1
00:00:01,630 --> 00:00:03,292
America.

2
00:00:03,392 --> 00:00:04,813
God took extra care
when he made

3
00:00:04,913 --> 00:00:07,016
this country,
didn't he, Benny?

4
00:00:07,116 --> 00:00:09,138
You're talking about
the endless expanse of dirt

5
00:00:09,238 --> 00:00:11,240
in front of us?

6
00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:14,183
Ah, it's not just dirt.

7
00:00:14,283 --> 00:00:15,424
Look, there's a big rock.

8
00:00:15,524 --> 00:00:17,667
And a medium-sized rock.
That's fun.

9
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,470
Okay, Rev, this might be
a good time to remind you

10
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,151
that the only reason
I'm taking you

11
00:00:22,251 --> 00:00:23,312
and your friends
to Oregon

12
00:00:23,412 --> 00:00:24,634
is to avoid
swinging from a noose.

13
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:27,237
And I'm definitely
not here to have fun. Got it?

14
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:30,600
Got it. No fun
for the scary outlaw man.

15
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:32,442
[eagle screeches]
Oh, my gosh, Benny,
a bald eagle!

16
00:00:32,542 --> 00:00:36,006
Wow! No wonder it became
the symbol of America.

17
00:00:36,106 --> 00:00:37,327
I mean,
look at its strength,

18
00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:40,130
its majesty.
Ah, certainly this

19
00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:41,652
is an auspicious sign
for our--

20
00:00:41,752 --> 00:00:43,754
- [gunshot]
- Oh!

21
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:49,059
Why?

22
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,582
- [weak eagle squawk]
- You just killed America.

23
00:00:51,682 --> 00:00:52,503
[cow moos]

24
00:00:52,603 --> 00:00:55,486
[theme music playing]

25
00:01:22,754 --> 00:01:25,657
[groans] Another long day
on the trail.

26
00:01:25,757 --> 00:01:27,059
You thought today was tough,

27
00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:29,101
tomorrow we're gonna be
fording our first river,

28
00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:30,382
and it ain't
gonna be pretty.

29
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:32,184
Aside from
the natural beauty,

30
00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:33,866
which will be stunning.

31
00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:36,068
Wait, bup-bup-bup!

32
00:01:36,168 --> 00:01:37,590
Let's not forget
about grace, though.

33
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:40,313
- Yep.
- [all groan]

34
00:01:40,413 --> 00:01:42,034
Bless us, oh Lord,
and these thy gifts

35
00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:43,596
which we are about
to receive

36
00:01:43,696 --> 00:01:45,698
- through thy bounty.
- Am--

37
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:48,882
You've given us
so many gifts,

38
00:01:48,982 --> 00:01:51,564
oh Lord,
too numerous to count.

39
00:01:51,664 --> 00:01:52,525
But I'll try.

40
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,688
One, the rolling hills.

41
00:01:54,788 --> 00:01:57,130
Two, the beautiful sky.

42
00:01:57,230 --> 00:01:59,653
Three, trees.

43
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,376
Just trees, in general,
are fantastic.

44
00:02:02,476 --> 00:02:04,698
Boo!
I'll take it from here.

45
00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:06,260
Cram it in, shit it out.

46
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,582
That's what food
is all about. Amen.

47
00:02:08,682 --> 00:02:10,264
[laughter]

48
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,986
That was really not
a proper grace.

49
00:02:12,086 --> 00:02:13,707
Hey, Rev.
Here's a grace for you.

50
00:02:13,807 --> 00:02:14,989
- [farts]
- Oh!

51
00:02:15,089 --> 00:02:16,711
[laughter]

52
00:02:16,811 --> 00:02:18,713
Unbelievable.

53
00:02:18,813 --> 00:02:19,674
Benny, can I have a word?

54
00:02:19,774 --> 00:02:20,835
- [crunches loudly]
- Oh, wow.

55
00:02:20,935 --> 00:02:22,637
Is that the bald eagle
you shot?
You bet.

56
00:02:22,737 --> 00:02:25,119
Nothing hits the spot after
a hard day on the trail

57
00:02:25,219 --> 00:02:27,161
like a roasted baldie.
You want some?

58
00:02:27,261 --> 00:02:28,763
- No, no thank you.
- Your loss.

59
00:02:28,863 --> 00:02:30,084
Face is the best part.

