1 00:00:07,687 --> 00:00:12,687 *** 2 00:01:00,122 --> 00:01:03,992 When I was a child, we would go to this cove 3 00:01:04,092 --> 00:01:07,628 under the cliffs called Hope Gap. 4 00:01:07,728 --> 00:01:13,133 When the tide was out, these little rock pools appeared. 5 00:01:13,232 --> 00:01:16,502 And in the pools were tiny sea creatures. 6 00:01:23,198 --> 00:01:25,601 My mother would sit on the rocks and wait 7 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,734 for me while I explored. 8 00:01:29,904 --> 00:01:34,441 I never asked myself what she was thinking 9 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,641 or if she was happy. 10 00:01:38,677 --> 00:01:39,945 You don't, do you? 11 00:02:11,138 --> 00:02:14,475 A lonely impulse of delight is it Gary. 12 00:02:14,575 --> 00:02:15,375 How is that? 13 00:02:15,476 --> 00:02:16,376 Oh, it's you, Grace. 14 00:02:16,476 --> 00:02:18,777 It's a poem, WB Yeats. 15 00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:21,813 Always with the poetry, eh, Grace. 16 00:02:21,914 --> 00:02:26,351 Nor law, nor duty bade me fight, nor public men, 17 00:02:26,451 --> 00:02:31,122 nor cheering crowds, a lonely impulse of delight 18 00:02:31,222 --> 00:02:33,757 drove to this tumult in the clouds. 19 00:02:33,857 --> 00:02:36,759 Oh, bollocks. 20 00:02:36,859 --> 00:02:41,096 I balanced all, brought all to mind. 21 00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:44,999 The years to come seemed a waste of breath. 22 00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:49,470 A waste of breath, the years behind in balance 23 00:02:49,571 --> 00:02:52,072 with this life, this death. 24 00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:55,509 Good day? 25 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:58,679 Uh, much the usual. 26 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,314 How was your day, Grace? 27 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,281 Was? 28 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:03,616 Oh, yeah. 29 00:03:03,715 --> 00:03:07,017 I did our walk to Hope Gap. 30 00:03:07,118 --> 00:03:09,353 I haven't done it for ages. 31 00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:12,189 Remember how Jamie used to love going there? 32 00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:15,659 Yes, of course. 33 00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:18,161 Sometimes I miss him so much. 34 00:03:30,104 --> 00:03:32,273 Did you make me a cup of tea? 35 00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:34,140 I thought you had one? 36 00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:35,175 It's gone cold. 37 00:03:40,579 --> 00:03:43,915 Why is it you only ever drink half your tea I wonder. 38 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,384 I wonder that, too. 39 00:03:46,484 --> 00:03:49,820 Ah, I suppose it's because I don't like things to end. 40 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,788 You're a non-completer. 41 00:03:51,888 --> 00:03:53,323 Oh, am I? 42 00:03:53,423 --> 00:03:54,790 Are you a completer? 43 00:03:54,890 --> 00:03:57,093 Up to a point. 44 00:03:57,193 --> 00:04:00,229 Can one complete anything up to a point? 45 00:04:00,329 --> 00:04:01,097 I don't think so. 46 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:05,200 Well, I do wish Jamie would come home. 47 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:05,900 It's been months. 48 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,435 He's got his own life. 49 00:04:07,535 --> 00:04:12,406 Well, of course, he has, but why doesn't it include us? 50 00:04:12,506 --> 00:04:13,207 Are you Wiki-ing? 51 00:04:13,307 --> 00:04:14,508 Yes. 52 00:04:14,608 --> 00:04:17,010 You never complete that. 53 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:19,479 You can't complete Wikipedia. 54 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:31,722 Napoleon marched 450,000 men across the Neman. 55 00:04:31,821 --> 00:04:35,392 Less than 20,000 came back. 56 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:39,962 The surprisingly large number of the officers kept diaries. 57 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:43,198 Over 150 have survived. 58 00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:46,301 Remarkable, really given the conditions on the retreat. 59 00:04:49,237 --> 00:04:52,973 As the men dropped in the intense cold, 60 00:04:53,073 --> 00:04:57,043 they were stripped of clothing by their own comrades 61 00:04:57,143 --> 00:05:01,047 and left naked in the snow still alive. 62 00:05:03,783 --> 00:05:06,551 It was a kind of survival strategy. 63 00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:10,354 In extremest, men can be cruel. 64 00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:11,388 Is that wrong? 65 00:05:11,488 --> 00:05:12,822 Do we blame them? 66 00:05:12,922 --> 00:05:16,392 Would any of us have behaved any better? 67 00:05:16,492 --> 00:05:17,093 Robbie? 68 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:22,097 I wouldn't have stripped them. 69 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:25,767 You'd have left them to die with their clothes on? 70 00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:27,068 Yes. 71 00:05:27,168 --> 00:05:30,571 Out of compassion or modesty? 72 00:05:30,671 --> 00:05:34,809 It's really hard getting people's clothes off. 73 00:05:34,908 --> 00:05:36,209 So it is. 74 00:05:38,278 --> 00:05:42,715 Well, it's been a while, and I was thinking. 75 00:05:42,815 --> 00:05:44,148 Oh, thank you, Jamie. 76 00:05:44,249 --> 00:05:47,352 Are you sure you can manage? 77 00:05:47,452 --> 00:05:48,052 I'll tell Grace. 78 00:05:48,152 --> 00:05:50,822 She'll be so pleased. 79 00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,923 Some time after lunch on Saturday. 80 00:05:55,991 --> 00:05:57,661 When men were wounded or frostbitten 81 00:05:57,761 --> 00:06:01,030 and men could no longer walk, orders were given to carry 82 00:06:01,130 --> 00:06:03,833 them on the baggage wagons. 83 00:06:03,932 --> 00:06:05,800 This slowed the wagons down, of course, 84 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,168 and reduced the chances that the baggage train 85 00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:11,305 would make it to Smolensk. 86 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:16,175 So the wagon drivers looked out for especially rotted ground 87 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:19,078 and then drove fast over it so that the wounded 88 00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:23,982 would be jolted off the wagons without anyone noticing. 89 00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:28,285 Once left behind on the road, they froze to death. 90 00:06:28,386 --> 00:06:30,588 This was understood to be an accident. 91 00:06:33,156 --> 00:06:36,493 Nobody looked back. 92 00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:37,460 Nobody looked back. 93 00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:43,998 I have been here before. 94 00:06:44,098 --> 00:06:46,067 What's that? 95 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:51,839 My anthology, that's what I should call it. 96 00:06:51,938 --> 00:06:53,774 The idea is whatever you're going through, 97 00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:57,243 someone's been through it before you, put it into words. 98 00:06:57,343 --> 00:06:59,779 It's the first line of a poem by Rossetti. 99 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,480 What is? 100 00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,783 I have been here before. 101 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,317 Jamie's coming for the weekend. 102 00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:08,620 Jamie's coming? 103 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,789 Some time after lunch on Saturday. 104 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,624 How do you know? 105 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,659 We spoke on the phone. 106 00:07:15,759 --> 00:07:16,660 He rang you? 107 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,560 Why? 108 00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:19,061 To say he was coming. 109 00:07:19,162 --> 00:07:20,463 Why did he ring you? 110 00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:21,096 I don't know. 111 00:07:21,196 --> 00:07:23,698 He does sometimes. 112 00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:24,965 Does he? 113 00:07:28,502 --> 00:07:30,604 When was the last time Jamie came home? 114 00:07:30,704 --> 00:07:31,772 April was it? 115 00:07:31,872 --> 00:07:33,707 He's got his own life to live. 116 00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:47,853 Hi, it's Kelly. 117 00:07:47,952 --> 00:07:49,120 I can't come to the phone right now 118 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,588 but please leave me a message and I'll 119 00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:52,757 call you back as soon as I can. 120 00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:54,257 Hi, Kelly. 121 00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:55,559 It's Jamie. 122 00:07:55,659 --> 00:07:58,227 I'm away over the weekend. 123 00:07:58,327 --> 00:07:59,995 I'll be back by 6:00 on Sunday. 124 00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:02,665 If you're around, it'd be great to see you. 125 00:08:02,765 --> 00:08:03,466 OK, bye. 126 00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:32,490 Hello, stranger. 127 00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:34,725 Hello, Mom. 128 00:08:34,825 --> 00:08:36,493 Hello, stranger. 129 00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:39,462 Hello, Mom. 130 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,763 Jamie. 131 00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:41,663 Dad. 132 00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,098 Jamie, Jamie. 133 00:08:43,198 --> 00:08:44,131 Thanks for coming. 134 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:44,867 How was your journey? 135 00:08:44,967 --> 00:08:45,868 Not bad. 136 00:08:45,968 --> 00:08:47,335 I got the 3:46. 137 00:08:47,435 --> 00:08:48,402 Running late. 138 00:08:48,503 --> 00:08:49,770 Only just made the connection at Lewis. 139 00:08:49,871 --> 00:08:52,339 Can't trust the trains these days. 140 00:08:52,439 --> 00:08:54,508 I'll just... I'll drop my stuff off. 141 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,579 Do you think he's happy? 142 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,015 I think he's happy in that flat of his. 143 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,949 Do you? 144 00:09:44,048 --> 00:09:45,082 All on his own? 145 00:09:45,182 --> 00:09:47,151 Well, there's that, of course. 146 00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:50,621 But he has it the way he wants it. 147 00:09:50,721 --> 00:09:52,589 No washing up to speak of. 148 00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:56,293 You use a plate, wash it, and there it is ready to use again. 149 00:09:56,393 --> 00:09:57,727 You do not run out of milk because you're 150 00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,628 the only one drinking it, so you know how much 151 00:09:59,728 --> 00:10:01,031 there is left in the fridge. 152 00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:03,999 Just little things, I know, but they have value. 153 00:10:04,098 --> 00:10:06,467 Well, you sound as if you envy him. 154 00:10:06,568 --> 00:10:07,869 No. 155 00:10:07,969 --> 00:10:11,371 Well, I don't think it's good for anyone, hiding in a hole, 156 00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:14,041 having everything always be the same. 157 00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:16,175 Jamie, are you going to be long? 158 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,177 Not long. 159 00:10:18,277 --> 00:10:21,514 Let's have candles to celebrate Jamie coming home. 160 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:23,248 Yes, why not. 161 00:10:23,348 --> 00:10:27,953 Next week, we'll have been married 29 years. 162 00:10:28,053 --> 00:10:29,687 Yes, I suppose we will. 163 00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:34,925 Do you have something in mind? 164 00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,859 What do you mean? 165 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,227 Well, where we go out for dinner. 166 00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:43,465 If that's what you'd want. 167 00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,067 No, it isn't. 168 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,034 It isn't? 169 00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:47,069 No. 170 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,202 All right, then we won't go out. 171 00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:49,804 Oh, for God's sake, Edward. 172 00:10:49,904 --> 00:10:51,371 Did I say something wrong? 173 00:10:51,472 --> 00:10:53,874 Well, I say will we go out for dinner on our anniversary 174 00:10:53,975 --> 00:10:57,176 and you say if that's what you want and I say it isn't and you 175 00:10:57,276 --> 00:10:58,778 say then we won't. 176 00:10:58,878 --> 00:11:01,447 But I do want to go out for dinner on our anniversary. 177 00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:02,681 Why do you think I suggested it? 178 00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,215 Then why say you don't? 179 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,451 Because I don't want to do it because I want to do it. 180 00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:09,186 I want to do it because you want to do it. 181 00:11:09,286 --> 00:11:10,587 So do you want to do it? 182 00:11:10,688 --> 00:11:11,521 Yes. 183 00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:12,856 So will you book somewhere? 184 00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:14,257 Yeah. 185 00:11:14,358 --> 00:11:17,060 Not that awful place you chose last year. 186 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:19,862 Maybe you should make booking. 187 00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:22,330 Do I have to do everything? 