1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:02,915
Hope.

2
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:05,614
That is what I am feeling
on this glorious day

3
00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:08,095
as we are gathered here
together...

4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,661
[sighs]

5
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,141
to mourn

6
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,491
the loss of
one of our brethren,

7
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,929
cruelly taken in his prime
due to cholera.

8
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,192
Which--which reminds me.

9
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,716
Please, please
stay six feet apart.

10
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,761
[wind whistles]

11
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,285
Yes, good,
nobody's doing it.

12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,113
Okay, moving on.

13
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,376
But as each new day
pummels us

14
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:32,032
with a seemingly endless
onslaught of fresh horrors,

15
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,424
we must not lose faith.

16
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:37,167
After all, this is America,

17
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:40,257
where opportunity awaits
around every corner.

18
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,129
Can I get an amen?ALL: Amen.

19
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,782
[groans]

20
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,525
Yeah, just put her
in the coffin, too.

21
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,179
They're--they're both
pretty small.

22
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:52,095
All right, you get her feet.And we will take this
from the top!

23
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,096
Hope!

24
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,273
[theme music plays]

25
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:01,887
[crows squawk]

26
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:07,328
That's it.
This year's harvest.

27
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,677
Worse than last year,

28
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,374
which was worse
than the year before that.

29
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,985
Maybe we should just
kill ourselves now

30
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,030
and get it over with.

31
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,466
I am not killing myself.

32
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,164
You stupid--Please stop fighting!

33
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,339
[overlapping shouting]

34
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,905
Hey! That's enough!
That's enough.

35
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:22,952
Guys, look. I know things
seem desperate right now,

36
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:26,956
but I believe there is
a better place for all of us.

37
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,524
Oregon. Yeah!

38
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,178
See, I've been reading
testimonies

39
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,093
of people in similar
situations to us.

40
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,313
Many of them have found
their salvation in Oregon.

41
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,445
You know how
to navigate across

42
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,403
2,000 miles
of untamed territory?

43
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,798
No, I--Sorry, Reverend.

44
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,060
Without
an experienced guide,

45
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,714
going to Oregon
is out of the question.

46
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,281
Maybe we should just go back
to John's idea

47
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,804
about killing ourselves.

48
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,241
I think there was
something there.

49
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:56,768
♪♪♪

50
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:02,818
Oh, Zeke.

51
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,298
Hold it right there.

52
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,213
Oh, no. Aah...

53
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,954
Wow, Zeke. Really?

54
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,521
You look truly dismal.

55
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,870
Come on, Pru, you know
I don't feel comfortable

56
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:12,958
with that contraption
of yours.

57
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,177
Capturing one's image is

58
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,526
absolutely a form of vanity.

59
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,137
Why does everything have
to be a sin with you?

60
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,703
Can't it just be fun?

61
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,401
I'm not really in a fun mood
right now, what with the town

62
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,620
on the verge of extinction
and everything.

63
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,231
Hey, man. You think you
have it bad?

64
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,928
I just spent all day
mending socks.

65
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,191
All day. Just socks.

66
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,237
So will you please just
let me have this one thing?

67
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,673
Yes, I will. Okay.
Don't hurt me.

68
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:32,674
Great.

69
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,199
Okay, how's, um...
how's this?

70
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,940
Oh, yes, I love it!

71
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,334
You're giving me serious
fire and brimstone right now,

72
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,031
and it's working.You're ridiculous.

73
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,340
Ah. That was pretty cool.[clears throat]

74
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,342
Well, good day, Reverend.

75
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,300
Good day, Mrs. Aberdeen.

76
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:53,303
Oh, and hey--good luck
saving the town.

77
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,745
Heavenly Father, it's me,
Ezekiel Brown.

78
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,225
I don't know why I said my name.

79
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,575
You know it's me.
We talk all the time.

80
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,839
This town is full
of good people, Lord,

81
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,667
innocent people,

82
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:13,628
but if we don't find someone
who can lead us to Oregon,

83
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,107
they're all gonna die.

84
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,284
Please, Lord,

85
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:20,156
send us a miracle.

86
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,948
Howdy.

87
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,432
Come on, get him on the table.
Get him on the table.

88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,260
Come on, he's hurt,
he's hurt.

89
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,219
Okay, let's see
what we've got here.