60
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,247
[loud crunch]
Look, Benny, I know

61
00:02:32,347 --> 00:02:33,688
you come from
a bandit background,

62
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,690
and therefore have
different values

63
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:36,851
from the rest of us.
[coughs, spits]

64
00:02:36,951 --> 00:02:38,133
[metallic clang]

65
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,675
A bullet was lodged
in my windpipe.

66
00:02:41,636 --> 00:02:42,698
These people
look up to you,

67
00:02:42,798 --> 00:02:45,340
for reasons I do not
completely understand.

68
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,742
I think if you
were to exhibit

69
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:49,264
just the smallest fraction
of moral leadership,

70
00:02:49,364 --> 00:02:50,946
they would all follow suit.

71
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,027
Yeah, I'm not gonna
do that.

72
00:02:52,127 --> 00:02:53,589
[scoffs] Why?

73
00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:56,752
Because there is no morality
on the trail.

74
00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:58,474
You think we're gonna
cross that river tomorrow

75
00:02:58,574 --> 00:02:59,835
by minding our Ps and Qs?

76
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:01,757
The only morality out here

77
00:03:01,857 --> 00:03:03,759
is either kill or be killed.

78
00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:06,042
[drunkenly]
You said it, Benny.

79
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,605
It's either kill
or be killed.

80
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,567
Levi, are you drunk?

81
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:13,089
Maybe I am,
maybe I ain't.

82
00:03:13,189 --> 00:03:16,573
Who are you, my sponsor?
[glass shatters]

83
00:03:16,673 --> 00:03:18,675
He's a good kid.

84
00:03:19,276 --> 00:03:21,738
♪♪♪♪♪♪

85
00:03:21,838 --> 00:03:23,620
All right, folks.

86
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,543
Looks like the river's
deeper than we expected,

87
00:03:26,643 --> 00:03:28,465
so we're gonna float
the wagons across.

88
00:03:28,565 --> 00:03:29,747
So let's caulk 'em tight.

89
00:03:29,847 --> 00:03:31,949
Oh, that's
a fine-looking caulk

90
00:03:32,049 --> 00:03:33,070
you got there, William.

91
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,351
- [chuckles]
- Ooh, John.

92
00:03:34,451 --> 00:03:36,634
You've got a big,
beautiful caulk, too.

93
00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:38,636
Your wife's a lucky woman.

94
00:03:38,736 --> 00:03:40,638
[both chuckle]

95
00:03:40,738 --> 00:03:41,919
Oh, no.

96
00:03:42,019 --> 00:03:43,961
Looks like the reverend
has a little baby caulk.

97
00:03:44,061 --> 00:03:46,044
[laughter]

98
00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:48,126
Ha, ha, ha.
Such a clever wordsmith,

99
00:03:48,226 --> 00:03:49,928
making a pun involving
the word "caulk."

100
00:03:50,028 --> 00:03:52,851
Somebody's got
tiny caulk energy.

101
00:03:52,951 --> 00:03:54,532
[laughter]

102
00:03:54,632 --> 00:03:56,054
I'm getting so sick
of Benny.

103
00:03:56,154 --> 00:03:57,335
He's turning everyone
into a bunch

104
00:03:57,435 --> 00:03:59,017
of nasty brutes,
just like him.

105
00:03:59,117 --> 00:04:01,299
Oh, relax.
They're just having fun.

106
00:04:01,399 --> 00:04:03,862
I mean, come on! We're about
to ford a frickin' river.

107
00:04:03,962 --> 00:04:05,183
How cool is that?

108
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,625
Yeah, I would say less cool
and more terrifying,

109
00:04:06,725 --> 00:04:08,587
given the high percentage
chance that we die.

110
00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:09,708
You're looking at it
all wrong.

111
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:12,351
This is classic Oregon Trail.
Get hyped.

112
00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:14,593
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Excuse me?

113
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,715
Mr. Teen?
Does fording the river

114
00:04:16,815 --> 00:04:18,237
involve me getting wet?

115
00:04:18,337 --> 00:04:19,719
- Uh, probably.
- No.

116
00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:21,400
There's gotta be another way
to get across.

117
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,683
Well, there's a ferry boat
a few miles down the road,

118
00:04:23,783 --> 00:04:25,725
but that's just for suckers
willing to pay a fortune.

119
00:04:25,825 --> 00:04:28,448
Perhaps you haven't
heard, then--I'm rich.

