1
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<font color="#ffff00">Provided by explosiveskull</font>
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

2
00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:03,051
Hey, Cora. What's up?

3
00:01:03,053 --> 00:01:04,252
What's up, Cora?

4
00:01:07,991 --> 00:01:10,258
You look fantastic.

5
00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,728
No. You look electric.
Electrifying.

6
00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:16,965
You look absolutely
electrifying.

7
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:56,270
Rats.

8
00:02:09,285 --> 00:02:12,054
What's up, Cora?

9
00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,933
Kat, please tell me
you're not incarcerated.

10
00:02:25,935 --> 00:02:29,304
Not yet, but it's
a distinct possibility.

11
00:02:29,306 --> 00:02:31,706
The lifeguard's still here.

12
00:02:31,708 --> 00:02:34,610
And there's a stupid
"no bands" sign.

13
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,079
- <i>Oh, no. Disaster.</i>
- Mission abort?

14
00:02:37,081 --> 00:02:39,181
This is a finely tuned
precision operation.

15
00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,414
No abortion.

16
00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:42,084
<i>Distract them with
your feminine charms, dude.</i>

17
00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,986
Oh, God.
Even his muscles have muscles.

18
00:02:44,988 --> 00:02:46,788
<i>All right, I've got to go
pick up Cora.</i>

19
00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:48,390
I believe in you, Kat.

20
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,367
I'll text you in, like,
an hour.

21
00:02:59,369 --> 00:03:01,937
Stop being so mean.

22
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:02,804
Cora!

23
00:03:02,806 --> 00:03:06,707
Wow! You look
absolutely electrifying.

24
00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:08,377
Oh, God.
Do you mean my hair?

25
00:03:08,379 --> 00:03:09,910
I usually blow it out,

26
00:03:09,912 --> 00:03:12,080
but I just could not
be bothered tonight.

27
00:03:12,082 --> 00:03:16,183
Oh, well, you look great.
Natural curls.

28
00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:20,989
I mean, you electrify the atoms
and neutrinos, like, between us.

29
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:23,991
Like, I can feel it
across time and space.

30
00:03:23,993 --> 00:03:27,361
You just give everything
a positive charge.

31
00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:29,296
- Are you rolling.
- What?

32
00:03:29,298 --> 00:03:30,799
- Are you on Molly?
- Oh.

33
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:32,134
I want some.

34
00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:34,102
Um, no, no.

35
00:03:34,104 --> 00:03:37,806
I'm on a natural high
just from being with you.

36
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:41,009
Um...

37
00:03:48,017 --> 00:03:49,986
Thanks.

38
00:03:56,025 --> 00:03:58,092
Help, help!

39
00:03:58,094 --> 00:04:02,164
Help! Help!

40
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,265
Help! Help!

41
00:04:12,475 --> 00:04:14,475
Okay, okay, cough it out.
There you go.

42
00:04:14,477 --> 00:04:16,311
Cough it out. Okay.

43
00:04:16,313 --> 00:04:18,947
- Oh, my God.
- There you go.

44
00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:28,757
Take a deep, breathe.

45
00:04:28,759 --> 00:04:32,394
How many fingers
am I holding up?

46
00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:34,699
Eight.

47
00:04:38,035 --> 00:04:41,037
All right, let's see
if you can try and stand up.

48
00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,872
Want me to call your parents
or something?

49
00:04:43,874 --> 00:04:46,208
No, no, I'm good, thank you.

50
00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:48,112
Thanks for the rescue.

51
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,146
Are there dolphins in Malibu?

52
00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:53,148
Yes.

53
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,750
- Dolphins are my spirit animal.
- Oh, really,

54
00:04:55,752 --> 00:04:57,151
- Mm-hmm.
- Mine's an aardvark.

55
00:04:57,153 --> 00:04:59,053
Do they eat ants?

56
00:04:59,055 --> 00:05:00,855
And stop.

57
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:04,091
All right.
I'm going to blindfold.

58
00:05:04,093 --> 00:05:06,995
Dude, uh, I mean,
I'm usually down, but, um...

59
00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:09,964
Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no,
this isn't a sexy thing.

60
00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:11,833
It's a surprise, I promise.
Okay?

61
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:14,069
I just need to strap this
on you.

62
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:17,338
And yelp if it gets too tight.

63
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,507
- Aah!
- Oh.

64
00:05:18,509 --> 00:05:21,278
- I'm kidding.
- Oh. Okay.

65
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,781
We're almost there, okay?

66
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,516
Really close.

67
00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:29,417
I'm so excited.

68
00:05:29,419 --> 00:05:30,918
Oh, me too.

69
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,321
All right, so, okay,
step right here.

70
00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:35,223
You can take
your blindfold off now.

71
00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:45,834
Oh, my God!

72
00:05:45,836 --> 00:05:48,235
Oh, Cy!

73
00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:49,303
Oh.

74
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:54,141
Oh, wow! this is a really
great prom-posal, dude.

75
00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:58,547
Oh, wow, I'm... I'm flattered.
I really am.

76
00:05:58,549 --> 00:06:00,415
But?

77
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,927
Oh, okay.

78
00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:16,096
When I imagine my perfect,
magical prom night

79
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:17,932
a night that
I'm going to remember

80
00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:21,202
for the rest of my life,
I just...

81
00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:24,305
I just can't imagine
you going down on me.

82
00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:27,209
It's a special night.

83
00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:31,348
And I've just always imagined
it ending with lady head.

84
00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:34,583
I mean, we wouldn't have to...

85
00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:36,151
Oh, no, it'd have to.

86
00:06:36,153 --> 00:06:38,452
it's a very important part
of my prom fantasy.

87
00:06:38,454 --> 00:06:40,021
I'm sorry.

88
00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:42,893
You'll find a girl
that you're right for.

89
00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:47,194
I'll call an Uber.

90
00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,175
Cy.

91
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,910
What are you doing?
You have to get up.

92
00:07:01,912 --> 00:07:04,144
I'm sick,
or whatever excuse

93
00:07:04,146 --> 00:07:06,047
seems the most believable.

94
00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:08,617
You think it's terminal?

95
00:07:08,619 --> 00:07:11,452
Hey. You masturbating?

96
00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:13,487
Oh, God, no.

97
00:07:13,489 --> 00:07:15,055
Leave him alone.

98
00:07:15,057 --> 00:07:16,958
I don't think his date
went very well.

99
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,961
Oh, women, huh? Yeah.
Gotta say.

100
00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:22,497
You know what I don't
understand?

101
00:07:22,499 --> 00:07:25,901
Is how could someone not fall,
like, totally head over heels,

102
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,435
like, madly in love
with my extraordinary,

103
00:07:28,437 --> 00:07:30,906
handsome, amazing, smart son?

104
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,339
She said she couldn't
go with me

105
00:07:32,341 --> 00:07:35,910
because she couldn't imagine me
going down on her.

106
00:07:35,912 --> 00:07:38,312
Ah.
Well, is, uh...

107
00:07:38,314 --> 00:07:41,016
is oral sex
this year's prom theme?

108
00:07:44,453 --> 00:07:46,254
Oh, come on, come on!

109
00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:48,490
You have to admit
it's a very important aspect

110
00:07:48,492 --> 00:07:49,658
- of lovemaking.
- Mom!

111
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,526
I mean, it's true.
It really is.

112
00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:53,627
What? What, are you gonna
be all Puritan on me?

113
00:07:53,629 --> 00:07:55,129
I mean, my gosh, grow a pair

114
00:07:55,131 --> 00:07:56,997
so we can actually
converse like adults.

115
00:07:56,999 --> 00:07:58,333
Right?

116
00:07:58,335 --> 00:08:00,701
And enjoy talking about
the very important act

117
00:08:00,703 --> 00:08:02,536
of just human sexuality.

118
00:08:02,538 --> 00:08:04,139
What? I mean, honestly,
sweetie,

119
00:08:04,141 --> 00:08:07,042
if I could not appreciate
that actual experience with you,

120
00:08:07,044 --> 00:08:09,410
I don't know what I would do.

121
00:08:09,412 --> 00:08:12,413
- Oh, God. Make its stop.
- Cy, look at me.

122
00:08:12,415 --> 00:08:15,417
You are the most
interesting, kind,

123
00:08:15,419 --> 00:08:17,351
caring kid
I've ever given birth to.

124
00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:19,420
And if she can't see that,
well, then she's a total idiot.

125
00:08:19,422 --> 00:08:21,523
Well, I'm the <i>only</i> kid
you've ever given birth to.

126
00:08:21,525 --> 00:08:24,192
All right. Don't mince words
with me, young man.

127
00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:25,526
- Hey!
- Oh, yeah.

128
00:08:25,528 --> 00:08:28,295
- Speaking of smarty pants...
- Good morning!

129
00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:30,165
- Open it already!
- Yeah, I will, I will.

130
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,432
- Come on.
- All right.

131
00:08:31,434 --> 00:08:33,434
- Read it, read it.
- All right, all right.

132
00:08:33,436 --> 00:08:35,537
Well, I mean, it just says
that I've gotten all "A" s.

133
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,442
Oh, no, no! Oh, God.

134
00:08:40,444 --> 00:08:42,409
Okay, okay.

135
00:08:42,411 --> 00:08:44,312
- We're so proud of you.
- Thanks.

136
00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:45,178
Mwah!

137
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,182
So, you know how, like,
you said that

138
00:08:48,184 --> 00:08:51,019
if I got straight "A" s, you'd
get me anything I wanted, right?

139
00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:52,687
Yeah. Not, like, a pony,
but yeah.

140
00:08:52,689 --> 00:08:54,188
It's not a pony.

141
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:55,724
Well, 'cause, like,
I have been, like,

142
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:57,392
putting thought into this.

143
00:08:57,394 --> 00:09:00,028
Like, I'm spending hours and
hours contemplating what I want.

144
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:02,529
And I... well...

145
00:09:02,531 --> 00:09:04,334
this is what I want.

146
00:09:07,069 --> 00:09:09,070
I'd have to do a few procedures
first and then...

147
00:09:09,072 --> 00:09:12,240
- What is it, cosmetic surgery?
- Why would you want to do this?

148
00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,542
Why do you think?
It's 'cause I'm hideous.

149
00:09:14,544 --> 00:09:17,479
- What are you talking about?
- I'm disgusting.

150
00:09:17,481 --> 00:09:20,414
Honey, you are just
extraordinary and amazing.

151
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,283
What are... what...
I don't understand.

152
00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:23,618
- You're so unique. I don't...
- This doesn't make any sense.

153
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,787
Look at me. My mouth is
too small for my face,

154
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,187
and nostrils are asymmetrical.

155
00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:30,325
I've got one eye that's, like,
<i>way</i> bigger than the other.

156
00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:33,094
- My face is ugly.
- This is not happening. No.

157
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:34,796
No, absolutely not.

158
00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:37,432
- Wait.
- No. No!

159
00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:40,134
All right, it's Kat.
I've got to get dressed.

160
00:09:40,136 --> 00:09:42,736
Can you please...?

161
00:09:42,738 --> 00:09:44,339
He gets this from you,
you know.

162
00:09:44,341 --> 00:09:46,374
No, I think he gets it from
the anonymous donor...

163
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,043
It's always
the anonymous donor.

164
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,644
- Please, please.
- It's not your perfectionism.

165
00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,578
Please tell Kat I said hello.
This is crazy.

166
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,248
All right, I will.

167
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,450
And don't ever show me that
or go to that place again.

168
00:09:55,452 --> 00:09:58,052
- Hurry up.
- Can you please close the door?

169
00:09:58,054 --> 00:10:00,587
No.

170
00:10:00,589 --> 00:10:02,389
You're gonna be fine!

171
00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:06,126
You kinda just turned her into
this, like, sexy,

172
00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:07,562
unattainable archetype.

173
00:10:07,564 --> 00:10:09,697
I loved her.

174
00:10:09,699 --> 00:10:12,667
No. No, you didn't.

175
00:10:12,669 --> 00:10:14,201
She's dead to me now.

176
00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:16,607
But you didn't even know her.

177
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,676
I feel like my organs are being
ripped through my orifices.

178
00:10:21,678 --> 00:10:24,245
No, the small ones,

179
00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,413
- like my urethra.
- Oh, gross!

180
00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:29,317
Yeah, no, that's how I feel
right now.

181
00:10:29,319 --> 00:10:31,852
Okay, well, I need your lungs
to help me practice

182
00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:35,423
for my audition, so let's go.

183
00:10:36,525 --> 00:10:39,293
It doesn't matter how lazy,

184
00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:41,495
stupid, or uncultured you are.

185
00:10:41,497 --> 00:10:43,498
It's like, if you have
a pretty face,

186
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,501
people love you.

187
00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:50,406
For example... Chris Newton.

188
00:10:52,309 --> 00:10:54,741
Hiya!

189
00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:56,711
- Wat-sa!
- Good, good.

190
00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:59,114
Just make sure you get my
tricep on this one.

191
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,482
Yeah, I see it.
It's divine.

192
00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:16,563
Hiya!

193
00:11:21,804 --> 00:11:24,672
He's so dreamy.

194
00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:26,543
I'd do him.

195
00:11:28,678 --> 00:11:31,211
Oh, my God!
That was totally Tourettic.

196
00:11:31,213 --> 00:11:32,813
- You meant that.
- No, no, no.

197
00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:35,283
Only my deepest reptilian brain.

198
00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:38,387
Your reptilian brain
is disgusting.

199
00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:42,222
Wait. Oh, my God.
You're jelly!

200
00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:44,192
What? No, I'm not. That's
preposterous.

201
00:11:44,194 --> 00:11:45,759
- Yeah, you are.
- Ah!

202
00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:48,328
You're the boner dude
that Cora Davidson said

203
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:49,596
that she would puke
if he ate her peach.

204
00:11:49,598 --> 00:11:52,634
What? Peach?
Wait. She didn't say that.

205
00:11:52,636 --> 00:11:54,635
Rad boner, though, dude.

206
00:11:54,637 --> 00:11:57,705
Ow.

207
00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:02,342
- Oh, Cy.
- What?

208
00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:05,746
<i>When I imagine my perfect
magical prom night,</i>

209
00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:07,782
<i>a night that
I'm going to remember</i>

210
00:12:07,784 --> 00:12:09,384
<i>for the rest of my life,</i>

211
00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:11,852
<i>I just can't imagine
you going down on me.</i>

212
00:12:11,854 --> 00:12:15,389
- <i>I mean, we wouldn't have to...</i>
- <i>Oh, no, it'd have to.</i>

213
00:12:15,391 --> 00:12:18,393
What asshole troll posted this?

214
00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:20,564
<i>You'll find a girl that...</i>

215
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:26,734
Well, it's kind of
an in-involuntary reflex, right?

216
00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:29,303
I mean, you can't control
what pops up.

217
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:33,640
Well, I-I don't think you have
anything to be ashamed of.

218
00:12:33,642 --> 00:12:37,245
I mean, it's just, um, I don't
have that much experience

219
00:12:37,247 --> 00:12:38,679
with, like...

220
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,384
...or any experience at all,
but I don't...

221
00:12:43,386 --> 00:12:45,452
you know, I-I wouldn't
feel bad about it.

222
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,955
This is a glitch in the matrix.

223
00:12:46,957 --> 00:12:49,490
- Boner boy!
- Oh, my God. I'm in hell.

224
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:52,527
I feel like I'm gonna
puke up my entire soul.

225
00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:55,230
Your <i>entire</i> soul?

226
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,496
Wah-hiya!

227
00:12:56,498 --> 00:12:57,966
Dude, it's the fuckin'
boner dude.

228
00:12:57,968 --> 00:13:01,469
Dude, kick his ass.
Right now. Go! Go!

229
00:13:01,471 --> 00:13:04,605
- Hiya!
- Oh! Oh, you got... oh!

230
00:13:04,607 --> 00:13:07,609
Oh, shit. What the hell?
You asshole.

231
00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:09,610
Motherfucker! Oh!

232
00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:11,745
Hey, get off me!
What are you doing?

233
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,248
Oh!

234
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,515
- You're the king!
- We're dancing!

235
00:13:15,517 --> 00:13:17,784
Yeah!
Post it, bro!

236
00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:21,288
So, can you stop acting
like an effing idiot, please?

237
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,325
Thank you. Just, you know,
up your medication

238
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:26,561
do Pilates, or something.
I don't know.

239
00:13:26,563 --> 00:13:28,830
Have a lovely time in detention.