188 00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:28,202 Will you be coming to mass in the morning, Jamie? 189 00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:31,138 Mom, you know I don't do that anymore. 190 00:11:31,238 --> 00:11:32,840 Why not? 191 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,008 Have you stopped believing in God? 192 00:11:34,108 --> 00:11:35,475 More or less. 193 00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:36,609 Why? 194 00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:39,277 Is it because of all the suffering in the world? 195 00:11:39,378 --> 00:11:41,014 That's a part of it, yes. 196 00:11:41,114 --> 00:11:43,315 But don't you see, that's exactly 197 00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:45,517 why there has to be a God. 198 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,752 If this world was all there is, how could we bear it? 199 00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:50,655 Edward, explain why God allows the suffering. 200 00:11:50,755 --> 00:11:55,225 It's, um... it's about free will, isn't it. 201 00:11:55,325 --> 00:11:56,126 Jamie knows all this. 202 00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:56,993 No, no, go on. 203 00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:57,961 Explain. 204 00:11:58,061 --> 00:11:59,395 I do know the arguments. 205 00:11:59,495 --> 00:12:00,596 No, but if you understood properly, you'd believe. 206 00:12:00,696 --> 00:12:03,032 Look, as far as I can see, the world's 207 00:12:03,132 --> 00:12:06,734 a frightening place where things happen that aren't fair, 208 00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:09,403 and there isn't really any meaning to any of it. 209 00:12:09,504 --> 00:12:12,140 And in the end, we all get wiped out. 210 00:12:12,239 --> 00:12:13,907 We can't bear that, so we invent God 211 00:12:14,007 --> 00:12:17,576 and heaven to reassure ourselves it'll all work out in the end. 212 00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:19,378 I don't think that's a bad thing to do. 213 00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:22,048 I just happen to think it's not true. 214 00:12:22,148 --> 00:12:24,215 You're wrong. 215 00:12:24,315 --> 00:12:25,151 Tell him, Edward. 216 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,718 Tell him what? 217 00:12:26,818 --> 00:12:28,019 That God exists. 218 00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:31,288 You can't tell people a thing like. 219 00:12:31,388 --> 00:12:33,023 God's not information. 220 00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:36,626 God's a conviction. 221 00:12:36,726 --> 00:12:38,261 It's like love. 222 00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:39,662 You don't tell love. 223 00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:40,730 You feel love. 224 00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:43,231 That's right. 225 00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,133 That's just how it is. 226 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,034 Coffee? 227 00:12:46,134 --> 00:12:48,703 Yes, I'd like that. 228 00:12:48,803 --> 00:12:51,605 I can't bear to think you're unhappy, Jamie. 229 00:12:51,706 --> 00:12:52,973 I'm not unhappy. 230 00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:53,874 I'm fine. 231 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,275 No, all on your own? 232 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,010 I'm fine, Mom. 233 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,044 All right. 234 00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,645 Fine isn't the same as happy. 235 00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:00,913 Well, who's happy? 236 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,213 Fine's fine. 237 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:05,150 No, we're happy, aren't we, Edward? 238 00:13:05,249 --> 00:13:07,585 Yes, we're fine. 239 00:13:07,685 --> 00:13:09,487 I hope you don't mind, but I'm 240 00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,022 under big pressure at work. 241 00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:12,322 I thought I'd give it a couple of hours 242 00:13:12,422 --> 00:13:13,790 before I call it a night. 243 00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,424 Whatever you want, darling. 244 00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:51,789 I don't think I'll make mass tomorrow morning. 245 00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:54,324 I've got all the coursework papers to mark. 246 00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:58,027 I'd rather get it done while I'm fresh. 247 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,064 We are happy, aren't we? 248 00:14:01,164 --> 00:14:03,665 Why wouldn't we be? 249 00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:08,436 Sometimes I think we don't really talk. 250 00:14:08,536 --> 00:14:10,004 What do you mean talk? 251 00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:12,639 You know, talk the way people do. 252 00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:19,745 It's like magic, isn't it? 253 00:14:19,845 --> 00:14:22,148 You see, we don't talk. 254 00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:24,749 What? 255 00:14:24,849 --> 00:14:27,051 I say things. 256 00:14:27,152 --> 00:14:28,119 Why don't you say things? 257 00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:29,888 What do you want me to say? 258 00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:31,055 Anything. 259 00:14:31,156 --> 00:14:32,623 Whatever comes into your head. 260 00:14:32,723 --> 00:14:36,059 Well, I've become fascinated by the eyewitness accounts 261 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:36,993 of the retreat from Moscow. 262 00:14:37,094 --> 00:14:38,995 Ugh, that's not talking. 263 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,462 That's Wiki-ing. 264 00:14:40,562 --> 00:14:41,998 I mean talk, you and me. 265 00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:48,636 Is this what you want? 266 00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:52,873 No. 267 00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:55,909 If this isn't what you want, then what is? 268 00:14:56,009 --> 00:14:57,443 I know I annoy you sometimes. 269 00:14:57,544 --> 00:14:59,279 No, that's about how I feel. 270 00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:00,479 I want to know how you feel. 271 00:15:00,579 --> 00:15:02,948 Feel about what? 272 00:15:03,048 --> 00:15:06,584 What would make you happier? 273 00:15:06,684 --> 00:15:08,586 I suppose if you were happy. 274 00:15:08,686 --> 00:15:09,954 No, no, talk about you. 275 00:15:12,656 --> 00:15:14,324 I don't want anything special. 276 00:15:14,424 --> 00:15:16,559 But you do want something? 277 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:20,095 There's something two people can have that we haven't 278 00:15:20,196 --> 00:15:22,530 got that you wish we had. 279 00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:23,232 Yes. 280 00:15:23,331 --> 00:15:24,566 What is it? 281 00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:26,235 I don't know how to explain. 282 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:31,306 Well... think of a word, any word, the first 283 00:15:31,405 --> 00:15:32,806 word comes to your head. 284 00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:33,740 Sunny. 285 00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:34,842 Sunny? 286 00:15:34,942 --> 00:15:36,243 It's only one word. There's others. 287 00:15:36,342 --> 00:15:37,510 All right give me some other words. 288 00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:38,477 - I don't want to do this. - Why not? 289 00:15:38,578 --> 00:15:39,679 I'll only make it worse. 290 00:15:39,779 --> 00:15:40,913 How will it make things worse? 291 00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:42,347 Because whatever I say will be wrong. 292 00:15:42,447 --> 00:15:43,448 Well, it can't be wrong if it's true. 293 00:15:43,548 --> 00:15:44,583 Or not enough. 294 00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:45,851 What do you mean not enough? 295 00:15:45,951 --> 00:15:48,853 I think you want something I haven't got. 296 00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:51,387 What? 297 00:15:51,488 --> 00:15:55,692 I always somehow feel that I'm in the wrong. 298 00:15:55,792 --> 00:15:57,426 I don't care about who's right or wrong. 299 00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:58,460 I just want you to be there. Here. 300 00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,195 I am... I am here. 301 00:15:59,295 --> 00:15:59,929 No, you're not. 302 00:16:00,029 --> 00:16:00,696 I am here. 303 00:16:00,796 --> 00:16:02,064 No, you're not. 304 00:16:02,164 --> 00:16:03,966 It's like somehow you've sneaked away when I wasn't looking. 305 00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:06,335 I don't know how else to put it. 306 00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:07,535 What are you doing? 307 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:10,403 I'm putting out the breakfast things. 308 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,705 Put that down. 309 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:15,642 Look at me. 310 00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,947 You say you don't tell love. 311 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,215 You feel love. 312 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,150 But how am I to know if you never say it. 313 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,517 It's just assumed. 314 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:27,986 It's just there. 315 00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:32,323 Even so, just to help me, please say it. 316 00:16:32,422 --> 00:16:33,624 I can't now. 317 00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:34,791 It wouldn't mean anything. 318 00:16:34,892 --> 00:16:36,059 Why not? 319 00:16:36,159 --> 00:16:37,860 I'd only be saying it because you asked me to say it. 320 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,628 I don't mind. 321 00:16:38,728 --> 00:16:39,662 This is childish, Grace. 322 00:16:39,762 --> 00:16:40,363 Say it! 323 00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:41,696 Why are you doing this? 324 00:16:41,796 --> 00:16:42,864 Why are you making everything into a problem? 325 00:16:42,964 --> 00:16:43,965 This isn't anything to do with me. 326 00:16:44,065 --> 00:16:44,733 This is your problem. 327 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:47,936 Don't ever say that to me again. 328 00:16:48,036 --> 00:16:49,037 You're part of this. 329 00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:50,971 You're involved whether you like it or not. 330 00:16:57,844 --> 00:16:59,444 Do something. 331 00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:02,047 Say something. 332 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:03,615 If you hate me, say you hate me. 333 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:04,883 Say you want to leave me. 334 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,051 Say you want to kill me. 335 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:08,019 Tell me something real. 336 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,187 I'm tired. 337 00:17:10,288 --> 00:17:12,290 I want to go to bed. 338 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:13,790 We'll talk about it in the morning. 339 00:17:57,393 --> 00:17:58,928 What happened? 340 00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,596 I did it. 341 00:18:01,697 --> 00:18:05,067 Were you going for him again? 342 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,301 He should fight back. 343 00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:07,568 Is that what you want, a fight? 344 00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:09,637 I want a reaction. 345 00:18:09,737 --> 00:18:11,571 I want a real marriage. 346 00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:14,174 What is he so afraid of? 347 00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:15,709 Why does he walk away from me? 348 00:18:15,809 --> 00:18:16,643 Because you go for him. 349 00:18:16,743 --> 00:18:20,280 Oh, I don't go for him. 350 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:22,081 But I did hit him just now. 351 00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:23,382 Oh, Mom. 352 00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:25,317 What else am I to do? 353 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,818 How else am I to get through to him? 354 00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:29,454 I feel like if I can only give him a big enough shock, 355 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:30,654 he'll wake up. 356 00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:33,490 Well, hitting him won't help. 357 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,392 What do you think I should do? 358 00:18:35,491 --> 00:18:37,960 I think you should be nicer to him. 359 00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:38,861 Nicer? 360 00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:43,032 You sound like Edward. 361 00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:45,166 I think you should stop going for him. 362 00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:46,500 You said that already. 363 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,236 You don't listen, do you? 364 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,738 Yes, well, we've all seen what a great success 365 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,039 you've made of your love life. 366 00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:57,010 Oh, I'm sorry, darling. 367 00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:58,644 I'm sorry. 368 00:18:58,745 --> 00:19:00,612 I didn't mean it. 369 00:19:00,712 --> 00:19:03,148 Actually you didn't know anything about my love life. 370 00:19:03,248 --> 00:19:04,582 Don't I? 371 00:19:04,683 --> 00:19:06,485 Have you got a secret wife somewhere? 