1
00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:45,584
(lively chatter)
2
00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:07,626
(chatter continues)
3
00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:25,792
(echoing laughter)
4
00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:37,292
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number one.
5
00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:38,709
(machine whirs)
6
00:03:43,626 --> 00:03:46,251
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number one.
7
00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:55,334
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number one.
8
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,584
Good morning, sir,
welcome to Waingel's Bank.
9
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,376
My name is Sheila.
How can I help you?
10
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,459
(choral music plays)
11
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,709
(phone rings)
12
00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:25,959
01632 960786?
13
00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:28,459
- (man) You all right?
- Yeah, all right. You?
14
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:30,792
- (man) Yeah, yeah.
- Do you want me to get him?
15
00:04:30,876 --> 00:04:38,501
- (man) Uh, yeah.
- Vince! Vince! Telephone!
16
00:04:38,584 --> 00:04:41,542
- (Vince) Is that Gwen?
- No, your dad.
17
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,376
- All right?
- (man) Don't ask. You?
18
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,376
(laughs) Yeah, you?
19
00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:59,459
(choral music continues)
20
00:05:06,792 --> 00:05:08,417
(Vince laughs in distance)
21
00:05:16,292 --> 00:05:19,751
(synth music)
22
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,334
(footsteps)
23
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:12,834
- (Sheila) What are you doing?
- Going round Dad's.
24
00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:14,084
What about supper?
25
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,209
What supper?
You didn't tell me anything?
26
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,459
Don't give me that! Of course you knew.
27
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,167
What else do I do every evening?
28
00:06:20,251 --> 00:06:22,251
Just put it in the fridge.
I can have it tomorrow.
29
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:25,334
Vince, you are pushing me to the edge,
do you know that?
30
00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:28,376
Eat your dinner,
then you can go to your dad's.
31
00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:31,376
- Leave it out, Mum.
- Well, what are you going to eat?
32
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,042
Stacy's making a curry.
33
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,417
Who's Stacy?
34
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,042
His new bird.
35
00:06:39,626 --> 00:06:40,751
He didn't tell you?
36
00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,376
(front door shuts)
37
00:06:55,876 --> 00:06:56,876
(tuts)
38
00:07:18,501 --> 00:07:19,709
(camera clicks)
39
00:07:21,626 --> 00:07:22,626
(camera clicks)
40
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:24,709
(camera clicks)
41
00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:26,959
(camera clicks)
42
00:07:58,126 --> 00:08:00,126
Oh! Freezing out there!
43
00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,876
(Vince) I thought you'd be back at six.
44
00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:04,834
Long queue in the post office.
45
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,876
You'd think it'd be empty
after Christmas.
46
00:08:07,959 --> 00:08:09,292
(Vince) Starving here!
47
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:13,709
Forgot already what you were
banging on about last night?
48
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,167
Fridge dinners and all that?
49
00:08:15,251 --> 00:08:18,501
Or have you gone off
the idea of stale food...
50
00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:22,667
Oh, sorry.
51
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:25,001
I didn't know you had company.
52
00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:27,209
How's it going, Gwen?
53
00:08:27,584 --> 00:08:31,167
- (Vince) She's modelling.
- Pardon me, then.
54
00:08:32,126 --> 00:08:34,584
I'm cooking for three then, am I?
55
00:08:35,251 --> 00:08:39,501
- Gwen? Vince? Anyone?
- Yes, please.
56
00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:41,501
Have you offered her anything?
57
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:43,626
We only just started.
58
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,626
Gwen, would you like a drink?
59
00:08:52,084 --> 00:08:53,084
Let's have a look.
60
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:56,584
(sighs)
61
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:05,876
Very good!
He's made you look really lovely, Gwen.
62
00:09:07,584 --> 00:09:09,251
I wish I had that talent.