240
00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:30,597
And you, Mr. Newton,

241
00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:33,634
what's with your stupid
karate-chopping videos?

242
00:13:33,636 --> 00:13:35,903
Hiya!

243
00:13:35,905 --> 00:13:38,605
Bro, if I would have
gotten suspended,

244
00:13:38,607 --> 00:13:40,008
my mom would have lost her shit.

245
00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:42,476
Yeah, sorry,
I kinda lost my shit.

246
00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:43,977
Dude, you got anger issues,
man.

247
00:13:43,979 --> 00:13:46,380
- You need to check that shit out.
- Yeah. How about you try getting

248
00:13:46,382 --> 00:13:48,316
a video of you passed around
around you getting

249
00:13:48,318 --> 00:13:50,317
royally dissed
while having an erection?

250
00:13:50,319 --> 00:13:52,787
That's no big deal, bro.
Rock the sconge.

251
00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:55,289
- Sconge?
- Yeah.

252
00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:57,725
- Boner town, bro.
- Geez, man.

253
00:14:00,497 --> 00:14:02,629
Well, gotta fly, Cy.

254
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:05,633
Oh, shit! Fly, Cy.

255
00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:07,902
He sees the girls,
the pee-pee gets high.

256
00:14:27,957 --> 00:14:30,390
- I saw your video.
- Okay, it's not <i>mine.</i>

257
00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:32,826
And, also, why do people think
it's, like,

258
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,828
okay to come up to me
and tell me that they've seen

259
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,030
something super private
and totally mortifying?

260
00:14:37,032 --> 00:14:41,469
And, also, it's just
a stupid erection, okay?

261
00:14:41,471 --> 00:14:43,937
Like, so, come on.
Who doesn't get one?

262
00:14:43,939 --> 00:14:46,443
Shh!

263
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:51,812
I-I don't... get them.

264
00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:54,014
I mean, I guess there's, like,
such thing as a lady boner,

265
00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,584
but...

266
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,022
I'm sorry.
It's been a long day.

267
00:15:01,024 --> 00:15:02,823
I'm Cy.

268
00:15:02,825 --> 00:15:04,991
I'm Roxy, and I'm sorry,

269
00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:07,861
I probably came off
like such a dick just now.

270
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,897
You're new, right?

271
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,966
It's my first day.

272
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,701
Wow. Super auspicious start.

273
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:18,105
Nice job lending in detention
on day one.

274
00:15:18,107 --> 00:15:19,974
Seriously, you're my hero.

275
00:15:19,976 --> 00:15:23,644
Oh, well, I saw you
jump on that gorilla.

276
00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,113
Why did they threw you in here?

277
00:15:25,115 --> 00:15:29,082
I was ranting about "1984"
being an inherently sexist text.

278
00:15:29,084 --> 00:15:32,019
I guess that
that was, uh, disruptive.

279
00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:34,121
So they tossed me in this gulag.

280
00:15:34,123 --> 00:15:36,456
"1984" is sexist?

281
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:38,594
Yeah. Look.

282
00:15:39,828 --> 00:15:41,662
You ready?

283
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:43,730
"The improvement in
her appearance was startling.

284
00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:45,799
With just a few dabs of color
in the right places,

285
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:48,403
she'd become not only
very much prettier,

286
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,105
but above all,
far more feminine."

287
00:15:51,107 --> 00:15:52,740
He's saying that
we need capitalism

288
00:15:52,742 --> 00:15:55,109
because it allows,
even encourages, women

289
00:15:55,111 --> 00:15:58,078
to paint their faces
to be more desirable to men.

290
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,417
In fact, like, he's saying that
that's what makes them women.

291
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,051
It's a great book
in many ways.

292
00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:08,623
But let's just be conscious
of inherent gender bias.

293
00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,892
- Wow.
- <i>When I imagine...</i>

294
00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:16,197
Cy, this really sucks.

295
00:16:16,199 --> 00:16:17,631
Do you realize
this is gonna be on here

296
00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,769
until the Internet breaks?

297
00:16:22,171 --> 00:16:26,974
It's up to, um, 232,000.

298
00:16:26,976 --> 00:16:29,943
<i>You'll find a girl
that you're right for.</i>

299
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:41,589
What are you still doing here?

300
00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:43,124
Oh, well, it's always
so depressing

301
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,524
when you get released from jail

302
00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:45,927
and, like, no one's there
to meet you.

303
00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:49,230
- Mm.
- I hate that.

304
00:16:49,232 --> 00:16:51,731
Hi. I, uh...

305
00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:55,536
you guys are so, like...
like the...

306
00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:57,672
I am Roxy.
Hi. Nice to meet you.

307
00:16:57,674 --> 00:16:59,807
Oh, hi. Yes, I am Kat.

308
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,576
- I like what you're wearing.
- I like your skirt.

309
00:17:01,578 --> 00:17:02,876
- Oh, thank you. I...
- Jinx.

310
00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:06,113
- I made it myself.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

311
00:17:06,115 --> 00:17:08,082
- I made this, too.
- Ah!

312
00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:09,784
Yeah.

313
00:17:09,786 --> 00:17:12,823
All my clothes are made
by Bangladeshi children.

314
00:17:15,157 --> 00:17:16,857
- Okay.
- That was... all right.

315
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:18,226
- Um...
- I'll see you guys later.

316
00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:20,494
- It was nice to meet you.
- Yeah. Here.

317
00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:23,263
- My lady.
- Thank you.

318
00:17:23,265 --> 00:17:25,199
Those were for me, but okay.

319
00:17:29,771 --> 00:17:31,672
You could have offered her
a ride.

320
00:17:31,674 --> 00:17:33,641
I'm already enough of a pariah.

321
00:17:33,643 --> 00:17:35,742
I'm not gonna embarrass myself
further.

322
00:17:54,998 --> 00:17:57,934
Ooh! Frosty!

323
00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:03,069
Icy!

324
00:18:24,193 --> 00:18:25,826
Hello.

325
00:18:25,828 --> 00:18:28,663
My magical skateboard
never lets me down.

326
00:18:28,665 --> 00:18:31,031
- Oh.
- Just led me straight to you.

327
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:32,700
I'm soy Chris, señorita.

328
00:18:32,702 --> 00:18:34,769
Just learned that
in that Spanish class.

329
00:18:34,771 --> 00:18:36,304
Cool.

330
00:18:36,306 --> 00:18:39,740
Um... hiya!

331
00:18:39,742 --> 00:18:41,041
- Right?
- Hmm?

332
00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:42,910
I'm the guy!
I'm the guy from the videos.

333
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,912
- I do the "hiya" videos.
- The... I don't...

334
00:18:44,914 --> 00:18:46,314
You have to have seen
the videos.

335
00:18:46,316 --> 00:18:48,782
- No, I...
- You've never seen the videos?

336
00:18:48,784 --> 00:18:50,351
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

337
00:18:50,353 --> 00:18:52,353
Oh, shit! Oh!

338
00:18:52,355 --> 00:18:55,122
- You okay?
- Yeah, I just hit my face.

339
00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:57,191
I think you might need
to nurse me back to health.

340
00:18:57,193 --> 00:18:58,925
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

341
00:18:58,927 --> 00:19:03,631
Well, um, maybe... maybe your
your comrades could babysit you.

342
00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:07,067
Listen, the only baby here
is you, babe,

343
00:19:07,069 --> 00:19:10,637
as in a, "Hey, baby,
you're a babe" way.

344
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:13,974
- Wow.
- You are a babe.

345
00:19:13,976 --> 00:19:16,076
- Wow. That was, um...
- Smooth?

346
00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:18,746
That was really smooth,
Soy Chris, yeah.

347
00:19:18,748 --> 00:19:20,247
What bad '90s song
was that from?

348
00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,117
It's not. It's all me.

349
00:19:24,953 --> 00:19:28,122
- What else you got?
- Uh...

350
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:29,957
I'm a... um...

351
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,858
Yeah, you should expand
your repertoire, dude.

352
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:33,827
Wh... don't bounce yet,
don't bounce yet.

353
00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:36,196
Okay, give me one reason.

354
00:19:36,198 --> 00:19:38,265
I want to do a 720 gazelle flip
for you. Watch.

355
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,101
Look, Chris, I'm not trying to
be an ass...

356
00:19:40,103 --> 00:19:42,872
Just wait. Just wait.
Watch, watch, watch.

357
00:20:03,826 --> 00:20:05,859
- Wow!
- Whoo!

358
00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:08,028
- Pretty dope, huh?
- That was, um...

359
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,330
- Pretty cool, huh?
- That was really impressive.

360
00:20:10,332 --> 00:20:12,133
You sure you haven't seen
<i>any</i> of my videos?

361
00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:13,867
- I haven't.
- Some of them average

362
00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:16,804
like 250,000 views.
That's like a million people.

363
00:20:16,806 --> 00:20:19,272
That <i>is</i> like a million people.
That's rad, yeah.

364
00:20:19,274 --> 00:20:22,009
- You should probably, um...
- You have to have heard of me!

365
00:20:22,011 --> 00:20:23,376
...re-crunch your numbers,
though, man.

366
00:20:23,378 --> 00:20:25,813
Let me take you out.
We could...

367
00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:27,882
I don't know, bowl or some shit.

368
00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:30,317
- "Bowl or some shit"?
- Huh? You bowl?

369
00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:34,355
Um, no.
Look, you seem like a, uh,

370
00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:39,460
a really swell guy,
but I'm just not interested.

371
00:20:39,462 --> 00:20:41,996
- In-Interested in me?
- Yes.

372
00:20:41,998 --> 00:20:43,798
Well, what are you
interested in?

373
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,902
Um, art, reading,
women's rights.

374
00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:49,303
I'm actually trying to
get into a good college

375
00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:52,772
so I can make this, like,
a less-shitty planet.

376
00:20:52,774 --> 00:20:54,909
Well, I mean,
I like planets, too.

377
00:20:54,911 --> 00:20:56,777
Like, I don't want
a shitty planet.

378
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:59,281
Right. I'm...

379
00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:09,125
I spent a summer building houses
in Vietnam for poor people!

380
00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,193
Shit.

381
00:21:13,195 --> 00:21:18,201
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.

382
00:21:21,803 --> 00:21:23,436
She said no, bro.

383
00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:26,339
Damn.

384
00:21:26,341 --> 00:21:27,775
You want to... you want a hug?

385
00:21:27,777 --> 00:21:29,242
No, I don't want a hug!

386
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:31,479
We're at a skate park, man.

387
00:21:31,481 --> 00:21:34,017
What are you thinking?

388
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:40,488
All right, fine, bro.

389
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:42,222
Oh, easy.

390
00:24:04,666 --> 00:24:06,366
- Hiya!
- Aaaah!

391
00:24:06,368 --> 00:24:09,236
Whoa, bro,

392
00:24:09,238 --> 00:24:11,137
I totally shut down
your sexy me time.

393
00:24:11,139 --> 00:24:12,472
- No, you didn't, no, you didn't.
- I did.

394
00:24:12,474 --> 00:24:14,040
Yeah, you got the music
going...

395
00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:15,576
- No, no, no, no.
- ...you go the shirt off.

396
00:24:15,578 --> 00:24:17,944
- I see...
- Hey, boys.

397
00:24:17,946 --> 00:24:19,680
Do you two want some couscous?

398
00:24:19,682 --> 00:24:21,515
No, that's gross, Mom.

399
00:24:21,517 --> 00:24:24,518
- Okay, thank you. You can go.
- All right, privacy time.

400
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,153
- Have fun, friends.
- Have fun. Have a great night.

401
00:24:27,155 --> 00:24:28,489
Okay.

402
00:24:28,491 --> 00:24:31,157
Dude, you have two moms?
Those are your moms?

403
00:24:31,159 --> 00:24:33,928
- Yep.
- No way!

404
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,229
I mean, that's...
that's totally fine.

405
00:24:35,231 --> 00:24:36,497
- Like, it's cool.
- Oh, yeah.

406
00:24:36,499 --> 00:24:37,998
I'll tell them that
you're cool with it.

407
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,333
Cool, cool, cool.

408
00:24:39,335 --> 00:24:42,102
Hey, if you don't mind me
asking, who's the man?

409
00:24:42,104 --> 00:24:45,538
There is no man, dumbass.
That's the point.

410
00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:49,143
Right, right.
Um...

411
00:24:49,145 --> 00:24:52,278
So, you're, like, into, like,
art and culture and stuff?

412
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,346
And stuff.

413
00:24:53,348 --> 00:24:56,150
Think we could go for a walk
or something, man?

414
00:24:56,152 --> 00:24:57,550
I'm getting all twitchy.

415
00:24:59,155 --> 00:25:01,989
Bro, I'm <i>super</i> into her.

416
00:25:01,991 --> 00:25:04,258
She's into art and books
and shit.

417
00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:06,292
- She should date me, then.
- Bingo, dude.

418
00:25:06,294 --> 00:25:08,962
I just have to look like
I'm into art and culture.

419
00:25:08,964 --> 00:25:12,999
So, what if I get a smart, artsy
dude to run my social media

420
00:25:13,001 --> 00:25:14,401
so it looks like I'm down with
that shit?

421
00:25:14,403 --> 00:25:18,038
- You want me to be you online?
- Yes, bro!

422
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,441
You blow her away
with how dope "my" brain is,

423
00:25:20,443 --> 00:25:23,544
I swoop in IRL
and seal the deal!

424
00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:26,279
All right? I mean, we both do
what we're gifted at, all right?

425
00:25:26,281 --> 00:25:29,351
You got the brains,
I got the endless charm.

426
00:25:33,055 --> 00:25:35,990
Dude, you've seen
too many movies.

427
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,592
IRL, this kind of thing
never works out.

428
00:25:42,030 --> 00:25:44,565
- What's this?
- My offer.

429
00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:47,067
Why are there so many zeros?

430
00:25:47,069 --> 00:25:49,068
What can I say, bro?

431
00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:51,672
You know what's out there.
Sheer lameness.

432
00:25:51,674 --> 00:25:54,208
Right? They want more.

433
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,576
They're diggin' my hiya.

434
00:25:56,578 --> 00:25:59,480
Wat-sa! Ooh-hoo-hoo!

435
00:25:59,482 --> 00:26:01,080
You weren't ready for that,
were you?

436
00:26:01,082 --> 00:26:03,118
Jesus. Fuck.

437
00:26:04,552 --> 00:26:05,786
Whatever, bro.

438
00:26:05,788 --> 00:26:08,622
Let me know
if you change your mind.

439
00:26:13,628 --> 00:26:16,329
Dude.

440
00:26:16,331 --> 00:26:18,233
Shit!

441
00:26:32,615 --> 00:26:34,681
Oh.

442
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,686
Say hello to your new
digital self.

443
00:26:40,688 --> 00:26:43,624
So, we're gonna do this social
platform by social platform.

444
00:26:43,626 --> 00:26:47,326
By the time we're done,
Roxy is gonna be all over you.

445
00:26:47,328 --> 00:26:49,395
- Hoo-Hoo! Make my nerdy, Daddy.
- All right.

446
00:26:49,397 --> 00:26:52,132
So, first, we're gonna
have you follow people

447
00:26:52,134 --> 00:26:53,599
who make you look smart.

448
00:26:53,601 --> 00:26:55,169
Who do you follow right now?

449
00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,438
Rob Gronkowski, Kanye,

450
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,240
Bruce Lee,
for obvious reasons.

451
00:27:00,242 --> 00:27:02,409
Wat-sa!

452
00:27:02,411 --> 00:27:05,345
Um, my bros
and my little sister.

453
00:27:05,347 --> 00:27:07,448
She's super woke
for being 6, bro.

454
00:27:07,450 --> 00:27:10,550
Okay, from now on,
we'll have you follow

455
00:27:10,552 --> 00:27:13,820
scientists
like Neil deGrasse Tyson,

456
00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:16,423
Stephen Hawking, Jane Goodall,

457
00:27:16,425 --> 00:27:20,426
philosophers and activists
like Cornel West, Slavoj Zizek,

458
00:27:20,428 --> 00:27:24,163
and, um, Lena Dunham
for some third-wave feminism.

459
00:27:24,165 --> 00:27:25,566
- Ugh!
- I'm sorry.

460
00:27:25,568 --> 00:27:27,835
You'll also be following
celebrated writers

461
00:27:27,837 --> 00:27:30,336
like Joan Didion, Roxane Gay.

462
00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:32,506
You said "Gay," bro.

463
00:27:32,508 --> 00:27:34,610
Ooh!

464
00:27:36,479 --> 00:27:38,612
Oh.

