,239
Oh, my God. Shut up!
86
00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:20,282
Yeah, man.
I've got a guy in Mecca
87
00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:22,036
doing umrah for me.
88
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,084
It's a new startup. The patent
is pending. Fatwa's pending too.
89
00:05:25,108 --> 00:05:26,796
I got the VR working.
90
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,134
I got the guy heading
to umrah right now.
91
00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:31,012
All right?
He's gonna be in Mecca.
92
00:05:31,036 --> 00:05:33,433
He's‐‐all my sins
are gonna be wiped clean
93
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,562
within six hours,
94
00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:36,983
so I gotta get in some shit
right now.
95
00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:39,655
I'm just going to make sure none of
you guys do anything you're gonna regret.
96
00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:42,911
He wants to go.
This guy's a gambling addict.
97
00:05:42,935 --> 00:05:44,289
I will not touch the slots.
98
00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:46,459
I'm not gonna gamble.
I'm just driving.
99
00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:47,963
Yeah, look, I don't want to go
100
00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:49,048
to Atlantic City, all right?
101
00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:50,217
It's disgusting.
102
00:05:50,241 --> 00:05:51,679
It's a bunch of haram shit
103
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:53,766
that I'm‐‐I'm not doing anymore.
104
00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:56,606
Hey, man, ever
since you've been so religious,
105
00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:59,862
I've barely seen you,
and once you get married,
106
00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:02,910
I'm never gonna see you.
107
00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:05,164
So let's just try
to have some fun
108
00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:08,378
one last time.
109
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,132
What's going on? Are you okay?
110
00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:12,638
- Just get in the fucking van.
- Get in the fucking car.
111
00:06:12,662 --> 00:06:14,808
My guy is waiting
for his flight to Mecca, okay?
112
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,812
He already has the‐‐
the haram on.
113
00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:18,440
Let me‐‐let me just‐‐
let me sleep on it.
114
00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:19,610
Maybe we'll go tomorrow. I‐‐.
115
00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:20,862
No, Ramy. We gotta go
116
00:06:20,886 --> 00:06:22,323
before the snowstorm hits
117
00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:24,160
or you're gonna be snowed in
with your family
118
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,997
and the next thing you know, you're
gonna be married before it melts.
119
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,709
You wanna go that bad?
120
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,337
No, I'm only going
'cause you're going.
121
00:06:29,361 --> 00:06:30,757
It's haram.
I understand it's haram.
122
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:34,723
But it's gonna snow.
I don't do well with snow.
123
00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:36,309
Look, one‐‐one night, okay?
124
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,690
One night, and we're not
gonna do anything crazy. Yeah?
125
00:06:38,714 --> 00:06:40,819
Keep it halal 100%.
126
00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:42,238
Bring some sheets, though.
127
00:06:42,262 --> 00:06:44,117
Some of these hotels
have bad sheets.
128
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,286
- Extra ones, just in case.
- Shut up.
129
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,164
Just get your shit. Hurry up.
130
00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,876
Shut the fuck up, Ahmed. MO: Dude,
what the fuck are you bringing up sheets?
131
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,100
I saw blood on a sheet.
132
00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:54,930
Ugh. Smells like old carpet.
133
00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,646
What the fuck
is this hotel, Steve?
134
00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:00,441
It was the only hotel left.
135
00:07:00,465 --> 00:07:02,111
There's a big fight
this weekend.
136
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,491
Bro, it's like, 45 minutes
away from the main strip.
137
00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,871
Hey, man, this is one
of the only spots
138
00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,419
not hit by Hurricane Sandy.
It's resilient.
139
00:07:10,443 --> 00:07:12,006
I think it's kind of nice
that we're far away
140
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,383
from all the distractions.
It's good.
141
00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:14,720
Oh, shit, bro. It's like
142
00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:16,222
strip club is like
six blocks away.
143
00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:18,435
Yeah, I know.
They don't have a ramp,
144
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,314
- so I brought my manual wheelchair.
- Yeah, why don't we
145
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:22,151
do something
a little bit more low‐key?
