1 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,840 Subtitles by explosiveskull 𝕄_𝕀_𝕊𝔽𝕠𝕣𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕣 2 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,527 This was the summer before it all went wrong. 3 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,062 British! 4 00:03:15,096 --> 00:03:18,099 That's me, Dale, Boys' Camp section head. 5 00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:19,834 Bulldog! 6 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,435 And that's my best friend, Ben, in his element. 7 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:26,974 Boys' camp, for the entire month, every summer. Here, he was a king. 8 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:35,448 But during the rest of the year... a different story. 9 00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:39,020 The game was British Bulldog. 10 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:41,856 One guy starts in the middle, everyone else to one side, 11 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,558 the goal being to cross to the other side without being touched. 12 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,632 I say touched, 'cause that's what's in the brochure. 13 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:55,770 And that's the display we put on for the parents on visitor's day. 14 00:03:55,803 --> 00:04:00,808 But in reality... chaos. 15 00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:09,583 But no matter what drama occurred, all was forgiven and forgotten minutes later. 16 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:16,456 Often the magical juices of the freezie would enable any residual grudge to melt away. 17 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,027 Come on, top bunks! Two more outs and we got this! 18 00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:23,030 - I call grape! - Me too! Grape! 19 00:04:23,064 --> 00:04:26,566 - If there's only one grape, I get it. - Oh, fuck that! 20 00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,435 Fuck that? Man, fuck you! 21 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,972 Hey! Language! 22 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:34,976 A ninth inning could take forever sometimes, kids jockeying for freezie flavors. 23 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,577 But that's the difference between boys and girls. 24 00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:40,681 Guys can beat the shit out of each other and moments later, best friends. 25 00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:44,685 Girls? Well, if you don't like their new jeans and it's... 26 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:45,686 Bitch! 27 00:04:47,088 --> 00:04:48,623 Hose-bag! 28 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,458 That's me, Amber. 29 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,761 Calm down, ladies! What the hell is going on here? 30 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,762 - Those jeans make her look fat! - Carla said that these jeans make me look fat! 31 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,764 Glorified baby-sitter. 32 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,666 - They don't make you look that fat. - They don't. 33 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,801 - You look perfect, Stacey. - I love you. 34 00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,970 I love you. 35 00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:04,772 I can't tell the difference between your bum, and your front bum. 36 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,074 It's like two bums. 37 00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,877 Come on girls, remember, if you can't say anything nice, 38 00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:12,079 - don't say any... - Fuck off! 39 00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:15,448 Language! Jesus fuck. 40 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,185 - Fuck you, virgin! - I'm not a virgin! 41 00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,587 - Get off me. - Stacey, get off me bitch. 42 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,455 - Kick her ass. - This would go on for hours, 43 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,458 and it would end in tears and candles. 44 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:30,597 I just want to say that I truly love all of you. 45 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:35,736 I just wanted to say that I truly do feel like you're all my sisters, 46 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,172 and I respect that bond. 47 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:43,044 I just wanted to say that I love all of you guys 48 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:48,249 and that I don't think you should ever change and that you should respect yourself, 49 00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:51,652 because they can't ever take that away from you. 50 00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:54,055 I just want to add in, if I can. 51 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,757 I feel like you are all my sisters, 52 00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,927 and that at the end of the day, we have each other, 53 00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:01,494 and that's truly what love is. 54 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:11,571 I just wanted to add to that that I truly do respect everything you're saying, 55 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:18,179 and that this just goes to show how our bond is truly everlasting, 56 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,513 and that's forever, guys. 57 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,724 Thanks, Dany. 58 00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:36,897 But it was great, all of August, we got to be our true selves, just girls, no boys. 59 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,833 And that's just the way we liked it, 60 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,936 the whole month of July, just testosterone, no girls. 61 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,776 - Roger. - Sit the fuck down. 62 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:58,919 Listen, Dale, starting next summer, 63 00:06:58,953 --> 00:07:02,890 Camp Kindlewood, is going to be co-ed. 64 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:07,094 Wait, is that when we can earn school credit? 65 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,230 No. 66 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:14,101 - That's when two girls kiss each other, isn't it? - No, it isn't. 67 00:07:14,135 --> 00:07:16,003 Yes, I'm pretty sure it is. 68 00:07:16,037 --> 00:07:19,340 - I got this VHS tape at home... - No, Dale. 69 00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,742 The camp will be co-ed. 70 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:25,079 There will be boys and girls, the same site, for the entirety of summer. 71 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,214 Huh. 72 00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,984 And that means there will probably have to be some changes made. 73 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,685 Yeah, changes, like what? 74 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,254 No more naked morning dips. 75 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,293 What... that's how we wake up in the morning! 76 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,362 And clean the cracks! 77 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:47,034 Yeah, well... and also, no more peeing wherever you happen to be. 78 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,276 - You mean we gotta walk to the washrooms? - Yes. 79 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,279 - Even for number one? - Specifically, number one! 80 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,781 - So, number two we can just... - No! 81 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:04,785 Both numbers, all numbers, one, two, forty-three, all go into the washroom! 82 00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:07,188 Well, Roger, that's going to cut into our daily schedule. 83 00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:11,225 Well, add this to your schedule. No more firekeepers. 84 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,860 What? 85 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,361 This was the tipping point. 86 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:15,863 Firekeepers was our rite of passage. 87 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:20,734 Our mildly homoerotic end-of-summer manhood ceremony. 88 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,703 So, basically, what you're saying right now is that 89 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,073 anything involving our penises... penii... dicks, 90 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,042 whatever, is just off the table. 91 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,811 - Well, your dicks were never on the table. - Metaphorically. 92 00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:33,681 Then metaphorically, yes. Your dicks are now off the table. 93 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:38,185 Okay, if that's a metaphor, then in reality we can put our dicks on the table? 94 00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:40,020 You are such an ass-wipe! 95 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,155 You know what I mean. 96 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,224 No, I don't know what you mean. 97 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:46,794 The camp is going to be co-ed next summer. 98 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,129 Do you want me to kiss another girl? 99 00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,363 No! 100 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:58,339 No, no, no, no. What it means is, instead of just boys in July, 101 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,876 and just girls in August, 102 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:06,947 there will be both boys and girls in the camp, 103 00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,116 this camp, all together. 