465
00:27:38,614 --> 00:27:41,882
"The noblest pleasure
is the joy of understanding."

466
00:27:41,884 --> 00:27:44,117
Leonardo da Vinci.

467
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:45,384
Damn, bro.

468
00:27:45,386 --> 00:27:48,689
And that's why I won the Oscar.

469
00:27:48,691 --> 00:27:51,422
All right, let's post a pic
of you at an exhibit

470
00:27:51,424 --> 00:27:52,558
- at an art museum, all right?
- Let's do it, bro.

471
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,328
You're high-tech, brah.

472
00:27:55,330 --> 00:27:58,464
Hey, that Vietnam thing I did...
I actually did that, so...

473
00:27:58,466 --> 00:28:01,103
- Smile.
- Okay.

474
00:28:02,338 --> 00:28:04,438
How's the bicep, bro?

475
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,507
Shadows?

476
00:28:06,509 --> 00:28:08,342
- Huh?
- Mm-hmm.

477
00:28:08,344 --> 00:28:12,346
All right, now let's
put you in the Louvre.

478
00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:13,680
- Okay.
- Looking at art.

479
00:28:13,682 --> 00:28:15,548
Looking at the "Mona Lisa."

480
00:28:15,550 --> 00:28:17,217
Ah! Check it out!

481
00:28:17,219 --> 00:28:19,286
You're in the Uffizi Gallerie
now.

482
00:28:19,288 --> 00:28:21,454
Yep, that's a real Uffizi face.

483
00:28:21,456 --> 00:28:24,525
All right, let me see, dude.

484
00:28:24,527 --> 00:28:27,161
No, no, no, no.
Dude, we gotta do these again.

485
00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,829
Look at my chin.
Higher angles.

486
00:28:29,831 --> 00:28:31,365
Okay, all right.
Okay. All right.

487
00:28:31,367 --> 00:28:32,900
- All right. All right.
- All right, all right.

488
00:28:32,902 --> 00:28:35,501
All right.

489
00:28:37,740 --> 00:28:40,440
- Do you need to get that?
- Yeah, dude, hold on. Sorry.

490
00:28:40,442 --> 00:28:42,942
Ugh.

491
00:28:42,944 --> 00:28:44,944
- Yo!
- Bro.

492
00:28:44,946 --> 00:28:47,247
What about "TTYL"
do you not get?

493
00:28:47,249 --> 00:28:48,515
I just though
we could go to the beach,

494
00:28:48,517 --> 00:28:50,784
get some savage shots
of us surfing!

495
00:28:50,786 --> 00:28:52,251
Smack the lip. Wa-pah!

496
00:28:52,253 --> 00:28:54,288
Dude, I can't be myself
anymore, all right?

497
00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:56,522
I told you...
I'm gotta be a kook now.

498
00:28:56,524 --> 00:28:57,891
Yeah, but I just thought
that we...

499
00:28:57,893 --> 00:28:59,358
Don't be thirsty!

500
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,194
All right? It looks bad.

501
00:29:01,196 --> 00:29:07,800
And I ran out of my deodorant,
so can you get me my regular?

502
00:29:07,802 --> 00:29:10,403
Thanks, bro.

503
00:29:10,405 --> 00:29:13,240
Sorry, bro.
Are we... are we good here?

504
00:29:13,242 --> 00:29:15,776
Yeah, so any time
you're at a poetry reading

505
00:29:15,778 --> 00:29:18,811
or an art installation,
just take a snap,

506
00:29:18,813 --> 00:29:20,413
and then talk about, like...

507
00:29:20,415 --> 00:29:21,949
Bro, that sounds
like a lot of work.

508
00:29:21,951 --> 00:29:24,851
Well, I mean, you could just
give me your password,

509
00:29:24,853 --> 00:29:26,586
and I can just go myself.

510
00:29:26,588 --> 00:29:28,888
So you can hack me
and steal my identity?

511
00:29:28,890 --> 00:29:30,289
Like what you're
paying me to do?

512
00:29:30,291 --> 00:29:32,759
- No, bro, not happening.
- All right, fine.

513
00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:35,695
Run Snapchat yourself.
Let's talk about Facebook.

514
00:29:35,697 --> 00:29:37,431
Ugh!

515
00:29:46,575 --> 00:29:49,742
All right, no, I can't...
I can't go on.

516
00:29:49,744 --> 00:29:54,280
Chris <i>Newton</i> asked <i>you</i>
to pretend to be him online,

517
00:29:54,282 --> 00:29:56,650
and you're just not concerned?

518
00:29:56,652 --> 00:29:58,551
Well, what should I be
concerned about?

519
00:29:58,553 --> 00:30:00,721
How about he's secretly
involved in a bet

520
00:30:00,723 --> 00:30:02,355
to see if he can make
the nerdy kid popular?

521
00:30:02,357 --> 00:30:04,324
Like that would be
the end of the world?

522
00:30:04,326 --> 00:30:06,460
I mean, it's gonna end
with you onstage,

523
00:30:06,462 --> 00:30:08,028
covered in pig's blood,

524
00:30:08,030 --> 00:30:10,596
just without
the telekinetic powers.

525
00:30:10,598 --> 00:30:13,634
Why am I the female character
in this scenario?

526
00:30:13,636 --> 00:30:15,402
- I don't know.
- Whatever.

527
00:30:15,404 --> 00:30:17,738
Practice, or else you're not
gonna get in,

528
00:30:17,740 --> 00:30:20,007
and instead of Carnegie Hall,
you'll be an old lady

529
00:30:20,009 --> 00:30:21,942
playing to a house full of cats.

530
00:30:21,944 --> 00:30:24,845
Thanks. That helps.

531
00:30:24,847 --> 00:30:26,980
I'm nervous!

532
00:30:26,982 --> 00:30:29,615
Look, you'll be fine.
Don't worry.

533
00:30:29,617 --> 00:30:31,451
I'll be there.

534
00:30:31,453 --> 00:30:33,487
- Okay.
- Also, like...

535
00:30:33,489 --> 00:30:35,454
do you really think that
it's impossible

536
00:30:35,456 --> 00:30:36,757
that I may have some traits

537
00:30:36,759 --> 00:30:38,991
that people might be
envious of?

538
00:30:38,993 --> 00:30:43,297
Yeah, some people. Sure.

539
00:30:43,299 --> 00:30:45,399
But Chris Newton?

540
00:30:45,401 --> 00:30:47,733
Why would Chris Newton want to
seem more like you?

541
00:30:47,735 --> 00:30:51,337
Because it will help him
get to Roxy faster,

542
00:30:51,339 --> 00:30:53,606
'cause apparently
I'm just her type,

543
00:30:53,608 --> 00:30:56,777
except from my head,
face, and body.

544
00:30:56,779 --> 00:31:00,314
Oh, okay, so you're catfishing
the poor girl.

545
00:31:00,316 --> 00:31:01,815
Uh, no, I wouldn't call it
that.

546
00:31:01,817 --> 00:31:03,583
Oh, really?
I would call it that,

547
00:31:03,585 --> 00:31:05,051
'cause that's, like, exactly
what you're doing.

548
00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:06,720
- What? No.
- Okay, you know what?

549
00:31:06,722 --> 00:31:09,990
No, I'll put you in your misery
'cause you're suffering.

550
00:31:12,394 --> 00:31:14,060
No! Stop it.

551
00:31:14,062 --> 00:31:17,564
I'm a social media consultant
It's what celebrities have.

552
00:31:17,566 --> 00:31:19,999
Chris is a YouTube celebrity.

553
00:31:20,001 --> 00:31:21,701
Okay, okay.

554
00:31:21,703 --> 00:31:26,006
So I'm a celebrity consultant
online.

555
00:31:26,008 --> 00:31:27,710
Ah.

556
00:31:30,044 --> 00:31:31,944
Ugh.

557
00:31:31,946 --> 00:31:33,646
I'd love to keep wasting time

558
00:31:33,648 --> 00:31:35,715
discussing your bizarre
personal problems,

559
00:31:35,717 --> 00:31:39,521
but it's eating into
my silent disco break.

560
00:31:47,096 --> 00:31:49,829
It's not a silent disco if
there's only one participant.

561
00:31:49,831 --> 00:31:51,733
Oh, sure.

562
00:32:03,378 --> 00:32:05,714
That's how you dance?

563
00:32:09,585 --> 00:32:10,817
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey, sweetie, what you doing?

564
00:32:10,819 --> 00:32:14,587
- Nothing.
- What you looking at?

565
00:32:14,589 --> 00:32:18,422
- Were you looking at porn?
- What? No.

566
00:32:18,424 --> 00:32:18,759
You know, having a healthy
sexual appetite

567
00:32:18,761 --> 00:32:20,594
is actually awesome.
It's just, if you're gonna

568
00:32:20,596 --> 00:32:22,528
look at porn, you need to be
aware of the exploitation.

569
00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:24,096
I'm gonna send you
some ethical sites.

570
00:32:24,098 --> 00:32:26,599
- Okay, I'm looking at a girl.
- Oh!

571
00:32:26,601 --> 00:32:28,101
- Jesus.
- Oh, my gosh.

572
00:32:28,103 --> 00:32:29,736
She is just drop-dead hot.

573
00:32:29,738 --> 00:32:31,637
- That's really gross, Mom.
- No, I'm just noticing.

574
00:32:31,639 --> 00:32:33,606
I mean, look at her.
She's just beautiful.

575
00:32:33,608 --> 00:32:34,907
- Ugh.
- She's so pretty.

576
00:32:34,909 --> 00:32:36,977
- You gonna ask her to prom?
- No, I'm not.

577
00:32:36,979 --> 00:32:38,811
I'm not asking her to prom.

578
00:32:38,813 --> 00:32:41,914
No, she wouldn't go with me.
Not with how I look.

579
00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,650
Honey, what are you talking
about?

580
00:32:43,652 --> 00:32:46,153
- That's crazy.
- How do we explain this to you?

581
00:32:46,155 --> 00:32:48,020
- You are perfect.
- Absolutely perfect.

582
00:32:48,022 --> 00:32:50,856
Okay, look, I love you guys,
but that's really hard

583
00:32:50,858 --> 00:32:52,659
to take to heart
coming from my moms.

584
00:32:52,661 --> 00:32:55,028
You know what? For a kid
who's raised by lesbians,

585
00:32:55,030 --> 00:32:57,631
you know startlingly little
about women, okay?

586
00:32:57,633 --> 00:33:00,733
She's a person.
She is a real, live person.

587
00:33:00,735 --> 00:33:02,536
Instead of just thinking
what girls want,

588
00:33:02,538 --> 00:33:04,637
you know, you have to know
what girls... blank.

589
00:33:04,639 --> 00:33:06,705
You have to
learn about this woman.

590
00:33:06,707 --> 00:33:09,843
Can I have my room back now?

591
00:33:09,845 --> 00:33:11,778
- Yes.
- Hmm.

592
00:33:35,203 --> 00:33:36,903
Stop!

593
00:33:51,953 --> 00:33:55,821
Bro, this place smells like
ass cheeks and Hot Cheetos.

594
00:33:55,823 --> 00:33:57,656
Well, Roxy loves this place.
All right?

595
00:33:57,658 --> 00:33:58,959
So let's just get you
on Snapchat

596
00:33:58,961 --> 00:34:01,161
saying something interesting
about the DJ.

597
00:34:01,163 --> 00:34:02,962
All right.

598
00:34:05,233 --> 00:34:06,766
Yo, what up, Hiyas?

599
00:34:06,768 --> 00:34:08,234
We out here at some stanky-ass
club listening to

600
00:34:08,236 --> 00:34:11,571
some skinny kids on laptops
play some weird-ass beats!

601
00:34:11,573 --> 00:34:13,573
It's gonna be lit.

602
00:34:13,575 --> 00:34:16,243
Stop. Dude, I ran out of time.

603
00:34:16,245 --> 00:34:18,278
All right,
now try talking about

604
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,845
how the music makes you feel.

605
00:34:19,847 --> 00:34:21,982
Remember, this is not
Coachella after dark.

606
00:34:21,984 --> 00:34:25,051
Bro, I can see that.

607
00:34:25,053 --> 00:34:27,720
Yo, I just got to say, TBH!

608
00:34:27,722 --> 00:34:29,622
These beats is illin'!

609
00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:33,125
They got the potench
to burn this club up!

610
00:34:33,127 --> 00:34:35,761
- Think that was it, dude.
- Mnh-mnh.

611
00:34:35,763 --> 00:34:38,968
What? Bro, is how I feel
not up to your standards?

612
00:34:40,702 --> 00:34:43,203
Okay, so the music that
they're playing right now

613
00:34:43,205 --> 00:34:46,038
is like an intellectual take
on electronic music.

614
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,808
Every bros says that
these beats are illin'.

615
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:51,011
Try talking about, like,
the instrumentation

616
00:34:51,013 --> 00:34:54,948
and the unique rhythms
or how a hook, like, grabs you

617
00:34:54,950 --> 00:34:57,082
and triggers a long-lost memory,
like, how that makes you feel.

618
00:34:57,084 --> 00:34:58,752
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.

619
00:34:58,754 --> 00:35:00,252
- Okay.
- Yep. Got you.

620
00:35:00,254 --> 00:35:03,055
Yo, these legit-as-shit beats
are making me think of

621
00:35:03,057 --> 00:35:05,191
this one time
I was on Lake Michigan.

622
00:35:05,193 --> 00:35:06,859
I was 11 years old.

623
00:35:06,861 --> 00:35:08,962
I had just learned
how to wakeboard.

624
00:35:08,964 --> 00:35:10,129
I was nervous.

625
00:35:10,131 --> 00:35:13,033
I wiped out so bad that I had
to go to the E.R. by...

626
00:35:13,035 --> 00:35:14,767
You know what?
Let's just get a pic of you

627
00:35:14,769 --> 00:35:17,937
and then call it a night
'cause this place fucking sucks.

628
00:35:17,939 --> 00:35:19,638
- Bro, bro.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

629
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,042
- How's the bicep, bro?
- Uh, looking good.

630
00:35:22,044 --> 00:35:24,113
Hiya!

631
00:35:26,113 --> 00:35:27,781
Okay.

632
00:35:27,783 --> 00:35:29,950
All right, one more.
Nice.

633
00:35:29,952 --> 00:35:32,218
- What?
- Oh, shit, bro. She's here.

634
00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,587
Get down.
She's gonna see me.

635
00:35:41,330 --> 00:35:42,895
No, dude, stay down.

636
00:35:42,897 --> 00:35:44,798
She looks like a robot
with epilepsy.

637
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,165
We're gonna have to
hide out here

638
00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:47,334
till the end of the night, bro.

639
00:35:47,336 --> 00:35:48,935
Shouldn't you go talk to her,
man?

640
00:35:48,937 --> 00:35:50,736
No, dude, I can't talk to her.
Stay down, please?

641
00:35:50,738 --> 00:35:54,674
- That's why we came here.
- I will hurt you.

642
00:35:54,676 --> 00:35:56,075
I mean, I won't hurt you.

643
00:35:56,077 --> 00:35:57,776
Listen, we gotta get out of
here, bro.

644
00:35:57,778 --> 00:35:59,312
We have to escape.
Put these on.

645
00:35:59,314 --> 00:36:01,080
What? Why is this...

646
00:36:01,082 --> 00:36:03,116
Dude, just shut up!
Just shut up!

647
00:36:03,118 --> 00:36:05,819
Bro, you have two pairs
of sunglasses?

648
00:36:05,821 --> 00:36:07,620
- Yeah, whatever.
- Ugh.

649
00:36:10,926 --> 00:36:14,326
Let's go. Yeah.
This way. This way.

650
00:36:20,801 --> 00:36:22,901
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

651
00:36:22,903 --> 00:36:24,703
Myself isn't good enough, bro.

652
00:36:24,705 --> 00:36:27,173
No, it totally is, man.

653
00:36:27,175 --> 00:36:29,075
You're handsome, you're cool,

654
00:36:29,077 --> 00:36:31,011
you're...
you're fucking awesome.

655
00:36:31,013 --> 00:36:32,912
And, oh, my God.
I should like my mom.

656
00:36:32,914 --> 00:36:35,247
She looks at me like
a little turd, bro,

657
00:36:35,249 --> 00:36:36,415
You know what?

658
00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:38,283
Have you ever been
to OG Gallery?

659
00:36:38,285 --> 00:36:39,919
It's a cool art gallery.

