[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hey. Good morning.
Hey, how'd you sleep? You know what?
I want to have Chinese food for dinner tonight.
That sound good?
- Uh-uh. No. No way.
I'm not pretending like nothing happened last night
and not talking about it.
- Okay, yes. Plenty happened last night,
but nothing that we need to talk about anymore.
Except we are out of dark roast.
Now, I primed some more, but if you are desperate,
I'll just steal some from the teacher's lounge.
- Cut the bullshit, Gary. It's not about the coffee.
Yes, it is about the coffee. - Here.
- Thank you. And please steal some from your work,
but we need to talk about what happened at my work.
And what could have happened
if someone saw that scene you caused.
- Okay. You know what? You are right.
My behavior in front of your colleagues,
Bree, it was unacceptable. And Bree, I'm sorry.
- Uh-uh. No, don't do that. Don't you dare do that.
You are not apologizing. You are agreeing.
You are agreegilizing. You are--
you're apologeering. I don't know.
That could be a thing. But don't do that.
- Okay, so you're mad because I won't fight?
- No, you just want to sweep it under the rug.
And that's how I know you're angry.
We need to talk about what happened with Jesús.
- Yeah, I didn't extend his contract.
Told the kids that he joined the space program.
And, yeah, everything is fine.
- Everything's fine? - Everything's fine.
- You're fine.
- I am more than fine, Bree. I slept on it. I meditated.
I prayed to every God that I could find on Google.
And, yeah, I'm good.
- You're good. That's great. - Yeah.
- You sure you're good? - I'm so good.
- ♪ Pull up, pull up, pull up, pull up ♪
♪ Pull up, pull up, pull up ♪
- ♪ Stop! ♪
- ♪ Play this again ♪
[line trilling]
- Ari, where-- where were you this morning?
- The ticket Vanessa sent is for next weekend.
She booked the wrong flight, David.
- Wait. What?
Vanessa booked your flight for next weekend?
- Negro, did I stutter?
Yes. Next weekend.
- Busy day, D.
We only have half an hour for lunch.
- Thanks, Van. You mind giving us a minute?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Actually, I'd like Van to stay, if that's okay, D.
I'd like to know why my flight itinerary was incorrect.
- Ari, I apologize for all the confusion.
I reserved the exact flight you requested.
Except the wrong date. Once I realized my mistake,
I contacted the airline, rebooked another flight,
and emailed you the updated itinerary immediately,
but I guess you didn't get it.
- No, Vanessa. I didn't get a new itinerary
nor did I get an email or a text to confirm receipt.
- But I assure you I sent it.
- I don't know if you're lying or incompetent,
or maybe both, but it's unacceptable.
- Ari, that's enough. Okay.
Let-- let's all just take a breath.
Vanessa, can you please give us a minute alone?
- I don't trust her, David. I think she's lying.
- Ari, come on. The poor-- the poor girl made a mistake.
She apologized. It's not like she wanted you to miss this.
- You sure about that?
And she's not a poor girl, David.
She's a grown-ass woman
with a job for which she needs to be held accountable.
- Look, I'm just as upset as you.
But we're on opposite coasts
with extremely different schedules.
Sometimes these things just happen.
- I gotta go.
- I mean, look, I would change if--
[disconnection chime]
Okay.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- It troubles me to have to do this,
but this is not your parents' pantry.
- Yeah, man. Oh, wow. Look at this.
- For example, I'd like to grab a lozenge
but they seem to be missing. Again.
- Damn. What kind of ab exercise is that?
- As is the dark roast coffee. Again.
- One, two.
- Please. Stop stealing from the teachers' lounge.
- Like a fake-ass Jason Momoa. - Hey.
- Gary, care to update us on the Healthy Kids initiative?
- [sighs]
- Gary?
- [softly] Can't believe this.
- [clears throat] Gary!
- Oh, my God! Uh-oh. I'm so-- I am so sorry. Of course. Yes.
Just reviewing some notes, in my phone about the, um--
The, uh--the--
- Healthy Kids. - Initiative. Thank you.
