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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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What? He was just at
the bar without any security or anything?
3
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:40,032
Wait,
I haven't gotten to the best part.
4
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:42,034
Next thing I know,
we're in his hotel room,
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00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:44,869
and he's lathering up my titties
with that little bar of soap.
6
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,505
It's crazy, because
I'm not even attracted to him.
7
00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:48,707
He's got no ass.
8
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,642
- You're more of an ass girl.
- Exactly.
9
00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:54,246
I like my men to have ass,
indeed. Okay?
10
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:55,747
I don't care if they can read.
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00:00:57,249 --> 00:00:58,516
But let me state,
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00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,919
Barack Obama straight fucked
the shit out of me.
13
00:01:01,053 --> 00:01:03,022
- What?
- But I couldn't even enjoy it.
14
00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:05,657
I was feeling so bad
for Michelle the whole time.
15
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:09,594
I told you not to read her book.
It's ruined all my fantasies about him.
16
00:01:09,728 --> 00:01:13,132
I can block out his mom jeans,
but not Sasha and Malia.
17
00:01:15,101 --> 00:01:16,534
What was his dick like
this time?
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00:01:16,668 --> 00:01:18,471
It was dignified and confident.
19
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That dick was presidential.
20
00:01:20,139 --> 00:01:22,375
- You want to shower first?
- Your hair takes longer.
21
00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:23,943
I'm just gonna dry shampoo.
22
00:01:24,076 --> 00:01:26,678
Why? It's not even greasy yet.
You're good.
23
00:01:26,811 --> 00:01:28,347
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
24
00:01:29,181 --> 00:01:32,084
Why is dream sex
way better than real sex?
25
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:34,220
Because they come
when you want them to.
26
00:01:34,353 --> 00:01:35,955
Girl,
that is so true!
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When I'm done, they're done!
Hello!
28
00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,453
- Hey.
- Hey.
29
00:02:40,585 --> 00:02:41,686
How was your night, Syd?
30
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,022
Yeah, how was that muffuletta?
31
00:02:43,155 --> 00:02:46,292
Oh, well, I ended up
eating the whole thing.
32
00:02:46,425 --> 00:02:50,728
And then I realized I didn't take the
paper out between the cheese slices.
33
00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:52,764
So I'm a little backed up.
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00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:54,766
- That's okay. Good fiber.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:02:54,899 --> 00:02:56,601
You're probably gonna
shit a novel.
36
00:02:56,734 --> 00:02:58,137
Oh, God,
I sure hope so.
37
00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:02,374
Wow, Syd. Let me step in
for a minute. Can I tap you out?
38
00:03:02,508 --> 00:03:04,909
Guess what? We have the best
makeup artist in the house.
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00:03:05,044 --> 00:03:06,811
One of the owners.
40
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:09,014
- Hey, B.
- Hey, girl, how you doing?
41
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:11,417
Did you finish up that
last batch of plum lipsticks?
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00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:12,518
Uh-huh.
43
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,120
Oh, my God.
44
00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:16,322
When did Mia mix that?
It's gorgeous.
45
00:03:16,455 --> 00:03:17,822
I know, right?
She's a genius.
46
00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:19,824
It's infuriating.
47
00:03:20,692 --> 00:03:21,826
These aren't done yet.
48
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:24,296
She didn't finish the mascaras?
49
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:27,333
I don't like snitching on
your non-sexual life partner.
50
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:28,867
Yes, you do, Barret.
51
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,803
She ate some weed candy
and said she'd finish tomorrow.
52
00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:35,040
Okay. I'll clean it up in a bit.
53
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:37,842
- So, where you headed to tonight?
- Uh, homecoming.
54
00:03:37,977 --> 00:03:39,844
Homecoming! Okay,
what color is your dress?
55
00:03:39,979 --> 00:03:41,679
- White and gold.
- White and gold...
56
00:03:41,813 --> 00:03:45,384
All right, so now
let's finish those eyebrows off.
57
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:49,787
They're great brows, too.
Never ever pluck them too much, okay?
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00:03:49,921 --> 00:03:52,657
'Cause thick
is where it's at!
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00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,792
- So gorgeous.
- Thank you.
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00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:56,895
- Homecoming, I hear?
- Yes.
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00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:59,198
- Can I see?
- First, I want you to say,
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00:03:59,331 --> 00:04:02,935
"I'm a badass bitch.
Look at me and bow down."
63
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,170
But don't tell your mom.
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00:04:04,303 --> 00:04:06,338
I'm a senior.
Give me a fucking break.
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00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:07,540
Oh, sorry.
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00:04:07,672 --> 00:04:08,873
Okay.
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00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:11,876
I'm a badass bitch.
Look at me and bow down.
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00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:14,046
Yes! Take a look.
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00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:15,880
Oh, my God.
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00:04:16,315 --> 00:04:17,550
That's me!
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00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:20,419
And remember,
no sex tonight, okay?
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00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:21,987
Homecoming sex
is the worst.
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00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:24,089
Because your date gets to
dancing, they get all sweaty,
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00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,225
and that sweat gets trapped
under their cummerbund,
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00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:29,528
then that moves down to Funkytown,
and that's how you get a yeast infection.
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00:04:29,662 --> 00:04:31,664
And you don't
want a yeast infection.
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00:04:31,796 --> 00:04:34,899
Plus, you know, you're only
super tight for a limited time,
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00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,701
so you don't
want to waste it.
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00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,137
Amen!
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00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:42,774
Thanks so much for everything.
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- All right.
- Bye, baby.
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00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,811
- You look gorgeous!
- Have fun tonight. Be safe!
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00:04:46,946 --> 00:04:49,114
If you not safe,
name it after me.
84
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:51,183
What... You didn't charge her
the full amount.
85
00:04:51,317 --> 00:04:53,118
We gave her
the cute nerd discount.
86
00:04:53,718 --> 00:04:54,987
We've talked about this.
87
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,721
Guys, we're barely keeping
our heads above water.
88
00:04:56,854 --> 00:04:59,824
We're doing fine. The One Night
Stand kit is selling like crazy.
89
00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:01,893
Yeah. I can't make them
fast enough.
90
00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:04,530
I know.
Maybe that's the problem.
91
00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:06,966
But if you can't get it,
that's what makes it cool.
92
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,668
Yeah. People love
being denied.
93
00:05:09,801 --> 00:05:11,403
Quality is what we do,
right?
94
00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:14,940
I mean, we don't want to mess
up our street cred. Right?
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00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,509
Right. Right.
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00:05:17,643 --> 00:05:19,411
All right, well, we're going
to Kim's baby shower.
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00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:20,646
See you guys tomorrow.
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00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,984
Actually, no. We'll be back.
We'll see you this afternoon.
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00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,586
Okay!
See you tomorrow!
100
00:05:45,938 --> 00:05:48,107
Kim's house get even bigger?
101
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,775
She probably had one of those
Japanese toilets installed
102
00:05:50,908 --> 00:05:52,378
that blow-dry
your coochie.
103
00:05:54,513 --> 00:05:55,780
Wow.
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00:05:55,913 --> 00:05:58,384
It must be nice
having money.
105
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Hi!
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00:06:00,252 --> 00:06:02,054
Hey!
107
00:06:03,589 --> 00:06:06,058
Hey!
108
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,627
You guys are so sweet
to always do our makeup.
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00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:10,429
We want you to look good,
and you do.
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- You look real good, pregnant girl!
- Oh, thank you.
111
00:06:13,632 --> 00:06:15,334
I actually feel amazing.
112
00:06:15,467 --> 00:06:17,336
Just wait.
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Little Ryder. He's such a little
cuddle bug, and so chubby!
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I know. His little fat folds
catch all the food I eat.
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Same, girl.
Same over here.
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Hi.
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00:06:27,746 --> 00:06:29,581
Hi. Perfect timing!
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00:06:29,715 --> 00:06:32,584
- Where should I put it?
- Over here is great. Come on in.
119
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:34,286
What did you guys do?
120
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:37,990
This is a little something...
to show your future.
121
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,025
What the...?
122
00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:42,261
Oh, my God.
123
00:06:42,394 --> 00:06:43,495
Oh.
124
00:06:43,629 --> 00:06:45,897
Is this vagina eating
this poor baby doll's head?
125
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,334
Is this chocolate sprinkles
your pubes?
126
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:51,303
Oh, my God.
This is so beautiful.
127
00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:54,406
You talking about this frosted
replica of your vagina?
128
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:57,776
- That's exactly what it looks like.
- Ew.
129
00:06:57,909 --> 00:06:59,812
I got completely waxed,
though.
130
00:06:59,945 --> 00:07:01,413
I want a clean work space
for the doctor.
131
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,750
That is so considerate!
I made them find it.
132
00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:07,353
I can't believe
you don't want one of these.
133
00:07:07,486 --> 00:07:10,489
- You talking about a pussy cake?
- No, a baby!
134
00:07:10,622 --> 00:07:13,258
- You know our business is our baby.
- Hell, yeah.
135
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,993
I know,
but I just get worried
136
00:07:15,127 --> 00:07:17,629
that you guys are gonna
wait too long and miss out.
137
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:20,399
- We got time.
- Yeah, Janet Jackson had a baby at 50.
138
00:07:20,532 --> 00:07:23,969
Exactly. And you can have
a successful career and a baby.
139
00:07:24,103 --> 00:07:25,537
I'm doing both.
140
00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:28,040
I'm losing my fucking mind!
141
00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:31,009
I had a dream last night that Ryder
was crawling around on the floor.
142
00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:33,045
There were
a bunch of mousetraps,
143
00:07:33,178 --> 00:07:37,915
and they kept taking pieces of him away
from me until there was nothing left.
144
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,685
Oh, you got to do it!
145
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,389
So how is the business going?
146
00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:46,924
I mean, we don't have shit tons of
money, but we're doing pretty great.
147
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,861
Oh, really?
Seriously?
148
00:07:48,994 --> 00:07:50,829
- Okay.
- So... you're okay?
149
00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:52,297
Online sales
are very strong.
150
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:55,000
And the store?
Is business picking up there?
151
00:07:55,134 --> 00:07:58,504
Well, homecoming season just started,
so we're getting those clients.
152
00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:01,140
- You guys should come and check it out!
- For sure.
153
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,243
- Oh, cute!
- Thank you, Aunt Margot.
154
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,245
Okay, what's next, what's next?
155
00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:10,015
- This one is from Mel and Mia.
- Oh, my God.
156
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:14,353
"Baby's First Makeup Kit."
157
00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:15,721
So cute.
158
00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:18,123
A little baby lipstick.
159
00:08:18,257 --> 00:08:21,193
Yeah, babies can use it.
Makes 'em look smaller.
160
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:24,096
- I'm gonna steal that baby's makeup.
- I know.
161
00:08:24,229 --> 00:08:26,131
Oh, my goodness,
this is so clever.
162
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:27,633
- Where'd you get this?
- We made it.
163
00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:30,102
- We have our own makeup company.
- Good for you.
164
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:35,107
My youngest daughter sold her alkaline
water company for four million dollars.
165
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,442
- Wha?
- Mm-hmm.
166
00:08:36,575 --> 00:08:38,143
Have you had a valuation
of your company yet?
167
00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:40,179
No, not yet,
Aunt Margot.
168
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,815
Oh, well, don't worry.
It comes at a cost.
169
00:08:42,948 --> 00:08:44,650
She's always
been so driven.
170
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:48,787
You know, she just had
her first baby last year.
171
00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:51,490
Well, congratulations,
Grandma Margot.
172
00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:54,827
Thank you.
173
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,894
Uh-huh.
174
00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:57,896
What a rude-ass woman!
175
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:02,067
What does she do? She just gives her
rich old husband hand jobs? I mean...
176
00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,336
I love when
you get mad like this.
177
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:07,105
I wish you would do this in people's faces.
Why you don't do that?
178
00:09:07,239 --> 00:09:10,576
- 'Cause I got you for that.
- This is true. I got your back.
179
00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:13,178
- She didn't know what she was talking about.
- Mm-hmm.
180
00:09:13,312 --> 00:09:15,080
"My daughter
with the uranium..."
181
00:09:15,214 --> 00:09:17,249
- You mean alkaline.
- Wasn't it uranium?
182
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,451
No, she said alkaline.
Alkaline water.
183
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:21,955
Trying to get people's
pH balance right.
184
00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:23,522
- I can't believe her.
- Mm-hmm.
185
00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:27,326
Let's keep it one hundred. Her daughter a ho.
186
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:30,462
Let's just keep it one hundred.
You know who she look like?
187
00:09:30,596 --> 00:09:33,899
She look like
a messed-up Betty White.
188
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,235
You know who she really looked like?
George Washington.
189
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,939
Yes! Like she straight off
the Quaker Oats box.
190
00:09:42,508 --> 00:09:45,210
I just look at her, and
I want to start boiling water.
191
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:51,550
- I got to open the window.
- It is kinda smoky.
192
00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:55,187
Man, I feel like eating
some oatmeal right now!
193
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,924
You feel me? Put some butter
and brown sugar in it.
194
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,159
Yeah, I got the munchies.
195
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,762
Is that your stomach?
196
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,298
It's Ryder.
197
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,434
- What?
- Somebody's here. Hi!
198
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,571
- Mm. Let me put this out.
- Wait, wait, wait.
199
00:10:12,704 --> 00:10:14,172
- Okay.
- Wow.
200
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,674
Girl.
201
00:10:15,807 --> 00:10:17,109
- He was so quiet.
- I know.
202
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,945
We didn't even
see him in there at all.
203
00:10:19,111 --> 00:10:21,480
- Girl, put that shit out.
- Oh, sorry.
204
00:10:21,813 --> 00:10:22,848
Ow!
205
00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:24,750
- Damn, girl.
- Oh, shit.
206
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:26,953
Oh, my God.
207
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,521
That baby
look like he smoking.
208
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:33,559
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up.
- No.
209
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,861
Let me get this.
Look at that.
210
00:10:35,995 --> 00:10:38,163
- Look at it.
- That's terrible. We're terrible people.
211
00:10:38,297 --> 00:10:40,465
We're not terrible people.
That baby sleeping good.
212
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,036
He probably gonna be a
philosopher when he grow up.
213
00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:51,577
You shouldn't be sick of them.
Just watch Ryder. He sleeps...
214
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:55,180
Oh, shoot. Here they come.
We got to hide.
215
00:10:55,314 --> 00:10:56,815
You need to see
a baby sleep to...
216
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,617
Out the window,
let's go.
217
00:10:59,851 --> 00:11:02,154
Come on.
Come on, come on.
218
00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:04,057
Ah!
219
00:11:04,189 --> 00:11:05,390
- Ah!
- Shoot.
220
00:11:05,524 --> 00:11:06,825
Okay.
221
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,795
I love our friends,
but I can't handle the judgment today.
222
00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:12,497
I think... I can do it.
I can jump in the pool. Let's go.
223
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:13,899
- We can make it.
- Hell, no!
224
00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:15,500
Come on. Let's do it.
Let's do it.
225
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:19,304
- What is that... smell? Is that weed? Kim!
- Ahh.
226
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:22,307
Oh, no, somebody's
been smoking weed in here.
227
00:11:22,441 --> 00:11:25,044
Who smokes weed in front of a baby?
228
00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:27,479
- Kim!
- What's going on?
229
00:11:27,613 --> 00:11:29,581
Is somebody out here?
230
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,652
What in the literal fuck?
231
00:11:33,785 --> 00:11:34,820
Hi.
232
00:11:34,954 --> 00:11:36,990
Kim!
Such a beautiful shower.
233
00:11:37,122 --> 00:11:38,958
- What did you guys do?
- Nothing!