660
00:36:39,921 --> 00:36:42,721
And they've got a lot of, like,
cool showings and stuff.

661
00:36:42,723 --> 00:36:44,658
And she has a lot
of check-ins there.

662
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:47,694
There's an opening tomorrow,
and I'm pretty sure she'll go.

663
00:36:47,696 --> 00:36:49,395
- You know what, bro?
- What?

664
00:36:49,397 --> 00:36:50,863
I'm gonna give you
my password,

665
00:36:50,865 --> 00:36:53,799
- and you're gonna go for me.
- What is it?

666
00:36:53,801 --> 00:36:56,903
- You're not gonna tell anybody?
- I'm... no.

667
00:36:56,905 --> 00:36:59,104
Look at me in the eye, bro.

668
00:36:59,106 --> 00:37:02,875
- I'm never gonna tell anyone.
- Okay.

669
00:37:02,877 --> 00:37:04,977
It's "chrisnewton."

670
00:37:04,979 --> 00:37:07,212
- Like, that's it?
- Yeah, dude.

671
00:37:07,214 --> 00:37:08,714
Like, all lower case?

672
00:37:08,716 --> 00:37:09,982
"chrisnewton," lower case,
that's it.

673
00:37:09,984 --> 00:37:12,151
- Any numbers?
- No, bro, "chrisnewton."

674
00:37:12,153 --> 00:37:14,421
That's your password
for which account?

675
00:37:14,423 --> 00:37:16,756
Shut up!

676
00:37:16,758 --> 00:37:19,158
Oh, shit, bro!

677
00:37:42,117 --> 00:37:45,218
You can't put this artist's
work into words.

678
00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:47,153
Oh, hey, Roxy.

679
00:37:47,155 --> 00:37:49,723
Were you at El Enfermo
last night?

680
00:37:49,725 --> 00:37:52,060
No, never heard of it.

681
00:37:54,896 --> 00:37:58,064
There are some really cool
pieces here.

682
00:37:58,066 --> 00:38:02,067
Yeah, I'm taking an art class
at the community college,

683
00:38:02,069 --> 00:38:04,970
and my professor showed me
this place.

684
00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:08,341
It's really cool,
and they really focus on,

685
00:38:08,343 --> 00:38:11,944
like, up-and-coming artists.

686
00:38:11,946 --> 00:38:14,080
Honestly, I hang out here
all the time

687
00:38:14,082 --> 00:38:17,953
because I'm hoping
they'll show my art someday.

688
00:38:19,421 --> 00:38:21,120
Good strategy.

689
00:38:25,227 --> 00:38:27,029
Hmm.

690
00:38:28,497 --> 00:38:30,964
You know, my friend Chris Newton

691
00:38:30,966 --> 00:38:33,466
told me about this artist.

692
00:38:33,468 --> 00:38:35,033
Chris Newton?

693
00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:36,269
Yeah.

694
00:38:36,271 --> 00:38:38,971
"Hiya" Chris Newton
knows what art is?

695
00:38:38,973 --> 00:38:41,975
He's actually
kind of a Renaissance man.

696
00:38:41,977 --> 00:38:45,410
Oh, so he's just
disguised as a douche?

697
00:38:45,412 --> 00:38:47,412
Yeah. No.

698
00:38:47,414 --> 00:38:48,982
Um...

699
00:38:48,984 --> 00:38:50,316
You know what? Here.

700
00:38:50,318 --> 00:38:52,252
You might want to just
look at his online stuff.

701
00:38:52,254 --> 00:38:56,890
It gives you a way better idea
of what he's like as a person.

702
00:38:56,892 --> 00:38:59,526
- Mm.
- Honestly...

703
00:38:59,528 --> 00:39:01,528
- try and keep this on the DL.
- Okay.

704
00:39:01,530 --> 00:39:06,435
He is painfully shy around
intelligent, beautiful women.

705
00:39:06,935 --> 00:39:09,134
Get out of town.

706
00:39:09,136 --> 00:39:11,970
No, like, his brain, like,
freezes up

707
00:39:11,972 --> 00:39:14,040
and then his mouth gets all dry.

708
00:39:14,042 --> 00:39:16,142
And then there's the Tourette's.

709
00:39:16,144 --> 00:39:18,511
Tourette's?
He has Tourette's?

710
00:39:18,513 --> 00:39:20,446
- Mm-hmm.
- Really?

711
00:39:20,448 --> 00:39:23,383
Yeah.

712
00:39:23,385 --> 00:39:25,218
I didn't know.

713
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:27,886
I kind of feel like
an asshole now.

714
00:39:27,888 --> 00:39:31,957
Well, I mean, you probably
still have a chance.

715
00:39:31,959 --> 00:39:35,229
Try maybe speaking
with him in person.

716
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:42,134
Uh...

717
00:39:42,136 --> 00:39:43,303
See you, Cy.

718
00:39:43,305 --> 00:39:45,140
Bye.

719
00:39:47,609 --> 00:39:49,812
Ugh.

720
00:39:53,981 --> 00:39:55,848
Bro! She did it.

721
00:39:55,850 --> 00:39:57,549
Roxy... she followed me
on Picto-Stache,

722
00:39:57,551 --> 00:39:59,319
and she double clicked your boy!

723
00:39:59,321 --> 00:40:01,220
- Okay, okay, calm down.
- Maybe I should like

724
00:40:01,222 --> 00:40:02,855
a few of her posts right now,
just so she knows

725
00:40:02,857 --> 00:40:04,256
- that I saw it, right?
- No, no, no, no.

726
00:40:04,258 --> 00:40:06,058
- We don't want to seem thirsty.
- What the shit, bro?

727
00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:07,926
- Give me my phone back.
- It's my phone, dude.

728
00:40:07,928 --> 00:40:09,229
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I gotta let her know

729
00:40:09,231 --> 00:40:11,064
that I saw it, bro.
I gotta...

730
00:40:11,066 --> 00:40:13,899
- Shit, dog.
- What?

731
00:40:13,901 --> 00:40:15,167
Oh, shoot, oh, shoot.

732
00:40:15,169 --> 00:40:16,368
I think she's FaceTiming me,
bro.

733
00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:19,638
- Why is she FaceTiming me?
- Dude, answer it.

734
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,207
Okay, every time
she asks you a question,

735
00:40:21,209 --> 00:40:22,941
just freeze
like there's bad Wi-Fi,

736
00:40:22,943 --> 00:40:25,578
- and I'll feed you lines, okay?
- Bro, that's your genius plan?

737
00:40:25,580 --> 00:40:27,080
Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on.

738
00:40:27,082 --> 00:40:28,647
Let me just come up
with like 12 more ideas

739
00:40:28,649 --> 00:40:31,283
so we can focus-group them and
figure out which one is best.

740
00:40:31,285 --> 00:40:34,419
Okay. Okay. Okay.

741
00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:35,622
Sup?

742
00:40:35,624 --> 00:40:39,091
Hi, Chris. How goes it?

743
00:40:39,093 --> 00:40:43,095
Oh, it's going.
How's it going? It's going.

744
00:40:43,097 --> 00:40:45,999
Are you... did you...
I think you're frozen.

745
00:40:46,001 --> 00:40:47,566
Say there's bad Wi-Fi.
It's worse than the time

746
00:40:47,568 --> 00:40:49,968
you were in Vietnam building
houses for poor people.

747
00:40:49,970 --> 00:40:52,537
- Actually, I can't...
- Sorry, this Wi-Fi sucks.

748
00:40:52,539 --> 00:40:55,642
I mean, it's almost as bad
as when I was in Vietnam

749
00:40:55,644 --> 00:40:57,977
building houses for poor people.

750
00:40:57,979 --> 00:40:59,578
Oh, you were...
you were in Vietnam?

751
00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:02,115
You were building houses
for poor people?

752
00:41:02,117 --> 00:41:04,651
Yeah, it's badass.

753
00:41:04,653 --> 00:41:06,986
- Uh, what are you doing?
- What am I doing?

754
00:41:06,988 --> 00:41:11,424
I, uh... I'm just chillin.
You look really hot.

755
00:41:11,426 --> 00:41:15,294
- What. I look hot?
- Tell her her face is so hot

756
00:41:15,296 --> 00:41:18,196
that... that... that it melts
even the coldest night

757
00:41:18,198 --> 00:41:19,933
because of the radiance
of its glow.

758
00:41:19,935 --> 00:41:21,301
Are you... you're frozen again.

759
00:41:21,303 --> 00:41:24,002
I meant to say
that's your your face is so hot

760
00:41:24,004 --> 00:41:25,270
it can melt the coldest
of nights

761
00:41:25,272 --> 00:41:27,105
- with the radiance of its glow.
- Mm.

762
00:41:27,107 --> 00:41:29,207
You're a bit of a charmer,
aren't you?

763
00:41:29,209 --> 00:41:32,312
Oh, well, what can I say?
You must bring it out in me.

764
00:41:32,314 --> 00:41:36,417
Well, should we see if you can
be this charming in person?

765
00:41:39,421 --> 00:41:42,488
Yeah, sure, yeah,
I'll pick you up soon.

766
00:41:42,490 --> 00:41:45,424
Yeah? Okay.
All right, see you tonight.

767
00:41:45,426 --> 00:41:47,160
Bye.

768
00:41:49,296 --> 00:41:53,098
Oh, my God, dude!
We did it!

769
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:54,334
- What?!
- No, no, no, no.

770
00:41:54,336 --> 00:41:56,102
Dude, what's wrong with you,
man?

771
00:41:56,104 --> 00:41:58,437
We just got you a date.
You should be ecstatic!

772
00:41:58,439 --> 00:42:00,305
Bro, I don't know what
I'm gonna say!

773
00:42:00,307 --> 00:42:04,176
I'm gonna be there by myself.
Oh!

774
00:42:04,178 --> 00:42:07,714
- Shit, shit, shit.
- Oh! I'm not ready.

775
00:42:07,716 --> 00:42:09,549
- Oh, shit.
- Ohhhhhh!

776
00:42:09,551 --> 00:42:11,316
Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
Look, look, look.

777
00:42:11,318 --> 00:42:12,685
Look what I have.
Look what I have.

778
00:42:12,687 --> 00:42:15,620
- Dude, dude, look!
- What, bro?

779
00:42:15,622 --> 00:42:19,058
It's a Bluetooth!
We can talk on the Bluetooth!

780
00:42:19,060 --> 00:42:21,593
- Ohh! Secret agents, bro!
- Yeah!

781
00:42:21,595 --> 00:42:24,564
Hell yeah, you fucking nerd!

782
00:42:24,566 --> 00:42:26,401
Check this out.

783
00:42:28,435 --> 00:42:30,569
Whoa!

784
00:42:30,571 --> 00:42:32,437
Just like that.

785
00:42:32,439 --> 00:42:34,607
You just happen to have
a fake cast?

786
00:42:34,609 --> 00:42:36,475
Bro, chicks love it.

787
00:42:36,477 --> 00:42:38,678
You're certifiable, man.

788
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,250
Huh. Thanks, dude. You, too.

789
00:42:47,155 --> 00:42:48,620
How did you break your arm?

790
00:42:48,622 --> 00:42:51,457
Oh, I was skateboarding.

791
00:42:51,459 --> 00:42:53,058
- <i>I'm so sorry.</i>
- <i>That's okay.</i>

792
00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:54,359
<i>It's just
super tender right now.</i>

793
00:42:54,361 --> 00:42:56,129
- Unbelievable.
- Well, at least you got

794
00:42:56,131 --> 00:42:57,397
- a lot of signatures.
- Yeah.

795
00:42:57,399 --> 00:42:59,799
- ...quickly.
- I'm a pretty popular dude.

796
00:42:59,801 --> 00:43:01,700
<i>Okay, so her shirt
looks like it could have been</i>

797
00:43:01,702 --> 00:43:04,504
made by this Japanese artist
who's obsessed with polka dots.

798
00:43:04,506 --> 00:43:06,238
Her name is Yayoi Kusama.

799
00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:08,241
<i>Your shirt is great.</i>

800
00:43:08,243 --> 00:43:10,642
- Yay-Yay Kusumi, right?
- Uh, Kusama. I... yeah.

801
00:43:10,644 --> 00:43:11,810
- I love her.
- Kusama.

802
00:43:11,812 --> 00:43:13,312
- Yeah.
- Me too.

803
00:43:13,314 --> 00:43:15,048
Oh, did you see her exhibit
at the Broad?

804
00:43:15,050 --> 00:43:16,348
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

805
00:43:16,350 --> 00:43:17,649
Well, actually
I caught it on YouTube.

806
00:43:17,651 --> 00:43:21,490
- <i>No, you didn't.</i>
- Yes, I did.

807
00:43:22,356 --> 00:43:25,259
So while it
still resonates today...

808
00:43:26,461 --> 00:43:30,296
its tropes feel dated
from when Kerouac wrote it.

809
00:43:30,298 --> 00:43:33,131
Well, I still kind of love it.

810
00:43:33,133 --> 00:43:35,567
<i>I find it sexy and romantic.</i>

811
00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:41,506
Yeah, imagine how zietgeisty
it felt reading it back in 1957.

812
00:43:41,508 --> 00:43:45,812
<i>Imagine how zietgeisty it felt
reading it back in 1957.</i>

813
00:43:45,814 --> 00:43:48,848
Hmm. I can't imagine.

814
00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:51,417
Are you... are you more of Dean
or a Sal?

815
00:43:51,419 --> 00:43:54,287
<i>Well, Marylou,
what do you think?</i>

816
00:43:54,289 --> 00:43:58,723
Well, Marylou,
what do you think?

817
00:44:02,397 --> 00:44:04,162
Tell her she has
the kind of beauty

818
00:44:04,164 --> 00:44:06,531
that inspires great works of art
to be made.

819
00:44:06,533 --> 00:44:07,500
Hey.

820
00:44:07,502 --> 00:44:12,171
Your beauty just inspires
great works of...

821
00:44:12,173 --> 00:44:13,506
Ah, shi...

822
00:44:13,508 --> 00:44:15,174
Wait. Hey, wait a second,
You can't do that.

823
00:44:15,176 --> 00:44:16,709
That's my phone.
Hey, give it back!

824
00:44:16,711 --> 00:44:18,678
What are you doing?!
Hey, wait, wait, wait.

825
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,212
- Um, yeah.
- Are you okay?

826
00:44:20,214 --> 00:44:22,348
Yeah, yeah.
It's just, like, a sudden pain.

827
00:44:22,350 --> 00:44:25,785
But what were we saying?
What was I saying?

828
00:44:25,787 --> 00:44:29,154
- Um...
- You're beautiful.

829
00:44:29,156 --> 00:44:31,890
And art's beautiful.

830
00:44:31,892 --> 00:44:35,261
So you're beautiful art.

831
00:44:35,263 --> 00:44:38,163
Thank you.

832
00:44:38,165 --> 00:44:41,669
Wait.

833
00:44:45,439 --> 00:44:48,640
- Are you feeling better?
- Yeah.

834
00:44:55,482 --> 00:44:58,750
- You have a...
- What are you doing?

835
00:44:58,752 --> 00:45:01,888
I'm, um... I'm...
I can palm read.

836
00:45:01,890 --> 00:45:03,321
- Oh. Oh.
- Yeah.

837
00:45:03,323 --> 00:45:06,660
Check this out.
You, um...

838
00:45:09,464 --> 00:45:11,930
You've experienced some loss.

839
00:45:11,932 --> 00:45:14,834
Mm. Haven't we all?

840
00:45:14,836 --> 00:45:16,836
Um...

841
00:45:16,838 --> 00:45:21,506
Oh, it was your dad?

842
00:45:21,508 --> 00:45:25,477
Um, you have a very strong
lifeline.

843
00:45:25,479 --> 00:45:26,511
Mm.

844
00:45:26,513 --> 00:45:28,781
And, uh, your love line...

845
00:45:28,783 --> 00:45:33,586
you need a guy who, like...
gets the whole you.

846
00:45:33,588 --> 00:45:34,787
Mm.

847
00:45:34,789 --> 00:45:37,256
It's a very cute party trick.

848
00:45:37,258 --> 00:45:38,924
- It's good, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

849
00:45:38,926 --> 00:45:40,526
It's all right.

850
00:45:40,528 --> 00:45:43,328
What are you...

851
00:45:43,330 --> 00:45:44,930
This is another part of it.

852
00:45:44,932 --> 00:45:48,267
Okay. Okay, my turn.

853
00:45:48,269 --> 00:45:49,634
I'm gonna ask you
some questions.