I was--this close. Healthy Kids initiative.
'Cause we have to get these kids to eat more.
Or less. Or--more good stuff, less junk food.
- Mm. - Actually, there's a PSA.
I was gonna screen it at the kick-off event.
But you know what?
There's no time like the present. Enjoy.
[upbeat orchestral music]
- Healthy kids!
- Mealtime should be a family event.
And healthy kids, they need healthy foods,
including all the major food.
[upbeat dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- You know there's more than one way to eat clean, though.
Right, daddy? - Oh.
- Claro que sí, mami. Que rico.
- Parents need to set a good example.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
If mom and dad eat right, then so will the kids.
[screaming]
Oh!
Make healthy choices for healthy kids.
- Healthy kids!
- Smells like dark roast.
Care to share where you got that, Gary?
- I wonder. - Oh, Gary.
[quirky jazz music]
- All right. Let's have our next presentation.
A little less theatrics. You ready?
[whimpers]
- On behalf of Ladies First and, obviously, Hazel Rachelle,
welcome to your artist-in-residence bootcamp.
- It's very, uh, Hazel.
Narcissistic chic. - [chuckles]
I know. You're welcome.
[upbeat laid-back music]
- That's a lot of marble.
- The showcase is coming up, and there's a lot to prepare,
so in this rare occasion
and under these very limited conditions,
mi casa es su casa.
- This really feels like
such a bad idea on so many levels.
However, since it's not level basement,
which is where my apartment is, I'll work through it.
What showcase?
- Oh.
Ladies First is sponsoring a new artist showcase.
- I'm not a new artist.
- Well, you are to FAI and they own my label.
It will be a great opportunity for them to meet you,
so they can sign off.
- So you signed me, but you didn't really sign me.
How is this your label? - [chuckles]
Because it is. [scoffs]
Tick-tock.
Time is money. We should get started.
- Time is a construct of the patriarchy.
- Oh, Lord, give me strength.
- All set. Get comfortable, girl.
You're no stranger around here.
- Mm, thank you. - Yes.
- Mwah.
My sexy Jamaican King.
- Anytime, my Nubian goddess.
♪ ♪
- Yeah, you just did that in the elevator.
Y'all gonna do this every single time you see each other?
- Oh, girl, here's hoping.
- Regina, I know when we were talking contracts,
I said we were broke
but you really didn't have to bring your own dishes.
- These are singing bowls. For healing.
- Oh, good.
I've been meaning to get some of those.
Give her the itinerary.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, thank you.
Settle in and rest up.
We are going to hit the ground running.
The legend, Walker Lamont, is coming at 9:00.
- Walker Lamont? - Uh-huh.
- The Walker Lamont? - Yeah.
- Won a Grammy for Producer of the Year
three times in a row?
And only missing the "T" in EGOT?
- Yes, he's going to help us with one of the songs.
- Now, this isn't some cousin you call Walker Lamont?
- It's the Walker Lamont. He's a friend.
- Damn. You finally impressed me.
Next time, open with that. Oh, do you have a tub?
I love to soak in lavender and goat's milk twice a day.
- Oh, this bitch is crazy.
Uh, that's--that's my room.
- My client is fine with keeping this party modest.
It's your client who wants to make a kids' birthday party
into a social event.
And between us, seven isn't even a milestone year.
- It's either a party or my client
takes the twins to Disneyland in Paris.
- Well, my client has put forth the Party Family Fun Zone.
It has a ball pit and a bounce house,
supervision for the kids, and no clean up.
- My client prefers to spare her children
of a staph infection 'cause that's nasty.
She proposes a nature-themed backyard party at the Waldorf,
an elegant affair geared toward someone of my client's means.
- All right. If you expect my client to foot half the bill
for an exorbitant PR stunt for your client's company,
you might as well have
Anonomou(sly)'s marketing department cover the cost.
I thought this was for the children.
- Fine. But my client is more than willing to host the party
in her own backyard
where the children will feel safe in their mother's arms.
