1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,601 Previously on Miracle Workers 2 00:00:01,810 --> 00:00:04,410 You want to destroy the entire world? [POPS LIPS] 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,056 Yeah. But that's not why I brought you in here. 4 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,280 This here is a restaurant. 5 00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:11,350 What? I call it... Lazy Susan's. 6 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:15,690 I already have a prototype for the claw. 7 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,360 ELIZA: All we have to do is get these two to kiss. 8 00:00:19,430 --> 00:00:21,160 Friday? Friday. 9 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,230 Yes! [LAUGHS] 10 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:23,499 Yes! 11 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,300 Is that enough time? 12 00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:27,700 Just barely. 13 00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:30,840 [TICKING] 14 00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:34,040 ♪♪ 15 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,180 [TICKING CONTINUES] 16 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:42,850 ♪♪ 17 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,850 This is it. 18 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:46,920 The big day. 19 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:51,790 If I don't land these investors... 20 00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:54,500 Lazy Susan's doesn't stand a chance. 21 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:57,670 Who you pitching to? 22 00:00:57,730 --> 00:01:00,140 A couple of real power players. 23 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,640 [DIALING] 24 00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:06,610 Mom, Dad? 25 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,210 I'm coming home. 26 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,010 ♪♪ 27 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:17,549 ♪♪ 28 00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:19,690 [BELL DINGING] 29 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:25,160 ♪♪ 30 00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:26,559 [SCREAMING] 31 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:34,569 ♪♪ 32 00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:40,040 ♪♪ 33 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:42,240 ♪ Da-doo-di-da 34 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,110 ♪ Da-doo-di-da 35 00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:46,250 ♪ Da-doo-di-da 36 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,920 ♪ Da-doo-di-da 37 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:49,650 ♪ Da-da-da, di-da 38 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,190 [DOORBELL CHIMES] 39 00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,920 [DOOR OPENS] 40 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,930 No, buddy. No, you listen to me, okay? 41 00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:59,260 What don't you understand about supply and "command"? 42 00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,599 I mean, it's easy. 43 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,200 I want those numbers going up, not down. 44 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:03,870 And if you can't... Sorry. 45 00:02:03,930 --> 00:02:06,330 If you can't put... Then it's your ass, all right? 46 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,799 I-I want... Yes. 47 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,600 At the end of the quarter, I want those numbers 48 00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:10,740 on my desk, yesterday. 49 00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:11,810 [TONES PLAY] Right. 50 00:02:11,811 --> 00:02:13,009 WOMAN: We're sorry. 51 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,209 Wow. 52 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:15,540 Sorry. Work stuff. 53 00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:18,880 Just, if I leave for a minute, it's, uh... 54 00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:19,880 Anyway, hi. 55 00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:21,750 Hey, there, kiddo. It's been a while. 56 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:24,020 Bring it in. [CHUCKLES] 57 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:27,690 Mom, Dad. [GRUNTS] 58 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,930 Okay. 59 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,630 All right, guys, how's it looking? 60 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,700 All good here. Sam showered today. 61 00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:42,570 Good here, too. Laura's picked out her least-stained shirt. 62 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,556 Craig, have they finalized their plans for the date? 63 00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:45,970 Yes. They are going to the cinema. 64 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,110 That is perfect! 65 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:49,040 Dark theater, sitting next to each other... 66 00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:50,556 It doesn't get more romantic than that. 67 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:53,520 What are they seeing? Oh. This. 68 00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:54,980 HERZOG: The sewer. 69 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,249 Tunnels filled with feces. 70 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:59,120 Rats and slime. 71 00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:01,190 The stench of human waste. 72 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:04,260 Descend with me into this nightmare world 73 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,659 of our own making... 74 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,059 in 3-D. 75 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,446 Yeah, they're not gonna kiss watching that. 76 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:09,730 What do we do? 77 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,600 We gotta get them on a better date. 78 00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:13,200 ♪♪ 79 00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:15,400 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS] 80 00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:16,869 So, how's your planet, son? 81 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,386 It's going great, Dad. Thanks for asking. 82 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,879 We just celebrated another million years without war. 83 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,410 Wow. Somebody's going after his mom's record. 