234
00:11:39,092 --> 00:11:41,693
I'm so sorry,
but I don't think he was inhaling.
235
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,595
- What?
- It was just a tiny little bit.
236
00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:47,000
He didn't...
My baby was dead for, like, a minute?
237
00:11:47,132 --> 00:11:48,667
No. Your baby is fine.
Not high, nothing.
238
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,070
You guys, why didn't you
invite me to smoke with you?
239
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:53,739
You know what?
We are not in college anymore, okay?
240
00:11:53,872 --> 00:11:57,709
None of y'all bitches is better than
us, okay? All y'all got issues.
241
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,611
You know what else we got?
We have homes.
242
00:11:59,745 --> 00:12:01,546
Because we have
actual accountants.
243
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,617
And not just using TurboTax.
The trial disk of TurboTax!
244
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:07,586
You should get
at least the full version.
245
00:12:07,719 --> 00:12:09,788
- Mel, you are a mess.
- You stay off of Mel.
246
00:12:09,921 --> 00:12:13,492
Y'all need to understand, okay, this
is my friend, and she is a good person.
247
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,594
If it wasn't for her,
we wouldn't even have a storefront,
248
00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,030
'cause she got
the good credit.
249
00:12:17,162 --> 00:12:18,864
So don't you talk shit
about my friend!
250
00:12:18,998 --> 00:12:22,434
Are you fucking kidding me?
You clowns need to get your shit together!
251
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:26,973
- Ooh. Well...
- bitch!
252
00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:30,143
- What are you doing?
- Girl, I'm not messing up this good hair.
253
00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:32,244
Here you go,
Auntie Margot!
254
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,780
We're out of here.
Come on, girl!
255
00:12:34,913 --> 00:12:37,249
Whoa!
256
00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:45,257
- That's not her real hair?
- No, it's a cultural thing.
257
00:12:48,293 --> 00:12:50,997
♪ Flip it, smack it Smack it, ooh, yeah ♪
258
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,965
Mia!
259
00:12:53,099 --> 00:12:54,499
♪ You better Flip that
flapjack Flip it ♪
260
00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:56,102
♪ Flip it ♪
261
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,137
♪ Smack it, smack it
Flip it, smack it ♪
262
00:12:58,270 --> 00:12:59,871
Okay, just... too loud.
263
00:13:00,006 --> 00:13:02,774
Oh, my God, it's so loud.
Just 10% less.
264
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,045
- It's the other half of Peanut M&Ms.
- What?
265
00:13:06,179 --> 00:13:09,548
'Cause you're M and M and your
friendship is so awesome, it's nuts!
266
00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:12,317
No, Harry.
That's very sweet, but, no.
267
00:13:12,451 --> 00:13:14,954
Sorry if my booty call
kept you up last night.
268
00:13:15,088 --> 00:13:17,355
- No, I slept fine.
- Oh, good.
269
00:13:17,489 --> 00:13:20,292
I had to work off
that extra vagina cake.
270
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,628
Mm-hmm.
Right on top of Harry.
271
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:27,799
P.S. Harry's not really hairy.
He's smooth like a CPR dummy.
272
00:13:27,934 --> 00:13:29,568
Not really my type, but...
273
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,404
You know, he can hear you, babe.
He's right there.
274
00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:33,973
Oh, no. Don't worry
about my feelings.
275
00:13:34,107 --> 00:13:36,109
Mia and I are completely honest
with each other.
276
00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:38,978
This is the healthiest relationship
I've ever had. No contract.
277
00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:42,048
I'm so happy
for both of you.
278
00:13:42,181 --> 00:13:46,219
She just a little bit bitter because she
didn't grow up with open communication.
279
00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:48,653
No, but I had your mom.
And she was the best.
280
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,422
She was the coolest,
Mia's mom.
281
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:52,091
- What was she like?
- Super-duper dope.
282
00:13:52,225 --> 00:13:54,693
Actually, she left us
this house when she passed away.
283
00:13:54,826 --> 00:13:56,361
- Love you, Ma!
- Love you, too, Ma.
284
00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:57,696
What does your mom do, Mel?
285
00:13:57,829 --> 00:14:00,398
- Meth, mostly.
- Yeah, she's a "cook."
286
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:02,901
She's been clean
since 2000-never.
287
00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:06,005
Her sense of humor's a little
dark, but I love it.
288
00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:07,572
Can I get a pancake, bro?
289
00:14:10,243 --> 00:14:11,409
Okay, Mel.
290
00:14:11,543 --> 00:14:12,911
Damn, looks like
I ain't the only one
291
00:14:13,045 --> 00:14:15,248
that got broke off
with some dick last night.
292
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,516
- Hi.
- Hi.
293
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,850
Hey.
294
00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:22,654
Actually, uh, you have to go
because I'm going to church.
295
00:14:22,788 --> 00:14:25,924
Oh, okay.
Uh, can I call you?
296
00:14:26,058 --> 00:14:28,593
No. But thank you.
297
00:14:29,228 --> 00:14:31,363
- Bye.
- Oh.
298
00:14:35,134 --> 00:14:36,701
The door's just there.
299
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,303
Okay.
300
00:14:40,806 --> 00:14:43,742
Damn, you got some
dumb dick last night.
301
00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:45,844
- Please.
- You guys are so cool.
302
00:14:45,978 --> 00:14:49,115
I love the idea of being your age
someday and still living with my dudes.
303
00:14:49,248 --> 00:14:52,517
- Huh? Ouch.
- I don't listen to nothing he says, girl.
304
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:54,519
I just watch
that velvety mouth move
305
00:14:54,653 --> 00:14:57,556
and think about it all
in my nooks and crannies.
306
00:14:59,959 --> 00:15:02,794
Our friends have
homes, families, lives.
307
00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:04,696
Is it weird that
we're still roommates?
308
00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:07,799
Who cares if we still live together?
We are two badass queens,
309
00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:10,435
like those bitches who raised
Wonder Woman. We a tribe.
310
00:15:10,569 --> 00:15:12,205
Yeah. Right.
We are?
311
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:13,738
Yes!
312
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,975
We shouldn't feel guilty
about putting our careers first.
313
00:15:16,108 --> 00:15:17,809
We're just acting like men.
314
00:15:17,944 --> 00:15:21,746
We've worked our asses off,
we've opened our own store. We're winning.
315
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,152
See, black girl, white
girl, to show we do both.
316
00:15:26,285 --> 00:15:28,321
Got it all together.
317
00:15:28,453 --> 00:15:30,223
Ah, there they are!
318
00:15:30,355 --> 00:15:31,623
Hey, ladies.
319
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:35,127
The geniuses are back!
320
00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:36,996
You're acting weird.
321
00:15:37,129 --> 00:15:41,334
Oh, well, we were just showing Josh
the new changes to the website on Wix.
322
00:15:41,466 --> 00:15:44,170
Since he's...
part of the industry.
323
00:15:44,303 --> 00:15:45,570
Sorry, we're not hiring.
324
00:15:45,704 --> 00:15:47,806
Are we all here now?
Let's do a roll call.
325
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:49,574
Mia? Mel?
326
00:15:50,042 --> 00:15:50,809
Great.
327
00:15:50,943 --> 00:15:53,545
And Sydney.
Featuring Barret.
328
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:54,779
And who the hell
are you?
329
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,915
I'm here on behalf
of Claire Luna.
330
00:15:57,515 --> 00:15:58,917
Oviedo Beauty
Claire Luna?
331
00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:01,988
Oviedo Enterprises International
Claire Luna.
332
00:16:02,121 --> 00:16:03,289
Of course.
333
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,456
Claire's been monitoring
your online sales
334
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,192
for the last several months.
335
00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:09,996
And this... is clever.
336
00:16:10,129 --> 00:16:14,432
Yes. One Night Stand, our single-use
makeup kit you can just throw in your bag.
337
00:16:14,566 --> 00:16:16,235
- It's our best seller.
- Claire likes this.
338
00:16:16,369 --> 00:16:19,871
And so she'd like to sit down with
you at her earliest convenience to
339
00:16:20,006 --> 00:16:21,539
discuss investing
in your company.
340
00:16:21,673 --> 00:16:24,010
What? Are you serious?
341
00:16:25,644 --> 00:16:27,913
Obviously,
Claire has excellent taste.
342
00:16:28,047 --> 00:16:31,984
But we started this business so that
we didn't have to answer to anyone.
343
00:16:32,118 --> 00:16:33,352
Thank you for stopping by.
344
00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:36,788
And you are the cleanest man
I've ever seen.
345
00:16:36,922 --> 00:16:39,758
- You should hit that, B.
- Please.
346
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:42,560
She's too much.
347
00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:44,964
Give me a second, I'll be right back.
Don't leave.
348
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:53,672
You really do smell
fresh and clean.
349
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:57,642
You know, like a thermometer
before it goes in your butt.
350
00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,378
You don't even want to meet her?
351
00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:01,813
No. We said
we'd never sell out.
352
00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:04,883
I know every time I talk about
financials, your eyes glaze over...
353
00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:08,820
Nope, I have chronic glazy eye.
That's from the weed. We know this.
354
00:17:08,955 --> 00:17:12,258
Right, well, I haven't figured
out a way to tell you this:
355
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,395
We've never really recovered
since we opened the store.
356
00:17:16,528 --> 00:17:18,563
Stop it. You're being
overly dramatic.
357
00:17:18,697 --> 00:17:22,734
Mia, if we keep going like this,
we're gonna have to close in six months.
358
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:33,645
What the hell?
Y'all got birds in here?
359
00:17:33,778 --> 00:17:36,983
Don't mind the drones, they're a
gift from an admirer of Claire's.
360
00:17:37,116 --> 00:17:39,651
I'm not supposed to
tell anyone who it is.
361
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:41,253
Jack Dorsey.
Of Twitter.
362
00:17:41,387 --> 00:17:43,555
Ooh. It's still like
you didn't tell anyone,
363
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,557
'cause I don't know
who the hell that is.
364
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,428
We shouldn't be here.
365
00:17:49,561 --> 00:17:51,696
You want to just
let our store close?
366
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,698
Is it really that bad?
367
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,534
You know what,
don't tell me.
368
00:17:56,668 --> 00:17:58,204
Okay, I won't tell you.
369
00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:03,009
Okay, tell me. I can handle it.
Come on. Bring it.
370
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,246
We're $493,000 in debt.
371
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:08,646
What the fuck?
372
00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:11,649
I'm sorry. I know I've let us down.
I'm sorry.
373
00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:15,221
It's hard for me to tell you these things.
374
00:18:15,354 --> 00:18:18,257
Stop it.
We'll figure this out.
375
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:21,227
Together. Okay?
376
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:27,199
- Aah!
- What are you doing? What did you do?
377
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,534
He attacked me first!
Why are you taking his side?
378
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,972
We're gonna get in trouble.
Why did you do it? She's looking at us!
379
00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:34,906
- Put that in your purse.
- What?
380
00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:38,010
Put it in your purse. You a white woman.
You will not go to jail.
381
00:18:38,144 --> 00:18:39,811
- Two different laws.
- Put it in.
382
00:18:39,945 --> 00:18:41,780
You got that white privilege.
You won't get no jail time.
383
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,848
Just leave it like that.
384
00:18:43,983 --> 00:18:46,285
- Should I come back another time?
- No, no, no.
385
00:18:46,419 --> 00:18:50,622
I was just having a little stretch.
I'm so sorry, I have a tight calf.
386
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,526
I ran a marathon
this morning.
387
00:18:53,658 --> 00:18:55,127
Smooth.
388
00:19:13,845 --> 00:19:16,581
Claire will be with you
when she wants to be.
389
00:19:19,385 --> 00:19:22,354
Oh, my God,
she has a Wegner Swivel Chair.
390
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:24,457
That's a $10,000 chair.
391
00:19:24,589 --> 00:19:26,492
- That is so stupid.
- $10,000.
392
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:27,692
It's stupid!
393
00:19:27,826 --> 00:19:31,530
Hello,
you fabulous women.
394
00:19:31,663 --> 00:19:34,766
Mel Paige
and Mia Carter.
395
00:19:34,899 --> 00:19:38,003
Two-time "Atlanta
Small Businesswomen to Watch."
396
00:19:38,137 --> 00:19:41,840
$21,000 in online sales
last month.
397
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:46,045
Best friends
for 22 years!
398
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:47,846
Impressive.
399
00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:51,417
I'm Clara Luna...
400
00:19:51,550 --> 00:19:54,186
which means
"Clear Brilliant Moon."
401
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,958
The literal translation is "Clear
Moon." The "Brilliant" is implied.
402
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:00,960
But you can just call me Claire.
403
00:20:01,093 --> 00:20:02,995
It's such an honor
to meet you.
404
00:20:03,129 --> 00:20:05,397
The honor
is always all mine.
405
00:20:05,531 --> 00:20:07,699
I am so proud I found you.
406
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,069
You didn't find anything.
We've been here.
407
00:20:10,569 --> 00:20:12,037
Ooh, Mia!
408
00:20:12,538 --> 00:20:14,306
You're spicy.
409
00:20:15,474 --> 00:20:17,109
I like it.
410
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,046
Oh, I'm so sorry.
411
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:24,649
My phone is... buzzing.
I apologize.
412
00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:26,718
That was...
413
00:20:32,891 --> 00:20:35,194
It's very loud.
I'm sorry.
414
00:20:37,163 --> 00:20:38,397
Ow! Ooh!
415
00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:40,032
That's weird.
416
00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:43,235
See, what happened was
it was flying and it hit...
417
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,674
Was that hot?
418
00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:51,843
- Sure.
- Yes!
419
00:20:52,578 --> 00:20:53,878
Are you a golfer?
420
00:20:54,013 --> 00:20:55,780
Oh, no. It's just something
to fiddle with.
421
00:20:55,914 --> 00:20:59,051
Some people do it with toothpicks,
the kids with their boogers...
422
00:20:59,185 --> 00:21:01,853
- Some grown-ups with the boogers, too.
- Shh.
423
00:21:01,987 --> 00:21:03,522
You two belong here.
424
00:21:03,656 --> 00:21:07,326
I want to send women
on the same incredible journey.
425
00:21:07,459 --> 00:21:10,596
Look, Claire,
our brand has value to us.
426
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,765
We want women to realize
that they're already beautiful,
427
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,235
not that they have to
paint it on or cover it up.
428
00:21:16,368 --> 00:21:19,572
We want them to shine
from the inside out.
429
00:21:19,704 --> 00:21:21,340
Understand?
430
00:21:21,473 --> 00:21:23,042
More than you think.
431
00:21:24,343 --> 00:21:26,412
You think I don't understand
where you're coming from.
432
00:21:26,545 --> 00:21:29,114
But I understand more than
you understand I understand.
433
00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:32,484
Mel, like you,
I come from broke beginnings.
434
00:21:32,618 --> 00:21:36,854
And, Mia, like you,
I have a passion for mixing color.
435
00:21:36,989 --> 00:21:40,960
We both started our own
business all on our own.
436
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:44,762
And I have a mole on my
face, just like you do.
437
00:21:44,896 --> 00:21:47,166
I want you to feel
the bliss
438
00:21:47,299 --> 00:21:50,970
of looking at your products
displayed in a high-end store.
439
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:56,242
I want to see your reaction when you
are looking at your bank account...
440
00:21:57,009 --> 00:21:59,078
and you realize
you're millionaires.
441
00:21:59,211 --> 00:22:02,281
Man, I would shit right in
the middle of the Wells Fargo.
442
00:22:02,681 --> 00:22:03,915
Oh.
443
00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:05,883
Okay.
444
00:22:06,552 --> 00:22:08,220
I wouldn't do that.
