1 00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:03,010 I want to do more to help. 2 00:00:03,010 --> 00:00:06,210 I will transfer you to the Department of Answered Prayers. 3 00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:07,750 Impossibles go all the way to the top. 4 00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,080 And so, if anyone can handle them, he can. 5 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,890 I decided to blow up Earth. I guess that's it. 6 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:15,890 If I answer one of these "Impossible" prayers, 7 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,090 you spare Earth. 8 00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:18,490 It's a bet. 9 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,230 I really like this girl. 10 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:22,900 Okay, love prayers never work. 11 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,030 But related prayer. 12 00:00:24,030 --> 00:00:26,200 I really like this guy. 13 00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:28,900 Okay. This could work. 14 00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:41,650 Rosie, if anyone comes looking for me, 15 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,050 tell them I'm in a meeting. 16 00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:45,850 With God! 17 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:51,060 Religion... Stupid, dangerous, pointless. 18 00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:52,260 Just [bleep] everything up. 19 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,730 Hey, I got all your missed calls. 20 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:55,530 - What's the emergency? - Love you, Bill! 21 00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:57,730 Have you heard of this guy Bill Maher? 22 00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,870 The talk-show guy? Yeah. 23 00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:01,140 Do you think he's funny? 24 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,403 'Cause I've been watching his stuff, 25 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,210 and I don't know about these jokes. 26 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,210 You mean the jokes about you? Oh, no. 27 00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:08,010 - I don't care about that. - I mean 28 00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:11,280 No, I just... I just don't... I don't think he's funny. 29 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,020 So, what do you want to do? 30 00:01:13,020 --> 00:01:16,550 Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking about "doing" anything. 31 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,290 I'm just... But now that you bring it up, 32 00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:21,290 what's that thing that where we can, uh... 33 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,160 you know... Kill him? 34 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,760 Whoa! Sanj! 35 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,430 Did you just drop the "K" bomb? Wow! 36 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:30,300 Wouldn't want to get on your bad side, Ice Man. 37 00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:32,570 Ai-ai-uh-uh! Whoo! Uh! 38 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:33,840 Ooh! Freezer burn. 39 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:36,640 But, yeah, kill him. 40 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,710 Okay. Well, the good news is, 41 00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:40,580 Bill Maher's already scheduled to die 42 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:43,180 along with everyone else, when the Earth explodes in 13 days. 43 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:45,110 You know what's funny, is that, 44 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,250 you know how sometimes, like, a day can feel so long? 45 00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:50,920 Okay, I'll go find a way to kill him. 46 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,120 Ice Man. 47 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,790 I love you, buddy. 48 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:56,120 Okay. 49 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:29,560 Okay. 50 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,160 If we're gonna get these humans kissing, 51 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,560 we need to know more about them. Right. 52 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,900 First up, we have Laura. 24 years old. 53 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,970 Works at an escape room called "Solitary Confunment." 54 00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:41,300 Listen up, ya jailbirds. 55 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:44,310 A couple of ground rules, see? 56 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:46,370 Don't touch the actors, see? 57 00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:49,910 And if you're looking for some clues, just ask the... 58 00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:51,450 warden. 59 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:52,650 End clip. 60 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,520 What about Sam? What's his deal? 61 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,320 So, Sam is also 24 years old. 62 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,850 He was born with extra teeth, 63 00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,920 and he seems to really love his grandmother. 64 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,660 Yahtzee! 65 00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:06,330 Oh, this might be harder than we thought. 66 00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:08,930 Well, look, neither of them are particularly socially adept. 67 00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:11,730 But I ran a compatibility check, 68 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:14,870 and they scored a 98%. 69 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:17,670 Whoa! They have so much in common. 70 00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:19,540 They both pretend to text in elevators 71 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:21,210 in order to avoid potential small talk. 72 00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:22,740 They were both accidentally omitted 73 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,150 from their high-school yearbook. Dang. 74 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,950 They laugh at the same insurance commercial, 75 00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:27,750 they cry at the same car commercial, 76 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:31,290 and they sing along incorrectly to the same dumb commercial. 