90
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,134
Oh, my God! Oh.
You know what?

91
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,135
Actually, Prudence,

92
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,528
uh, you should
take care of this.

93
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,226
It's more like women's work
anyway. So...

94
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,142
Sir, can you drink
any water?

95
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,361
[weakly] Whiskey?

96
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,710
Well, I don't think
that's a good idea.

97
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,321
You've been wandering
the desert.I said whiskey!

98
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,018
Okay.

99
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,330
Sir, my--my name is
Reverend Ezekiel Brown.

100
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,593
Can I ask who you are?

101
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,944
I'm nobody.

102
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,297
Um, Jim Nobody.

103
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,387
Yeah, I'm--
I'm a frontiersman.

104
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,476
You see, I was just out
on the dusty trail,

105
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,869
Argh! And, uh...[bullet lands in tin cup]

106
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,306
Out of nowhere,
this gang of outlaws comes

107
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,917
and they--they shoot me
in the back.[bullet lands in cup]

108
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,442
By the way, how's it looking
back there?Good.

109
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,834
[whispers] It's bad.

110
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,446
Uh, a frontiersman?
Sir, by any chance,

111
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,317
have your travels
taken you to Oregon?

112
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,450
Sure, once or twice.

113
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,929
I've been all over
this damn country

114
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:40,236
more times
than I can count.This is it!

115
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,107
This is the man who can
take us to Oregon.

116
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,371
You said yourself, John,
all we needed was a guide

117
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,242
and God has sent us
this man.

118
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:52,335
Sir, will you lead us
to our salvation in Oregon?

119
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,815
No.

120
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,512
What?[sighs] Look,

121
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,384
I appreciate you
patching me up and all,

122
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,429
but I have no interest
in chaperoning

123
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,476
a bunch of soft-bellied,
slack-jawed dirt farmers

124
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,521
across the country.

125
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:05,566
No offense.None taken.

126
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,784
I got the medicine
from town,

127
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,308
and you won't believe
the news.

128
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,875
Benny the Teen robbed
Fort McAlister.

129
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,617
Benny the Teen,
the notorious outlaw?

130
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,053
In these parts?

131
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,011
They're sending
in federal marshals

132
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,534
across the territory
to find him.

133
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,755
Ah, you know what?
[stammers]

134
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,670
I think I'll take you
to Oregon after all.

135
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,672
Great!
What changed your mind?

136
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,456
Just figured, why say no
when you can say yes?

137
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,371
[laughs] In fact I think
we should leave right now.

138
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,764
Oh, but don't we need time

139
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:30,895
to plan the route
and stock up on supplies?

140
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,594
Nah, the Oregon Trail's
a straight shot.

141
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,553
I mean, we can
pretty much wing it.

142
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:37,815
- [groans loudly]
- [bullets roll on floor]

143
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,426
Okay!

144
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,384
Who's excited
to go to Oregon?

145
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:44,082
[all cheer]All right! Come on!
Time's a-wasting.

146
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:57,574
♪♪♪

147
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,141
Hey, looking good,
Granny McGill.

148
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,709
Hey, Reverend.
All this bouncing around

149
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,667
reminds me
of my wedding night.

150
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,843
Ha ha!Okay.

151
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,279
Oh, um, howdy, wagon master.

152
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,369
You mind if I ride
up front with you?

153
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,282
Be my guest.

154
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,547
- Ah!
- Okay.

155
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,026
[sighs]

156
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,812
So, tell me, what's life like
as a frontiersman, then?

157
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,598
Well, you know,
it's, uh...

158
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,645
roaming the frontier,
doing frontier stuff.

159
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,430
Oh, fascinating.

160
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,477
What kind of frontier stuff?
You know, specifically?

161
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,395
Uh, you know, little of this,
little of that.

162
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:39,877
It's frontier stuff. I don't
know how else to explain it.

163
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,662
How friggin' awesome is this?

164
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,534
Just the open land,
fresh air,

165
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:47,058
just the sense of adventure.
[sighs]

166
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,104
I feel free.

167
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,584
TODD: Prudence!

168
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,587
Oh, God.
I should get that.

169
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:56,807
Yes, dear?

170
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,331
I'm feeling wagon-sick.
Can you rub my belly?

171
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,683
Of course, dear.

172
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,125
I, like, hate this trip
already.