445
00:22:08,354 --> 00:22:09,754
Well, get ready.
446
00:22:09,887 --> 00:22:13,891
I'm going to pay for your debt
completely for 51% of your company.
447
00:22:14,026 --> 00:22:18,896
And I want to introduce
the Mia & Mel line for Oviedo
448
00:22:19,031 --> 00:22:21,100
at my upcoming launch party.
449
00:22:21,233 --> 00:22:23,068
And if that goes well,
450
00:22:23,202 --> 00:22:29,174
I am going to invest an
additional $1.7 million on you.
451
00:22:30,209 --> 00:22:33,145
You're literally
saving our lives. I...
452
00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:35,314
Can I give you a hug,
please?
453
00:22:35,447 --> 00:22:37,716
Nope, no hugs.
We're not taking that offer.
454
00:22:37,849 --> 00:22:41,320
She is gonna control our company.
And that's not what we're about.
455
00:22:41,453 --> 00:22:45,491
Okay, if you could just excuse us for...
uno momento.
456
00:22:45,624 --> 00:22:48,527
- Please. Do you trust me?
- I don't trust this bitch.
457
00:22:48,661 --> 00:22:50,129
We don't have
the choice.
458
00:22:50,262 --> 00:22:53,766
I know a lace front when I see it.
That is not her hair.
459
00:22:53,898 --> 00:22:57,636
- Please, Mia, trust me.
- No, no, no.
460
00:22:57,770 --> 00:22:59,271
We can't do it!
461
00:23:02,374 --> 00:23:04,176
My best friend and I
discussed it.
462
00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:07,313
The answer is...
hell no.
463
00:23:09,682 --> 00:23:11,183
Okay.
464
00:23:12,785 --> 00:23:15,721
I'm gonna do something
I've never done,
465
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,389
but I think you two
are worth it.
466
00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:22,461
I will take only 49%,
and you maintain controlling interest.
467
00:23:22,594 --> 00:23:23,629
Happy?
468
00:23:24,163 --> 00:23:26,031
I still don't like that.
469
00:23:26,165 --> 00:23:29,668
If you could please just give us a little
time to think it over and talk about it?
470
00:23:29,802 --> 00:23:32,837
Okay.
It's a big decision.
471
00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:35,274
Don't rush it.
472
00:23:35,407 --> 00:23:37,710
She'll need an answer
by tomorrow.
473
00:23:44,817 --> 00:23:46,318
So...
474
00:23:46,452 --> 00:23:49,021
I don't want to talk about any
more of this Claire Luna stuff.
475
00:23:49,154 --> 00:23:50,855
Let's not
talk about it then.
476
00:23:54,293 --> 00:23:56,662
Hold it, Baby Driver!
Where the hell we going?
477
00:23:56,795 --> 00:23:59,331
That was intense.
We need a drink.
478
00:24:01,533 --> 00:24:03,335
It's karaoke night.
479
00:24:18,384 --> 00:24:20,719
Why did you give them
51% stake in the company?
480
00:24:20,853 --> 00:24:22,187
Strategy, Josh.
481
00:24:22,321 --> 00:24:25,090
And I'm gonna get everything
I want from those girls.
482
00:24:26,024 --> 00:24:29,094
'Cause no one stays besties
once money comes in.
483
00:24:29,661 --> 00:24:31,697
Money changes everything.
484
00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:35,334
And if it doesn't...
I will.
485
00:24:35,467 --> 00:24:36,702
You're a bitch.
486
00:24:36,835 --> 00:24:38,637
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
487
00:24:39,904 --> 00:24:42,875
All right, two Peach
Cîrocs for my two roadside peaches.
488
00:24:43,008 --> 00:24:44,843
- Oh, thanks.
- Cheers, guys.
489
00:24:44,977 --> 00:24:46,478
Cheers.
490
00:24:49,815 --> 00:24:53,318
Mia, it's like we've sacrificed our
whole lives for a chance like this.
491
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:55,320
So this is you not
talking about Claire Luna.
492
00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:58,190
This is me talking about a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
493
00:24:58,791 --> 00:24:59,924
Our next two ladies.
494
00:25:00,058 --> 00:25:02,828
Please welcome Mia and Mel!
495
00:25:04,930 --> 00:25:07,766
- Are you serious?
- We haven't done this one for a while.
496
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:09,101
Girl!
497
00:25:12,871 --> 00:25:14,573
Come on, Mia, sing!
498
00:25:14,706 --> 00:25:16,508
Come on, girl!
499
00:25:16,642 --> 00:25:18,911
♪ Love lift us up
Where we belong ♪
500
00:25:19,044 --> 00:25:21,547
Girl, I know
what you're trying to do.
501
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,149
We have worked our asses off
to get here!
502
00:25:24,283 --> 00:25:26,018
♪ Where the eagles cry ♪
503
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:28,821
♪ On a mountain high ♪
504
00:25:28,954 --> 00:25:34,059
- What if we lose our freedom?
- ♪ Claire will lift us up Where we belong ♪
505
00:25:34,193 --> 00:25:36,161
Don't stand there
and karaoke me.
506
00:25:36,295 --> 00:25:39,531
♪ Far from the world we know ♪
507
00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:42,401
♪ Where the clear winds blow ♪
508
00:25:42,534 --> 00:25:44,002
You know you tripping,
right?
509
00:25:44,136 --> 00:25:46,104
We've dreamed of this
since we were teenagers.
510
00:25:46,238 --> 00:25:47,941
No, you've dreamed of this
since we were teenagers.
511
00:25:48,073 --> 00:25:49,641
I just wanted to be a boss.
512
00:25:49,775 --> 00:25:54,112
You saved my life when you took me in.
Now let me pay you back.
513
00:25:55,747 --> 00:25:56,950
You know what?
514
00:25:57,082 --> 00:25:58,650
Okay, fuck it.
Let's do it.
515
00:25:58,784 --> 00:26:02,087
Let's do it. Long as you stop singing.
Let's blow the fuck up!
516
00:26:02,221 --> 00:26:04,289
- Whoo! Yeah!
- Let's blow this makeup up!
517
00:26:10,095 --> 00:26:11,730
Hello, ladies.
518
00:26:11,864 --> 00:26:15,100
Do you know Greg and Ron from Get Some?
Greg and Ron, these are...
519
00:26:15,234 --> 00:26:18,270
Mia and Mel from Mia & Mel.
No introduction needed.
520
00:26:18,403 --> 00:26:20,906
We follow you on Insta,
and you are such an inspa...
521
00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:22,107
...ration.
522
00:26:22,241 --> 00:26:24,710
And you are in cosmetics
as well?
523
00:26:24,843 --> 00:26:27,045
- Yeah.
- Weird, right? Two straight dudes?
524
00:26:27,179 --> 00:26:28,580
We thought you were gay
immediately.
525
00:26:28,714 --> 00:26:30,516
- Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you so much.
526
00:26:30,649 --> 00:26:33,519
We feel the beauty industry needed
fresh eyes on women's makeup.
527
00:26:33,652 --> 00:26:35,921
- Shatter some myths.
- Let's just be real, right?
528
00:26:36,054 --> 00:26:38,757
Who are women trying to make
themselves look beautiful for?
529
00:26:38,891 --> 00:26:39,791
- Themselves.
- Each other.
530
00:26:39,926 --> 00:26:40,994
Men.
531
00:26:41,126 --> 00:26:42,227
- Mmm.
- It might not sound woke,
532
00:26:42,361 --> 00:26:43,930
but we're just trying
to be authentic.
533
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:46,698
Modern women admit...
they want sex, and they want to look hot.
534
00:26:46,832 --> 00:26:50,003
That's why our slogan
is simple and to the point:
535
00:26:50,135 --> 00:26:52,304
- "Get some. Look hot."
- Look hot.
536
00:26:52,437 --> 00:26:55,173
That is simple.
537
00:26:55,307 --> 00:26:57,543
Thank you very much, guys.
You know your way out.
538
00:26:57,676 --> 00:27:01,179
- Ladies. Claire, thanks. Love you.
- Come on in, ladies.
539
00:27:02,514 --> 00:27:06,218
Those guys are knuckleheads,
but they are very ambitious.
540
00:27:06,351 --> 00:27:09,655
I'm thinking of buying their
company, too. We'll see.
541
00:27:09,788 --> 00:27:11,958
Okay, ladies,
just one more provision.
542
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:16,461
This is gonna be a really intense process.
And, in my experience,
543
00:27:16,595 --> 00:27:19,197
business and friendship
don't always mix.
544
00:27:19,331 --> 00:27:21,266
I guess what
I'm trying to say is
545
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,070
if your partnership gets into any
kind of trouble during this process...
546
00:27:25,203 --> 00:27:27,539
if one of you
quits the company,
547
00:27:27,673 --> 00:27:31,176
I will take 51%
controlling interest.
548
00:27:31,310 --> 00:27:33,679
That's never gonna happen. We've been
best friends since middle school,
549
00:27:33,812 --> 00:27:35,714
and our friendship
makes our business better.
550
00:27:35,847 --> 00:27:37,449
Yep,
we rock solid.
551
00:27:37,583 --> 00:27:39,484
So you don't have to worry
your pretty little head.
552
00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:43,221
My head is not little.
It's just that my breasts are humongous.
553
00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:47,626
That's just
what I was thinking.
554
00:27:55,534 --> 00:27:57,169
OMG!
555
00:28:14,219 --> 00:28:15,787
Congratulations.
556
00:28:17,356 --> 00:28:18,290
Now we celebrate.
557
00:28:44,383 --> 00:28:46,151
Come on, Mia.
558
00:28:54,393 --> 00:28:58,064
Please stop. Okay. We celebrated.
559
00:28:58,196 --> 00:28:59,932
The launch party
is in six weeks.
560
00:29:00,066 --> 00:29:03,402
I need you to come back with a
presentation for what your company brand
561
00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:06,738
will be under
my banner... mañana.
562
00:29:06,872 --> 00:29:09,108
Of course. No problemo.
563
00:29:09,241 --> 00:29:11,243
We got this. Thank you.
564
00:29:12,377 --> 00:29:17,083
Well, well, well. Is this what
those Claire Luna coins gets us?
565
00:29:17,215 --> 00:29:19,851
You didn't have to get us such fancy
gifts, but I love it.
566
00:29:19,986 --> 00:29:22,688
We wanted to.
This is a big moment for all of us.
567
00:29:22,821 --> 00:29:24,656
We wouldn't be here
without you guys.
568
00:29:24,790 --> 00:29:27,060
Gucci, Gucci, goo!
569
00:29:27,192 --> 00:29:28,961
Gorgeous.
570
00:29:29,327 --> 00:29:31,196
Okay. So,
571
00:29:31,329 --> 00:29:33,765
how are we gonna rebrand
for Claire?
572
00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:35,333
What is our story?
573
00:29:35,467 --> 00:29:37,970
I'm a divorced pet lover.
Use mine.
574
00:29:38,104 --> 00:29:41,239
Sydney. Love you.
Love your story.
575
00:29:41,373 --> 00:29:45,544
But I think we should just stick with
our own story, you know? Keep it real.
576
00:29:45,677 --> 00:29:47,546
We can't go back to Claire
and tell her
577
00:29:47,679 --> 00:29:50,482
what we've come up with is we're just...
keeping it real.
578
00:29:50,615 --> 00:29:52,751
We need to try something new.
Let's zhuzh it up a bit.
579
00:29:52,884 --> 00:29:55,687
- Did you just say "zhuzh"?
- We got to zhuzh it up!
580
00:29:55,821 --> 00:29:58,490
- Zh-zh-zhuzh?
- Don't be so zhuzh-mental.
581
00:29:58,623 --> 00:30:00,059
Zhh!
582
00:30:00,193 --> 00:30:01,259
Let's focus up!
583
00:30:01,393 --> 00:30:04,896
Zhh. Zh.
584
00:30:05,031 --> 00:30:09,768
What is the intersection between
what Claire wants and what we do?
585
00:30:14,974 --> 00:30:17,576
- Come on, girl.
- We need you, Mia.
586
00:30:17,709 --> 00:30:19,178
You know
you the idea woman.
587
00:30:19,311 --> 00:30:23,815
Look, good ideas do not come
to me if they are forced.
588
00:30:23,950 --> 00:30:25,650
I have a process.
589
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,820
- Let's go out.
- Please. Girl, what?
590
00:30:28,955 --> 00:30:30,856
Harry's throwing a
last-minute birthday party.
591
00:30:30,990 --> 00:30:33,625
We could swing by there,
have one drink,
592
00:30:33,759 --> 00:30:35,494
and then I can give him
his birthday present.
593
00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:40,166
We've got a presentation tomorrow.
This is seriously important homework.
594
00:30:40,298 --> 00:30:41,867
There'll be
young girls there.
595
00:30:42,001 --> 00:30:44,903
We could ask them some questions,
maybe come up with some ideas.
596
00:30:57,382 --> 00:31:00,519
How about day-to-night
opalescent powder
597
00:31:00,652 --> 00:31:02,854
called "Sparkly Face"?
598
00:31:02,989 --> 00:31:05,258
How about I got to
give Harry his birthday gift,
599
00:31:05,390 --> 00:31:08,460
so you ask some of these other people
what they do with their makeup.
600
00:31:08,593 --> 00:31:10,862
- I'll be right back.
- Mia, I can't...
601
00:31:10,997 --> 00:31:12,731
We don't have time!
602
00:31:12,864 --> 00:31:14,800
Happy birthday.
603
00:31:18,037 --> 00:31:21,540
Come on, we got to make this fast,
'cause Mel and I got work to do.
604
00:31:21,673 --> 00:31:24,309
I'm so excited for you guys.
I've been smiling all day.
605
00:31:24,442 --> 00:31:26,545
You always smile all day.
Now, come on.
606
00:31:26,678 --> 00:31:29,548
- This is crazy, this is cra...
- No conversation!
607
00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:33,485
You young people always trying
to narrate your whole damn life!
608
00:31:33,618 --> 00:31:36,588
It's like having sex with
somebody on Instagram Live.
609
00:31:50,468 --> 00:31:52,537
- Hey.
- Hey!
610
00:31:52,671 --> 00:31:54,307
You girls are so cute.
611
00:31:57,276 --> 00:31:58,643
Tell me about your makeup.
612
00:31:58,777 --> 00:32:01,280
Actually don't wear any.
Just sunscreen and lip plump.
613
00:32:01,446 --> 00:32:04,883
Get out! I think
I see some shadow there.
614
00:32:05,017 --> 00:32:07,853
- Are you Melissa's mom?
- Fuck off! Are you?
615
00:32:10,189 --> 00:32:11,356
What about you,
Ginger?
616
00:32:11,489 --> 00:32:13,292
All my makeup
is semi-permanent.
617
00:32:13,425 --> 00:32:15,894
Ouch.
Thanks for nothing!
618
00:32:21,399 --> 00:32:23,902
I can't believe you left me
to go and look for that guy!
619
00:32:24,036 --> 00:32:26,705
I know. I'm the worst.
He was so much shorter up close.
620
00:32:26,838 --> 00:32:28,307
He was short from far away.
621
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,209
Hey, girl.
Where have you been?
622
00:32:30,343 --> 00:32:34,646
Sorry it took me so long, but I was
destroying Harry for all future women.
623
00:32:34,779 --> 00:32:38,050
- Is that dip?
- No, it's ranch dressing.
624
00:32:38,184 --> 00:32:40,052
- Bagel chips!
- Hero!
625
00:32:40,186 --> 00:32:42,255
I am so glad I found you.
626
00:32:46,791 --> 00:32:49,962
It's weird how scary
the whole world can be.