84 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,680 [LAUGHS] And, sweetheart, 85 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:27,950 I heard you're doing an amazing job running your planet. 86 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,750 Well, you know, it's a utopia, 87 00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:31,820 so it kind of runs itself. 88 00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,690 [LAUGHTER] Of course. 89 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,860 GOD: [CLEARS THROAT] 90 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,020 Me too. 91 00:03:42,045 --> 00:03:43,075 What? 92 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,499 Oh, uh, yeah, I'm also doing really good. 93 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,040 Oh, right. 94 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,500 Your... planet. 95 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:52,370 Uh, how is Turd? 96 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,040 It's... It's "Earth." 97 00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:55,580 Earth. Right. Sorry. 98 00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:56,980 Earth. 99 00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:58,050 My apologies. 100 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,780 It's going really great. 101 00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:01,180 Thanks for asking. 102 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,120 But... ahem... 103 00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:05,919 I've actually been working on a whole new project. 104 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,719 Here we go. All right. 105 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,330 Mom, Dad, it's pitch time. 106 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,730 Come on. 107 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,530 [SIGHS] 108 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,470 [BLOWING] 109 00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:18,800 Okay, okay, new pitch. 110 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:20,670 Uh, how about a romantic carriage ride? 111 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,400 Nope. Sam's afraid of horses. 112 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,670 Doesn't like their eyes. 113 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,740 All right, then, uh, what about an eyeless horse? 114 00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:27,139 We get some crows, right? 115 00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,456 Wait, where are you getting crows from? 116 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,880 It's Earth. Anywhere. 117 00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,280 We get them to swoop down 118 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,349 and peck the eyes out of the horse. 119 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,126 No, crows only peck eyes out of dead things, though. 120 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,549 So unless you're gonna get a dead horse... 121 00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:37,949 Then I'll get a dead horse! 122 00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:40,160 Have you guys ever thought about a Kiss Cam? 123 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:41,759 Rosie. That's brilliant! 124 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,359 Sorry. What... W-What is a "Kiss Cam"? 125 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,076 Oh, it's this thing they do at sporting events. 126 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,500 They find two people in the stands, 127 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,360 point a camera at them, and they have to kiss. 128 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:50,070 SANJAY: There's a basketball game tonight. 129 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,860 The arena is in Sam and Laura's neighborhood. 130 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,546 Oh, okay. Sorry. Are we all... We all positive 131 00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:55,930 this is the best idea, just putting them on a massive screen 132 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:57,170 in front of loads of people? 133 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,510 Let's make it happen. 134 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:01,040 Yeah. [KEYBOARDS CLACKING] 135 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:04,510 And on this island, there are dozens of capable chefs 136 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:06,110 making all sorts of foods... 137 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,520 pizza, pasta, even French, right? 138 00:05:09,590 --> 00:05:10,920 And when you see a food you like, 139 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,520 you grab it with this long claw. 140 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,660 And it all goes down... 141 00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:18,060 at Lazy Susan's. 142 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,130 GOD: ♪If you're cruisin' for a boozin' ♪ 143 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,930 ♪ Come on down to Lazy Susan's ♪ 144 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,600 ♪ If you're in the mood for gumbo ♪ 145 00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:30,070 ♪ And you like your drinks with rum-o ♪ 146 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,070 ♪ Then it's time to have some fun-o ♪ 147 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:33,740 I don't know how they put up with this. 148 00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:38,480 ♪ It's Lazy Susan's time ♪ Mom's on a lot of pills. 149 00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:39,880 Whoo! [LAUGHS] 150 00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,326 Okay, Nelson, I think we've got it, 151 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:42,890 but let's just get a few more takes, 152 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:44,290 just to be on the safe si... Wow. 153 00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,150 So, I guess what's left is to talk numbers? 154 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:50,290 Well, uh, before your father and I invest in this... thing, 155 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,160 we need to talk in private. Yes. 156 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:54,630 Ohh! I see. You want to get together your offer. 157 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,229 [LAUGHING] All right. 