372 00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:07,985 Secret children? 373 00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:10,121 You don't have to have a family to have a love life. 374 00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:13,124 You must admit there's something odd about you living 375 00:19:13,224 --> 00:19:15,225 alone in that flat at your age. 376 00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:17,726 Lots of people live alone. 377 00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:20,062 Edward envies you, you know. 378 00:19:20,162 --> 00:19:21,063 Oh? 379 00:19:21,163 --> 00:19:22,563 Yes, he'd love to live in your flat 380 00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:25,067 and do the same thing at the same time every day. 381 00:19:28,936 --> 00:19:31,439 It's what I rescued him from. 382 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,273 Don't try rescuing me. 383 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,042 I do worry about you. 384 00:19:35,142 --> 00:19:37,110 I worry about you. 385 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,412 Why? 386 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,012 Because Edward and I have these little rows. 387 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,714 I'm just trying to keep well out of the line of fire. 388 00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,616 You know I love him, don't you. 389 00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:47,352 Doesn't mean anything if we quarrel from time to time. 390 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:49,820 Oh, throw the breakfast things around? 391 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,756 Well, I tipped the table up. 392 00:19:52,856 --> 00:19:54,058 Had to do something. 393 00:19:55,259 --> 00:19:56,592 I thought maybe you'd thrown them at him? 394 00:19:56,692 --> 00:19:59,295 No, wouldn't do that, not cutlery. 395 00:20:00,363 --> 00:20:02,532 I'm relieved to hear it. 396 00:20:02,631 --> 00:20:05,167 I would have cleared it up if you hadn't done it. 397 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:07,668 Well, it's was done now. 398 00:20:07,768 --> 00:20:10,271 Thank you, darling. 399 00:20:10,371 --> 00:20:11,405 Thank you. 400 00:20:11,505 --> 00:20:13,907 I'll see you in the morning then. 401 00:20:14,007 --> 00:20:17,177 I think I may go to early mass. 402 00:20:17,277 --> 00:20:18,211 You want me to wake you? 403 00:20:18,311 --> 00:20:19,112 No. 404 00:20:19,212 --> 00:20:20,413 No, let me sleep. 405 00:20:20,513 --> 00:20:22,548 All right then, darling. 406 00:20:22,648 --> 00:20:24,183 Good night. 407 00:20:24,283 --> 00:20:25,050 Good night. 408 00:21:12,556 --> 00:21:17,327 Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace 409 00:21:17,427 --> 00:21:20,162 is a peaceful of good will. 410 00:21:20,263 --> 00:21:26,968 We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you. 411 00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:30,637 We give you thanks for your great glory. 412 00:21:30,737 --> 00:21:34,608 Lord God, heavenly King, oh God almighty 413 00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:37,810 father, Lord Jesus Christ... 414 00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:40,913 Only God himself, Lord God... 415 00:21:41,013 --> 00:21:44,816 Lamb of God, son of Father, you take 416 00:21:44,916 --> 00:21:47,051 away the sins of the world. 417 00:21:47,152 --> 00:21:48,652 Have mercy on us. 418 00:21:48,752 --> 00:21:50,455 Have mercy on us. 419 00:21:50,555 --> 00:21:51,955 Have mercy on us. 420 00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:03,533 When do you have to go? 421 00:22:03,633 --> 00:22:05,634 After lunch? 422 00:22:05,733 --> 00:22:09,303 Right away after lunch. 423 00:22:09,403 --> 00:22:12,206 Three-ish. 424 00:22:12,306 --> 00:22:15,909 I don't suppose you could stay on a little longer? 425 00:22:16,009 --> 00:22:17,610 I'd rather not really. 426 00:22:17,709 --> 00:22:19,579 Why? 427 00:22:19,678 --> 00:22:23,781 It's just that things are coming to a head. 428 00:22:23,882 --> 00:22:26,451 I thought it might be better for Grace if you were here. 429 00:22:26,552 --> 00:22:28,686 What do you mean coming to a head. 430 00:22:28,786 --> 00:22:32,756 Well, I suppose you heard last night. 431 00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:34,925 She's not that all the time is she? 432 00:22:35,025 --> 00:22:36,259 No. 433 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,793 No. 434 00:22:37,893 --> 00:22:39,895 Better that I'm here for what? 435 00:22:43,365 --> 00:22:44,466 I'm going to leave. 436 00:22:50,305 --> 00:22:50,971 I'm sorry. 437 00:22:51,071 --> 00:22:52,206 I can't make Grace happy. 438 00:22:52,306 --> 00:22:54,174 I've tried, but I'm the wrong person. 439 00:22:57,076 --> 00:23:03,181 Also, ridiculous as it may sound, I've fallen in love. 440 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:04,049 What? 441 00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:07,052 It's not what I expected either. 442 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:09,654 Jesus, Dad, how did this happen? 443 00:23:09,753 --> 00:23:13,057 Her name's Angela. 444 00:23:13,157 --> 00:23:17,427 She's the mother of a boy at school. 445 00:23:17,527 --> 00:23:20,263 He's been having problems, and I've been helping him. 446 00:23:20,363 --> 00:23:22,164 Oh, God. 447 00:23:22,264 --> 00:23:24,533 Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 448 00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:26,801 Only what about Mom? 449 00:23:26,901 --> 00:23:29,904 She'll be better off without me. 450 00:23:30,004 --> 00:23:32,906 I don't give her what she wants. 451 00:23:33,006 --> 00:23:36,209 I didn't realize until I got to know Angela. 452 00:23:36,309 --> 00:23:38,944 With Angela, it's easy. 453 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,580 The way I am seems to suit her. 454 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:46,951 With Grace, everything I do is wrong. 455 00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:51,388 I'm nervous and clumsy. 456 00:23:51,489 --> 00:23:52,422 I annoy her. 457 00:23:55,024 --> 00:23:56,792 Does she know anything? 458 00:23:56,892 --> 00:23:58,527 Not about Angela, no. 459 00:24:02,831 --> 00:24:04,933 So it'll come out of nowhere. 460 00:24:05,033 --> 00:24:07,102 Well, hardly nowhere. 461 00:24:10,037 --> 00:24:11,672 It's been getting worse and worse. 462 00:24:11,771 --> 00:24:14,007 Several times, she's talked about separation. 463 00:24:14,107 --> 00:24:15,141 She doesn't mean it. 464 00:24:15,241 --> 00:24:16,876 Then why does she say it. 465 00:24:16,976 --> 00:24:19,545 She feels there's something not real about her marriage. 466 00:24:19,646 --> 00:24:20,812 Well, you she could be right. 467 00:24:20,912 --> 00:24:22,447 But I don't think she wants to be right. 468 00:24:31,155 --> 00:24:34,524 That's why I was hoping you could stay on a bit longer. 469 00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:50,405 Why didn't you change your mind? 470 00:24:50,505 --> 00:24:51,305 I'm sorry. 471 00:24:51,405 --> 00:24:52,640 It's all gone too far. 472 00:24:52,740 --> 00:24:54,708 Oh, God. 473 00:24:54,807 --> 00:24:57,544 She'll still have you. 474 00:24:57,644 --> 00:24:59,845 Sorry. 475 00:24:59,945 --> 00:25:03,848 I don't know that I can do this. 476 00:25:03,948 --> 00:25:08,620 Well, I have to tell her soon. 477 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,188 What will you do, move out? 478 00:25:11,288 --> 00:25:12,056 Yes. 479 00:25:12,156 --> 00:25:13,557 When? 480 00:25:13,657 --> 00:25:17,527 Well, the plan was soon, very soon. 481 00:25:17,627 --> 00:25:19,429 Well, you don't mean today. 482 00:25:19,529 --> 00:25:22,632 Angela felt why drag it out. 483 00:25:22,732 --> 00:25:24,366 No, you can't. 484 00:25:24,466 --> 00:25:26,867 You have to break it to her more gently. 485 00:25:26,967 --> 00:25:28,369 How do I do that? 486 00:25:31,605 --> 00:25:33,907 She'll be back from church soon and I'm going to tell her 487 00:25:34,007 --> 00:25:38,977 and then I'm going to leave. 488 00:25:39,078 --> 00:25:43,148 You can be with her for a while and still be away by 4:00. 489 00:25:43,248 --> 00:25:47,985 I know the trains can be very slow on Sunday. 490 00:25:48,086 --> 00:25:50,187 This is why you asked me to come down. 491 00:25:56,493 --> 00:25:58,494 Have you packed a bag? 492 00:25:58,594 --> 00:26:00,463 Just the basics. 493 00:26:00,563 --> 00:26:02,097 So it's already happened. 494 00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:13,173 How long will it take? 495 00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:16,677 I don't want to be here when you do it. 496 00:26:16,777 --> 00:26:20,780 Give me half an hour. 497 00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:22,849 Half an hour then. 498 00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:23,915 Right. 499 00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:13,223 Ha, Jamie not up? 500 00:27:13,323 --> 00:27:15,692 He's gone out for a walk. 501 00:27:15,793 --> 00:27:17,895 A walk by himself. 502 00:27:17,994 --> 00:27:21,029 He never goes for a walk by himself. 503 00:27:21,129 --> 00:27:22,899 A cup of tea? 504 00:27:22,998 --> 00:27:23,765 Toast? 505 00:27:23,866 --> 00:27:24,566 Please. 506 00:27:27,803 --> 00:27:32,105 You know how we say in the mass, Lord have mercy on us. 507 00:27:32,205 --> 00:27:33,507 I found myself counting. 508 00:27:33,607 --> 00:27:36,843 We asked for mercy 17 times. 509 00:27:36,942 --> 00:27:41,413 Nine times in the curia alone, of course, three times in agnus 510 00:27:41,513 --> 00:27:45,116 dei, and it kept popping up everywhere else. 511 00:27:45,216 --> 00:27:48,486 I think it may have a sort of hypnotic effect, 512 00:27:48,586 --> 00:27:49,854 all that asking for mercy. 513 00:27:49,953 --> 00:27:52,422 After a while, it begins to strike you maybe you need it. 514 00:28:00,863 --> 00:28:02,898 I know I go for you sometimes. 515 00:28:02,997 --> 00:28:05,967 I'll try to stop. 516 00:28:06,067 --> 00:28:08,001 Really all I want is reassurance. 517 00:28:08,101 --> 00:28:10,571 All right. 518 00:28:10,672 --> 00:28:13,207 Hmm? 519 00:28:13,307 --> 00:28:16,008 Just to know that we're going through this thing together. 520 00:28:30,387 --> 00:28:33,423 It's not really working is it? 521 00:28:36,526 --> 00:28:38,761 What did you say? 522 00:28:38,862 --> 00:28:40,429 It's not really working. 523 00:28:40,529 --> 00:28:42,431 Thank God. 524 00:28:42,531 --> 00:28:44,065 You do see it. 525 00:28:44,165 --> 00:28:46,267 What's happened to us? 526 00:28:46,367 --> 00:28:50,070 I think what you said is true. 527 00:28:50,170 --> 00:28:51,304 I've been walking away. 528 00:28:51,404 --> 00:28:53,406 I've been avoiding things. 529 00:28:53,507 --> 00:28:55,075 Thank God. 530 00:28:55,175 --> 00:28:56,676 You're saying it at last. 531 00:28:56,776 --> 00:29:01,480 I suppose I felt I can't give you what you want, 532 00:29:01,580 --> 00:29:05,750 so I felt like I'm not very useful person really, 533 00:29:05,851 --> 00:29:07,017 for you at least. 534 00:29:07,118 --> 00:29:10,655 I seem to annoy you and do things wrong. 535 00:29:10,755 --> 00:29:14,491 That makes me feel, well, not much good really. 536 00:29:14,591 --> 00:29:17,660 So I try not to talk about it, which only makes it worse. 537 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,462 Thank God. 538 00:29:19,562 --> 00:29:21,631 You understand. 539 00:29:21,731 --> 00:29:22,765 I've been praying for this. 540 00:29:25,333 --> 00:29:29,336 I think the truth we're different kinds of people. 541 00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:31,539 It may just be that we don't work very well together. 542 00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,873 But we can. 543 00:29:32,973 --> 00:29:35,508 If we understand each other and are real with each other 544 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:36,709 and if you... 545 00:29:36,809 --> 00:29:39,012 if we have the will to make it work, it'll work. 546 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:40,078 I know it. 547 00:29:40,178 --> 00:29:41,915 I'm not sure I have that will. 548 00:29:42,015 --> 00:29:43,615 Well, you have to. 549 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:48,753 Marriages only work because both people want them to work. 550 00:29:48,853 --> 00:29:50,488 I'm not sure I want that. 551 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:52,990 You're not sure you want our marriage to work? 552 00:29:53,089 --> 00:29:54,791 Edward, listen to me. 553 00:29:54,891 --> 00:29:56,225 This is terribly important. 554 00:29:56,326 --> 00:29:59,128 You must will or marriage, or it'll die. 555 00:29:59,228 --> 00:30:00,362 There's no in between. 556 00:30:00,462 --> 00:30:03,064 It's either alive, or it's dead. 557 00:30:03,164 --> 00:30:05,733 What if it's dead? 558 00:30:05,834 --> 00:30:07,468 Then we go our separate ways. 559 00:30:07,569 --> 00:30:10,370 No one can live in a dead marriage. 560 00:30:10,470 --> 00:30:14,741 Maybe that's what we should do, go our separate ways. 561 00:30:14,841 --> 00:30:16,810 But it isn't dead. 562 00:30:16,910 --> 00:30:19,712 Do you think it's dead? 563 00:30:19,812 --> 00:30:20,846 Well, I don't. 564 00:30:20,947 --> 00:30:23,081 It's not dead for me. 565 00:30:23,181 --> 00:30:23,916 I'm your wife. 566 00:30:24,016 --> 00:30:25,083 You're my husband. 567 00:30:25,183 --> 00:30:26,083 You can say anything you want to me, 568 00:30:26,183 --> 00:30:27,351 anything in the whole world. 569 00:30:34,692 --> 00:30:38,461 I want to leave. 570 00:30:38,561 --> 00:30:39,462 Leave? 571 00:30:39,562 --> 00:30:40,529 Yes. 572 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:41,697 Leave to go where? 573 00:30:47,335 --> 00:30:50,838 There's someone else. 574 00:30:50,938 --> 00:30:53,139 Someone else? 575 00:30:53,239 --> 00:30:54,274 I'm sorry. 576 00:30:59,012 --> 00:31:01,081 How can there be some... someone else? 577 00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:02,915 What someone else? 578 00:31:03,015 --> 00:31:05,717 A parent at school. 579 00:31:05,817 --> 00:31:07,619 You don't know... 580 00:31:07,719 --> 00:31:09,119 What parent at school? 581 00:31:12,023 --> 00:31:15,092 Her name's Angela Walker. 582 00:31:15,191 --> 00:31:16,325 I didn't mean it to happen. 