(eerie music)
(low thudding)
(slow rock music)
Subtitles by explosiveskull
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(crying)
Poor baby.
Baby.
(screaming)
(screams echoing)
Anyone for popcorn?
(laughing)
Oh, it's you.
Ha ha, I dropped my popcorn.
Oh, well you never know when a girl has to protect herself.
(laughing)
Well, okay, boys and girls.
It's time,
it's time for some scenes from some midnight stories
that will leave you on a roller coaster,
that will leave you scared for life.
90 minutes of terror and fun
with plenty of gore, screams, and mmm,
a little nudity for you boys.
(laughing)
So, sit back and enjoy grindhouse double bill.
Two stories.
We have Manhunt,
the story of a playboy stockbroker
that's, he's been a naughty boy.
Bam bam.
And he kidnapped and drugged,
being abducted in a tunnel of man-eating rats
and oh, I hate rats.
So, sit back and enjoy the flash and the blast
of a grindhouse movie story.
(projector running)
(thunder crashing)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(clock ticking)
(yawning)
What the fuck has happened to me?
Who the fuck's done this to me?
I'll fucking kill him.
What is that noise?
It's driving me mad.
Help me.
Someone, please help me.
(phone ringing)
Aw, shit, shit.
You motherfucker.
(groaning)
Help me.
There must be somebody out there.
Can you hear me?
Please help me.
Huh, what was that?
Ah, I can't see a thing.
Get away from me.
What is it down there?
What's down there?
Help me someone, please help me.
Shit, it's rats.
I hate rats, always have.
The little fuckers.
Ah, Christ, they could me with little sharp teeth,
pointy teeth, wanting to kill me.
Get away from me, you bastard.
Get away.
I'll kill the fucking lot of you.
Help me, someone, please help me.
(phone ringing)
(groaning)
(screaming)
Don't stop.
Don't stop ringing.
Come on, come on.
Don't.
(grunting)
Come on.
(phone ringing)
(grunting)
Yes.
Hello?
[Mr. Friend] Hello, Sam.
Who is this?
[Mr. Friend] You don't remember me, Sam.
How disappointing.
Know you?
How could I be expected to know you?
I don't even know where I am,
but I need help.
There's rats down here, how many I don't know.
[Mr. Friend] Well, I do, Sam.
It's probably thousands, all wanting something to eat
and once they smell blood, especially fresh blood,
it'll drive them mad till they get what they want
and it sounds like you're on the menu, my boy.
Who are you?
[Mr. Friend] Shall we say a friend?
A friend you'll need at the moment, Sam.
Wouldn't you say that was true?
What do you want?
[Mr. Friend] As I said, friendship.
Don't play games with me.
[Mr. Friend] Games, Sam?
I'm not playing games.
I'm deadly serious.
In fact, I'm so serious, I'm willing to bet your life on it.
Who are you?
[Mr. Friend] You don't know?
No, no.
I don't know.
[Mr. Friend] How absence makes the mind forget, Sam.
So, why don't you just call me, Mr. Friend.
(laughing)
Okay, friend.
So, how you gonna get me out of this?
[Mr. Friend] I'm not, you are.
Don't you play games with me, you fucker.
Oh, no.
No.
Shit.
I'll show the fucker to fuck with me.
Oh, shit.
Can't see a thing.
(phone ringing)
[Mr. Friend] You gonna listen to me now, Sam
or tell me the length of your cock,
'cause your time is ticking away.
Tick tock tick tock.
Okay, just get me out of here.
[Mr. Friend] So, you want out of there?
Why?
Too dark for you?
There's no light down here
and I can't see a thing.
Hundreds of those rats could come scurrying back.
Okay, just get me the fuck out of here.
[Mr. Friend] Now, Sam, behave
or I'll leave you on your own again.
Understand?
(projector running)
Okay, okay.
Just get me out of here before the rats come back.
[Mr. Friend] Oh, they'll come back, Sam,
I promise you, and soon.
What do you mean?