158 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,146 But if you think you're gonna take more than 49%, 159 00:05:58,170 --> 00:05:59,700 you got another thing coming. 160 00:05:59,770 --> 00:06:01,370 [CHUCKLES] 161 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,710 All right. 162 00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:05,310 I was just kidding. 163 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:06,510 I love you guys. 164 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,610 Love you. 165 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,280 Hey, Sam. So, this is weird, 166 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,280 but it looks like the theater we were gonna go to tonight 167 00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:17,820 is on fire. [SIRENS WAILING] 168 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:18,950 Is everyone okay? 169 00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,820 No. A lot of people died. 170 00:06:20,890 --> 00:06:22,820 Oh, God. So, is there anything else 171 00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:24,289 you might want to do tonight? 172 00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:26,490 This is gonna sound weird, but, uh, 173 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,230 two tickets to a basketball game landed on my head. 174 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,370 What? Yeah, I was eating lunch, 175 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,300 and a crow dropped them on me. 176 00:06:33,370 --> 00:06:35,300 They look like pretty good seats. 177 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,640 Okay. 178 00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,310 Should we do that? 179 00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,380 Sure. 180 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,440 [CHUCKLES] Nice. 181 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:44,650 What? - I just... 182 00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,119 How can we even be sure they're going to end up on camera? 183 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,296 All right, there's gonna be dozens 184 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,626 of other couples going to this game. 185 00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:52,520 Actually, there's... [KEYBOARD CLACKING] 186 00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:53,790 212. - Right. 187 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,036 So there's virtually no chance 188 00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:56,340 of Sam and Laura getting picked. 189 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:57,260 Craig's right. 190 00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,190 We need to cull the herd. What? 191 00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:03,060 We take out all the other couples, by any means necessary. 192 00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:04,470 Good job, Craig. - Amazing work. 193 00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,870 - This is really great. - Thanks? 194 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:09,070 Thank you. 195 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:12,940 The good news is that we are very proud of you. 196 00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:18,280 And we love that you have... ideas. 197 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,949 - Great. - That being said, 198 00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:22,280 with the market being what it is, 199 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:24,420 we just don't think now is a good time 200 00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:26,090 for us to invest in anything. 201 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,159 What about them? 202 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,290 You invest in their stuff all the time. 203 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,490 Well, uh... 204 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,830 we just think the concept for your restaurant... 205 00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:37,700 might be difficult to execute. 206 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:41,570 Oh, well, I mean, if you have any notes at all, 207 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,569 I mean, big or small, I'm... I'm totally open. 208 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,779 Well, if you're asking for notes, um, the "food claw"... 209 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:50,110 Yeah, the claw stays. I'm married to the claw. 210 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,110 You lose the claw, and you're compromising 211 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,580 the integrity of Lazy Susan's. 212 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:54,780 I mean... 213 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,189 [LAUGHS] "Get rid of the claw," she says. 214 00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:58,920 [LAUGHS] 215 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,189 Anything else? 216 00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:02,189 All right, guys. Keep it up. 217 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,460 Only a few couples left. 218 00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:06,460 [ENGINE SPUTTERS] Come on, baby. [GRUNTS] 219 00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,460 [STEAM HISSING] 220 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,070 Nice work, Eliza. 221 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,670 [WIND GUSTING] 222 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,070 Aah! 223 00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:15,800 Aah! Aah! No! 224 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,070 Ah! Great job, Rosie. 225 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:20,680 I can't go to the game. 226 00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,280 I have diarrhea. 227 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,280 Sanjay, gross. 228 00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:29,135 That wasn't me. That guy just has diarrhea. 229 00:08:29,257 --> 00:08:30,277 Oh. 230 00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,619 Well, anyway, we're in great shape. 231 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:35,160 Look. 232 00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:37,230 Not as many people as I expected. 233 00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:40,229 Yeah, looks like we have this entire row 234 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,030 to ourselves. - [CHUCKLES] 235 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,700 Maybe these are bad teams? 