583 00:31:16,425 --> 00:31:20,128 It was an accident, but it's happened. 584 00:31:20,229 --> 00:31:22,197 An accident? 585 00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,198 How was it an accident? 586 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,770 I met her to talk over her son's problems. 587 00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:33,306 She told me about the situation at home 588 00:31:33,406 --> 00:31:38,311 and that the boy's father left a year or so ago. 589 00:31:38,411 --> 00:31:41,914 She became quite emotional. 590 00:31:42,015 --> 00:31:50,821 And I said what I could, and that's how we became close. 591 00:31:50,921 --> 00:31:52,657 Became close? 592 00:31:52,757 --> 00:31:53,823 Yes. 593 00:31:53,924 --> 00:31:54,758 How close? 594 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:58,962 No. 595 00:31:59,062 --> 00:32:01,330 I don't want to hear it. 596 00:32:01,430 --> 00:32:04,733 When did this accident happen? 597 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,668 About a year ago. 598 00:32:06,768 --> 00:32:07,902 A year ago? 599 00:32:10,404 --> 00:32:11,906 And you went on just the same? 600 00:32:15,542 --> 00:32:17,476 I should've told you before. 601 00:32:17,576 --> 00:32:21,714 But it's not an accident. 602 00:32:21,814 --> 00:32:24,083 You're doing it. 603 00:32:24,182 --> 00:32:26,785 You don't have to do it. 604 00:32:26,885 --> 00:32:27,919 You can stop doing it. 605 00:32:28,019 --> 00:32:29,420 I'm sorry. 606 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,821 I can't. 607 00:32:30,921 --> 00:32:33,757 You're not free? 608 00:32:33,857 --> 00:32:35,191 Don't you realize that? 609 00:32:38,261 --> 00:32:40,228 This woman may have lost her husband, 610 00:32:40,328 --> 00:32:43,765 but that doesn't give her the right to take mine. 611 00:32:43,865 --> 00:32:45,100 Edward, this is ridiculous. 612 00:32:45,199 --> 00:32:46,500 You must see that. 613 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,969 Or are you just doing this to give me a fright, 614 00:32:49,071 --> 00:32:51,572 make me behave better? 615 00:32:51,672 --> 00:32:52,539 No. 616 00:32:55,275 --> 00:32:57,510 Does Jamie know? 617 00:32:57,610 --> 00:32:58,678 Some of it. 618 00:32:58,778 --> 00:32:59,879 I told him at breakfast. 619 00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:02,147 You told Jamie? 620 00:33:02,247 --> 00:33:05,050 I know this is all a shock. 621 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:08,753 But I do truly believe you'll come to see it's for the best. 622 00:33:08,853 --> 00:33:11,254 For the best? 623 00:33:11,354 --> 00:33:13,223 I'm no good for you, Grace. 624 00:33:13,323 --> 00:33:15,926 I didn't give you what you want. 625 00:33:16,026 --> 00:33:20,463 You don't give me what I want because you're not even trying. 626 00:33:20,563 --> 00:33:22,397 You found a way to sneak out of it. 627 00:33:22,497 --> 00:33:23,798 Well, I won't let you. 628 00:33:23,899 --> 00:33:26,501 I'm sorry. 629 00:33:26,601 --> 00:33:28,169 I've made up... I've made up my mind. 630 00:33:28,268 --> 00:33:31,271 Well, you'll have to unmake it, won't you? 631 00:33:31,371 --> 00:33:33,474 This decision involves me. 632 00:33:33,574 --> 00:33:34,908 You have to consult me. 633 00:33:35,008 --> 00:33:36,009 Don't do this, Grace. 634 00:33:36,110 --> 00:33:37,276 It'll only make it worse. 635 00:33:37,376 --> 00:33:40,213 You can't just walk away after 29 years. 636 00:33:40,312 --> 00:33:41,214 You have to try. 637 00:33:41,346 --> 00:33:44,549 I have tried for 29 years. 638 00:33:44,649 --> 00:33:46,184 No. 639 00:33:46,283 --> 00:33:47,185 Don't say that. 640 00:33:47,284 --> 00:33:48,419 You don't mean that. 641 00:33:48,519 --> 00:33:51,254 No. 642 00:33:51,354 --> 00:33:52,555 No, I don't mean that. 643 00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:57,460 But you know how it's been. 644 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:08,669 I... look, Edward, we had Tunbridge. 645 00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:18,377 We... when Jamie was little, those years at Tunbridge, 646 00:34:18,477 --> 00:34:20,379 they were good years. 647 00:34:20,479 --> 00:34:22,114 You mustn't take it all. 648 00:34:22,214 --> 00:34:23,015 You mustn't. 649 00:34:23,115 --> 00:34:24,816 You'll kill me. 650 00:34:24,916 --> 00:34:28,853 When Jamie was little, they were good years. 651 00:34:55,008 --> 00:34:56,643 Come here, darling. 652 00:35:01,780 --> 00:35:02,381 Oh. 653 00:35:08,152 --> 00:35:10,721 All right. 654 00:35:10,822 --> 00:35:12,056 You win. 655 00:35:12,156 --> 00:35:13,990 I'm sorry. 656 00:35:14,090 --> 00:35:16,193 I won't go for you ever again. 657 00:35:16,293 --> 00:35:17,093 Just don't leave. 658 00:35:17,194 --> 00:35:18,228 You know it won't work. 659 00:35:18,327 --> 00:35:19,095 Yes, it will. 660 00:35:19,196 --> 00:35:19,929 We'll make it work. 661 00:35:20,029 --> 00:35:21,230 Grace... 662 00:35:21,362 --> 00:35:23,398 I just want a chance to put things right. 663 00:35:23,498 --> 00:35:25,301 That's fair, isn't it? 664 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,735 You owe me that at least. 665 00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:28,502 Sit down. 666 00:35:28,602 --> 00:35:30,904 Finish your breakfast. 667 00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:32,039 I have finished. 668 00:36:12,306 --> 00:36:14,275 It's me. 669 00:36:14,374 --> 00:36:17,376 I'm on my way. 670 00:36:17,476 --> 00:36:19,312 He won't leave, will he? 671 00:36:19,411 --> 00:36:21,213 He's just doing this to frighten me. 672 00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:22,748 I think... I think he'll leave. 673 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,483 Can you tell me something else please? 674 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:26,985 I don't know what to say. 675 00:36:27,085 --> 00:36:28,619 Say it won't happen. 676 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:31,356 Say there's something I can do. 677 00:36:31,455 --> 00:36:34,423 Darling boy, tell me what it is I'm to do 678 00:36:34,523 --> 00:36:35,491 and I'll do it for you. 679 00:36:35,591 --> 00:36:37,194 It's all right. 680 00:36:37,294 --> 00:36:38,928 I'll be all right in a minute. 681 00:40:30,521 --> 00:40:34,191 That forecast much of the country, plenty of sunshine 682 00:40:34,291 --> 00:40:34,891 around... 683 00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:44,533 Lush patchworks of green, mesmerizing shades 684 00:40:44,632 --> 00:40:52,406 of blue, hills, dales, rivers, and streams. 685 00:40:52,506 --> 00:40:54,640 Our countryside is rich in landscapes 686 00:40:54,740 --> 00:40:56,343 just waiting to be explored. 687 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,828 Very unusual, Jamie. 688 00:42:39,929 --> 00:42:41,897 That's rather precipitous. 689 00:42:41,997 --> 00:42:43,499 Work up an amor for Jamie? 690 00:42:43,599 --> 00:42:44,165 Cheers. 691 00:42:44,266 --> 00:42:44,966 Cheers. 692 00:42:48,969 --> 00:42:51,606 So how are things with Kelly? 693 00:42:51,705 --> 00:42:53,307 Kylie. 694 00:42:53,407 --> 00:42:54,641 Not good. 695 00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:57,444 She's acting kind of elusive. 696 00:42:57,544 --> 00:42:59,145 Elusive? 697 00:42:59,245 --> 00:42:59,946 That's not good. 698 00:43:00,046 --> 00:43:00,979 I don't know what it means. 699 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,881 It means she never shows up. 700 00:43:02,981 --> 00:43:04,416 I mean it, Jamie, you deserve better. 701 00:43:04,516 --> 00:43:05,483 I wish. 702 00:43:05,584 --> 00:43:07,152 Can I give you a tip? 703 00:43:07,252 --> 00:43:08,486 Sure. 704 00:43:08,587 --> 00:43:12,889 OK, sometimes you can come across as like unreachable, 705 00:43:12,989 --> 00:43:14,190 like your clothes. 706 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:15,024 What's that about? 707 00:43:15,124 --> 00:43:16,226 I'm tired. 708 00:43:16,326 --> 00:43:17,594 This thing with my mom. 709 00:43:17,694 --> 00:43:20,996 She's having a hard time and I'm going home every weekend. 710 00:43:21,096 --> 00:43:24,566 My dad walked out on my mom, I'd kill him. 711 00:43:24,666 --> 00:43:25,833 I hadn't thought of that. 712 00:43:25,933 --> 00:43:27,469 Look, what I'm saying about Kelly... 713 00:43:27,569 --> 00:43:28,236 Kylie... 714 00:43:28,336 --> 00:43:30,705 Is... Kylie... 715 00:43:30,804 --> 00:43:35,375 maybe... maybe you just went there for her enough. 716 00:43:48,052 --> 00:43:50,388 When did you last see her? 717 00:43:50,488 --> 00:43:51,321 Sunday. 718 00:43:51,421 --> 00:43:52,556 How was she? 719 00:43:52,657 --> 00:43:53,823 Not good. 720 00:43:53,924 --> 00:43:55,992 Does she know you're meeting me? 721 00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:57,860 No, but she wanted me to see you. 722 00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,095 She has a message for you. 723 00:43:59,195 --> 00:44:00,429 Oh? 724 00:44:00,529 --> 00:44:04,432 I am to say you owe it to her to give her another chance. 725 00:44:04,532 --> 00:44:06,701 You did this out of the blue without consulting her or 726 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,936 warning her, and there it is. 727 00:44:09,036 --> 00:44:09,604 I'm sure you know. 728 00:44:09,704 --> 00:44:11,138 BS. 729 00:44:11,238 --> 00:44:13,707 She wants you to go back for a trial period, 730 00:44:13,806 --> 00:44:15,041 and if it doesn't work out... 731 00:44:15,141 --> 00:44:15,542 I can't. 732 00:44:15,643 --> 00:44:16,409 I've gone. 733 00:44:16,509 --> 00:44:17,944 I'm not coming back. 734 00:44:18,044 --> 00:44:22,214 I'll do anything I can to help, but I'm not coming back. 735 00:44:22,314 --> 00:44:23,315 I'm sorry. 736 00:44:23,415 --> 00:44:24,583 Right. 737 00:44:24,683 --> 00:44:27,852 Do you want a tea or a... 738 00:44:27,952 --> 00:44:29,186 or an ice cream? 739 00:44:29,287 --> 00:44:30,920 Fine. 740 00:44:31,021 --> 00:44:33,457 I might have a Cornetto, something 741 00:44:33,557 --> 00:44:37,594 about being by the sea. 742 00:44:37,694 --> 00:44:38,994 One of them please. 743 00:44:44,433 --> 00:44:45,467 That's two pounds. 744 00:44:45,567 --> 00:44:47,001 Two pounds? 745 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:49,637 Really? 746 00:44:49,737 --> 00:44:52,539 Thank you. 747 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,641 I hardly ever use cash these days. 748 00:44:54,741 --> 00:44:55,676 Why ever not? 749 00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:57,376 It's all contactless now. 750 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:02,847 It's all contactless now, yes. 751 00:45:02,947 --> 00:45:05,684 Well, there it is. 752 00:45:05,784 --> 00:45:07,885 Thing is I really don't know how Mom's 753 00:45:07,985 --> 00:45:10,187 going to make it through this. 754 00:45:10,287 --> 00:45:17,826 Both Angela and I think the less contact I have, 755 00:45:17,927 --> 00:45:21,798 the sooner she'll move on. 756 00:45:21,897 --> 00:45:24,666 Yes, well, of course, that doesn't mean I won't 757 00:45:24,766 --> 00:45:26,268 do everything I can to help. 758 00:45:26,368 --> 00:45:29,904 That's the part I really don't understand. 759 00:45:30,004 --> 00:45:34,675 You seem to care for her so much and now not. 760 00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:38,478 Yes, it's not easy to explain. 761 00:45:41,914 --> 00:45:43,615 There was a time, wasn't there? 762 00:45:43,716 --> 00:45:46,484 Yes, yes, of course. 763 00:45:46,584 --> 00:45:49,853 I always thought you were rather proud of her. 764 00:45:49,953 --> 00:45:55,625 She is remarkable in her way. 765 00:45:55,726 --> 00:45:59,328 I suppose I was half dazzled by her in the beginning. 766 00:45:59,428 --> 00:46:01,230 She was quite dazzling. 767 00:46:01,330 --> 00:46:05,900 You looked happy in all the old photographs. 768 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,269 You were happy. 769 00:46:09,370 --> 00:46:13,940 I suppose we were and then not. 770 00:46:16,509 --> 00:46:19,612 You know what she calls my Wiki-ing? 771 00:46:19,712 --> 00:46:21,146 Yes. 772 00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:23,749 If you make a mistake in a Wikipedia article, 773 00:46:23,850 --> 00:46:26,418 you can do what they call reverse it. 774 00:46:26,518 --> 00:46:33,323 You just click history, and then you just click undo. 775 00:46:33,423 --> 00:46:36,059 Dad. 776 00:46:36,159 --> 00:46:38,862 By the way, I should have said I've changed my phone number. 777 00:46:38,961 --> 00:46:40,362 I had to. 778 00:46:40,462 --> 00:46:41,597 Is she calling? 779 00:46:41,697 --> 00:46:42,930 Every day. 780 00:46:43,031 --> 00:46:44,233 Saying what? 781 00:46:44,333 --> 00:46:44,800 Nothing. 782 00:46:44,899 --> 00:46:46,134 She never spoke. 783 00:46:46,234 --> 00:46:47,836 I recognize the sound of her breathing. 784 00:46:47,935 --> 00:46:49,404 You recognize... 785 00:46:54,174 --> 00:46:56,443 I'll give you the new number if you... 786 00:46:56,543 --> 00:46:58,210 Just text me, Dad. 787 00:46:58,310 --> 00:46:59,979 OK. 788 00:47:00,079 --> 00:47:01,647 You won't... 789 00:47:01,747 --> 00:47:03,181 No. 790 00:47:03,281 --> 00:47:04,182 Fine. 791 00:47:07,552 --> 00:47:08,853 I should be getting... 792 00:47:08,952 --> 00:47:09,888 going. 793 00:47:09,987 --> 00:47:12,656 She'll be waiting for me so... 794 00:47:12,756 --> 00:47:16,159 Well then keep in touch. 795 00:47:45,484 --> 00:47:46,384 Mom? 796 00:47:49,887 --> 00:47:52,556 How long have you been sitting here? 797 00:47:52,657 --> 00:47:54,024 I have no idea. 798 00:47:59,662 --> 00:48:01,464 Just like Edward. 799 00:48:01,564 --> 00:48:02,498 What? 800 00:48:02,598 --> 00:48:05,166 Making tea so you don't have to talk. 801 00:48:05,266 --> 00:48:09,102 We get our tea, and then we talk. 802 00:48:09,203 --> 00:48:10,537 You've seen him. 803 00:48:13,073 --> 00:48:14,475 Alone or with her? 804 00:48:17,610 --> 00:48:19,378 Just him. 805 00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:20,580 I never met her. 806 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:21,980 I'd have told you. 807 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,349 Did you give him my message? 808 00:48:24,449 --> 00:48:26,150 Yes. 809 00:48:26,251 --> 00:48:27,284 Says he can't come back. 810 00:48:27,384 --> 00:48:27,752 Won't. 811 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,863 What's this? 812 00:48:39,963 --> 00:48:42,664 What does it look like? 813 00:48:42,764 --> 00:48:44,131 And in the knife drawer. 