- Ah. Yeah, well, my client wants a ball pit.
- Bouncy house. - Trampoline.
- Fine. What's the split?
- He'll cover the cake. Your client may pick the flavor.
- Vanilla. No sugar.
- Oh, for God's sake, these are children.
- 50% reduced sugar
or your client is responsible for property damage
caused by children on a sugar high.
- Fine. - Guest list?
- No in-laws.
- No Waffle Ho, AKA Crystal Grant.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Deal.
- Now, that wasn't so hard now, was it?
- Waffle Ho? - Mm-hmm.
- That's a good one. - Yeah, it is. [chuckles]
Be careful. I might tell you my name for you.
- Is it Jakeypoo? - [chuckles]
- You want-- you know what yours is?
- Enlighten me.
- Jay-licious. - Okay, and I'm done.
- [chuckles] - And I'm done. Now I'm done.
That's why I'm getting a bouncy house.
- Come on.
[peaceful piano music]
[music stops]
- Yeah, did you get a chance to check out the demo?
- Yep. Got it, Walker.
Can you play a little bit so I can warm up?
- Yeah. Let's get it.
♪ ♪
- ♪ [vocalizing] ♪
♪ ♪
- Damn, girl, you still got it, huh?
[all chuckling]
- He thought we were playing around here, huh?
- Apparently not. All right. Let's try from the first verse.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Wrapped in your arms, falling deeper, babe ♪
♪ Wanna stretch this moment to forever, baby ♪
♪ So blinded by love-- ♪
- What is she doing?
- ♪ You make me feel like I'm dreaming ♪
[music stops]
- Uh, yeah. Let me get you a lyric sheet.
- No, I got it. I just tweaked the words
a little bit so they sound more authentic to me. You know?
- Yeah, I respect that, but let's try hitting
some of the original lyrics first, okay?
- What's with all this lovey-dovey stuff?
This is supposed to be a heartbreak song.
Think sad Mary J Blige.
Sad Mary J Blige is multi-platinum.
- Yep. - That's not where I'm at.
I'm more love and light right now.
That's the headspace I'm in.
- Mm. Making money. That's the headspace we're in.
[chuckles]
- Yeah. Why don't we sing this song
as written by the nice genius with all the hits?
- Because I'm not your puppet. That's why.
- This is my company.
I hold the purse strings so I get to pull your strings, kay?
- I actually hold the purse strings.
together: Shut up, Curtis.
- I know that's how you and Derek used to work.
You know, you being whatever artist he told you to be,
but that's not the kind of artist I am.
- Do you mean artist or waitress?
- Ladies, ladies.
Apparently, there's something going on between you two
and I don't want to be in it. So, yeah.
- Wait. You're leaving?
- Haze, I don't do drama anymore.
Life's too short.
So when you two are ready to really work, give me a call.
- No, no. - No. No, no, no. Okay, wait.
Walker, Walker,
I have some fresh Bundt cake with your name all over it.
[dramatic hip-hop music]
together: See what you did? Don't you put this one me!
This is all your fault! I'm so done with you!
♪ ♪
[boxing bell rings]
♪ ♪
- Gary is all in his feelings, now about Jesús,
but he won't cop to it. But you know what?
He did this shit in the first place.
If he wouldn'ta hooked up with that carpool ho...
we wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place.
- Oh, that's facts 'cause Gary is not the victim here.
Men will burn your whole shit down and then when you book
a night at the Marriott, it's a problem.
- Exactly. I mean, the audacity of him to embarrass me
in front of Dr. Reynard and all the whites at my job.
- Not the Karens. What'd Dr. Reynard say?
- Oh, girl, I've been avoiding him like the potato salad
with the raisins at the cook out.
- Are you serious? Just talk to him, Bree.
It may not be that bad.
- Well, it certainly can't be as bad as this.
I mean, I'm gonna stick to my Peloton. Let's be honest.
[boxing bell rings]
- Switch!
Switch!
- Okay.