627
00:32:50,096 --> 00:32:54,566
And then your person shows up,
and you're like, "I'm good."
628
00:32:57,502 --> 00:33:02,807
And how, like, our eyes are just
wet security cameras in our head...
629
00:33:03,675 --> 00:33:06,145
gathering just data.
630
00:33:10,383 --> 00:33:12,851
- I think I smoked too much.
- Yeah.
631
00:33:14,253 --> 00:33:18,090
Thank God I'm not alone.
I'm really glad you're here.
632
00:33:18,224 --> 00:33:19,791
Always.
633
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,097
You're my ride or die.
I'm always here for you.
634
00:33:25,998 --> 00:33:27,632
Like you for me.
635
00:33:29,936 --> 00:33:32,038
Remember
when my mom passed?
636
00:33:32,171 --> 00:33:34,906
I wouldn't have made it through
that funeral without you.
637
00:33:35,041 --> 00:33:39,045
Everyone coming up to me,
"If there's anything I can do for you..."
638
00:33:39,178 --> 00:33:42,847
And they'd walk away before they
find out if I needed anything.
639
00:33:44,016 --> 00:33:48,853
And then here you come,
with them four Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.
640
00:33:48,988 --> 00:33:50,289
With pickles.
641
00:33:50,423 --> 00:33:51,890
Them salty-ass french fries.
642
00:33:52,024 --> 00:33:55,161
And the chocolate shakes spiked
with the Captain Morgan's.
643
00:33:59,031 --> 00:34:01,466
That was exactly
what I needed.
644
00:34:03,902 --> 00:34:06,205
We so lucky
we got each other.
645
00:34:11,609 --> 00:34:13,912
We should get
some french fries.
646
00:34:16,648 --> 00:34:18,384
- I got it.
- What?
647
00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:19,651
I know what we can do.
648
00:34:19,784 --> 00:34:21,853
And Claire Luna's
gonna love it.
649
00:34:21,988 --> 00:34:23,888
But first,
let's get them french fries.
650
00:34:24,023 --> 00:34:26,459
Hey. My name is Mia.
What's yours?
651
00:34:26,591 --> 00:34:28,027
- Ellie.
- Jess.
652
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,963
Tell me,
what do you guys love about each other?
653
00:34:33,698 --> 00:34:35,101
- This one?
- Yeah.
654
00:34:35,234 --> 00:34:38,170
- Or no, this one.
- Tap. Just make it go.
655
00:34:38,304 --> 00:34:40,705
- Where did you meet?
- It was actually a Halloween party.
656
00:34:40,839 --> 00:34:42,008
Oh, what were you dressed as?
657
00:34:42,141 --> 00:34:45,077
Destiny's Child,
but there was five of us.
658
00:34:48,014 --> 00:34:50,016
We want our products
to make you feel like
659
00:34:50,149 --> 00:34:52,617
you just found
your person in the crowd.
660
00:34:52,751 --> 00:34:54,186
Happy and safe.
661
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:55,920
No matter how
much you see your flaws,
662
00:34:56,055 --> 00:34:58,491
your person is always standing
there, reminding you:
663
00:34:58,623 --> 00:35:00,092
you are beautiful.
664
00:35:00,226 --> 00:35:02,527
We want to create a line that,
instead of hiding your flaws,
665
00:35:02,660 --> 00:35:04,330
boosts
your best parts.
666
00:35:04,463 --> 00:35:06,564
We call it "Proud."
667
00:35:18,676 --> 00:35:19,911
"Proud Mary"?
668
00:35:20,046 --> 00:35:21,846
My grandma used to
play it all the time.
669
00:35:21,981 --> 00:35:25,484
She said, "That's the voice of a woman
that's ready to turn up the great."
670
00:35:25,617 --> 00:35:27,153
We want it
to be our anthem.
671
00:35:27,286 --> 00:35:30,722
Her eyebrows always look perfect.
Look at 'em!
672
00:35:30,855 --> 00:35:35,027
I love her skin because it's flawless.
Like, my best friend has no flaws.
673
00:35:35,161 --> 00:35:37,129
And she has dimples,
they're so cute.
674
00:35:37,263 --> 00:35:39,532
She has natural eyebrows,
she doesn't have to fill 'em in.
675
00:35:41,534 --> 00:35:44,537
How could you turn off "Proud Mary"
before the fast part? Who does that?
676
00:35:44,669 --> 00:35:49,041
This is the opposite direction
to what you should be heading.
677
00:35:49,175 --> 00:35:50,476
This is all wrong!
678
00:35:50,608 --> 00:35:53,645
Too sentimental.
Mushy. It's cheesy.
679
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:56,315
Sappish. Cornish.
680
00:35:56,449 --> 00:35:57,782
Not sexy at all.
681
00:35:57,916 --> 00:36:00,986
Sorry, I think Mia
was just thinking...
682
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:06,258
I'm sorry... We were just thinking
that the best kind of relationships
683
00:36:06,392 --> 00:36:09,195
and the best kind of makeup
make you feel beautiful.
684
00:36:09,328 --> 00:36:12,998
Then stitch that on a pillow,
honey, and sell it on Etsy.
685
00:36:13,132 --> 00:36:17,336
I am asking you
to push yourselves to the edge.
686
00:36:17,470 --> 00:36:19,405
I want you to be fierce!
687
00:36:19,538 --> 00:36:21,474
How far are you willing to go?
688
00:36:21,606 --> 00:36:23,242
Far!
We can go far.
689
00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:25,610
I know we're fierce.
We're totally fierce!
690
00:36:25,743 --> 00:36:26,946
- Down to go places.
- That's why we're friends.
691
00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:28,847
We're gonna push you
to the edge.
692
00:36:28,981 --> 00:36:32,151
So afraid you gonna fall off.
But you're not.
693
00:36:32,284 --> 00:36:34,553
- You're not.
- You're not. You're gonna fall into beauty.
694
00:36:34,686 --> 00:36:36,688
- And be beautiful.
- And you're gonna push it!
695
00:36:36,821 --> 00:36:38,524
- And, like, fierce beauty.
- Yeah.
696
00:36:40,859 --> 00:36:42,595
Are we selling animal cookies?
697
00:36:42,727 --> 00:36:46,999
I need you to be fierce yourself so
that you can inspire the ugly people
698
00:36:47,133 --> 00:36:50,869
to buy themselves
into gorgeousness!
699
00:36:51,003 --> 00:36:52,904
Listen to the word:
700
00:36:53,038 --> 00:36:54,507
Fierst.
701
00:36:54,639 --> 00:36:56,609
Fierst.
702
00:36:56,741 --> 00:36:58,577
What is it saying to you?
703
00:36:58,710 --> 00:37:01,779
I hear "fear" then "erst."
704
00:37:02,348 --> 00:37:03,415
I hear that, too.
705
00:37:03,549 --> 00:37:05,551
Fierst.
706
00:37:05,683 --> 00:37:07,052
- Fierst.
- Fierst.
707
00:37:07,186 --> 00:37:07,886
Fierst.
708
00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:09,821
Now whisper it.
709
00:37:09,955 --> 00:37:11,457
Feel it inside you.
710
00:37:11,590 --> 00:37:14,160
Fierst. Fierst.
711
00:37:18,663 --> 00:37:22,434
Jarring. Unexpected.
Exhilarating.
712
00:37:23,335 --> 00:37:24,669
That's fierst.
713
00:37:24,802 --> 00:37:26,838
Can you be fierst?
714
00:37:27,606 --> 00:37:29,642
- Uh-huh.
- Yes, we can certainly try.
715
00:37:29,774 --> 00:37:31,443
Get the car and my purse!
716
00:37:35,147 --> 00:37:37,849
Okay, girls,
this is what you do well.
717
00:37:37,983 --> 00:37:40,986
The rest of it... no.
718
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,088
But you've only chosen
lipstick and foundation.
719
00:37:43,222 --> 00:37:45,558
Yeah, and you said
you loved our One Night Stand.
720
00:37:45,690 --> 00:37:50,162
That's because it was a fabulous
idea when it came out years ago.
721
00:37:50,296 --> 00:37:52,797
Now it's boring.
You need to evolve.
722
00:37:52,932 --> 00:37:55,968
- That's what I've been saying.
- Exactly. She gets it.
723
00:37:56,101 --> 00:37:59,205
I need a new
exciting idea.
724
00:38:01,307 --> 00:38:02,174
Now!
725
00:38:02,308 --> 00:38:05,311
Anyone! Don't just
wait for Mia, Mel.
726
00:38:05,444 --> 00:38:07,546
Uh, well, um...
727
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,481
How about a...
728
00:38:12,051 --> 00:38:15,988
custom-blended two-sided
lipstick, and you can pick...
729
00:38:16,121 --> 00:38:18,890
whichever shade
fits your mood.
730
00:38:19,425 --> 00:38:20,926
Mmm.
731
00:38:21,660 --> 00:38:23,195
- Yes.
- Yes.
732
00:38:23,329 --> 00:38:26,165
That's the kind of creative
juice I'm looking for out of you.
733
00:38:26,298 --> 00:38:29,801
Great juices.
You follow that.
734
00:38:29,935 --> 00:38:31,971
Follow your juices, Mel.
735
00:38:32,104 --> 00:38:34,640
Yeah, Mel,
follow your juices.
736
00:38:34,772 --> 00:38:35,975
Hey.
737
00:38:36,108 --> 00:38:37,643
- Okay, just be respectful.
- You be respectful.
738
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:40,646
- I'm not arguing with you.
- I'm not arguing with you, either.
739
00:38:42,348 --> 00:38:45,117
Do you need to fight in private
or shall I count to ten?
740
00:38:45,251 --> 00:38:47,152
Count to ten,
because I got more shit to say.
741
00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:48,786
She's trying
to help us evolve.
742
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,024
- What are we, Pokémons?
- No. Hey. Hey.
743
00:38:52,157 --> 00:38:53,559
Relax. I'm not
arguing with you.
744
00:38:53,692 --> 00:38:55,294
I'm just saying
I don't like that.
745
00:38:56,662 --> 00:38:58,097
Hello!
746
00:38:58,497 --> 00:38:59,531
You know...
747
00:39:00,099 --> 00:39:02,301
fighting isn't always bad.
748
00:39:03,602 --> 00:39:07,706
I used to have sex with my husband...
just amazing sex...
749
00:39:07,839 --> 00:39:09,375
after we fought.
750
00:39:09,508 --> 00:39:16,215
And then he started having
amazing sex with himself.
751
00:39:16,348 --> 00:39:18,150
And, well,
752
00:39:18,284 --> 00:39:22,988
you know, then we stopped fighting
and now we're not married.
753
00:39:27,593 --> 00:39:29,962
Mmm. Mm, mm, mmm.
754
00:39:34,300 --> 00:39:36,168
How many can you do in an hour?
755
00:39:36,302 --> 00:39:38,070
Around 75.
756
00:39:38,203 --> 00:39:41,040
But I don't.
Because I'm not showy.
757
00:39:41,173 --> 00:39:44,610
I can do 300,000, and I do.
758
00:39:44,743 --> 00:39:47,246
But it's so nice to see that
759
00:39:47,379 --> 00:39:51,617
there are actual artisans that
still work with their hands.
760
00:39:51,750 --> 00:39:53,851
It's so romantic.
761
00:39:53,986 --> 00:39:55,487
Thank you, Barry.
762
00:39:55,621 --> 00:39:57,022
Barret.
763
00:39:58,357 --> 00:39:59,591
Barret.
764
00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:07,132
- You have to fire him.
- What?
765
00:40:07,266 --> 00:40:09,268
- We can't do that.
- We not gonna do that.
766
00:40:09,401 --> 00:40:11,937
I'm gonna be mass producing
your products now.
767
00:40:12,071 --> 00:40:14,106
Sadly, he's obsolete.
768
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,509
With all due respect,
he built this business with us.
769
00:40:17,643 --> 00:40:19,778
Did you know that I had a
partner when I started out?
770
00:40:19,911 --> 00:40:20,878
Shay Whitmore.
771
00:40:21,013 --> 00:40:23,315
Josh!
We don't say that name.
772
00:40:25,017 --> 00:40:26,851
That woman and I
met in college.
773
00:40:26,985 --> 00:40:29,121
- They were freshmen roommates.
- Josh!
774
00:40:29,254 --> 00:40:32,157
- Whose story is it anyway?
- It's yours.
775
00:40:33,592 --> 00:40:38,097
We were best friends
and in business for 12 years.
776
00:40:38,230 --> 00:40:39,698
And then I had to fire her.
777
00:40:39,832 --> 00:40:41,834
Damn, that's some
coldhearted shit.
778
00:40:41,967 --> 00:40:45,938
If you want to be businesswomen,
you'll have to make many tough decisions.
779
00:40:46,071 --> 00:40:47,439
He's got to go.
780
00:41:06,291 --> 00:41:08,694
I'm sorry.
This is just really hard for me.
781
00:41:08,827 --> 00:41:11,430
It's not easy for me, either.
Let's just not do it, then.
782
00:41:11,563 --> 00:41:14,833
No, you heard
what Claire said, okay?
783
00:41:14,967 --> 00:41:17,836
It's easier for you. That's why
you should do it. You're meaner.
784
00:41:17,970 --> 00:41:19,605
You're meaner on the inside!
785
00:41:19,738 --> 00:41:23,375
It's like you got a little
Mr. Krabs living inside of you.
786
00:41:24,109 --> 00:41:26,412
You're right.
You're right.
787
00:41:26,545 --> 00:41:28,414
I'm secretly meaner.
788
00:41:29,481 --> 00:41:32,317
This arugula is good as hell.
789
00:41:32,451 --> 00:41:35,454
You know they call it "rocket"
in Europe?
790
00:41:35,587 --> 00:41:36,755
What the fuck is that?
791
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:40,459
It's arugula, honey.
That sounds better, right?
792
00:41:40,592 --> 00:41:43,695
Mel, don't you have
something you want to say?
793
00:41:45,964 --> 00:41:47,099
Barret...
794
00:41:50,536 --> 00:41:51,703
What?
795
00:41:53,138 --> 00:41:56,175
- Go ahead, spit it out.
- Yeah, spit it out, Mel.
796
00:41:56,875 --> 00:41:58,710
- Barret...
- Uh-huh.
797
00:42:00,145 --> 00:42:02,614
I just...
I wanted to...
798
00:42:02,748 --> 00:42:06,051
Barret, I'm gonna... I...
What I wanted to say...
799
00:42:06,185 --> 00:42:08,053
That was...
800
00:42:08,487 --> 00:42:09,588
I...
801
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:15,694
I love your suit.
802
00:42:16,128 --> 00:42:17,362
Oh, thank you!
803
00:42:17,496 --> 00:42:20,432
I do look good
in a tartan plaid, right?
804
00:42:26,171 --> 00:42:28,407
Barret... we love you.
805
00:42:28,974 --> 00:42:30,342
You're fired.
806
00:42:32,978 --> 00:42:34,413
What?
807
00:42:35,047 --> 00:42:36,348
But...
808
00:42:36,748 --> 00:42:38,016
Mel?
809
00:42:38,150 --> 00:42:40,686
They're outsourcing
our production. We're sorry.
810
00:42:40,819 --> 00:42:43,355
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
811
00:42:46,658 --> 00:42:47,927
You know what?
812
00:42:48,060 --> 00:42:50,896
I knew this shit was gonna happen.
Fuck the both of you!
813
00:42:51,029 --> 00:42:52,966
Don't hate me, hate Mel.
It was her idea.
814
00:42:53,098 --> 00:42:56,235
- What are you talking about?
- Yes, it was your idea. It was your idea.