814 00:48:44,233 --> 00:48:47,034 And on the phone message pad. 815 00:48:47,134 --> 00:48:50,505 And... and in the pocket of his coat. 816 00:48:50,605 --> 00:48:52,239 What for? 817 00:48:52,339 --> 00:48:57,444 I don't know I suppose because while I was writing 818 00:48:57,544 --> 00:48:59,512 them and hiding them in all the places 819 00:48:59,612 --> 00:49:02,348 where he might find them, it made me 820 00:49:02,448 --> 00:49:04,382 think it really could happen. 821 00:49:10,254 --> 00:49:11,688 He really would come back. 822 00:49:24,766 --> 00:49:33,507 And then when he found them, he couldn't go away again. 823 00:49:42,281 --> 00:49:43,815 So he told you he won't. 824 00:49:43,916 --> 00:49:45,617 Yes. 825 00:49:45,717 --> 00:49:47,685 What did you say to that? 826 00:49:47,785 --> 00:49:50,321 Well, what could I say? 827 00:49:50,421 --> 00:49:52,188 You could say you bastard, you 828 00:49:52,289 --> 00:49:53,858 murderer, you home wrecker. 829 00:49:53,958 --> 00:49:54,591 Well, I didn't. 830 00:49:54,691 --> 00:49:56,726 Why not? 831 00:49:56,826 --> 00:49:59,128 Do you think he's entitled to do what he's doing? 832 00:49:59,228 --> 00:50:00,996 That's not for me to judge. 833 00:50:01,096 --> 00:50:02,531 Why not? 834 00:50:02,631 --> 00:50:05,300 If you saw a man beating a woman to death in the street, 835 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,168 would you walk on by, say that's not for me to judge? 836 00:50:08,269 --> 00:50:09,136 That's not how it is. 837 00:50:09,236 --> 00:50:11,238 This is a murder, Jamie. 838 00:50:11,338 --> 00:50:15,008 Just because there's no blood, don't think it's not a murder. 839 00:50:15,107 --> 00:50:17,243 He's murdering a marriage. 840 00:50:17,343 --> 00:50:20,346 Marriages don't bleed, but it's still murder. 841 00:50:20,446 --> 00:50:22,213 I don't think it helps to talk like that. 842 00:50:22,314 --> 00:50:26,083 Tell me how to talk so it does help. 843 00:50:26,183 --> 00:50:27,852 Marriages break down. 844 00:50:27,953 --> 00:50:29,086 It happens all the time. 845 00:50:29,186 --> 00:50:30,154 Nobody wants it to happen but it does, 846 00:50:30,254 --> 00:50:31,188 and we have to live with it. 847 00:50:31,288 --> 00:50:33,089 Oh, what sort of talk is that? 848 00:50:33,189 --> 00:50:35,458 Children are starving to death all the time, 849 00:50:35,558 --> 00:50:36,926 but it doesn't make it all right. 850 00:50:37,026 --> 00:50:37,827 But we live with it. 851 00:50:37,927 --> 00:50:39,629 Not if it was my child. 852 00:50:39,729 --> 00:50:42,564 Not if it was you. 853 00:50:42,664 --> 00:50:45,199 If it was you starving to death, I'd let 854 00:50:45,299 --> 00:50:47,201 myself die first to save you. 855 00:50:47,301 --> 00:50:48,603 Do you doubt that? 856 00:50:48,703 --> 00:50:49,971 No. 857 00:50:50,071 --> 00:50:54,708 Well, this is my marriage, and I'll do anything to save it. 858 00:50:54,808 --> 00:50:56,242 And I'm asking you to help me. 859 00:51:00,379 --> 00:51:01,213 It's what he does. 860 00:51:01,313 --> 00:51:03,015 He won't look at me. 861 00:51:03,114 --> 00:51:05,183 I'm not him, Mom, all right. 862 00:51:05,283 --> 00:51:10,054 Well, you're walking away just like he did. 863 00:51:10,153 --> 00:51:13,223 He actually walked away. 864 00:51:13,323 --> 00:51:17,460 Trot, trot, trot down the road. 865 00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,662 Stupid suitcase. 866 00:51:19,762 --> 00:51:21,129 Have you got a suitcase? 867 00:51:21,229 --> 00:51:22,397 I'm here, aren't I? 868 00:51:22,497 --> 00:51:25,667 But you want to walk away. 869 00:51:25,767 --> 00:51:27,636 You do, don't you? 870 00:51:27,736 --> 00:51:28,637 I can't. 871 00:51:28,737 --> 00:51:30,237 Why not? 872 00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:33,841 'Case something happens to me, you feel guilty? 873 00:51:33,941 --> 00:51:35,308 Nothing's going to happen to me. 874 00:51:35,408 --> 00:51:37,443 That's what I can't bear. 875 00:51:37,543 --> 00:51:40,145 When you're alone, things stop happening. 876 00:51:40,245 --> 00:51:41,948 That's because you stay in. 877 00:51:42,048 --> 00:51:43,015 I wish you wouldn't. 878 00:51:43,116 --> 00:51:45,316 I should go out more, should I? 879 00:51:45,416 --> 00:51:47,218 Join a book group. 880 00:51:47,318 --> 00:51:49,087 It beats sitting on the stairs. 881 00:51:49,186 --> 00:51:50,220 What was that about? 882 00:51:50,321 --> 00:51:52,555 I was going up or coming down. 883 00:51:52,657 --> 00:51:54,791 I don't remember. 884 00:51:54,891 --> 00:51:57,794 I just thought what difference does it make. 885 00:51:57,894 --> 00:52:00,030 I might as well just stop here. 886 00:52:00,130 --> 00:52:01,563 Where you can see the door? 887 00:52:05,299 --> 00:52:07,735 Yeah, it's rather clever of you, Jamie. 888 00:52:10,638 --> 00:52:13,607 Is that why you don't go out? 889 00:52:13,707 --> 00:52:17,176 Because you think maybe he'll walk back through that door? 890 00:52:20,012 --> 00:52:21,580 He might. 891 00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:22,447 Mom. 892 00:52:29,620 --> 00:52:30,287 Come on. 893 00:52:30,387 --> 00:52:32,990 Let's get you out of here. 894 00:52:36,759 --> 00:52:40,495 He told me he's decided you can have the house. 895 00:52:40,595 --> 00:52:43,632 Oh, has he. 896 00:52:43,732 --> 00:52:46,068 I suppose he thinks that makes everything all right. 897 00:52:46,168 --> 00:52:48,235 Think he really wants to do what he can. 898 00:52:48,335 --> 00:52:50,738 So he told you I could have the house. 899 00:52:50,838 --> 00:52:51,505 Yes. 900 00:52:51,605 --> 00:52:53,074 Well, he hasn't told me. 901 00:52:53,174 --> 00:52:54,207 He wanted me to tell you. 902 00:52:54,307 --> 00:52:57,209 I don't care what he wanted. 903 00:52:57,309 --> 00:52:59,311 If he wants to make arrangements that affect me, 904 00:52:59,411 --> 00:53:01,647 he can come and talk to me himself. 905 00:53:01,747 --> 00:53:04,983 I won't have him using you as a messenger boy. 906 00:53:05,084 --> 00:53:08,920 Can't stand the way he does all this without consulting me. 907 00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:10,353 Why isn't it working? 908 00:53:10,454 --> 00:53:12,222 He's changed his number. 909 00:53:12,322 --> 00:53:13,924 He's changed his number. 910 00:53:14,024 --> 00:53:14,958 He told me. 911 00:53:15,058 --> 00:53:15,992 So he's got a new number. 912 00:53:16,093 --> 00:53:16,827 Yes. 913 00:53:16,927 --> 00:53:18,061 Have you got it? 914 00:53:18,161 --> 00:53:19,962 No. 915 00:53:20,062 --> 00:53:21,296 Don't be silly, Jamie. 916 00:53:21,396 --> 00:53:22,665 Of course, you have. 917 00:53:22,765 --> 00:53:24,232 I could always tell when you were lying. 918 00:53:24,332 --> 00:53:25,800 I can't give it to you. 919 00:53:25,900 --> 00:53:27,035 Why not? 920 00:53:27,135 --> 00:53:28,703 He asked me not to give it to you. 921 00:53:28,803 --> 00:53:30,504 Well, I ask you to give it to me. 922 00:53:30,604 --> 00:53:31,972 I'm not going to, all right. 923 00:53:32,072 --> 00:53:34,108 I don't see why you always have to get your own way. 924 00:53:34,208 --> 00:53:35,175 Get my own way? 925 00:53:35,274 --> 00:53:37,276 You think I get my own way? 926 00:53:37,376 --> 00:53:39,679 I think it'd be a bad idea to give you his number. 927 00:53:39,779 --> 00:53:42,181 Well, that's not for you to judge 928 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,116 as you're so fond of saying. 929 00:53:44,216 --> 00:53:45,150 I'm grown up. 930 00:53:45,249 --> 00:53:46,818 I'm not a criminal or a lunatic. 931 00:53:46,918 --> 00:53:48,953 I wish to be able to contact my husband. 932 00:53:49,054 --> 00:53:50,588 No. 933 00:53:50,688 --> 00:53:52,957 I think you'd better go. 934 00:53:53,057 --> 00:53:53,823 Go on, leave. 935 00:53:53,924 --> 00:53:55,092 It's what you want. 936 00:53:55,192 --> 00:53:57,794 You can't help, so why don't you just go? 937 00:53:57,894 --> 00:53:58,728 You're no use to me. 938 00:53:58,828 --> 00:54:00,362 You've taken his side. 939 00:54:00,462 --> 00:54:02,197 You've left me already just like he has. 940 00:54:02,297 --> 00:54:04,365 Well, if I'm to be alone, I'd rather 941 00:54:04,465 --> 00:54:06,968 be alone and not have you dangling about pitying me 942 00:54:07,069 --> 00:54:07,902 and patronizing me. 943 00:54:08,002 --> 00:54:08,770 Go on leave. 944 00:54:08,870 --> 00:54:09,302 Why do you do this? 945 00:54:09,402 --> 00:54:10,337 Do what? 946 00:54:10,437 --> 00:54:11,404 I've not done anything. 947 00:54:11,505 --> 00:54:12,272 I've not left him. 948 00:54:12,372 --> 00:54:13,306 He's left me. 949 00:54:13,406 --> 00:54:14,274 Go and tell him not to do this. 950 00:54:14,374 --> 00:54:15,307 I can't bring him back. 951 00:54:15,407 --> 00:54:17,043 You don't know that. 952 00:54:17,144 --> 00:54:19,112 Have you tried? 953 00:54:19,212 --> 00:54:20,546 You go on seeing him. 954 00:54:20,646 --> 00:54:22,280 That means you let him think he has your approval. 955 00:54:22,380 --> 00:54:23,581 Mom, he's in love! 956 00:56:10,771 --> 00:56:13,607 What you need is a sugar high. 957 00:56:22,014 --> 00:56:24,382 There, life flooding back? 958 00:56:24,482 --> 00:56:27,318 I should feed one of these to my mom. 959 00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:30,687 She still in a bad way? 960 00:56:30,787 --> 00:56:34,624 It's bad what your dad did. 961 00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:36,792 Oh, he... he wasn't happy. 962 00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:38,262 I knew that. 963 00:56:38,362 --> 00:56:40,296 They must have loved each other once? 964 00:56:40,395 --> 00:56:42,464 Yeah, way back. 965 00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:50,871 We used... we used to do this thing when I was little where 966 00:56:50,971 --> 00:56:54,641 we'd stand in a line, and I'd be in the middle 967 00:56:54,741 --> 00:56:59,678 and then my mom would hold one my dad would hold the other... 968 00:56:59,778 --> 00:57:01,747 and they'd swing me between them. 969 00:57:06,184 --> 00:57:09,720 All moms and dads do it. 970 00:57:09,820 --> 00:57:14,658 Their kids, they just swing... swing me along between them. 971 00:57:14,758 --> 00:57:15,325 Sorry. 972 00:57:15,424 --> 00:57:16,993 Jamie. 973 00:57:17,093 --> 00:57:18,028 You know me. 974 00:57:18,128 --> 00:57:19,362 If I cry, I'm crying for myself. 975 00:57:19,461 --> 00:57:20,829 I just didn't care enough about anyone else. 976 00:57:20,930 --> 00:57:22,131 That's not true. 977 00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:23,765 You got me at Krispy Kreme. 978 00:57:23,866 --> 00:57:25,533 So what's up? 979 00:57:25,633 --> 00:57:27,068 Is this about me? 980 00:57:27,168 --> 00:57:28,269 I'm not the one who's crying. 981 00:57:28,369 --> 00:57:30,470 I'm not the one who's been left. 982 00:57:30,570 --> 00:57:31,505 Aren't you? 983 00:57:34,408 --> 00:57:36,310 OK, OK. 984 00:57:36,410 --> 00:57:39,445 Still seeing your mom every weekend? 985 00:57:39,545 --> 00:57:41,380 Until she can cope on her own. 986 00:57:41,479 --> 00:57:44,482 When do you stop going? 987 00:57:44,582 --> 00:57:46,184 Not so often anyway. 988 00:57:46,284 --> 00:57:49,920 How is she going to feel then? 989 00:57:50,020 --> 00:57:52,522 Not great. 990 00:57:52,622 --> 00:57:55,024 How are you going to feel then? 991 00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:56,859 Me? 992 00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,728 Jess thinks you're still holding on. 993 00:58:02,831 --> 00:58:03,699 Am I? 994 00:58:41,763 --> 00:58:45,934 It's some papers I'm supposed to sign. 995 00:58:46,034 --> 00:58:47,402 I don't know what. 996 00:58:47,501 --> 00:58:50,537 Jamie, I'm not going to do it. 997 00:58:53,207 --> 00:58:55,775 No... he can ask me himself. 998 00:58:55,875 --> 00:59:00,346 He can come here, and we'll sign together. 999 00:59:00,446 --> 00:59:02,348 Yes, I'm coping. 1000 00:59:02,448 --> 00:59:03,148 Sunday then. 1001 00:59:17,927 --> 00:59:21,897 30 years ago, I was standing on a platform 1002 00:59:21,997 --> 00:59:26,268 in Charing Cross Station waiting to get on a train to Tunbridge. 1003 00:59:26,368 --> 00:59:30,171 And I saw a man walking down the platform who I thought 1004 00:59:30,271 --> 00:59:31,439 was my father. 1005 00:59:31,538 --> 00:59:34,540 And I raised my arm and called, father. 1006 00:59:34,641 --> 00:59:37,077 And with my arm still in the air, 1007 00:59:37,177 --> 00:59:40,980 I remembered that my father had died four months earlier. 1008 00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:46,684 The man, a complete stranger, walked on by. 1009 00:59:46,785 --> 00:59:48,952 The train came in. 1010 00:59:49,054 --> 00:59:52,656 I got into a carriage, and the train left Charing Cross. 1011 00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:56,726 The other person in the carriage was a young woman. 1012 00:59:56,826 --> 01:00:01,464 She was looking at me as if she was sorry for me. 1013 01:00:01,563 --> 01:00:04,199 I realized I had tears on my cheeks. 1014 01:00:04,299 --> 01:00:06,667 What is it she said. 1015 01:00:06,767 --> 01:00:07,968 Oh, nothing I said. 1016 01:00:08,069 --> 01:00:10,871 I mistook a man for my father who's dead. 1017 01:00:10,971 --> 01:00:17,177 And she said you must want to see him again very much. 1018 01:00:17,277 --> 01:00:18,777 My father was a reserved man. 1019 01:00:18,877 --> 01:00:23,048 I don't remember him ever embracing me. 1020 01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:26,485 Somehow when this young woman said these words to me, 1021 01:00:26,584 --> 01:00:31,055 I knew that all my life I'd wanted his embrace 1022 01:00:31,155 --> 01:00:34,991 and that now it would never come. 1023 01:00:35,092 --> 01:00:40,796 I began to weep, continued weeping I should say. 1024 01:00:40,896 --> 01:00:43,665 And the young woman recited some lines 1025 01:00:43,765 --> 01:00:50,037 from a poem I'd never heard and never forgotten since. 1026 01:00:50,137 --> 01:00:51,573 Stay for me there. 1027 01:00:51,672 --> 01:00:56,243 I will not fail to meet thee in that hollow veil. 1028 01:00:56,343 --> 01:00:58,678 And think not much of my delay. 1029 01:00:58,778 --> 01:01:01,947 I am already on the way. 1030 01:01:02,047 --> 01:01:05,250 It's by Henri King on the death of his wife. 1031 01:01:07,885 --> 01:01:10,387 How did that young woman in the train know what I was feeling? 