Why is she acting like we just stole something
out of her purse? - You!
Stop talking. - Okay, Jillian Michaels.
I'm just here to, like, raise my heartbeat.
- I said, stop talkin'!
- ♪ Bust it, bust it down ♪
♪ Bust it down, bust it down, bust it down ♪
♪ Bust it down, bust it down ♪
[indistinct chatter]
- Dr. Reynard. - Dr. Washington.
- Hi. Do you have a minute?
- Yes. Everything okay? - Yes.
I just really want to apologize
for that weirdness at the cocktail party.
- Oh. I gotta tell you, Dr. Washington,
the Board was really pleased with you.
You made quite an impression. - Oh, thank God.
I thought that "Love and Hip Hop" moment
might have cancelled me out.
- No. You're good. - My God, you are so nice.
Oh. Okay. Thank you--
- Yes. - Dr. Reynard,
for being so chill about this, and TMI, Gary and I
were going through some personal issues that night.
- Oh, hey, listen.
I'm no stranger to marital spats,
especially at inopportune times.
- Mm.
- Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
- Right? - Yeah.
- It's so rough. - Yeah.
Second to brain surgery.
- How did you guys get through the rough patch?
- We got divorced.
Hey, I'll take, uh, number seven.
- I'm just so sorry to hear that.
- Oh, we thought it was better to end things
than to let things fester
and have two people resentful and totally unhappy.
Some things are not meant to be, Dr. Washington.
Thanks. - That's so beautiful.
You should put that on a magnet.
- [laughs]
No.
Have a good lunch, Dr. Washington.
- Mm-hmm.
[upbeat music]
Are these fortune cookies free?
I was gonna take this because I'm here.
- I feel like-- I feel like I'm going crazy.
I really do, because everywhere I go,
I see this dude fucking my wife.
You know? And he was probably just laughing at me
the whole time he's in my house, just plotting.
Plotting the next time he'd have his face
in my wife's crotch.
And I'm sorry that I'm being so graphic.
It's just I don't have anybody else that I can talk to.
I can't tell my boys that Bree fucked somebody else.
How am I gonna say that?
- So, Bree having sex with somebody else
is a stain on your image.
This would be considered a failure to your friends.
- Uh, yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- [scoffs softly]
- Have you tried talking to Bree?
- She doesn't get it. Bree doesn't get it.
Bree don't get how I feel.
- And how do you feel, Gary? - Betrayed.
Bamboozled. Hoodwinked.
I'm--I'm--I'm pissed. But I'm hurt too. You know?
- And Bree couldn't possibly know
what that kind of betrayal feels like, huh?
- Okay. [chuckles] I see what you're doing.
Yes. There is a similarity. Obviously, I see that.
But it's not the same. It is not the same at all.
- How is a similarity not the same at all?
- Because, okay?
When I did what I did, right, to her, it--
it's like--
So when I did what I--
[soft dramatic music]
Oh, shit. It's the same.
♪ ♪
- Mm-hmm. And maybe focusing on this guy
is a way to make you feel less guilty
instead of trying to empathize with Bree.
- [sighs]
"Empathy is about finding echoes
of another person in yourself."
That's one of my favorite quotes.
Let that sink in for a minute.
- Oh, this is definitely sinking. All the way down.
[sighs]
[soft dramatic music]
- ♪ I have been sober, only no more clover ♪
- Where are you, Gary?
- ♪ Falling like October, but now I'm colder ♪
♪ Please don't say it's over, please don't say it's over ♪
- Ugh.
- ♪ Take another shot and back to texting you ♪
♪ I got some things on my chest ♪
♪ That I need to say ♪
♪ You stuck up in your ways ♪
♪ I don't really care, don't take it, girl ♪
♪ I know I make mistakes ♪
♪ You act like I can't change ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm on my way ♪
- Damn it.
♪ ♪
- Whoa. What's going on here?
You leaving now, too? - Nigel, the ship is sinking.
If I were you, I'd catch the first rowboat back to...
