- Is that you mom?
- Who else would it be?
- Just making sure.
- What have I told you about keeping that door locked?
Some psycho could come wandering in here.
- Pretty sure one just did.
- Stop it, I'll show you how psycho I can be.
- Oh, I know.
- So what are you getting all dolled up for?
I thought we were gonna stay at home and eat Halloween candy
and watch scary movies.
You know, our usual tradition?
- Yeah Well, Sage wants to go out tonight with them.
- Them? who's them?
- Just Sage.
- And I suppose Kyle and Riley
will be there too?
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. So what are you gonna do tonight?
- We don't know yet, it's Halloween,
so there's lots of stuff to do.
- Which means all the crazies are gonna be out.
- Just like every other night.
- Just be careful.
- We will, don't worry.
- And no drinking.
- We're not gonna drink.
- Alex, give me a little bit of credit.
I was not born yesterday.
- I promise there'll be no drinking.
- Okay. And I want you home at 12.
- 12? On Halloween?
Can't I stay out a little later than that?
- No, 12.
Take it or leave it, Alex.
- Fine.
- Yes. I will save you some candy
and we'll watch a movie when you get home.
- All right. Sounds good.
- All right. Good girl.
Well, you have fun.
And don't do anything crazy.
- Something crazy?
What do you think I'm gonna do?
Raise the dead.
- Well, if you do something like that,
you're definitely grounded.
Now go on, get outta here.
- Okay, bye.
- Oh, honey, you're a big girl.
And you tell everyone when I said hello.
- I will.
- All right.
My hands down.
- Bye mom.
- Bye baby.
Have fun.
See y'all.
I'll just eat the candy myself.
Not all of it.
Most of it.
I'll save you one, two, punishment.
- Where are we going?
- To the lame ass fairgrounds.
- Wait, why are we going to the fairgrounds?
- Cause, Riley claims it's haunted.
Some stupid shit like that.
- It is haunted.
- Okay man, whatever you say.
I think you're full of shit though.
- Look, I don't care what you think.
I've heard all sorts of goofy shit about this place.
- Me too.
- There was a carnival here back in the day.
And one night a girl got killed on a ride
when it fucked up.
- It was the electric swings, right?
That's what my said.
- Right. she was the one that came loose
and it threw her ass halfway across the.
It broke most of the bones in her body when it landed.
Hella people say they still see a ghost wandering
around up in it.
- My cousin said that he saw her when he was a little kid.
Really creeped him out.
- Yeah. And would that be your same cousin that claims
he saw Bigfoot jerking off in the woods behind
his house that one time?
Hell, that's a reliable source.
- Fuck you.
- Then there's the whole thing with the knife door.
Like apparently he got a little too drunk one night before
his planted a knife right in between
his assistant's eyes.
- Let me guess, her ghost supposedly haunts
the place too, right?
- His too, actually.
He was so upset about the whole thing
that he blew his fucking brains out
in the trailer before the cops showed up.
- Are you listening to this shit?
- Look, I don't you believe me or not.
I'm just saying there's a ton of cool stories about
this place and it might be awesome to check it out.
Especially tonight
- You don't really think
we're gonna see a ghost or something, do you?
- I don't know, maybe.
Stranger things have happened.
- Creepy.
- Check that out.
- That's fucked up.
- Give me a break.
What did you two come out here earlier
and set this up to try and scare us?
It's not working.
- We had nothing to do with this.
- Of course you didn't.
- Wanna go check it out?
- Yeah, let's go.
- All right.
- I don't know.
- Y'all coming or what?
- Come on. This is stupid.
Let's get outta here.
There's gotta be something better to do.
Come on Sage.
Let's go check this out and get it over with so we can get
the hell outta here, all right?
- Okay.
- Yo, you're scared, ain't you?
Little bitch.
- Fuck no.
I am worried we might die of boredom.
Let's go.
- You don't really expect us to go in there, do you?
- Come on, don't punk out.
It's gonna be fun.
We're already here.
- Oh,
- I'm not going in after him.
Hey, come on.
- Yo, Riley, Reggie, how?
- It's like an adventure man.
Check out new stuff.
- It looks like good will.
- So you should feel right at home.
- Oh, hey Riley, look it's your ex-girlfriend.
Huh, wow.
Is there a light switch in here?
Gotta get a switch.
Dude.
- Fascinating.
- Yeah, yeah.
Can we go now?
- Come on man, let's check some of this stuff out.
- Dude, why? There's nothing in here?
It's just a fucking old ass warehouse.
- Right, think that's what it looks like.
I can hear it.
Check this out
- Now he's going through shit.
Not surprised.
- Yeah. Nothing here he says.
- Babe, how do I look?
- Like a moron, as usual.
- So fucking funny.
- Typical Riley.
- I wonder why all this stuff is here.
- Maybe it's fidget stuff.
- What the fuck's a fidget.
- He was the midget clown that used to work at the carnival.
They had him in the dunking booth and stuff.
- Used to insult the people that tried to dunk him.
One day, he pissed off a bunch of rednecks.
Went a little too far.
- What happened to him?
- Things didn't work out too well for him.
Pretty sure they beat him up and hung him.
- Something like that.
- Actually they beat him profusely and set him on fire.
Poor little guy.
With his dying breath,
he vowed to one day of return and make those responsible
for what happened to him pay.
Perhaps tonight will be that night.
- Yo, who the fuck are you?