1032 01:01:13,857 --> 01:01:15,559 It was your mother. 1033 01:01:15,658 --> 01:01:18,961 Of course, it was Grace. 1034 01:01:19,062 --> 01:01:20,296 And I was on the wrong train. 1035 01:01:20,396 --> 01:01:21,330 It was the fast train. 1036 01:01:21,431 --> 01:01:22,664 It never stopped at my station. 1037 01:01:22,764 --> 01:01:24,866 We were halfway to Dover before I realized it. 1038 01:01:27,335 --> 01:01:32,873 The truth is I made a mistake about Grace right 1039 01:01:32,973 --> 01:01:35,041 at the beginning, and she made a mistake about me. 1040 01:01:35,142 --> 01:01:38,777 We thought we were like each other, and we weren't. 1041 01:01:38,878 --> 01:01:40,079 I didn't know it. 1042 01:01:40,179 --> 01:01:42,181 I did my best to be who she wanted me to be, 1043 01:01:42,281 --> 01:01:44,048 but I didn't know who I was myself. 1044 01:01:48,852 --> 01:01:55,626 All it took was Angela's hand on my arm, her touch. 1045 01:01:55,725 --> 01:01:57,693 It was me she touched. 1046 01:02:01,531 --> 01:02:08,436 No demands, no expectations, just love. 1047 01:02:12,306 --> 01:02:17,377 All those years ago, I got on the wrong train. 1048 01:02:23,882 --> 01:02:25,783 I've always liked your flat. 1049 01:02:25,883 --> 01:02:27,218 Does it still suit you? 1050 01:02:27,318 --> 01:02:28,352 It does the job? 1051 01:02:35,458 --> 01:02:39,862 Why do people have to have such big houses? 1052 01:02:39,962 --> 01:02:41,997 One needs so little really. 1053 01:02:47,768 --> 01:02:49,903 Mom says you want her to sign something. 1054 01:02:50,003 --> 01:02:50,938 Yes. 1055 01:02:51,038 --> 01:02:53,706 It is better to have things sorted out. 1056 01:02:53,806 --> 01:02:55,175 She wants to do it with you. 1057 01:02:55,275 --> 01:02:57,176 She says you'll sign the papers if you do it together. 1058 01:02:57,276 --> 01:03:00,446 She wants to make a scene, but I won't be drawn in, Jamie. 1059 01:03:00,546 --> 01:03:01,514 There's no point. 1060 01:03:01,614 --> 01:03:02,847 She says she'll behave herself. 1061 01:03:02,948 --> 01:03:05,550 If she wants us to sign together, 1062 01:03:05,650 --> 01:03:07,352 it had better be the solicitor's office. 1063 01:03:07,452 --> 01:03:08,719 But it's the last time. 1064 01:03:08,819 --> 01:03:14,258 Tell her if you can. 1065 01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:15,792 The last time. 1066 01:03:20,829 --> 01:03:22,331 Come on, puppy. 1067 01:03:41,046 --> 01:03:46,317 They shall grow not old as we that are left gold. 1068 01:03:46,417 --> 01:03:50,688 I shall not wear them nor the years come down. 1069 01:03:50,787 --> 01:03:54,991 After going down on the sun and in the morning, 1070 01:03:55,092 --> 01:03:56,693 we will remember them. 1071 01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:59,295 We will remember them. 1072 01:04:37,127 --> 01:04:38,595 Oh, hello, Jamie. 1073 01:04:38,695 --> 01:04:39,261 You've come. 1074 01:04:39,361 --> 01:04:40,496 Hello. 1075 01:04:40,596 --> 01:04:42,298 Who are you? 1076 01:04:42,398 --> 01:04:43,998 Isn't he adorable. 1077 01:04:44,098 --> 01:04:45,366 He's so affectionate. 1078 01:04:45,467 --> 01:04:48,569 Oh, he does me more good than all my tranquilizers. 1079 01:04:48,670 --> 01:04:49,604 What's his name? 1080 01:04:49,704 --> 01:04:51,104 Eddie. 1081 01:04:51,204 --> 01:04:51,739 Eddie. 1082 01:04:51,872 --> 01:04:52,806 Come here, Eddie. 1083 01:04:52,906 --> 01:04:53,940 Come here, boy. 1084 01:04:54,041 --> 01:04:55,642 Mother, you can't call him Eddie. 1085 01:04:55,742 --> 01:04:57,444 Why not? 1086 01:04:57,544 --> 01:04:58,645 His name is Edward. 1087 01:04:58,745 --> 01:05:01,147 Just... well, it's such a give away. 1088 01:05:01,247 --> 01:05:02,981 What does it give away? 1089 01:05:03,081 --> 01:05:04,549 Look, I'm training him. 1090 01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:06,451 Look. 1091 01:05:06,551 --> 01:05:08,653 Stay, Edward. 1092 01:05:08,753 --> 01:05:09,654 Stay. 1093 01:05:09,754 --> 01:05:10,689 Mom, it's so embarrassing. 1094 01:05:10,789 --> 01:05:12,989 Oh, good boy. 1095 01:05:13,090 --> 01:05:13,657 Why? 1096 01:05:13,757 --> 01:05:15,191 I'm not embarrassed. 1097 01:05:15,291 --> 01:05:17,393 Why should you be embarrassed? 1098 01:05:22,064 --> 01:05:24,633 Have you gone back to your anthology? 1099 01:05:24,733 --> 01:05:26,033 Oh, no. 1100 01:05:26,133 --> 01:05:28,235 I'm not doing that anymore. 1101 01:05:28,336 --> 01:05:29,070 That's a pity. 1102 01:05:29,170 --> 01:05:30,738 Thought it sounded good. 1103 01:05:30,837 --> 01:05:32,005 No, you didn't. 1104 01:05:32,105 --> 01:05:33,239 You thought it gave me something to do. 1105 01:05:33,340 --> 01:05:35,141 Well, we all need something to do. 1106 01:05:35,241 --> 01:05:38,278 There's no disgrace in that. 1107 01:05:38,378 --> 01:05:39,579 So how are you? 1108 01:05:39,679 --> 01:05:41,180 How's your love life? 1109 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:42,114 Private. 1110 01:05:42,214 --> 01:05:46,918 Uh, so you're still on your own. 1111 01:05:47,018 --> 01:05:49,821 Lunch is going to be very basic. 1112 01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:51,823 Wonder why. 1113 01:05:51,922 --> 01:05:53,423 Why you haven't found anyone. 1114 01:05:53,523 --> 01:05:54,524 You look perfectly normal. 1115 01:05:54,624 --> 01:05:55,726 This isn't about me. 1116 01:05:55,826 --> 01:05:57,893 Yes, it is. 1117 01:05:57,993 --> 01:05:59,228 If you're no good at making people 1118 01:05:59,328 --> 01:06:00,929 love you, that's my fault, isn't it? 1119 01:06:01,030 --> 01:06:03,833 Or Edward's fault for being such a sneaking sniveling 1120 01:06:03,932 --> 01:06:04,933 excuse for a man. 1121 01:06:05,033 --> 01:06:06,835 I wish you wouldn't do that. 1122 01:06:06,934 --> 01:06:08,869 I wish he wouldn't do that. 1123 01:06:08,969 --> 01:06:11,138 Maybe I should take some of this post to Dad. 1124 01:06:11,238 --> 01:06:12,506 It looks quite important. 1125 01:06:12,606 --> 01:06:16,376 If he wants them, he can come and get them. 1126 01:06:16,476 --> 01:06:19,178 It was Remembrance Day service today. 1127 01:06:19,278 --> 01:06:22,648 It was very moving, you know. 1128 01:06:22,749 --> 01:06:26,083 I found myself thinking about the two wars and the wives 1129 01:06:26,183 --> 01:06:28,919 and the mothers waiting at home and the telegrams 1130 01:06:29,019 --> 01:06:31,655 from the war office telling them that their husbands 1131 01:06:31,756 --> 01:06:34,924 and sons were dead. 1132 01:06:35,024 --> 01:06:39,161 I thought how terrible that must have been. 1133 01:06:39,261 --> 01:06:44,666 And yet it was somehow easier to bear than losing Edward the way 1134 01:06:44,767 --> 01:06:45,868 I've lost him. 1135 01:06:45,967 --> 01:06:48,870 And then all at once I saw it. 1136 01:06:48,969 --> 01:06:50,638 This is our war. 1137 01:06:50,738 --> 01:06:54,474 This is what makes widows and orphans nowadays. 1138 01:06:54,574 --> 01:06:59,645 Only there aren't any graves or Remembrance Day services. 1139 01:06:59,745 --> 01:07:02,314 We're not allowed to mourn. 1140 01:07:02,415 --> 01:07:04,884 So you see I'm not really coping after all. 1141 01:07:09,052 --> 01:07:09,788 Come on, Eddie. 1142 01:07:09,888 --> 01:07:10,554 Come on. 1143 01:07:10,655 --> 01:07:11,822 Let's go, Eddie. 1144 01:07:11,922 --> 01:07:13,757 Come on. 1145 01:07:13,857 --> 01:07:16,225 There it is. 1146 01:07:16,325 --> 01:07:18,661 Good boy. 1147 01:07:18,761 --> 01:07:19,362 Boy. 1148 01:07:19,462 --> 01:07:19,829 Let's go. 1149 01:07:19,928 --> 01:07:20,530 Come on. 1150 01:07:24,266 --> 01:07:26,768 Mrs. Axton, Mr. Whitacomb's expecting you. 1151 01:07:26,868 --> 01:07:28,536 Has my father arrived? 1152 01:07:28,637 --> 01:07:29,537 Not yet. 1153 01:07:29,637 --> 01:07:30,937 I'll take you through. 1154 01:07:31,038 --> 01:07:32,640 We don't allow dogs in the office. 1155 01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:33,474 I'm so sorry. 1156 01:07:33,574 --> 01:07:34,507 How sorry? 1157 01:07:34,607 --> 01:07:35,275 I'm sorry? 1158 01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,376 My goodness. 1159 01:07:36,476 --> 01:07:37,444 You are sorry. 1160 01:07:37,544 --> 01:07:38,678 Never mind. 1161 01:07:38,778 --> 01:07:40,078 It'll pass. 1162 01:07:40,179 --> 01:07:41,580 If you'd like to follow me. 1163 01:07:45,983 --> 01:07:48,586 Thank you for coming in. 1164 01:07:48,686 --> 01:07:50,855 Oh, I'm... I'm Peter Whitacomb. 1165 01:07:50,954 --> 01:07:52,989 I'm acting for your husband in this matter. 1166 01:07:53,089 --> 01:07:55,926 Mr. Axton wishes everything to be done properly. 1167 01:07:56,025 --> 01:07:57,226 Do take a seat. 1168 01:07:57,326 --> 01:07:59,028 You may be able to do everything legally, 1169 01:07:59,128 --> 01:08:00,763 but I don't see how you can do it properly. 1170 01:08:00,863 --> 01:08:02,364 Mom, you promised. 1171 01:08:02,465 --> 01:08:03,131 All right. 1172 01:08:03,231 --> 01:08:05,033 I'll behave myself. 1173 01:08:05,133 --> 01:08:06,301 I'm so sorry. 1174 01:08:06,401 --> 01:08:06,868 Am I late. 1175 01:08:06,967 --> 01:08:08,068 Oh, who's this? 1176 01:08:08,168 --> 01:08:09,369 Come, Edward. 1177 01:08:09,471 --> 01:08:09,838 What? 1178 01:08:09,938 --> 01:08:11,171 Not you. 1179 01:08:11,271 --> 01:08:11,638 Come. 1180 01:08:11,738 --> 01:08:12,406 Come here. 1181 01:08:12,506 --> 01:08:12,940 Come here, boy. 1182 01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:14,308 Good boy. 1183 01:08:14,408 --> 01:08:14,842 Good boy. 1184 01:08:14,942 --> 01:08:15,742 Sit. 1185 01:08:15,843 --> 01:08:16,609 Good boy. 1186 01:08:16,710 --> 01:08:17,577 Sit. 1187 01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:19,010 Good boy. 1188 01:08:19,111 --> 01:08:20,513 Hello, I'm here, too. 1189 01:08:20,613 --> 01:08:21,581 Hello, hello, hello. 1190 01:08:21,681 --> 01:08:22,414 How are you, Grace? 1191 01:08:22,514 --> 01:08:24,082 Fine, fine, fine. 1192 01:08:24,182 --> 01:08:25,517 Thank you for this, Peter. 1193 01:08:25,617 --> 01:08:27,017 Shall we proceed. 1194 01:08:27,117 --> 01:08:28,352 By all means. 1195 01:08:28,452 --> 01:08:31,622 This is the summary of the financial agreement. 1196 01:08:31,722 --> 01:08:35,058 This is the deed signing over the house into your sole name, 1197 01:08:35,158 --> 01:08:36,259 Mrs. Axton. 1198 01:08:36,359 --> 01:08:38,261 This is the application for the decree. 1199 01:08:38,361 --> 01:08:42,865 All you have to do is sign by the yellow tags. 1200 01:08:42,965 --> 01:08:44,233 Hah. 1201 01:08:44,333 --> 01:08:46,334 What happens if I don't? 1202 01:08:46,434 --> 01:08:50,471 Then this agreement is set aside, and we start again. 1203 01:08:50,571 --> 01:08:52,305 But I have to see in your interest 1204 01:08:52,405 --> 01:08:54,708 that this is a very good settlement. 1205 01:08:54,808 --> 01:08:56,643 No court would give half as much. 1206 01:08:56,743 --> 01:08:59,378 You get the entire value of the family home. 1207 01:08:59,478 --> 01:08:59,880 Stop it. 1208 01:08:59,980 --> 01:09:01,447 Mom. 1209 01:09:01,547 --> 01:09:03,616 How can he sit there and say that I get the entire value 1210 01:09:03,716 --> 01:09:07,352 of the family home when the entire value of the family home 1211 01:09:07,452 --> 01:09:09,587 is precisely what's being taken from me. 1212 01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:10,722 I knew this wouldn't work. 1213 01:09:10,822 --> 01:09:11,622 Yes, it will. 1214 01:09:11,722 --> 01:09:13,190 I'm being business like. 1215 01:09:13,290 --> 01:09:18,594 No more references to sneaking two-faced marital treachery. 1216 01:09:18,694 --> 01:09:21,531 So this settlement you and Edward come up with, 1217 01:09:21,631 --> 01:09:23,866 do I get more than I'd get if he died? 1218 01:09:23,966 --> 01:09:24,833 If he died? 1219 01:09:24,933 --> 01:09:26,001 Yes. 1220 01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:27,836 Well, no. 1221 01:09:27,936 --> 01:09:29,303 As things stand, if your husband died, 1222 01:09:29,403 --> 01:09:32,038 you'd get the house, your joint savings, 1223 01:09:32,138 --> 01:09:34,374 and a full widow's pension. 1224 01:09:34,474 --> 01:09:38,278 And if we get a divorce, I get less? 1225 01:09:38,378 --> 01:09:39,411 Yes. 1226 01:09:39,512 --> 01:09:42,414 So it would be better for me if you were dead? 1227 01:09:42,514 --> 01:09:43,448 But I'm not. 1228 01:09:43,549 --> 01:09:45,484 It would be better in every way. 1229 01:09:45,584 --> 01:09:48,553 If I have to manage without you, I'd... 1230 01:09:48,653 --> 01:09:50,120 I'd rather be a widow. 1231 01:09:50,220 --> 01:09:53,991 A widow has so much more status than a left woman. 1232 01:09:54,090 --> 01:09:55,892 I could put flowers on your grave 1233 01:09:55,992 --> 01:09:58,260 and remember all the good times we had 1234 01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:02,031 and look forward to seeing you again in heaven. 1235 01:10:02,130 --> 01:10:04,465 Reunited as they put on the gravestones. 1236 01:10:04,566 --> 01:10:07,602 Only as things stand, there's no grave. 1237 01:10:07,702 --> 01:10:10,237 You've poisoned all my memories, and when we meet again 1238 01:10:10,337 --> 01:10:12,639 in the next world, they'll be bloody Angela 1239 01:10:12,739 --> 01:10:13,473 clogging the place out. 1240 01:10:13,574 --> 01:10:14,308 Angela was right. 1241 01:10:14,408 --> 01:10:15,274 I shouldn't have agreed to this. 1242 01:10:15,374 --> 01:10:17,577 Sit. 1243 01:10:17,677 --> 01:10:18,544 Fuck Angela. 1244 01:10:23,782 --> 01:10:24,950 Sorry, Mr. Whitacomb. 1245 01:10:25,051 --> 01:10:27,418 He makes me do these things. 1246 01:10:27,519 --> 01:10:29,119 It's the way he walks away. 1247 01:10:29,219 --> 01:10:30,521 It drives me mad. 1248 01:10:30,621 --> 01:10:32,121 Is there any point going on with this? 1249 01:10:32,221 --> 01:10:33,289 Is there any point? 1250 01:10:33,389 --> 01:10:36,459 Yes, there's a point. 1251 01:10:36,559 --> 01:10:38,428 Look at Jamie. 1252 01:10:38,528 --> 01:10:40,295 He's our son. 1253 01:10:40,395 --> 01:10:41,763 He's part you and part me. 1254 01:10:41,864 --> 01:10:43,332 We made him. 1255 01:10:43,432 --> 01:10:46,635 We joined together, and we made him. 1256 01:10:46,735 --> 01:10:48,803 Now you know as well as I do that the church 1257 01:10:48,903 --> 01:10:50,571 says marriage is a bond. 1258 01:10:50,671 --> 01:10:55,875 It cannot be dissolved, and that's why it makes people. 