[Mr. Friend] They can smell blood and in 10 minutes
the area that you're sitting in will be full of it,
I can assure you of that.
What do you mean, 10 minutes?
[Mr. Friend] Have you not heard a ticking noise
since you woke up?
Yes.
[Mr. Friend] Well, look above you, Sam
and see my little surprise I have for you.
Simple, simple, but effective.
What is it?
[Mr. Friend] Quiet, Sam.
I'm talking.
As soon as the arms on the clock reach 11:30,
the alarm will go off,
detonating a small charge inside the box,
which will smash the container,
causing the contents to pour all over you.
What contents.
[Mr. Friend] Time is wasting, Sam.
You only have 10 minutes and then the box explodes.
What's in the box?
Don't tell me it's rats, you fucker.
[Mr. Friend] Let's just say a surprise, shall we?
Bastard.
[Mr. Friend] How long do you think you're gonna stop
your little furry friends from you eating you, Sam,
with one hand tied to the wall.
(grunting)
Ow.
(projector running)
Right, let's see, you fucker.
I'll get help on my own.
Hello, 911?
I need the police.
It's an emergency.
I'm being held captive against my will
by some madman who's trying to kill me.
[Mr. Friend] Aw, Sammy, don't say things like that.
It will hurt my feelings.
What?
I...
[Mr. Friend] You though you had dialed the police?
No, Sammy.
All your calls go directly to me I'm afraid.
Fucker.
[Mr. Friend] Sammy,
language like that will get you killed.
What do you want from me?
[Mr. Friend] What do I want?
Well, that's simple, Sammy.
Play the game.
Just play the game before the alarm goes off.
What have I ever done to you?
[Mr. Friend] Just play the game, Sammy,
before it's too late.
What do you want me to do?
[Mr. Friend] Ha ha, no, Sammy.
What do you want to do?
I don't understand.
[Mr. Friend] Well, do you want to live or die?
What sort of question is that?
[Mr. Friend] A reasonable one, Sammy.
A reasonable one.
So, which will it be?
I want to live, of course.
[Mr. Friend] I thought so.
Well, let's start, shall we?
The first thing is that you need to have a little help.
I can't expect you to get out of there
without a little help, can I, Sammy?
Come on, damn you.
The time is ticking.
[Mr. Friend] Okay, Sammy.
Let's begin.
Good, good.
[Mr. Friend] Oh, by the way, how's that pain in your side?
Is it still hurting?
How did you know about the pain in my side?
[Mr. Friend] Pull your shirt up
and use the light from the phone
to see where the pain is coming from.
What have you done to me?
[Mr. Friend] Do you see a black shape against a wall?
Yes.
[Mr. Friend] If you look in your top pocket,
you'll find a razor blade.
Cut the stitches and remove the key inside your stomach.
Then unlock the box and something inside
will help you get out of here.
You bastard.
[Mr. Friend] Now now, Sam.
I'm only here to help you.
If you speak to me like that again,
I won't assist you any more.
Okay.
(grunting)
(screaming)
[Mr. Friend] Well done, Sammy.
By the sound you're letting out,
you must have the key.
Your time will come.
[Mr. Friend] Of course it will.
Now back to business.
Open the box and let us continue this little game of ours.
What the hell is this?
[Mr. Friend] You want out, don't you Sammy?
Well, you now have the means.
How the fuck am I gonna get out of here with this lot?
[Mr. Friend] Each item will bring you nearer to freedom
if you decide to use it,
but if you use it wrongly, then death is your only option.
This won't fucking cut butter.
[Mr. Friend] Maybe not,
but it will cut through flesh and bone if you try it.
Are you fucking mad?
You want me to cut off my hand?
[Mr. Friend] What choice do you have, Sammy?
Either you cut your hand off and stand a chance to live
or you decide against it
and the rats will have you for dinner,
especially when the box explodes.
What's in the box?
[Mr. Friend] Time is wasting, Sammy.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Have you ever seen a corpse stripped of its flesh, Sammy,
when it's still alive?