854
00:45:49,636 --> 00:45:52,404
Seriously, do you...

855
00:45:52,406 --> 00:45:53,772
Oh, this is gonna sound mean.

856
00:45:53,774 --> 00:45:56,375
Do you ever feel schizophrenic,

857
00:45:56,377 --> 00:45:59,377
like stuck between your
douchebag school persona

858
00:45:59,379 --> 00:46:03,515
and the, like,
cultured real you?

859
00:46:03,517 --> 00:46:06,819
You know, you just... you got
to go with the flow, right?

860
00:46:06,821 --> 00:46:10,455
If you don't break you'll bend.

861
00:46:10,457 --> 00:46:13,459
You can't make
a horse drink water, right?

862
00:46:13,461 --> 00:46:16,529
Um, sorry.
I'm just really curious.

863
00:46:16,531 --> 00:46:19,298
Do you... do you feel a need
to, like, be seen

864
00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:21,566
by a lot of people
to be validated,

865
00:46:21,568 --> 00:46:24,537
like that's why you do
your videos and stuff?

866
00:46:24,539 --> 00:46:27,406
'Cause you seem like you're
actually really sensitive.

867
00:46:27,408 --> 00:46:28,975
You're saying <i>I'm</i> sensitive.

868
00:46:28,977 --> 00:46:31,776
Oh, no, no, no. I meant that...
I meant that as a good thing.

869
00:46:31,778 --> 00:46:35,448
I... I've won Homecoming King
three times in a row.

870
00:46:35,450 --> 00:46:37,683
The third time I was
disqualified for being wasted.

871
00:46:37,685 --> 00:46:42,254
I have 347,000 followers
who watch every dope thing I do.

872
00:46:42,256 --> 00:46:43,488
I'm savage, okay?

873
00:46:43,490 --> 00:46:45,524
I'm not some sensitive chick,
who...

874
00:46:45,526 --> 00:46:46,758
No, no, no, okay.
Yeah I get it.

875
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,462
Yeah, it was meant to be
a compliment.

876
00:46:49,464 --> 00:46:52,665
- What? Sensitive?
- Yeah.

877
00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,000
I'm not gonna be
some sensitive...

878
00:46:57,305 --> 00:47:00,506
That just...

879
00:47:00,508 --> 00:47:02,008
Dude!

880
00:47:02,010 --> 00:47:03,609
- I can explain.
- You're a dick.

881
00:47:03,611 --> 00:47:04,944
- No.
- I cannot believe that

882
00:47:04,946 --> 00:47:06,511
I actually felt sorry for you,

883
00:47:06,513 --> 00:47:08,613
Like, I felt sorry
for your fake broken arm

884
00:47:08,615 --> 00:47:10,582
and your stupid
skateboarding accident.

885
00:47:10,584 --> 00:47:13,352
- My body has Tourette's, too.
- Your body has Tourette's?

886
00:47:13,354 --> 00:47:15,020
Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah.

887
00:47:15,022 --> 00:47:17,723
Wow! I...

888
00:47:17,725 --> 00:47:19,725
I can't believe that I thought
I could have a real conversation

889
00:47:19,727 --> 00:47:22,461
with someone who karate chops
innocent people all day.

890
00:47:22,463 --> 00:47:24,529
- That was stupid
- I'm changing my channel, okay?

891
00:47:24,531 --> 00:47:26,064
It's gonna be life-changing
life acts from now on,

892
00:47:26,066 --> 00:47:28,533
and I'm gonna be doing stuff
for, like, cologne for guys

893
00:47:28,535 --> 00:47:30,035
and how to get ripped abs,
shit like that.

894
00:47:30,037 --> 00:47:32,404
Oh, that's brilliant.
You should... that's brilliant.

895
00:47:32,406 --> 00:47:34,506
Where are you going?
Roxy, wait, Roxy!

896
00:47:34,508 --> 00:47:38,412
Yo, seriously, like,
leave me alone, okay?

897
00:47:43,350 --> 00:47:46,951
Good morning, LCH High!

898
00:47:46,953 --> 00:47:49,488
It's six days until senior prom.

899
00:47:49,490 --> 00:47:51,357
Have you found
your better half yet?

900
00:47:51,359 --> 00:47:55,394
If not, remember, you only get
one or two proms a lifetime.

901
00:47:55,396 --> 00:47:56,662
Hey, Kat, what about you?

902
00:47:56,664 --> 00:47:59,631
Have you found
your special someone?

903
00:47:59,633 --> 00:48:02,734
Oh, well, prom's an archaic
heteronormative perpetuating

904
00:48:02,736 --> 00:48:06,404
sexist mating ritual
that's outlasted its necessity.

905
00:48:06,406 --> 00:48:09,808
It's patriarchal
and quasi-fascist.

906
00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:12,646
Well, it makes great content.
Keep it up.

907
00:48:13,981 --> 00:48:15,915
Where did you hear that from?

908
00:48:15,917 --> 00:48:18,417
Yo mama!

909
00:48:18,419 --> 00:48:20,419
No, seriously,
Sarah's been giving me some,

910
00:48:20,421 --> 00:48:22,087
like, really engaging
books to read.

911
00:48:22,089 --> 00:48:24,756
- Psst! Cy!
- Fuck.

912
00:48:24,758 --> 00:48:26,558
- Gotta deal with Chris.
- Cy!

913
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,095
- Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.
- Okay.

914
00:48:29,097 --> 00:48:30,495
I need to talk to you.

915
00:48:30,497 --> 00:48:31,830
I'm really sorry
about last night.

916
00:48:31,832 --> 00:48:33,698
However, I think
we've set you up good.

917
00:48:33,700 --> 00:48:36,134
Just a little more effort, we
can finish strong, no problem.

918
00:48:36,136 --> 00:48:38,837
No, I screwed up pretty bad,
man. What are we gonna do?

919
00:48:38,839 --> 00:48:42,140
We? Uh, I got her to go on
a date with you.

920
00:48:42,142 --> 00:48:44,542
- That was the deal.
- Seriously, bro?

921
00:48:44,544 --> 00:48:46,611
Dude, that date was the ultimate
fail, man.

922
00:48:46,613 --> 00:48:48,747
Don't you give up on me, bro.

923
00:48:48,749 --> 00:48:51,049
I at least want her to go
to prom with me, all right?

924
00:48:51,051 --> 00:48:52,685
- Help.
- I don't know.

925
00:48:52,687 --> 00:48:55,388
- A week isn't enough time.
- I will double your money.

926
00:48:55,390 --> 00:48:56,888
Double.

927
00:48:56,890 --> 00:49:00,593
So, if I get her to go to prom
with you, we're square?

928
00:49:00,595 --> 00:49:02,995
We're square, dude,
but we're better than square.

929
00:49:02,997 --> 00:49:04,596
We're, like... we're rectangle,

930
00:49:04,598 --> 00:49:06,799
whatever shape is the dankest,
bro!

931
00:49:06,801 --> 00:49:08,968
But don't... you can't
bribe her, okay?

932
00:49:08,970 --> 00:49:11,002
- I won't.
- Deal?

933
00:49:11,004 --> 00:49:14,406
That's a deal.

934
00:49:14,408 --> 00:49:16,508
Dude, your hands are soft, bro.

935
00:49:16,510 --> 00:49:18,009
- Dude, stop, man.
- Nice.

936
00:49:18,011 --> 00:49:19,477
I've got class.

937
00:49:19,479 --> 00:49:22,615
"When I'm with you,

938
00:49:22,617 --> 00:49:27,819
I feel like I'm evaporating.

939
00:49:27,821 --> 00:49:30,756
You're so beautiful.

940
00:49:30,758 --> 00:49:33,591
I am diminishing

941
00:49:33,593 --> 00:49:38,029
like I'm nothing
in your presence.

942
00:49:38,031 --> 00:49:42,767
There aren't many things in this
world that are that perfect.

943
00:49:42,769 --> 00:49:49,774
Your perfection
magnifies my flaws.

944
00:49:49,776 --> 00:49:54,546
I hope you accept this sincere
apology

945
00:49:54,548 --> 00:49:58,584
for my ludicrous,
inappropriate behavior.

946
00:49:58,586 --> 00:50:01,486
Please give me another chance
to prove myself

947
00:50:01,488 --> 00:50:03,622
worthy of your affections.

948
00:50:03,624 --> 00:50:06,792
Forever yours, Cy."

949
00:50:12,466 --> 00:50:16,801
I meant Chris.

950
00:50:18,506 --> 00:50:21,740
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

951
00:50:21,742 --> 00:50:23,075
Fuck!

952
00:50:26,113 --> 00:50:27,946
Agh!

953
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,989
Roxy!

954
00:50:39,961 --> 00:50:41,560
What are you doing?

955
00:50:41,562 --> 00:50:43,995
Oh, th-they're just pebbles.

956
00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:46,131
Well, first of all,
that's the wrong window.

957
00:50:46,133 --> 00:50:48,834
And who throws pebbles anymore?

958
00:50:50,705 --> 00:50:53,071
Seriously,
off my fucking property.

959
00:50:55,142 --> 00:50:57,609
Want to come in?

960
00:50:57,611 --> 00:51:00,647
Come on. Just climb through
the window, yeah?

961
00:51:03,283 --> 00:51:05,250
Oh, you got it?

962
00:51:05,252 --> 00:51:07,051
Yeah, I got it.

963
00:51:07,053 --> 00:51:09,087
That's graceful.

964
00:51:09,089 --> 00:51:10,855
Sorry to pop up like that,

965
00:51:10,857 --> 00:51:13,725
but it's kind of an emergency.

966
00:51:13,727 --> 00:51:15,127
Why are you whispering?

967
00:51:15,129 --> 00:51:17,830
Oh, your parents.

968
00:51:17,832 --> 00:51:19,999
Oh, my mom's
at a fundraiser

969
00:51:20,001 --> 00:51:21,933
for saving rhinoceroses.

970
00:51:21,935 --> 00:51:24,169
Oh. Also, wait.

971
00:51:24,171 --> 00:51:26,138
Isn't it "rhinoceri"?

972
00:51:26,140 --> 00:51:29,073
You're not... I...

973
00:51:29,075 --> 00:51:30,276
What's your emergency?

974
00:51:30,278 --> 00:51:33,712
Oh, I came to
talk to you about...

975
00:51:33,714 --> 00:51:38,883
for, uh, about...
giving Chris another chance.

976
00:51:38,885 --> 00:51:40,653
Ooh! Out, out
the way you came in.

977
00:51:40,655 --> 00:51:42,620
Hey, wait, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

978
00:51:42,622 --> 00:51:44,756
He feels terrible, okay?

979
00:51:44,758 --> 00:51:47,593
He was... he was super,
super nervous, all right?

980
00:51:47,595 --> 00:51:50,629
He would do anything
to make it up to you.

981
00:51:50,631 --> 00:51:51,964
He wore a fake cast.

982
00:51:51,966 --> 00:51:54,767
Like, he's a liar
and probably a sociopath.

983
00:51:54,769 --> 00:51:56,734
Yeah, but kind of
a hot sociopath.

984
00:51:56,736 --> 00:51:59,772
Oh. Why don't you date him?

985
00:51:59,774 --> 00:52:01,339
Okay, wait. When you
think of it like this,

986
00:52:01,341 --> 00:52:03,341
it's actually kind of brilliant,
what he did.

987
00:52:03,343 --> 00:52:07,745
He designed an elaborate,

988
00:52:07,747 --> 00:52:12,850
sympathy-inducing contraption,
all because he was afraid

989
00:52:12,852 --> 00:52:16,721
that just him on his own
wasn't enough.

990
00:52:16,723 --> 00:52:20,562
Really, it's sadly admirable.

991
00:52:22,363 --> 00:52:24,062
I don't even know
what to say to him.

992
00:52:24,064 --> 00:52:25,763
Oh, just give me your phone,
I'll just text him for you.

993
00:52:25,765 --> 00:52:27,700
Nope. Actually...

994
00:52:27,702 --> 00:52:29,602
I have a project.

995
00:52:29,604 --> 00:52:31,035
Be my assistant?

996
00:52:31,037 --> 00:52:32,870
Sorry if I interrupted
your night.

997
00:52:32,872 --> 00:52:35,841
Nope, I was just ordering
leather to make leather pants.

998
00:52:35,843 --> 00:52:38,910
I have no idea how you, like,
survive in that stuff.

999
00:52:38,912 --> 00:52:41,145
I don't know.
It's pretty comfortable.

1000
00:52:41,147 --> 00:52:43,381
- Oh, shit, shit!
- What?

1001
00:52:43,383 --> 00:52:44,917
I need to, um...

1002
00:52:44,919 --> 00:52:46,951
Sorry.
I need to borrow your phone.

1003
00:52:46,953 --> 00:52:49,053
- And I have to text my moms.
- Oh.

1004
00:52:49,055 --> 00:52:51,924
They freak out if they don't
know exactly, like,

1005
00:52:51,926 --> 00:52:54,892
everything about
where and when I'm at.

1006
00:52:54,894 --> 00:52:57,196
Yeah, parents are...
parents are terrible.

1007
00:52:57,198 --> 00:53:01,834
Yeah, and I'm just a little
too lazy to go back inside...

1008
00:53:01,836 --> 00:53:04,205
- Right.
- ...to get my phone.

1009
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,705
All right.

1010
00:53:07,707 --> 00:53:08,941
What are you doing?

1011
00:53:08,943 --> 00:53:12,778
- Sorry. Bad Wi-Fi.
- Okay.

1012
00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:14,113
- Dude, are you in my photos?
- No, I'm not.

1013
00:53:14,115 --> 00:53:15,913
There's nothing in there,
like...

1014
00:53:15,915 --> 00:53:17,982
I know, I know, I know.
Just...

1015
00:53:17,984 --> 00:53:19,384
I don't have nudes.
I don't do that.

1016
00:53:19,386 --> 00:53:22,955
Ahhh.

1017
00:53:22,957 --> 00:53:24,790
- Okay, all right.
- You did it?

1018
00:53:24,792 --> 00:53:27,158
- I'm good. Here.
- Thank you.

1019
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,662
Yeah, just feel like a weight's
been lifted off your shoulders?

1020
00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:31,397
- You have no idea.
- Yeah. Here.

1021
00:53:31,399 --> 00:53:32,865
Thanks.

1022
00:53:32,867 --> 00:53:35,401
All right.

1023
00:53:35,403 --> 00:53:38,839
- Are you ready?
- I don't know. Am I?

1024
00:53:44,412 --> 00:53:47,279
Hmm.

1025
00:53:47,281 --> 00:53:48,881
What are you thinking?

1026
00:53:48,883 --> 00:53:51,683
No, I'm just... I'm looking.
It's cool.

1027
00:53:51,685 --> 00:53:53,053
Thank you.

1028
00:53:55,356 --> 00:53:57,022
What's that one?

1029
00:53:57,024 --> 00:53:59,424
Oh, just a piece
of working on.

1030
00:53:59,426 --> 00:54:04,229
It shows how we use social media
to lie and distort reality.

1031
00:54:06,466 --> 00:54:08,366
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

1032
00:54:10,370 --> 00:54:11,937
You were saying?

1033
00:54:11,939 --> 00:54:14,038
I was just saying that,
you know,

1034
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,741
we doctor our photos
before we put them online.

1035
00:54:16,743 --> 00:54:19,778
And, you know, if you strip away
all the filters and the makeup,

1036
00:54:19,780 --> 00:54:23,816
that's where you get the truth.

1037
00:54:23,818 --> 00:54:26,919
Yeah, feels like my life.

1038
00:54:26,921 --> 00:54:28,720
It's all our lives.

1039
00:54:28,722 --> 00:54:30,888
We're all hyper-self-conscious

1040
00:54:30,890 --> 00:54:34,695
and feel inadequate, like,
all the time.

1041
00:54:37,497 --> 00:54:41,001
- It's awful.
- Yeah, I can relate.

1042
00:54:43,037 --> 00:54:45,104
How so?

1043
00:54:45,106 --> 00:54:46,874
Mm.

1044
00:54:49,209 --> 00:54:51,075
You know, like this.

1045
00:54:51,077 --> 00:54:54,078
Your face?
What about your face?

1046
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:58,417
Well, I mean, you know,
it's got a lot of flaws.

1047
00:54:58,419 --> 00:55:00,486
Like what?

1048
00:55:00,488 --> 00:55:02,190
It's stupid.

1049
00:55:04,325 --> 00:55:06,125
It's not stupid.