63
00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,376
(Gwen moans softly)
64
00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:28,626
(Vince moans softly)
65
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:50,251
(Gwen moans softly)
66
00:09:51,209 --> 00:09:52,709
(Vince moans softly)
67
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:04,042
(Gwen moans loudly)
68
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,792
(phone rings)
69
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:29,209
(Sheila on answerphone)
You've reached 01632 960786.
70
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,751
I'm not in right now,
but if you leave a message,
71
00:10:31,834 --> 00:10:33,167
I'll get straight back to you.
72
00:10:33,251 --> 00:10:34,501
(answerphone beeps)
73
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:39,709
(man) This is a message for Sheila.
It's Adonis. Box number 1592.
74
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:42,542
I got your letter and your photo.
75
00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:44,167
I've got a few other dates this week,
76
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:46,331
but give me a call
and I'll see if I can slot you in.
77
00:10:46,751 --> 00:10:51,126
My number is 01632 960322.
78
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:16,626
(strong accent) A purchase on a horizon,
79
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,917
a panoply of temptation.
80
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:20,542
Can a curious soul desist?
81
00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:23,084
I'm just looking, thank you.
82
00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:26,376
The hesitation in your voice
soon to be an echo
83
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:29,292
in the recesses
of the spheres of retail.
84
00:11:46,084 --> 00:11:48,251
(hushed conversation)
85
00:12:04,876 --> 00:12:08,792
Imagine, 60 percent vanished
from this sensational garment.
86
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:14,209
In apprehensions
lie the crevices of clarity.
87
00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:17,834
(Sheila) Isn't it a little risqué?
88
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:21,709
A provocation.
For what else must one wear?
89
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:23,917
I'm just going on a date.
90
00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:31,001
A date? Well? And what kind of date?
Food and drinks?
91
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,001
Food and drinks, yeah.
92
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:35,626
An embellishment of occasion,
for instance,
93
00:12:35,709 --> 00:12:38,459
but also the emphasis
of comfort and pleasure.
94
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:42,751
Thus you will destroy two birds
with a stone.
95
00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:24,917
(shop assistant gasps)
96
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:30,459
Imagine, the dress is your image
97
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:34,709
and from me onto what you project
through an illusion.
98
00:13:37,376 --> 00:13:42,626
One sensation of mind,
one fabric in recollection of touch.
99
00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,042
(sighs)
100
00:13:44,126 --> 00:13:47,209
But this is how I see
your night romance.
101
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,709
I predict the fantasy.
102
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:53,834
Isn't it small? What size is this?
103
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,501
Thirty-six.
104
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:58,209
But I'm not a thirty-six.
105
00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:03,584
In a number is only
the equation of actuality.
106
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:08,376
Dimensions and proportions transcend
the prisms of our measurements.
107
00:14:10,251 --> 00:14:12,376
- You're not getting any more in?
- (tuts)
108
00:14:12,459 --> 00:14:14,709
(exhales)
109
00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:21,251
There's a lucky man somewhere
in the vista of this mysterious mirror.
110
00:14:22,376 --> 00:14:23,792
May I ask his name?
111
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:27,042
His name's Adonis.
112
00:14:27,126 --> 00:14:30,792
Adonis? I see him.
113
00:14:30,876 --> 00:14:32,334
I like him.
114
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:40,001
And it's not clinging too tightly here?
115
00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:43,917
Desist warning attention
to the askew perception of self.
116
00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:48,167
Lightest trivia
and the local vectors of frivolity
117
00:14:48,251 --> 00:14:51,209
are the topics
Adonis will be discussing tonight.
118
00:14:52,751 --> 00:14:55,334
I don't normally wear
this kind of thing.
119
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:59,709
Darings eclipse
the dark circumference of caution.
120
00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:04,626
Be bold.
Your date will compliment you.
121
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:26,251
(air escapes)
122
00:15:28,584 --> 00:15:30,709
(capsule rattles through tubes)
123
00:15:36,501 --> 00:15:37,501
Touch it.