236 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:46,100 That's okay. 237 00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:48,770 Honestly, I don't know that much about basketball anyway. 238 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,170 Me neither. 239 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,039 I was just gonna start cheering for the team 240 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,039 that you started cheering for. 241 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,580 Wait. That was my plan, too. 242 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,980 [BOTH LAUGH] 243 00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,780 Cheers? Cheers. 244 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:00,320 [LAUGHS] 245 00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,780 Ahh. 246 00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:05,590 You know, I'm glad those tickets fell on your head. 247 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,860 This is fun. 248 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,659 You're not bored? [CHUCKLES] 249 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,459 I think you could have taken me anywhere tonight, 250 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:11,859 and I wouldn't have been bored. 251 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:13,636 No, okay. I think we should disable the Kiss Camera. 252 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:16,000 Craig. No. They are getting there on their own. 253 00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:17,306 They don't need any extra pressure. 254 00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:18,670 The Kiss Cam's gonna work. 255 00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,400 I mean, think about it. 256 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,069 Put yourself in Sam's shoes. 257 00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:23,340 How so? 258 00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:26,140 Imagine you're, like, this lonely guy, 259 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:28,340 not a lot of friends, socially awkward, 260 00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,880 everyone thinks you're weird. 261 00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,410 Okay, I will imagine that. 262 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,080 And then one day, out of the blue, this girl shows up, 263 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:39,089 and you think she's the coolest person you've ever met. 264 00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:41,689 Right, yes. And the more you spend time with her, 265 00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:45,090 the more you realize this girl kicks ass. 266 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,960 She's awesome. You really like her. 267 00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:49,630 Okay. And it builds, and it builds 268 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,430 until, one night, she's sitting right next to you... 269 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,499 like, as close as I am to you right now. 270 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,140 Mm-hmm. And everyone's looking. 271 00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,980 You'd go for it. Right? 272 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,640 Well, no, not necessarily. 273 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:05,650 Not if I was unsure about how she felt about me, 274 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,050 or was scared to death of losing her as a friend, 275 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,850 and also pretty frightened of her in general. 276 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,320 What? What? 277 00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,990 Anyway, let's put it to a vote. 278 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:16,060 Um, all against. 279 00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,660 All for. 280 00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:21,400 Okay, well, I suppose I have no choice 281 00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:22,646 but to accept the will of the group. 282 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,400 This is a democracy, after all, 283 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:26,370 so, yeah, consider the matter settled. 284 00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:28,339 - Craig! - Whoa! 285 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,610 - Hold on! - What the [BLEEP] 286 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,270 No! You're wrong! These are two very shy people! 287 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,139 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] 288 00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,680 - Oh! - I'm sorry. 289 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,150 I'm very sorry. That was unprofessional. 290 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,080 And I'm completely out of line. 291 00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,880 Frankly, I am ashamed of myself. 292 00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:43,420 No! - Oh! 293 00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:45,090 - You open that cabinet! - No! 294 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,550 - Yes. - No, you'll ruin this! 295 00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,960 Do not put me in there! No! 296 00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:51,030 - Get him in. - No! No, no! 297 00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,900 Ah, you're making a huge mistake! [LOCK ENGAGES] 298 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,360 Let's get back to work. 299 00:10:56,370 --> 00:10:58,370 You guys, I... I [SIGHS] 300 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,900 I-I don't get the hesitation, right? 301 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,170 You love the concept. 302 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,569 And there's hardly any overhead. 303 00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:05,840 There's no tables, no waiters, 304 00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,579 no bathrooms, no walls... 305 00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,450 Why aren't there any bathrooms? 306 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,379 Well, because it's a lazy river. 