1050
00:55:12,165 --> 00:55:14,098
Okay.

1051
00:55:14,100 --> 00:55:20,004
Your eyes are piercing,
deep, volatile.

1052
00:55:20,006 --> 00:55:25,209
Your nose is the mark
of a witty,

1053
00:55:25,211 --> 00:55:27,513
courteous, affable,

1054
00:55:27,515 --> 00:55:30,515
generous, and liberal man.

1055
00:55:30,517 --> 00:55:35,319
Your chin is goofy, spontaneous,

1056
00:55:35,321 --> 00:55:39,026
light, and obviously adorable.

1057
00:55:40,294 --> 00:55:43,529
You've got very rosy cheeks.
That's also very adorable.

1058
00:55:43,531 --> 00:55:46,033
Mm. I made you smile.

1059
00:55:47,935 --> 00:55:53,037
It's not perfect,
but perfect's boring.

1060
00:55:53,039 --> 00:55:55,006
So, no.

1061
00:55:55,008 --> 00:55:57,475
I don't know what flaws
you're referring to.

1062
00:56:05,285 --> 00:56:07,519
I-I have to go now.

1063
00:56:07,521 --> 00:56:09,957
Thanks for the water.

1064
00:56:17,397 --> 00:56:19,964
So, does Chris know about

1065
00:56:19,966 --> 00:56:23,401
your extracurricular activities?

1066
00:56:23,403 --> 00:56:25,169
Mm.

1067
00:56:25,171 --> 00:56:27,305
You don't actually like her,
do you?

1068
00:56:27,307 --> 00:56:29,042
No, come on.

1069
00:56:30,611 --> 00:56:33,011
You do! You like her!

1070
00:56:33,013 --> 00:56:35,046
- No, I don't, no.
- Yeah, I can tell.

1071
00:56:35,048 --> 00:56:36,314
That's ridiculous.

1072
00:56:36,316 --> 00:56:38,049
You're avoiding eye contact
with me.

1073
00:56:38,051 --> 00:56:40,484
That's 'cause I'm awkward.

1074
00:56:40,486 --> 00:56:44,022
No, I can tell every single time
you've had a crush on a girl

1075
00:56:44,024 --> 00:56:45,857
since, like, fourth grade.

1076
00:56:45,859 --> 00:56:49,928
Yeah, you get this whole...

1077
00:56:49,930 --> 00:56:53,234
wistful thing about you.

1078
00:56:54,935 --> 00:56:56,267
That's what you look like.

1079
00:56:56,269 --> 00:56:58,038
Whatever.

1080
00:56:59,138 --> 00:57:01,205
All right, I got you a present.

1081
00:57:01,207 --> 00:57:03,107
It's... no.

1082
00:57:05,946 --> 00:57:08,080
Wait, no.

1083
00:57:10,450 --> 00:57:13,618
It's a rhino.

1084
00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:15,953
I had a dream
that you were a rhino,

1085
00:57:15,955 --> 00:57:17,622
'cause you kind of
look like one.

1086
00:57:17,624 --> 00:57:20,325
How?

1087
00:57:20,327 --> 00:57:23,495
I think it's, um...

1088
00:57:23,497 --> 00:57:25,162
like, the mouth area.

1089
00:57:25,164 --> 00:57:28,933
I mean, look at this
and then your mouth.

1090
00:57:28,935 --> 00:57:31,104
Can't really see my mouth.

1091
00:57:31,671 --> 00:57:34,140
Rawr!

1092
00:57:40,546 --> 00:57:42,647
Cy, okay, listen.

1093
00:57:42,649 --> 00:57:46,317
This is an ESZ,

1094
00:57:46,319 --> 00:57:49,254
- an emotional safe zone, okay?
- All right.

1095
00:57:49,256 --> 00:57:52,189
Feel free to express
any and all emotions

1096
00:57:52,191 --> 00:57:56,028
within the parameters
of this ESZ.

1097
00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:57,995
Stop.

1098
00:57:57,997 --> 00:58:00,464
Where did you get that from?

1099
00:58:00,466 --> 00:58:02,234
My therapist.

1100
00:58:02,236 --> 00:58:05,270
Oh, well, I actually
really like our place,

1101
00:58:05,272 --> 00:58:08,674
and I don't want to tainted
with the stench of emotions.

1102
00:58:08,676 --> 00:58:10,912
Emotions don't smell.

1103
00:58:13,147 --> 00:58:14,345
Okay.

1104
00:58:14,347 --> 00:58:20,453
I mean, feel free to be
a festering ball of repression.

1105
00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:25,957
Just remember,
my audition is next week.

1106
00:58:25,959 --> 00:58:28,060
Hey, don't worry.
I'll be there.

1107
00:58:28,062 --> 00:58:30,361
Pinkie promise.

1108
00:58:30,363 --> 00:58:32,430
- I'm gonna hold you to it.
- Okay.

1109
00:58:32,432 --> 00:58:36,200
- You gonna hold him to it, too?
- Yeah.

1110
00:58:36,202 --> 00:58:41,605
Just like you want Roxy
hold against your body

1111
00:58:41,607 --> 00:58:44,308
but you pop a trom-boner.

1112
00:58:44,310 --> 00:58:47,312
Ah, kids, get off my roof!

1113
00:58:47,314 --> 00:58:49,180
Oh, shit!

1114
00:59:24,084 --> 00:59:25,584
- Hiya!
- Oh.

1115
00:59:25,586 --> 00:59:29,354
- Hiya!
- Keep it loose.

1116
00:59:29,356 --> 00:59:32,089
It's all, like...
I mean, you're perfect.

1117
00:59:35,062 --> 00:59:38,031
Fuckin' crazy!

1118
00:59:38,631 --> 00:59:41,500
- Hiya!
- Yeah.

1119
00:59:41,502 --> 00:59:42,767
What the hell, brah?

1120
00:59:42,769 --> 00:59:44,201
You're aping my skeeze!

1121
00:59:44,203 --> 00:59:46,238
Hold on, man. I'm filming.

1122
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,506
Take a five-minute break, bro?

1123
00:59:47,508 --> 00:59:50,042
Alex, what the heck
are you doing, brah?

1124
00:59:50,044 --> 00:59:51,209
What does it look like
we're doing, man?

1125
00:59:51,211 --> 00:59:52,442
We're showing "Hiya" videos.

1126
00:59:52,444 --> 00:59:55,781
- That's <i>my</i> thing.
- It <i>was</i> your thing.

1127
00:59:55,783 --> 00:59:57,549
Now it's Trent and my's thing.

1128
00:59:57,551 --> 01:00:02,654
Your social media is lame, man.
Your fans are bored.

1129
01:00:02,656 --> 01:00:04,522
You're losing your influence.

1130
01:00:04,524 --> 01:00:07,526
How dare you stick my brand
on some knockoff loser?

1131
01:00:07,528 --> 01:00:09,761
Whoa!

1132
01:00:09,763 --> 01:00:11,263
Sorry, bro.
You're pretty savage.

1133
01:00:11,265 --> 01:00:14,399
He's savage.
The audience is hungry.

1134
01:00:14,401 --> 01:00:16,834
And if your feed isn't supplying
the audience with what it wants,

1135
01:00:16,836 --> 01:00:19,370
someone else's feed will.

1136
01:00:19,372 --> 01:00:22,406
Just give me a couple of days
to just get Roxy

1137
01:00:22,408 --> 01:00:24,308
to go to prom with me,
then I'm back in business, bro.

1138
01:00:24,310 --> 01:00:25,776
You don't have to do all this.

1139
01:00:25,778 --> 01:00:28,281
The feed waits for no man.

1140
01:00:30,283 --> 01:00:33,484
All right, Trent, from the top.

1141
01:00:33,486 --> 01:00:35,654
Let's go. Thunder.

1142
01:00:35,656 --> 01:00:37,421
Hiya!

1143
01:00:40,327 --> 01:00:42,694
You know, when I've left
"Hiya" videos in my dust,

1144
01:00:42,696 --> 01:00:45,564
and I'm making life-changing
like-hack videos,

1145
01:00:45,566 --> 01:00:47,165
you won't be laughing!

1146
01:00:47,167 --> 01:00:49,567
Don't throw your churro at me,
you dick!

1147
01:00:49,569 --> 01:00:52,437
I will throw what I want at
you!

1148
01:00:52,439 --> 01:00:55,540
Dude, have even been reading
the comments, man?

1149
01:00:55,542 --> 01:00:57,411
- No?
- I...

1150
01:01:00,314 --> 01:01:01,580
"Lame"

1151
01:01:01,582 --> 01:01:04,415
"Nerd AF," bro.

1152
01:01:04,417 --> 01:01:08,319
"Kill it before it lays eggs."

1153
01:01:08,321 --> 01:01:10,721
That is how you smoke
a cigarette

1154
01:01:10,723 --> 01:01:14,191
in a bathroom stall.

1155
01:01:14,193 --> 01:01:18,263
Chris. Hiya! Or whatever.

1156
01:01:18,265 --> 01:01:20,832
Now, the LCH bros are wondering,

1157
01:01:20,834 --> 01:01:22,200
who are you taking to prom?

1158
01:01:22,202 --> 01:01:24,269
Well, LCH bros,

1159
01:01:24,271 --> 01:01:26,504
I haven't really figured
that out yet, but...

1160
01:01:26,506 --> 01:01:28,205
No one, huh? Seems like
the rumors are true.

1161
01:01:28,207 --> 01:01:30,642
Well, you heard it here...

1162
01:01:30,644 --> 01:01:33,211
Delete it.

1163
01:01:33,213 --> 01:01:34,546
I would like to know...

1164
01:01:34,548 --> 01:01:38,316
I said, bro, delete it.

1165
01:01:38,318 --> 01:01:41,589
- Do it, bro.
- Yes, yes, yes, okay.

1166
01:01:43,557 --> 01:01:44,555
Fascist.

1167
01:01:44,557 --> 01:01:46,591
You shouldn't film shit
in the bathroom, bro.

1168
01:01:46,593 --> 01:01:48,493
Haven't you heard of
freedom of the press?

1169
01:01:48,495 --> 01:01:50,462
Freedom of the bathroom, dude.

1170
01:01:50,464 --> 01:01:51,796
I'm gonna tell everybody
you're a pervert.

1171
01:01:51,798 --> 01:01:53,230
I am not a pervert.

1172
01:01:53,232 --> 01:01:54,533
I am a content creator.

1173
01:01:54,535 --> 01:01:56,801
And one day
you will work for me.

1174
01:01:56,803 --> 01:01:59,837
Bro, get out of here!

1175
01:01:59,839 --> 01:02:03,707
There's got to be a bunch of
laws against that, right?

1176
01:02:03,709 --> 01:02:05,676
There's got to be.

1177
01:02:05,678 --> 01:02:07,479
Why hasn't there been
any Roxy updates?

1178
01:02:07,481 --> 01:02:09,513
Look, dude, romance takes time.

1179
01:02:09,515 --> 01:02:13,384
Dude, she... she makes me feel
like my heart's on fire,

1180
01:02:13,386 --> 01:02:16,321
like <i>everything's</i> on fire.

1181
01:02:16,323 --> 01:02:17,788
But I've got this reputation
to protect,

1182
01:02:17,790 --> 01:02:21,526
and I got fans to please,
and right or wrong, bro,

1183
01:02:21,528 --> 01:02:25,732
they hate this cultured shit,
so we to wrap it up fast.

1184
01:02:27,667 --> 01:02:29,636
Do you have a projector?

1185
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,774
Roxy!

1186
01:02:36,776 --> 01:02:37,942
It's me!

1187
01:02:37,944 --> 01:02:40,645
- What?
- Hey! Come here.

1188
01:02:40,647 --> 01:02:43,247
Come out. Look.

1189
01:02:43,249 --> 01:02:45,618
- Oh, boy.
- Come see, come on, come out.

1190
01:02:48,955 --> 01:02:50,721
- Come here.
- Okay.

1191
01:02:55,828 --> 01:02:57,761
- Yeah, come here.
- Mm-hmm.

1192
01:02:57,763 --> 01:03:00,365
Okay. Look.

1193
01:03:00,367 --> 01:03:04,002
"The real Chris."

1194
01:03:06,740 --> 01:03:08,609
"Hates pasta.

1195
01:03:10,443 --> 01:03:12,444
Is terrified of snakes."

1196
01:03:12,446 --> 01:03:15,382
- I... I can read. I...
- Okay.

1197
01:03:19,553 --> 01:03:21,019
Just her music, though, like...

1198
01:03:21,021 --> 01:03:23,223
- Right.
- Yeah.

1199
01:03:28,828 --> 01:03:30,861
Francis... it's creative, right?

1200
01:03:30,863 --> 01:03:32,863
- It's cute.
- Thanks.

1201
01:03:32,865 --> 01:03:36,301
"Loves sunrises over lakes."

1202
01:03:40,039 --> 01:03:41,772
That's where I learned
to wakeboard.

1203
01:03:41,774 --> 01:03:44,875
Mm. That's cool.

1204
01:03:47,981 --> 01:03:49,913
That's... that is true.

1205
01:03:49,915 --> 01:03:51,718
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

1206
01:03:55,622 --> 01:03:57,656
It's a good place to start.
Yeah.

1207
01:03:57,658 --> 01:03:59,793
Yeah? Okay, good.

1208
01:04:07,801 --> 01:04:09,600
I, um...

1209
01:04:09,602 --> 01:04:14,071
I really made a mess
the other night.

1210
01:04:14,073 --> 01:04:15,506
I mean, Fukushima was a mess.

1211
01:04:15,508 --> 01:04:18,509
You just kind of
dropped your fake cast.

1212
01:04:18,511 --> 01:04:20,779
Yeah.

1213
01:04:20,781 --> 01:04:22,946
I'm really sorry, Roxy.

1214
01:04:39,399 --> 01:04:41,665
Mm-hmm. Do you want to...?

1215
01:04:41,667 --> 01:04:43,067
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah? Oh.

1216
01:04:43,069 --> 01:04:45,403
- Uh, just... okay.
- Okay.

1217
01:04:45,405 --> 01:04:47,339
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1218
01:05:11,932 --> 01:05:13,934
Shit.

1219
01:05:15,502 --> 01:05:16,734
"Thanks for understanding that

1220
01:05:16,736 --> 01:05:19,703
I didn't want to take it
too far, Chris."

1221
01:05:19,705 --> 01:05:23,908
"Well, you're an incredibly
special girl... person...

1222
01:05:23,910 --> 01:05:27,479
and I'm cool with waiting."

1223
01:05:27,481 --> 01:05:31,116
"Well, thank you for respecting
my girl person-ness."

1224
01:05:31,118 --> 01:05:33,417
"Why are you still up?"

1225
01:05:33,419 --> 01:05:36,520
"Can't sleep. Wanna talk?"

1226
01:05:36,522 --> 01:05:38,691
"With you? Always."

1227
01:05:41,727 --> 01:05:42,894
Cool.

1228
01:05:42,896 --> 01:05:45,696
You have a very weird brain.

1229
01:05:45,698 --> 01:05:47,700
I like to see what's in it.

1230
01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:51,468
So, did you know
about the jellyfish

1231
01:05:51,470 --> 01:05:53,738
that's biologically immortal?

1232
01:05:59,780 --> 01:06:02,479
You know, if...
if that's true...

1233
01:06:17,097 --> 01:06:19,497
...in that tiny change...

1234
01:07:10,584 --> 01:07:13,017
- Hey, Roxy?
- Yeah?

1235
01:07:13,019 --> 01:07:15,720
Is there any possible
reality where

1236
01:07:15,722 --> 01:07:18,823
you might wanna go to prom
with me?

1237
01:07:27,100 --> 01:07:29,167
Yes.

1238
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:35,540
"I'd love to, Chris."

1239
01:08:14,180 --> 01:08:17,247
All right, which brings us
to a Miss Katherine Walker.

1240
01:08:17,249 --> 01:08:19,017
Is that correct?

1241
01:08:19,019 --> 01:08:20,285
Yes, thank you.

1242
01:08:20,287 --> 01:08:22,286
Hi, Ms. Walker. Welcome.

1243
01:08:22,288 --> 01:08:24,221
What will you be playing
for us today?

1244
01:08:24,223 --> 01:08:28,626
Uh, the "Morceau Symphonique"
by Alexandre Guilmant.

1245
01:08:28,628 --> 01:08:33,130
Very ambitious.
Uh, well, give it a shot.

1246
01:08:33,132 --> 01:08:34,967
- Go ahead.
- Okay.