[Jamaican accent] Jamaica.
- That's it. I'm outta here.
- I gotta hand it to you, Regina.
You have set a new record.
In less than 24 hours, you've managed to piss off--
[chuckles]
The only two people in this town willing to work with you.
One was me. The other was the legend himself.
And trust me, honey.
The only reason he worked with you was as a favor to me.
- No lies detected there.
- I'm not going to stay in a situation
where my voice is not valued.
- Same old Regina.
Always finding a new way to self-sabotage.
- Same old Hazel.
Always making everything about you.
- Curtis, see this bitch out.
- This bitch can see herself out.
- No, we can't just stand here, bro. We've got to do something.
- [scoffs] After you, Prince Charming.
- Don't worry. I got it.
Regina, didn't you say
that nothing makes you happier than singing?
And here is the chance to do what you love. So why not sing?
- I want to sing on my own terms,
without compromising my integrity.
- We all have to compromise.
But, it's not a sign of weakness.
It shows you're secure enough to be open to new ideas.
- [chuckles] Good effort, Nigel.
Listen, Regina, before you go, I just want you to know
I was a huge fan of yours back in the day.
- Oh, thank you, Curtis.
- I used to always wonder why you didn't make more music,
but now I guess I know it's because you're a quitter.
Yes, say what you will about Hazel, but she's a fighter.
The truth is you couldn't sing that song as written
so you just made up a reason to quit.
- Excuse me? I can't sing that simple song?
I could sing that song in my sleep.
- Oh.
- ♪ Swept me off my feet only to drop me, babe ♪
♪ You just let me keep fallin' ♪
♪ Didn't stop me, baby ♪
♪ So blinded by love I was trippin' ♪
♪ Could never hit the mark, we kept missin' ♪
♪ Took my breath away, then suffocate me ♪
♪ So I can't breathe ♪
♪ Don't make promises that you can't keep ♪
♪ Put back the pieces you broke ♪
♪ Give back the time that you stole ♪
♪ You said you'd never let go ♪
♪ Can't help but feel like you owe me ♪
- Oh, yes.
Think we'll find anybody that good by the time
the showcase runs around? Let me help you. We won't.
- I swear.
This is your last chance, Regina.
- I'll do the song. As written.
With a few extra runs for good measure.
- Fine. But don't overdo it.
This ain't a Baptist church solo.
- [chuckles] I could take it to church, though.
- Well-- - ♪ [vocalizing excessively] ♪
♪ Hey ♪
Girl, please. Save it for the studio, okay?
- Okay. - Curtis, call Walker.
Apologize and send him a gift.
Don't be cheap, okay?
Mwah.
Let's get to work.
- Do I have time for a quick bath?
[upbeat music]
- Look at us with the one-two punch.
- Well, you know, sometimes I use my powers for good.
Maybe--maybe--your speech helped.
- Curtis, are we becoming friends?
- No. No. You know what? And the moment has passed.
Please, the touching. - Hmm.
- ♪ I try to solves you all out but you ghost ♪
♪ You don't want to go to war for me ♪
♪ Time after time, play like it's fine ♪
♪ All in my mind, know that's it's a lie ♪
[notification chimes]
♪ How about the truth now ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Night after night walking on ice ♪
♪ I got the right to turn on the light ♪
♪ Tell me the truth now ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
- That's not me.
- ♪ 'Cause you make me feel like ♪
- Damn, girl. Where's the rest of your skirt?
- ♪ Something just ain't right ♪
- That's the tie I bought him for his birthday.
- ♪ Like I'm on the wrong side ♪
- Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?
- I'm still in New York. The car in front of me
tried to make a left and got clipped by a bus.
- I can't believe he actually lied to me.
- Hi, Teddy Bear! [indistinct baby talk]
- Hey, baby. - Bring your ass over here.
- Oh, my-- - The kids are with your mom.
I'm gonna have this out right now.
- Okay, can I just say one thing?
- Shh. Don't talk. Just listen.