- Ah, forgive my manners.
I am Bogo the Magnificent,
but you can call me The Ring Master.
- So what are you doing here?
Setting up a carnival or something?
- Something like that.
The others will be here shortly,
but until then I will be glad to be your host.
- For what?
- For the wonderful tales I'm about to tell you.
Please join me, make yourselves comfortable.
- Great, fucking story time!
Yeah. Wonderful.
Thanks a lot Riley.
Now I could be at Nina Bloomfield Halloween party
right now getting drunk.
But instead we're here doing this shit
with this fucking clown.
- Her parties are the same every year.
They're like super trash.
- Oh, I think you'll enjoy them.
For they're not just any stories
and not for the faint of heart,
but ones that I have gathered around my many travels around
this magnificent country of ours.
- So, what's with the box?
- What we have here are certain artifacts
that are connected to each story I'm about to tell you.
- Oh awesome, he's a prop comic.
Just what we need.
Well, hopefully he's better than Carrot Top.
- The stories I have for you are not exactly funny,
though I guess one with a twisted sense of humor
might find them as such.
No, these stories are guaranteed to grant
you many sleepless nights.
- Sure they are.
- Now please, make yourselves comfortable
and we'll get started.
This particular item belonged to a fellow
that came from a town, not like your own.
You're free to take a look at it.
- Is that blood?
- Indeed it is.
- So what's the good news?
- Wish I had some,
they discovered another body a couple of hours ago.
- Jesus.
This one was 19 years old.
She had her whole life ahead of her.
- I know.
Her parents reported her missing last week.
We were hoping it was gonna be another runaway situation,
but obviously that's not the case.
- What did the sheriff say this time?
- Not much.
He's still can convinced that these murders
and disappearances aren't connected.
- And what's your opinion on the subject?
- That he's a fucking idiot.
I mean, anyone with half a brain can see
that they're linked somehow, you know,
but he's one of those backwards,
everyone's related, sheriffs.
I'm not surprised by any of the way
he's handling it right now.
- I mean, it's his town.
I mean, you would think he would know better than anyone.
- I think he's covering for someone,
maybe even involved himself.
- I think somebody's been watching
a few too many conspiracy videos on YouTube.
- Maybe. I just think it's odd.
You know, his behavior,
it's raising more than a few red flags that he doesn't seem
at all concerned that several people in his jurisdiction
have gone missing or just plain dead in the last year or so.
- Now that sounds like a woman
who has some pretty severe trust issues.
- I can't argue with you there.
Hey, who did you send out?
- Culver and Skies.
They left early this morning and should be arriving anytime.
I'm hoping to hear from them any minute now.
- Just the two of them.
- They're the best we've got.
- Well, I agree with you on that,
but do you think that that was a wise decision?
- They can take care of themselves.
- I'm not saying that they can't,
but we don't really know what's going on out there.
If they get into trouble and we need to send help,
it could take hours.
We could be putting them and more potential victims at risk.
- Allison, they have the cooperation of the sheriff,
as well as his.
- Unless they're in on it.
- Enough!
Look, once they find out what's going on,
and they will,
we can send agents out at that point.
We're already short staffed as it is due to the cutbacks.
There is no sense in sending our people out there
for a wild goose chase until we know exactly
what we're dealing with.
- Okay. I see your point.
Listen, off the record,
what do you really think is happening out there?
- I have my theories.
- Care to share them.
- Not particularly, no.
- May I ask why not?
- May I be frank?
- Of course.
- In all honesty, it's above your pay grade.
You have the uncanny ability to consistently forget
who's in charge here.
So a reminder, it's me,
and I don't appreciate being constantly questioned
about my decisions.
Bottom line, I'm your superior officer.
If you don't like it,
you are more than welcome to put in a transfer.
Hell, I'll write you a letter of recommendation.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
Not all of us have the luxury of crying Chicken Little
every time they believe the sky is falling.
- Right.
Why don't I let you get at it.
- Thank you.
- Ass.
- Please, I won't say anything, I promise.
Please, please, no, please, no.
♪ Summer ♪
♪ I ♪
- Have a good day.
- Have a good day, man.
- You too.
- And here we are.
- So what do we do now?
- Wait.
- I hate waiting.
Yeah. Like I need this.
I've gained four pounds in two weeks.
My God, what I wouldn't do for a cigarette?
- Ah, no, no, no, no.
Don't do that. You gotta control life.
You gotta take life by the balls
and grip it and just like,
I'm not used to gripping balls, but life's balls...
- Yeah. Save your speech for the junkies.
- Okay.
- We better be stashing our IDs.
- Oh, yeah. You're right.
All right, well, let's hit it.
♪ All for ♪
- So are we gonna check in with the local cops
and let them know what we're up to?
- Hell, it is one guy.
One guy out here to the county
and it was 12 people that went missing in the last year.
Seven of them turned up dead and he didn't do shit.
He's not working with the authorities
or anybody on the outside.
So that's the whole reason we're going in like this.
- Wow. Like Christy, Kelly and Reynolds,
Kinda like heart to heart.
- Now all we need to do is ,
across the creek to the psycho killer.
And we are in business.
- Yes.
I so love my job.
Really pretty here.
- It is.
- Yeah. This would be a good place to live.
Well, if it wasn't a psychotic killer?
- Exactly the thing that will drive down property value.
- Right?
♪ I ♪
♪ Lost ♪
♪ In the ♪
- Stop, stop.