104 00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,752 Why are you emphasizing every other word like that? 105 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,989 I'm just trying to set this up, so it's clear. 106 00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:18,692 So, why are you telling me? 107 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:22,463 I need your help to get the necessary buy-in from the other female staff, 108 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:26,267 you know, for the inevitable changes that are coming. 109 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,002 Like what exactly? 110 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:31,405 Well, no more condom balloon fights. 111 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,846 And definitely no more tomacocking. 112 00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:43,484 Great. So anything emasculating. 113 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:46,020 Yes, basically. 114 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:49,990 That reminds me. No more full moon sacrifices. 115 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:55,196 That's Dany. She has mad wicked skills. 116 00:09:58,232 --> 00:10:00,334 So you knew about that? 117 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,037 So it wasn't a dream! Ha! 118 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,474 ...which is what we learned in the last chapter. 119 00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,910 With boys in July and girls in August, 120 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,912 this was actually the first time Dale and I met. 121 00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:14,515 You're gonna end up with one or two options... 122 00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,816 Shit. 123 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,019 Hey. 124 00:10:20,321 --> 00:10:21,255 Thank you. 125 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,892 What? 126 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:28,395 I've got a 10-pack, so it's... 127 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,972 Smooth move, Ex-Lax. 128 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,818 Oh, God! 129 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:13,507 Hey, nice Bela Lugosi. 130 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:18,078 Yeah, well, the party store was all out of Kiefer Sutherland, so. 131 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:27,121 I see they were overstocked on sexy nurse, sexy witch... 132 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,956 I guess that, what is that? 133 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,325 Sexy, neglectful zombie mother? 134 00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:34,828 I don't know how I feel about that one. 135 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,232 Well, come on. Let's go have some fun. Let's go. 136 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,534 - I don't know. I don't know. I mean... - Come on. 137 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,971 ...look, you got all the moves, right? I don't think I could keep up with that. 138 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,507 Well, I can't keep them off much longer. 139 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,575 You gotta, you gotta make your move. 140 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,212 You know, I... I don't know. I think a Slutty Kitten can do... sexy. 141 00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:56,083 Fuck, I meant to say sexy. You're not a slut, obviously, you're not a slut. 142 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,620 - Right? - Wow. 143 00:11:58,653 --> 00:12:02,356 I meant... fuck! 144 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:09,063 And that's... time. Pencils down. 145 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,565 Truthfully, I hadn't given Dale a second thought 146 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,934 until he opened his big mouth again. 147 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,170 There was no turning back from this. 148 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,907 - Hey! Amber! Um... - What? 149 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,177 - Sorry, it's... it is Amber? - Yeah, I mean, obviously. 150 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,079 I turned around when you said Amber. 151 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,514 Sorry. Okay, look. 152 00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:32,353 Um, I just think that it's fine for you to... to ignore me all year and... and hate me, 153 00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:36,957 if I called you a slut. But, I didn't. I... I just misspoke. 154 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,959 Is this supposed to be an apology? 155 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,128 No. That's what I'm saying. 156 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,897 You see, I've been punished with silence and dirty looks all year. 157 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,165 But I didn't even do the crime, right? 158 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,302 It was like a... like a Freud-slip-thing. 159 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,271 Right. Well, you can't just go around calling girls slutty, and expect... 160 00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:54,908 I didn't, that's the thing, right? I... I didn't. 161 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:59,179 I'm serving the sentence right now, but look, like... 162 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:02,617 I should now, like retroactively get to call you a slut at a future date, 163 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:06,320 to justify the punishment that you've given me in advance. 164 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,288 Wow. Alright, well, good luck with that, 165 00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:10,991 but I'm gonna go off to my camp this summer, 166 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,628 so this is gonna have to wait until the fall term. 167 00:13:14,729 --> 00:13:16,263 What camp do you go to? 168 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,385 That's Tiffany. 169 00:13:38,419 --> 00:13:40,554 She thought penicillin was a fashion statement. 170 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:44,224 Love you more. Okay, love you, Daddy. Bye. 171 00:13:47,729 --> 00:13:49,631 I think I need to go to the clinic. 172 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,338 That's Donna. 173 00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:00,407 She read in a magazine once that there's all these ratios in the human face 174 00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:02,109 that determine if we're attractive or not, 175 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,546 and that's why models are always tilting their head to the side, 176 00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:08,315 so the brain can't pick up on the ratios as much. 177 00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:22,996 Thanks, Mr. Coffee. Alright, ladies, let's go meet the boys. 178 00:14:35,777 --> 00:14:38,045 We were ready to stake our claim to the camp. 179 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:42,316 But we planted our flag first, "Say Anything" style. 180 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,720 Remember what we discussed. Girls rule, boys drool. 181 00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:52,192 Okay. Don't forget. Bros before hoes. 182 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,495 Sistas before mistas. 183 00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,230 Dicks before chicks. 184 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,801 Snitches get stitches. 185 00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:04,639 Gas, grass or ass. Nobody rides for free. Let's go! 186 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,351 Hello, counselors. 187 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,387 Well, we are in for an exciting summer. 188 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:27,094 As you well know, and can plainly see, and smell, we have gone co-ed. 189 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,164 Now I myself am very excited over this change, 190 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:36,303 and the future prosperity it can and will bring to this camp. 191 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:42,109 Of course, I am anticipating that not everything will go smooth-ly, 192 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:47,180 so we've added some modules to the usual training week. 193 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,551 Oh, we have Gary here from corporate, 194 00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:54,622 and he is going to lead us through some sensitivity training. 195 00:15:55,857 --> 00:15:57,224 Gary! 196 00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,701 Okay... it's too loud. 197 00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:11,438 That's so loud, that hurts. 198 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,507 I can't hear you, the music's too loud! 199 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,377 That's right, it, it's too loud. 200 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,814 You're hurting the children. 201 00:16:22,717 --> 00:16:28,221 No, not up! Down! It's too loud! 202 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:29,757 It's too... 203 00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:33,861 Okay. 204 00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,235 It's too quiet now, it doesn't work. 205 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:46,573 There's no, there's no beat, it doesn't... there's nothing to this anymore. 206 00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:52,346 Hi, team. I'm Gary, with a Y. You can call me Gar. 207 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:57,517 So, what I'm gonna do for the next few hours is guide you on a journey 208 00:16:57,551 --> 00:17:03,758 through tolerance and awareness so that you have a better understanding of other sex. 209 00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:11,231 Sexes. So you have an understanding of other, um, genders. 210 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,267 Okay, so little ice breaker first. 