No rat is going to care if you're dead or not,
in fact they might prefer it if you were alive.
(laughing)
Go fuck yourself, you freak.
[Mr. Friend] Your time is running out, Sammy,
but what do I care?
I win this game either way.
Why me?
Why the fuck did you choose me?
[Mr. Friend] Oh, I'll tell when I'm ready.
I'll tell you when I'm ready to, Sammy.
There's no point, Sammy.
It won't break.
Your only option is to cut your hand off
then seal the wound with a portable welder.
Go fuck yourself.
[Mr. Friend] It won't hurt, Sammy.
Not if you do it right.
Oh yeah?
Well, you do it then.
(laughing)
[Mr. Friend] I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor
in these difficult times.
Why do you think I packed the syringes for you?
For in each one, is a powerful pain killer
that will kill the pain, but it will take three minutes
to take effect and you've only got five minutes left.
So, what will it be, Sammy?
Live, but without your left hand
or be eaten alive by your little furry friends?
You're sick, you know that?
You're sick, you bastard.
[Mr. Friend] Tick tock, Sammy.
Tick tock, tick tock, Sammy.
Tick tock.
No.
No, I can't.
[Mr. Friend] You've got less than five minutes, Sammy,
and the pain killer takes three minutes for it to work.
How long do you think it will take to saw through your arm?
A minute?
Maybe two?
How good at carpentry were you at school?
(heavy breathing)
I won't forget you for this, you fucker.
(grunting)
Your time will come.
[Mr. Friend] Time comes to all of us, Sammy,
but now you have a problem.
There's three minutes left on the clock
and you have another two minutes
before the pain relief takes hold.
What are you going to do?
Cut before the alarm goes off?
Are you strong enough to take the pain?
Remember, the longer you leave it,
the less time you have.
Of course, you could wait till the last minute,
so you only feel part of the pain,
but then if you're not quick enough,
the contents from the box will still cover you.
(laughing)
What a fun game this is.
It's rats in the box.
I know it is, you fucker.
It's rats.
(heavy breathing)
(screaming)
(alarm ringing)
(box exploding)
(groaning)
(laughing)
Bastard.
[Mr. Friend] So, I lied.
(laughing)
(record scratching)
(vintage waltzy music)
(wind blowing)
(eerie music)
(phone ringing)
(grunting)
[Mr. Friend] Good to see
you got through the first part of the game, Sammy.
Why are you doing this to me?
[Mr. Friend] Have you not worked it out yet, Sammy?
No.
[Mr. Friend] You will in time,
which is something you don't have a lot of
at the moment, Sammy.
So, what next?
[Mr. Friend] Well, if I'm not mistaken,
you only have a matter of minutes to get away from there
before you furry little friends pay you a visit,
but don't leave the bag behind.
You'll never know what you'll need
for the next part of the game.
(laughing)
There, you're seriously out of luck, you fucker.
There's nothing there.
[Mr. Friend] That's what you think.
Oh, shit, there's rats, hundreds of them.
[Mr. Friend] Time to get out I would say, Sammy.
(intense orchestral music)
(growling)
(coughing)
(water splashing)
(intense orchestral music)
(growling)
You worked it out yet, Sammy,
or are you still oblivious to the reason
that you're here?
I don't understand.
[Mr. Friend] The syringe was not only full
of a pain killer, Sammy,
but sodium amytal.
So, every time the pain becomes too intense for you,
you're also administering a truth drug as well,
with fantasy side effects.
Why, why are you doing this to me, you bastard?
[Mr. Friend] Let's say that within time
you might understand,
but then again, it might all be too late.
(low ominous music)
(wind blowing)
You better get out of there
before more of your furry friends come back.
The place must be smelling like an abattoir by now.
That's what I'm doing.
But why?
[Mr. Friend] Why what, Sammy?
Why are you doing this to me?
Why?
[Mr. Friend] All will be revealed, Sammy.