- Here we go.
- That didn't take long.
- Please, please stop.
Please, you've gotta help me.
My sister, she's been taken,
three men took her, please.
- Did you see where they took her?
- Oh, I think so.
- Okay. Relax.
Hop in the back seat, okay?
- Okay. Thank you.
There, she's in there.
Please. Please go save my sister.
- Hey, hey, hey, it's okay.
Calm down, just try to relax, all right.
We're gonna do everything we can to help your sister.
Just stay here with the car.
And we'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.
We'll be back.
Do you believe her?
Think she's on the level?
- I have no idea.
- We can walk into a set up.
- Yeah, maybe.
But the fact is, if she's telling the truth,
I mean, somebody's getting murdered
in this right now
and we have no choice but to check it out.
- Help!
Somebody, help!
Help!
Leave me alone!
Please.
- I'm going round to the other side.
- Okay.
- When you see me busting over there.
- Okay.
- You bust in over here, okay.
- All right. Got it.
- Please, please don't do this.
- I told you to stay in the car.
I could have shot you.
- Where'd your sister go?
- Help!
- Folks, you come with me.
Phil, you stay here.
- Somebody, please help me!
Anybody!
I just need help.
Please.
- Put the weapon down and put your hands in the air now!
- Hey. Can you understand me?
- Yeah.
- Can you walk?
- Who are you?
- Chris, my name is Chris.
- My name is Kelly.
- Kelly, it's nice to meet you,
but right now it's not the best time
for a formal introduction.
- Those men, they want to kill me.
- Really? No shit!
We need to run.
All right, what I'm gonna do is,
I'm gonna lay some fire down, all right.
My car's upfront.
All right, this is what you do,
I'll lay down fire.
You slip through the woods.
You keep going north, all right?
Keep going until you see the main road.
Once you see the main road, you stop.
Don't flag anybody down until you know it's absolutely safe.
Stay out of sight, all right?
- Why are you doing this?
Those men, they have no interest in you.
I'm the one they want.
Why would you sacrifice your for me?
You don't even know me or why they're doing this.
They may have a good reason for wanting me dead.
- It doesn't matter if they have a good reason or not.
It doesn't give them the right to torture
and kill anybody, you understand?
I need you to go, okay.
You can run, right?
- You're gonna get hurt.
- It doesn't matter.
Don't worry about me.
Listen, can you run?
All right. I need you to get outta here.
You need to go as fast as possible.
Run. Just go, please go.
All right Bob,
let's do this.
Do it!
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Just fucking kill me, come on.
You not going to find her.
She is fucking miles away.
She is gone.
And whatever it is that you
and your fucking goat fucking friends had going on,
it's fucking over!
And your buddies,
oh, they got off easy.
Oh, cause Bob,
when they catch up with you here in this state,
oh, they do not take kindly
to people killing federal fucking officers.
You are going to fucking fry.
You are going to fucking fry!
No! No!
What are you doing?
Don't even fucking.
No!
No! No!
- Kai, you have served me and my son well.
You will be rewarded.
- I don't understand, what's going on?
I die trying to save you.
I'm fucking done!
- And you have our gratitude.
- Our gratitude?
- Yes. This is my home.
And these are my faithful and obedient subjects.
- I still don't fucking get it.
What, who the fuck are you?
- I'm afraid the answer to that question
is beyond your ability to comprehend.
But I could tell you the story of my people begins long
before the creation of this world.
And now by right, it will be ours to rule.
- Why was killing us fucking necessary?
- Because as inferior and inconsequential,
as you, as your people are as a species,
your existence has threatened our existence.
- What fucking threat are we to you?
- The presence of human beings on this world was unplanned.
That you evolved at all is still inexplicable.
And the fact that you are,
threatens our ability to lay claim to it.
- What the fuck is you talking...
- What we needed was someone of character,
of strength, of courage,
a hero, a willing sacrifice.
You prove worthy where others failed.
We thank you.
It's time.
- What's going on?
What the fuck is...
- Finally, the scriptures have come to pass
and my son shall rule this world
and everyone who resides there in.
- Is it done?
So they've both been taken care of then?
What's that?
dead too.
Well, that's unfortunate, but not completely unexpected.
And the rebirth was successful.
Wonderful.
Praise him.
You have nothing to worry about that, I'll take care of it.
Because I'm in charge here and I know what I'm doing.
I've kept them off your back this long, haven't I?
Just trust me and do as I say.
Yeah, there's just,
there's just one more last loose end
that I have to take care of.
It's a new world out there because of us.
I'll be in touch.
Praise him.
Alison, can you come to my office please?
- You wanted to see me, sir.
- Can you have a seat please?
I wanna start by apologizing for my actions earlier.
I was completely out of line
and I owe you a tremendous apology.
I should have recognized your abilities on this case.
And for that, I am truly sorry.
- Well, I appreciate the sentiment, sir.
Do you mind if I ask where this is coming from?
- We just heard back from Culver.
You were absolutely right.
- They're in on it.
- The sheriff, his men,
and it gets worse.
- How so?
- We have reason to believe that someone
from our own agency is involved.
- Seriously.
- Now, I have to ask,
have you shared your theories about this case
with anyone else in this office?
- No.
No, absolutely not.
- No phone calls, no emails.
- Nothing.
- Good.
That's really good.
We don't need this leaking out any further
than it already has.
I have already underestimated your abilities once,
I will not let that happen again.