211 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,470 What we're gonna do is we're gonna divide into two groups. 212 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,474 We're gonna have boys and then, drumroll please, what's next, girls. 213 00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,846 Good. Well, that's a good start. 214 00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:27,547 Okay, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna do some skits. 215 00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:32,787 These skits are a way to promote a healthy lifestyle to someone from the opposite gender. 216 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:35,288 So, here's how we're gonna break this down: 217 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:41,595 Boys, you're gonna help the ladies understand better sun safety. 218 00:17:41,629 --> 00:17:44,297 Ladies, the boys, so I've been told, 219 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:48,535 they're having trouble figuring out appropriate footwear to wear on a hike. 220 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,539 Okay, you have thirty minutes, help each other out. Go! 221 00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:04,819 - Hey, I see you! - Shit. Yo, just play it cool. Play it cool. 222 00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,654 I still see you! 223 00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:10,390 Donna, right? 224 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:15,429 Yeah, my, my name is Donna. I... I am Donna. 225 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,733 Look, we've got something fun planned, so... so we just want to borrow some of your clothes. 226 00:18:19,667 --> 00:18:21,602 We'll bring them right back after the skit. 227 00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:25,640 Is that okay, Don-don? 228 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:33,313 - Yeah, it's like, totally okay. - Cool. 229 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,583 - Okay, yeah. - See you soon. 230 00:18:38,019 --> 00:18:39,419 Okay, bye! 231 00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:45,693 Girls, listen up. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 232 00:18:45,727 --> 00:18:49,396 Just breathe, slow down, it's okay. 233 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:53,333 - What's going on? - The boys, they took our clothes, our personal clothes. 234 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,036 They said they're gonna use them for the skit! 235 00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:58,538 - I'm gonna chew their dicks off. - No, they might like that. 236 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:01,508 No, you know what? It's okay. 237 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,045 The boys are planning on getting us with this skit? 238 00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:05,412 We'll just have to hit them first. 239 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,583 Okay, I am really excited to see these! 240 00:19:09,617 --> 00:19:12,285 So, who's up first, boys or girls? 241 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,589 Okay, ladies, you're up. 242 00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:23,064 So, Ben, how was your winter? 243 00:19:23,097 --> 00:19:25,532 - Good, yeah, yeah, pretty good. - Good, good. 244 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:29,536 - You know, actually, I had a real scare this morning. - Oh? 245 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:34,075 So, I... I wake up and I just... I feel this, this hard lump. 246 00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:36,644 Immediately, I start... I start freaking out. 247 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,913 I mean, it's cancer, it's gotta be cancer, I mean, what else can it be, right? 248 00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:41,348 There goes my summer, there goes my hair, you know, so on and so forth. 249 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,316 - Oh, my God! - Yeah, exactly. 250 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,819 What happened? 251 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:48,321 Oh, no, no, no, it was just, uh, I had a boner. 252 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,858 You know, like... like... like morning wood, so I was just like "Whoa, what's that?" 253 00:19:50,892 --> 00:19:53,995 So, you know, I quickly finished and I rubbed it on Hip-Hop's pillow before he could get up 254 00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:56,097 and called it a day, you know. 255 00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:58,065 Scary, scary in the moment, though. 256 00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:06,439 Oh, yeah. 257 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,542 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 258 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:12,412 Hey, guys, don't we have that, uh, hike to the lighthouse today? 259 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,414 Yeah, yeah, you're right. 260 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,952 Uh, what should we wear on our feet? You know, for the hike? 261 00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:23,891 Maybe we should wear some sandals, I mean, that seems appropriate. 262 00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:29,429 But you know, why wear sandals, when you can just go barefoot? 263 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:41,909 Dany! I said barefoot, not Bigfoot! 264 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,014 - We got you. - Burn. 265 00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:49,382 Yeah, burn. 266 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,619 Bravo, excellent. 267 00:20:51,652 --> 00:20:55,522 See, the ladies used sarcasm as a way to get their footwear message across 268 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:59,093 while playfully poking fun at the boys. Great job, ladies. 269 00:20:59,126 --> 00:21:02,395 Boys, can you beat that? 270 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,032 - Do you think they're pissed? - I'm sure they can take a joke. 271 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,011 - Hey, Dany, how was your winter? - Sucked. 272 00:21:17,044 --> 00:21:20,480 My mom is back with Barry, and he's a fuckin' asshole and treats her like shit 273 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,949 but she deserves it. 274 00:21:21,983 --> 00:21:23,851 She made me clean my room the other day, 275 00:21:23,885 --> 00:21:25,753 and now I can't find any of my knives except for this one. 276 00:21:26,654 --> 00:21:28,723 And I know Barry sold them. 277 00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:31,424 Next day he's buying super big gulps instead of regular big gulps. 278 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,095 That assturd better watch his six. 279 00:21:34,128 --> 00:21:37,965 Yeah, you ever tried pastels? 280 00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:49,810 Everybody have their sunscreen on? 'Cause it's time for the pool. 281 00:21:49,844 --> 00:21:52,613 SPF30 or higher I hope? 282 00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:53,848 Alright, let's get wet. 283 00:22:00,821 --> 00:22:04,859 - Priscilla, what's wrong? - Nothing. 284 00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:09,596 Nothing? 285 00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:10,965 What do you mean nothing? 286 00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:13,000 Why can't you come to the pool with us? 287 00:22:13,034 --> 00:22:16,637 - I can't. - What do you mean, why not? 288 00:22:17,872 --> 00:22:20,675 It's my crotch. 289 00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,744 Your crotch? What's wrong with it? 290 00:22:23,778 --> 00:22:26,113 It's bleeding. 291 00:22:26,147 --> 00:22:33,553 You see, when a girl reaches a certain age, they get a special visitor every month. 292 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,790 Why does this have to happen to me? 293 00:22:35,823 --> 00:22:40,728 Well, you know at Halloween when you dress up like a cat or a princess? 294 00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:43,197 Yeah. 295 00:22:43,230 --> 00:22:48,869 Well, your period means that you get to dress up like a slutty cat, or a slutty princess. 296 00:22:48,903 --> 00:22:54,175 And this attracts the attention of boys, and makes you feel better about yourself. 297 00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:58,112 Wow. I already feel better about myself. 298 00:22:58,145 --> 00:23:00,748 And you know who'll definitely understand? 299 00:23:00,781 --> 00:23:02,883 My boyfriend Ben. 300 00:23:02,917 --> 00:23:06,187 He's so handsome and funny and smart. 301 00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,155 He won't care that I'm on my period. 302 00:23:08,189 --> 00:23:12,193 In fact, I call his penis Moses 'cause it can part the Red Sea. 303 00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:15,663 Enough! 304 00:23:15,696 --> 00:23:18,531 You, you, you, you, to my office right now! 305 00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,969 Good luck this summer. You're gonna need it. 306 00:23:22,003 --> 00:23:26,607 - But, the rest of the training? - What's the point? I tried. 307 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,043 I danced for you. 308 00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:31,779 But this place is on the scrap-heap. 309 00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:33,848 You just made my job a whole lot easier. 310 00:23:35,683 --> 00:23:37,251 What was that? 311 00:23:41,022 --> 00:23:42,990 So, what's up, you mad bro? 312 00:23:43,024 --> 00:23:48,195 No, I'm not mad, I'm pissed! 313 00:23:48,229 --> 00:23:50,765 This is awesome. You know, it's like he's the chief of police, 314 00:23:50,798 --> 00:23:52,599 and we're like, you know, the wild card cops that he's... 315 00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:54,902 - Shut it, Ben! - Okay, that's good, go with that. 316 00:23:57,872 --> 00:24:01,709 Maybe it's all my fault, maybe I let you guys get away with too much, 317 00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:06,213 when this was just a boys' camp, but things have got to change. 