120
00:04:28,548 --> 00:04:31,291
I like that it's expensive.
I get off on that.

121
00:04:31,391 --> 00:04:33,373
Are you sure, dear? 'Cause
I was really looking forward

122
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,694
to fording the river
with everyone.

123
00:04:34,794 --> 00:04:37,097
Don't be silly.
You want to go on the ferry

124
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:39,199
with the rich,
better people.

125
00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:42,963
Guess I'll see you
on the other side.
Right.

126
00:04:44,925 --> 00:04:46,226
They have
a nice relationship.

127
00:04:46,326 --> 00:04:47,788
Benny,
we got a problem.

128
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,590
Can't get
the wagons to float.

129
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,632
We moved some things around,
but we're still too heavy.

130
00:04:51,732 --> 00:04:53,233
Don't worry. I've got
a simple solution.

131
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,275
I knew you would.

132
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:55,756
Just gotta leave
somebody behind.

133
00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:56,997
Leave somebody behind?

134
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,679
No, we can't do that.
That's a death sentence.

135
00:04:58,779 --> 00:05:01,242
Well, yeah, it'd be a bummer
for the one guy,

136
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,604
but the rest of us get
to float across, no problem.

137
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,206
Yeah, sure, of course
you would think of it

138
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,247
like that,
but the rest of us

139
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,208
will never
go along with that.

140
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,210
I'll take it from here, Rev.

141
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,212
I believe I can speak
for everybody here

142
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,053
when I say, uh...

143
00:05:12,153 --> 00:05:12,974
not it!

144
00:05:13,074 --> 00:05:14,776
ALL: Not it!

145
00:05:14,876 --> 00:05:15,937
- Seriously?
- MAN: Not it!

146
00:05:16,037 --> 00:05:17,178
Rev, you didn't say
"not it."

147
00:05:17,278 --> 00:05:18,940
[scoffs]

148
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,042
Too late.

149
00:05:23,325 --> 00:05:24,326
All right, the best way
to handle this

150
00:05:24,406 --> 00:05:26,108
is to leave
the weakest link behind.

151
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,709
So all we gotta do
is figure out

152
00:05:27,809 --> 00:05:30,072
which one of you brings
the least to the table.

153
00:05:30,172 --> 00:05:31,673
Are you out of your mind?

154
00:05:31,773 --> 00:05:33,555
You can't put a value
on human life.

155
00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:36,158
Sure you can.
I'm a 10, you're a 6,

156
00:05:36,258 --> 00:05:38,561
John's a 6,
George is a 6.

157
00:05:38,661 --> 00:05:40,923
Honestly, I'm seeing
a lot of 6s.

158
00:05:41,023 --> 00:05:42,725
I can't believe you all
are even considering this.

159
00:05:42,825 --> 00:05:45,047
We are talking about leaving
one of our own

160
00:05:45,147 --> 00:05:46,969
to die alone
in the wilderness.

161
00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:49,332
We still got to cut weight
to make it across the river.

162
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,693
Well, we just have
to work together.

163
00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:52,415
Look, if each one of us
sacrifices

164
00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:54,017
something small and personal,

165
00:05:54,117 --> 00:05:55,058
we can cut the weight
that way.

166
00:05:55,158 --> 00:05:56,139
[laughs] Yeah.

167
00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:57,580
Like anybody's
gonna go for that.

168
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,943
They will, because they are
not heartless monsters,

169
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:02,065
like you.
Ah, perfect.

170
00:06:02,165 --> 00:06:03,547
John, perhaps you
would consider

171
00:06:03,647 --> 00:06:04,868
sacrificing
your rocking chair.

172
00:06:04,968 --> 00:06:06,229
It's a family heirloom!

173
00:06:06,329 --> 00:06:08,232
My grandaddy died
on that rocking chair.

174
00:06:08,332 --> 00:06:09,673
And three of my kids
were born on it.

175
00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:11,395
Wow, that chair's
seen a lot of action.

176
00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:12,476
All right, Granny McGill.

177
00:06:12,576 --> 00:06:13,677
What about
those pots and pans?

178
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:14,798
Surely you can lose
a couple of them

179
00:06:14,898 --> 00:06:15,960
if it means saving a life.

180
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:17,241
What am I supposed to do,

181
00:06:17,341 --> 00:06:19,523
make beans in a stew pot?

182
00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:22,206
Make stew in a bean pot?
What about the piano?