124
00:15:39,584 --> 00:15:40,709
Feel it here.
125
00:15:58,626 --> 00:16:03,834
And may I interest you in other desired
supposes in our exclusive boutique?
126
00:16:03,917 --> 00:16:06,542
I'm fine for now, thank you.
127
00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:09,167
Then I would like you to announce
your locus of residence
128
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:11,959
followed by the numbers
to your telephone.
129
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,334
Sheila Woolchapel,
130
00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:18,792
16 Ferndale Road,
Thames Valley-on-Thames.
131
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:25,042
01632 960786.
132
00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,376
(hushed, echoing voices)
133
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,376
(abrupt silence)
134
00:17:10,959 --> 00:17:12,209
(metallic clunk)
135
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,126
(air escapes)
136
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,959
Thank you.
137
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:27,626
The pleasure is all mine,
Sheila Woolchapel.
138
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:32,042
Adonis will be waiting
and he will compliment you.
139
00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:39,792
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number one.
140
00:17:42,376 --> 00:17:44,751
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number one.
141
00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:46,084
(buzzer sounds)
142
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,876
(coins rattle)
143
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,126
(phone rings)
144
00:18:27,751 --> 00:18:30,459
(assistant) Sheila Woolchapel,
145
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:35,167
16 Ferndale Road,
Thames Valley-on-Thames.
146
00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:36,459
Telephonic code:
147
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:44,292
zero and one and six and three
and two and nine and six and zero
148
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:48,501
and seven and eight and six and stop.
149
00:18:49,626 --> 00:18:52,709
(Gwen) Well, maybe I can actually,
you know...
150
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:56,709
No, I'm not.
151
00:19:00,626 --> 00:19:04,167
I'm off. Your dinner's in the fridge.
152
00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:09,417
(Vince) What have you done to your hair?
153
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:11,667
Why?
154
00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:13,834
Looks like the council cut it.
155
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:15,917
Thanks.
156
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:18,667
You're not dating, are you?
157
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,334
Why? Aren't I allowed to?
158
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,584
Bit soon?
159
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:26,376
(exhales) I didn't know
there was a time limit.
160
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,084
I thought you wanted
to get back with Dad.
161
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:34,334
That was a while ago,
and obviously your dad had other ideas.
162
00:19:36,459 --> 00:19:42,001
Oh, and tell that femme fatale of yours
to get off the phone.
163
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:44,167
It's gonna cost me a fortune.
164
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:54,126
(Sheila on answerphone)
You've reached 01632 960786.
165
00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:58,584
I'm not in right now, but if you leave
a message I'll get straight back to you.
166
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,042
(answerphone beeps)
167
00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:02,209
(Adonis) It's Adonis again.
168
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:05,834
Amesos Greek restaurant, 7:30.
169
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:09,792
I'll be wearing a dark Donningtonio suit
and carrying a rose.
170
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:14,292
I'm tall, slim, short back and sides.
171
00:20:14,376 --> 00:20:17,084
If you don't find me, I'll find you.
172
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,792
Oh!
173
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,626
- (Adonis) Box number 1592?
- (Sheila) Yeah.
174
00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:40,667
- (Adonis) Did I scare you?
- No, it's fine.
175
00:21:40,751 --> 00:21:43,709
(Adonis) I've got some love vouchers
that will give us ten percent off
176
00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:45,417
as long as we share the same pudding.
177
00:21:45,501 --> 00:21:49,709
Pudding? Sounds good. Join me.
178
00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:01,751
(opens briefcase)
179
00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,834
(rustling)
180
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:10,584
- As promised.
- Oh, thank you.
181
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:20,167
- What?
- You look different.
182
00:22:20,709 --> 00:22:21,834
How?
183
00:22:22,751 --> 00:22:24,042
Well, your hair.
184
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:26,792
Hair grows back.
185
00:22:39,584 --> 00:22:40,751
(creaking)
186
00:22:45,292 --> 00:22:48,667
- Do you know what you're having?