1259 01:10:55,976 --> 01:10:58,812 You can get lawyers to put whatever you want on paper, 1260 01:10:58,912 --> 01:11:01,447 but you're still my husband and Jamie's father. 1261 01:11:01,547 --> 01:11:03,816 And you will be until the day you die. 1262 01:11:03,916 --> 01:11:04,984 I know your view. 1263 01:11:05,084 --> 01:11:06,618 This isn't a view. 1264 01:11:06,718 --> 01:11:07,385 This is how it is. 1265 01:11:07,485 --> 01:11:08,386 For you. 1266 01:11:08,486 --> 01:11:11,889 No, not just for me, for everybody. 1267 01:11:11,990 --> 01:11:13,523 You can't invent a private reality. 1268 01:11:13,624 --> 01:11:14,524 Nor can you. 1269 01:11:14,625 --> 01:11:16,093 Mine isn't a private reality. 1270 01:11:16,192 --> 01:11:17,560 Well, then nor is mine. 1271 01:11:17,660 --> 01:11:19,195 Yes, it is. 1272 01:11:19,295 --> 01:11:20,195 Isn't it, Jamie? 1273 01:11:20,296 --> 01:11:21,396 Don't ask me to take sides. 1274 01:11:21,497 --> 01:11:23,032 Don't ask you to take sides 1275 01:11:23,131 --> 01:11:24,633 between reality and madness? 1276 01:11:24,733 --> 01:11:27,969 That's what it is, deciding when you're married when you're not 1277 01:11:28,069 --> 01:11:29,370 whenever it happens to suit you. 1278 01:11:29,470 --> 01:11:31,005 It's madness and chaos. 1279 01:11:31,106 --> 01:11:33,073 If you're not going to sign the papers, 1280 01:11:33,172 --> 01:11:34,407 I might as well leave. 1281 01:11:34,507 --> 01:11:36,542 I'm sorry about this, Peter. 1282 01:11:36,643 --> 01:11:39,612 Everybody keeps saying they're sorry, but none of you 1283 01:11:39,712 --> 01:11:40,445 are sorry, not one bit. 1284 01:11:40,545 --> 01:11:41,680 Mom, you're making a mistake. 1285 01:11:41,780 --> 01:11:43,315 Am I, darling? 1286 01:11:43,415 --> 01:11:44,549 Tell me what I should do? 1287 01:11:44,650 --> 01:11:46,450 I think you should sign the papers. 1288 01:11:46,550 --> 01:11:49,087 You still don't see it do you? 1289 01:11:49,186 --> 01:11:51,656 No one sees it. 1290 01:11:51,756 --> 01:11:57,192 Maybe I... maybe I do live in my own private reality. 1291 01:11:57,292 --> 01:12:00,030 I don't care about any of this. 1292 01:12:00,130 --> 01:12:03,032 I don't care about money. 1293 01:12:03,132 --> 01:12:06,334 It's really very simple. 1294 01:12:06,434 --> 01:12:10,638 I... I love you, Edward, whether I want to or not. 1295 01:12:10,738 --> 01:12:14,441 And I never thought in a million years you'd stop loving me. 1296 01:12:19,046 --> 01:12:21,212 I just... now I feel... 1297 01:12:21,312 --> 01:12:26,685 I don't know... hurt. 1298 01:12:26,785 --> 01:12:29,520 You understand? 1299 01:12:29,620 --> 01:12:30,055 I know you do. 1300 01:12:30,155 --> 01:12:30,854 Yes. 1301 01:12:33,757 --> 01:12:34,658 Yes. 1302 01:12:34,758 --> 01:12:35,792 I hate this. 1303 01:12:35,893 --> 01:12:37,193 I hate hurting you. 1304 01:12:37,293 --> 01:12:41,563 I'd give anything not to have, but I can't help it. 1305 01:12:41,663 --> 01:12:43,066 I'm sorry. 1306 01:12:43,166 --> 01:12:44,399 It's happened now. 1307 01:12:44,499 --> 01:12:46,768 It's just... it's just happened, and I'm sorry. 1308 01:12:46,868 --> 01:12:47,435 It's... 1309 01:12:50,838 --> 01:12:51,672 Grace is right. 1310 01:12:51,772 --> 01:12:52,707 There's nothing to sign. 1311 01:13:04,817 --> 01:13:05,851 I'm so sorry. 1312 01:13:12,322 --> 01:13:14,524 Your turn to say you're sorry, too. 1313 01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:16,292 Actually, I regret that we've 1314 01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:17,928 not been able to reach a mutually 1315 01:13:18,028 --> 01:13:19,228 satisfactory agreement. 1316 01:13:19,328 --> 01:13:20,396 That's what I'm here for. 1317 01:13:20,496 --> 01:13:22,031 A mutually satisfactory agreement? 1318 01:13:22,131 --> 01:13:23,833 Yes, where possible. 1319 01:13:23,933 --> 01:13:26,234 Who are you, Nelson Mandela? 1320 01:13:26,334 --> 01:13:28,069 Mom, time to go. 1321 01:13:28,169 --> 01:13:29,838 Yes, it's time to go. 1322 01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:31,271 That's what time it is. 1323 01:13:31,371 --> 01:13:32,840 Time to go. 1324 01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:33,540 Come on, Eddie. 1325 01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:34,007 Let's go. 1326 01:13:41,214 --> 01:13:45,617 Once left behind on the road, they froze to death. 1327 01:13:45,717 --> 01:13:49,954 This was understood to be an accident. 1328 01:13:50,054 --> 01:13:52,489 Nobody looked back. 1329 01:13:52,589 --> 01:13:55,992 By abandoning the weak, the strong survived. 1330 01:13:59,863 --> 01:14:03,264 It may seem brutal, but what's the point 1331 01:14:03,364 --> 01:14:04,666 of everyone ending up dead? 1332 01:14:11,105 --> 01:14:12,006 Mom. 1333 01:14:17,043 --> 01:14:18,844 Mom. 1334 01:14:18,944 --> 01:14:19,545 Hey. 1335 01:14:56,643 --> 01:14:57,043 Mom. 1336 01:15:00,046 --> 01:15:00,646 You all right? 1337 01:15:03,215 --> 01:15:05,650 Can we... please. 1338 01:15:20,529 --> 01:15:24,599 Let's do the old walk down to Hope Gap. 1339 01:15:38,711 --> 01:15:42,148 I used to love coming here. 1340 01:15:42,248 --> 01:15:43,582 It's like my secret world. 1341 01:15:49,321 --> 01:15:50,588 Why you look at me like that? 1342 01:15:50,688 --> 01:15:52,890 Trying to think how I can help you. 1343 01:15:52,990 --> 01:15:54,891 Oh, I'll be all right. 1344 01:15:54,991 --> 01:15:56,993 You'll be fine. 1345 01:15:57,093 --> 01:15:58,228 That's what we say. 1346 01:15:58,328 --> 01:15:59,996 Let's not say that anymore. 1347 01:16:00,096 --> 01:16:00,829 What's the point? 1348 01:16:00,929 --> 01:16:02,598 Let's not pretend. 1349 01:16:02,698 --> 01:16:05,666 Neither of us are all right, are we? 1350 01:16:05,766 --> 01:16:08,002 Not really. 1351 01:16:08,102 --> 01:16:10,604 What is it? 1352 01:16:10,705 --> 01:16:14,242 There are one or two things going wrong for me 1353 01:16:14,342 --> 01:16:16,176 in a minor sort of way. 1354 01:16:16,276 --> 01:16:18,078 Is it work or the other thing? 1355 01:16:18,178 --> 01:16:19,112 It's the other thing. 1356 01:16:19,212 --> 01:16:19,845 Oh. 1357 01:16:19,945 --> 01:16:20,280 What is it? 1358 01:16:20,379 --> 01:16:21,280 Why? 1359 01:16:21,379 --> 01:16:22,982 It's what you said. 1360 01:16:23,082 --> 01:16:26,050 Seems I'm not very good at making people love me. 1361 01:16:26,150 --> 01:16:28,585 How could anyone not love you? 1362 01:16:28,686 --> 01:16:31,122 I think I'm a bit un-forthcoming. 1363 01:16:31,222 --> 01:16:32,055 Like Edward. 1364 01:16:32,155 --> 01:16:34,024 Probably. 1365 01:16:34,124 --> 01:16:35,859 You must get over it, darling. 1366 01:16:35,959 --> 01:16:36,926 You must forth come. 1367 01:16:37,026 --> 01:16:40,129 Well, it doesn't seem to be very easy. 1368 01:16:40,229 --> 01:16:42,164 But you do want to. 1369 01:16:42,265 --> 01:16:47,768 I want all the usual things, and it doesn't happen. 1370 01:16:47,869 --> 01:16:49,070 There was someone, but it doesn't 1371 01:16:49,170 --> 01:16:50,137 seem to have quite worked out. 1372 01:16:50,238 --> 01:16:52,273 It seems I'm the problem. 1373 01:16:52,373 --> 01:16:55,808 Like me? 1374 01:16:55,909 --> 01:16:56,809 Sorry. 1375 01:16:56,910 --> 01:16:57,911 I shouldn't be talking about myself. 1376 01:16:58,011 --> 01:17:00,246 No, it makes a change. 1377 01:17:00,346 --> 01:17:03,649 Would you mind if I prayed for you for things to work out? 1378 01:17:03,749 --> 01:17:04,783 No. 1379 01:17:04,883 --> 01:17:07,185 If it works, will you start believing again? 1380 01:17:07,286 --> 01:17:09,053 If it doesn't, will you stop? 1381 01:17:09,153 --> 01:17:10,354 No. 1382 01:17:10,453 --> 01:17:12,856 I couldn't even if I wanted to, which I do. 1383 01:17:12,956 --> 01:17:16,458 If I could only stop believing, then I could get out, which 1384 01:17:16,558 --> 01:17:20,062 I longed to do night and day. 1385 01:17:20,162 --> 01:17:21,664 Please don't get out. 1386 01:17:21,764 --> 01:17:24,465 Well, I really just want to fall asleep, Jamie. 1387 01:17:24,565 --> 01:17:25,633 No more waking. 1388 01:17:25,733 --> 01:17:28,102 It's the waking that hurts so much. 1389 01:17:28,202 --> 01:17:31,838 That moment coming out of a confusion of dreams 1390 01:17:31,939 --> 01:17:34,107 and you think maybe it's not true. 1391 01:17:34,207 --> 01:17:38,044 Maybe he's lying there after all. 1392 01:17:38,144 --> 01:17:40,612 You turn your head on the pillow, there's no one there. 1393 01:17:43,815 --> 01:17:46,550 I know I should say come and live with me... 1394 01:17:46,651 --> 01:17:47,419 No, it's all right. 1395 01:17:47,518 --> 01:17:48,619 I don't want to. 1396 01:17:48,719 --> 01:17:52,156 I think I'm just a bit frightened. 1397 01:17:52,256 --> 01:17:55,326 Of my unhappiness? 1398 01:17:55,426 --> 01:17:58,593 Yeah. 1399 01:17:58,695 --> 01:18:00,063 It frightens me, too. 1400 01:18:06,667 --> 01:18:08,903 I wanted to do it, you know. 1401 01:18:12,073 --> 01:18:14,641 You won't? 1402 01:18:14,741 --> 01:18:16,508 Can't make any promises. 1403 01:18:20,212 --> 01:18:27,518 In that horror the solicitor's office, that was my last shot. 1404 01:18:27,618 --> 01:18:31,356 If you did, would you tell me first? 1405 01:18:31,456 --> 01:18:34,091 I don't know. 1406 01:18:34,191 --> 01:18:36,093 Do you want me to? 1407 01:18:36,193 --> 01:18:38,362 Well, I'm the one who'd have to clear after you. 1408 01:18:38,462 --> 01:18:40,663 Oh, yes, I suppose so. 1409 01:18:40,763 --> 01:18:41,897 Hadn't thought of that. 1410 01:18:41,998 --> 01:18:45,000 Now I want to say something different. 1411 01:18:45,100 --> 01:18:47,501 I want you to know that I do understand. 1412 01:18:50,104 --> 01:18:54,741 After all, suppose it was cancer and you were in unbearable pain 1413 01:18:54,841 --> 01:18:58,945 and dying only too slowly, what... 1414 01:18:59,045 --> 01:19:01,114 then I'd say end it now wouldn't I? 1415 01:19:01,214 --> 01:19:02,681 Out of my love for you. 1416 01:19:02,781 --> 01:19:05,283 So if your life hurts you so much that you want to end it, 1417 01:19:05,384 --> 01:19:07,618 I won't stop you. 1418 01:19:07,718 --> 01:19:14,358 Out of my love you, only just tell me. 1419 01:19:14,458 --> 01:19:16,525 Don't let it be a surprise. 1420 01:19:16,625 --> 01:19:17,861 Give me time to say goodbye. 1421 01:19:21,431 --> 01:19:25,566 You must've known some sad dark times to say that to me. 1422 01:19:25,666 --> 01:19:30,171 I can't ask you to live for me. 1423 01:19:30,271 --> 01:19:34,708 But we each have to carry our own burden. 1424 01:19:34,808 --> 01:19:36,176 You're like to explorer. 1425 01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:38,378 You're further down the road. 1426 01:19:38,478 --> 01:19:39,945 You've gone on ahead. 1427 01:19:40,046 --> 01:19:41,847 So if after a while you don't go on anymore, 1428 01:19:41,947 --> 01:19:46,818 then I'll know that the road is too hard and for too long. 1429 01:19:46,918 --> 01:19:49,187 I'll know that in the end, the unhappiness wins. 1430 01:19:51,889 --> 01:19:59,462 But if you do go on and bear it, terrible as it is, then 1431 01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:02,064 I'll know that however bad it gets, 1432 01:20:02,164 --> 01:20:04,266 I can last it out because you did before me. 1433 01:20:08,602 --> 01:20:12,872 My darling boy, how you've grown up. 1434 01:20:38,761 --> 01:20:40,663 This is very grand. 1435 01:20:40,763 --> 01:20:42,597 I'm paying. 1436 01:20:42,697 --> 01:20:44,699 I'm not even sure I know what any of this means. 1437 01:20:44,799 --> 01:20:46,534 What's brandade? 1438 01:20:46,634 --> 01:20:47,302 What's kimchi? 1439 01:20:47,402 --> 01:20:48,769 Have the lamb. 1440 01:20:48,869 --> 01:20:51,539 You don't think I should be a bit more adventurous? 1441 01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:53,373 Two of the Welsh lamb please. 1442 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:54,208 All right, yep. 1443 01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:54,874 Thank you. 1444 01:20:54,974 --> 01:20:55,375 Thanks. 1445 01:20:59,045 --> 01:21:00,446 How is she? 1446 01:21:00,546 --> 01:21:04,749 She started volunteering for something called Friendline. 1447 01:21:04,850 --> 01:21:07,651 It's for people who reached the end of the line. 1448 01:21:07,751 --> 01:21:10,387 The end of the line, dear God. 1449 01:21:10,488 --> 01:21:11,654 She's doing all right. 1450 01:21:11,754 --> 01:21:13,457 You didn't have to worry. 1451 01:21:13,557 --> 01:21:16,793 Or feel guilty. 1452 01:21:16,893 --> 01:21:20,263 I didn't think any of us have as much control over our lives 1453 01:21:20,363 --> 01:21:21,531 as we pretend. 1454 01:21:21,630 --> 01:21:24,566 Angela says Grace and I weren't suited, 1455 01:21:24,665 --> 01:21:26,200 and I should have left years ago. 1456 01:21:26,301 --> 01:21:27,436 Why didn't you? 1457 01:21:27,536 --> 01:21:30,138 It never really seemed an option. 1458 01:21:30,238 --> 01:21:32,873 Do you think I should? 1459 01:21:32,973 --> 01:21:35,142 I think if you were going to leave now, 1460 01:21:35,242 --> 01:21:37,444 you should have left earlier if you see what I mean. 1461 01:21:37,544 --> 01:21:39,011 I didn't know. 1462 01:21:39,111 --> 01:21:41,746 If I had to blame you for anything, it would be that. 1463 01:21:41,847 --> 01:21:43,315 For not leaving earlier? 1464 01:21:43,415 --> 01:21:46,784 For going on being nice and making cups of tea and letting 1465 01:21:46,885 --> 01:21:48,553 her think that you were happy. 1466 01:21:48,652 --> 01:21:50,787 For not getting angry when she went for you. 1467 01:21:50,888 --> 01:21:54,224 For not telling you what you really wanted. 1468 01:21:54,324 --> 01:21:56,993 For not letting them know what it felt like to be you. 1469 01:21:57,093 --> 01:21:59,428 Oh, Jamie, you don't know how hard that is. 1470 01:21:59,529 --> 01:22:00,463 Don't I? 1471 01:22:00,563 --> 01:22:02,964 But I think she knew even so. 1472 01:22:03,064 --> 01:22:04,799 I don't. 1473 01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:07,335 Right up until the day you left, she 1474 01:22:07,435 --> 01:22:08,736 thought you adored each other. 1475 01:22:08,836 --> 01:22:10,871 It's complicated, you know. 1476 01:22:10,971 --> 01:22:15,975 You can love somebody and want to leave them at the same time. 1477 01:22:16,075 --> 01:22:19,179 When you say she adored me, no, that wasn't me. 1478 01:22:19,279 --> 01:22:22,381 That was someone she invented, the Edward she wanted. 1479 01:22:22,481 --> 01:22:25,184 And she never really forgave me for not being him. 1480 01:22:25,284 --> 01:22:29,353 It made me feel like I was always in the wrong... 