1247
01:08:56,989 --> 01:08:59,924
Uh, can I just try it
one more time?

1248
01:08:59,926 --> 01:09:01,593
Ms. Walker...

1249
01:09:01,595 --> 01:09:04,261
Please?

1250
01:09:04,263 --> 01:09:06,098
No.

1251
01:09:25,819 --> 01:09:28,185
Let's go, let's go!

1252
01:09:28,187 --> 01:09:30,156
Hey!

1253
01:09:33,193 --> 01:09:34,892
I'm in love with her.

1254
01:09:34,894 --> 01:09:37,161
And I'm gonna tell her,
like, tonight.

1255
01:09:37,163 --> 01:09:39,831
I'm so happy for you.

1256
01:09:39,833 --> 01:09:42,966
What?
No, "This is a huge mistake"?

1257
01:09:42,968 --> 01:09:47,371
Or, "This is gonna ruin your
life utterly and completely"?

1258
01:09:47,373 --> 01:09:51,341
No, no, you do you, okay?

1259
01:09:51,343 --> 01:09:53,044
What's wrong with you, man?

1260
01:09:53,046 --> 01:09:56,014
What's wrong with <i>me?</i>
What's wrong with <i>you?</i>

1261
01:09:56,016 --> 01:09:57,982
You forgot about
my audition, Cy.

1262
01:09:57,984 --> 01:10:00,283
- I had to do it alone.
- What?

1263
01:10:00,285 --> 01:10:02,019
Oh, no, no, no. No way.
I didn't.

1264
01:10:02,021 --> 01:10:03,854
W-W-What?

1265
01:10:03,856 --> 01:10:06,424
Clearly, your little
catfishing love triangle

1266
01:10:06,426 --> 01:10:08,893
is your one and only priority.

1267
01:10:08,895 --> 01:10:11,062
And since you're always
so desperate for my advice

1268
01:10:11,064 --> 01:10:16,267
regarding your pathetic charade,
here it is.

1269
01:10:16,269 --> 01:10:19,170
Go ahead, tell her the truth.

1270
01:10:19,172 --> 01:10:20,938
Look at me!

1271
01:10:20,940 --> 01:10:22,706
Either she'll never believe you,

1272
01:10:22,708 --> 01:10:24,876
or she'll be so embarrassed
and mortified

1273
01:10:24,878 --> 01:10:26,911
that you manipulated
and lied to her,

1274
01:10:26,913 --> 01:10:29,883
she'll never believe you anyway.

1275
01:10:32,351 --> 01:10:35,018
God. It's all bullshit!

1276
01:10:35,020 --> 01:10:39,959
You decided to live in this,
like, weird fantasy world and...

1277
01:10:44,763 --> 01:10:47,165
I just thought
you were different.

1278
01:10:47,167 --> 01:10:50,300
Obviously, I was wrong.

1279
01:10:50,302 --> 01:10:53,871
You're a phony, Cy,

1280
01:10:53,873 --> 01:10:55,942
just like everyone else.

1281
01:11:02,481 --> 01:11:04,182
Well, I appreciate
your honesty.

1282
01:11:04,184 --> 01:11:05,750
- My honesty?
- Yeah.

1283
01:11:05,752 --> 01:11:07,285
That's what friends
are for, Cy!

1284
01:11:07,287 --> 01:11:10,087
You know, also, they're supposed
to show up for each other.

1285
01:11:10,089 --> 01:11:12,889
That's kind of an integral
part of things.

1286
01:11:12,891 --> 01:11:15,026
Well, you're just pissed off
because I can't give you

1287
01:11:15,028 --> 01:11:18,795
my undivided attention
like I used to.

1288
01:11:18,797 --> 01:11:20,363
Oh, okay, you know what?

1289
01:11:20,365 --> 01:11:23,067
Good luck telling Roxy
you're in love with her

1290
01:11:23,069 --> 01:11:24,935
or whatever.

1291
01:11:24,937 --> 01:11:27,205
I hope Chris leaves some of
your internal organs intact

1292
01:11:27,207 --> 01:11:30,340
so you can still donate them
after you're dead, you fucker!

1293
01:12:13,953 --> 01:12:15,987
<i>Hey, Chris, uh, this is Cy.</i>

1294
01:12:15,989 --> 01:12:17,554
<i>I'm calling you about Roxy.</i>

1295
01:12:17,556 --> 01:12:20,825
<i>I think I'm the one
who deserves to be with her.</i>

1296
01:12:20,827 --> 01:12:22,794
<i>I think she deserves
to be with me.</i>

1297
01:12:22,796 --> 01:12:26,130
<i>You're not good enough.
You're not... I mean, you're...</i>

1298
01:12:26,132 --> 01:12:28,331
<i>you're not the right person
for her.</i>

1299
01:12:28,333 --> 01:12:29,532
<i>I think I am.</i>

1300
01:12:29,534 --> 01:12:33,537
<i>And I think I'm the one
she needs to be with me</i>

1301
01:12:33,539 --> 01:12:37,140
<i>and not you.</i>

1302
01:12:37,142 --> 01:12:38,142
<i>Uh, sorry.</i>

1303
01:12:38,144 --> 01:12:40,010
<i>I don't know
how else to say it.</i>

1304
01:12:40,012 --> 01:12:41,478
<i>I hope you understand.</i>

1305
01:12:41,480 --> 01:12:44,816
<i>No hard feelings.
I just had to be upfront.</i>

1306
01:12:49,388 --> 01:12:51,288
Love, lust...

1307
01:12:51,290 --> 01:12:56,260
it all comes together
tonight at prom 2018!

1308
01:12:56,262 --> 01:13:00,497
Who's with me?
It's gonna be dooooope!

1309
01:13:00,499 --> 01:13:03,033
Hey. I don't know
what that means,

1310
01:13:03,035 --> 01:13:04,835
but if it involves alcohol
or drugs,

1311
01:13:04,837 --> 01:13:06,237
I <i>will</i> ruin you.

1312
01:13:06,239 --> 01:13:08,038
- Oh, Principal Hendrix.
- Yeah.

1313
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:09,907
Principal Hendrix, the student
body is dying to know,

1314
01:13:09,909 --> 01:13:12,042
what was <i>your</i> prom night like?

1315
01:13:12,044 --> 01:13:14,245
- Picture or video?
- It's video.

1316
01:13:14,247 --> 01:13:17,380
Uh, my prom... captain of
the water polo team

1317
01:13:17,382 --> 01:13:19,916
fingered my urethra
for an hour and a half

1318
01:13:19,918 --> 01:13:21,117
in the back
of my mom's minivan.

1319
01:13:21,119 --> 01:13:24,054
It was a very painful
experience.

1320
01:13:24,056 --> 01:13:27,425
Pay attention in anatomy.

1321
01:13:27,427 --> 01:13:28,925
I love you guys a lot.

1322
01:13:28,927 --> 01:13:32,295
It's gonna be so much fun.

1323
01:13:32,297 --> 01:13:36,068
Is that something that's,
like, easy to get wrong, or...?

1324
01:13:47,881 --> 01:13:51,448
I'm going to tell her
everything.

1325
01:13:51,450 --> 01:13:53,084
I want to show you something.

1326
01:13:53,086 --> 01:13:54,618
Come with me.
It'll be quick.

1327
01:13:54,620 --> 01:13:58,555
Just something in my garage
that I think you'll like.

1328
01:13:58,557 --> 01:14:00,392
This way here, buddy.

1329
01:14:03,495 --> 01:14:05,161
Come here, come here, come here,
yeah, yeah.

1330
01:14:05,163 --> 01:14:06,997
There's something back here.
Just over here.

1331
01:14:06,999 --> 01:14:09,599
No, no, no, no, no!
Aah! Aah!

1332
01:14:09,601 --> 01:14:10,968
- Give me your phone, bro.
- Dude!

1333
01:14:10,970 --> 01:14:12,269
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1334
01:14:12,271 --> 01:14:14,037
I may not be right
for her, like you said,

1335
01:14:14,039 --> 01:14:15,505
but I can't have you
screw up tonight, okay?

1336
01:14:15,507 --> 01:14:17,041
I'm not a bad guy, all right?

1337
01:14:17,043 --> 01:14:20,377
It's just, I need this.
Dinner's on me, bro.

1338
01:14:20,379 --> 01:14:22,179
But you took my phone.

1339
01:14:22,181 --> 01:14:23,980
I don't want you calling
anybody.

1340
01:14:23,982 --> 01:14:26,416
No, no, no, no, no, no!

1341
01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:29,319
Ugh! Ugh!

1342
01:14:31,123 --> 01:14:32,188
Damn it!

1343
01:15:27,245 --> 01:15:28,545
Come on, you ancient

1344
01:15:28,547 --> 01:15:32,049
asshole computer.

1345
01:15:32,051 --> 01:15:33,584
Oh, my God.

1346
01:15:33,586 --> 01:15:35,251
All right, okay.

1347
01:15:35,253 --> 01:15:38,221
Uh, there's got to be something,
got to be something.

1348
01:15:38,223 --> 01:15:42,059
- <i>You've got mail!</i>
- How pleasant.

1349
01:15:42,061 --> 01:15:45,328
Man, this computer's old.
All right.

1350
01:15:45,330 --> 01:15:47,266
Okay.

1351
01:16:14,026 --> 01:16:16,559
You freak!

1352
01:16:16,561 --> 01:16:19,064
Oh, shit.

1353
01:16:20,766 --> 01:16:23,634
Well...

1354
01:16:23,636 --> 01:16:25,372
"JK."

1355
01:16:55,534 --> 01:16:57,369
Hello?

1356
01:16:59,404 --> 01:17:01,407
Who is this?

1357
01:17:03,275 --> 01:17:05,276
All right, listen,
you sick asshole,

1358
01:17:05,278 --> 01:17:08,411
I don't know
how you got my number.

1359
01:17:08,413 --> 01:17:10,281
Wait. Where?

1360
01:17:15,154 --> 01:17:18,154
God!

1361
01:17:18,156 --> 01:17:19,790
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.

1362
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,258
- Dude.
- Thank you so much.

1363
01:17:21,260 --> 01:17:22,593
- You saved me.
- Okay, you want to tell me

1364
01:17:22,595 --> 01:17:24,828
why the hell you were locked
in Chris's garage?

1365
01:17:24,830 --> 01:17:26,397
It's actually...
it's a really long story,

1366
01:17:26,399 --> 01:17:29,300
but I need to get to prom.
Can you please drive me?

1367
01:17:29,302 --> 01:17:31,469
Like, look,
you've been an amazing friend,

1368
01:17:31,471 --> 01:17:33,304
and I know
I've been really shitty.

1369
01:17:33,306 --> 01:17:34,638
- Yeah.
- And I'm really sorry.

1370
01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:37,407
And are you still mad at me?

1371
01:17:37,409 --> 01:17:41,211
I mean, do you think that
I would just snap out of it?

1372
01:17:41,213 --> 01:17:44,617
Yes, I am still mad.
You hurt my feelings.

1373
01:17:46,319 --> 01:17:48,318
You knew how important
that audition was.

1374
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:49,886
Yeah, I know.
And I'm really, really, really,

1375
01:17:49,888 --> 01:17:51,455
really, really, really,
really sorry.

1376
01:17:51,457 --> 01:17:53,523
And I fucking suck
and I'm terrible

1377
01:17:53,525 --> 01:17:55,425
and everything bad,
and you every right

1378
01:17:55,427 --> 01:17:57,193
to be mad at me,
and I'm fucking awful,

1379
01:17:57,195 --> 01:17:59,863
and I'm really, really sorry.

1380
01:17:59,865 --> 01:18:03,533
Okay, okay.

1381
01:18:03,535 --> 01:18:06,202
It's fine.
They said I can audition again.

1382
01:18:06,204 --> 01:18:08,205
My mom, like...

1383
01:18:08,207 --> 01:18:10,273
my mom told them
that I have diabetes

1384
01:18:10,275 --> 01:18:12,475
and I was, like, low on insulin.

1385
01:18:12,477 --> 01:18:14,812
- Oh, my God. That's great.
- Yeah.

1386
01:18:14,814 --> 01:18:17,281
I promise
I'll be there this time.

1387
01:18:17,283 --> 01:18:19,817
Hey, there, girls.

1388
01:18:19,819 --> 01:18:23,386
Oh, I thought you were
two girls.

1389
01:18:23,388 --> 01:18:26,189
Oh, well, that's cool.
I'm down.

1390
01:18:26,191 --> 01:18:28,392
She's 16.

1391
01:18:28,394 --> 01:18:30,161
So you might actually
want to leave

1392
01:18:30,163 --> 01:18:32,662
before the guy
from "Dateline" comes.

1393
01:18:32,664 --> 01:18:36,901
Is it because I don't look like
my profile picture?

1394
01:18:36,903 --> 01:18:39,603
Hey, lady.

1395
01:19:03,930 --> 01:19:06,529
So, you don't shave
your armpits?

1396
01:19:06,531 --> 01:19:07,965
I feel like
if you don't have to,

1397
01:19:07,967 --> 01:19:10,434
I shouldn't have to shave them,
mm-hmm.

1398
01:19:10,436 --> 01:19:12,769
- Serious? That's... yes.
- Yeah.

1399
01:19:12,771 --> 01:19:15,973
I just want you to know
I think it's really hot.

1400
01:19:18,711 --> 01:19:19,977
Whoa, hey, hey.

1401
01:19:19,979 --> 01:19:21,879
Suit and tie
for the gentleman only.

1402
01:19:21,881 --> 01:19:23,413
Come on, man.

1403
01:19:23,415 --> 01:19:25,782
Hey, boner boy.

1404
01:19:25,784 --> 01:19:27,586
Ugh.

1405
01:19:28,954 --> 01:19:31,854
Hello! Hi, guys.

1406
01:19:31,856 --> 01:19:33,523
So, most of you
don't know this,

1407
01:19:33,525 --> 01:19:36,492
but I'm not just
Principal Hendrix.

1408
01:19:36,494 --> 01:19:41,631
I'm also quite an accomplished
singer/songwriter.

1409
01:19:43,836 --> 01:19:46,002
Thank you.

1410
01:19:52,311 --> 01:19:55,345
♪ Ghosts walk through
the hallway ♪

1411
01:19:55,347 --> 01:19:58,948
♪ Go ahead and die ♪

1412
01:19:58,950 --> 01:20:02,286
♪ I live off silence and dark ♪

1413
01:20:02,288 --> 01:20:06,991
♪ I'll grow
a super human heart ♪

1414
01:20:06,993 --> 01:20:10,327
♪ I don't need anything ♪

1415
01:20:10,329 --> 01:20:13,730
♪ I don't need anyone ♪

1416
01:20:13,732 --> 01:20:16,599
♪ I don't need you ♪

1417
01:20:16,601 --> 01:20:18,835
♪ I'll take your side ♪

1418
01:20:18,837 --> 01:20:20,437
Hey, I got a love emergency.

1419
01:20:20,439 --> 01:20:21,738
There's a girl in there that
should be with me,

1420
01:20:21,740 --> 01:20:23,040
but she's with a guy,
the wrong guy.

1421
01:20:23,042 --> 01:20:25,341
- Chris in there with Roxy.
- Exactly.

1422
01:20:25,343 --> 01:20:27,010
I need your tux.
I'm begging you.

1423
01:20:27,012 --> 01:20:29,380
♪ Tenderness for no one ♪

1424
01:20:29,382 --> 01:20:34,852
♪ Ever, I don't need anything ♪

1425
01:20:34,854 --> 01:20:38,022
♪ I don't need anyone ♪

1426
01:20:38,024 --> 01:20:41,524
♪ I don't need anything ♪

1427
01:20:41,526 --> 01:20:44,060
♪ I don't need you ♪

1428
01:20:44,062 --> 01:20:47,598
♪ I don't need anything ♪

1429
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:50,501
♪ I don't need anyone ♪

1430
01:20:50,503 --> 01:20:54,304
♪ I don't need anything ♪

1431
01:20:54,306 --> 01:20:57,573
♪ I don't need you ♪

1432
01:21:03,315 --> 01:21:06,684
Use condoms tonight!
Whoo!

1433
01:21:55,668 --> 01:21:58,568
Hey, could you cut the music?
Can you please cut the music?

1434
01:21:58,570 --> 01:22:01,371
Please. Hey, hello?

1435
01:22:01,373 --> 01:22:02,740
Hey, can you cut the music.

1436
01:22:02,742 --> 01:22:04,474
Thank you.