307 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,120 So people would just... 308 00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:14,720 Yeah. They just go. 309 00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:18,589 Son, I'm not sure this is for us. 310 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,720 Why? 311 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:22,789 It just seems like a... a very ambitious project, 312 00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:23,860 and we're worried... 313 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:26,730 That you might not be able to handle it. 314 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,330 Whoa. 315 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,270 Y-You don't think I can do this? 316 00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:35,470 You think I'm not... good enough? 317 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,009 You think there's something wrong with me? 318 00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:39,270 No. No, sweetie, 319 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,940 that's not what we were saying at all! 320 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:44,350 No, no, no, no. We... We... We love the river restaurant. 321 00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:45,950 Really? 322 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,150 Yep. Count us in, champ. 323 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,350 Okay, good! 324 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,619 Now, for the first 10 locations, I've budgeted... 325 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,890 - Are you kidding me? - You're gonna bankroll this?! 326 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,420 He's very passionate about it. 327 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,630 It... It seems unique. 328 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,500 That's just what you said about the Earth. 329 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,700 Okay, wait. This is way different from the Earth. 330 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:03,700 Mom, it's not. It's the same thing. 331 00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,230 Just another water circle with people scrambling for food 332 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,700 and shitting everywhere! 333 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,770 Look. 334 00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,180 Remember when he pitched this? 335 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,840 It was insane. 336 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,040 It makes no sense. 337 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,850 But we haaaad to be supportive 'cause he's the baby. 338 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,756 Yeah, let's just forget that he flunked out of school 339 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,050 and write him a blank check to start his own planet. 340 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,720 Hey, I started nine planets. 341 00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:27,436 Yeah, well, you only got one of them to work. 342 00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:29,060 Kids, that's enough. 343 00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:30,530 Your brother tried his best. 344 00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,790 That's what makes it so sad. 345 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,330 You guys are being too harsh. 346 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,860 How bad can Turd possibly be? 347 00:12:35,870 --> 00:12:37,130 We'll tell you. 348 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,400 [SIGHS] 349 00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:41,800 [CROWD CHEERING] 350 00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:43,540 Oh! 351 00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,140 Whoo! 352 00:12:45,210 --> 00:12:54,220 ♪♪ 353 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,550 ANNOUNCER: What-What-What-What. What the what?! 354 00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:00,890 It's time for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam! 355 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,330 Brought to you by T.J. and Piggie In The Morning. 356 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,330 Ooh, there's a cozy-looking couple. 357 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,640 Ho-ho! A little shy, I guess. 358 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,500 CROWD: [CHANTING] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 359 00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,370 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Come on. Kiss her. 360 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,910 Come on. Get it over with. 361 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:22,709 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 362 00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,450 Craig was right. They're choking. 363 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,750 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 364 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,950 [CROWD CHANTING "KISS! KISS!"] 365 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,820 You guys, it's gonna be fine, okay? 366 00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:35,360 Just relax. They're gonna do it. 367 00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,666 Wait, what the hell is this now?! 368 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,690 ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh. Look who's on the prowl! 369 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,760 Here comes a real stud, folks. 370 00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:44,570 It's M.C. Dunks. Go get 'em, Dunks! 371 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,570 [CHANTING CONTINUES] 372 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,970 Looks like M.C. Dunks wants a smooch. 373 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,780 Damn it, M.C. Dunks! Get away from them. 374 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,580 [CROWD BOOING] Announcer: Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. 375 00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:59,950 I said, "Get... away"! 376 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,850 [GROANS] Oh! 377 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,519 Aah! Help! 378 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,719 Ohh! Oh, help! Oh! 379 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:08,590 Oh! Oh, God. 380 00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:10,060 Oh. Aah! Hey, man. 381 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,506 - What are you... What... - Hey, you gotta help me. 382 00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,660 What are you talking about?! 