146
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,948
Yeah? Like maybe go
to a magic show or something?
147
00:07:24,972 --> 00:07:26,577
Magic? That shit's demonic.
148
00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,539
Astaghfirullah, definitely evil.
149
00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:30,919
You're saying strippers
are more halal than magicians?
150
00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:32,338
100%.
151
00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,674
Magicians speak to jinn.
152
00:07:33,698 --> 00:07:35,678
Strippers express themselves.
153
00:07:35,702 --> 00:07:37,599
Eh, Ahmed, come on, man.
154
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,435
You don't want
to go to a strip club.
155
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,066
No, I don't want to go, but
if I do go, I won't look at them.
156
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:44,237
Maybe I can give some of
the employees some money
157
00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:45,698
to put towards
their studies, inshallah.
158
00:07:45,722 --> 00:07:48,036
Shut the fuck up.
What are you, Drake?
159
00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,455
You're gonna put these
strippers through college?
160
00:07:49,479 --> 00:07:51,669
Yes. This is actually sadaqah.
161
00:07:51,693 --> 00:07:53,213
Dude, this isn't
what we agreed on.
162
00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:54,508
Ramy,
163
00:07:54,532 --> 00:07:56,846
you've been haram
your entire life.
164
00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:58,516
I know how you are with women,
165
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,979
so let's not pretend
that you can't do this
166
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:02,022
for one more night.
167
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:05,154
Come on, man, let's go.
168
00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:06,699
Let's get out of here.
I'm running out of time.
169
00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:08,786
Let's get some titties in Steve's
face.
170
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:10,623
- Yes, we should.
- Yeah, you guys check in.
171
00:08:10,647 --> 00:08:13,003
I'll meet you upstairs.
I gotta call Yasmina.
172
00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:15,090
Yeah. Here, I'll
take the fucking bag.
173
00:08:15,114 --> 00:08:16,951
- Thank you.
- All right, no problem.
174
00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:16,212
Ex‐‐excuse me, sir,
175
00:09:16,236 --> 00:09:19,385
in the blue hoodie.
176
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,805
Yeah, what?
177
00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:23,561
I need you to push
this button for me.
178
00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:25,272
Why can't you fucking do it?
179
00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:28,320
I'm Muslim. I can't, man.
180
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:30,575
I just need you to push
this button for me.
181
00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:42,222
You hit the jackpot,
you can keep all the winnings.
182
00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:43,726
I can't take the money.
183
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,187
It's haram.
It's the devil's work.
184
00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:46,439
Yeah, whatever, man.
All I gotta do
185
00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:47,525
is hit this button?
186
00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:48,861
Yeah.
187
00:09:48,885 --> 00:09:50,698
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Use your right hand.
188
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:53,579
Always lead with your right.
189
00:10:00,491 --> 00:10:03,849
Holy shit. $1,400!
190
00:10:03,873 --> 00:10:06,145
How the fuck did you know, man?
191
00:10:06,169 --> 00:10:08,693
I just do. I always do.
192
00:10:11,179 --> 00:10:13,034
I gotta go. I gotta go pray
193
00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,871
before I go to the strip club
with my friends.
194
00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,935
Yeah, I'm gonna do some
fucking praying of my own.
195
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,616
Get down here. Get down
here and give my man a lap dance.
196
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,329
My man's almost about
to get married.
197
00:11:17,353 --> 00:11:18,713
Uh, no, I'm‐‐I'm okay.
Thank you.
198
00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:21,922
I got you, bro.
199
00:11:21,946 --> 00:11:23,174
Uh, I'm okay. Thank
you, thank you so much.
200
00:11:23,198 --> 00:11:24,385
So you're Ramy?
201
00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:25,847
Gonna get married?
202
00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:29,019
Um, w‐well, our, uh‐‐
our parents are about to meet,
203
00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:30,773
and we're Muslim, so...
204
00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:33,737
Hmm... Muslim.