All will be revealed.
(water dripping)
(phone ringing)
[Sam] What?
[Mr. Friend] How's the pain, Sammy?
Had to take another syringe yet?
[Sam] When are you gonna get me out of here?
[Mr. Friend] You have a few tasks to achieve yet, Sammy.
[Sam] Don't fuck with me, you cunt.
[Mr. Friend] What did I tell you.
You speak to me like that again and you're on your own.
You understand?
Do you understand?
[Sam] Yeah, okay.
[Mr. Friend] Well,
let's have no more of these disagreements, Sammy.
There's a game to play.
Anyway, I'm your friend, remember,
and friends don't argue, do they?
[Sam] Okay, friend, what do you want me to do next?
[Mr. Friend] Now that's better,
nice and respectful.
Real good, in fact.
So, what about another game?
Oh, if we must.
What do you want me to do?
[Mr. Friend] If you make a bomb,
it should clear the rats for at least a few minutes.
I don't know how to make a bomb.
[Mr. Friend] It's easy, Sammy.
All you got to do is attach the sharp edged stone
to the canister, then throw it.
When it lands, the stone will detonate the gas
inside the can as it pierces the tin.
Then bang, you can watch the little bastards
go up in flames.
(screaming)
(bomb exploding)
(eerie music)
(wind blowing)
[Sam] Okay, I'm coming up an iron staircase.
[Mr. Friend] Well done, Sammy.
You're getting to the surface.
Freedom at last.
[Sam] Yeah, with no thanks to you.
[Mr. Friend] Now, Sammy, don't be like that.
You'll be a better man when this is finished.
[Sam] What, with no hands?
[Mr. Friend] Everybody has got to sacrifice something
for enlightenment.
Even god gave his only son, Sammy,
to save the people of this world.
So, a hand is nothing, is it?
[Sam] We'll see what you're gonna say when we meet.
(laughing)
[Mr. Friend] You are witty, Sammy.
What makes you think that you're ever going to meet me?
[Sam] Because the world isn't big enough.
(laughing)
[Mr. Friend] Oh, Sammy, you're funny.
(laughing)
[Sam] Ow.
[Mr. Friend] What's wrong?
[Sam] Just the pain.
[Mr. Friend] Getting bad, Sammy?
[Sam] I can cope.
[Mr. Friend] Of course you can.
[Sam] What's that, feeling pity for me?
[Mr. Friend] Me, Sammy?
No, but I don't want you dead.
Well, not yet.
That ain't gonna happen.
So, why?
So, why me?
[Mr. Friend] Why?
Yes, why me?
Why are you doing this to me?
Did I fuck your wife
'cause you couldn't give her something that she wanted
like a big fat juicy cock?
(laughing)
Yes, that's it.
I fucked your wife with my big fat cock,
right into her pink flamingo
and she squawked like a bird in paradise.
(laughing)
You pathetic bastard.
[Mr. Friend] I'm glad to see that you can still find the
funny side to life, Sammy.
I don't have much option, do I?
[Mr. Friend] Okay, Sammy.
In front of you, you'll see a door.
Freedom.
[Mr. Friend] Not so quick, Sammy.
The game ain't over yet.
Aw, you fucker.
Aw, shit.
Aw, shit, it's rats.
I hate rats.
Aw, fuck, a rat.
Jesus, I hate rats.
What is going on?
Oh, there's more of them.
Shit.
What is happening now?
What?
(rats squeaking)
[Mary] Help me.
Mary?
Sammy, help me.
(gun firing)
(screaming)
(crying)
(phone ringing)
[Mr. Friend] Game over, Sammy.
Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
[Mr. Friend] Why?
You have the audacity to ask me why?
You remember my son
that you killed like a thief in the night.
You thought nobody knew.
Well, his wife knew.
Remember her?
You should.
You fucked her enough before you killed my son.
Now your life is as dead as his.
No.
(low ominous music)
(wind blowing)
(eerie music)
(gun clicking)
No, no.