318 00:24:06,247 --> 00:24:12,620 I cannot stress how important it is for this co-ed thing to work, you got it? 319 00:24:12,653 --> 00:24:14,955 Well, truthfully, no, we don't got it. 320 00:24:14,989 --> 00:24:18,959 'Cause like, think about it, if we did get it, 321 00:24:18,993 --> 00:24:23,864 then we probably wouldn't have done that hateful sexist skit, right? 322 00:24:25,766 --> 00:24:30,671 Okay, Bo is pretty dumb, but his looks have helped him out a lot in life. 323 00:24:36,377 --> 00:24:39,346 Seriously, we hate having these chicks here, okay? 324 00:24:39,380 --> 00:24:42,683 We get our rocks off during the school year but summer is for us to come up here, 325 00:24:42,716 --> 00:24:48,322 and... and... and like walk around naked, listen to rap music. 326 00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:51,625 Word. 327 00:24:51,659 --> 00:24:54,195 Hip-Hop was always talking about an album he was producing, 328 00:24:54,228 --> 00:24:57,898 but the only thing he ever shared with us were mixtapes with original cover art. 329 00:24:57,932 --> 00:25:01,869 Look. I'll talk to the girls. 330 00:25:01,902 --> 00:25:04,271 I'll smooth things out with them. 331 00:25:04,305 --> 00:25:07,007 But the campers are here in a few days. 332 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:10,377 We've gotta make this work, right? Go team! 333 00:25:14,281 --> 00:25:16,884 Maybe we really should try to make this work. 334 00:25:16,917 --> 00:25:18,652 Roger seems pretty desperate. 335 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,224 Hey, I need you guys to take your shit out of the laundry room. 336 00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:26,360 I found some more pee-pee sleeping bags from last summer I gotta wash. 337 00:25:26,393 --> 00:25:29,296 Well, it ain't our shit, Mr. Coffee, try the chicks. 338 00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:32,833 Trust me. It's yours. 339 00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:42,910 Goddamn it! 340 00:25:49,116 --> 00:25:52,419 Hey. I don't remember doing this! 341 00:25:52,453 --> 00:25:54,021 This was my favorite turtle neck. 342 00:25:59,493 --> 00:26:03,664 No fabric softener. Fuckers. 343 00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:09,470 Okay, so what, you think some... some... some crotchless jeans are going to stop us? 344 00:26:09,503 --> 00:26:11,405 No, no, no, no, it's on! 345 00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:15,142 No, it was on when you decided to do a skit about our periods 346 00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:17,244 and my Halloween costuming choices. 347 00:26:17,278 --> 00:26:19,013 Well, actually, if you were paying attention, 348 00:26:19,046 --> 00:26:21,348 it wasn't necessarily your Halloween costuming, 349 00:26:21,382 --> 00:26:24,785 it was an imagined scenario, it was presented to Priscilla. 350 00:26:24,818 --> 00:26:27,421 Technically, we may have started it, I mean, our skit was first. 351 00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,824 Oh! No, no, no, no, no, sweetheart, we started it. 352 00:26:30,858 --> 00:26:33,794 Your skit was so lame and stupid it didn't offend, 353 00:26:33,827 --> 00:26:35,796 so it doesn't even count as starting it. 354 00:26:35,829 --> 00:26:38,465 Well, you may have started it, but we're going to finish this. 355 00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:42,403 How, by cutting more material away from our jeans? 356 00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:45,206 If you cut away any more, they become jean shorts, 357 00:26:45,239 --> 00:26:47,408 and then they become useful again. 358 00:26:49,076 --> 00:26:51,312 That is not how we're gonna end it. 359 00:26:51,345 --> 00:26:54,048 We're gonna end it tonight. See you guys have to fall asleep at some point, 360 00:26:54,081 --> 00:26:56,984 you guys can't stay up forever, and when you guys do fall asleep, 361 00:26:57,017 --> 00:27:01,455 I'm going to come into your cabin and bite your dicks off. 362 00:27:01,488 --> 00:27:04,525 I'm going to bite them off so hard and so fast, 363 00:27:04,558 --> 00:27:07,995 there won't be a split second when you guys feel some moist lips around your dick, 364 00:27:08,028 --> 00:27:09,897 and you think, "Hey, I'm getting a dream blowie, sweet." 365 00:27:09,930 --> 00:27:12,466 I'm going to skip right to the pain, right away. 366 00:27:12,499 --> 00:27:16,403 You guys will be dreaming, flying through the air, or... or swimming, and then bam! 367 00:27:16,437 --> 00:27:20,307 Shark bites off your dick, or maybe it's the flying one, and then bam! 368 00:27:20,341 --> 00:27:24,845 Helicopter blades, maybe you guys get too close and bam, chops off your dick. 369 00:27:24,878 --> 00:27:27,548 And you're gonna wake up, screaming in pain, 370 00:27:27,581 --> 00:27:30,384 and all you guys are gonna see in the glimmering moonlight 371 00:27:30,417 --> 00:27:36,123 is the ruby red glow of your dick juices coming out of the corners of my mouth! 372 00:27:42,463 --> 00:27:47,167 When the campers arrived, there was an understood truce, but it wouldn't last long. 373 00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:06,854 Hey, Zack, where's your bag, little dude? 374 00:28:07,554 --> 00:28:09,823 Bareback, I like it, brother. 375 00:28:13,294 --> 00:28:17,197 Hey, Zack, hope your redneck parents sent you up with enough tuck money this year. 376 00:28:20,034 --> 00:28:23,605 Hey, Zack, were Jason and Karl about to kiss? Yeah, I think that. 377 00:28:23,638 --> 00:28:26,373 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, they were about to kiss! 378 00:28:26,407 --> 00:28:29,843 - Let me go, Ben! - Or what, what? You're, you're gonna kiss Karl about it? 379 00:28:29,877 --> 00:28:32,579 No, I'll titty twist your ass off! 380 00:28:32,614 --> 00:28:37,518 Whoa, hold up. You'll titty twist my ass off? 381 00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:39,420 Shut up, you know what I meant. 382 00:28:39,453 --> 00:28:41,388 No, no, no, I'm gonna stand here and let you explain it to me. 383 00:28:41,422 --> 00:28:45,159 You're gonna "titty twist my ass off." Get outta here. 384 00:28:48,028 --> 00:28:50,931 Zack, you okay, buddy? Where's your bag, man? 385 00:28:56,236 --> 00:28:59,440 - Stacey, how was your winter? - It was really good. 386 00:28:59,473 --> 00:29:02,376 So I met this one guy at school, he's like superhot. 387 00:29:02,409 --> 00:29:05,579 - Oh, my God! Did you make out? - Kind of, but yeah. 388 00:29:05,613 --> 00:29:08,616 That's a sack, there's a sack, that's a sack, here's a sack. 389 00:29:19,526 --> 00:29:22,129 Hey, you need a hand with that? 390 00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:24,031 No thanks, I got it. 391 00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:25,499 It's no trouble, I can... 392 00:29:25,532 --> 00:29:28,001 Excuse me, mista, I want to do it on my own. 393 00:29:28,035 --> 00:29:29,503 I'm still growin', ya know. 394 00:29:32,172 --> 00:29:33,907 Wow, real mature, Dale. 395 00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,210 I... she wants to take it on her own. 396 00:29:36,243 --> 00:29:40,047 - Thanks, Amber, my back was getting sore. - I believe it. 397 00:29:52,694 --> 00:29:55,496 Alright, guys, hey, hey, listen up, hey! 398 00:29:55,529 --> 00:29:57,364 Follow us, okay? 399 00:29:57,398 --> 00:30:00,601 I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate that the girls are here, 400 00:30:00,635 --> 00:30:03,103 and we're going to destroy them this summer. 401 00:30:05,038 --> 00:30:06,540 Agreed. 402 00:30:06,573 --> 00:30:08,942 ♪ Umagada umagada choo choo choo! ♪ 403 00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,544 - But the scenery is nice, you know? - ♪ Umagada umagada ♪ 404 00:30:10,577 --> 00:30:12,279 ♪ Choo choo choo! ♪ 405 00:30:13,715 --> 00:30:15,282 Agreed, yeah. 406 00:30:39,239 --> 00:30:44,679 ♪ Give me a home Where the buffalo roam ♪ 407 00:30:44,712 --> 00:30:49,316 - Would you do him? - Tiffany! Would I do him? 408 00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:52,386 Okay, fine, would you third-base him? 409 00:30:52,419 --> 00:30:54,188 - Yes. - Me too. 410 00:30:54,221 --> 00:30:59,761 ♪ Seldom is heard A discouraging word ♪ 411 00:30:59,794 --> 00:31:04,465 ♪ And the skies are Not cloudy all day ♪ 412 00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:13,775 Welcome campers to the opening campfire of 1990 here at Camp Kindlewood! 413 00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:26,353 Now, as most of you already know by now, the camp is now co-ed, which is a great thing! 414 00:31:29,691 --> 00:31:33,026 Obviously, there's going to be some programming issues that we have to work through, 415 00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:37,498 but myself, the staff and your counselors are totally committed 416 00:31:37,531 --> 00:31:42,302 to giving you a memorable and safe summer. 417 00:31:44,171 --> 00:31:47,809 This... Jason, it, it's not a question and answer period. Do you have to pee? 418 00:31:47,842 --> 00:31:51,411 Uh no, are we still going to be doing Lumbermen versus Voyageurs? 419 00:31:51,445 --> 00:31:54,348 Oh, yes, absolutely, of course, we are, Jason! 420 00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:57,785 Tomorrow after breakfast, we'll have the traditional picking of the sides! 421 00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:02,189 I got an idea. 422 00:32:03,658 --> 00:32:05,325 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 423 00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,295 I doubt it. I'm just... I'm kinda high right now. 424 00:32:08,328 --> 00:32:10,063 So just feels good all over, you know? 425 00:32:16,169 --> 00:32:18,640 - See? - See what? 426 00:32:18,673 --> 00:32:19,841 It's a vagina! 427 00:32:19,874 --> 00:32:22,644 No, it's your hands. 428 00:32:22,677 --> 00:32:26,046 No, you idiot, it's a vagina! 429 00:32:26,814 --> 00:32:29,149 Okay, everyone, brush your teeth and shit. 430 00:32:32,787 --> 00:32:34,756 Okay, so the shrooms have worn off, what's this plan? 431 00:32:34,789 --> 00:32:36,691 Right. For the team picking thing tomorrow, 432 00:32:36,724 --> 00:32:39,359 you know, when they divide up Lumbermen and Voyageurs. 433 00:32:39,393 --> 00:32:42,329 We gotta make it so all the boys camps are Lumbermen, and all the girls' camps are Voyageurs. 434 00:32:42,362 --> 00:32:44,364 Sworn. Accelerate the conflict. I like it. 435 00:32:44,398 --> 00:32:46,199 But how are we gonna swing that? 436 00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:48,201 - Who picks the names from the hat? - Mr. Coffee? 437 00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:51,138 Mr. Coffee. And what does Mr. Coffee like? 438 00:32:51,171 --> 00:32:54,207 - Murder? - No. What else? 439 00:32:55,208 --> 00:32:57,444 - Booze. - Yes. 440 00:32:57,477 --> 00:33:00,213 Amber, could you help me? I need two lines. 