205
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:37,327
Yeah, yeah, and um‐‐
you know, in our
206
00:11:37,351 --> 00:11:39,791
in our culture,
when the parents meet,
207
00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:42,254
uh, usually, we try
to get married quickly
208
00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:45,010
so that we‐‐we don't have sex
before marriage.
209
00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:48,976
Oh, yeah? RAMY: Uh...
210
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,105
Yeah.
211
00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:53,485
Um, so‐‐so yeah, that's, uh...
212
00:11:53,509 --> 00:11:55,990
That's‐‐that's what's happening
right now.
213
00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:59,204
So‐‐so this is all a little‐‐
little premature, uh...
214
00:12:00,982 --> 00:12:06,052
So, uh...
215
00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:08,807
Sorry, c‐can you, uh
216
00:12:08,831 --> 00:12:11,563
c‐could you take those off?
217
00:12:11,587 --> 00:12:13,149
These? Yeah.
218
00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,863
Uh, c‐can you‐‐
can you take them off?
219
00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:19,078
Like, no, take them off,
seriously.
220
00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:21,332
Those are my prayer beads.
My‐‐my sheikh
221
00:12:21,356 --> 00:12:22,502
please, I need those.
222
00:12:25,072 --> 00:12:28,096
Yeah. Dude.
223
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,691
Whoa. What happened to Ramy?
224
00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:36,052
Who cares?
225
00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:47,885
Ramy, you okay?
226
00:12:47,909 --> 00:12:49,723
Dude, it's fucking disgusting
in there.
227
00:12:49,747 --> 00:12:51,058
I know. I agree.
228
00:12:51,082 --> 00:12:52,562
Then why are you here, man?
229
00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,524
I thought you knew better
than this.
230
00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:56,486
I just expected more from you.
231
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,699
Me? You expected more from me?
232
00:12:58,723 --> 00:13:00,368
Yeah. AHMED: Do
you know how many times
233
00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:02,372
I've watched you
do crazy things,
234
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:05,128
slowly waiting, praying
235
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,798
that you do the right thing?
236
00:13:06,822 --> 00:13:08,510
- I‐I know.
- I never judged you!
237
00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:10,806
I just prayed for you.
238
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,685
Do you know how many times
I've prayed for you?
239
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,188
I've prayed for you more times
240
00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:15,566
than I prayed for the refugees.
241
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:17,402
Then I feel guilty about that
242
00:13:17,426 --> 00:13:19,031
because I say to myself, "Ahmed",
243
00:13:19,055 --> 00:13:20,241
"why are you praying for Ramy?
244
00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:21,536
"You could pray
for the refugees.
245
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,206
Why? You don't know
who to decide to‐‐".
246
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:26,378
Then I get a panic attack,
and I feel bad about myself
247
00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:29,594
because I can send that energy
to those kids, but no,
248
00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,013
I gotta send them to you
249
00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:33,142
when I know you
ain't worth shit.
250
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:36,065
Okay, look, man,
I'm‐‐I'm sorry. I'm‐‐I'm just‐.
251
00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:38,862
You don't think I know
this strip joint is disgusting?
252
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,200
But I got other demons
to deal with myself.
253
00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:45,083
I could be a world poker
champion!
254
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,711
I'm just trying to do
the right thing, okay?
255
00:13:46,735 --> 00:13:48,381
You're not doing
the right thing.
256
00:13:48,405 --> 00:13:50,051
You're using the urinal.
It's haram.
257
00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:52,640
All that splash‐back's
getting on your clothes.
258
00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:54,393
You're covered in piss.
259
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,188
Your prayers won't count.
260
00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:18,817
Dude, we‐‐we‐No, no.
261
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,028
Excuse me. Sorry.
262
00:14:20,052 --> 00:14:21,113
I, uh‐STEVE: Ramy, get out.
263
00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:22,533
Here, thank you for your work,
264
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:23,744
but I‐‐we gotta go. We gotta go.
265
00:14:23,768 --> 00:14:26,206
Here, it's‐‐here.
266
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,668
For you.
Yep, we're getting out of here.
267
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,716
Ramy, don't do this.
268
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,429
Ramy, I swear to God, no.