183
00:06:22,306 --> 00:06:23,527
Surely we can do without
Martha's piano.

184
00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:25,570
What? And no tunes
for the road?

185
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,172
[plays ending flourish]

186
00:06:28,272 --> 00:06:31,496
[cheers and applause]

187
00:06:31,596 --> 00:06:33,097
Here are
your boarding passes,

188
00:06:33,197 --> 00:06:34,859
and please enjoy
a complimentary glass

189
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,020
of sparkling corn water.

190
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,942
- Happy trails.
- This is more like it.

191
00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:39,624
Is this heaven
or is this heaven?

192
00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:42,467
[chuckles] Prudence.

193
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:45,831
Sorry. I was just thinking
about our friends.

194
00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:48,053
I feel bad for not
fording the river with them.

195
00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:51,276
Are you joking?
This is way better.

196
00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:52,878
Now we're going to Oregon
in style.

197
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,360
[glasses clink]

198
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,121
Wait, hold on,
did you just say Oregon?

199
00:06:56,221 --> 00:06:57,643
We're actually going
to Oregon, too.

200
00:06:57,743 --> 00:07:01,247
I'm Kya, and this is
my partner, Purple.
Hi.

201
00:07:01,347 --> 00:07:03,329
Todd Aberdeen.
This is my wife, Prudence.

202
00:07:03,429 --> 00:07:04,370
I couldn't help but notice

203
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:05,972
you have weird
and crazy names.

204
00:07:06,072 --> 00:07:07,493
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

205
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,056
Yeah.
They were bequeathed to us
by a shaman,

206
00:07:10,156 --> 00:07:12,579
in the
"Ethspanish" territory.

207
00:07:12,679 --> 00:07:13,940
Wow. I'm so jealous.

208
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,622
It was super meaningful,

209
00:07:15,722 --> 00:07:19,065
You know,
living that #WagonLife.

210
00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:20,307
What's WagonLife?

211
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,948
- Oh, it's a lifestyle.
- Lifestyle.

212
00:07:22,048 --> 00:07:24,030
Yeah, we travel around
the country

213
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,312
in a refurbished wagon

214
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,994
going wherever
the good wind takes us.

215
00:07:27,094 --> 00:07:29,196
Yeah, we kind
of believe that

216
00:07:29,296 --> 00:07:31,438
if you're not living
every single second

217
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,920
as an adventure,
it's like,

218
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,101
what are you doing
with your life?
What are you doing?

219
00:07:34,181 --> 00:07:35,883
Like, what are you doing?

220
00:07:35,983 --> 00:07:38,566
Maybe it sounds stupid,
but not everyone gets it.

221
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,927
I totally get it.

222
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,970
I--I feel like that
all the time.
You do?

223
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:45,012
It's... [clears throat]
just I thought you were

224
00:07:45,112 --> 00:07:47,935
perfectly happy being
my meek and servile wife.

225
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,618
It's just, you know, I--
I could understand

226
00:07:50,718 --> 00:07:52,620
how someone else
could feel that way.

227
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,342
Gotcha.
So we're about to go

228
00:07:54,442 --> 00:07:56,945
smoke a lot of opium.
That's the deal.

229
00:07:57,045 --> 00:07:58,586
That's what we're doing,
drugs.

230
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,348
And we just kinda
wanted to know

231
00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:02,791
if you wanted
to come vibe with us.

232
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:05,834
See what happens.
Yes, we'd love to.

233
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:06,995
Oh, beauty.

234
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:09,818
Yay! #NewFriends.

235
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,041
Why does she
keep saying "hashtag"?

236
00:08:13,141 --> 00:08:15,084
Oh, yeah, Purple
was kicked in the head

237
00:08:15,184 --> 00:08:16,205
by a beautiful horse,

238
00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:18,087
so now she just
says things at random.

239
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:18,968
Ah, got it.

240
00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:21,931
Yas, queen.
That's bae.

241
00:08:22,031 --> 00:08:24,333
It's cute, right?
That is bae, darling.

242
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:26,335
All right, folks,
it's time to play

243
00:08:26,435 --> 00:08:28,818
ALL, CHANTING:
Who! Will! Die!

244
00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:30,099
I just want to say
I am sickened

245
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:32,061
and appalled by all of this.

246
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:33,983
Have we forsaken
our humanity?