815
00:42:56,368 --> 00:42:58,737
Oh, okay. I knew
this one was a pickled beast.
816
00:42:58,871 --> 00:43:00,072
But you, Mel?
817
00:43:00,205 --> 00:43:02,474
You want to fire me,
and you make Mia do it?
818
00:43:02,608 --> 00:43:04,343
Shame on your house.
819
00:43:04,476 --> 00:43:07,679
Wait! Firing you is not my idea.
I promise.
820
00:43:07,813 --> 00:43:09,581
We wouldn't even be here
821
00:43:09,715 --> 00:43:12,651
had you not pushed me into letting
Claire do a grab job on our company.
822
00:43:12,784 --> 00:43:15,220
She saved our company,
which was about to go broke!
823
00:43:15,354 --> 00:43:17,322
Oh, yeah,
and everything's so fantastic now.
824
00:43:17,456 --> 00:43:19,391
- No, nothing's fantastic now.
- Hey, hey, hey.
825
00:43:19,525 --> 00:43:21,360
Hey! Shut it.
826
00:43:23,362 --> 00:43:27,599
Witness... my...
tragic... moment!
827
00:44:02,534 --> 00:44:04,102
Happy birthday, baby.
828
00:44:04,236 --> 00:44:07,906
- Happy birthday to me!
- Happy birthday.
829
00:44:08,807 --> 00:44:10,509
- Happy birthday, Jill.
- Thank you!
830
00:44:10,642 --> 00:44:11,810
I love you.
831
00:44:11,945 --> 00:44:14,346
Thank you guys so much
for doing this for my birthday.
832
00:44:14,479 --> 00:44:16,114
Oh, my God.
Baby, anything.
833
00:44:16,248 --> 00:44:20,252
Ladies, if there's one thing I
have learned in my ceviche journey,
834
00:44:20,385 --> 00:44:22,921
it's that it's all about
the right amount of cilantro.
835
00:44:23,056 --> 00:44:26,993
Is it just me, or has working
with Claire Luna made y'all fancy?
836
00:44:27,125 --> 00:44:28,860
'Cause I'm getting a fancy vibe.
837
00:44:28,995 --> 00:44:31,998
She's a very impressive person.
She fucked Drake.
838
00:44:32,130 --> 00:44:34,132
- Is that true?
- Just stop, okay?
839
00:44:34,266 --> 00:44:38,136
Because you are gonna make Mel jealous,
because she wants to fuck Claire Luna.
840
00:44:38,270 --> 00:44:39,905
- Oh.
- Okay!
841
00:44:41,506 --> 00:44:43,609
Well, you sure showed us.
842
00:44:43,742 --> 00:44:47,046
We are just so sorry that we
ever doubted your choices.
843
00:44:47,179 --> 00:44:48,680
- So proud of you.
- Thank you.
844
00:44:48,814 --> 00:44:51,783
- I never did doubt it.
- Yeah, it was mostly me.
845
00:44:51,917 --> 00:44:54,988
I just have to say that I am looking
around the room at these ceviches
846
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,223
and they all look beautiful,
but Mel, yours looks best of all.
847
00:44:58,357 --> 00:45:00,026
I appreciate that, Brook.
Thank you.
848
00:45:00,158 --> 00:45:04,229
Look at that, the lady in charge
complimenting Mel's ceviche!
849
00:45:04,363 --> 00:45:05,831
You gonna
suck her dick, too?
850
00:45:07,466 --> 00:45:08,900
I'm not interested
in sucking Brook's dick.
851
00:45:09,035 --> 00:45:11,236
I think you're just jealous
because Claire likes me more.
852
00:45:11,370 --> 00:45:12,804
Ooh.
853
00:45:12,939 --> 00:45:15,741
Why don't we move it on
to the chile rellenos, shall we?
854
00:45:15,874 --> 00:45:18,377
Step one,
we want to add a little cheese.
855
00:45:18,510 --> 00:45:20,479
And step two,
I actually don't have a penis.
856
00:45:20,612 --> 00:45:22,514
But if you did,
we would suck it.
857
00:45:22,648 --> 00:45:24,182
Yeah, she's
over the legal limit.
858
00:45:24,316 --> 00:45:27,252
Actually,
I'm very happy for Mel.
859
00:45:27,386 --> 00:45:30,288
She finally found someone
that likes her more than me.
860
00:45:30,422 --> 00:45:33,325
- Ooh, boy.
- Success has changed you.
861
00:45:33,458 --> 00:45:34,927
It's changed something,
that's for sure.
862
00:45:35,061 --> 00:45:38,397
I would express more shock,
but I've had so much Botox.
863
00:45:38,530 --> 00:45:40,666
Okay, it might be
time to kick it up a notch.
864
00:45:40,799 --> 00:45:43,301
So, I happened to bring with me
some ghost peppers.
865
00:45:43,435 --> 00:45:47,073
I will pass them around. Ladies,
I'm telling you, they are very spicy.
866
00:45:47,205 --> 00:45:48,707
Just a little sliver
goes a long way.
867
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,110
Wait, hold up.
Maybe you want to call Claire
868
00:45:51,243 --> 00:45:53,545
and ask her permission
to use a ghost pepper.
869
00:45:53,679 --> 00:45:56,381
Claire? Hello?
Are you on the line?
870
00:45:56,515 --> 00:45:58,417
Just call me
when you grow up, okay, Mi?
871
00:45:58,550 --> 00:46:01,186
Oh, when I grow up?
Oh, I'm grown. I'm real grown.
872
00:46:01,319 --> 00:46:03,990
You the one that's the crybaby.
You the one that cries all the time.
873
00:46:04,123 --> 00:46:05,323
Oh, oh.
874
00:46:05,457 --> 00:46:06,291
Why don't you call Claire
and cry to Claire?
875
00:46:06,425 --> 00:46:07,960
Go cry to Claire.
876
00:46:08,094 --> 00:46:10,462
The fake crying is gonna make me
lactate, but this is great.
877
00:46:10,595 --> 00:46:12,664
"Mia won't
let me kiss your ass."
878
00:46:12,798 --> 00:46:15,200
I think they're really mad at each other.
Shouldn't we do something?
879
00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:19,638
No! I have not seen adults be
shitty to each other in a minute.
880
00:46:19,771 --> 00:46:22,240
This is better than watching
that little bitch Caillou!
881
00:46:22,374 --> 00:46:23,575
Who the fuck
is Caillou?
882
00:46:23,709 --> 00:46:25,610
He's this kid on Nickelodeon.
Fucking idiot.
883
00:46:25,744 --> 00:46:28,714
Why don't we actually move
it on into the living room
884
00:46:28,847 --> 00:46:31,750
for some mezcal
and some tequila?
885
00:46:31,883 --> 00:46:33,485
Yeah!
886
00:46:33,618 --> 00:46:36,254
- Yeah!
- Dick or no dick, I love that Brook!
887
00:46:36,388 --> 00:46:38,091
- Whoo!
- It's-It's no dick.
888
00:46:38,223 --> 00:46:41,593
- More booze!
- Maybe we'll be swimming in a baby pool full of flan.
889
00:46:41,727 --> 00:46:43,295
- I would watch it.
- That's enough.
890
00:46:43,428 --> 00:46:47,566
I can have as many as I
want, 'cause I run this country.
891
00:46:50,235 --> 00:46:52,604
- You can have... It's birthday time.
- Thank you.
892
00:46:52,738 --> 00:46:55,041
You won't remember this anyway.
893
00:46:55,174 --> 00:46:57,709
You cry to Claire.
You cry to Claire.
894
00:47:02,914 --> 00:47:04,516
Chiles up your ass.
895
00:47:07,886 --> 00:47:10,422
Well, this is the first alcohol
I've had since the baby was born,
896
00:47:10,555 --> 00:47:13,092
and I got to tell you,
it feels right!
897
00:47:13,226 --> 00:47:14,227
Mm-hmm!
898
00:47:14,359 --> 00:47:15,761
Well, bon appétit.
899
00:47:15,894 --> 00:47:19,232
Or as they say
in español, buen provecho.
900
00:47:19,364 --> 00:47:23,035
Oui, oui.
901
00:47:23,169 --> 00:47:24,569
I want to do more of this.
902
00:47:24,703 --> 00:47:26,738
Have a birthday,
you want to make changes.
903
00:47:26,872 --> 00:47:29,341
- Oprah says you don't start living until you're 40.
- Mmm!
904
00:47:29,474 --> 00:47:31,244
- You okay?
- Yeah, but a little spicy.
905
00:47:31,376 --> 00:47:33,012
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
906
00:47:33,146 --> 00:47:34,880
Well, Mexican food
is spicy.
907
00:47:35,014 --> 00:47:37,749
Very hot.
908
00:47:38,617 --> 00:47:40,219
Nobody else's
lips are burning?
909
00:47:40,352 --> 00:47:41,453
No.
910
00:47:41,586 --> 00:47:44,890
Just ease up on the...
Have some water.
911
00:47:45,024 --> 00:47:46,424
Uh, chef?
912
00:47:46,558 --> 00:47:49,661
Do ghost peppers get hotter
when you cook them?
913
00:47:49,795 --> 00:47:51,496
No it shouldn't,
not if you just used a sliver.
914
00:47:51,630 --> 00:47:53,465
"Sliver"?
I want to see that movie.
915
00:47:53,598 --> 00:47:55,867
I learned how to masturbate
with that movie.
916
00:47:56,002 --> 00:47:56,936
That's not right.
917
00:47:57,069 --> 00:47:58,637
Okay.
918
00:47:58,770 --> 00:48:01,040
- Yeah, just have some water, honey.
- There you go.
919
00:48:01,174 --> 00:48:03,976
There go you.
That's better. That's right.
920
00:48:05,144 --> 00:48:06,511
Oh!
921
00:48:06,645 --> 00:48:09,215
It's getting hotter.
It's getting hotter.
922
00:48:09,347 --> 00:48:11,349
Oh, this is hot!
923
00:48:11,483 --> 00:48:13,451
Whoo!
924
00:48:14,786 --> 00:48:16,588
Why is she eating like a dog?
925
00:48:16,721 --> 00:48:18,257
Use a fork.
You look disgusting.
926
00:48:18,390 --> 00:48:20,293
Oh!
927
00:48:20,425 --> 00:48:21,928
No, no, no, no.
928
00:48:22,061 --> 00:48:23,829
Okay.
929
00:48:23,963 --> 00:48:27,300
It burns so bad it hurts!
It hurts!
930
00:48:27,432 --> 00:48:29,168
Breathe through it.
931
00:48:29,302 --> 00:48:30,535
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!
932
00:48:30,669 --> 00:48:32,637
- She's choking!
- I know Heimlich.
933
00:48:32,771 --> 00:48:34,073
I will save your life,
Mia!
934
00:48:34,207 --> 00:48:37,442
- You have to go higher.
- Keep it in the middle.
935
00:48:37,576 --> 00:48:41,479
- Yes. Yes.
- If you die on my carpet...
936
00:48:41,613 --> 00:48:43,381
Don't you die!
I swear to God.
937
00:48:43,515 --> 00:48:44,850
It didn't work.
938
00:48:44,984 --> 00:48:47,320
Here's some bread.
It'll soak it all up.
939
00:48:47,452 --> 00:48:50,488
- Oh, that's a lot of carbs!
- It's only 20 points.
940
00:48:50,622 --> 00:48:52,024
Here you go, honey. Milk.
941
00:48:52,158 --> 00:48:55,094
This is what I do with Ryder.
Mama's feeding you milk.
942
00:48:55,228 --> 00:48:56,428
There it is.
943
00:48:56,561 --> 00:48:57,762
There you go.
944
00:48:57,896 --> 00:48:59,999
It's goat's milk.
It's thick.
945
00:49:05,104 --> 00:49:09,875
This is the first
motherfucking night...
946
00:49:10,009 --> 00:49:13,312
since I had Ryder
that I washed my body.
947
00:49:13,445 --> 00:49:17,616
I did my hair, I put on some
makeup to hang out with my girls...
948
00:49:17,749 --> 00:49:21,753
instead of staying home eating wet
Cheerios stuck on my baby's crevices
949
00:49:21,887 --> 00:49:24,223
and his thick little thighs.
950
00:49:24,357 --> 00:49:25,824
Fuck you, Mia!
951
00:49:26,259 --> 00:49:27,659
Fuck you!
952
00:49:41,873 --> 00:49:44,010
Ooh, I pray for
the healing of this bootyhole.
953
00:49:44,143 --> 00:49:48,314
Please heal this bootyhole.
This is bad!
954
00:49:48,446 --> 00:49:50,482
Ooh.
955
00:49:55,453 --> 00:49:56,655
I'm in here!
956
00:49:56,788 --> 00:49:58,190
Yeah, that's you.
That's your fault.
957
00:49:58,324 --> 00:50:01,093
I am so sorry again about
what happened last night.
958
00:50:01,227 --> 00:50:03,595
I lost my mind for a minute.
I don't want to fight with you.
959
00:50:03,728 --> 00:50:06,966
I just want us to work together
and make this deal happen.
960
00:50:11,736 --> 00:50:15,041
Why the hell did you do that?
Barret's my best friend.
961
00:50:15,174 --> 00:50:18,244
And he's brilliant, and he's
tender, and you hurt him.
962
00:50:18,377 --> 00:50:20,279
We didn't have a choice.
963
00:50:20,413 --> 00:50:22,048
It sucks for all of us.
964
00:50:22,181 --> 00:50:24,616
No, but he was my person!
965
00:50:24,749 --> 00:50:27,519
And I know he's never
gonna be my husband, and...
966
00:50:27,652 --> 00:50:30,423
thanks to my therapist,
I'm learning to accept that.
967
00:50:30,555 --> 00:50:34,526
- Would you like a hug?
- No! I don't want a hug.
968
00:50:35,527 --> 00:50:37,029
What are you doing?
969
00:50:37,163 --> 00:50:39,398
What is wrong with you?
Yes, of course I would like a hug.
970
00:50:39,531 --> 00:50:40,632
I don't know
why you wouldn't know that.
971
00:50:40,765 --> 00:50:44,036
Surprise!
972
00:50:44,170 --> 00:50:47,605
It's the angry carrot.
What can I get you? Nothing? Good.
973
00:50:47,739 --> 00:50:52,711
Okay, girls, show me the presentation on the
two-sided lipstick idea you came up with.
974
00:50:52,844 --> 00:50:55,547
Well, everything has
gotten a little sidetracked
975
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,183
because of what
happened with Barret.
976
00:50:57,316 --> 00:50:58,951
Oh, my God!
977
00:50:59,085 --> 00:51:03,422
He's not even here anymore,
and he's still slowing down production!
978
00:51:03,555 --> 00:51:05,091
Come on.
Show me what you got.
979
00:51:05,224 --> 00:51:08,127
So, here we have
two normal lipsticks.
980
00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:11,896
And the idea is,
if we just join them together...
981
00:51:12,031 --> 00:51:15,234
You just stick them
together like that.
982
00:51:15,368 --> 00:51:17,136
Real hard, like they're,
983
00:51:17,269 --> 00:51:19,238
you know, two dogs mating.
984
00:51:23,376 --> 00:51:27,480
My Oviedo customers do not want
to think of the penis of a dog
985
00:51:27,612 --> 00:51:30,149
rubbing on their lips
because it's disgusting.
986
00:51:30,282 --> 00:51:31,583
Yes, disgusting.
987
00:51:31,716 --> 00:51:33,885
Two dogs copulating?
That's what you came up with?
988
00:51:34,020 --> 00:51:36,688
We're so off-track.
That's not what I meant.
989
00:51:36,821 --> 00:51:38,357
This is appalling.