269
00:14:33,453 --> 00:14:34,724
No!
270
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,811
Ramy. Fuck.
271
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,690
Come on, guys. Let's go.
We're getting out of here.
272
00:14:38,714 --> 00:14:39,817
Dude, what are you talking
about, man?
273
00:14:39,841 --> 00:14:41,028
Hold on a second.
274
00:14:41,052 --> 00:14:42,490
I got‐‐I got another 30 minutes.
275
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,827
My guy's about to check in
to the Mecca Hilton Towers.
276
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,121
I don't want to be here anymore.
277
00:14:46,145 --> 00:14:48,417
You interrupted a lap dance.
278
00:14:48,441 --> 00:14:49,921
You don't do that.
279
00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:51,298
This place isn't good for us.
280
00:14:51,322 --> 00:14:53,052
It's‐‐it's not good
for the people who work here.
281
00:14:53,076 --> 00:14:54,681
Half this place
is like an office.
282
00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:56,977
There's‐‐there's a guy, like,
printing something back there.
283
00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,983
Like, spiritually,
this‐‐this sucks.
284
00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:01,151
Stop with the religious shit.
285
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:02,278
Steve, I'm telling you, man,
286
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,615
if you just believed
in something,
287
00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:05,159
it would change everything
for you.
288
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:06,538
Just trust me.
289
00:15:06,562 --> 00:15:09,585
It is always the same
with the religious people.
290
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:14,554
Muslims, Christians‐all you do
is tell people how to live their lives.
291
00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:16,056
Dude, I'm trying to help you.
That's what I'm trying to do.
292
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,643
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
293
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,106
You guys can't be arguing
about God and shit in here.
294
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:22,486
No religion.
I mean, it's a titty joint.
295
00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:23,905
What's the matter with you?
296
00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,661
I got a certain ambience
to uphold around here,
297
00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:29,500
and you fucking guys are
making everything uncomfortable.
298
00:15:29,524 --> 00:15:30,878
You know what? I want you
299
00:15:30,902 --> 00:15:32,464
and your whole fucking crew
out of here.
300
00:15:32,488 --> 00:15:33,425
What? RAMY: Yeah,
sure. No problem.
301
00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:34,719
Take 'em out. Yes!
302
00:15:34,743 --> 00:15:36,346
Claudio, get
these fucking guys out of here.
303
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,683
Yeah, we're trying to
leave. That's what we're doing.
304
00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:38,894
Good. Take the furry‐neck
motherfucker
305
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,396
and the turtleneck motherfucker.
306
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,941
- Take them both out and go!
- Come on!
307
00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:42,985
Yes, sir. Let's go.
Come on, let's go.
308
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,071
Come on, Ramy. Come on!
309
00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:46,618
- Ah, jeez!
- The fuck out of here.
310
00:15:46,642 --> 00:15:48,454
Fucking last time
I see you this year.
311
00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:50,416
You gotta change the tubes
in your soda machines.
312
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,836
Take a walk‐‐take a walk!
313
00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:54,091
Claudio, get this guy
and take his fucking crew out,
314
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,636
all of them!
315
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,055
All right, folks,
it's snowing hard out there,
316
00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:01,337
so let's stay warm
with some half‐off dances!
317
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:07,325
Why, uh‐‐why are we
in this room again?
318
00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:09,622
It's the only one
with a roll‐in shower.
319
00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:10,833
Roll‐in shower?
320
00:16:10,857 --> 00:16:12,127
Okay, are we showering you
this weekend?
321
00:16:12,151 --> 00:16:14,196
Is that...
322
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,763
Dude, what‐‐what's wrong, man?
323
00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:18,849
What's happening?
324
00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:20,184
I have to come.
325
00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:21,604
I know you wanted
to stay at the strip club,
326
00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:23,900
dude, but I'm telling you,
it's not good for you
327
00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:24,986
to be there. No,
328
00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:26,405
you don't fucking get it.
329
00:16:26,429 --> 00:16:29,411
I gotta come, and I need help.