- (Adonis) In a minute, OK?
187
00:22:49,584 --> 00:22:51,126
The moussaka looks good.
188
00:23:06,376 --> 00:23:08,459
(Sheila) So, you like dancing then?
189
00:23:09,792 --> 00:23:11,751
Not tonight, I sprained my ankle.
190
00:23:11,834 --> 00:23:15,959
God, I didn't mean tonight.
Just in general. You like dancing?
191
00:23:16,042 --> 00:23:17,042
Yeah.
192
00:23:24,084 --> 00:23:27,917
It says in your lonely hearts
advertisement that you like laughing.
193
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:30,084
Yeah.
194
00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:33,584
What kind of things?
195
00:23:34,126 --> 00:23:35,876
Funny things.
196
00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:39,209
- What about cooking?
- What is this, an exam?
197
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:44,417
(waiter) Friendly evenings, guests.
198
00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:47,667
Welcome to Amesos.
My name is Vlassis and you are?
199
00:23:48,959 --> 00:23:50,584
Sheila Woolchapel.
200
00:23:51,959 --> 00:23:53,167
Adonis Jackson.
201
00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:55,584
(Vlassis) And may I take
your lucky orders?
202
00:23:59,334 --> 00:24:00,334
Madam?
203
00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:04,626
Oh, there will be the tzatziki
for the starter
204
00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:08,042
and vegetable moussaka for the main.
205
00:24:08,126 --> 00:24:10,334
Instantly, madam. You, sir?
206
00:24:17,084 --> 00:24:20,084
Um... (clears throat)
I will come back for your lucky order.
207
00:24:26,417 --> 00:24:28,751
(Adonis munches noisily)
208
00:24:34,709 --> 00:24:36,792
(sighs)
209
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:09,334
Vince? Vince? Get a move on.
I'm desperate. Vince?
210
00:25:13,501 --> 00:25:17,001
Sorry, I didn't know
you were staying over.
211
00:25:17,084 --> 00:25:18,584
(Gwen) Didn't Vince tell you?
212
00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:21,501
Well, maybe I didn't hear.
213
00:25:21,584 --> 00:25:23,042
I hope it's not a problem.
214
00:25:23,126 --> 00:25:24,876
Of course not, no.
215
00:25:26,042 --> 00:25:27,084
Nice night out?
216
00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:30,167
Yes, thank you. Caught up with a friend.
217
00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:33,376
Where's Vince?
He didn't answer when I called him.
218
00:25:33,876 --> 00:25:36,459
He must've knocked himself out.
219
00:25:36,542 --> 00:25:41,126
It's always the way with him. As soon as
he comes, he's out for the count.
220
00:25:41,209 --> 00:25:44,417
Must be the pressure
of those mock exams.
221
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,001
It should get better by February.
222
00:25:47,542 --> 00:25:49,501
Did you get anything nice in the sales?
223
00:25:49,584 --> 00:25:51,001
Not much. You?
224
00:25:51,084 --> 00:25:53,626
I found a very tasteful
pair of Carpathian stockings
225
00:25:53,709 --> 00:25:57,417
from Dentley and Soper's.
Seventy percent off.
226
00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:00,501
Now that's what I call a bargain.
227
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:03,292
I'm sorry
if I was too long in the shower.
228
00:26:04,042 --> 00:26:06,959
I won't keep you waiting
as I know you're desperate.
229
00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:43,584
(metallic squeak)
230
00:26:49,834 --> 00:26:51,209
(metallic squeak)
231
00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:06,459
(creaking)
232
00:27:22,876 --> 00:27:25,084
(excited chatter)
233
00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:26,501
(applause)
234
00:27:48,501 --> 00:27:49,834
(sighs)
235
00:28:00,626 --> 00:28:03,251
- (Vince) What are you doing?
- You tell me.
236
00:28:03,334 --> 00:28:05,751
- How did this end up in here?