173
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:13,258
The wagons are so bumpy.
The oxen smell like shit.

174
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435
Like, would it kill them
to just put a skylight

175
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,697
in one of these things?

176
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,568
You know,
you might actually

177
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,875
enjoy it more
if you just left the wagon.

178
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,486
Yeah, it's really
beautiful out there.

179
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,358
I saw a cloud that looked
just like a rabbit.

180
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,578
Oh. That's nice,

181
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,667
but, that makes no sense.

182
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,495
Right? 'Cause clouds
look like clouds,

183
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,498
and rabbits look like...

184
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,717
BOTH: Rabbits.

185
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,675
Okay?You're right.

186
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,068
Now less talk-talk
and more rub-rub.

187
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,983
I'm just gonna lie here
until we get to Oregon.

188
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,075
Enough about me. What's--
what's your deal?

189
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,207
I notice you talk crazy.[chuckles]

190
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,122
Well, I was born and raised
in England.

191
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,516
Well, not raised, actually.
I'm an orphan, so...

192
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,300
Oh, well, sorry to hear that.

193
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,867
Yes, the headmistress
would beat me

194
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,260
with a shovel every morning

195
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,914
and feed me scraps
of shoe leather for dinner.

196
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,525
To earn my keep I had
to dance naked for pennies.

197
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,527
Pennies can really hurt.

198
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,224
Wow, that sounds rough.

199
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:09,445
No, actually, it's a pretty
standard childhood in England.

200
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,969
♪♪♪

201
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,667
Ho![horse neighs]

202
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,624
U.S. Marshals.

203
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,539
Pull over.

204
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,368
♪♪♪

205
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,286
We're looking for
an outlaw,

206
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:27,419
goes by the name of
Benny the Teen.

207
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:30,118
ZEKE: Oh, yes, we heard about
the robbery at Fort McAlister.

208
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:30,988
Terrible business.

209
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,381
I'm Reverend Ezekiel Brown.

210
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,861
This is our wagon master,
Jim Nobody.

211
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,734
Nobody, huh?

212
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,650
It's German.

213
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,304
German.

214
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,698
[clears throat]

215
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,703
German-Dutch, eh...
Scottish.

216
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,879
French.
[clears throat]

217
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:56,274
Would you mind removing
your hat, please, Mr. Nobody?

218
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,848
You've never seen
this man before?

219
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:08,199
No. I don't recognize him
at all. [chuckles]

220
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,550
Handsome guy, though.
Beautiful mustache.

221
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,117
Oh, hey!

222
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,292
Get this off me!

223
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,817
What--I--come on!

224
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,210
What--oh! Oh.

225
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:21,952
No, doesn't ring a bell.

226
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:25,434
I'm just so sorry for
the inconvenience, gentlemen.

227
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,001
Happy trails.

228
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,830
Yeah, keep up the good work,
officer.

229
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,702
[chuckles] Whoo!
Whoo!

230
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,226
Hoo hoo! [clears throat]

231
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,446
All right, let's get
back on the trail.

232
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,668
[laughter]

233
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:44,279
So there I was,
with just my boots on,

234
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,281
when her husband
kicks down the door.

235
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,630
I don't think

236
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,501
the fair reverend's
gonna like this next part.

237
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,981
Yeah, I bet I won't.

238
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,940
Ooh. Somebody's got
a snake in his boot.

239
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:56,117
Ooh.
Speaking of snakes,

240
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,119
I gotta drain
the ol' sidewinder.

241
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,861
I call it that because
of how weird it looks.

242
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,123
[laughter]

243
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,341
[whispers] All right,
everyone, listen up.

244
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,605
That man is not
who he claims to be.

245
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,824
That is Benny the Teen.Who?
The mysterious wagon master

246
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,957
who appeared
out of thin air?Yes! Him.

247
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,959
And we have to do something
before he slips away.

248
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,918
Whew! Ahh.
False alarm.

249
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,878
Is it true
what the rev says?

250
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,706
Are you Benny the Teen?

251
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,710
All right, I am.

252
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,974
Ooh...

253
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,976
Benny the Teen!
[laughs]

254
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,239
[laughter]What?

255
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,634
We got a celebrity
in our midst.

256
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,114
He's not a celebrity.
He's a famous murderer.

257
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,247
Please, stay as long
as you need.