1481 01:22:29,453 --> 01:22:31,422 in the wrong but innocent. 1482 01:22:31,522 --> 01:22:33,990 Now I feel what I've done is right, 1483 01:22:34,090 --> 01:22:38,794 but I feel guilty because I'm happy and she isn't. 1484 01:22:38,894 --> 01:22:40,196 That's my crime. 1485 01:22:44,500 --> 01:22:45,400 What's that? 1486 01:22:45,501 --> 01:22:49,237 That is the lamb's fry. 1487 01:22:49,337 --> 01:22:53,440 Lamb's fry what? 1488 01:22:53,540 --> 01:22:54,807 Yes, go on. 1489 01:22:54,907 --> 01:22:56,976 I'm still listening. 1490 01:22:57,076 --> 01:22:59,811 That's OK. 1491 01:22:59,912 --> 01:23:01,113 That's what we're here for, yes. 1492 01:23:01,214 --> 01:23:04,316 So not only did he walk out on my birthday, 1493 01:23:04,416 --> 01:23:05,984 taking the bottle of champagne I brought 1494 01:23:06,084 --> 01:23:08,786 to celebrate my birthday, he also 1495 01:23:08,886 --> 01:23:12,389 left me for Jeffrey, who was the first boyfriend 1496 01:23:12,489 --> 01:23:14,157 to walk out on me. 1497 01:23:14,258 --> 01:23:15,091 Typical men. 1498 01:23:15,191 --> 01:23:16,694 I mean, what was he thinking? 1499 01:23:16,793 --> 01:23:19,529 Men don't think or feel. 1500 01:23:19,629 --> 01:23:21,396 They have no feelings at all. 1501 01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:23,731 I'm still listening. 1502 01:23:31,706 --> 01:23:33,073 Friendline. 1503 01:23:36,142 --> 01:23:37,910 Yes. 1504 01:23:38,010 --> 01:23:41,380 No, I really do want to hear it. 1505 01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:44,082 Oh, the cliffs. 1506 01:23:44,182 --> 01:23:47,719 I've been into all that myself. 1507 01:23:47,818 --> 01:23:49,354 They look vertical, but they're not. 1508 01:23:49,454 --> 01:23:53,924 They have bumps sticking out, and you hit them as you fall. 1509 01:23:54,024 --> 01:23:58,294 Well, exactly, it isn't fair, is it? 1510 01:23:58,394 --> 01:24:00,096 Do you know what's even more unfair, 1511 01:24:00,196 --> 01:24:04,165 at least if you believe what I believe? 1512 01:24:04,266 --> 01:24:06,234 Your life is so unbearable you decide 1513 01:24:06,334 --> 01:24:10,137 to end it, the next thing you know you've gone to hell. 1514 01:24:10,237 --> 01:24:10,838 Honestly. 1515 01:24:53,674 --> 01:24:56,175 My friend on the phone lines is gay. 1516 01:24:56,276 --> 01:24:59,645 Turns out he's been left just like me. 1517 01:24:59,745 --> 01:25:01,880 So we talk about what it's like and how 1518 01:25:01,980 --> 01:25:05,517 men are all selfish pigs and how is one to cope. 1519 01:25:05,617 --> 01:25:07,118 Oh, and I told him all about you. 1520 01:25:07,218 --> 01:25:08,553 He said you're probably gay. 1521 01:25:08,653 --> 01:25:09,820 He did. 1522 01:25:09,920 --> 01:25:11,622 You're not, are you? 1523 01:25:11,722 --> 01:25:13,990 No, not as it happens. 1524 01:25:14,090 --> 01:25:17,126 You could be refusing to admit your true nature. 1525 01:25:17,226 --> 01:25:18,661 Do you want me to be gay. 1526 01:25:18,761 --> 01:25:21,597 Oh, I just want you to be happy. 1527 01:25:21,698 --> 01:25:22,931 There's a good boy. 1528 01:25:23,031 --> 01:25:25,900 Let's show him your new trick. 1529 01:25:26,000 --> 01:25:28,102 Die, Edward, die. 1530 01:25:28,202 --> 01:25:29,670 Oh. 1531 01:25:29,770 --> 01:25:31,971 There, isn't he clever? 1532 01:25:32,072 --> 01:25:33,474 Wouldn't it be something if I could 1533 01:25:33,574 --> 01:25:34,874 get the real Edward to do that? 1534 01:25:34,974 --> 01:25:36,109 What, make him die? 1535 01:25:36,209 --> 01:25:38,911 Well, roll about on the ground a bit. 1536 01:25:39,011 --> 01:25:41,814 Oh, there's my beautiful boy. 1537 01:25:41,914 --> 01:25:45,350 Is this dog your husband or your son? 1538 01:25:45,451 --> 01:25:46,351 Why? 1539 01:25:46,451 --> 01:25:47,352 Are you jealous? 1540 01:25:47,452 --> 01:25:48,653 No, this is an improvement on the way 1541 01:25:48,753 --> 01:25:49,953 you were talking a few weeks ago. 1542 01:25:50,053 --> 01:25:52,622 And how is I talking a few weeks ago? 1543 01:25:52,724 --> 01:25:55,158 All that stuff about getting out. 1544 01:25:55,258 --> 01:25:57,193 Oh, yes. 1545 01:25:57,293 --> 01:25:59,395 Yes, well, I've moved on from that. 1546 01:25:59,495 --> 01:26:03,031 The thing about unhappiness is after a while, 1547 01:26:03,131 --> 01:26:07,102 it stops being interesting. 1548 01:26:07,202 --> 01:26:10,437 Did I tell you I've gone back to my anthology? 1549 01:26:10,537 --> 01:26:14,173 See I've been collecting the poems under headings... 1550 01:26:14,274 --> 01:26:18,311 feeling lonely, death of a loved one, that sort of thing. 1551 01:26:18,411 --> 01:26:21,012 Only really good poems, of course. 1552 01:26:21,113 --> 01:26:22,381 No greeting cards nonsense. 1553 01:26:22,481 --> 01:26:25,250 Marriage breakdown, that's a big one. 1554 01:26:25,350 --> 01:26:27,519 And feeling you're a failure. 1555 01:26:27,619 --> 01:26:29,620 That's huge. 1556 01:26:29,720 --> 01:26:30,954 Can I? 1557 01:26:35,860 --> 01:26:37,893 What do you plan to do with this? 1558 01:26:37,993 --> 01:26:40,396 It's a sort of constellation system. 1559 01:26:40,496 --> 01:26:43,432 Something bad happens to you, you look it up in my anthology. 1560 01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:44,500 Right, I... 1561 01:26:44,600 --> 01:26:46,033 I get that. 1562 01:26:46,134 --> 01:26:48,336 I mean, how are you going to get people to know about it? 1563 01:26:48,436 --> 01:26:50,170 Well, it's going to be a book I hope. 1564 01:26:50,271 --> 01:26:52,172 This should be a website, Mom. 1565 01:26:52,272 --> 01:26:53,974 It's perfect for the internet. 1566 01:26:54,074 --> 01:26:55,642 You could have a search bar, and you 1567 01:26:55,742 --> 01:26:57,444 could type in feeling lonely. 1568 01:26:57,544 --> 01:27:01,680 And then it would give you links to poems about loneliness. 1569 01:27:01,781 --> 01:27:02,947 How would it do that? 1570 01:27:03,047 --> 01:27:03,948 Well, that's easy. 1571 01:27:04,048 --> 01:27:05,950 That's what I do every day. 1572 01:27:06,050 --> 01:27:09,119 The hard part is this, is building the database. 1573 01:27:09,219 --> 01:27:11,890 No, it's not a database. 1574 01:27:11,989 --> 01:27:13,690 It's an anthology. 1575 01:27:13,791 --> 01:27:15,626 Can you expand it? 1576 01:27:15,726 --> 01:27:16,727 You want more? 1577 01:27:16,827 --> 01:27:17,527 Much more. 1578 01:27:17,627 --> 01:27:19,095 Oh. 1579 01:27:19,195 --> 01:27:22,564 I know more poems if that's what you mean, hundreds more. 1580 01:27:22,665 --> 01:27:24,633 What are you going to call it? 1581 01:27:24,733 --> 01:27:28,402 I'm thinking of calling it "I Have Been Here Before." 1582 01:27:28,502 --> 01:27:29,905 That's rather the point, you see. 1583 01:27:30,004 --> 01:27:32,339 Others have been through these things before us. 1584 01:27:32,440 --> 01:27:35,708 I don't know why that should be comforting, but it is. 1585 01:27:35,809 --> 01:27:37,243 Because they survived? 1586 01:27:37,343 --> 01:27:38,678 Some did. 1587 01:27:38,778 --> 01:27:40,479 Some didn't. 1588 01:27:40,579 --> 01:27:44,383 It's the first line of a poem by Rossetti. 1589 01:27:44,483 --> 01:27:45,116 Do you know it? 1590 01:27:45,216 --> 01:27:46,184 No. 1591 01:27:46,284 --> 01:27:47,853 Do you want me to say it for you? 1592 01:27:47,952 --> 01:27:50,187 Yes, I'd like that. 1593 01:27:50,288 --> 01:27:52,989 I have been here before. 1594 01:27:53,089 --> 01:27:56,593 When or how, I cannot tell. 1595 01:27:56,693 --> 01:27:59,562 I know the grass beyond the door, 1596 01:27:59,662 --> 01:28:04,700 the keen sweet smell, the sighing sound, 1597 01:28:04,800 --> 01:28:07,569 the lights around the shore. 1598 01:28:07,669 --> 01:28:11,104 You have been mine before. 1599 01:28:11,205 --> 01:28:14,675 How long ago, I may not know. 1600 01:28:14,775 --> 01:28:18,878 But just when at that swallow saw, 1601 01:28:18,977 --> 01:28:23,448 your neck turned so some veil did fall. 1602 01:28:23,548 --> 01:28:26,418 I knew it all of yore. 1603 01:28:26,518 --> 01:28:33,223 Has this been thus before, and shall not thus times eddying 1604 01:28:33,323 --> 01:28:37,393 flight still with our lives, our loves restore 1605 01:28:37,494 --> 01:28:40,897 in death's despite and day and night 1606 01:28:40,996 --> 01:28:43,465 yield one delight once more? 1607 01:28:50,538 --> 01:28:51,104 Edward. 1608 01:28:53,640 --> 01:28:54,708 It's so dull. 1609 01:28:54,808 --> 01:28:55,942 What are you doing here, Grace? 1610 01:28:56,041 --> 01:28:59,078 Is this really how you want to live? 1611 01:28:59,178 --> 01:29:00,846 This is at Angela's house. 1612 01:29:00,946 --> 01:29:04,482 Yes, Angela. 1613 01:29:04,582 --> 01:29:05,149 Where is she? 1614 01:29:05,250 --> 01:29:06,351 I don't want a row. 1615 01:29:06,451 --> 01:29:07,619 Grace, I won't stand for it. 1616 01:29:07,719 --> 01:29:08,620 No. 1617 01:29:08,720 --> 01:29:11,021 I don't want a row either. 1618 01:29:11,121 --> 01:29:12,689 I came to bring you these. 1619 01:29:15,459 --> 01:29:19,362 But maybe you don't want them anymore. 1620 01:29:22,564 --> 01:29:26,968 So all along, you wanted to live like this. 1621 01:29:27,067 --> 01:29:29,503 Why didn't you tell me? 1622 01:29:29,603 --> 01:29:32,071 You must feel all those years with me were 1623 01:29:32,171 --> 01:29:33,507 another life, another planet. 1624 01:29:36,376 --> 01:29:41,346 We did have a marriage, didn't we, on that other planet? 1625 01:29:41,446 --> 01:29:44,449 And now you're living a different life. 1626 01:29:50,254 --> 01:29:51,989 You must be Angela. 1627 01:29:52,088 --> 01:29:53,089 Yes, that's right. 1628 01:29:53,189 --> 01:29:54,457 She just walked in. 1629 01:29:54,558 --> 01:29:56,526 Yes. 1630 01:29:56,626 --> 01:29:59,395 I don't think I really believed you existed. 1631 01:30:02,163 --> 01:30:04,867 Please sit. 1632 01:30:04,967 --> 01:30:06,768 No. 1633 01:30:06,868 --> 01:30:07,435 Not staying. 1634 01:30:11,873 --> 01:30:12,906 What did you think you were doing? 1635 01:30:13,006 --> 01:30:14,073 Grace... 1636 01:30:14,173 --> 01:30:15,542 I mean, what gave you the right. 1637 01:30:15,642 --> 01:30:16,242 That's enough. 1638 01:30:16,342 --> 01:30:17,143 It's all right, Edward. 1639 01:30:17,243 --> 01:30:17,844 I can speak for myself. 1640 01:30:23,181 --> 01:30:28,352 I think I thought there was three unhappy people. 1641 01:30:33,356 --> 01:30:34,424 And now there's only one. 1642 01:30:46,068 --> 01:30:47,268 Yes, I see. 1643 01:30:59,144 --> 01:31:03,782 Grace, Grace, can't we... 1644 01:31:03,882 --> 01:31:06,085 can't we be friends? 1645 01:31:06,184 --> 01:31:09,219 Friends, uh, no. 1646 01:31:09,319 --> 01:31:11,421 I don't think so. 1647 01:31:11,521 --> 01:31:14,925 It all went on too long, didn't it? 1648 01:31:15,025 --> 01:31:15,826 I wish... 1649 01:31:18,828 --> 01:31:20,195 You wish we'd never met? 1650 01:31:20,296 --> 01:31:21,897 No, of course, not. 1651 01:31:21,998 --> 01:31:22,732 I do. 1652 01:31:22,832 --> 01:31:23,632 I do. 1653 01:31:23,732 --> 01:31:25,767 I wish we'd never met. 1654 01:31:25,867 --> 01:31:30,738 I'd wish I'd never loved you, but we did and I do... 1655 01:31:30,838 --> 01:31:32,439 I did. 1656 01:31:32,539 --> 01:31:36,076 And now I have to try and let you go. 1657 01:31:36,175 --> 01:31:39,244 Don't think too badly of me. 1658 01:31:39,344 --> 01:31:43,281 I try not to think of you at all. 1659 01:31:43,382 --> 01:31:46,018 I'm getting quite good at it during the day. 1660 01:31:46,118 --> 01:31:49,587 But at night, I dream about you. 1661 01:31:49,687 --> 01:31:52,222 Unfair, isn't it? 1662 01:32:44,032 --> 01:32:47,869 All right, so it's called "I've Been Here Before." 1663 01:32:47,969 --> 01:32:50,337 You type into the search bar. 1664 01:32:50,438 --> 01:32:53,707 Anything... love, life, death, anything you like. 1665 01:32:53,807 --> 01:32:57,143 It turns out someone else thought it long ago. 1666 01:32:57,242 --> 01:32:58,577 You're not the only one, so maybe you 1667 01:32:58,678 --> 01:33:00,146 can make it through after all. 1668 01:33:00,245 --> 01:33:01,647 That's what I want to hear. 1669 01:33:01,747 --> 01:33:03,247 How I can make it through after all. 1670 01:33:03,347 --> 01:33:07,351 You want hope, we've got hope. 1671 01:33:10,722 --> 01:33:13,124 "Say Not the Struggle Nought Availeth." 1672 01:33:13,223 --> 01:33:15,257 It's my mom's favorite. 1673 01:33:18,427 --> 01:33:22,064 Say not the struggle nought availeth. 1674 01:33:22,164 --> 01:33:24,999 The labor and the wounds are vain. 1675 01:33:25,101 --> 01:33:28,235 The enemy faints not nor faileth. 1676 01:33:28,335 --> 01:33:32,473 And as things have been, they remain. 1677 01:33:32,573 --> 01:33:35,608 For while, the tired waves vainly breaking 1678 01:33:35,708 --> 01:33:40,345 seem here no painful inch gain far back 1679 01:33:40,445 --> 01:33:43,548 through creeks and inlets making come 1680 01:33:43,648 --> 01:33:47,618 silent flooding in the main. 1681 01:33:47,718 --> 01:33:51,387 And not by eastern windows only when daylight comes 1682 01:33:51,489 --> 01:33:53,757 comes in the light. 1683 01:33:53,858 --> 01:33:59,595 In front, the sun climbs slow, how slowly. 1684 01:33:59,695 --> 01:34:02,998 But westward look, the land is bright. 1685 01:34:15,642 --> 01:34:18,444 I began by thinking I could save you, 1686 01:34:18,544 --> 01:34:22,614 but in the end, all I can do is honor you. 1687 01:34:22,715 --> 01:34:29,353 My mother, first among women, my warmth and my comfort, 1688 01:34:29,453 --> 01:34:36,292 my safety, my pride, you're the one I want to please. 1689 01:34:36,392 --> 01:34:38,361 You're the one I want to applaud me. 1690 01:34:45,066 --> 01:34:54,108 My father, first among men, my teacher and my judge, the man 1691 01:34:54,208 --> 01:34:55,075 I know I will become. 1692 01:35:05,918 --> 01:35:07,351 You grow older now. 1693 01:35:07,451 --> 01:35:12,190 You'll still ahead of me as you'll always be forever 1694 01:35:12,290 --> 01:35:13,590 further down the road. 1695 01:35:18,961 --> 01:35:21,430 Forgive me for needing you to be strong forever. 1696 01:35:26,568 --> 01:35:28,803 Forgive me for fearing your unhappiness. 1697 01:35:33,140 --> 01:35:35,808 As you suffer, so I shall suffer. 1698 01:35:35,909 --> 01:35:37,743 As you endure, so I shall endure. 1699 01:35:40,847 --> 01:35:43,049 Hold my hands and walk the old walk 1700 01:35:43,149 --> 01:35:47,853 one last time then let me go. 1701 01:36:08,379 --> 01:36:13,379 ***