330
00:16:29,435 --> 00:16:31,206
Agh!
331
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:34,004
In case you haven't noticed,
my hands don't work,
332
00:16:34,028 --> 00:16:35,381
and because of my condition,
333
00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,678
if I don't come, it builds up,
334
00:16:37,702 --> 00:16:41,686
and it really fucking hurts!
335
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,024
Usually, my nurse will help me,
336
00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:46,028
but she's been
on maternity leave
337
00:16:46,052 --> 00:16:47,698
for the past month.
338
00:16:47,722 --> 00:16:50,119
She‐‐she usually, like...
339
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,581
Yes. RAMY: Okay.
340
00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:56,340
But now, they assigned me
this 50‐year‐old bald guy.
341
00:16:56,364 --> 00:16:58,260
No way I'm asking him.
342
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,058
W‐what if, uh‐what if
we just put you in the bed
343
00:17:01,082 --> 00:17:03,354
and‐‐and you just sleep, and then
maybe you'll get a wet dream, right?
344
00:17:03,378 --> 00:17:06,360
If it's so built up, you'll‐‐
I don't get those anymore.
345
00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:10,284
Agh, dude, fucking dying, man.
346
00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:13,500
You know, I picked Atlantic City
347
00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:17,465
because I knew
I'd have a bunch of options.
348
00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,302
Didn't think
you would cock‐block me.
349
00:17:19,326 --> 00:17:21,181
I‐I don't know, man.
350
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:22,935
I‐I'm sorry. Like...
351
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,565
Yeah, now I can't even go
back to that strip club.
352
00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:28,822
All the snow out there‐‐
it's all accumulated.
353
00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:30,449
My chair would get fucked up.
354
00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:31,744
What do you want to do, man,
355
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,205
just so we can make you
feel better?
356
00:17:33,229 --> 00:17:36,128
We're in Atlantic City.
Call a hooker.
357
00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:38,048
No, dude. I don't
want that energy in here.
358
00:17:38,072 --> 00:17:39,677
It's‐Oh, fuck your energy.
359
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:41,639
I'm dying, man.
360
00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:43,768
What if we get you on Tinder,
yeah, and you can just, like,
361
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,104
maybe match with a nice woman,
362
00:17:45,128 --> 00:17:47,108
and then‐‐and then she
can come over,
363
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,404
and‐‐and something
could happen organically?
364
00:17:49,428 --> 00:17:52,620
I am not going on Tinder
365
00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:54,498
to use a woman.
366
00:17:54,522 --> 00:17:57,086
I'm not you.
367
00:18:00,743 --> 00:18:03,540
All right, all right.
Hey, hey, what if, uh...
368
00:18:05,628 --> 00:18:08,299
What if I‐‐what if I‐‐
what if I help you?
369
00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:13,703
Like‐‐like, dude,
370
00:18:13,727 --> 00:18:15,916
if you're gonna die
or something,
371
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:19,781
I'll, uh... I'll jerk you off.
372
00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:28,357
You think jerking me off
is less haram than a hooker?
373
00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:29,777
I don't know.
I don't know, all right?
374
00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:31,614
I‐I‐I‐‐I'm just‐‐I'm just
trying to do the right thing.
375
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:33,535
The fuck is wrong with you?
376
00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:34,912
You want to jerk me off
377
00:18:34,936 --> 00:18:37,876
so you can feel
378
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,505
like a better Muslim.
379
00:18:39,529 --> 00:18:43,345
You're not going to use my come
380
00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:46,375
to wash your sins.
381
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,984
All right, man. Okay,
all right. Just let's
382
00:18:50,008 --> 00:18:51,153
we'll‐‐we'll call somebody.
383
00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:53,616
Thank you. Thank you. Okay.
384
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,770
- Hurry up.
- All right, I'm on it.
385
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,469
What part are you at?
386
00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:07,978
I'm at the Kaaba.
387
00:19:08,002 --> 00:19:09,690
It's so unreal.
388
00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:13,447
Really? Oh, man.
389
00:19:13,471 --> 00:19:16,077
Oh...