- (Vince) Eh?
237
00:28:06,334 --> 00:28:09,376
The next time your girlfriend
wants to try something on,
238
00:28:09,459 --> 00:28:11,251
how about asking me first?
239
00:28:11,334 --> 00:28:14,001
- (Vince) You got a screw loose?
- Don't talk to me like that.
240
00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:16,584
(Vince) Gwen wouldn't be seen dead
in something like that.
241
00:28:16,667 --> 00:28:19,376
- So how did it end up in there, then?
- How would I know?
242
00:28:19,459 --> 00:28:21,876
I don't like people
going through my things, Vince.
243
00:28:21,959 --> 00:28:25,917
- Touché! Neither do I.
- Don't you touché me.
244
00:28:26,001 --> 00:28:29,209
I've had enough of her
making a mini-bar from my wine
245
00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:32,126
and now helping herself to my wardrobe.
246
00:28:32,209 --> 00:28:35,542
She's turning my house into a boudoir
and I'm not having it.
247
00:28:35,626 --> 00:28:38,334
It's becoming a bit disgusting
if you must know.
248
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:39,417
Leave it out, Mum.
249
00:28:39,501 --> 00:28:41,792
No, I'm not going to leave it out,
young Vincent.
250
00:28:41,876 --> 00:28:45,209
I'll say it again
because nothing gets through your head.
251
00:28:45,292 --> 00:28:49,042
To be frank,
I find Gwen a bit disgusting.
252
00:28:49,751 --> 00:28:52,792
And the sooner
you take that on board, the better.
253
00:28:57,459 --> 00:29:00,334
(echoing voices)
254
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:11,751
(echoing yell)
255
00:29:17,917 --> 00:29:18,917
(Sheila) Hello.
256
00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:54,917
(Sheila) I hope you didn't move
without me.
257
00:29:55,001 --> 00:29:56,584
Don't get paranoid, Mum.
258
00:29:57,292 --> 00:29:59,709
Now where were we?
259
00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,376
Your turn, Don Juan.
260
00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:20,959
- Oh, my God, what's that?
- What?
261
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:23,251
That looks nasty.
262
00:30:24,167 --> 00:30:25,709
Just some sort of rash.
263
00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:27,542
Ugh, I hope it isn't catchy.
264
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:29,459
Yeah, what is that?
I saw it the other day.
265
00:30:29,542 --> 00:30:34,167
I don't know. An allergy of some sort.
Maybe the washing powder.
266
00:30:34,251 --> 00:30:36,917
- You should get it looked at, Mum.
- Don't scare me.
267
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:40,917
I'm not scaring you. Just get a cream
and Bob's your uncle. For your sake.
268
00:30:41,001 --> 00:30:43,292
(Gwen) My financial advisor
had something similar.
269
00:30:43,376 --> 00:30:45,542
Some kind of blood infection.
270
00:30:45,626 --> 00:30:47,501
Ended up having to
amputate her right arm.
271
00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:50,376
- (Vince scoffs) Don't give me that.
- Seriously!
272
00:30:50,459 --> 00:30:53,334
The doctor kept sending her
home saying it was some kind of allergy
273
00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,042
and she ended up really ill.
274
00:30:56,251 --> 00:30:58,459
But it's fine now.
275
00:30:58,542 --> 00:31:01,751
She eventually learnt to write
left-handed.
276
00:31:01,834 --> 00:31:04,126
Beautiful handwriting too.
277
00:31:04,959 --> 00:31:06,001
Your turn.
278
00:31:10,292 --> 00:31:11,417
(dice rattles)
279
00:31:25,334 --> 00:31:26,834
(Vince) Oh, dear.
280
00:31:30,834 --> 00:31:32,584
Tough decision.
281
00:31:43,959 --> 00:31:45,792
(whirs loudly)
282
00:32:02,001 --> 00:32:03,459
(Vince in French)
283
00:32:03,667 --> 00:32:05,417
(Gwen in French)
284
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,501
Do you have to talk French all the time?