I'd like you to head up this case from here on out.
I believe this file belongs to you.
- I appreciate your confidence in me, sir.
How soon do I leave?
- Oh, you'll be going very soon.
- I won't let you down.
- Oh, I know you won't.
Praise him.
- Damn, that's messed up.
- So wait, you're saying that's a true story.
All that really happened.
- Indeed it did.
- I call bullshit.
If that really happened,
then how come the baby and its freaky ass mother
haven't taken over the world yet?
- Because that time has not yet come to be.
Be patient my friend.
All will happen in due time.
Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones spared,
should they find you worthy enough.
- You know what?
I'll mark my calendar for all that.
- I don't think that would be a bad idea.
- Okay. All right.
So can we go now?
I mean, seriously, this is fucking stupid.
- Bro.
- No, you guys go ahead and stay.
I'm gonna get another beer.
At least that will bring me up.
- I'll come with you.
- Oh, I bet you will.
- Sit down. Please.
- Don't worry, it never takes him long anyway.
At least that's what Sage says.
- Huh, well, your mom didn't complain
the other night, so..
- Get some new material.
- Whatever.
Anyways, continue on with your next story,
without a side show, Bob, okay.
We've got better things to do.
And I've.
Come on, babe.
- Yo, just don't do it in my car.
- No promises.
- I'm dead ass.
I'm not trying to burn my back seats later.
- I'm sure we can get along without him.
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes.
Here it is.
This belonged to a group of friends
who went on a fishing trip one weekend.
Unfortunately for them,
they got a little more than they bargained for.
- Oh my God.
- What's your problem?
- Look I don't have any service out here.
- Yeah. We're out in the middle of nowhere.
What do you expect?
- I know that.
It's just, I figured I would have like something.
- Okay. We came out here to relax.
So, put the phone down,
and relax.
- What have you been doing?
- I'm baking you a cake, honey.
- What are you doing?
- Oh my God, I'm building a campfire.
What does it look like?
- Okay. Whatever.
I just don't want McGruff to come out here
and start freaking out about forest fires
and being on drugs.
- What in the fuck are you talking about?
- What? Don't you remember in like grade school McGruff
would come to our schools and he would go off
about setting forest fires and being on drugs.
- Sweetie, McGruff wanted you to, I don't know,
take a bite out of crying.
Smokey the Bear cared about forest fires.
- Oh, oh yeah.
I totally get them like confused all the time.
- Of course you do.
- Why are you even doing this?
It is hot as hell out here.
- Cause I brought some hot dogs we can roast later.
- That's nasty.
I don't like hot dogs.
- It's okay, I got marshmallows too.
- Well, I don't like those either.
They look like balls.
- Okay. How about if we sit around the campfire
and tell ghost stories?
- Oh, I like ghost stories.
You know what my favorite one is?
Oh my God, it's so scary.
It's the guy with the hook for the hand.
It's so scary.
- Sweetie, that's not a ghost story.
That's an urban legend.
- What does that mean?
- See, a ghost story generally contains one or more ghosts.
That's just a story about a dude with a hook for a hand.
- Well, I don't care.
It was really scary
and my uncle used to tell it to me all the time,
and I would have like nightmares for weeks.
- Speaking of scary.
Have you heard about all the disappearances
around here lately?
- The what?
- There are people who've come out here
and they just disappear without a trace.
- What people?
- Like campers, hikers.
They just come out here
and no one ever sees them again.
- Here?
- Yeah.
Right here. These woods.
- Well what happened to them?
- They disappeared without a trace.
So nobody knows what happened to them.
- Well, why would you bring us here then?
- That'd be fun for shits and giggles.
- Well, you're a shit and I don't like it.
It's scary.
- Don't worry, honey.
I'll protect you.
- Well, you can't even start a fire.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
- Yeah. Now you do.
Are you a little more relaxed now?
- I could be.
- A little more relaxed.
- Definitely now.
- I'm sure you do
more relaxed now.
- Oh, I definitely could be.
- What was that?
- What was what?
- Oh, didn't you hear that?
- No. What did you hear?
- What if it's the guy with the hook?
- Sweetie, you do know animals live out here, right?
- Well, what if it's a ghost?
No!
- It's a good thing you're hot.
- Right?
- I'll go check it out, okay.
- No don't go.
- Don't worry.
Look, I'm armed and dangerous, okay.
Be right back.
- You better be.
- I'll be right back.
Hey Mr. Racoon.
Sorry if I have to bludgeon you,
but apparently my girlfriend's a.
And a food snob.
Who doesn't like girl scout cookies?
Yeah, just as I suspected, nothing.
- Miranda?
Where are you?
Okay. I am done with urban ghost legends.
Like I just wanna go home.
Miranda!
Fuck this.
Miranda!
Miranda, this is not funny.
I wanna go home.
Miranda?
Miranda, this is not funny.
I wanna go home.
- My sunscreen.
I got my bug spray.
Gotta have my toothbrush.
Let's see, I got my..
- Good morning.
- Morning. I got my
- Really? I mean seriously, do you have everything?
- I think so, babe.
- Because you know, you can't fit much more in that bag.
- You can never be too prepared, hun.
- Aw, my little boy scout.
You're always so prepared.
- Rather have it than not need it
than need it and not have it, babe.
- Okay. Well, how come you didn't have condoms
when we were first dating? Hmm.