77 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,090 ♪ Chewing some gum and having a fun ♪ 78 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,220 Ooh, they both love gye-ros with extra green onions. 79 00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:37,830 I think it's pronounced "jai-ros" but yes, 80 00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,523 and they both have matching pollen allergies. 81 00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,300 No wonder they want to be together. 82 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,370 Unfortunately, they are both so shy 83 00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:46,430 that they haven't actually communicated 84 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,170 since the night they met. 85 00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:50,170 What are they waiting for? 86 00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,970 A sign. 87 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:54,240 Cool. How does it work? 88 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,650 We send them subtle clues to gently influence their actions. 89 00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:00,650 - Huh. - Yeah! 90 00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:02,250 Now, on the night they met, they had 91 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,720 a fascinating conversation about the game of badminton. 92 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,320 Let's have a listen. 93 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,720 So, I hit the badminton thing with the badminton racket, 94 00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:12,130 and I was like, "Badminton's fun. 95 00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:14,200 I think I like badminton." 96 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,330 Wow. I-I've never played badminton, 97 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,400 but I really want to now. 98 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,130 - You should! - End clip. 99 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:20,740 They spoke of badminton. 100 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:23,410 Thus, if we remind them of badminton, 101 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:25,410 they will see it as a sign... 102 00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:27,480 A call to arms. 103 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,810 Each other's arms, as it were. 104 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:32,550 Yeah. I mean, I don't know. 105 00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:35,220 The game begins. 106 00:04:40,090 --> 00:04:43,690 So, I found some build-up in Bill Maher's left ventricle. 107 00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:45,160 Looks like all we have to do is thicken it up, 108 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,630 and he'll have a massive heart attack by end of day. 109 00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:50,030 Wow, that's great, Sanjay! 110 00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:52,170 So we could explode his heart... Mm-hmm. 111 00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,500 ...or his lungs... 112 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,040 or his penis. 113 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,300 Explode his penis? 114 00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:58,370 Whoa, Sanjay! 115 00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,710 Now, that's an idea! 116 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,440 Oh, no. I don't know if, uh, that's... Rosie! 117 00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:03,180 ...something that... 118 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:04,910 Wow, you're not gonna believe this. 119 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,780 Sanjay, tell Rosie your idea about Bill Maher. 120 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:11,790 About his penis. 121 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:17,190 I guess, uh... my idea... 122 00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:19,730 is to explode his penis. 123 00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,600 Wow. I know. 124 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,130 Ice Man is on the warpath. 125 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,370 Better go handle that. 126 00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:32,540 So, uh, I guess, uh, we should probably get started. 127 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,280 No. This is all you. 128 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,610 This is insane! 129 00:05:37,610 --> 00:05:39,550 I'm an executive. 130 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,220 Have fun! 131 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,290 Gust. Gust. 132 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:48,490 Breeze. Zephyr. 133 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,160 Quarter-breeze. Updraft. 134 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,030 Yes! Boo-yah! 135 00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:55,560 In a mere six hours, I've successfully blown 136 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:57,830 a badminton birdie from a rooftop court 137 00:05:57,830 --> 00:06:00,440 all the way to Laura's living room. 138 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,870 That is what I call a sign. 139 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,240 Mmm. What is that? 140 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,440 It's a mustard packet. It's a little treat. 141 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,580 You do something good, you get a little reward. 142 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,580 Here. Have one. 143 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,650 Oh, hello. Look. It's happening. 144 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,990 Hmm. 145 00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,990 Okay. Onto the next sign. 146 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,930 Craig, okay, I've been doing research, 147 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,730 and it seems like people never pick up on signs. 148 00:06:29,730 --> 00:06:32,330 Okay? No matter how obvious they are. Look. 149 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:33,800 Ooh! 150 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,610 'Tis a crow-y day, indeed. 151 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:39,340 Well, time for the theater. 152 00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:40,880 This will be a normal night. 153 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,810 See? This badminton thing is not gonna work. 154 00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:45,750 We need to be bolder. 