990
00:51:38,491 --> 00:51:40,059
And it's your fault.
991
00:51:40,192 --> 00:51:43,628
You cannot let the other one get
in the middle of the creative.
992
00:51:43,762 --> 00:51:45,630
That one does the accounting.
993
00:51:45,764 --> 00:51:47,599
You know her limitations.
994
00:51:47,732 --> 00:51:49,301
You failed her!
995
00:51:49,435 --> 00:51:53,139
- Uh, you blaming me for the dog-sex lipstick?
- Yeah.
996
00:51:53,272 --> 00:51:55,474
I don't know what you want,
but this is not how you're gonna get it.
997
00:51:55,607 --> 00:51:56,775
Wow.
998
00:51:56,908 --> 00:51:58,777
I'm sorry. I loved dogs
when I was little.
999
00:51:58,910 --> 00:52:01,180
I mean, not their dicks, but...
1000
00:52:05,951 --> 00:52:08,454
I bet that little bag
is made out of his foreskin.
1001
00:52:11,157 --> 00:52:13,492
I think
we really disappointed her.
1002
00:52:13,625 --> 00:52:15,194
Take a Lyft!
1003
00:52:19,465 --> 00:52:23,568
Hey. So Claire's decided to bring a
different company to the launch party
1004
00:52:23,701 --> 00:52:24,970
instead of you.
1005
00:52:25,104 --> 00:52:27,073
- Whoa, whoa, what?
- What bitch is taking our spot?
1006
00:52:27,206 --> 00:52:30,642
It's actually two men. Straight guys.
You know them. Get Some?
1007
00:52:30,775 --> 00:52:31,944
She bought their company.
1008
00:52:32,078 --> 00:52:34,280
- Oh, no.
- Those Maroon 5-looking dudes?
1009
00:52:34,413 --> 00:52:37,249
Okay. You guys, they've actually
got a proven track record.
1010
00:52:37,383 --> 00:52:39,584
They created
the online-dating app PostD8.
1011
00:52:39,717 --> 00:52:40,919
What's PostD8?
1012
00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:42,555
It is a totally gross
and chauvinistic app,
1013
00:52:42,687 --> 00:52:45,257
where guys can go on and tell
women they've previously dated
1014
00:52:45,391 --> 00:52:48,394
what was wrong with them
to "help them out."
1015
00:52:48,527 --> 00:52:50,062
Yeah, I'm on it.
1016
00:52:50,196 --> 00:52:52,264
My landlord said that
my teeth are too sharp.
1017
00:52:52,398 --> 00:52:54,934
Why would Claire even want to be
associated with those pigs?
1018
00:52:55,067 --> 00:52:59,538
She didn't, okay?
That is why Claire is so upset with you.
1019
00:52:59,671 --> 00:53:01,207
She is a feminist!
1020
00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:04,276
And now, because of you guys,
she has to go with two dudes.
1021
00:53:04,410 --> 00:53:05,743
- That makes zero sense.
- Yeah.
1022
00:53:05,877 --> 00:53:07,947
Okay, I'll explain.
Good news, your debt is paid.
1023
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,949
Bad news, Claire's
never helping you again.
1024
00:53:10,082 --> 00:53:11,484
And, per your contract,
you now have to give Claire
1025
00:53:11,616 --> 00:53:15,554
49 cents of every dollar
for the rest of your lives.
1026
00:53:15,687 --> 00:53:19,924
So, yeah, keep moisturizing,
'cause you're gonna need those looks.
1027
00:53:21,427 --> 00:53:24,296
♪ If your upper lip is hairy ♪
1028
00:53:24,430 --> 00:53:26,065
Are these the guys?
1029
00:53:26,198 --> 00:53:30,069
♪ You can fix it With a
blast of Poppin' Cherry! ♪
1030
00:53:30,202 --> 00:53:33,771
The lyrics
are beyond offensive, but...
1031
00:53:33,905 --> 00:53:36,208
the melody is beautiful!
1032
00:53:36,342 --> 00:53:38,511
Get some Get Some,
and you'll get some.
1033
00:53:38,643 --> 00:53:40,778
What happened to her whole
thing of mentoring women
1034
00:53:40,912 --> 00:53:43,015
to recreate her sweet rise?
1035
00:53:43,149 --> 00:53:45,985
I don't know, but she ain't
getting away with this shit.
1036
00:53:47,086 --> 00:53:49,622
We're getting out of this deal.
She's done messing with us!
1037
00:53:49,754 --> 00:53:54,360
I really thought she was gonna
take care of us. I believed her.
1038
00:53:54,493 --> 00:53:56,828
And she's such a lying...
1039
00:53:58,297 --> 00:53:59,398
snake!
1040
00:54:00,499 --> 00:54:02,001
Really?
1041
00:54:02,134 --> 00:54:03,868
- That's all you could come up with?
- What would you call her?
1042
00:54:04,003 --> 00:54:07,473
I would say that
she's a yeasty-ass, pussy-ass,
1043
00:54:07,606 --> 00:54:09,475
tomfoolery-lookin'
motherfucking...
1044
00:54:09,608 --> 00:54:12,311
I don't even know what tomfoolery is,
but it seem like something that fits her.
1045
00:54:12,444 --> 00:54:14,846
She got blue waffles.
You know what blue waffles is?
1046
00:54:14,980 --> 00:54:18,917
That's when your coochie looks
like it's from The Walking Dead.
1047
00:54:19,051 --> 00:54:20,986
'Cause she ain't shit!
1048
00:54:26,926 --> 00:54:28,661
Claire's in a meeting right now.
1049
00:54:28,793 --> 00:54:32,797
My Payless BOGOs are about to be in
a meeting with your ass... right now.
1050
00:54:38,736 --> 00:54:39,704
It's Claire.
1051
00:54:39,837 --> 00:54:41,674
What?
1052
00:54:42,874 --> 00:54:44,510
- Let us up there.
- Right now.
1053
00:54:44,643 --> 00:54:47,779
No. Maybe next time somebody
gives you an opportunity,
1054
00:54:47,912 --> 00:54:51,617
you'll step up your pussies
instead of wasting it.
1055
00:54:51,749 --> 00:54:52,985
Ta-ta!
1056
00:54:59,959 --> 00:55:01,694
- Come on, girl.
- Go, go, go.
1057
00:55:01,826 --> 00:55:03,229
Marcus, get them.
1058
00:55:03,362 --> 00:55:06,165
- We coming for you, Claire!
- Come back here!
1059
00:55:06,298 --> 00:55:09,101
Stand down, sir.
Thank you, sir. Stand down.
1060
00:55:09,235 --> 00:55:10,802
Let's not make this hard,
ladies.
1061
00:55:10,936 --> 00:55:12,571
Thank you very much,
sir! Goodbye!
1062
00:55:15,773 --> 00:55:17,309
What the fuck?
1063
00:55:17,443 --> 00:55:19,278
Go, go, go, go.
1064
00:55:19,411 --> 00:55:20,579
Stop right there!
1065
00:55:20,713 --> 00:55:23,449
We're coming to meet with Claire.
Everything's fine!
1066
00:55:26,418 --> 00:55:29,921
- I think he could be dead!
- He's good. I saw his legs moving.
1067
00:55:30,788 --> 00:55:32,358
Oh, my God. Okay.
1068
00:55:32,491 --> 00:55:34,727
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
- Back, back, back.
1069
00:55:34,859 --> 00:55:36,929
Oh! Come on. Shit!
1070
00:55:38,597 --> 00:55:41,967
- There's been a misunderstanding.
- We're here to see Claire.
1071
00:55:42,101 --> 00:55:43,936
We're here to do services
on Claire Luna.
1072
00:55:44,069 --> 00:55:48,574
Yes! Yes, see,
we are gonna bleach her butthole.
1073
00:55:48,707 --> 00:55:50,075
And it's really big.
1074
00:55:50,209 --> 00:55:51,809
- That's why there's two of us.
- Exactly.
1075
00:55:51,944 --> 00:55:53,811
- You need to come with us.
- You get away from me!
1076
00:55:54,980 --> 00:55:56,615
- Ma'am?
- You want some, too?
1077
00:55:57,483 --> 00:55:59,618
- Son of a bitch!
- That was right in the nipple.
1078
00:55:59,752 --> 00:56:02,820
Get Claire Luna down here
right now or I'm gonna jump.
1079
00:56:02,955 --> 00:56:04,423
Pronto. What?
1080
00:56:04,556 --> 00:56:05,691
Yep, I am gonna jump.
1081
00:56:05,823 --> 00:56:07,359
Hey, hey, hey.
1082
00:56:07,493 --> 00:56:11,363
- This is for real. Yes, we will.
- This isn't funny. No, no, no...
1083
00:56:11,497 --> 00:56:15,200
We're gonna paint this whole
downstairs with blood, teeth and hair.
1084
00:56:15,334 --> 00:56:16,801
- Nope. Mia!
- Let's do it.
1085
00:56:16,935 --> 00:56:18,937
We are not bluffing.
1086
00:56:19,071 --> 00:56:21,707
Get Claire Luna right now!
1087
00:56:21,839 --> 00:56:23,208
Oh, shit!
1088
00:56:24,710 --> 00:56:26,345
Oh, my God, Mia!
1089
00:56:36,622 --> 00:56:38,290
Grab! Help me!
1090
00:56:38,424 --> 00:56:41,826
This is not what I wanted to happen, Mel.
Don't you fucking drop me!
1091
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,729
Trust me, I got you!
1092
00:56:46,298 --> 00:56:48,767
- We got you.
- Don't you drop me!
1093
00:56:48,900 --> 00:56:50,969
I'm never gonna let you go.
I have you.
1094
00:56:55,941 --> 00:56:58,277
I fucking hate drones!
1095
00:56:58,410 --> 00:56:59,611
Ah, shit!
1096
00:56:59,745 --> 00:57:00,979
Grab the flag!
1097
00:57:01,113 --> 00:57:02,514
Come on, let's go.
1098
00:57:02,648 --> 00:57:05,617
I didn't kill your cousin.
It was suicide!
1099
00:57:06,652 --> 00:57:08,287
Help me, guys!
1100
00:57:09,021 --> 00:57:10,689
Oh, I'm so glad I been planking.
1101
00:57:12,491 --> 00:57:14,093
Come on.
1102
00:57:14,226 --> 00:57:18,597
Ooh. How you know this my favorite
position? That's my favorite right there.
1103
00:57:18,731 --> 00:57:20,165
Oh, my God.
1104
00:57:20,299 --> 00:57:22,867
What you doing here?
We're waiting for Claire.
1105
00:57:23,001 --> 00:57:26,038
I'm a tiny, tiny,
tiny, tiny...
1106
00:57:26,638 --> 00:57:28,374
bit impressed.
1107
00:57:32,244 --> 00:57:34,012
That's quite a scene
you made in my house.
1108
00:57:34,146 --> 00:57:36,382
- And I'm not sorry at all.
- Neither am I.
1109
00:57:40,119 --> 00:57:42,654
Actually, that's a lie.
I am.
1110
00:57:42,788 --> 00:57:44,556
Very sorry and embarrassed.
1111
00:57:44,690 --> 00:57:47,426
- I apologize for the both of us.
- Don't apologize for me.
1112
00:57:47,559 --> 00:57:49,862
Okay, I won't.
But I apologize for me.
1113
00:57:49,995 --> 00:57:51,997
Can you please
just give us another chance?
1114
00:57:52,131 --> 00:57:55,868
I don't want another chance.
I don't want to be in her world at all.
1115
00:57:56,001 --> 00:57:57,336
And here's what's about
to happen, okay?
1116
00:57:57,469 --> 00:57:59,972
You're giving us
our company back!
1117
00:58:00,806 --> 00:58:02,441
No problem.
1118
00:58:03,642 --> 00:58:07,446
You just pay me back the half a
million that I paid for your debt.
1119
00:58:07,579 --> 00:58:11,750
Plus interest. Plus $4,000
for the drone you destroyed.
1120
00:58:11,884 --> 00:58:12,885
You destroyed it.
1121
00:58:13,018 --> 00:58:14,586
Fine.
1122
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,723
For the drone you were going to
steal and you made me destroy.
1123
00:58:17,856 --> 00:58:20,426
Let's just call it 600K,
shall we?
1124
00:58:25,764 --> 00:58:27,499
You can add this to my tab.
1125
00:58:34,973 --> 00:58:37,476
Was that "fierst"
enough for you?
1126
00:58:47,519 --> 00:58:51,356
I know the real reason why
you keep messing with us.
1127
00:58:51,490 --> 00:58:54,693
You can't stand to see two best
friends living their best life
1128
00:58:54,827 --> 00:58:56,562
and running
a business together.
1129
00:58:56,695 --> 00:58:59,398
It's the only thing
you ever failed at in life.
1130
00:59:03,135 --> 00:59:04,670
Do you think she's right?
1131
00:59:07,005 --> 00:59:09,475
No. No. No.
1132
00:59:09,608 --> 00:59:11,910
You're successful,
you're independent.
1133
00:59:12,044 --> 00:59:14,613
Who wouldn't want to be you?
1134
00:59:15,814 --> 00:59:17,583
What do you think, Mia?
1135
00:59:18,517 --> 00:59:20,786
She telling you
what you want to hear.
1136
00:59:21,453 --> 00:59:22,855
I think you're right.
1137
00:59:22,988 --> 00:59:24,990
And that's smart.
1138
00:59:25,959 --> 00:59:28,160
She knows where the power is.
1139
00:59:29,461 --> 00:59:32,531
I'm going to gift you
one last chance.
1140
00:59:32,664 --> 00:59:36,535
I host an event every month for insiders.
It's called, "Beauty and Bubbles."
1141
00:59:36,668 --> 00:59:40,305
You ladies are gonna do
a live tutorial there.
1142
00:59:40,439 --> 00:59:43,575
And if it's well received,
then you're back on track
1143
00:59:43,709 --> 00:59:46,845
and I will present you
at my launch party.
1144
00:59:46,980 --> 00:59:49,615
If you mess it up,
then you're out.
1145
00:59:49,748 --> 00:59:51,717
Thank you so much.
1146
00:59:52,117 --> 00:59:53,352
No way.
1147
01:00:03,829 --> 01:00:06,732
It's like she says no to
things just to piss me off.
1148
01:00:06,865 --> 01:00:11,004
I feel I have to walk on eggshells when
I'm around her, or she'll freak out.
1149
01:00:11,136 --> 01:00:12,838
You remind me of myself.
1150
01:00:12,972 --> 01:00:14,007
Oh.
1151
01:00:14,139 --> 01:00:16,174
When I was whiny
and weak and lame.
1152
01:00:16,842 --> 01:00:18,210
Remember my former partner?
1153
01:00:18,343 --> 01:00:19,845
- Shay Whitmore?
- Shh. We don't have to say the name.
1154
01:00:19,979 --> 01:00:23,016
That woman disagreed
with every single thing I did.
1155
01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:27,486
Eventually, I stopped telling her things.
I was keeping things from her.
1156
01:00:27,619 --> 01:00:29,821
Same! But I don't want to
do that with Mia anymore.
1157
01:00:29,956 --> 01:00:33,058
Then you have to stand up to her
like I did with Shay.
1158
01:00:33,191 --> 01:00:35,627
Nothing will change
in your company...
1159
01:00:36,628 --> 01:00:39,131
until you change.
1160
01:00:39,264 --> 01:00:41,166
- You feel me?
- Mm-hmm.
1161
01:00:53,712 --> 01:00:55,113
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1162
01:00:57,549 --> 01:00:59,518
I need to talk to you.