258
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:43,730
It is our honor to be led
by theBenny the Teen.Yeah!

259
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,514
Brethren,
what are we thinking?

260
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:48,038
We cannot allow ourselves
to be led by this man.

261
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,693
This man's a criminal!
He's done terrible things.

262
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,738
He's done nothing bad to me.

263
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,000
No, not yet.
He just got here.

264
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,305
What if he robs you?
What if he kills you?

265
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,698
Well, that's different.
That'd be a discussion.

266
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:56,743
Unbelievable.

267
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,570
Well, I guess
it's settled, then.

268
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,921
Now, where was I?
Oh, yes, the husband.

269
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,053
Well, he looks at
us and he says,

270
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,795
"Don't stop. I'm into it.
Keep going."

271
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,536
[laughter]And then I shot him.

272
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:08,929
[louder laughter]

273
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,671
Sounds like they're
having fun out there.

274
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,455
Well, why don't we have
some fun in here?

275
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,765
I heard what you said earlier

276
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,245
about wanting me
to enjoy myself.

277
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,858
Well, I'm feeling
much better now.

278
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,207
Well, that's nice,
but I--

279
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,643
[shushes]

280
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,647
I want you to
just sit right there

281
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,303
and you let Monsieur Todd
grab the martinis.

282
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,696
[sucks teeth]
I made them extra dirty.

283
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,829
With stagnant pond water
I found beside the road.

284
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,006
[insects buzzing]Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.

285
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,356
You can catch dysentery
like that.[chuckles]

286
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,491
Ooh, it's spicy.

287
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,450
No, thank you. I can't...

288
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,061
hold my liquor
like you can.

289
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,193
I see.

290
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,542
Straight to business, then.

291
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:00,241
Okay.Okay.

292
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,764
Are you good?Yeah.

293
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,027
[loud fart]

294
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,073
Did you hear that?
Must've been an owl.

295
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,945
They're
all over these parts.

296
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,642
Anyway, where were we?

297
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,166
[farts] Aah!

298
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,168
They're... [chuckles]
really hooting tonight.

299
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,474
Do you maybe need
to step outside?No, no, no.

300
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,650
I'm good, I'm--hey.

301
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,696
I'm so good.

302
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,219
[wet fart]
Ooh.

303
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,701
Ah. Aah!

304
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,226
[farting continues]Love you.

305
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:32,012
Oh, Lord! It's like
the great Mississippi

306
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:35,058
gushing from my ass!
[whimpering]

307
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,977
Hey, kid. Want to come
sit up front with me?

308
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,414
No, thank you. I don't sit
next to evil sinners.

309
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:47,201
You know, nothing's really
changed, if you think about it.

310
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,377
I'm still taking you
to Oregon.

311
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,727
Might be a nicer trip
if we were more friendly-like.

312
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,382
I'm not your friend.
I thought you were sent by God

313
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,818
but it turns out
you were sent by the devil.

314
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,473
[gunshot]Whoa!

315
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
[horses neigh]

316
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,395
Hey, guys!

317
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,049
Oop! Sorry about the gunshot.

318
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,399
I know it's, like,
super loud. [laughs]

319
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,880
Can everyone please
step out of their wagons?

320
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,925
Who is he?Bad news.

321
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,972
MAN IN BLACK:
Yeah, thanks. I'm that guy.

322
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,931
[chuckles] Have any of you
seen Benny the Teen?

323
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,411
With all due respect, sir,

324
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,239
we already got searched
by the sheriff.

325
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,676
Oh, with all due respect,
ma'am,

326
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,678
I ain't the sheriff.

327
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:30,940
I'm a bounty hunter.

328
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:34,117
I've brought hundreds of men
to the noose,

329
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:36,641
but Benny the Teen
has always eluded me.

330
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:39,906
That is, until I found
a trail of bloody footprints

331
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,647
leading from Fort McAlister

332
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,955
to your town.
[chuckles] Imagine that.

333
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:49,698
So let me ask you
one more time.

334
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:54,181
Have any of you seen
Benny the Teen?

335
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,878
[coughs, clears throat]
Benny.

336
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,185
Oh, sorry, I just--
[coughs]

337
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,664
Sorry! [coughs] Benny.

338
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,275
Is it allergies? Uch.

339
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:04,408
My sinuses go crazy, too.
I feel you, brother.