155 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,020 What? 156 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,820 Eliza? 157 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:50,950 Out of my way, black cat. 158 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,690 I'm late for my fun play. 159 00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:17,510 Hey, colleagues! 160 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,120 Ahh! I'm Sanjay from upstairs. 161 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,190 Love what you guys do down here. Oh, thanks. 162 00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,390 Um, we... we hardly ever get acknowledged, so... 163 00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:28,920 Listen, I'm gonna need you to explode Bill Maher's penis. 164 00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:31,060 What? It's important. 165 00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,600 Um, sir, I-I think there's been a misunderstanding 166 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,060 about what we do here in Genitals. 167 00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,600 Our powers are extremely limited. 168 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,070 We mainly just try to enforce puberty. 169 00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,740 Well, I need this dick exploded. 170 00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:44,540 So I guess you better get to it, huh? 171 00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:47,540 Thaaaaanks, guys. 172 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,010 Okay. 173 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,850 Do you guys know how to... 174 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,280 Ha! I figured it out. 175 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,020 We can get Sam and Laura together. 176 00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:58,750 We just need to engineer... a Chance Encounter. 177 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,960 Oh, no. Those are very risky. 178 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,160 Check it out. 179 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,160 They both live near the same hospital, 180 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,560 so all we need to do is get them there at the same time. 181 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,360 Step one... injure Laura. 182 00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:11,500 I found a melon near an open window along her route to work. 183 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,700 We blow it off, it clonks her on the head, 184 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,300 and she goes straight to the ER. 185 00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:18,840 With Sam, I figure we just pop his appendix. 186 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,180 They spot each other in the ER, 187 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:24,250 sparks fly, they kiss. 188 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:26,450 World saved. 189 00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:28,780 Okay. It's very... It's... I don't... 190 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:30,120 I don't know, though. Um... 191 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,790 Oh, don't worry. Appendixes are easy. 192 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,590 Look, there's even a button for it. 193 00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:34,920 Oh, you've seen that. 194 00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,590 Um... I know. 195 00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:39,130 This is not the kind of stuff you usually do, 196 00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:41,260 and it's a little, you know... 197 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,060 It's outside of your comfort zone, 198 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:44,800 and I get why you're scared. 199 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,730 Oh, no. No. I'm not scared. 200 00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:48,000 You're not? No. 201 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:50,670 I'm a bold, intrepid man with a strong mind. 202 00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:51,670 I'm a risk taker. 203 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,610 I'm a big, bad boy. 204 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:57,410 So that's a yes to the plan? 205 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,550 Yes. 206 00:08:58,550 --> 00:08:59,550 Yes? Yes. 207 00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,220 Yes! Yeah. 208 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,420 Oh, yes. Okay. 209 00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:06,690 I hope these lovebirds like hospital food. 210 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:11,890 Oh, Jean-Claude, I'd be lost without you. 211 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,560 Don't neglect the heel cap. 212 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,960 You know what they say. 213 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:16,230 It's not the clothes that make the man. 214 00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:17,900 It's the man who makes the... 215 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,170 Aren't you meant to be off dealing with that penis? 216 00:09:19,170 --> 00:09:21,100 Oh, yeah. I put someone on that. 217 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:23,840 Part of being an executive is knowing when to delegate. 218 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,910 Sanjay! Get in here! 219 00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:27,080 You don't have to come. 220 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,710 Look at this! Bill Maher, 221 00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:32,450 or should we say "Bill More," 222 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,320 was feeling cocky as he dragged 223 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,250 more than one hot dog down the street. 224 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,590 His dick grew! 225 00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:40,790 We asked the anti-religious provocateur 226 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:43,390 how he felt about his blessing, and the funnyman quipped, 227 00:09:43,390 --> 00:09:46,190 "God is as fake as my dick is huge." 228 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,200 Happy birthday to Bill Maher! 229 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,800 Come on! I don't know what happened! 230 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,130 I'll tell you what happened. 