390
00:19:16,101 --> 00:19:18,917
It feels like I'm, man.
391
00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:22,465
For real? MO: It's so amazing.
392
00:19:22,489 --> 00:19:24,804
It's‐‐it's like a
393
00:19:24,828 --> 00:19:26,808
it's like an apocalypse
of snow outside,
394
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,770
and
395
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:32,486
I'm in and I can
396
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:34,280
like, feel the warmth.
397
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,076
Like, really feel it?
398
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,411
I mean, almost.
399
00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:39,440
Okay.
400
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:49,042
Ohh...
401
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:55,281
Bro, I know a guy who kissed
the Black Stone once,
402
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:57,451
woke up the next day
with a cold sore.
403
00:19:57,475 --> 00:19:59,229
He had to sit out
the rest of Hajj.
404
00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:11,146
You're saying it wrong. You're drunk.
405
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,983
I got some sins
I gotta clear, too.
406
00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:20,498
If you could please make it,
that‐‐that would be, uh, amazing.
407
00:20:20,522 --> 00:20:22,902
Okay, thank you, Lindsay.
408
00:20:25,699 --> 00:20:26,886
Another no?
409
00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:28,096
She said she's gonna try,
410
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,934
but nobody wants to come
because of the snow.
411
00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:32,313
- Ah, fuck.
- I tried everything, dude,
412
00:20:32,337 --> 00:20:33,775
every website.
413
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,487
I talked to a pimp.
414
00:20:35,511 --> 00:20:37,491
Like, a pimp has
my phone number right now.
415
00:20:37,515 --> 00:20:39,369
I don't‐‐he could do
anything with that.
416
00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:45,739
All right, listen.
417
00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:50,265
If this is not
418
00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:55,341
about pleasing your Allah...
419
00:20:57,555 --> 00:21:01,706
Then maybe
420
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,333
you can do this.
421
00:21:03,357 --> 00:21:05,922
Look, man, I‐I don't think
422
00:21:05,946 --> 00:21:09,095
Allah would be pleased by this.
423
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,143
Just tell me
how you would do it.
424
00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:15,149
Look, I think I'd just try to do
425
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:19,616
whatever, you know, the
lowest‐impact version of it would be.
426
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,998
Like, maybe, uh, I'd put my hand
on your hand, and just kind of, like,
427
00:21:23,022 --> 00:21:25,127
guide like that so it feels
like you, like you're doing it.
428
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,591
No, man.
You'd pull my shoulder out.
429
00:21:27,615 --> 00:21:30,220
Right, okay. Um
430
00:21:30,244 --> 00:21:32,099
w‐what if I take
this towel, yeah?
431
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:33,644
It's a soft towel.
432
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:37,652
I place it on, and I just
kind of, like, you know,
433
00:21:37,676 --> 00:21:42,018
the two ends and just kind of
create some torque and‐‐and‐‐and...
434
00:21:43,814 --> 00:21:45,292
Fine.
435
00:21:45,316 --> 00:21:50,052
Just promise me
436
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,098
that you're going to hate this.
437
00:21:52,122 --> 00:21:54,352
Just tell me
you're grossed out by it.
438
00:21:54,376 --> 00:21:56,690
Tell me you're a shitty Muslim.
439
00:21:56,714 --> 00:21:58,945
I'm‐‐yeah, dude,
I'm grossed out by it,
440
00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:01,534
and I'm
441
00:22:01,558 --> 00:22:03,788
I'm‐‐I am a shitty Muslim,
all right?
442
00:22:03,812 --> 00:22:06,233
I'm a‐‐I'm a fucking‐‐
I'm a piece of shit Muslim.
443
00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:45,287
Feel it? Yeah, yeah.
444
00:22:45,311 --> 00:22:47,983
Okay, I'm just trying to get...
445
00:23:03,472 --> 00:23:04,701
- No, no, it's not working.
- No? No, no?
446
00:23:04,725 --> 00:23:06,162
No, I'm getting rug burn.
447
00:23:06,186 --> 00:23:07,248
Sorry, sorry.