285
00:32:13,084 --> 00:32:15,251
He has to practise for his A levels.
286
00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,376
(loud clanging)
287
00:32:26,584 --> 00:32:27,792
Actually.
288
00:32:28,334 --> 00:32:30,417
(washing machine whirs in distance)
289
00:32:31,376 --> 00:32:34,084
- Sorry.
- (exhales)
290
00:32:38,542 --> 00:32:40,209
- (laughs)
- (distant clatter)
291
00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,792
(Vince) What was that?
292
00:32:42,334 --> 00:32:44,542
- (Sheila) Turn it off.
- (Vince) I've turned it off!
293
00:32:44,626 --> 00:32:46,126
Pull the plug out!
294
00:32:47,292 --> 00:32:49,001
(scraping)
295
00:32:50,251 --> 00:32:53,667
Sit on it or something! Oh!
296
00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:57,126
- (slicing)
- (screams)
297
00:32:57,209 --> 00:32:58,709
(heavy thudding)
298
00:32:59,959 --> 00:33:01,126
(Vince) Mum!
299
00:33:03,459 --> 00:33:05,501
- (thudding intensifies)
- (Sheila groans)
300
00:33:12,376 --> 00:33:13,834
(Sheila screams)
301
00:33:15,459 --> 00:33:16,917
What's going on with this thing?
302
00:33:17,001 --> 00:33:18,917
(metallic screeching)
303
00:37:12,459 --> 00:37:15,376
(gasps)
304
00:37:17,376 --> 00:37:18,751
(exhales sharply)
305
00:37:20,834 --> 00:37:21,876
(exhales sharply)
306
00:37:23,876 --> 00:37:25,459
(exhales)
307
00:37:47,417 --> 00:37:48,792
(indistinct)
308
00:37:51,042 --> 00:37:53,751
- (chime)
- (automated voice) Till number two.
309
00:37:58,251 --> 00:38:00,042
(man) Thanks for coming in, Sheila.
310
00:38:00,126 --> 00:38:03,376
Look at that, still finding
pine needles everywhere. (laughs)
311
00:38:03,459 --> 00:38:07,334
All over our sofa back home as well.
Must get a plastic tree next year.
312
00:38:07,417 --> 00:38:09,501
Yeah, we must. How's it going, Sheila?
313
00:38:09,584 --> 00:38:11,584
- Yeah, everything's fine.
- (man) Ah.
314
00:38:12,001 --> 00:38:13,417
What happened to your hand?
315
00:38:13,501 --> 00:38:16,876
Nothing much.
Washing machine went bananas.
316
00:38:16,959 --> 00:38:19,667
Well, we know a very good repair company
if you need anyone.
317
00:38:19,751 --> 00:38:22,626
- What's that, Staverton's?
- Yeah. Staverton's Wash. In your area.
318
00:38:22,709 --> 00:38:24,810
They did wonders with our machine,
didn't they, Clive?
319
00:38:24,834 --> 00:38:26,917
Yeah, they did.
A really good mechanic.
320
00:38:27,001 --> 00:38:30,501
So how are things going? Do you feel
on top of things at the moment?
321
00:38:30,584 --> 00:38:32,376
Yeah, I think so.
322
00:38:32,459 --> 00:38:35,417
We didn't see you
at the Christmas bowling the other week.
323
00:38:35,501 --> 00:38:38,001
Oh, I think I had a lot on
with my son that night.
324
00:38:38,084 --> 00:38:40,126
Hmm. Interesting.
325
00:38:40,209 --> 00:38:43,626
Sheila, Pete Mathinson
spoke to us the other day.
326
00:38:43,709 --> 00:38:47,209
Now he's really impressed with how
you're all doing. Lots of good feedback.
327
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:50,709
Yeah, he also noticed how attuned you
were to the Waingel's Wavelength.