441 00:33:00,247 --> 00:33:02,416 This line, night-time medications. 442 00:33:02,449 --> 00:33:05,753 And this line, "My head hurts", "My throat hurts", "Oh, my God! 443 00:33:05,787 --> 00:33:09,122 I've got poison ivy," "Hey, is that crotch rash." 444 00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:12,593 Alright kids, you heard Mr. Coffee, two lines. Come on. 445 00:33:15,162 --> 00:33:17,130 So, what do you think the boys have planned for us today? 446 00:33:17,164 --> 00:33:19,333 I don't know, Tiff, maybe if we just don't push it... 447 00:33:19,366 --> 00:33:22,502 Amber, if we wait on it, our guard will be down, and that's when they get us. 448 00:33:23,705 --> 00:33:27,207 I get it, we go all passive-aggressive. 449 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:31,679 You know like what if we go on a sex strike? 450 00:33:33,447 --> 00:33:36,116 You haven't slept with any of them, have you? 451 00:33:37,719 --> 00:33:40,888 Okay, sex strike might be a little hard to pull off. 452 00:33:40,922 --> 00:33:44,224 One for you, one for me. 453 00:33:54,434 --> 00:33:56,871 I am a ghost! 454 00:33:58,372 --> 00:34:05,278 I was once a living person, but then I died, so now I'm a ghost! 455 00:34:05,312 --> 00:34:07,581 Little redundant, all that was implied. 456 00:34:08,950 --> 00:34:11,251 - Bahhhh. - Boogadee Boo! 457 00:34:11,284 --> 00:34:14,388 Oh, fuck a cock! Jesus, Coffee. 458 00:34:14,421 --> 00:34:18,191 You know, it's not nice to scare people, in real life. 459 00:34:18,225 --> 00:34:20,862 Okay, look, we need a favor from you, okay? 460 00:34:22,562 --> 00:34:24,699 Well, the price is right. 461 00:34:24,732 --> 00:34:26,199 What do you need? 462 00:34:26,233 --> 00:34:27,869 Well, look, we'll take care of the how, 463 00:34:27,902 --> 00:34:31,873 but tomorrow, we need you to go and rig the cabin selections 464 00:34:31,906 --> 00:34:33,608 for Lumbermen and Voyageurs, okay? 465 00:34:34,809 --> 00:34:36,978 - Why? - 'Cause we're going to make it Boys vs. Girls 466 00:34:37,011 --> 00:34:38,946 and take those hussies head on! 467 00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:41,883 Seems a little complex, just to humiliate someone. 468 00:34:41,916 --> 00:34:43,550 Oh, yeah, how would you do it? 469 00:34:45,285 --> 00:34:49,724 Well, since you're asking I... I guess I would ask them to meet me up someplace high, 470 00:34:49,757 --> 00:34:52,459 you know, like one of those parking garage-type things. 471 00:34:52,492 --> 00:34:56,764 And I'd kinda, you know, as I'm talking to them, move 'em closer to the edge, 472 00:34:56,798 --> 00:34:58,498 and make sure I have solid footing. 473 00:34:58,532 --> 00:35:00,702 Then I'd kinda push 'em off the roof. 474 00:35:00,735 --> 00:35:03,604 Then they'd, uh, you know, fall to their deaths. 475 00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:07,008 And then I'd go around screaming "They jumped, they jumped, I had nothing to do with it, 476 00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:09,576 it was one of those kind of suicide-type things!" 477 00:35:11,578 --> 00:35:15,282 Coffee, you shouldn't be allowed to work near children, you know that? 478 00:35:15,315 --> 00:35:16,617 Or people. 479 00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,552 I'm not. That's why I'm at the camp. 480 00:35:22,623 --> 00:35:24,792 No, it's eight crackers in one minute. 481 00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:27,995 No, I'm telling you, I got this cousin in Salt Lake that says 482 00:35:28,029 --> 00:35:29,997 it's one cracker in eight minutes. 483 00:35:30,031 --> 00:35:32,633 No! You're so stupid! 484 00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:36,838 That doesn't even make any sense, you can easily eat one cracker in eight minutes! 485 00:35:36,871 --> 00:35:41,042 That's why it's hard, you have to really take your time, savor it... 486 00:35:41,075 --> 00:35:45,378 Give it. Time, go. 487 00:35:45,412 --> 00:35:46,981 My Swatch only shows hours. 488 00:35:48,082 --> 00:35:51,719 So, you see the fork? It needs to go on the left, okay? 489 00:35:51,753 --> 00:35:53,688 No, I said it goes on the left! 490 00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:58,492 - Hey, Donna. - Hi. 491 00:35:58,525 --> 00:36:00,628 Sorry. I... I just... 492 00:36:00,661 --> 00:36:03,898 You know, I could help teach your kids how to set the table properly, 493 00:36:03,931 --> 00:36:05,532 with a little freestyle of course. 494 00:36:05,565 --> 00:36:08,870 You know, something to help them remember. 495 00:36:09,971 --> 00:36:12,372 - Yeah, sure, that would be great. - Yeah? 496 00:36:12,405 --> 00:36:14,642 A'ight, cool. Here we go. 497 00:36:14,675 --> 00:36:17,344 Mm, yeah. 498 00:36:17,377 --> 00:36:21,048 ♪ It's like, when you Put down the plate It's the first thing you do ♪ 499 00:36:21,082 --> 00:36:27,487 ♪ Place it the middle It's what you do, uh ♪ 500 00:36:27,521 --> 00:36:30,057 ♪ Now, pick up a knife, yeah ♪ 501 00:36:30,091 --> 00:36:32,760 ♪ Be careful it's sharp ♪ 502 00:36:32,794 --> 00:36:37,564 ♪ You don't want to cut your pretty little fingers off Now do ya? ♪ 503 00:36:37,597 --> 00:36:40,668 ♪ Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya? ♪ 504 00:36:40,701 --> 00:36:42,970 ♪ Of course, you don't What? ♪ 505 00:36:43,004 --> 00:36:45,472 ♪ Best be moving on To the spoon ♪ 506 00:36:45,505 --> 00:36:47,775 ♪ It should be opposite Of the fork... ♪ 507 00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:28,950 Hey, you got a sec? 508 00:37:31,819 --> 00:37:32,920 Freeze! 509 00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:43,097 What are they doing? 510 00:37:43,130 --> 00:37:46,167 - Girls' camp doesn't play freeze? - No. 511 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,837 Hell, you just yell "freeze" at some point during the meal, the kids all freeze, 512 00:37:49,871 --> 00:37:53,040 and the first one to move has to clear all the dishes. 513 00:37:54,474 --> 00:37:55,408 Neat. 514 00:37:56,443 --> 00:37:58,779 So, what's up? 515 00:37:58,813 --> 00:38:04,018 Right. Well, I do take it that guys' camp did do program announcements, right? 516 00:38:04,051 --> 00:38:05,720 Yeah. 517 00:38:05,753 --> 00:38:07,520 Well, we have a big one to announce this morning, 518 00:38:07,554 --> 00:38:11,993 with Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs starting, and uh... 519 00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:14,729 Okay. So, do you have something planned or? 520 00:38:16,197 --> 00:38:18,199 Yeah, yeah, um. 521 00:38:18,232 --> 00:38:21,168 You know, a few of us girls, we came up with a skit last night. 522 00:38:22,637 --> 00:38:26,207 Actually, it was more like a rework of, you know, something we did last summer. 523 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:30,543 But we weren't sure if, if we should just go ahead and do it 524 00:38:30,577 --> 00:38:31,846 or if you guys wanted to participate? 525 00:38:31,879 --> 00:38:33,180 Now, Yoshi, don't laugh. 526 00:38:34,514 --> 00:38:36,984 Jason, don't fall in love, alright, it's just a game there, pal. 527 00:38:37,018 --> 00:38:38,886 No, that sounds great. 528 00:38:39,954 --> 00:38:41,889 I guess we'll just leave this one up to you guys... girls. 529 00:38:42,924 --> 00:38:45,492 Great, cool, thanks. 530 00:38:45,525 --> 00:38:48,029 Your breath smells like farts! 531 00:38:48,062 --> 00:38:49,664 It's horrible. 532 00:38:49,697 --> 00:38:52,099 How bad does it smell? Like farts, eh? 533 00:38:52,133 --> 00:38:55,002 Why don't you tell me about it while you're doing dishes duty? 534 00:38:55,036 --> 00:38:57,738 Yeah, you didn't think about it, did you? 535 00:38:57,772 --> 00:38:59,840 - So? What did they say? - He said we could do it. 536 00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:03,177 - Yes! I knew it. - Attack them with our sexuality. 537 00:39:03,210 --> 00:39:04,679 Sexual assault! 538 00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:08,448 Yeah, but different, you know. 539 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,690 When the hand goes up? 540 00:39:15,723 --> 00:39:17,725 The mouth goes shut! 541 00:39:17,758 --> 00:39:19,226 Shut your holes! 542 00:39:19,260 --> 00:39:21,696 - Thank you, Ben. - Shut your holes. 543 00:39:21,729 --> 00:39:23,064 Ben, the holes are shut. 544 00:39:25,733 --> 00:39:30,738 Okay, so, we have a special announcement. 545 00:40:08,209 --> 00:40:12,146 May, maybe, maybe we shouldn't be making enemies out of boobs, you know? 546 00:40:12,179 --> 00:40:16,817 It's Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs! 547 00:40:22,356 --> 00:40:26,593 Okay! For those of you who have been here before, you know what this means. 548 00:40:26,627 --> 00:40:29,596 For those of you who are new, let me explain. 549 00:40:29,630 --> 00:40:32,199 Yeah, so I guess that program announcement didn't explain much. 550 00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:34,668 It was just sexual energy. 551 00:40:34,702 --> 00:40:37,104 ...the Voyageurs and the Lumbermen. 552 00:40:37,138 --> 00:40:42,176 These teams are going to compete non-stop, around the clock, 553 00:40:42,209 --> 00:40:47,214 in various competitive activities in order to accumulate points 554 00:40:47,248 --> 00:40:52,153 so that they can win The Golden Axe-Paddle! 555 00:40:52,186 --> 00:40:54,288 - Looks like an axe. - And a paddle. 556 00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:56,924 - Paddle. - It's an axe-paddle. 557 00:40:56,957 --> 00:41:00,694 Before we get ahead of ourselves, we have to make the selection 558 00:41:00,728 --> 00:41:06,100 to see which cabins will be the Voyageurs and which cabins will be the Lumbermen. 559 00:41:06,133 --> 00:41:08,969 Lumbermen has won the past four years, boys. 560 00:41:09,003 --> 00:41:11,571 - Okay? - Let the selection begin! 561 00:41:14,008 --> 00:41:15,242 Alright. 562 00:41:15,276 --> 00:41:18,979 Who is first for the Voyageurs? 563 00:41:24,919 --> 00:41:27,321 Senior Girls 2. 564 00:41:31,959 --> 00:41:35,096 Alright, and now who is going to kick off for the Lumbermen? 565 00:41:37,298 --> 00:41:39,900 Junior Boys 1. 566 00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:46,240 And back to the Voyageurs. 567 00:41:46,273 --> 00:41:47,708 It's working. 568 00:41:51,979 --> 00:41:55,716 Intermediate Girls 3. 569 00:41:57,118 --> 00:41:58,953 Lumbermen! 570 00:42:12,032 --> 00:42:13,200 It's the same. 571 00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:20,274 But the opposite, which would make it... Intermediate Boys... 572 00:42:20,307 --> 00:42:23,244 Intermediate Boys 3! 573 00:42:26,747 --> 00:42:30,284 Coffee is way too liquored up to pull this off. We're gonna get busted. 