Oh, wait. That's a Jodeci song. That was so good. [chuckles]
- I think we're good on the tequila. Yes.
- Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You want to know the truth?
'Cause I wanna tell you the truth.
It was so good to tell you that I slept with Jesús.
Uh-huh. That was sweet, sweet, and I loved it.
- [clears throat] That's fair. - Damn right it's fair, bitch.
But also, if I want the revenge,
then I'm not as over it as I thought it would be.
And that's just, like, really confusing right now.
- It is a hard thing to get over.
- Stop agreeing with me. Stop apologreeing. Okay?
I'm tryin' to fight with you.
I've been tryin' to fight for two days.
We need to fight this out.
- I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight.
Hey, honestly, Bree,
I didn't realize I just how much I had hurt you.
I mean, yes, I knew that it was wrong. I just--
I didn't fully understand what it meant to have someone
that you love share themselves with somebody else.
- Yeah. It sucks. - Yeah. It sucks.
- I just said that. It sucks.
- I feel like I got stabbed. With a rusty knife.
- And you got tetanus.
And your respiratory system failed
and you can't find your EpiPen
'cause it's at the bottom of your big purse
and you just stopped breathing. You can't breathe.
You feel you gonna die? Yeah, I've been there.
[soft dramatic music]
[sighs]
- I'm sorry. And I mean that.
No, Bree, Bree. I mean that. Okay?
I can't believe that I did that to you
and I promise that I will never ever do that again.
♪ ♪
- [sighs] Okay, well, you know I'm petty
and I really enjoyed all of that.
I really did, but damn, Gary, I got to apologize.
I got to say I am so sorry for the way I told you about Jesús.
That was wack.
- Yeah. No, it was wack. - That was so wack.
- Yeah, 'cause you just blurted it out.
- In front of so many people. - So many people.
- Like, rich, white people. - A lot of rich, white people.
- That's wack. - Yeah.
- [sighs]
Look. Get it out.
- Mm-mm. I'm good. I'm good. - Baby, have some. It's good.
Go on, get it. It's the expensive one.
- Okay, fuck it.
- [sighs]
♪ ♪
Oh, you just going in. Oh, oh. What? Oh.
- [coughs and chuckles]
Thank you. Real talk. Wrong and all.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna need a little time to get over this shit, Bree.
Okay? Now, I will actively be trying,
but it's going to take more than two days. I mean, damn.
- Okay. - [chuckles]
- Oh. Okay. Yes. - Oh!
- All right. You see that? This is good, baby.
- This is good. - This is very good.
- This is good. - That's very good.
- How were you gonna go and smash
a Spanish Insta-thot while we were separated?
- Oh, there's more. You have more.
- I mean, that man.
He needs to put on clothes, Bree.
He needs to put on clothes. And that's your type?
That's what you're, like, into?
I didn't know that. That's interesting.
I didn't know you was into that.
- Gary, it was like Antonio Banderas
or Ricky Martin had a baby. How could I not?
- And he ain't cute. I mean, he's not cute like me.
Sure, the motherfucker is, like, you know,
gorgeous or whatever. So what? Let me ask you this.
Can he lick it and click it at the same damn time like I do?
- No, boo, he cannot. - All right.
[upbeat music]
- Take that bottle upstairs.
- You ain't said nothing--
- Go on. Let's go.
- No, I'm gonna show you up. You got it?
- Yeah, yeah. - Your leg sleep?
- Is the room spinning or is that just me?
- No, that's just you, babe.
- Right. Come on. I feel flexible.
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪ - ♪ Number one, yeah ♪
♪ I'm still number one ♪ - ♪ Hell yeah ♪
- ♪ Number one, always be number one ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ Held you down, took you from minor to major ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ You won't admit it ♪
♪ You're the fruits of my labor ♪
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪ - ♪ Number one, yeah ♪
♪ I'm still number one ♪ - ♪ Hell yeah ♪
- ♪ Number one, always be number one ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪
♪ Don't forget it, yeah, I'm still number one ♪
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
- [snaps] - Whoo!