(crying)
(screaming)
(heavy rock music)
(screaming)
Oh, it's you again.
What did you think of Manhunt?
It's gruesome, isn't it?
Well, that was a warning for all of you money-men.
The green stuff isn't just everything.
Sometimes we need a little red.
It helps.
(projector running)
Hello, all my furry friends.
My name is Cyril from Cyril's Cut and Blow Dye.
Your friendly hairstylist, just a 112 feet from this cinema
and I would like to make you the offer of the month
directly from Cyril, that's me.
For only $28.48, I can give you the back, clack and sack
treatment that everyone has been talking about.
Why give the lover of your choice a mouthful of straw
or hair between their teeth,
when you can come to Cyril and have it all shaved off
for as little as $28.48.
So, have that pinball look that everyone is talking about.
So, making it easier to slip in and out of all those tight
little situations.
(laughing)
You know, it's easier at Cyril's Cut and Blow Dye,
your friendly hair salon.
Hello, my name's Sharon from Cyril's
and for all you girls out there
with an overgrown bush that needs pruning,
for only $16.84, I can offer you the Brazilian look.
So, if you want your bush in the shape of a heart, a dart,
or even a starting pistol, Sharon is the girl to do it.
At Cyril's, we're here to please,
and at $16.84, give the partner of your choice
the look he desires.
[Both] So, come to Cyril's
and get your hairstyles at Cyril's Cut and Blow Dye,
your friendly hairstylist just 112 feet from this cinema.
Hair removal is also our specialty at Cyril's.
(projector running)
(bird cooing)
(thunder crashing)
(dog barking)
(man screaming)
(growling)
(woman screaming)
(gun firing)
[Man] Buy Scream magazine.
Blood, guts, gore, and a lot more.
(religious music)
♪ Jesus. ♪
Hello, it's me, Jesus from Gates of Heaven Pizzeria
and I wanna make you an awesome offer.
Yes, for only $11.98, you can receive
our double-topped whopper plus extras.
That's double-toppings in red wine,
blessed by the man himself
together with a free Coke or shake,
depending on your taste.
So, forget about the other choices on the high street
and go for the one true pizza
and choose Gates of Heaven Pizzeria
to make all your dreams come true.
Now you know what it's like to be blessed.
♪ Jesus ♪
(upbeat piano music)
(funky music)
(gun firing)
[Narrator] First, there was Reservoir Puppies,
then came Cracky Brown,
followed by Inglorious Bar Stewards,
Kill Phil, and Django Where's my Toilet Chain.
Then The Dreadful 18 popped up.
Now, Quintin Tarroteno brings you Michael Madsen
in his first musical.
(rock musical music)
♪ Got the feel of the flow ♪
♪ They tell me people really ♪
♪ I don't wanna go home ♪
Pulp Faction.
Together with an all-star cast,
they are the roughest, smoothest,
soft-shoe shuffle gangsters you will ever see.
(phone ringing)
Not only can they take a bullet to the head,
they can salsa like a hot tub of Tabasco.
Watch all your favorite gangsters dance the night away
as the story unfolds.
How a young boy from the wrong side of the street
wants to be a ballet dancer,
but his father won't let him.
Born into a mafia crime family,
the boy must learn to kill like his father
instead of doing the Lombarda, the sprinkler,
the microwave, and the windmill.
With these moves, it's on to Broadway,
but he is pulled back out again and dragged head first
into the sinister world of crime.
Only one man can help him, mafia assassin,
Pork-Pie Henderson, played by Michael Madsen.
Consider it done.
(tongue clicking)
As the head of Murder Not Incorporated As Yet.
Can he really help the boy?
Will his secret be unmasked?
Will the underworld find out that Pork Pie
is really a dance-loving vegetarian,
who was once one of the Dreamboy Strippers,
with a rosy tattoo branded on his butt.
Find out this and more when you watch
Quintin Tarroteno's Pulp Faction.
Coming soon to a cinema near you, hopefully.