574 00:42:31,318 --> 00:42:32,987 He's got it, he's got it. 575 00:42:36,457 --> 00:42:39,059 Alright, next for the Voyageurs. 576 00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:43,330 Junior Girls 2. 577 00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:46,700 - Lumbermen? - Senior Boys 2. 578 00:42:46,734 --> 00:42:51,005 Senior Boys 2, they beat me up last summer, Senior Boys 2. 579 00:42:53,073 --> 00:42:54,341 Junior Girls 1. 580 00:42:57,811 --> 00:42:59,780 Intermediate Boys 2. 581 00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:05,319 Senior Girls 1. Intermediate Boys 1. 582 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,222 Intermediate Girls 1. 583 00:43:09,490 --> 00:43:11,325 Junior Boys 2. 584 00:43:17,064 --> 00:43:20,000 Oh. Intermediate Girls 2. 585 00:43:20,034 --> 00:43:25,339 Thank you, well, there you go! Totally impartial selection! 586 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:32,112 If the teams could please appoint a team captain to come up here for the swearing-in. 587 00:43:41,155 --> 00:43:42,790 I swear. 588 00:43:42,823 --> 00:43:44,325 I swear. 589 00:43:44,358 --> 00:43:49,296 To compete with honor, integrity, and spirit. 590 00:43:49,330 --> 00:43:53,500 To compete with honor, integrity, and spirit. 591 00:43:57,137 --> 00:44:00,441 I know what you did here and you will rue the day. 592 00:44:00,474 --> 00:44:03,277 I've always wanted to hear someone say "rue the day" in real life. 593 00:44:03,310 --> 00:44:06,113 So I will now thus rue the day. 594 00:44:12,586 --> 00:44:16,056 Our plan had worked. We made it boys versus girls. 595 00:44:16,090 --> 00:44:19,893 This was our chance to show the ladies who's boss and take back our camp. 596 00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:27,134 We knew the boys rigged the competition, and we were determined to take them down. 597 00:44:27,167 --> 00:44:29,203 This is no good, we might actually hurt them. 598 00:44:30,938 --> 00:44:34,074 - British! - Bulldog! 599 00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:43,217 Argh! Come on, you guys! What was that? 600 00:44:43,250 --> 00:44:45,419 They have girl parts! Where do we grab on to? 601 00:44:45,452 --> 00:44:47,988 The gender-neutral parts. 602 00:44:48,022 --> 00:44:49,189 British! 603 00:44:59,566 --> 00:45:03,404 Okay, you got four Voyageurs. Switch up, Lumbermen run! 604 00:45:03,437 --> 00:45:04,972 British! 605 00:45:05,005 --> 00:45:07,341 Bulldog! 606 00:45:11,979 --> 00:45:15,449 - British! - Bulldog! 607 00:45:18,519 --> 00:45:22,356 - Aw! - Oh! Yeah. 608 00:45:22,389 --> 00:45:24,058 You work out, right? 609 00:45:25,592 --> 00:45:27,528 Okay, you captured 22 Lumbermen. 610 00:45:27,561 --> 00:45:29,530 Voyageurs win this round! 611 00:45:34,669 --> 00:45:38,105 Yeah! Go! Come on! 612 00:45:48,515 --> 00:45:50,384 - Yay! - Woo-hoo! 613 00:46:04,498 --> 00:46:06,634 Oh, my God! Reeks of urine. 614 00:46:06,668 --> 00:46:10,070 Yes! It worked, it worked! 615 00:46:10,104 --> 00:46:11,939 We were trying to mask the smell of poop! 616 00:46:11,972 --> 00:46:14,541 - Oh, well, congratulations. - Yes! 617 00:46:17,244 --> 00:46:21,949 A mid-summer dance probably seemed like a good idea, on paper. 618 00:46:37,564 --> 00:46:40,668 This is so lame. 619 00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:42,536 Okay, someone's gotta do something. 620 00:46:42,569 --> 00:46:46,540 I mean, I get the feud, but the kids aren't having any fun. 621 00:46:57,685 --> 00:46:59,621 - Hey. - Okay, come on, we gotta do something. 622 00:46:59,654 --> 00:47:01,255 - Come on. - What up? 623 00:48:16,163 --> 00:48:18,365 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 624 00:48:19,701 --> 00:48:23,103 Two cupcakes, both for you fatty? 625 00:48:23,136 --> 00:48:27,140 No, no. I was... I was... I was thinking of sharing. 626 00:48:27,174 --> 00:48:30,277 - With me? - Yeah, sure. 627 00:48:31,813 --> 00:48:35,349 I, uh, I thought we were enemies. 628 00:48:35,382 --> 00:48:37,551 Yeah, yeah, we are. 629 00:48:37,584 --> 00:48:42,289 But even enemies have to share yummy delicious cupcakes from time to time. 630 00:48:42,322 --> 00:48:44,258 - They do? - Yeah. 631 00:48:44,291 --> 00:48:46,761 - You haven't seen Star Wars? - I've seen Star Wars. 632 00:48:46,794 --> 00:48:52,099 Okay, so just before Greedo shoots Han, you didn't notice the cupcakes they were enjoying? 633 00:48:52,132 --> 00:48:53,701 Before Greedo shoots Han? 634 00:48:53,735 --> 00:48:55,502 You mean, before Han shoots Greedo! 635 00:48:55,536 --> 00:48:58,372 What are you talking about? Han would never do that. 636 00:48:58,405 --> 00:49:03,377 Oh, God! I think he wants to kiss me. Where was this confidence eight months ago? 637 00:49:03,410 --> 00:49:06,113 She kinda smells like garbage, 638 00:49:06,146 --> 00:49:09,416 but that could just be because we're near the dumpster and she was carrying garbage. 639 00:49:09,449 --> 00:49:11,619 Han is a cold-blooded killer. 640 00:49:11,653 --> 00:49:14,756 You know instead of facing Jabba himself and taking responsibility... 641 00:49:14,789 --> 00:49:18,392 Wait, am I feeling attracted to her or to the smell of garbage? 642 00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:20,862 I can't let him kiss me. The girls will hate me. 643 00:49:20,895 --> 00:49:23,463 You see that just furthers my point, 644 00:49:23,497 --> 00:49:25,499 you're too busy moralizing to notice the cupcakes that two enemies were enjoying. 645 00:49:25,532 --> 00:49:28,636 But he's finally behaving and acting cute. 646 00:49:28,670 --> 00:49:31,271 Maybe our union could bring the camp together? 647 00:49:31,305 --> 00:49:33,574 Am I going to end up being one of those case studies on Donahue, 648 00:49:33,608 --> 00:49:35,475 "The guy who humps dumpsters?" 649 00:49:35,509 --> 00:49:39,112 There is no way that they were serving cupcakes at the cantina. 650 00:49:39,146 --> 00:49:41,548 Maybe some sense memory would help you... 651 00:49:48,188 --> 00:49:50,625 Just say you love noogies, and I'll let go! 652 00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,259 Let go first! 653 00:49:52,292 --> 00:49:56,396 Ha, ha, ha! I hate noogies! 654 00:49:56,430 --> 00:49:57,732 - Dale? - Yeah? 655 00:49:57,765 --> 00:49:59,466 - Dale! - Yes! 656 00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:00,768 Were you just making out with this hussy? 657 00:50:00,802 --> 00:50:02,169 - Excuse me? - No. 658 00:50:02,202 --> 00:50:03,236 - No? - Amber? 659 00:50:03,270 --> 00:50:04,806 You two were mouth fucking. 660 00:50:04,839 --> 00:50:07,140 Mouth fucking? No one says that, man. 661 00:50:07,174 --> 00:50:08,643 We weren't. 662 00:50:08,676 --> 00:50:10,277 Then why do you have icing on your boob parts then? 663 00:50:10,310 --> 00:50:12,479 They're called pecks on guys, alright? 664 00:50:12,512 --> 00:50:15,182 - They're called pecks on her, too. - Watch it. 665 00:50:15,215 --> 00:50:17,584 Yeah, what's with the peck icing? 666 00:50:17,619 --> 00:50:20,822 This? You caught us in the middle of a food fight. 667 00:50:20,855 --> 00:50:24,324 Yes, it was a hateful, sexist food fight. 668 00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:27,160 Yeah, and I'm pissed at him right now, and you're interrupting. 669 00:50:27,194 --> 00:50:29,363 Mm-hmm. I was waiting until now, when she was wearing her favorite dress. 670 00:50:29,396 --> 00:50:31,899 - Fucker! - Fight! Fight! Fight! 671 00:50:31,933 --> 00:50:35,535 - Really, this is how we're playing it? - Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 672 00:50:35,569 --> 00:50:37,504 Fight! Fight! Fight! 673 00:50:41,709 --> 00:50:45,445 Okay, well, this camp is going all girls, all summer. 674 00:50:45,479 --> 00:50:47,180 Roger sees how toxic you guys are. 675 00:50:47,214 --> 00:50:48,850 Us? Toxic? 676 00:50:48,883 --> 00:50:51,351 You're the ones stinking up the garbage with your maxipads. 677 00:50:53,253 --> 00:50:54,856 No, no, whoa... no. 678 00:50:54,889 --> 00:50:56,958 Two men enter, one man leaves. Come on, you know these things. 679 00:50:56,991 --> 00:50:58,693 You want our maxipads gone? 680 00:50:58,726 --> 00:51:00,962 By the way, Dany is the only one who uses maxipads, so... 681 00:51:00,995 --> 00:51:03,731 Yes, we want you gone! There's no way it's just Dany. 682 00:51:03,765 --> 00:51:07,367 I've seen way too many maxipads in the garbage for it just to be coming from one girl. 683 00:51:07,401 --> 00:51:09,637 Some of us have heavy flows! 684 00:51:09,671 --> 00:51:12,305 - Well, we want you gone! - Well, let's lay down the stakes then. 685 00:51:12,339 --> 00:51:14,609 You want to play for keeps? 686 00:51:14,642 --> 00:51:19,614 Okay. Whoever loses Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs, can't apply for a job next summer. 687 00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:22,382 No male counselors, no boys' camp. 688 00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:26,621 - All girls, all summer. - Okay! 689 00:51:26,654 --> 00:51:29,624 But if boys win Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs, 690 00:51:29,657 --> 00:51:35,395 then girls can't apply for jobs here, and it goes back to a... boys' camp. 691 00:51:35,429 --> 00:51:37,597 Yes, Ben, that was implied. 692 00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:39,332 Look, I'm just trying to make the stakes clear. 693 00:51:50,544 --> 00:51:52,579 Okay, they're all in, let's go. 694 00:52:30,584 --> 00:52:33,788 Okay, looks like a hundred spirit points for Lumbermen. 695 00:53:19,399 --> 00:53:22,569 Well, looks like a hundred and fifty spirit points for Voyageurs. 696 00:53:22,602 --> 00:53:24,605 Woo! 697 00:53:25,572 --> 00:53:28,676 Go! Like the hustle, I like the hustle. 698 00:53:30,678 --> 00:53:32,680 Hey, little girl? How you doing? 699 00:53:32,713 --> 00:53:34,715 Yeah, this is fun, huh? Relay race camp. 700 00:53:34,749 --> 00:53:36,617 I love it. 701 00:53:36,651 --> 00:53:39,086 Just, it's kinda hard being away from home this long, you know? 702 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:43,825 I mean, I don't think I've ever been away from my mom this long, have you? 703 00:53:43,858 --> 00:53:45,960 Yeah, sometimes I just sit in bed at night, 704 00:53:45,993 --> 00:53:50,898 thinking about how much I miss my mommy hugging me, singing to me. 705 00:53:50,932 --> 00:53:55,435 ♪ Hush, little baby Don't say a word ♪ 706 00:53:55,468 --> 00:53:57,437 Comforting a child, keep it moving. 707 00:53:57,470 --> 00:53:59,640 There's more important things in life, okay? Keep going. 