247
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:36,145
[all booing]

248
00:08:36,245 --> 00:08:38,628
When do you have time
to make that?

249
00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:40,030
All right, let's meet
our contestants.

250
00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:43,193
First up, she's got
the face of an angel,

251
00:08:43,293 --> 00:08:44,754
and the mouth of a sailor,

252
00:08:44,854 --> 00:08:45,996
it's Granny McGill!

253
00:08:46,096 --> 00:08:48,158
Kiss my pruny ass.

254
00:08:48,258 --> 00:08:49,800
[laughter]
Next up,
he's the little stinker

255
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,042
with a host of chronic
health problems,

256
00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:53,083
it's Young Levi!

257
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:54,965
[coughing]

258
00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:57,768
Oh, no. There's blood.

259
00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:00,251
[applause]
Last but not least,
she's fun-loving

260
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:01,772
with a bun in the oven,

261
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:03,854
it's Pregnant Ruth!

262
00:09:03,954 --> 00:09:06,097
Please let me out of this!

263
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,458
Think of my baby!

264
00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:08,779
[laughter]
This is a tough one, huh?

265
00:09:08,879 --> 00:09:10,421
I think we're gonna have
to have a bonus round.

266
00:09:10,521 --> 00:09:12,383
A fight to the death!

267
00:09:12,483 --> 00:09:14,185
[cheers and applause]
No, no, no, no, no!

268
00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:15,506
This is grotesque.

269
00:09:15,606 --> 00:09:18,109
All right, if we have
to leave somebody behind,

270
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,310
let it be me.

271
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,712
[all gasp]

272
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:22,434
Uh, Rev, I don't think

273
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,075
you understand
how the rules work.

274
00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:25,116
You're off the hook.

275
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:26,358
It's one of these losers
has to die.

276
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:28,040
No, no, I understand
the rules, Benny.

277
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,681
Just because everybody else
has abandoned

278
00:09:29,781 --> 00:09:30,963
their basic moral principles

279
00:09:31,063 --> 00:09:32,845
doesn't mean
I have to as well.

280
00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:35,207
All right, it's settled.
I'm--I'm staying.

281
00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:36,328
Hmm.

282
00:09:36,428 --> 00:09:38,130
- Thank you.
- Oh, of course.

283
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,531
Thanks, Reverend.

284
00:09:39,631 --> 00:09:41,634
No problem, Levi.

285
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:45,317
What the hell
is going on here?

286
00:09:46,599 --> 00:09:48,180
KYA:
Hit it. Hit it.

287
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,382
Hit it. Hit it.

288
00:09:49,482 --> 00:09:52,745
- [coughs]
- [all chuckle]

289
00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,948
- Smooth, right?
- Okay.

290
00:09:55,048 --> 00:09:56,349
- It's good stuff.
- I like that.

291
00:09:56,449 --> 00:09:59,072
You guys are officially
my role models.

292
00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:00,714
You live in this cute wagon

293
00:10:00,814 --> 00:10:02,676
and go on
these fun adventures.

294
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,117
How are you able
to live like this?

295
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:07,040
We get paid to take pictures
of our travels.

296
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,082
I mean, our fans love
to see the world

297
00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:10,283
through our unique lens.

298
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:11,805
Let's show them pictures.

299
00:10:11,905 --> 00:10:14,127
Ah, this is us
with Lewis and Clark.

300
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:17,411
PRU: What? You went on the
Lewis and Clark expedition?

301
00:10:17,511 --> 00:10:18,732
Mm-hmm. We know them.

302
00:10:18,832 --> 00:10:20,654
Tell me everything!

303
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,776
Is Sacagawea just, like,
so beautiful in real life?

304
00:10:22,876 --> 00:10:24,098
We didn't go on the trip.

305
00:10:24,198 --> 00:10:25,379
We just happened
to be staying

306
00:10:25,479 --> 00:10:26,741
at the same hunting lodge.

307
00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:28,663
- Oh.
- Get this. This is crazy.

308
00:10:28,763 --> 00:10:31,065
Clark actually
thinks he's hot shit,

309
00:10:31,165 --> 00:10:33,388
and in reality,

310
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:34,749
he's not.
He's not.

311
00:10:34,849 --> 00:10:36,070
- TODD: That is crazy.
- He's just, like, a guy.

312
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,393
[gasps] Oh, this is us
at the White House.