We're going to Beauty and Bubbles,
1163
01:00:59,651 --> 01:01:01,286
and I'm not taking no
for an answer.
1164
01:01:01,420 --> 01:01:04,389
- I'm not going.
- No, you are going, okay?
1165
01:01:04,523 --> 01:01:07,225
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.
1166
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:09,494
Really?
1167
01:01:09,628 --> 01:01:10,796
Mm-hmm.
1168
01:01:16,501 --> 01:01:17,536
Ooh!
1169
01:01:20,138 --> 01:01:22,041
You can clean that up.
1170
01:01:22,174 --> 01:01:25,310
You been doing cocaine and
didn't ask me if I wanted some?
1171
01:01:25,444 --> 01:01:27,279
That was a lifetime promise.
1172
01:01:29,514 --> 01:01:31,084
Please.
1173
01:01:31,216 --> 01:01:34,486
You know that I won't be able to live
with myself if I don't at least try.
1174
01:01:41,326 --> 01:01:43,895
Okay, I'll go.
1175
01:01:44,030 --> 01:01:45,297
For you.
1176
01:01:49,936 --> 01:01:52,471
Hello, you fabulous women!
1177
01:01:52,604 --> 01:01:57,242
Welcome to my ongoing
series, Beauty and Bubbles.
1178
01:01:57,376 --> 01:02:02,648
Tonight we are going to pit two emerging
cosmetic duos against each other,
1179
01:02:02,781 --> 01:02:09,088
and you get to decide which
one will join my Oviedo empire.
1180
01:02:09,221 --> 01:02:13,825
From Mia & Mel, please welcome Mia and Mel.
1181
01:02:15,995 --> 01:02:17,396
What is this, Claire?
1182
01:02:17,529 --> 01:02:21,733
And from Get Some Cosmetics,
please welcome Greg and Ron.
1183
01:02:21,867 --> 01:02:24,469
- You guys look gorgeous.
- Get Some! Claire Bear!
1184
01:02:24,603 --> 01:02:29,808
Our gorgeous guinea pigs
are Layla and Lola Farrell.
1185
01:02:32,644 --> 01:02:33,311
Twins?
1186
01:02:33,445 --> 01:02:34,646
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
1187
01:02:34,780 --> 01:02:37,315
Okay, Greg and Ron,
show us what you've got.
1188
01:02:37,449 --> 01:02:39,918
Let's do this. Get Some!
Have a seat, milady.
1189
01:02:40,053 --> 01:02:43,755
You know, we are gonna
turn this face from "meh"...
1190
01:02:43,889 --> 01:02:45,424
to "meh-gnificent."
1191
01:02:45,557 --> 01:02:47,726
Mia? Mel?
Come on, girls!
1192
01:02:51,430 --> 01:02:55,400
Lot of blemishes. A lot going
on here. I think we'll do a max glam.
1193
01:02:55,534 --> 01:02:57,070
- How are you today?
- Good.
1194
01:02:57,202 --> 01:03:01,074
Good. Your skin looks amazing!
What do you do to keep it up?
1195
01:03:01,206 --> 01:03:03,742
- I drink a lot of water.
- That is the key.
1196
01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:06,478
When they get pissed off, it's over.
1197
01:03:06,611 --> 01:03:09,481
- Put some lips on you, and it'll be great.
- Smile for me.
1198
01:03:09,614 --> 01:03:12,517
- Okay, don't smile. Just do the pout.
- We don't fix teeth here.
1199
01:03:12,651 --> 01:03:14,153
What do you love about makeup?
1200
01:03:14,286 --> 01:03:17,823
I love how fun it is.
And you're like, "Oh, my God, I'm hot."
1201
01:03:17,957 --> 01:03:20,492
Who do you think is gonna crack
first, Mel or Mia?
1202
01:03:20,625 --> 01:03:23,029
- Your lashes are thickish and longish.
- Yeah.
1203
01:03:23,162 --> 01:03:25,831
You just need to shine a
light on them with a bit of...
1204
01:03:25,965 --> 01:03:27,365
- ...mascara.
- Mm-hmm.
1205
01:03:27,499 --> 01:03:30,302
- There you go. Beautiful.
- Thank you.
1206
01:03:30,435 --> 01:03:32,804
- No, I was talking about his technique.
- Thank you.
1207
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:42,647
- It's beautiful.
- Right?
1208
01:03:46,284 --> 01:03:48,720
Now let's see how everyone did.
1209
01:03:48,854 --> 01:03:51,523
Mia and Mel,
walk us through Layla's look.
1210
01:03:51,656 --> 01:03:53,092
Yes.
1211
01:03:53,226 --> 01:03:56,895
At Mia & Mel, we're not about
painting it on. We don't like that.
1212
01:03:57,029 --> 01:04:00,599
We like to see it shine through.
Look at you!
1213
01:04:00,732 --> 01:04:01,666
Thank you.
1214
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,970
Now, fellas,
show us your look.
1215
01:04:04,736 --> 01:04:06,738
Voilà.
1216
01:04:08,107 --> 01:04:09,641
Lola is a very cute girl,
1217
01:04:09,775 --> 01:04:12,711
but we knew she could
be a stone-cold fox.
1218
01:04:12,844 --> 01:04:16,715
So we started with an all-over matte
foundation to cover up her flaws.
1219
01:04:16,848 --> 01:04:20,219
Then, of course, we finished it
with our signature Get Some...
1220
01:04:20,352 --> 01:04:22,255
...Poppin' Cherry Lipstick.
1221
01:04:22,387 --> 01:04:25,390
Lola, Layla,
please come closer.
1222
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:32,497
It's funny. It's almost like
a before and after, right?
1223
01:04:37,136 --> 01:04:39,005
Actually, we're not finished yet.
Sit down.
1224
01:04:39,138 --> 01:04:41,040
What? We did what we wanted.
Leave it alone.
1225
01:04:41,174 --> 01:04:43,875
We're not done. We just have a
little more work to do on our twin.
1226
01:04:44,010 --> 01:04:46,245
- Just give me a second.
- What are you doing?
1227
01:04:46,378 --> 01:04:48,747
- What is wrong with you?
- I'm fixing this.
1228
01:04:49,815 --> 01:04:51,416
You can't keep trying
to please someone
1229
01:04:51,550 --> 01:04:53,418
who keeps
screwing you over and over.
1230
01:04:53,552 --> 01:04:55,054
She's not your mother.
1231
01:04:56,421 --> 01:04:59,125
Mel, you are so right
about her.
1232
01:04:59,258 --> 01:05:02,929
She really is ruthless when
she doesn't get what she wants.
1233
01:05:03,062 --> 01:05:07,033
I see what you mean by always having
to walk on eggshells around her.
1234
01:05:09,768 --> 01:05:11,503
So that's
what you're doing?
1235
01:05:11,636 --> 01:05:15,074
You're sitting around talking shit
about me with Claire behind my back?
1236
01:05:16,075 --> 01:05:19,778
No, I just don't know how
to deal with you sometimes!
1237
01:05:19,911 --> 01:05:23,715
Well, you could've figured that out
a long time ago by just trusting me.
1238
01:05:23,849 --> 01:05:27,352
You don't have to deal
with me no more. I quit.
1239
01:05:45,403 --> 01:05:47,472
You just gave her
control of our company!
1240
01:05:47,606 --> 01:05:50,042
Hasn't been our company
for a long time, Mel.
1241
01:05:50,176 --> 01:05:51,409
That is not true!
1242
01:05:51,543 --> 01:05:53,511
The only reason
you ever wanted us to succeed
1243
01:05:53,645 --> 01:05:54,880
is 'cause you're obsessed
1244
01:05:55,014 --> 01:05:56,681
with what everybody
thinks about you.
1245
01:05:56,815 --> 01:05:58,251
You don't care
what anyone thinks.
1246
01:05:58,416 --> 01:06:00,886
You just do whatever you want to do.
You're so selfish!
1247
01:06:01,020 --> 01:06:02,054
- I'm selfish?
- Yeah!
1248
01:06:02,188 --> 01:06:03,622
I've been taking care of you
1249
01:06:03,755 --> 01:06:05,358
since the first day I walked
into your broke-ass home.
1250
01:06:05,490 --> 01:06:07,026
So I'm just a charity case? Huh?
1251
01:06:07,159 --> 01:06:09,061
I wish you'd told me that
so I didn't waste my life
1252
01:06:09,195 --> 01:06:11,630
trying to get you to do things
you're too scared to do!
1253
01:06:11,763 --> 01:06:13,165
This ain't about you
supporting me.
1254
01:06:13,299 --> 01:06:16,235
It's about you trying to prove
that you're not a nobody!
1255
01:06:16,969 --> 01:06:19,638
I'd rather be a nobody
than a bully.
1256
01:06:19,771 --> 01:06:23,209
I'm done with you
weighing me down.
1257
01:06:23,342 --> 01:06:26,411
This last 20 years
has been a waste.
1258
01:06:55,507 --> 01:06:58,945
You guys were right. We never should've
started the company to begin with.
1259
01:06:59,078 --> 01:07:02,381
Oh, my God, the only reason
that we were so bitchy about it
1260
01:07:02,514 --> 01:07:04,083
is because
we were so jealous of you.
1261
01:07:04,216 --> 01:07:07,119
It's true.
So much of my diary is designated
1262
01:07:07,253 --> 01:07:10,789
to feeling left out and jealous
of you and Mel's friendship.
1263
01:07:10,922 --> 01:07:13,525
You got to hang out every day
with your best friend.
1264
01:07:13,658 --> 01:07:16,861
We get to hang out with our families,
which is great, but sometimes...
1265
01:07:16,996 --> 01:07:20,865
We get to hang out with our
families, which is awesome, but
1266
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,501
sometimes you just want to
be with your friends.
1267
01:07:23,635 --> 01:07:28,441
You two are gonna work it out.
You're like sisters. It's beautiful.
1268
01:07:28,573 --> 01:07:30,176
Yeah, Kim's right.
1269
01:07:30,309 --> 01:07:32,877
I mean, I don't know anything
about sisters as I'm an only child,
1270
01:07:33,012 --> 01:07:36,815
but it is beautiful,
and you will work it out.
1271
01:07:37,515 --> 01:07:39,151
Thanks, ladies.
1272
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:42,821
I don't know.
1273
01:07:49,195 --> 01:07:50,895
What are you doing?
1274
01:07:51,964 --> 01:07:53,432
Zillowing.
1275
01:07:53,565 --> 01:07:58,137
I have to find more affordable
housing, as I am currently unemployed.
1276
01:08:07,346 --> 01:08:09,148
It's a knockoff.
1277
01:08:09,281 --> 01:08:10,715
Clearly.
1278
01:08:10,849 --> 01:08:12,851
I'm sorry, Barret.
1279
01:08:13,486 --> 01:08:15,520
We never should've
fired you.
1280
01:08:15,653 --> 01:08:18,024
You know,
I'm not mad that you fired me.
1281
01:08:18,157 --> 01:08:20,226
I know that Claire
gave you no choice.
1282
01:08:20,359 --> 01:08:23,429
What I don't understand is why
you never called me afterwards.
1283
01:08:23,561 --> 01:08:25,197
This is the first time
we're speaking.
1284
01:08:25,331 --> 01:08:28,367
And I suspect it's only because
you don't have Mel right now.
1285
01:08:28,501 --> 01:08:31,770
- I can't do this.
- Sit your ass down!
1286
01:08:32,904 --> 01:08:35,007
I ain't done with you yet.
1287
01:08:37,109 --> 01:08:40,012
Do you understand
what Mel does for you?
1288
01:08:40,146 --> 01:08:42,415
- She doesn't do...
- You have no idea.
1289
01:08:42,547 --> 01:08:46,285
Every day, she comes into the
store, she sets it up perfectly,
1290
01:08:46,419 --> 01:08:50,122
so you can come in and be a
whirling dervish of creativity.
1291
01:08:50,256 --> 01:08:51,390
And when it's all over...
1292
01:08:51,991 --> 01:08:53,558
she cleans up after you
1293
01:08:53,691 --> 01:08:56,062
so you can come back in the next
day and do it all over again.
1294
01:08:56,195 --> 01:08:58,431
And I suspect
it's the same at home.
1295
01:08:59,331 --> 01:09:03,302
I mean, she does put toothpaste
on my toothbrush.
1296
01:09:03,436 --> 01:09:05,237
Almost every day.
1297
01:09:09,408 --> 01:09:11,143
Hey, Syd.
1298
01:09:11,277 --> 01:09:14,313
How are you? That's a pretty dress.
Where's it from?
1299
01:09:14,447 --> 01:09:20,086
Oh. Yeah, I found it on a chain-link
fence out in front of the school.
1300
01:09:20,219 --> 01:09:21,753
Yeah.
1301
01:09:22,821 --> 01:09:26,258
It's been pretty dull
without you. Both of you.
1302
01:09:26,392 --> 01:09:27,725
Syd...
1303
01:09:29,295 --> 01:09:32,298
Mia and I aren't gonna
work together anymore.
1304
01:09:32,932 --> 01:09:34,632
Can I tell you something?
1305
01:09:34,766 --> 01:09:38,903
I just know that you're so scared
that you can't tell her anything.
1306
01:09:39,038 --> 01:09:41,474
So you can't
work anything out.
1307
01:09:41,606 --> 01:09:43,976
That's how this whole mess
started.
1308
01:09:44,977 --> 01:09:46,011
Fuck.
1309
01:09:46,145 --> 01:09:48,913
Come on.
You guys got to come back to work.
1310
01:09:49,048 --> 01:09:51,517
You do. I mean,
did you see this?
1311
01:09:51,649 --> 01:09:53,352
I found this
on the Get Some website.
1312
01:09:53,486 --> 01:09:57,123
Claire Luna is introducing a
new product at her launch party.
1313
01:09:57,655 --> 01:09:59,657
What?
1314
01:09:59,791 --> 01:10:03,262
She ripped us off.
That's One Night Stand!
1315
01:10:03,395 --> 01:10:06,165
You're gonna let someone
just take your best seller?
1316
01:10:06,298 --> 01:10:08,700
And your best friend?
1317
01:10:16,841 --> 01:10:18,110
I was just about to call you!
1318
01:10:18,244 --> 01:10:20,045
Where are you?
I need to tell you something.
1319
01:10:20,179 --> 01:10:21,580
I just left the store.
Where are you?
1320
01:10:21,713 --> 01:10:23,449
I'm headed towards the store.
I'll find you.
1321
01:10:23,582 --> 01:10:27,019
I have to tell you something.
I can't believe I brought that tiny...
1322
01:10:27,153 --> 01:10:29,088
What I have to tell you
is way more important.
1323
01:10:29,221 --> 01:10:31,490
No, it's not more important
than what I have to tell you.
1324
01:10:31,624 --> 01:10:33,025
I need to apologize.
1325
01:10:33,159 --> 01:10:35,594
I was so blind to everything you do.
You were right.
1326
01:10:35,727 --> 01:10:39,198
I was scared.
I was unfair to you, and...
1327
01:10:45,371 --> 01:10:47,672
I'm so sorry
I ever took you for granted.
1328
01:10:47,805 --> 01:10:49,375
I'm so sorry.
1329
01:10:49,508 --> 01:10:52,511
No, you were right.
I need to change, and I'm gonna do better.
1330
01:10:53,345 --> 01:10:56,148
I just don't ever
want to disappoint you.
1331
01:10:56,282 --> 01:10:59,285
You're my family.
You're my home.
1332
01:11:01,453 --> 01:11:03,788
I don't know
what I would do without you.
1333
01:11:03,922 --> 01:11:06,525
Girl, I didn't brush my
teeth for three weeks!