340
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:07,672
[coughing] I'm saying
Benny is in there.

341
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,502
Everyone stand back.

342
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:14,810
I got you.

343
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,725
Congrats! You found me.

344
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:17,900
But you'll never catch me.

345
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,684
To the trees!

346
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:22,949
[townspeople gasp]

347
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,907
Guess I'm a little rusty.

348
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,343
Stop playing hard to get.

349
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,692
Thank you, Reverend.
You've done a good deed

350
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,303
bringing this villain
to justice.

351
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,131
Yeah, thanks, Ezekiel.

352
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,133
Good luck getting
to Oregon now.

353
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:39,661
♪♪♪

354
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,925
No, no, we can still
get to Oregon.

355
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,927
We just follow the trail.

356
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:49,018
Oh, no.
Where, um... [clears throat]

357
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,368
Where--where is
that trail?

358
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,941
Hey, Zeke.
Doing all right?

359
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,247
Yeah! Yeah, great.

360
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,639
Benny's off to jail
and it's gonna be

361
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,467
smooth sailing
all the way to Oregon.

362
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,121
I am perfectly capable
of leading us.

363
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:08,472
I just need to figure out
which way is west.

364
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,734
Um...

365
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,000
Huh.
Yeah, this isn't a map.

366
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,785
This is an anatomical
drawing of a horse.

367
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:19,179
Yes, so it is.

368
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,703
Hmm, there are
its powerful haunches.

369
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:24,793
Oh, God.
We're screwed, aren't we?

370
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:25,837
Yeah. [sighs]

371
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,361
It doesn't make any sense!

372
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,885
Why? Why would God send
an evil man to lead us

373
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,234
on a righteous mission?

374
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,367
Why, God, why?
What do you want from me?

375
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,369
Is this some sort of test,
you sick son of a bitch?

376
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,023
Whoa!You want me to crawl
on the ground

377
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,459
and spank my little arse,
do you?

378
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,635
I'll do it!Oh, my--

379
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:43,029
Is this what you like?
Am I a good little piggy?Hey!

380
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,944
Oink! Oink!Hey, cut it out.

381
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,120
Come on, knock it off.

382
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,470
Get up.
Hey! Listen.[panting]

383
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,907
What if God
isn't punishing you?

384
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,214
Maybe God's okay with you
doing a little bad

385
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,520
if it means doing
a lot of good?

386
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,350
You're right.
You're right.

387
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,004
We need to get Benny back.

388
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,658
Yes! Thank you.

389
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,965
Okay, the bounty hunter
probably hasn't gotten far.

390
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,096
We can still catch up.

391
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,228
Prudence? Where are you?

392
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:09,838
I blasted through
that toilet paper.

393
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,840
We're gonna need
something much stronger.

394
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:13,973
Do you have to deal
with that?

395
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,454
No. Todd can take care
of himself.

396
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
Let's get out of here.

397
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:23,504
Oh! No, it's fine.
I found some red ivy here.

398
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,768
Maybe if I rub it in
real good and deep

399
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:27,856
it'll feel better.

400
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,249
[owl hooting]

401
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,685
Hey? [clears throat]

402
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,470
Seeing as this might be
our last chat and all,

403
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,255
I've always been curious--
how come you never

404
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,865
tell anyone your name?

405
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:40,129
A man needs a name so his people
know what to call him by.

406
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,131
I don't got people.

407
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:44,177
Ahh.

408
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,569
Nah, I'm not buying it.

409
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,007
I think it's because you have
a really weird name.

410
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,183
Let me guess--
is it Nerbert?

411
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,836
My name's not Nerbert.

412
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:52,968
Is it Frampton?

413
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,971
Frampton...Oh! I got it. It's Dingus.

414
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,494
My name isn't Dingus, okay?

415
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,888
I'm not playing this game
with you anymore.

416
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,803
You annoy me.

417
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,066
Hello! Excuse me.

418
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068
Reverend?
What are you doing here?

419
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,852
We just wanted to say
thank you again

420
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,246
for capturing this despicable
piece of human scum.

421
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,682
Boy. Kick a man
when he's down much?

422
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:14,163
And in honor
of this historic occasion,

423
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:15,947
we thought you might like
a photograph.

424
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,341
The day Benny the Teen
was brought to justice

425
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,343
by the great, um...