383 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,685 - Oh, my... - Help me! 384 00:14:13,704 --> 00:14:14,704 - What? Stop! - Please! 385 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,300 - Aah! - Oh! 386 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,433 [CROWD "OHHS"] 387 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,870 M.C. Dunks is dead. 388 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:24,610 He's dead! 389 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,010 They killed him. 390 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,480 MAN: Murderers! 391 00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,180 [CROWD BOOING] 392 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,080 - They're leaving the arena. - It's over. 393 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:35,720 [BANGING] 394 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,620 Explain cows. 395 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,936 I don't want to do this anymore. 396 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,560 Tell Mom and Dad what a cow is. 397 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,090 [SIGHS] It's like a big dog you can drink from. 398 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,430 And what's a dog? 399 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,900 A small cow you can be friends with. 400 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,300 Tell them about giraffes. 401 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,570 What's a giraffe? 402 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,369 [SOFTLY] It's just a tall dog with... 403 00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,970 Louder. Speak up. 404 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,770 [LOUDLY] Tall dog with a leg for a neck. 405 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,710 [SIGHS] What is going on? What is happening? 406 00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:04,250 Are... Are these real animals? 407 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:06,850 You made all these things? 408 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,120 This is what you did with the 4 grand we gave you?! 409 00:15:10,145 --> 00:15:11,165 T-T-That's it. I'm done. 410 00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,190 I-I'm not talking about this anymore. 411 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,589 We're almost finished. 412 00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:17,460 Explain your pièce de résistance. 413 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,860 Explain humans. 414 00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:21,060 Oh, come on, Ricky. Just stop it! 415 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:22,199 You made your point. 416 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,200 These creatures live on his planet. 417 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:27,740 But only on the surface, because he forgot to build the middle. 418 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,940 So the inside is just fire. 419 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,610 Anyway, these humans are born nude... like, fully naked. 420 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,009 He gave them no instructions, 421 00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,550 and they just do whatever they want. 422 00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:37,610 What do you mean? 423 00:15:37,611 --> 00:15:39,150 He gave them free will. 424 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,220 Son, is this true? 425 00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:44,150 Why would you do that? 426 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,090 I thought it would make them happy. 427 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,690 I thought, with all that freedom, 428 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,490 they... they could do great things. 429 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:51,960 [SIGHS] 430 00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:56,100 Instead, they... they just mostly ended up... 431 00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,870 like me. 432 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:01,600 Ah... 433 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,680 [SIGHS] 434 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:14,649 It was supposed to be better. 435 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:17,490 [SIRENS WAILING] 436 00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:28,230 CRAIG: ♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket 437 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,370 ♪ You live on a shelf 438 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:31,370 ♪ One is wet, and one is dry 439 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,299 ♪ And you are both my friends 440 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:35,500 ♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs.... Hey. 441 00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,240 So, um... 442 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:39,980 I'm sorry we put you in the cabinet. 443 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,510 CRAIG: No, I'm... I'm sorry. 444 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,510 And, also, guys, I've been thinking about it, 445 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,110 and you're absolutely right. 446 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,580 The Kiss Cam really is our best shot. 447 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,990 - It failed. - Oh. 448 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:54,260 I mean, m-maybe it's not all bad. 449 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,190 I mean, traumatic events bring people together, 450 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:58,390 so... so maybe Sam and Laura can bond over this. 451 00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:00,400 Right? Maybe? 452 00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:04,470 That was horrible. 