231 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:52,670 You messed up, man! 232 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,140 I thought you could handle this. 233 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,370 You're supposed to be an executive. 234 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:03,150 Stick around for more girthy gossip right after the break. 235 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:04,480 All right. 236 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,080 Melon is in position. 237 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,620 All we got to do now is hit this button, 238 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:11,090 and bonk! We're in business. 239 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,220 Laura approaching. 240 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:15,290 All right. Let's do this. 241 00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:18,960 Oh, no! Wait! 242 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,160 Um, we... We don't have enough power 243 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:23,170 to execute this sequence. What? 244 00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:26,770 We need to increase the voltage to the valve coil, 245 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:28,370 which is sort of down there a bit. 246 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,240 Oh. Oh, okay. 247 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,570 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, thank you. 248 00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:31,970 Dream team. Whoo-hoo, yes. 249 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,320 Huh. 250 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,660 I couldn't find a breaker box or anything resembling a... 251 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,330 What the 252 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:56,000 What happened? Oh, no! 253 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,330 Did it fall early?! 254 00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,800 Oh, what a disappointment for both of us. 255 00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:03,740 So, I had an idea for a sign 256 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,870 involving their matching pollen allergies. 257 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,740 Did you do this? 258 00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,280 Yes! Yes, yes! Why? 259 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,750 Because I... If I can be extremely blunt, 260 00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:16,280 I just thought that your plan was maybe possibly... 261 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:17,420 Stupid. My plan was stupid. 262 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,553 No. Is that what you're saying? 263 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,090 No, no, no, no, no. 264 00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:21,690 It's... It's just that, yesterday, you... 265 00:11:21,690 --> 00:11:23,760 You did cause that typhoon, 266 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,030 which unfortunately killed many people, and then, 267 00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:27,563 after that, you convinced God to blow up the Earth, 268 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:31,630 so I just think that a little bit of caution is advisable. 269 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,640 You're not cautious, Craig. 270 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,900 You're a coward. 271 00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:41,380 Oh, shit. My melon. 272 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,180 There goes our fruit salad. 273 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,150 Barbara's gonna be furious. 274 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:55,220 Oh. 275 00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,560 Good. There you are. 276 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,090 Um... 277 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,030 can we go back downstairs where it's not as dangerous 278 00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:04,170 and there's not ledges to stand near? 279 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:05,970 Uh, right you are. 280 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,970 I'm very sorry that I broke the melon. 281 00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,640 It's fine. 282 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,250 I was just trying to help, but, as usual, 283 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:19,650 I made things worse. 284 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:22,580 Eliza, you're down on yourself, and I get it. 285 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,720 If the world explodes, then you will go down 286 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,320 as history's greatest murderer. 287 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,120 Nobody wants that. From now on, 288 00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:30,730 I am just going to stay out of the way. 289 00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:31,860 No. Please no. 290 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:34,660 I need you in the way. Why? 291 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,330 Because you were right about me. 292 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,730 Right? I am not brave. 293 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:40,070 Not even slightly. But you are. 294 00:12:40,070 --> 00:12:41,200 And... And that... That's... 295 00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:43,270 That's what Earth needs right now. 296 00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:46,040 And I certainly can't do this without you. 297 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,610 Also, I've been thinking about it, and you were right. 298 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:53,280 A Chance Encounter really might work. 299 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,680 We just have to refine the execution a bit. 300 00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,020 How? 301 00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:00,160 Well, I don't know yet, but I was kind of hoping 302 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,960 we could figure that out together. 303 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,830 Okay. 304 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,170 Okay. Downstairs? 305 00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:11,430 Yes. Thank you, 306 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,440 thank you. 307 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,640 What the shit?! 308 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,440 Oh, I-I-I can explain. 