708 00:53:59,674 --> 00:54:04,078 ♪ Momma's gonna buy you A mockingbird ♪ 709 00:54:18,458 --> 00:54:19,660 Yard sale! 710 00:54:29,502 --> 00:54:32,006 We were so caught up in beating each other, 711 00:54:32,039 --> 00:54:36,077 we didn't even see we were destroying the one thing we both loved... the camp. 712 00:54:38,179 --> 00:54:42,415 You two have no idea what you have just done. No idea! 713 00:54:42,449 --> 00:54:43,818 Roger. 714 00:54:43,851 --> 00:54:47,054 Shut up, no one wants to hear you talk, shut it. 715 00:54:48,656 --> 00:54:52,860 Do you have any idea, the position you've put this camp in? Hmm? 716 00:54:52,894 --> 00:54:54,461 I'm asking you a question. 717 00:54:54,494 --> 00:54:55,796 You just told me to shut up. 718 00:54:55,830 --> 00:54:58,132 Shut up! It was rhetorical. Shut it! 719 00:55:00,868 --> 00:55:04,605 Did you think that I, last summer just, on my own, out of nowhere, 720 00:55:04,639 --> 00:55:05,907 decided to make the camp co-ed? 721 00:55:05,940 --> 00:55:07,008 Kinda. 722 00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:08,809 I thought I said to shut it. 723 00:55:08,843 --> 00:55:12,479 You told Dale to shut it, this is my first shut it. 724 00:55:13,814 --> 00:55:15,950 Fine. But shut it from now on. 725 00:55:15,983 --> 00:55:17,584 Do you know why we're co-ed? 726 00:55:18,619 --> 00:55:21,588 Huh? Funny guy? I'm asking you a question. 727 00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:23,157 Is it a rhetorical question? 728 00:55:23,190 --> 00:55:26,994 Oh, answering a question with a question. 729 00:55:27,028 --> 00:55:29,030 Very smart funny guy. 730 00:55:29,063 --> 00:55:31,132 No, it wasn't rhetorical. 731 00:55:31,165 --> 00:55:33,000 - Okay then, my guess... - Shut up! No one wants to hear you talk! 732 00:55:33,034 --> 00:55:35,468 Sorry, you're just being a bit unclear. 733 00:55:35,502 --> 00:55:38,606 Oh. Well, pardon my French. 734 00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:40,207 How's this for unclear? 735 00:55:49,884 --> 00:55:51,252 Yeah. That's great for unclear. 736 00:55:51,285 --> 00:55:52,920 Oh, you want me to spell it out for you? 737 00:55:52,954 --> 00:55:54,255 - Yes! - Yes! 738 00:55:54,288 --> 00:55:56,223 Camps are closing at a record rate. 739 00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:02,763 Corporate has tightened up budgets across the board. 740 00:56:10,871 --> 00:56:13,540 Parents are demanding heightened safety standards, 741 00:56:13,573 --> 00:56:16,143 so more money is being pooled into safety equipment. 742 00:56:18,846 --> 00:56:23,516 Going co-ed all summer long was the only way to keep this camp economically viable 743 00:56:23,550 --> 00:56:26,153 and prevent corporate from shutting us down. 744 00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:33,995 That's why making this summer work was so important. 745 00:56:36,263 --> 00:56:42,069 Look, first of, I... I really don't think the outside world works the way you described it. 746 00:56:42,103 --> 00:56:45,139 Yeah, you make it sound like a Looney Tunes cartoon. 747 00:56:45,172 --> 00:56:49,744 Like corporate bureaucrats in suits bullying kids? 748 00:56:49,777 --> 00:56:52,646 Yeah, I... I... I really think your world view is a bit off. 749 00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,649 Wait, how did you get visuals of what was in my mind's eye? 750 00:56:55,683 --> 00:56:59,253 And second, I wish you would have just leveled with us from the beginning. 751 00:56:59,286 --> 00:57:03,190 Just tell us that the camp was going to close unless we made co-ed work. 752 00:57:03,224 --> 00:57:07,328 Yeah, if we knew it was that dire we would have figured it out. 753 00:57:07,361 --> 00:57:09,764 You really just need to be more clear next time. 754 00:57:09,797 --> 00:57:12,033 Well, but there isn't going to be a next time. 755 00:57:13,334 --> 00:57:14,835 It's all too late anyway. 756 00:57:14,869 --> 00:57:16,237 Well, what do you mean? 757 00:57:17,905 --> 00:57:22,143 Corporate is sending an advisory board tomorrow to check out our economic viability. 758 00:57:22,176 --> 00:57:27,915 Once they see this mess and the volatile atmosphere, they'll close us down for sure. 759 00:57:34,955 --> 00:57:36,757 Come here, come here! 760 00:57:36,791 --> 00:57:39,226 Come here, come here, come here! 761 00:57:39,260 --> 00:57:44,999 I accidentally overheard while I was peeping and I think I know how to save the camp. 762 00:57:46,367 --> 00:57:47,635 Follow me. 763 00:57:51,305 --> 00:57:55,743 Ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall, 764 00:57:55,776 --> 00:57:57,678 ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall. 765 00:57:58,846 --> 00:58:00,681 Ninety-nine bottle of beer on the wall! 766 00:58:02,049 --> 00:58:08,255 When my dad passed away, he gave me this job, and a small inheritance. 767 00:58:08,289 --> 00:58:10,958 That was almost fifty years ago. 768 00:58:12,293 --> 00:58:18,598 The job, the camp, the people... are my home, 769 00:58:19,767 --> 00:58:21,335 my family. 770 00:58:25,005 --> 00:58:27,108 Economically viable? 771 00:58:27,141 --> 00:58:32,213 If keeping this camp open is about money, I think I can help. 772 00:58:41,822 --> 00:58:48,395 Five thousand dollars. The camp, our home, is saved. 773 00:58:48,429 --> 00:58:53,400 Yeah but your... that's your... that's your inheritance? 774 00:58:53,434 --> 00:58:59,073 Yes, it was my dad's life savings, but I want you to use it to save the camp. 775 00:58:59,106 --> 00:59:02,209 But you... you had it buried underground the whole time? 776 00:59:03,310 --> 00:59:05,179 I think you're missing the point here. 777 00:59:05,212 --> 00:59:08,349 This five thousand dollars was from the 1940s. 778 00:59:08,382 --> 00:59:10,084 Almost fifty years ago. 779 00:59:10,117 --> 00:59:12,086 With inflation, and interest, 780 00:59:12,119 --> 00:59:15,156 you're looking at over a hundred thousand dollars. At least. 781 00:59:15,189 --> 00:59:19,927 No, we're looking at five thousand dollars. 782 00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,062 Now I think you're both missing the point. 783 00:59:22,096 --> 00:59:26,400 1940s money, inflation, interest. 784 00:59:26,433 --> 00:59:29,203 Ka-ching, camp saved, hero! 785 00:59:31,005 --> 00:59:36,110 Um, I think if we try to explain this to him, we're just gonna get stuck in a time loop. 786 00:59:36,143 --> 00:59:38,179 Agreed. 787 00:59:38,212 --> 00:59:40,714 What... what if we just take the money, tell him he saved the camp, 788 00:59:40,748 --> 00:59:44,785 and then use that money to spruce up the place, and save the camp. 789 00:59:44,818 --> 00:59:47,888 You heard Roger, corporate is coming tomorrow. 790 00:59:47,922 --> 00:59:49,890 That's why we're gonna need everyone's help. 791 00:59:51,358 --> 00:59:53,994 Thanks! Woo-hoo! You saved the camp! 792 00:59:54,028 --> 00:59:56,931 - Did you just call me a hero? - Sure. 793 01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:05,806 Alright, I'm going to break it down, nice and simple. 794 01:00:06,774 --> 01:00:10,277 Corporate is coming to the site tomorrow and they're gonna close the camp. 795 01:00:10,311 --> 01:00:12,279 - What? What do you mean shut it down? - What? Are you serious? 796 01:00:12,313 --> 01:00:14,415 - Listen. Listen. Please. - Unless! Guys, 797 01:00:14,448 --> 01:00:19,820 unless we work together for the next twenty-four hours and fix the camp. 798 01:00:19,853 --> 01:00:23,190 Fix the camp? How can we fix it? What do you mean fix the camp? 799 01:00:25,192 --> 01:00:29,263 Okay, um, hold on a second, guys. Look. 800 01:00:29,296 --> 01:00:33,234 Ben... here, try to break this stick, okay? 801 01:00:33,267 --> 01:00:36,537 - Serious? - It's easy, right? 802 01:00:36,570 --> 01:00:39,039 Good. Um, now look... 803 01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:43,978 Now go ahead and try to... try to break this bundle. 804 01:00:47,081 --> 01:00:49,817 Haha, okay, just... no, let's hold on a second, alright? 805 01:01:00,995 --> 01:01:04,965 - Fuck. - Whoa, hold on guys, please. Okay. 806 01:01:04,999 --> 01:01:06,834 Okay. 807 01:01:06,867 --> 01:01:10,971 - Break this, let's give it a try. - Woo! 808 01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:14,241 Goddamnit, Ben! Jesus Christ. 809 01:01:14,275 --> 01:01:17,044 Wait, wait, wait, hold up. I think I get it. 810 01:01:17,077 --> 01:01:22,449 Wait, you're saying, on our own, we can easily snap a twig in half. 811 01:01:22,483 --> 01:01:25,219 But if we work together, we, we can snap a bunch! 812 01:01:25,252 --> 01:01:27,488 - A lot of sticks, bro! - Yeah. 813 01:01:29,056 --> 01:01:34,428 It's like, we've had the power inside us the entire time, to break a shit load of sticks, 814 01:01:34,461 --> 01:01:36,430 - more than we ever thought possible! - Yes. 815 01:01:36,463 --> 01:01:39,366 No. I mean, yeah, but... 816 01:01:43,605 --> 01:01:47,341 Totally. Like with our friends, and maybe, maybe some kicking... 817 01:01:47,374 --> 01:01:50,344 - Yeah. - We can do so much more. 818 01:01:50,377 --> 01:01:52,112 A lot of sticks, dude! 819 01:01:52,146 --> 01:01:55,015 No, I mean, that's... that's not... 820 01:01:57,017 --> 01:02:00,387 Wait sorry, are you guys... what, is this... are you guys motivated by this? 821 01:02:00,421 --> 01:02:01,555 Fuck, yeah! 822 01:02:03,891 --> 01:02:06,360 - Alright. Yeah, okay, good. - I guess we'll go with that! 823 01:02:06,393 --> 01:02:07,594 Thanks, everybody. 824 01:02:16,970 --> 01:02:18,572 We've got a way to save the camp! 825 01:02:18,606 --> 01:02:21,342 I told you, it's too late. Corporate is coming tomorrow 826 01:02:21,375 --> 01:02:23,977 We know, but we did this metaphor thing with everyone, 827 01:02:24,011 --> 01:02:25,245 and we found a little bit of cash. 828 01:02:25,279 --> 01:02:26,614 It's too late! 829 01:02:26,648 --> 01:02:29,049 They're going to shut us down. 830 01:02:29,083 --> 01:02:31,251 Or will they? 831 01:02:31,285 --> 01:02:34,922 - Uh, yeah, they will. - Are you sure about that? 832 01:02:34,955 --> 01:02:37,391 Yeah, pretty sure. 833 01:02:37,424 --> 01:02:41,095 I know for a fact they're going to be closing at least eight camps in this region alone. 834 01:02:41,128 --> 01:02:44,598 - We're bound to be one. - Not so fast. 835 01:02:44,632 --> 01:02:48,001 Not so fast? They're coming tomorrow! 836 01:02:48,035 --> 01:02:55,275 I wouldn't be so sure about us closing... not just yet. 837 01:02:55,309 --> 01:03:00,247 Yep, I think something might just change. 838 01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,149 - What? - Roger. 839 01:03:02,182 --> 01:03:06,220 I wouldn't count all your roosters before they hatch. 840 01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:10,324 Let's just see what a little passing of the time can do, hmm? 841 01:03:21,168 --> 01:03:22,670 Montage! 