(speaking foreign language)
(machine guns firing)
(heavy rock music)
(crowd cheering)
(machine guns firing)
♪ My choice ♪
♪ Put me down on knees ♪
♪ Seems hard to just to say you're right ♪
(speaking foreign language)
♪ You know it's a funny time ♪
(crowd cheering)
(machine guns firing)
♪ I was reading that there is no god ♪
♪ I was hoping for a painless death ♪
♪ I hope it keeps you up at night ♪
(bomb exploding)
(crowd cheering)
[Announcer] Okay, folks.
Here he is, acclaimed screen-god
and hunk, Robin Askwith,
star of Canterbury Tales, The Flesh and Blood Show,
Cool It Carol,
Horror Hospital,
Let's Get Laid,
Tower of Evil,
and not forgetting the one-time classic
of the silver screen,
Confessions of a Window Cleaner.
In this tale of mayhem,
murder and plenty of action,
it's smashing, it's head-turning.
That's right.
The king is back.
And baby, he's taking care of business
in Bulletproof Elvis.
That's right.
Robin Askwith is Elvis Presley
and he's ready to shoot the bad guys down.
(car engines revving)
(flamenco guitar music)
(guns firing)
(screaming)
[Man] You killed my brother, you motherfucker.
(guns firing)
(heavy punching)
You can't hurt me as much as you think.
Fucking keep that.
(gun firing)
Where is that motherfucker?
(laughing)
We'll see.
(gun firing)
(laughing)
See you.
You fucker.
(screaming)
(bomb exploding)
[Narrator] From out of the woods, they came,
a family of fun-loving cannibals.
They were The Texas Chainsaw Hillbillies,
a meat-eating clan that liked to sing and dance.
Watch this family go through a whole town
of good old boys and chew on each and every body part
they can get their hands on.
You're perfect.
[Narrator] From Chef Mario, the fun-loving opera cannibal,
you also have Bubba Big-Tongue,
(gun firing)
the roly-poly sheriff who likes to dance with his victims
before he has them for dinner.
Then you have Little Joe,
who likes to wear clown masks while he tortures his victims.
He's a slice and dice man.
Then, of course, you have Albert, The Arranger.
He gets all the victims to visit Terror Town
and Wrinkleville.
He's the brains behind this horrible conspiracy,
but I am sure you will like him.
If you like the taste of spare ribs with your movie,
this is the film for you.
Yes, it's The Texas Chainsaw Hillbillies
and it's coming to a cinema near you for Thanksgiving day.
(projector running)
Romeo, oh Romeo, where art though, Romeo?
Oh, there you are again.
Okay, well now we have a real grindhouse film
for all you lovers of sisterly pals.
Think, oh, Thelma and Louise.
The story consists of a stripper, a nun, a mayor,
and a sheriff, who has something harder
than the star on his chest.
(dance-y rock music)
(gun clicking and firing)
Wow, wow, doesn't that dancer dance good?
She uses that pole well.
You know, I would too if I was a stripper.
I would use that pole real well.
Right, bitch,
what you can you tell me about these killings?
I was at the chapel, helping the um, congregation
take their vows when I got that telephone call
from my sister.
She wanted to leave her husband,
but needed to speak to him first.
(sensual music)
[Woman] Patsy, you have a call from your sister.
Would you like me to take over while you answer it?
[Patsy] Yeah, thanks.
Yo, all these girls went to the Royal Academy.
The Royal Academy of what?
(laughing)
Buy some fucking tissues, will you?
Lola, is that you?
So, what did she have to say?
That she'd gone to his place of work, but he wasn't there.
Did she speak to anyone?
Oh, yeah, a friend of hers.
[Man] You got a name?
No.
Now, here comes a real slapper, no flapper, flapper.
(funky music)
[Man] Hey, gorgeous.
Hey.
Hi, stranger.
I thought you were gonna be out of town for a few more days.
What?
What, when, girl?
Spending money?
It happens.