313
00:10:38,493 --> 00:10:40,755
- KYA: Oh, my gosh.
- Babe, you are so hot in that.

314
00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:42,077
- And spiritual.
- Uh-huh.

315
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:44,639
That is a picture
of me being spiritual.

316
00:10:44,739 --> 00:10:47,202
Okay. So what was
the White House like?

317
00:10:47,302 --> 00:10:49,244
We didn't go inside.

318
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,206
It's actually
my personal belief

319
00:10:51,306 --> 00:10:53,308
that politics is fake.

320
00:10:54,309 --> 00:10:55,210
Huh.

321
00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,312
True.

322
00:11:02,718 --> 00:11:04,100
Hey, what's going on
over here?

323
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,941
What are you doing
with all this river trash?

324
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,783
I am building myself a raft

325
00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:09,345
made of discarded wagon parts

326
00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:10,626
tied together
with horse flesh.

327
00:11:10,726 --> 00:11:13,029
It's not much, I know,
but I am hoping

328
00:11:13,129 --> 00:11:15,131
the good Lord will have
mercy on my soul.

329
00:11:17,814 --> 00:11:18,995
- Whoa!
- All right, wise guy.

330
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,117
The jig is up.
Tell me what's going on here

331
00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:22,158
or I'm gonna pump you
full of lead!

332
00:11:22,258 --> 00:11:23,480
There's nothing going on,
I swear.

333
00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:26,803
Oh, come on! No one willingly
dies for no reason!

334
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,205
What are you getting
out of it?

335
00:11:28,305 --> 00:11:31,328
Nothing! I just--
It's being selfless.

336
00:11:31,428 --> 00:11:32,409
Self what?

337
00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:35,252
Selfless.
Like, when you do something

338
00:11:35,352 --> 00:11:38,215
for someone else with
no personal gain for yourself?

339
00:11:38,315 --> 00:11:41,178
Just out of the goodness
of your heart?

340
00:11:41,278 --> 00:11:45,903
You know, I did save a guy
from a fire once. Yeah.

341
00:11:46,003 --> 00:11:47,184
But I mean,
that was just to rob him.

342
00:11:47,284 --> 00:11:48,666
I shot him right after.

343
00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:50,548
Oh, no.
That's not it, then.

344
00:11:50,648 --> 00:11:52,710
I don't know how else
to put it, Benny.

345
00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:53,831
I just--I'm doing it because

346
00:11:53,931 --> 00:11:55,913
I think it's
the moral thing to do.

347
00:11:56,013 --> 00:11:58,476
No.
Nah, I'm not buying it.

348
00:11:58,576 --> 00:11:59,838
You're up to something.

349
00:11:59,938 --> 00:12:01,159
I'm really not.
I swear.

350
00:12:01,259 --> 00:12:04,763
Hey, watch out for this one,
folks. He's good.

351
00:12:04,863 --> 00:12:07,526
Very good.

352
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:09,327
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand.

353
00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:11,289
So, you guys are just

354
00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:14,613
taking photos and not actually
doing these things?

355
00:12:14,713 --> 00:12:17,176
What's your point?
What about living your life

356
00:12:17,276 --> 00:12:18,617
like it's an adventure?

357
00:12:18,717 --> 00:12:19,858
I thought that
was your whole thing.

358
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:22,902
It is, but it's also
just like,

359
00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:24,263
you know,
an inspirational quote

360
00:12:24,363 --> 00:12:26,906
for, like, basic farm girls
to stitch on a pillow.

361
00:12:27,006 --> 00:12:29,008
It's our brand.

362
00:12:29,408 --> 00:12:31,270
Oh, my God.

363
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:33,352
I shouldn't be here.
I should be fording the river.

364
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,234
Ew. Why would you be
fording the river?

365
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:37,677
Sweetheart,
never ford a river.
Oh, that's so gross.

366
00:12:37,777 --> 00:12:39,199
[scoffs] No, my friends
are out there

367
00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:41,681
having a real adventure,
unlike you guys

368
00:12:41,781 --> 00:12:44,644
who are just #fake.
Hey! Excuse me.

369
00:12:44,744 --> 00:12:46,286
Do not make fun of
my wife's condition.

370
00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:48,989
It took hours to get
that horseshoe out of her head.

371
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,852
Wait, Prudence!
What are you doing?

372
00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,533
The ferry's
about to take off.

373
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,335
Prudence!