1334
01:11:08,127 --> 01:11:11,463
I'm so sorry I ever believed
anything she ever said.
1335
01:11:11,597 --> 01:11:13,065
I'm sorry I blew our chance.
1336
01:11:13,199 --> 01:11:14,667
We never had a chance!
You were right.
1337
01:11:14,799 --> 01:11:17,069
She gave One Night Stand
to the Get Some guys.
1338
01:11:17,203 --> 01:11:18,370
Ooh.
1339
01:11:18,504 --> 01:11:21,607
Nobody steals our ideas
and gets away with it.
1340
01:11:22,608 --> 01:11:26,145
You know what?
We're gonna break this bitch's back.
1341
01:11:55,975 --> 01:11:57,909
Thank you for seeing me.
1342
01:11:58,043 --> 01:12:00,812
Yes, Mia Paige,
how can I help you?
1343
01:12:02,481 --> 01:12:03,881
I have an offer for you.
1344
01:12:04,016 --> 01:12:06,818
A sweet-ass offer
that you won't want to refuse.
1345
01:12:13,758 --> 01:12:15,294
Let's move!
1346
01:12:28,340 --> 01:12:30,175
- Look at this crowd, baby!
- Oh, yeah.
1347
01:12:33,979 --> 01:12:36,548
Ladies and gentlemen,
the queen of cosmetic chic,
1348
01:12:36,949 --> 01:12:39,285
Claire Luna!
1349
01:12:40,486 --> 01:12:44,523
Hello, you fabulous women!
1350
01:12:45,790 --> 01:12:47,626
I just adore this event
1351
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:52,298
because this is when I get to introduce
my debutantes to the cosmetics world.
1352
01:12:52,431 --> 01:12:53,898
Yeah.
1353
01:12:54,033 --> 01:12:56,101
These two are geniuses.
1354
01:12:56,235 --> 01:13:01,140
And together we have an
incredible new product to launch
1355
01:13:01,273 --> 01:13:04,909
that you ladies will lose your minds over.
1356
01:13:05,044 --> 01:13:08,113
Are you ready
to lose your minds?
1357
01:13:09,648 --> 01:13:11,016
Ladies and gentlemen...
1358
01:13:11,150 --> 01:13:15,454
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage,
1359
01:13:15,587 --> 01:13:17,723
Mia and Mel!
1360
01:13:17,855 --> 01:13:20,225
- Yes, ladies, ladies.
- Ladies.
1361
01:13:22,094 --> 01:13:26,131
Thank you. We couldn't be
more thrilled to be here
1362
01:13:26,265 --> 01:13:29,867
and have the support of this
strong woman right here.
1363
01:13:30,002 --> 01:13:31,937
Thank you, Claire,
for supporting all women.
1364
01:13:32,071 --> 01:13:33,339
Thank you, Claire!
1365
01:13:34,606 --> 01:13:37,142
This is like hugging
a little Mexican Barbie doll.
1366
01:13:37,276 --> 01:13:40,412
- Like a bunch of celery.
- Are those Spanx?
1367
01:13:44,183 --> 01:13:46,051
It is because of you, Claire,
that we can stand here
1368
01:13:46,185 --> 01:13:52,291
and have the chance to share with you all
what we believe is the core of beauty:
1369
01:13:52,758 --> 01:13:54,159
Each other.
1370
01:13:54,293 --> 01:13:55,327
Mmm.
1371
01:13:57,529 --> 01:13:59,698
Friendship isn't
just about the high points.
1372
01:13:59,832 --> 01:14:02,735
It's about the low points, too.
And everything in between.
1373
01:14:02,867 --> 01:14:05,471
You really think you're gonna
get away with this shit?
1374
01:14:05,604 --> 01:14:06,705
Mm-hmm.
1375
01:14:07,905 --> 01:14:11,677
Um, do they judge me when I
get too drunk at baby showers?
1376
01:14:11,810 --> 01:14:13,212
A hundred percent.
1377
01:14:14,246 --> 01:14:16,515
But at the end of the day,
1378
01:14:16,648 --> 01:14:19,218
look at this skin,
look at this smile,
1379
01:14:19,351 --> 01:14:21,186
look at these hearts.
You know what I mean?
1380
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:23,789
- I love you guys so much.
- I love you guys, too.
1381
01:14:26,592 --> 01:14:29,228
- Go do something!
- Like what? They're already on the stage.
1382
01:14:29,361 --> 01:14:32,364
- So? Go get...
- Hey! Hey! Let them finish.
1383
01:14:32,498 --> 01:14:33,665
Get rid of it.
1384
01:14:33,799 --> 01:14:35,801
- Can I have that back?
- Oh, come on!
1385
01:14:35,934 --> 01:14:37,970
I've got butt plugs
way bigger than you.
1386
01:14:38,103 --> 01:14:40,105
Fine, I'll stop...
1387
01:14:40,239 --> 01:14:43,275
Yours are made
of stone. Ow.
1388
01:14:43,409 --> 01:14:47,212
You pumpkin-spiced turd!
I'm gonna pull all this shit off!
1389
01:14:47,346 --> 01:14:49,581
Josh, Josh, Josh,
you're fired!
1390
01:14:50,015 --> 01:14:51,550
What?
1391
01:14:53,318 --> 01:14:55,988
You can't depend on no man
to bring you happiness.
1392
01:14:56,121 --> 01:14:57,623
That's my cue.
1393
01:14:57,756 --> 01:14:59,391
You're right,
and I really needed to hear that.
1394
01:14:59,525 --> 01:15:01,260
The happiness is on the inside.
We taught you that, right?
1395
01:15:01,393 --> 01:15:02,661
It sounds like such a cliché,
1396
01:15:02,795 --> 01:15:05,264
- but it really is true.
- It's the truth!
1397
01:15:05,397 --> 01:15:07,232
I mean, you're just
such an incredible friend.
1398
01:15:07,366 --> 01:15:11,236
And if I get hit by a bus on the way out
of here, I just want you to know that
1399
01:15:11,370 --> 01:15:12,504
he really was my best friend.
1400
01:15:22,414 --> 01:15:25,451
Ladies, we have a new product
for all you besties out there
1401
01:15:25,584 --> 01:15:28,253
who've been brave enough
to ride out the rough patches
1402
01:15:28,387 --> 01:15:30,989
and get stronger
on the other end.
1403
01:15:31,123 --> 01:15:33,959
This is "Ride or Die",
y'all!
1404
01:15:35,461 --> 01:15:38,397
A custom beauty kit that
allows you and your best friend
1405
01:15:38,530 --> 01:15:41,667
to pretty it up
while you break it down.
1406
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:43,335
Where my besties at, huh?
1407
01:15:43,469 --> 01:15:46,505
We're the ones who stuck it out
through all that shit!
1408
01:15:46,638 --> 01:15:48,974
- Y'all know what I'm talking about.
- "Ride or Die."
1409
01:15:49,107 --> 01:15:51,543
Check it out, ladies.
See? Look at that.
1410
01:15:52,110 --> 01:15:53,612
They're a hit.
1411
01:15:53,745 --> 01:15:56,348
- Does this mean I'm still fired?
- Hell, yes.
1412
01:15:57,850 --> 01:16:01,320
Well, good luck trying to
find your purse without me!
1413
01:16:02,254 --> 01:16:04,056
I left it where it usually is.
1414
01:16:11,230 --> 01:16:13,765
Okay, I forgive you.
1415
01:16:13,899 --> 01:16:15,534
This is gonna be great
for Oviedo!
1416
01:16:15,667 --> 01:16:17,636
Oh, this is not
for your company.
1417
01:16:17,769 --> 01:16:19,238
Baby, I own you.
1418
01:16:19,371 --> 01:16:22,541
Actually, you don't own us.
You own Mia & Mel, the company.
1419
01:16:22,674 --> 01:16:25,777
You know, you were right.
One Night Stand is old news now.
1420
01:16:25,911 --> 01:16:28,614
So we've started a new company,
with a new partner,
1421
01:16:28,747 --> 01:16:30,415
and we're calling it Proud.
1422
01:16:31,450 --> 01:16:33,352
You're starting
from scratch?
1423
01:16:33,485 --> 01:16:35,320
What are you gonna do,
go door-to-door
1424
01:16:35,454 --> 01:16:37,890
and try to sell it
with your Girl Scout cookies?
1425
01:16:38,023 --> 01:16:38,824
Ha!
1426
01:16:38,958 --> 01:16:40,325
Not exactly.
1427
01:16:41,894 --> 01:16:43,095
Shay?
1428
01:16:43,529 --> 01:16:44,796
Hello, Claire.
1429
01:16:47,065 --> 01:16:50,269
Oh, I see what's going on here.
1430
01:16:50,402 --> 01:16:52,905
You're trying to steal my girls
to get back at me.
1431
01:16:53,038 --> 01:16:56,241
No, I don't need to steal your
girls, because you pushed them out.
1432
01:16:56,375 --> 01:16:57,543
Just like you pushed me out.
1433
01:16:57,676 --> 01:16:59,278
Oh, my God,
I've had enough of that drama.
1434
01:16:59,411 --> 01:17:01,313
- Go talk to my lawyer.
- Shoo!
1435
01:17:01,446 --> 01:17:03,849
Oh, Claire.
You're still the same.
1436
01:17:03,983 --> 01:17:08,253
We were a great team. But you
always had to be right at all costs.
1437
01:17:08,387 --> 01:17:09,788
- Mm-hmm.
- And you haven't changed.
1438
01:17:09,922 --> 01:17:13,825
Even your face looks like
it hasn't smiled in 30 years.
1439
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:17,696
- Is that supposed to be an insult?
- Well, yeah, to your soul.
1440
01:17:17,829 --> 01:17:19,831
Physically
you look great.
1441
01:17:21,968 --> 01:17:24,603
Obviously,
I overestimated you two.
1442
01:17:24,736 --> 01:17:27,406
You are nothing
but a baby and a bully.
1443
01:17:27,539 --> 01:17:30,108
You know what?
No, okay?
1444
01:17:30,242 --> 01:17:31,945
We're smart,
and we're strong,
1445
01:17:32,077 --> 01:17:34,279
and we're best friends,
and we love and respect each other.
1446
01:17:34,413 --> 01:17:36,448
And you know what you are,
Claire Luna?
1447
01:17:36,582 --> 01:17:40,686
You're a lying, manipulative,
conniving, backstabbing,
1448
01:17:40,819 --> 01:17:43,789
bucktoothed,
Jessica Rabbit-looking motherfucker!
1449
01:17:43,922 --> 01:17:45,123
Ooh, that is good.
1450
01:17:45,257 --> 01:17:46,692
You surprised me
with the whole teeth thing,
1451
01:17:46,825 --> 01:17:48,594
'cause they are looking crazy.
But keep going.
1452
01:17:48,727 --> 01:17:51,296
And you know what else you have?
You have Blue Waffles.
1453
01:17:51,430 --> 01:17:54,968
She has Blue Waffles!
This bitch here!
1454
01:17:55,100 --> 01:17:56,468
- No, I don't!
- She does.
1455
01:17:56,602 --> 01:17:58,370
- No!
- And you are not fierst!
1456
01:17:58,503 --> 01:18:02,307
And now it's our time
to celebrate. Come on.
1457
01:18:02,441 --> 01:18:05,143
- Now, who feels like feeling good?
- Hey!
1458
01:18:05,277 --> 01:18:08,847
- What do you think you're doing?
- Feeling good...
1459
01:18:10,549 --> 01:18:11,985
One, two, three, four!
1460
01:18:15,887 --> 01:18:18,557
♪ Left a good job
In the city ♪
1461
01:18:18,690 --> 01:18:21,393
♪ Working for the man
Every night and day ♪
1462
01:18:21,526 --> 01:18:24,063
♪ And I never lost
One minute of sleeping ♪
1463
01:18:24,196 --> 01:18:27,132
♪ Worrying 'bout the way
Things might have been ♪
1464
01:18:27,265 --> 01:18:29,035
♪ Big wheels keep on turning ♪
1465
01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:32,170
♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪
1466
01:18:32,304 --> 01:18:35,407
♪ And we're rollin', rollin' ♪
1467
01:18:35,540 --> 01:18:37,944
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
1468
01:18:38,077 --> 01:18:40,113
They're amazing!
1469
01:18:40,245 --> 01:18:42,848
Great. You get to
watch me take their name
1470
01:18:42,982 --> 01:18:46,052
and make one billion dollars
with it, and you'll get nothing.
1471
01:18:46,184 --> 01:18:47,886
I don't need anything.
1472
01:18:48,021 --> 01:18:52,491
And technically,
they still own 49% of Mia & Mel.
1473
01:18:52,624 --> 01:18:57,729
So you'll have to pay them
$490 million.
1474
01:18:59,865 --> 01:19:01,333
Fuck!
1475
01:19:01,466 --> 01:19:04,269
♪ We're rollin', rollin' ♪
1476
01:19:04,403 --> 01:19:07,040
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
1477
01:19:13,912 --> 01:19:15,247
♪ Come on ♪
1478
01:19:16,149 --> 01:19:18,316
Hey, hey, hey.
1479
01:19:23,156 --> 01:19:24,623
♪ Rollin' ♪
1480
01:19:25,490 --> 01:19:26,491
♪ Rollin' ♪
1481
01:19:26,625 --> 01:19:29,095
♪ Rolling, Rollin' ♪
1482
01:19:29,227 --> 01:19:31,763
♪ Rollin' on the river... ♪
1483
01:19:32,898 --> 01:19:34,800
Ladies, I just got word
from distribution
1484
01:19:34,934 --> 01:19:38,537
that Proud will be sold
internationally by the end of the year!
1485
01:19:38,670 --> 01:19:40,940
That's amazing!
1486
01:19:41,074 --> 01:19:44,776
Okay, okay, now let's see
if you bitches been practicing.
1487
01:19:44,910 --> 01:19:48,081
All right, Barret...
how do you say "Proud" in French?
1488
01:19:48,213 --> 01:19:49,214
Fiére.
1489
01:19:49,347 --> 01:19:51,283
- Spanish?
- Orgullosa.
1490
01:19:51,416 --> 01:19:53,785
Uh...
That's Russian.
1491
01:19:53,919 --> 01:19:55,754
Spaghetti.
1492
01:19:55,887 --> 01:19:56,989
Italian.
1493
01:20:00,659 --> 01:20:02,861
Girl, we gonna have to
get you microchipped.
1494
01:20:02,995 --> 01:20:04,830
Toodles!
1495
01:20:04,964 --> 01:20:08,300
- Thank you, ladies. That's it for today.
- Great, thank you.
1496
01:20:12,504 --> 01:20:15,108
- Do not.
- What?
1497
01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:17,476
Come on.
Then just say it.
1498
01:20:17,609 --> 01:20:19,878
Are you gonna do this every week
for the next 20 years?
1499
01:20:20,012 --> 01:20:22,848
Twenty? We're stopping
this after only 20 years?
1500
01:20:23,882 --> 01:20:25,617
Say it. Just say it.
Just say it.
1501
01:20:25,751 --> 01:20:28,587
Okay, fine. I'll say it
if this is gonna make you stop.
1502
01:20:31,057 --> 01:20:32,324
- We did it.
- What?
1503
01:20:32,457 --> 01:20:33,859
- We did it.
- What? Louder.
1504
01:20:33,993 --> 01:20:36,261
- We did it! We did it!
- Yes? What did we do?
1505
01:20:36,394 --> 01:20:39,198
We blew up! We poppin'!
We blew up!
1506
01:20:39,331 --> 01:20:40,599
- Yeah, we did it?
- Yes!
1507
01:20:51,944 --> 01:20:53,879
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