Well, maybe you should take me along next time
and we'll see how bored I can get.
Maybe I will.
You got a cigarette on you, baby?
Sure.
I'm gasping for smoke, thank you.
So, listen, tell me all about it.
What did you get?
What did you spend daddy's money on, baby?
Nothing.
Nothing?
What do you mean, nothing?
Nothing at all.
Aw.
Thanks.
However, you got take out whatever offer there is.
You're not getting any younger,
winter's coming, so you better rub up warm
with those diamonds and furs, baby.
Well, maybe I'll take you along next time.
Fucking right you should, baby.
Thelma and Louise with money.
What do you say?
Yay.
[Both] Whoo!
Here we come.
(laughing)
I can just see it.
Have you seen Snakelips?
Isn't he out there somewhere?
Haven't seen him.
Baby doll, I don't know.
I mean, what do I know?
I've got to go.
I really need to speak to him.
You take care.
You take care, but just remember one thing,
you've had your sugar daddy for two years now.
I need my sugar daddy now before it's too late.
I wanna have a lot of money
before my pussy rots dry and I get old and haggard.
And you know what, I still do a pretty good
rough and tough backward flip, don't I?
She sure does.
I can vouch for that.
You see?
You can have Roy if you like.
Oh, sorry, I forgot.
You already have.
Darling, your husband has been with everybody
from time to time.
You're just the last one to queue, let's face it.
(laughing)
So he says.
Baby, he doesn't fuck around anymore.
His cock is all for you, baby.
I wouldn't bet on it, Angie.
Listen,
it's respect.
It's called respect, it is
and don't you ever forget it, baby.
So,
what happened next?
(car engine revving)
Wow, there's a guy with a ten-gallon hat,
with a two-pint head.
Let's go and get them, Lola.
Mighty fine horse and carriage you got here,
little lady.
[Lola] Well, thank you.
What can I do you for?
I thought I'd drop by and check out some of this famous
western hospitality I've been hearing about.
You came to the right place, ma'am, the right place.
Actually, I need my car fixed.
What's up with it?
[Lola] Lost its fan belt.
But it's still running, how come?
Well, luckily for me, I carry a repair kit.
Lemus is your man.
He can fix anything with a motor.
[Lola] So, where do I find him?
Just got himself shot,
but luckily it was with blanks and not real bullets.
Otherwise, you'd be a resident instead of a visitor.
Shame.
Never did have any luck.
You park up around the corner.
I'll get Lemus come see you as soon as he's finished
shooting up the town.
So, cowboy, is there anywhere for me to stay?
Hotel, down at the end of the street.
Got a coach-load of tourists for the festival,
but there's always room for one more.
It's been an experience.
Happy one, I hope.
One I'll be talking about for a long long time.
Nice to hear, ma'am.
(gun clicking and firing)
So, why did she kill the cowboy?
She wanted to kill him before he killed her first.
Then what happened?
Everything went dark and when she woke up,
she found herself in jail.
(funky music)
Deputy, hey, deputy.
What do you want?
I wanna get out of here.
I bet you do.
I can be very grateful.
Now here comes a sheriff
that really wants to be a pirate.
Remind you of anyone, Lola?
[Sheriff] How grateful?
Open the cell and I'll show you.
[Sheriff] Oh no, what do you take me for,
some kind of idiot?
No way, sister.
Then how about something else?
What?
Okay.
Well, how about it, big boy?
You can do that from in there?
[Lola] Put your cock through the bars, big boy,
and I'll suck you dry.
[Sheriff] Oh yeah, baby, give it to me.
(grunting)
Go, girl.
You really pulled that one.
So, she has very sharp nails
and the will to live, and the odds are against her.
But what I need to know is
where is she hiding, sister?
The only thing I know is that she went after him.
That was the last word she said to me.
Where?
I wish I knew.
Now, back to Las Vegas.
(funk music)
(rapid high pitched speaking)
That girl might not have any brains,
but she sure has a nice car.
But didn't you go after her?