309 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:25,450 We pumped Bill Maher's glands full of hormones in hopes 310 00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:28,650 that his penis would expand and then pop like a balloon, 311 00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:31,850 and everything was going smoothly, but then... 312 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,520 What?! 313 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,920 As Bill's penis became larger, 314 00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:38,730 it grew more... more beautiful. 315 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,200 At a certain point, we realized it would be immoral for us 316 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,860 to destroy something so perfect. 317 00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,200 I don't care. 318 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,670 This is coming from the top! 319 00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:48,340 Just blow it up! 320 00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:51,740 With respect, we refuse. 321 00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,810 This isn't the Department of Anuses. 322 00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:55,480 We have integrity. 323 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,750 Okay, fine! 324 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:59,210 I'll do it myself! 325 00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,350 Pump-O-Tron activated. 326 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:05,550 Why isn't this working? 327 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,620 You have to put your eyes up to the eye hole, 328 00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:10,760 and, uh, stare at the penis when you pump. 329 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,690 Why? 330 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,460 Uh, I don't... 331 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,830 How many pumps is this gonna take? 332 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,440 50,000. 333 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,510 50,000? 334 00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:26,040 Yeah. 50,000. 335 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,650 1. 336 00:14:31,650 --> 00:14:33,450 2. 337 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,520 Okay, here's our target... Bob's Hummus House. 338 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,720 It's perfect... Halfway between Sam 339 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,660 and Laura's apartments. And, most importantly, it serves their favorite food. 340 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,260 Gyros. 341 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,660 Let's get them there. 342 00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:46,460 First step... cut off their food supply. 343 00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:49,130 Oh. Dang. 344 00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,200 Laura's a little trickier. 345 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,730 She never has any food in the house. 346 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:52,930 Always orders in. 347 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,400 Lucky for us, there's a simple fix. 348 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:58,270 We blow up the satellite for her cellphone provider. 349 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,010 Oh, dang. 350 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:06,010 Nice work. Now to lure them in. 351 00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:19,500 Mmm, gye-ro. 352 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,960 Mmm. 353 00:15:22,970 --> 00:15:24,400 Jai-ros. 354 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:29,840 30 seconds to contact. 355 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,240 Wait. Why is Sam stopping? 356 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,180 Ooh, pizza. 357 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:34,380 No, no, no. What? 358 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,710 No, I've scanned the route three times. 359 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:37,650 Every place Sam likes should be closed by now. 360 00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:39,780 No, something's happening at Pizza Bongiorno. 361 00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:42,380 If you're just joining us, comedian Bill Maher 362 00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:45,520 is dead after a tragic and confusing incident 363 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,590 that has shaken the world of comedy and medicine. 364 00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:50,390 We have to close that shop. Now. 365 00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,590 Maher's family has announced that the funeral 366 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,800 will "definitely be closed casket." 367 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,200 Aaaah! 368 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,400 I did it. 369 00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:03,810 It's done. 370 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:07,010 Look. Look, he's turning back around. 371 00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,210 Yes! 372 00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:10,010 Awesome work. We're back on track. 373 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,150 Thank you, and this pizza gentleman 374 00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:12,350 is gonna live, right? 375 00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:14,420 We are back on track. 376 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,160 No! They're gonna miss each other! 377 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,230 What do we do now? 378 00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:25,190 I've got an idea. 379 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,030 Matching pollen allergies. 380 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,570 You're good. 381 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:35,570 Gesundheit. 382 00:16:35,570 --> 00:16:36,970 Sam? 383 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,640 Laura? 384 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,610 Wow. 385 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,250 Now what? 386 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:47,450 Now we just sit back and watch the sparks fly. 387 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,390 Remember the bathroom line at the party? 388 00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,260 Yeah, yeah. 389 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,200 It was long. 390 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,270 Ohh, no. 391 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:04,600 - Not like here. - Nope. 392 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,600 There's... There's no bathroom line. 393 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,270 Nope. 394 00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:12,610 I can't watch this. It's really hard to watch. 