448
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:08,751
Yeah? STEVE: Yeah, it's fine.
449
00:23:08,775 --> 00:23:10,337
Okay, um, let me just try
the pillow.
450
00:23:10,361 --> 00:23:11,548
- Sure.
- Try it‐‐try it with the...
451
00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:13,343
Yeah. Yeah? Let's try to...
452
00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:14,846
Uh, great. Yeah?
453
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:16,224
Put it there.
454
00:23:16,248 --> 00:23:17,434
Get in there, yeah.
455
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,729
Uh‐huh. Yeah? Okay.
456
00:23:18,753 --> 00:23:20,900
All right.
457
00:23:20,924 --> 00:23:22,862
Ow.
458
00:23:22,886 --> 00:23:25,158
Dude, ease up.
459
00:23:25,182 --> 00:23:27,789
I'm‐‐I'm‐‐all right.
460
00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:29,668
No, no, easy.
461
00:23:29,692 --> 00:23:31,236
Okay, okay.
462
00:23:35,579 --> 00:23:37,224
Agh.
463
00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:40,355
Ah, shit, ow.
464
00:23:40,379 --> 00:23:41,357
Okay, let me try something.
465
00:23:41,381 --> 00:23:42,527
Put‐‐can you put it in drive?
466
00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:43,612
Put it in drive. What?
467
00:23:43,636 --> 00:23:44,781
Put it in drive. Just put it...
468
00:23:44,805 --> 00:23:46,117
- What the fuck?
- Just put it in drive.
469
00:23:46,141 --> 00:23:47,787
Okay, fine. You got it?
470
00:23:47,811 --> 00:23:49,750
Yeah. It's moving?
471
00:23:49,774 --> 00:23:51,127
Okay.
472
00:23:51,151 --> 00:23:52,505
Ramy, what are you doing?
473
00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:54,240
What?
474
00:24:01,881 --> 00:24:03,819
No. Okay.
475
00:24:08,728 --> 00:24:11,752
Turn it off. Stop.
This isn't working.
476
00:24:11,776 --> 00:24:13,380
Yeah, I know, dude. I
know it's not fucking working.
477
00:24:13,404 --> 00:24:14,382
I'm trying to‐‐ Shut the fuck up
478
00:24:14,406 --> 00:24:16,302
and give a minute.
479
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,899
All right, look.
480
00:24:22,923 --> 00:24:27,951
I've been doing this
for my entire adult life,
481
00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:30,498
and there is only one way
482
00:24:30,522 --> 00:24:32,776
that this is going to get done.
483
00:24:36,366 --> 00:24:38,078
You have to use your hands.
484
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:43,774
- Bare hands.
- Yeah, yeah, I get that.
485
00:24:43,798 --> 00:24:46,428
- Just get it over with.
- Okay, all right.
486
00:24:52,064 --> 00:24:53,794
Ah, cold, cold!
487
00:24:53,818 --> 00:24:56,215
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Shit.
488
00:24:56,239 --> 00:24:58,178
- Come on, dude.
- You want me to, like
489
00:24:58,202 --> 00:24:59,514
maybe I'll put some hot water on it.
- Yeah.
490
00:24:59,538 --> 00:25:00,933
Yeah? Okay, all right.
491
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,522
Jeez, you have, like,
worse circulation than me.
492
00:25:03,546 --> 00:25:04,965
Ugh.
493
00:25:07,053 --> 00:25:09,325
Agh!
494
00:25:09,349 --> 00:25:12,540
Oh, hurry up, man.
495
00:25:12,564 --> 00:25:14,084
Oh, I'm dying, dude.
496
00:25:14,108 --> 00:25:15,630
Okay, all right, dude.
497
00:25:15,654 --> 00:25:17,132
Just‐‐just give me a sec,
all right?
498
00:25:17,156 --> 00:25:19,386
What‐‐what is this?
499
00:25:19,410 --> 00:25:20,598
I'm just‐‐ What are you doing?