- Well, because baby, I'm a allergic to latex, remember?
- I am still trying to believe you on that one.
- It's true, scout's honor.
- Yeah. Okay, whatever.
- Are you sure you don't wanna go?
- I'm sure.
I mean, I think when we go camping is not a good idea.
The last time I went was in middle school
and that was a total nightmare.
So I'm perfectly contentious staying home.
- It's not a camping trip,
it's a fishing trip, babe, come on.
- They're the same thing.
Okay. You go to the lake,
you're in a cabin, in the woods, somewhere scary.
And there aren't any people around for like miles away.
I'd say it's the same exact thing.
It's totally different.
It's not the same thing.
It's not the same thing, babe.
Oh, I guess they're here.
I'm gonna miss you.
But guess what?
When I get back,
you're gonna have the biggest fish fry
you've ever seen in your entire life.
- Okay. Yeah.
And I'm gonna go to the market and get some fish sticks.
Just to, you know, play it on the safe side.
- All right, babe, I love you.
- I love you too, be careful.
- I will.
- Be safe.
- I will.
- Come home in one piece.
- Always.
- Okay. Whatever.
I love you, bye.
- last night.
- Your cousin?
- Oh fuck you.
It wasn't my cousin.
- Then who the hell was it?
- Mary Joe Bartlet.
Yeah. You want some?
- Get that shit out of my face.
- Yep. Just jealous.
- Nope. Still don't want to catch nothing from you.
- Hope you wore two rubbers.
Oh, Mary Joe so nasty,
her crabs have herpes.
- Finger-licking good.
- No talking about work, right?
We're here to fish.
We're here to fucking party.
have some fun.
Get whatever you guys want.
It's on the house, come on.
- Appreciate.
- Get some stuff guys, come on.
♪ Take it down here girl ♪
♪ Take it down here ♪
Oh, we got everything we need.
This is some place here, isn't it?
- Hey my man.
How's the fish biting today?
- Wouldn't know.
Been here all day working.
- Really cool little place you got here.
- It's a shithole.
This it or you want something else?
- Yeah, I probably get some bait too.
We're heading up to Axtell today.
- What kind of bait do you want?
Worms, chicken livers.
- Whatever you recommend.
- It doesn't matter.
That place has been fished out for years.
Just worms.
Just get worms.
$77.59.
- All right. Well I got it guys.
I got it. I got it.
I got it.
- You sure?
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
- I don't got no change.
- I could've.
- For cash only.
- Let's go.
- Have a nice day.
♪ Whatever you have been. ♪
- Yeah, I Got it.
- Yeah, that was just something, huh?
Just got a nice tip out me, huh?
- Yeah. He's a charming fellow.
- You sure did.
- Yeah. Real generous guy.
- What are you doing here?
I told you to stay the hell away from here.
- Just doing some shopping.
Ain't nothing wrong with that, is there?
- All right, let's go guys.
- Hey Morris.
- Hey, how you doing?
- I just wanna apologize for Mr. Sunshine in there.
We ain't all assholes around these parts.
I promise you.
I'm Edgar.
- Hey Edgar, Howie, Randy and John.
Nice to meet you.
- How you doing?
- Hey, did I hear you guys were planning
on going fishing up at Axtell?
- That's right.
- You might wanna listen to Mr. Sunshine,
'cause yeah, that place been fished out
for a couple years now.
- Oh, really?
- Oh yeah. It's empty.
I do know a better place though.
- Where's that?
- It's called Cove Ran.
I fish some great outta there about a week ago.
Place is so stocked, fish would be jumping in your net.
- Yeah. But the only thing is, it's private property.
- Yeah, it is.
It's my sister's place.
I was planning on doing some fishing up there myself.
Your boys are welcome to tag along.
- You know what? I appreciate.
But we already gotta place a cabin out in Axtell.
- I hate to inform you boys,
but those cabins got bulldozed a few months ago
to make room for a new titty bar.
- What?
- A titty bar?
- I knew we should have called ahead of time.
What are we supposed to do now?
Go camping out in the woods without a tent?
- Fuck that.
- Well, my sister's got a cabin up there.
Y'all welcome to sack out there and no charge
since you're in a little bit of a pickle.
- I don't know. What do you guys think?
- Sounds fine to me.
- It's not like we got any choice.
- So what's verdict boys?
- Guess we'll take you up on your offer.
Certainly appreciate it.
- You welcome.
All right, well just follow me up.
It's just up the road a piece.
- Let's go.
- Finally we get here.
- Thought he said it was just up the road.
- Yeah. About an hour up the road.
- Oh man.
- This is it guys.
- Well boys, I'm gonna head on down to the lake.
Y'all are welcome to a company me
or you wanna get yourself situated in the cabin,
get your stuff in there.
Door's unlocked.
Help yourself.
- I'm ready to do some fishing now.
- Yep.
- You know what guys?
I don't think it's a good idea to leave
our stuff in the car.
Let's take our stuff in first.
- You take it in man, I'm going fishing.
- Oh, hell yes!
- Yes.
- There's a path just behind the cabin,
lake's just a little ways down the path.
You can't miss it.
- Just behind the cabin.
- Yeah, just five or six miles.
- Yeah. Right?
- , huh guys?
- Guess so.
- Thanks a lot.
- Here, take this,
by time you get down there it'll be dark.
See you in a bit.
- Thank you.
And don't forget,
we're all counting on you.
- Don't forget my tip.