374
00:12:55,435 --> 00:12:56,537
I--

375
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:58,419
[groans] I'm so sorry.

376
00:12:58,519 --> 00:13:00,501
Yeah, it's a bummer.

377
00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,222
I really thought
we were all gonna swing.

378
00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:03,504
[sighs]

379
00:13:03,604 --> 00:13:05,626
Well, I am still down.
PURPLE: No.

380
00:13:05,726 --> 00:13:08,269
It was you watching,
at best.

381
00:13:08,369 --> 00:13:09,830
- I liked her.
- At best.

382
00:13:09,930 --> 00:13:12,193
Hnaah...
KYA: You should probably
head out.

383
00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:13,554
- I'm gonna go.
- KYA: Yeah, head out.

384
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:15,196
- I'm gonna go.
- KYA: Goodbye.

385
00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:17,278
- Thank you for the drugs.
- Yes.

386
00:13:17,378 --> 00:13:20,281
All right, folks,
it's fording time!

387
00:13:20,381 --> 00:13:21,242
[all cheer]

388
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,524
- Yeah!
- Ha ha! Come on, now.

389
00:13:22,624 --> 00:13:24,486
- Yeah!
- Move 'em out.

390
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,588
Come on,
put some muscle into it!

391
00:13:32,234 --> 00:13:34,456
Well, God,

392
00:13:34,556 --> 00:13:36,558
wish me luck.

393
00:13:42,284 --> 00:13:44,867
Benny? We making a mistake
leaving the rev behind?

394
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:46,348
This don't feel right.

395
00:13:46,448 --> 00:13:47,550
Nah, don't fall for it.

396
00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:48,991
This is some kind
of a trick.

397
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:51,394
Oh, no!
I'm sinking instantly!

398
00:13:51,494 --> 00:13:52,915
This was a terrible plan!

399
00:13:53,015 --> 00:13:54,637
I've seen this one before.

400
00:13:54,737 --> 00:13:56,399
It's a classic
Dead Man Shuffle.

401
00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:58,401
Keep an eye on your wallets,
folks.

402
00:13:58,501 --> 00:13:59,642
I'm not a swimmer!

403
00:13:59,742 --> 00:14:01,684
I didn't grow up
around water!

404
00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:03,847
Huh. Not familiar
with this trick.

405
00:14:03,947 --> 00:14:05,448
Goodbye, world!

406
00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:08,151
[gurgling]

407
00:14:10,794 --> 00:14:13,457
Oh, I see.
He's just fully dying.

408
00:14:13,557 --> 00:14:16,079
Okay. Interesting.

409
00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:21,345
Help! Help!

410
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,467
We have to do something!

411
00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:25,830
Are you crazy?
And risk our necks?

412
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,272
- Help!
- PRU: Zeke!

413
00:14:28,372 --> 00:14:30,875
I'm coming for ya!
Hold on!

414
00:14:30,975 --> 00:14:32,356
Oh, yes! Yes!

415
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,458
Now she's doing it?

416
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:38,463
Come on, girl.
You got this.

417
00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:42,367
What is wrong
with these people?

418
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:46,731
♪♪♪♪♪♪

419
00:14:46,831 --> 00:14:48,293
Oh, my God!

420
00:14:48,393 --> 00:14:51,777
- I got you.
- Oh, wow. You are very strong!

421
00:14:51,877 --> 00:14:54,019
- Swim, Prudence! Come on, girl!
- You can do it!

422
00:14:54,119 --> 00:14:55,621
Hey, hey, don't let them on!

423
00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:57,342
They're too heavy!
We'll sink!

424
00:14:57,442 --> 00:15:00,826
You shut your yap, Benny.
We're done listening to you.

425
00:15:00,926 --> 00:15:03,429
Everybody, start throwing
your stuff overboard!

426
00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,531
[grunting]

427
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:08,974
Here we go.

428
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,238
Craziest damn thing
I've ever seen!

429
00:15:12,338 --> 00:15:13,479
MARTHA:
Keep swimming!

430
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,441
JOHN: Rev, hold on!

431
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:17,543
GRANNY: You can do it!

432
00:15:21,948 --> 00:15:23,369
All right.

433
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:26,152
Let's see what this morality
thing is all about.

434
00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,378
Hey! That was mine!

435
00:15:31,478 --> 00:15:33,540
Yeah, well,
that was pretty big for me.