500
00:25:20,622 --> 00:25:21,683
Look, I'm just gonna pray,
and then‐,
501
00:25:21,707 --> 00:25:22,769
and then we'll do it, all right?
502
00:25:22,793 --> 00:25:23,896
I just‐‐I need to pray. Pray?
503
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,148
No, no, no.
504
00:25:25,172 --> 00:25:26,735
You said this was not
505
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,533
about you feeling good
about yourself.
506
00:25:29,557 --> 00:25:31,620
Do not pray right now.
507
00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:32,997
Dude, come on.
It's my bachelor party, okay?
508
00:25:33,021 --> 00:25:34,333
I can pray
before I jerk you off.
509
00:25:34,357 --> 00:25:37,297
Shut the fuck up. Get over here
510
00:25:37,321 --> 00:25:39,093
and jerk me off
511
00:25:39,117 --> 00:25:41,872
right fucking now.
512
00:26:22,370 --> 00:26:23,389
- You good?
- Yep.
513
00:26:23,413 --> 00:26:24,413
Okay.
514
00:26:42,661 --> 00:26:44,288
Hey there.
515
00:26:45,625 --> 00:26:47,461
Hey, um...
516
00:26:53,891 --> 00:26:55,412
You already, uh...
517
00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:57,709
Yeah.
518
00:26:57,733 --> 00:26:59,360
We're‐‐we're good.
519
00:27:00,822 --> 00:27:02,175
I'm still gonna have
to charge you.
520
00:27:02,199 --> 00:27:04,430
Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.
I got it, um
521
00:27:04,454 --> 00:27:06,458
I got‐‐this is what‐‐
this is what I have.
522
00:27:11,677 --> 00:27:13,096
Okay.
523
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,522
Yeah.
524
00:27:25,078 --> 00:27:26,641
Dude, if you had just
let me pray,
525
00:27:26,665 --> 00:27:28,060
man, it would have timed out
perfectly.
526
00:27:28,084 --> 00:27:29,814
If you‐Oh, no, no, no, no.
527
00:27:29,838 --> 00:27:31,735
If you actually believed in God,
528
00:27:31,759 --> 00:27:33,112
you wouldn't have listened
to me.
529
00:27:33,136 --> 00:27:34,824
- You told me you were dying.
- Ramy...
530
00:27:34,848 --> 00:27:36,995
You looked at me, and you
said, "I'm dying." STEVE: Ramy
531
00:27:37,019 --> 00:27:40,920
I don't have the strength
to fight right now.
532
00:27:40,944 --> 00:27:42,614
Can you just hold me?
533
00:27:44,576 --> 00:27:45,763
You want me to hold you?
534
00:27:45,787 --> 00:27:48,644
I'm cold,
and after what we just did,
535
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:50,188
it was fucking weird,
536
00:27:50,212 --> 00:27:53,385
so could you just hold me?
537
00:27:56,391 --> 00:27:57,936
Yeah.
538
00:28:07,581 --> 00:28:10,729
It's a miracle, subhanallah.
539
00:28:10,753 --> 00:28:12,817
Subhanallah, indeed.
And you don't have to worry
540
00:28:12,841 --> 00:28:15,823
about your sandals getting
stolen at the.
541
00:28:15,847 --> 00:28:17,577
Without all the germs.
542
00:28:17,601 --> 00:28:19,980
I can really come around
to this.
543
00:28:22,109 --> 00:28:24,716
I'm telling you, bro,
it's incredible.
544
00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:26,636
Look at this.
545
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,310
Wow. AHMED: Wow.
546
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:35,361
Check out right here. Oh, ho!
547
00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:39,161
H‐help me. Help me.
548
00:28:41,189 --> 00:28:43,545
Here. Go in here.
549
00:29:20,183 --> 00:29:22,163
Yeah, definitely gotta get
married.
550
00:29:30,997 --> 00:29:35,022
This is so beautiful.
551
00:29:35,046 --> 00:29:38,279
Please, ya Allah,
please forgive my sins.
552
00:29:40,432 --> 00:29:43,832
- Your cousin's here too?
- I think he's there, bro.