- Jeez, some friends they are.
- What the..
- What was that?
- We got a lot of birds out here,
make some pretty in interesting noises.
- Jesus Christ, man!
Are we almost there or what?
- Yeah. And if I known we're gonna be blare witching it out
in this bitch, I would've brought a machete with me
to clear the way.
- Right?
- We're almost there boys.
It's just a up yonder a piece.
- Oh, just up yonder a piece now.
- Just up yonder a piece.
- Come on.
- Pretty cool, huh?
- Very cool.
- Yeah.
- And hanging out with you guys is worth it.
- It was a long trip, but we made it.
- You boys here to catch fish or scare fish?
- Ah, the fish can't hear above water.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, you know what though?
Howie should have been back by now.
It's been a while.
- Who cares about Howie?
Why do we even bring him along?
He's not even drunk yet and he's already
a big pain in the ass.
- He's been up there a while.
I think I'm gonna go get him.
- You do what you want.
I'm staying right here.
- I don't think you want to head up there alone.
These trails can get pretty tricky.
Especially with it starting to get dark soon.
I'll come up with you.
You watch my pole?
- Yeah, sure. All day.
- We'll be back.
- Come on, let's go.
- See you guys when you get back,
I gotta take a piss.
♪ River ♪
♪ Wider than a ♪
- What the hell!
Looks like somebody got murdered.
- Somebody did.
- What the fuck?
- I'm sorry.
I really am.
- You killed Howie!
You fucking killed all of them!
- I didn't kill anybody, she did.
- What you talking about you sick fuck?
Who's she?
- Look, I had to bring everybody here, all right.
I had to let her eat.
I couldn't just let her starve.
- Well, come on, relax man.
- It's not her fault either.
It's that thing that bit her that night.
- What thing?
- I don't know what the hell it was,
something out in the woods.
Ever since it bit her, she's been like this.
I couldn't just leave her.
- Why didn't you get help for her?
- Who the hell's gonna believe me?
- Point taken, but it wasn't our fault either.
And you killed everybody!
And we trusted you.
And what are you gonna do now?
You're just gonna kill me.
That's fucked up.
- You should go.
You should just go.
She's already eating your buddy,
I'm sure she's fine for a while.
Just go.
- Okay. But you come with me.
- I can't, she's my sister.
I can't just abandon her.
Just go.
- Get the fuck away from me bitch.
You just ate.
- Lily, I'm sorry.
I love you, but I cannot do this anymore.
I'm sorry, I just, I can't do it.
- Thank you.
- Fuck you sun.
God damn!
- Where is that bunch of assholes?
- What the fuck?
- Randy, come on.
around.
Randy?
- Oh my God!
- All right, now that story, that was hot.
I like that one.
That was cool.
- Definitely makes me never wanna go
to my uncle's cabin ever again.
- Facts. But nah, that was a very good one man.
- Too bad your friends weren't here to enjoy it as well.
- Their loss.
- They've been gone quite some time.
You don't suppose anything is wrong, do you?
- Other than Kyle having sex,
'cause that's just wrong anyway you look at it.
- Nah, I'm sure they fine.
Don't worry about them.
I'm actually happy they're gone anyway.
to hear more
of Kyle's stupid ass comments again.
- Amen.
- Good. Now let's get on with it, shall we?
- Something wrong?
- Not at all.
I'm just having a little trouble locating the item
that goes along with our next story.
I must have left it in my trailer.
Do be patient my friend.
I shall return momentarily.
- I didn't see a trailer when we came in, did you?
- No.
Can we go?
He's creeping me out.
Now's the perfect time to go.
His eyes, like, something's not right with him.
- Come on, stop being so scared.
Like, matter of fact, let's check some stuff out
while he's gone.
- No, no.
- Babe, please, come on.
I promise, it's gonna be okay.
We're gonna be fine, come on.
- Stupid.
- It's okay, it happens sometimes.
- Not to me it doesn't.
Must be 'cause all the fucking beer we drunk
or something, I don't know.
- It's fine. Don't be upset.
- For God's sake, don't tell Alex,
whatever you do, I'm serious.
I'd never hear the end of it.
That's why she fucking.
- We can try again later if you want.
I mean, if you're up for it.
- The fuck that supposed to mean?
- Nothing. That's not what I meant.
You know what I mean.
- I know, I don't know what you fucking mean.
- Where are you going?
- To take a fucking piss!
At least it's good for that, huh?
- I knew I should have given him one of them blue pills.
- Fucking bullshit.
- Sage?
Riley?
Riley if that's you, I swear to God,
I'm gonna beat the shit outta you.
Not in the mood for your fucking bullshit.
And what the are you supposed to be?
- What is taking him so long?
Takes forever.
It's fucking true.
Kyle?
Is that you?
Kyle, stop playing...
Who the fuck are you?
Stop!
Please, help me.
Help me.
- Now, why would I do something like that?
- What?
- As you were.
- Stop!
Stop! Get off me!
Stop!
- this place really is, babe.
- Why are we still here?
- this is cool.
- No, it's not.
We need to...
- Terribly sorry about that.
- Nah, you good, man.
You found what you were looking for?
- I certainly did.
I can't believe I left it back there.
After all, it is the crown jewel
of our collection in many ways.
I acquired it just this very morning.
- What's that?
- Yo, I had one of these when I was a kid.
I loved that thing.
- So did the person I acquired it from.
You may say it one time, it was his only.