436
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,642
We all saw
where I was at earlier.

437
00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:39,867
JOHN: All right, let's get
these wagons on shore!

438
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:42,790
Pru, you saved my life.

439
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:45,032
- Are you okay?
- Am I okay?

440
00:15:45,132 --> 00:15:47,434
Did you see me out there?
I was all like,

441
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:50,037
whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!
"I got you, Zeke,"

442
00:15:50,137 --> 00:15:53,000
and then everyone was like,
"She's a hero! Oh, my God,

443
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,163
I want to marry you, Prudence!
I worship you."

444
00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:56,444
For a near-death experience,

445
00:15:56,544 --> 00:15:57,605
there were a lot
of nice moments.

446
00:15:57,705 --> 00:15:59,867
- [chuckles]
- TODD: Prudence!

447
00:16:00,788 --> 00:16:01,930
Oh, shit.

448
00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:03,571
What the hell was that
back there?

449
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,814
You embarrassed me in front
of our attractive new friends.

450
00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:08,096
I'm sorry, dear,
but I really just needed

451
00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:10,418
to do this for myself.
Okay?

452
00:16:10,518 --> 00:16:11,459
Hey, no.

453
00:16:11,559 --> 00:16:13,301
What has gotten into you?

454
00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:15,023
You openly disobey
your husband.

455
00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:17,506
You ruined
your pretty little dress.

456
00:16:17,606 --> 00:16:19,608
This is not the woman
I married.

457
00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:22,831
You're wrong, dear.

458
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:25,434
This is the woman
you married.

459
00:16:25,534 --> 00:16:26,555
Get used to it.

460
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:28,317
[yells]

461
00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:30,479
[laughter]

462
00:16:30,579 --> 00:16:33,262
[spluttering]
I'm wet!

463
00:16:34,623 --> 00:16:37,286
Oh, my beautiful dry skin
is ruined!

464
00:16:37,386 --> 00:16:38,488
It's ruined!

465
00:16:38,588 --> 00:16:41,210
[laughter continues]

466
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,573
- Let me help you.
- No!

467
00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:45,215
[laughs]

468
00:16:45,315 --> 00:16:48,418
Well, Rev, I gotta say,
you were right.

469
00:16:48,518 --> 00:16:50,380
I think there is room
for morality

470
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,102
out on the trail,
once in a while.

471
00:16:52,202 --> 00:16:53,383
I'm glad
you see it that way.

472
00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:55,585
- Good.
- I'm sorry, I'm very wet.

473
00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:58,028
Hey guys.
Do you mind if we just
take a quick pic?

474
00:16:58,128 --> 00:17:00,310
Just a quick little snap
of the whole fam?

475
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,592
KYA:
Everyone gather round.

476
00:17:01,692 --> 00:17:02,953
- Let's get in there.
- PURPLE: #Selfie.

477
00:17:03,053 --> 00:17:04,314
Okay, selfie.

478
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:06,357
All right, ready, fit fam?

479
00:17:06,457 --> 00:17:08,559
Let's take it.
Three, two, one.

480
00:17:08,659 --> 00:17:10,521
ALL: Sex!

481
00:17:10,621 --> 00:17:13,063
♪♪♪♪♪♪

482
00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:16,968
- [harmonica plays]
- [laughter]

483
00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:19,070
All right. [sighs]

484
00:17:20,311 --> 00:17:22,213
Hey, ho, ho, ho, ho!

485
00:17:22,313 --> 00:17:23,294
We gotta do grace.

486
00:17:23,394 --> 00:17:24,776
GRANNY: Oh, shucks!

487
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:26,898
Come on,
quit your griping.

488
00:17:26,998 --> 00:17:29,000
Let's keep it classy,
people.

489
00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:31,723
Rev, if you please.

490
00:17:32,924 --> 00:17:34,546
Bless us, oh, Lord,
and these, thy gifts

491
00:17:34,646 --> 00:17:35,587
which we are about
to receive

492
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,689
from thy bounty.

493
00:17:40,612 --> 00:17:41,553
Forget about that.

494
00:17:41,653 --> 00:17:42,915
Cram it in, shit it out.

495
00:17:43,015 --> 00:17:44,036
That's what food
is all about.

496
00:17:44,136 --> 00:17:46,138
- Amen.
- ALL: Amen!

497
00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:48,440
There you go.

498
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,663
♪♪♪♪♪♪