What could I do, inspector,
a defenseless woman of god.
(car beeping)
(engine revving)
(upbeat dance-y rock music)
Here comes that ass-kicking sequence.
Hey, here.
Keep your eyes peeled, boys.
The bitch is supposed to be on her way.
I want her dead, her legs spread,
and her pussy burnt.
Do it.
[Group] Yeah.
(upbeat funk music)
I arrived on the evening
before the big boys race.
Shame I was about to crash and burn all their dreams.
(chainsaw revving)
Okay, boys, the bitch with a habit has arrived
and I'm gonna kick your ass.
(funk music)
(yelling and grunting)
(heavy kicking and punching)
(yelling and grunting)
(funk music)
okay, so I was captured.
Doesn't mean I was dead.
That bastard had me tied up like a chicken ready to hatch,
but that's cops for you,
big ideas and small dicks.
Yeah, it's time for daddy to exercise his rubber trunction
on your pink flamingo.
I wonder if that mayor is coming back for election.
What do you think?
I see your seduction moves still haven't changed, Roy.
Ah, scared my cock might be too big for you, little girl?
Don't worry, I can get a tire horn to widen the flaps.
(laughing)
Lola told me she needed a pair of tweezers
just to give you a handjob, Roy.
I gave her what she needed.
Oh, yeah.
Just 'cause you have a big wallet
doesn't mean you have a big pecker.
Face it, your cock isn't big enough
for us McClarons, baby.
I gave her what she needed, I told you.
Oh, yeah, money.
(funk music)
Well, your sister doesn't
have to worry about my cock anymore.
In fact, she doesn't have to worry about anything anymore.
That's it, boss.
Here.
Now it is.
And I've seen to the alimony as well.
(growling)
And now, it's time to taste that sweet bird of paradise
and you're gonna like it.
I don't think I'll even notice it.
(projector running)
Now, back to the scrapyard.
You sure about that, boss?
That girl's a nun.
I'm an atheist.
So, you killed all of Roy's men.
You've got some good moves.
Not expected from a nun, sister.
We're a pretty tight order.
So, are you a real nun?
Why don't you come over here, cowboy,
and let me give you a blessing.
[Sheriff] I'll bet you will.
What do you want?
A taste, like your boss?
Come over here and taste some honey from a pink flamingo
or are you scared you'll get stung by a queen bee?
Nah, I don't think so.
Why, you have nothing in between your pants,
just like that wrinkled up old loan shark.
No, it's all here.
It is?
All 12 inches of it, baby.
You sure you're not talking centimeters
after Lola got hold of you?
(dance-y rock music)
(grunting)
Looks like the sheriff has more to hide
than he's saying.
(heavy punching)
(grunting)
(funk music)
So, what you're telling me is
you discovered the whereabouts of your sister's husband,
hid, and waited for the police to arrive.
That's about it, inspector.
[Sheriff] Well, what are you gonna do with her?
[Roy] Dig another hole,
so she can be by her sister.
[Sheriff] Good, bitch deserves it.
[Nun] What do you want?
I've come to help you.
It was nothing to do with me.
I liked your sister.
She was a good girl.
But you didn't stop him killing her.
I couldn't.
Where's Roy?
In the car.
And the deputy?
Out getting the car ready for the race tonight.
(low rumbling)
Now, it's time for revenge.
No.
(gun firing)
(engine revving)
(gun firing)
Go, baby, go.
What a car chase.
(fast percussive rock music)
(gun firing)
She can not only shoot, but she can drive as well?
(screaming)
(engine revving)
That's it.
She got him.
(funk music)
(gun clicking and firing)
If you weren't a nun, I don't think I'd believe you.
Well, maybe you shouldn't.
What are you doing?
Think I didn't know that you and Roy work as a team?
(slow heavy rock music)
(gun clicking)
The detective was on the mayor's payroll.
I bet you didn't see that coming.
No!
(gun firing)
Now, that is what I call grindhouse.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
(classic rock music)