- Aw, that's sad.
- This is dope.
- One may say it is even sad what happened to him.
- What happened to him?
- He was a shy little guy.
His mother forced him to go to a birthday party thinking it
would help him make friends.
It was a decision both of them would learn to regret.
- Okay. everyone.
Are you ready for the main event?
- Yeah.
- Let me introduce, Chuckles the Clown.
- Where'd you find this guy?
He is awesome.
Maybe a little too good.
- I know, right?
Listen to them, they're eating it up.
Fine by me though.
That means they'll pass out early
and then I can have some cake on my own.
- Thought men were supposed to be the pervs?
- Well, lucky for you, they're not.
Now get the candles on the cakes so we could get
the presents started for these little shits.
It's sad that Brian and Tracy couldn't make it today.
- Yeah, but Nick's sick.
We'll see them next week.
- Uh oh, we have a frowner.
- You get the candles on the cake
and I'll take care of that.
Hey, big guy, in case nobody told you the party's outside.
What are you doing moping around in here for?
- I don't really know.
- You're sad 'cause your buddy Nicholas couldn't make it.
- Yeah, I guess so, he's sick.
- Just has a fever,
you'll be push him in the mud again in a day or two.
You're missing the clown.
He's pretty cool.
I bet he could make you a shark or an alligator
or something out of a balloon,
or is that too lame?
- It's too lame, and plus, I don't like clowns.
I don't like their faces.
- Nah, he's not too bad at all.
You know who has a much scarier face?
Miss Christina.
All right big guy, I'm gonna head back outside.
Don't stay in here too long
'cause we're gonna do cake and pizza soon.
- Okay.
- All right.
- That day replays in my head every single night.
When I'm trying to sleep,
it's like a never ending nightmare.
It's like the clown is the master of my dreams,
and he's controlling me and he's watching me
and he's every single night.
- Cam, we've been through this multiple times
in the last 15 years.
You know there's nothing to be afraid of.
You told me yourself, the clown is dead.
- But what if he's not dead?
What if he's still out there waiting for me?
I don't know, lately I felt a presence,
you know, like somebody's waiting for me or watching me
or just hiding behind my eyes.
- Sometimes when we experience a traumatic event,
our bodies find a way of framing the event.
Sort of like a freeze frame of that moment in time,
where your brain just can't let go of it.
But we try and we try as hard as we can to get past it.
But it always stays with us.
It's our own choice.
If we wanna let it consume us
or if we wanna fight back and regain our control.
- I'm guessing you're going somewhere with this.
- The point is to concentrate on today.
- Well, I wish today would be over with already.
- Well, I think this will help you.
- What is it?
- It's an antipsychotic.
I want you to take it once a day.
- Okay.
- But only take the prescribed dosage.
Otherwise you could have symptoms of delirium
and that would make things much worse.
- All right, I got it.
- Cam, you've been coming to me ever since you were a kid,
and I am really proud of you
and the progress that you've made.
I know this time of year can be troublesome for you,
it always has been,
but you are here, I'm here and we're a team.
Now, you can do this.
You've always had this within you.
- Yeah. I guess you're right.
It's been 20 years.
- Well, I guess we're all done for today.
Same time next week okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.
But what if I do start seeing him again?
- Cam, I want you to repeat after me,
this isn't real.
- This isn't real.
- The clown is gone.
- He cannot hurt me anymore.
- I'm in full control.
- I am in full control.
- Now, see?
Don't you feel better?
- Yeah, actually a little bit.
- Okay. Well, so I'll see you at the same time next week.
And remember if you need me, you can call me.
My phone is always on for you.
- All right. Thanks.
- Sure.
Oh Cam, Happy Halloween.
- Yeah, you too.
Yes, 911.
I need help immediately.
Somebody broke into my house.
It's 322 Maple Avenue.
Please, hurry!
Come on, come on.
Nick, Nick, dude, you gotta get into my house right now.
Somebody broke in.
I don't fucking know.
Just get here.
- Well Cameron, we can definitely classify it
as a breaking and entering.
The bright side is,
it doesn't look like anything is missing.
- You sure? None of like my hockey stuff or anything?
- No, nothing. It checks out clean.
The only room that was roughed up a little bit was yours,
but it was just a couple of things thrown around.
- It's fine, I guess.
- I know. I'm sorry.
But you know, we usually do get a couple of break ins
around this time of year.
I mean, Halloween is tomorrow.
- Yeah, I know.
Thanks for coming over so quick.
- It's part of the job, bud, but you're welcome.
Say if you ever need anything, you give me a call, you hear?
- Good news is you didn't lose
any of your Star Wars.
- Yeah, that would've been an act of violence.
- But besides all this bullshit, are you okay?
How was your appointment today with Dr. Harris?
- It's the same as usual.
You know, a lot of, "how do you feel about that?"
And, "you're doing great."
She did tell me I've been making a lot
of progress lately though.
And that actually felt pretty good.
She said I was one of her best cases.
- Hey, good.
See, you got this.
I mean, you've been doing this stuff for what? 10 years?
It's bound to sink in at some point.
You can't be running around here
like one of those other psychopaths.
- Yeah, only when I'm off my meds.
Well look, thanks for coming over, man.
I appreciate it.
- Hey, no problem, dude, anytime.
- Still over tomorrow?
- Hell yeah.
Have a good night.
- You too.
Not again, not again.
Don't do this.