395 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,280 Can I maybe get your number? Do you want to hang out sometime? 396 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,680 Yes. 397 00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:22,480 What?! Yes! 398 00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:23,420 Yes! Go on! 399 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:24,890 Oh, yes! Never in doubt! 400 00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:26,750 Yes! Yeah! Yes! 401 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,360 Yes! Oh! 402 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,420 - Go! - Yes! 403 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:31,630 Go, Sam and Laura. 404 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:34,430 Oh, thank you. Help yourself to one of these. Oh, no. 405 00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:35,630 I'm gonna put you in your phone. 406 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:37,300 My... Your... 407 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,340 I'm gonna put my name as "Sam." Sam. Yeah. 408 00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:48,310 All right, Sanjay! 409 00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:50,450 I hope you're proud. You look proud. 410 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,650 Tell you what, I'm proud of you. Wow. 411 00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:56,050 I mean, I know how much you hated Bill Maher. 412 00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:57,990 How much he hurt you. 413 00:17:57,990 --> 00:17:59,990 And it would've been so easy for you 414 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,660 to just keep taking the hits, night after night, 415 00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,260 special after special. 416 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:05,660 But you stuck to your guns, 417 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:09,530 and that's why you are one heck of an executive. 418 00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:12,400 Thanks, God. 419 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,870 All right. 420 00:18:13,870 --> 00:18:16,340 I hope you're hungry for some gumbo. 421 00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:17,540 What? 422 00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:18,540 Aah! 423 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,740 For Lazy Susan's! 424 00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:22,543 Oh, I bet you thought I forget about our restaurant. 425 00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,880 Now, don't worry. I am still all in, 426 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,820 fully committed to our dream. 427 00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:30,950 Now, I need you to taste-test all of these gumbos immediately. 428 00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:33,960 They range from very thick to almost solid. 429 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,090 Can Rosie taste some of the gumbos? I'm allergic. 430 00:18:37,090 --> 00:18:39,760 Well, that's more for you. 431 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,160 Ah, love you, buddy. I love you. 432 00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:44,970 Uh-huh. 433 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:47,170 Oh, and let me know if you find my tweezers. 434 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:48,840 Oh, okay. 435 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,170 No, no, no, no. 436 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,710 Rosie, Rosie. Rosie, this is ridiculous. 437 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,510 Okay, I'm not even hungry. 438 00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,580 I ate a full lunch. 439 00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:57,850 My arms are in a sling. 440 00:18:57,850 --> 00:19:00,050 I've got to come at this mouth-first?! 441 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,520 This is crazy! 442 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,320 I'm an executive! 443 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,790 Good morning, good morning. How's it going? 444 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,920 She's already texting him. 445 00:19:07,930 --> 00:19:09,460 Oh, nice. 446 00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,760 Oh, thanks. 447 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:21,140 Oh! I am so sorry. 448 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,470 No, don't, uh... 449 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,540 ...worry about it. 450 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:29,210 Who's this guy? 451 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,550 I don't know. 452 00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:33,080 You know, it's funny. I... 453 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,020 I ran in here to get out of the rain. 454 00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:40,490 And once we started talking, the rain stopped. 455 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:43,420 Maybe it's a sign. 456 00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:44,490 Maybe. 457 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,500 Not a sign. Not a sign. No. No. How? 458 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,000 How would that be a sign?! No, it's not! It's not a [bleep] sign! 459 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,830 Pizza-shop owner and philanthropist 460 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,300 Vincent Alfonsi is fighting for his life tonight 461 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,040 after his appendix ruptured, 462 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:01,040 leaving him stranded for hours inside his darkened pizzeria. 463 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,240 Alfonsi, known for the Thanksgiving pies 464 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:06,320 that he distributes personally to the city's neediest children, 465 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,450 will never walk again. 466 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,250 In my 20 years as a journalist, 467 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,320 I've never seen such a beloved community fixture suffer 468 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,520 so randomly and horribly. 469 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:18,060 It makes one question everything. 470 00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:19,260 Sports is next.