453 00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:05,670 Yeah. 454 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,739 So, uh, I guess you want to go home now. 455 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,610 What do you mean? 456 00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,739 Well, um, I don't know. 457 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,339 Because you just said that you were having 458 00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,540 a horrible time, so... That's not what I said. 459 00:17:16,610 --> 00:17:18,549 Well, that's what it sounded like you said. 460 00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:21,150 Okay, well, sounds like you want to go home. 461 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,820 What? What do you mean? 462 00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:25,350 Like, you're the one who keeps talking about going home, so... 463 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,596 Well, that's 'cause I-I was thinking 464 00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:28,090 that you wanted to go home. 465 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,959 W-Well, I kind of do, now. 466 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,760 - [SCOFFS] - [SIGHS] 467 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:35,760 Okay, fine. So, um... 468 00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:37,569 I'm going home. 469 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,300 Okay, fine. Go home. 470 00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,040 I'll go home. We'll both go home. 471 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,770 [SIGHS] 472 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,170 Okay. 473 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,910 Good night. 474 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,780 Okay. 475 00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:49,310 Bye. 476 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:54,579 ♪♪ 477 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,990 [TICKING] 478 00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,060 Goodbye. 479 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:05,060 ♪♪ 480 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:10,530 ♪♪ 481 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,470 You know what? 482 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,470 No. I'm not giving up. 483 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:16,140 Son, it's a bad restaurant. 484 00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:18,340 I'm not talking about Lazy Susan's. 485 00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:20,540 I know my planet is weird. 486 00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:23,150 I mean, it's frozen on the top and bottom, 487 00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:25,680 and the sky changes colors, 488 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,950 and people, they don't know what they're doing, 489 00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,219 and they mess up a lot. 490 00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,220 But I love it. 491 00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:34,090 And I'm proud of it. 492 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,160 And, come on. Giraffes are cool. 493 00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,090 I mean, if you don't get giraffes, 494 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,300 if you can't find the joy 495 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,560 in a tall dog with a leg for a neck, 496 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,570 then I feel sorry for you. 497 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:47,239 I mean, you guys can pick on me all you want. 498 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,840 But don't pick on Earth. 499 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,110 'Cause it's here to stay. 500 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,639 I'm not gonna blow it up. 501 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,510 You were gonna blow it up? Well, yeah. 502 00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:56,710 I got this whole gold-ball thing 503 00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:00,380 that is setting off this asteroid that's coming to... 504 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:03,250 You know what? It's over your head. 505 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,790 [DOOR OPENS] 506 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:09,590 [SIGHS] 507 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:12,130 How are we gonna fix this? 508 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,060 ♪♪ 509 00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:17,470 [DOOR CLOSES] 510 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:21,340 ♪♪ 511 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,010 Did someone order a miracle? 512 00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:25,410 The bet's off. 513 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,740 I'm here to save the world. 514 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:33,520 [GRUNTS] - O-Okay. Okay. 515 00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:37,350 - Oh, um, it's not gonna... - Ah. 516 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,289 CRAIG: Okay. [CLANK] 517 00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:41,889 - Ah. - Ah! Aah. 518 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,089 - Oh, no! - Aah! 519 00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:44,030 - Don't hurt yourself. - Stop it. 520 00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,360 That's just... Okay. 521 00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,630 Whew! Damn it. Rosie! 522 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,008 It's sealed... permanently. 523 00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:51,040 Remember? 524 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,299 [SIGHS] Shit. 525 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:54,640 [CLANG] 526 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:55,800 Okay. 527 00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:59,140 Oh, how's this thing going? 528 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:03,610 [TICKING] 529 00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:10,390 A basketball game became a horror show tonight 530 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:13,260 when a beloved mascot died in screaming agony 531 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,860 in front of hundreds of fans. 532 00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:18,460 James "M.C. Dunks" Morowitz collapsed suddenly 533 00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:21,060 during tonight's game due to what doctors diagnosed 534 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:23,800 as an "explosive rupture of the appendix." 535 00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:26,470 The mascot has already been permanently retired, 536 00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:29,400 as psychologists believe even seeing his image 537 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,670 may trigger scarring flashbacks for those unlucky enough 538 00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,940 to have witnessed his nightmarish demise. 539 00:20:35,010 --> 00:20:38,150 Sports, ironically, is next.