It isn't real.
None of this is real.
You're in control.
This happens every year.
It's not real.
It isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't real,
it isn't real.
What are you doing here?
- I came over to get a beer, I didn't expect to die for it.
- Why didn't you call me first?
- I did. You didn't get it?
- No, obviously.
Why are you laughing?
- Cause it's funny, dude.
- Drunk as shit, six o'clock in the morning,
sun's already up.
We're working our way home.
We pass by a playground with a tether ball thing.
We decide it's a great idea to play Drunk Tether Ball.
- Oh God.
- Five minutes in,
I spike it straight down into the girl's face.
- You did not!
- I swear to God.
- Oh my God.
Was she bleeding?
- No, dude, it didn't even leave a mark.
It just made a loud sound.
And I felt that for like a second.
- Oh my God.
Dude, that's funny.
Hey, I know today was a lot,
but honestly, are you okay?
- I don't know man.
Something weird's going on.
- Like what?
- I keep seeing stuff.
- I told you to stay off your sister's Tinder.
- Man, shut the fuck up. I'm being serious.
I Keep seeing clown stuff, man.
And it's not just any clown,
it's the clown from the birthday party, man, I..
- Jesus Christ, Cameron.
We've been over this.
There is no clown.
You didn't see anything, okay.
Look, I don't know where any of this is coming from,
but we've been over this a million times.
- They never caught the guy.
- What?
- After I got away,
I told the cops and they came
and they couldn't find any sign of him.
He was gone.
They never caught him.
I couldn't sleep for years.
I had to do something.
So I made myself believe that he was dead.
I even told my therapist that.
- So all this time,
you've been lying to me
and to everyone else.
I can't believe you, Cameron.
Like that is literally the shittiest thing I've ever heard.
How could you not tell me the whole story, dude?
Like, I can't believe you, man.
- I don't know, it was just my way of coping, I guess.
You don't know what it was like, man,
I was terrified every night.
- I'm just at a loss of words, Cam.
'Cause like, you lied to your therapist too?
What the fuck!
They're trying to help you, dude.
Like, you honestly think that the guy is still alive.
It's been 20 years, 20 years.
- I don't know, man.
If they've never caught him like...
- Listen, listen, let's just stop talking about it.
- Yeah.
You been on my sister's Tinder lately?
- What? Fuck no.
- Come on, man.
I know the way you look at her when she's around.
- I'm getting another beer.
- Hey, grab me one too.
- You got it.
- Nick! Nick! Nick!
Nick, I just saw him.
He's outside.
- Who?
- The clown!
- There's no clown, dude.
- Nick, dude, I swear to God, I saw him.
He was right there.
He was right across the fire.
- There's never been a clown.
It's all in your head.
What?
- He's in the house!
- Where dude?
- He's up, he just went out the stairs.
- Listen, I'm gonna go up and check,
but then I'm gonna get you a Valium.
- Nick, wait!
- You know, out of the two of us,
I pinned you to be the smarter one.
But today I won the golden ticket.
- What the hell does that mean?
- It means that there's no one else in this house
except for the two of us.
And I'm going home.
- Nick, I'm serious, man.
- Me too, man.
Look, I love you dude,
but later this week we're having a serious conversation.
- Isn't real.
Isn't real.
Nick.
Nick!
I'm so sorry, Nick.
It isn't real.
You're not real.
You're not real!
yourself together.
It's not real.
No!
- Holy shit!
- What?
- I've heard all this stuff before.
Well, the birthday stuff anyway.
- How'd you hear about it?
- My parents and older brother,
they used to live in the same town before I moved here.
I wasn't born yet though.
I don't talk about it.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
Ask my mom that about it sometime.
- Creepy.
- Yeah.
- And do you want to know what the best part is?
- What's that?
- When Cobalt kills his victims, their souls become his.
There is no going to heaven or hell,
they have to do what he tells them to for all eternity.
Do you want to know how I know this?
- How?
- Because I was at that party too.
I went there to take my little brother.
He insisted I escort him inside to the door,
because there was a clown and he was afraid.
- You're shitting us, right?
Like this is all part of your act, right?
- No, I'm not shitting you.
I belong to Cobalt.
And now, so do you.
- What!
- Ah, come on in, don't be shy.
They're waiting for you.
- This isn't happening.
This isn't happening!
- Ah, but it is.
- All right, we gotta get back to the car.
Okay, c'mon.
- Okay.
Get off me!
- Strawberry.
- Somebody help me.
Oh, God.
Oh my God!
Help! Help!
Please.
- Alex, help me please, help.
Alex, I'm hurt.
- Sage, is that you?
- Please help me.
- Are you hurt?
Where are you?
- I'm hurt.
Alex, help me please.
- Sage.
- I'm hurt.
- Where are you?
- Please help me.
- Okay, I'm gonna come and get you, okay.
- Alex, help, I'm over here.
- I can't find you.
- I'm hurt really bad.
Please!
- Sage.
- Alex!
- Where are you?
Sage?
Sage!
Sage?
Come on, we gotta get outta here.
Go to the car.
My God, Sage!
- Thank you for coming to the show, Alex.
- Hello, Alex?
Where are you?
You should have been home hours ago.
- Hello.
- Who is this?
This is not funny.
Stop messing around, Alex.
- I'm sorry dear.
She's busy enjoying the show.
- Where's Alex?
Who is this?
Where's my daughter?
Where's my baby?