842 01:04:48,623 --> 01:04:53,427 ♪ Let's go sit in the sunshine ♪ 843 01:04:53,460 --> 01:04:56,731 ♪ Like we usually do ♪ 844 01:04:56,764 --> 01:05:01,568 ♪ Feeling water, hands in sand ♪ 845 01:05:01,602 --> 01:05:03,705 ♪ Leaves, trees, canopy ♪ 846 01:05:04,706 --> 01:05:08,208 It's so beautiful up here. 847 01:05:09,142 --> 01:05:10,277 Yeah, I know. 848 01:05:12,814 --> 01:05:17,351 This is... this is for sure the one thing that we all have in common. 849 01:05:17,384 --> 01:05:19,419 What's that? 850 01:05:19,453 --> 01:05:23,625 That we all love this place, and we don't want to see it go away. 851 01:05:25,627 --> 01:05:28,028 We figured that one out in the end. 852 01:05:31,365 --> 01:05:33,400 So, how do you think the review will go tomorrow? 853 01:05:34,468 --> 01:05:37,571 Honestly, I don't know. 854 01:05:37,605 --> 01:05:40,541 I just hope we didn't mess things up for the kids. 855 01:05:44,144 --> 01:05:49,182 ♪ Daydreaming, night and day ♪ 856 01:05:51,285 --> 01:05:52,620 Do you think you'll ever have kids? 857 01:05:54,454 --> 01:05:56,189 Yeah, eventually. 858 01:05:56,891 --> 01:05:59,560 I'd be an awesome dad. 859 01:05:59,593 --> 01:06:04,666 Ben, kids can't subsist on a diet of Skittles and wedgies, man. 860 01:06:05,900 --> 01:06:10,404 Yeah, obviously, I'd make adjustments, but I'd rise to the occasion. 861 01:06:10,437 --> 01:06:13,173 It's okay, Ben, not everyone's cut up to be a dad. 862 01:06:14,876 --> 01:06:18,846 Are you guys serious right now? Okay, look, fact! 863 01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:23,818 If you look back at all of humanity as a whole, from the start, fact, 864 01:06:23,851 --> 01:06:26,386 most kids by far, were just born. 865 01:06:26,420 --> 01:06:29,657 Just... just... just... just flopped out of their mothers onto a bed, 866 01:06:29,691 --> 01:06:32,694 like a mossy, messy, forest bed. 867 01:06:32,727 --> 01:06:36,831 And then, most of the time, fact, a wolf would just come along 868 01:06:36,864 --> 01:06:38,900 and... and eat the baby right away. 869 01:06:38,933 --> 01:06:41,134 Just a snack, you know? 870 01:06:41,168 --> 01:06:44,504 So, by those odds, you know, if... if you look at all the dads, 871 01:06:44,538 --> 01:06:49,611 from... from the start of humankind, I'd be like in the top one percentile. 872 01:06:49,644 --> 01:06:54,214 Right, 'cause you'd at least try to fight off a wolf from eating your newborn, right? 873 01:06:55,315 --> 01:06:57,384 Damn straight. 874 01:06:57,417 --> 01:07:00,253 The big day was here. 875 01:07:00,287 --> 01:07:02,757 If we didn't wow Gary with what we had planned, we'd lose the camp forever. 876 01:07:02,790 --> 01:07:04,358 Oh, fuck my dick. 877 01:07:12,432 --> 01:07:16,236 This'll be an easy axing. This place is a mess. Trust me. 878 01:07:20,942 --> 01:07:23,611 I still don't get why you're both in the backseat. 879 01:07:26,246 --> 01:07:30,550 Wow, those bureaucrats look just like how I pictured them in Roger's mind. 880 01:07:30,584 --> 01:07:31,686 I know. 881 01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:34,756 Chin up, Dale, we got this. 882 01:07:36,724 --> 01:07:38,726 Well, the front entrance looks tidy. 883 01:07:39,961 --> 01:07:41,461 A façade. 884 01:07:54,776 --> 01:07:56,878 How has your summer been? 885 01:07:56,911 --> 01:07:59,881 Uh, my summer? Fascinating! Fantastic! 886 01:07:59,914 --> 01:08:03,417 You know, we all... we all get along so well, you know. 887 01:08:03,450 --> 01:08:06,788 Everyone's pretty much my best bud, you know, we... we get along great, 888 01:08:06,821 --> 01:08:09,924 it's like, uh, it's really like a family, you know? 889 01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:13,226 I love this girl so much! 890 01:08:13,260 --> 01:08:16,698 You know, she's like the, uh, the big, uh, little... little... 891 01:08:16,731 --> 01:08:19,533 little brother that I... I never had. Get in here, get in here! 892 01:08:19,566 --> 01:08:24,972 Yeah, yeah, he's like a... he's like a... little dog I keep in my purse. 893 01:08:25,006 --> 01:08:28,009 Yeah, you're a bad dog, aren't you? 894 01:08:28,042 --> 01:08:30,577 Yeah. Gentlemen? 895 01:08:41,421 --> 01:08:44,892 Well, the toilets seem to flush normally, unobstructed. 896 01:09:03,711 --> 01:09:06,346 Smells very... nondescript. 897 01:09:07,347 --> 01:09:08,816 Yes! 898 01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:10,885 We have a very special lunch prepared for you, 899 01:09:10,918 --> 01:09:13,955 so if you'll just follow me into the dining hall. 900 01:09:22,663 --> 01:09:26,768 ♪ Morning has broken ♪ 901 01:09:26,801 --> 01:09:31,005 ♪ Like the first morning ♪ 902 01:09:31,038 --> 01:09:37,845 ♪ Blackbird has spoken Like the first bird ♪ 903 01:09:39,346 --> 01:09:43,517 ♪ Praise for the singing ♪ 904 01:09:43,550 --> 01:09:47,587 ♪ Praise for the morning ♪ 905 01:09:47,622 --> 01:09:54,461 ♪ Praise for them springing Fresh from the world ♪ 906 01:09:58,833 --> 01:10:02,502 ♪ Sweet the rain's new fall ♪ 907 01:10:02,536 --> 01:10:07,440 ♪ Sunlit from heaven ♪ 908 01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:13,981 ♪ Like the first dew fall On the first grass ♪ 909 01:10:15,149 --> 01:10:19,086 ♪ Praise for the sweetness ♪ 910 01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:23,523 ♪ Of the wet garden ♪ 911 01:10:23,557 --> 01:10:27,728 ♪ Sprung in completeness ♪ 912 01:10:27,762 --> 01:10:31,866 ♪ Where his feet pass ♪ 913 01:10:31,899 --> 01:10:35,937 ♪ Mine is the sunlight ♪ 914 01:10:35,970 --> 01:10:40,373 ♪ Mine is the morning ♪ 915 01:10:40,407 --> 01:10:44,444 ♪ Born of the one light ♪ 916 01:10:44,477 --> 01:10:48,515 ♪ Eden saw play ♪ 917 01:10:48,548 --> 01:10:52,653 ♪ Praise with elation ♪ 918 01:10:52,687 --> 01:10:56,590 ♪ Praise every morning ♪ 919 01:10:56,624 --> 01:11:00,895 ♪ God's re-creation ♪ 920 01:11:00,928 --> 01:11:03,865 ♪ Of the new day ♪ 921 01:11:05,099 --> 01:11:08,669 Haha. Alright. 922 01:11:10,805 --> 01:11:12,173 Alright. 923 01:11:15,977 --> 01:11:18,511 Okay! I won't shut down your camp! 924 01:11:18,545 --> 01:11:21,548 - Ya! - Woo-hoo! 925 01:11:25,987 --> 01:11:27,788 Yes! 926 01:11:32,827 --> 01:11:34,862 I'll just have to shut down another camp. 927 01:11:36,898 --> 01:11:38,065 Aw. 928 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,068 - Alright. - Woo-hoo! 929 01:12:00,121 --> 01:12:02,723 Is that morning dip, or flagpole? 930 01:12:03,925 --> 01:12:07,862 Neither, that's luggage, we slept in. 931 01:12:09,230 --> 01:12:11,999 Oh, shit. I've got to get back to my cabin! 932 01:12:13,267 --> 01:12:15,468 No goodbye? 933 01:12:15,502 --> 01:12:18,940 He pinched my butt on the way out. That was probably meant for you. 934 01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:22,977 Aw, that's sweet. 935 01:12:29,917 --> 01:12:33,854 Hey, you get lucky last night, man? 936 01:12:33,888 --> 01:12:36,657 Yeah, only waist-down though. 937 01:12:36,691 --> 01:12:40,861 What are you doing on the girls' side? Shit. I'm Audi 5000. 938 01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:50,805 - You scared me, man. - That was so close, we almost totally got busted! 939 01:12:50,838 --> 01:12:53,908 Nah, you just... you just gotta play it chill. 940 01:12:55,009 --> 01:12:57,244 You're right, I'm chill. 941 01:12:59,546 --> 01:13:04,118 - You're extra pretty when you're chill. - Really? 942 01:13:08,189 --> 01:13:09,589 Thanks! 943 01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:24,238 Thanks. Do you ladies want to help me pack some luggage? 944 01:13:24,271 --> 01:13:26,207 Oh, yeah, for sure! 945 01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:29,542 All right kids, gather around, hacky sack circle! 946 01:13:29,576 --> 01:13:33,681 Come on, ladies, let's go! Put your backs into it. Come on! 947 01:13:33,714 --> 01:13:35,316 Slackers, over there! 948 01:13:35,349 --> 01:13:38,152 Yeah, if you have a purple ribbon, you're on the next bus! 949 01:13:40,287 --> 01:13:42,156 Well, that's it. 950 01:13:42,189 --> 01:13:45,026 We saved the camp and the rest of the summer was great. 951 01:13:46,761 --> 01:13:49,797 Everything ran smooth and we made new friends along the way. 952 01:13:49,830 --> 01:13:52,266 It wasn't easy, but we got through it. 953 01:13:52,299 --> 01:13:55,269 And maybe came out a little better on the other side. 954 01:13:55,302 --> 01:13:57,238 - All in all. - It was a great summer. 955 01:13:57,271 --> 01:13:58,773 - That I'll never... - Forget. 956 01:14:00,207 --> 01:14:02,243 Well, it looks like we saved the camp. 957 01:14:02,276 --> 01:14:05,880 - Yeah, everyone did their part. - Yup. 958 01:14:08,682 --> 01:14:13,254 It's too bad we couldn't have worked things out earlier on, you know. 959 01:14:13,287 --> 01:14:14,955 We could have had more time together. 960 01:14:14,989 --> 01:14:18,959 - Yeah, a DeLorean would be nice. - Yeah, for sure. 961 01:14:20,127 --> 01:14:25,166 Yeah. I could go back and remind myself to say sexy instead of slutty. 962 01:14:25,199 --> 01:14:27,334 Or you could've just shut up and kissed me. 963 01:14:29,236 --> 01:14:30,603 Or that, yeah. 964 01:14:32,139 --> 01:14:34,842 But I get it though. 965 01:14:35,776 --> 01:14:41,916 Maybe... maybe we set something up nicer for the next generation. 966 01:14:55,229 --> 01:14:57,665 - Maybe that's it. - What? 967 01:14:57,698 --> 01:14:59,133 That's what kids are. 968 01:14:59,166 --> 01:15:02,803 They're like... they're like a time machine. 969 01:15:02,837 --> 01:15:05,106 It's a good chance to go back and do it right. 970 01:15:05,139 --> 01:15:06,207 From the beginning. 971 01:15:22,456 --> 01:15:24,792 Hey. You want some? 972 01:16:09,970 --> 01:16:11,872 89 Hams. Take one. 973 01:16:14,341 --> 01:16:15,976 End credits for the scene. 974 01:16:24,952 --> 01:16:26,987 Scary, scary at the moment, though. 975 01:16:28,489 --> 01:16:31,325 I hope an eagle mistakes your dick for a perch. 976 01:16:36,897 --> 01:16:39,033 Oh, gosh! 977 01:16:39,066 --> 01:16:42,036 I almost just French kissed you right now. 978 01:16:42,069 --> 01:16:43,804 Oui. 979 01:16:45,773 --> 01:16:47,908 My Swatch only shows hours. 980 01:16:49,910 --> 01:16:51,011 - Cut. - Cut. 981 01:16:51,045 --> 01:16:53,080 Let's go again. 982 01:16:55,783 --> 01:16:56,817 Mm-hmm. 983 01:16:58,452 --> 01:17:00,955 Just throw a, just throw a few on the camera here. 984 01:17:00,988 --> 01:17:04,758 ♪ Fist been moving on To the spoon for real ♪ 985 01:17:04,792 --> 01:17:05,526 Yeah. 986 01:17:05,559 --> 01:17:08,829 One for you, one for me. 987 01:17:09,897 --> 01:17:11,165 Oh, I gave you mine. 988 01:17:15,069 --> 01:17:21,375 The rock band Journey, the cast from Family Matters, Blue Man Group. 989 01:17:22,910 --> 01:17:24,378 Blue Man. 990 01:17:24,411 --> 01:17:27,848 Can you cue the music again right now just while I get into the groups? 991 01:20:54,565 --> 01:20:59,565 Subtitles by explosiveskull