1437
01:22:04,476 --> 01:22:07,877
Hi. Hello, everyone, look at me,
please. Hello.

1438
01:22:07,879 --> 01:22:09,813
- Oh, shit.
- This isn't really easy to say,

1439
01:22:09,815 --> 01:22:11,648
- but, um...
- I'll be right back.

1440
01:22:11,650 --> 01:22:14,385
Over the last month,
I've actually been pretending

1441
01:22:14,387 --> 01:22:16,719
to be Chris Newton online.

1442
01:22:16,721 --> 01:22:18,554
He's actually been
paying me to do this.

1443
01:22:18,556 --> 01:22:21,157
So that way, he'd impress
Roxy enough

1444
01:22:21,159 --> 01:22:23,794
that she'd go to prom with him.

1445
01:22:23,796 --> 01:22:25,661
Hey, Roxy.

1446
01:22:25,663 --> 01:22:26,964
Yeah, it's actually been me

1447
01:22:26,966 --> 01:22:28,932
you been liking
this whole time, and, uh,

1448
01:22:28,934 --> 01:22:32,469
well, I just really wanted
to tell you that I like you.

1449
01:22:32,471 --> 01:22:34,071
How do you guys believe
this clown?!

1450
01:22:34,073 --> 01:22:36,740
The nerd who went
viral for this?

1451
01:22:37,743 --> 01:22:41,478
- Boner boy!
- Boner boy, right?

1452
01:22:41,480 --> 01:22:43,580
Boner boy! Boner boy!

1453
01:22:43,582 --> 01:22:46,082
Shut up. Shut up. Hey.
I get it. All right?

1454
01:22:46,084 --> 01:22:48,585
I've lived it. It... it...
it sucks.

1455
01:22:48,587 --> 01:22:49,952
It fucking sucks, all right?

1456
01:22:49,954 --> 01:22:53,791
It sucks to be humiliated,
and it sucks to be flawed

1457
01:22:53,793 --> 01:22:57,760
and awkward and weird
in this perfect goddamn world.

1458
01:22:57,762 --> 01:22:59,996
But you know what?
I would rather be weird,

1459
01:22:59,998 --> 01:23:03,901
lame, and awkward than live
a superficial lie, all right?

1460
01:23:03,903 --> 01:23:06,937
Also, I know I've never
gone down on a woman before,

1461
01:23:06,939 --> 01:23:10,974
but I have no doubt that
I'd be fantastic at it.

1462
01:23:12,211 --> 01:23:13,710
We'll see.

1463
01:23:13,712 --> 01:23:17,781
Fuck off, man. Fuck this video.

1464
01:23:17,783 --> 01:23:19,148
Oh, hey, Roxy.

1465
01:23:19,150 --> 01:23:21,984
Hey.
You both lied to me.

1466
01:23:21,986 --> 01:23:23,754
Well, I mean, I was really like

1467
01:23:23,756 --> 01:23:25,188
his social media
image consultant.

1468
01:23:25,190 --> 01:23:27,491
Yeah, Roxy,
like celebrities have.

1469
01:23:27,493 --> 01:23:28,858
Yeah.

1470
01:23:30,061 --> 01:23:32,629
- Shit!
- Oh.

1471
01:23:32,631 --> 01:23:35,198
Yeah, you really made
the right choice there.

1472
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,067
Is your hand okay?

1473
01:23:37,069 --> 01:23:39,670
- Yeah, no, it's fine.
- Aah!

1474
01:23:41,507 --> 01:23:43,240
- Jesus.
- Your glasses.

1475
01:23:43,242 --> 01:23:46,712
- Thank you.
- No problem.

1476
01:23:48,780 --> 01:23:50,913
Uh, you think it's broke?

1477
01:23:50,915 --> 01:23:52,582
I don't know, man.

1478
01:23:52,584 --> 01:23:54,984
- Dude, don't move it like that.
- I'm sorry.

1479
01:23:54,986 --> 01:23:57,824
- All right, dude, it's in.
- Dude, I'm sorry.

1480
01:24:00,258 --> 01:24:01,724
Let's hide.

1481
01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:03,893
- No, we got it.
- Yeah.

1482
01:24:05,230 --> 01:24:06,996
- Hey.
- Hi.

1483
01:24:06,998 --> 01:24:08,965
I... I, um...

1484
01:24:08,967 --> 01:24:13,002
I just... I don't know
any girls like you at all

1485
01:24:13,004 --> 01:24:14,705
because you...

1486
01:24:14,707 --> 01:24:16,974
You make me nervous and scared,

1487
01:24:16,976 --> 01:24:21,111
and I feel like you're
judging me but not judging me.

1488
01:24:21,113 --> 01:24:24,615
- Mm-hmm.
- And when you look at me

1489
01:24:24,617 --> 01:24:27,584
like this, I feel like, ugh,

1490
01:24:27,586 --> 01:24:29,719
like, I feel like
you can see me.

1491
01:24:29,721 --> 01:24:30,953
Like I can't see me.

1492
01:24:30,955 --> 01:24:35,992
And I feel like
like a naked boy.

1493
01:24:35,994 --> 01:24:41,800
But... but you make me you make
me want to be like a naked man.

1494
01:24:42,834 --> 01:24:44,134
Right?

1495
01:24:44,136 --> 01:24:46,638
Mm-hmm.

1496
01:24:48,908 --> 01:24:50,607
What are those?

1497
01:24:50,609 --> 01:24:53,309
- Frozen peas.
- Oh.

1498
01:24:53,311 --> 01:24:55,144
Not for me?

1499
01:24:55,146 --> 01:24:58,117
- Not for you.
- Okay.

1500
01:24:58,816 --> 01:25:02,618
I am so sorry
for embarrassing you.

1501
01:25:02,620 --> 01:25:05,056
And I just...

1502
01:25:14,766 --> 01:25:17,000
You're not a bad guy.

1503
01:25:17,002 --> 01:25:20,036
You just...

1504
01:25:20,038 --> 01:25:24,575
You're actually quite
interesting and odd.

1505
01:25:24,577 --> 01:25:26,678
Just be you.

1506
01:25:28,780 --> 01:25:31,113
Can you see on my hand that
I'd like to give you

1507
01:25:31,115 --> 01:25:33,983
a ride home?

1508
01:25:33,985 --> 01:25:35,919
Mm.

1509
01:25:35,921 --> 01:25:37,054
Please.

1510
01:25:37,056 --> 01:25:39,590
You may like me
because I punched you.

1511
01:25:41,293 --> 01:25:43,794
I mean, it's pretty hot.

1512
01:25:43,796 --> 01:25:46,228
Mm-hmm.

1513
01:25:46,230 --> 01:25:48,066
Yeah.

1514
01:26:03,082 --> 01:26:05,017
Brought you these.

1515
01:26:06,685 --> 01:26:09,318
Pretty sure they expired
in the '90s, but...

1516
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:11,957
you can still use them.

1517
01:26:16,695 --> 01:26:18,127
Well, at least your
new viral video

1518
01:26:18,129 --> 01:26:21,965
might erase your previous one
from pop culture.

1519
01:26:21,967 --> 01:26:24,901
"Rad chick clobbers two tools."

1520
01:26:24,903 --> 01:26:28,772
So only witness protection
program embarrassing.

1521
01:26:28,774 --> 01:26:31,644
I can handle that.

1522
01:26:41,052 --> 01:26:46,255
So I know what I did
was really stupid,

1523
01:26:46,257 --> 01:26:51,728
and you probably don't ever want
to see me again, but...

1524
01:26:51,730 --> 01:26:53,863
I'm crazy for you, Roxy.

1525
01:26:53,865 --> 01:26:57,000
Like, if you if you have any
room left in your heart

1526
01:26:57,002 --> 01:27:00,136
for forgiveness, I'd do anything
for a second chance.

1527
01:27:00,138 --> 01:27:02,038
Stop.

1528
01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:04,875
You're just saying
what you think you should say.

1529
01:27:04,877 --> 01:27:06,943
I don't even think
you know if it's true.

1530
01:27:06,945 --> 01:27:09,379
No, it's you. I want you.

1531
01:27:09,381 --> 01:27:11,848
I'm not a trophy.

1532
01:27:11,850 --> 01:27:15,184
Look, you don't... you don't
even really know me.

1533
01:27:15,186 --> 01:27:20,659
You just kind of made me who you
wanted me to be in your head.

1534
01:27:21,392 --> 01:27:25,996
Look, is is way more beautiful
to watch a rhinoceros

1535
01:27:25,998 --> 01:27:29,935
be a rhinoceros
that try to be an elephant.

1536
01:27:34,873 --> 01:27:37,243
What?
What are you thinking?

1537
01:27:38,910 --> 01:27:40,812
Like...

1538
01:27:41,180 --> 01:27:43,982
- Uh...
- Okay.

1539
01:28:35,167 --> 01:28:36,366
Oh!

1540
01:28:56,954 --> 01:29:00,158
Oh, Kat. Whew. Hey.

1541
01:29:03,128 --> 01:29:05,261
What happened?

1542
01:29:05,263 --> 01:29:07,298
A lot.

1543
01:29:08,867 --> 01:29:10,267
I so wish I told you

1544
01:29:10,269 --> 01:29:12,268
so it wasn't such
a true thing right now.

1545
01:29:12,270 --> 01:29:14,403
Yeah, I was I was looking
all over for you,

1546
01:29:14,405 --> 01:29:16,939
but not a phone or a car.

1547
01:29:16,941 --> 01:29:19,175
It's actually really
fucking difficult.

1548
01:29:19,177 --> 01:29:22,213
I don't know how you used
to do it, like, at all.

1549
01:29:29,187 --> 01:29:31,420
Let me see.

1550
01:29:46,404 --> 01:29:49,906
I had become so deluded
from my whacked out,

1551
01:29:49,908 --> 01:29:52,309
hormone addled brain
that I've been missing

1552
01:29:52,311 --> 01:29:54,077
this fantastic reality,

1553
01:29:54,079 --> 01:29:58,581
like, this golden sunset
like, right here, like...

1554
01:29:58,583 --> 01:30:00,250
- Shut up.
- What?

1555
01:30:00,252 --> 01:30:02,352
Shut up.

1556
01:30:02,354 --> 01:30:03,987
But... but I making
my big speech.

1557
01:30:03,989 --> 01:30:06,223
Okay, look, look.

1558
01:30:06,225 --> 01:30:08,058
I only have 15 minutes
until my parents are going

1559
01:30:08,060 --> 01:30:09,593
to freak if I'm not home.

1560
01:30:09,595 --> 01:30:14,930
So do you want to keep acting
like a stupid teen movie scene,

1561
01:30:14,932 --> 01:30:16,465
or do you want to make out
some more?

1562
01:30:16,467 --> 01:30:18,468
I want to make out some more.

1563
01:30:18,470 --> 01:30:21,470
- For real?
- For real.

1564
01:31:12,123 --> 01:31:13,523
Hey, guys,
didn't see you there.

1565
01:31:13,525 --> 01:31:14,691
It's Kat.

1566
01:31:14,693 --> 01:31:17,493
Uh, welcome to my
updated natural,

1567
01:31:17,495 --> 01:31:19,595
everyday makeup tutorial.

1568
01:31:19,597 --> 01:31:21,497
A staple thing is this thing.

1569
01:31:21,499 --> 01:31:22,666
It's called lipstick.

1570
01:31:22,668 --> 01:31:25,237
Like, the thicker, the better.

1571
01:31:26,570 --> 01:31:28,404
Oh, my God, this looks so good.

1572
01:31:28,406 --> 01:31:31,041
Hey, guys. Cy here.

1573
01:31:31,043 --> 01:31:36,011
I'm currently trying out
some cool Japanese candy.

1574
01:31:36,013 --> 01:31:40,452
This first one here
is called High Soft.

1575
01:31:43,622 --> 01:31:46,458
All right.

1576
01:31:46,725 --> 01:31:48,425
Hm.

1577
01:31:48,427 --> 01:31:50,327
Hey, it's Roxy.

1578
01:31:50,329 --> 01:31:53,196
Today, I'm going to show you
some vintage clothes.

1579
01:31:53,198 --> 01:31:55,298
The reason I love vintage
clothes is that I feel like

1580
01:31:55,300 --> 01:31:57,567
you get to, like, step
into somebody else's shoes

1581
01:31:57,569 --> 01:32:00,269
for the day, you know, and you
get to pretend to be them.

1582
01:32:00,271 --> 01:32:02,205
Sometimes I name these people.

1583
01:32:02,207 --> 01:32:04,674
Sometimes I walk around
trying to be these people

1584
01:32:04,676 --> 01:32:07,212
So, yeah, let me
show you some stuff.

1585
01:32:08,446 --> 01:32:10,080
Wha-ha!

1586
01:32:10,082 --> 01:32:14,017
Hi-hi! Yah!

1587
01:32:14,019 --> 01:32:16,055
Hi-yah!

1588
01:32:17,388 --> 01:32:22,658
I like it. It's like
basically caramel.

1589
01:32:22,660 --> 01:32:24,327
And I like caramel.

1590
01:32:24,329 --> 01:32:26,062
I learned this trick
from my mom.

1591
01:32:26,064 --> 01:32:28,163
Put this on your eyebrows,

1592
01:32:28,165 --> 01:32:30,733
and it just, like, darkens
them a little bit.

1593
01:32:30,735 --> 01:32:34,504
And if you want to go for that,
like Frida Kahlo look,

1594
01:32:34,506 --> 01:32:36,372
you just...

1595
01:32:36,374 --> 01:32:37,474
Yeah.

1596
01:32:37,476 --> 01:32:40,443
I love wearing the shirt.
I wear it with everything.

1597
01:32:40,445 --> 01:32:43,779
But I also wear with...
let's see if you can see this.

1598
01:32:43,781 --> 01:32:47,384
With these pants.
You kind of get the gist.

1599
01:32:47,386 --> 01:32:53,089
When I wear it, I feel like
an old school executive.

1600
01:32:53,091 --> 01:32:56,459
I feel like I can go
and work at a desk

1601
01:32:56,461 --> 01:33:00,130
and tell the boys what to do,
and my name is Sarah.

1602
01:33:00,132 --> 01:33:01,764
I don't know why,
but when I put this on,

1603
01:33:01,766 --> 01:33:04,067
I feel like Sarah
owned this shirt.

1604
01:33:04,069 --> 01:33:06,603
Ha! Hi-yah!

1605
01:33:06,605 --> 01:33:08,237
Ooh! Ahh!

1606
01:33:08,239 --> 01:33:12,474
Second candy I got is
just called Premium Milk Candy.

1607
01:33:12,476 --> 01:33:14,376
Approximation of
what it will look like.

1608
01:33:14,378 --> 01:33:17,046
I decided I'm going
to go on with a darker shade.

1609
01:33:17,048 --> 01:33:19,115
So I'm gonna go on
with this one right here.

1610
01:33:19,117 --> 01:33:21,785
This shade is called
"I Killed My Mom."

1611
01:33:21,787 --> 01:33:23,353
I use this one every day.

1612
01:33:23,355 --> 01:33:26,255
Just gives me
that really nice kind of

1613
01:33:26,257 --> 01:33:28,291
"just punched in the face" look.

1614
01:33:28,293 --> 01:33:30,393
So let me show you
some more cool shit.

1615
01:33:30,395 --> 01:33:32,661
I'm using this shade here.

1616
01:33:32,663 --> 01:33:35,465
It's called "starvation."

1617
01:33:35,467 --> 01:33:37,267
Not sure if I'm supposed to
suck on this

1618
01:33:37,269 --> 01:33:38,835
of if I can bite into it.

1619
01:33:38,837 --> 01:33:43,175
Ha! Ha! Yah! Ha!

1620
01:33:47,745 --> 01:33:51,514
Aaaaah! Yah!

1621
01:33:51,516 --> 01:33:53,349
Yeah, I think this
is a sucking candy.

1622
01:33:53,351 --> 01:33:56,118
You just want to put
a little bit of your lipstick

1623
01:33:56,120 --> 01:34:00,156
on your cheeks, and it actually
makes it look more natural

1624
01:34:00,158 --> 01:34:02,591
because it's the same shade
as your lips.

1625
01:34:02,593 --> 01:34:06,563
I would say that you guys
only need like $300 or $400

1626
01:34:06,565 --> 01:34:08,430
to achieve this look.

1627
01:34:08,432 --> 01:34:11,334
Oh, my God, my cheekbones
are snatched.

1628
01:34:15,670 --> 01:34:18,639
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