426
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,085
Dingus.Shut up!

427
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,654
Wow! Uh, yeah, no.
Uh, um...

428
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,090
I'll do a photo,
yeah, sure.

429
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,223
Great! Okay, so just
come a little closer.

430
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,833
All right.A little more.

431
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,226
I'm blushing.

432
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,228
A little closer, and then
just look right here.

433
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,012
What should I do?

434
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,145
Maybe like a...
No.

435
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,147
Um, I'll do the gun,
the guns.

436
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:44,237
Okay, and now just say "cheese"
for 20 minutes.

437
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,586
Cheese...

438
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,504
I'm getting you out of here.Oh! My man.

439
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,027
Eeee...That's really good.

440
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,290
Just keep it going,
just a couple more minutes.

441
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,900
[inhales] Eee...

442
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:58,164
Can't get these ropes off.That's okay.

443
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,340
I can wiggle my way
out of any situation.

444
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:04,257
Wiggle free!No. Stop wiggling!

445
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,519
It's working!
I can feel it!

446
00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:06,998
It's not working!
It's making it tighter.

447
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,131
Okay, come on, get up.Hey, what's going on?

448
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,569
All right,
nobody move.

449
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:13,875
Damn it.No funny business.

450
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,137
Put your hands up
where the sun don't shine.

451
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,878
You want me to put
my hands up my butt?

452
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,532
What?You said you wanted me

453
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,360
to put my hands
where the sun don't shine.

454
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:21,404
That would be my butt.

455
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,971
That is what you said
technically.

456
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,842
All right, would you just
give me a break for a second?

457
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,366
This is my first time
sticking somebody up.

458
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,411
I'm very nervous.All right,
forget I said anything.

459
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,804
You're--
you're doing great.Thank you.

460
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,589
All right, what's your plan
here, huh, pardner?

461
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,026
'Cause you don't seem to me

462
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,072
like the killing type.

463
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:39,901
[horse neighs]

464
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,729
Take that![grunts]

465
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,166
Take his horse.
Let's go.

466
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,169
Oh...

467
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,650
Hey, hey, wait!
I'm still tied up!

468
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,479
Better luck next time,
Dingus!

469
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:55,264
My name's not Dingus.

470
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:58,485
Well, joke's on you,
'cause that horse sucks.

471
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,795
PRUDENCE: Hey, everyone!
We got Benny back!

472
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:07,798
Hi, guys.

473
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,670
[cheering]

474
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,284
How'd you do it?

475
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,243
It was all Pru's idea.

476
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,287
She tricked
the bounty hunter.

477
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,680
Well, my plan wouldn't
have worked

478
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,161
if Ezekiel hadn't pulled
a friggin' gun on the guy.

479
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,249
Aah, I did do that.

480
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,250
Prudence! There you are!

481
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,774
[all gasp]

482
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,558
Oh, my God, Todd.

483
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:32,867
Oh, yes. The ivy
made things much worse.

484
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347
Thankfully, though,
I was able to

485
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,218
fashion this undergarment

486
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,828
out of surplus
wagon materials.

487
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,440
Sort of a gentleman's napkin,
if you will.

488
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,051
Anyway, um, I will need you

489
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:44,922
to lather aloe
all over my body,

490
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:48,274
as I am a wee bit concerned
my skin is going to explode.

491
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,276
Of course, dear.

492
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:55,324
Thanks, Zeke.
That was really fun.

493
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,761
Yeah, it was.
Well, um,

494
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,807
we should do it again
some time.

495
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:03,463
[laughs]
I'd like that.

496
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:13,037
I gotta admit,
those were some

497
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,083
pretty impressive
bandit moves back there.

498
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,650
You know, I think you got
a little bit more

499
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,304
bad guy in you
than you think.

500
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,349
Well, I think you have
a little bit more

501
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,437
good guy in you
than you think.

502
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,960
I don't know about that.

503
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,006
No, well, I know you have
killed people,

504
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,051
but I'm sure it was always
in self-defense.

505
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:30,229
Not really. Sometimes
it was straight-up murder.

506
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,534
Just men, though, right?

507
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,493
Yeah, yeah, just men.

508
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,583
And women.

509
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,368
And some children.

510
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,761
EZEKIEL:
Bad children, at least?

511
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,111
BENNY:
No, just children.