328
00:38:50,792 --> 00:38:53,126
Yeah. One thing he flagged
with us though.
329
00:38:53,209 --> 00:38:55,251
He wasn't sure about your handshake.
330
00:38:57,126 --> 00:39:00,042
Pete thinks you're doing really well,
likes the way you smell as well,
331
00:39:00,126 --> 00:39:03,209
but to tell you the truth,
the handshake did come up
332
00:39:03,292 --> 00:39:07,501
and Pete commented on how
perhaps it wasn't meaningful enough.
333
00:39:08,042 --> 00:39:10,959
Sheila, Pete wanted you
to have this article here.
334
00:39:11,042 --> 00:39:14,334
Um... It's about the importance
of a meaningful handshake.
335
00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:16,292
Sure, I'll take a look.
336
00:39:16,376 --> 00:39:18,209
(man) It's written
in a fun, easy language
337
00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:21,042
and there's a cartoon at the end
that summarises the key points.
338
00:39:21,126 --> 00:39:23,768
And Sheila, if you want, we'd be happy
to try out a role-play scenario
339
00:39:23,792 --> 00:39:26,667
- which involves handshaking.
- It doesn't have to be a bank scenario.
340
00:39:26,751 --> 00:39:28,631
We have a range of costumes
we could all try on.
341
00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:31,042
- It's OK, I'll practise at home.
- Hm.
342
00:39:31,417 --> 00:39:33,834
One other thing, Sheila.
343
00:39:33,917 --> 00:39:38,251
One of your colleagues noticed
that you tend to visit the ladies' room
344
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,834
prior to clocking out for feeding time.
345
00:39:41,917 --> 00:39:43,501
Who told you this?
346
00:39:43,584 --> 00:39:45,792
It wouldn't be professional of us
to say her name.
347
00:39:45,876 --> 00:39:49,542
I normally clock out
and instantly leave the building.
348
00:39:49,626 --> 00:39:51,417
Well, if it's a one-off we understand,
349
00:39:51,501 --> 00:39:54,626
but we just wanted to flag it up
with you, in case Pete finds out.
350
00:39:54,709 --> 00:39:56,542
A minute or two
might not seem significant,
351
00:39:56,626 --> 00:39:58,459
but when we spoke to your colleague,
352
00:39:58,542 --> 00:40:01,542
she did some calculations
and rightly reminded us
353
00:40:01,626 --> 00:40:04,917
that if these unwarranted toilet visits
were to take place
354
00:40:05,001 --> 00:40:07,334
at an estimate of
two minutes per visit,
355
00:40:07,417 --> 00:40:11,084
you would accrue
over four hundred minutes every year.
356
00:40:11,167 --> 00:40:14,501
And to tell you the truth, two minutes
for a visit to the toilet is generous.
357
00:40:14,584 --> 00:40:16,834
Well, in my experience
it's two and a half.
358
00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:18,751
I timed myself
right before this meeting.
359
00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:22,501
(sighs) It was a one-off,
I can assure you.
360
00:40:23,084 --> 00:40:26,126
Whoever it was who informed you
of my transgression
361
00:40:26,209 --> 00:40:31,001
obviously doesn't notice
that I'm regularly in ten minutes early.
362
00:40:31,084 --> 00:40:33,167
Maybe you could do the maths on that.
363
00:40:34,584 --> 00:40:37,417
- What do you think?
- Is fantastic.
364
00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:39,001
And the shawl?
365
00:40:39,084 --> 00:40:42,709
The shawlest vantage
praises January customer
366
00:40:42,792 --> 00:40:47,917
for she is in purchase
of our sacred domain. Cheers.
367
00:40:50,126 --> 00:40:52,042
It's a little tight
around the shoulders.
368
00:40:52,126 --> 00:40:54,959
I knew I'd need a size up
after Christmas.
369
00:40:55,042 --> 00:40:58,584
When your stature is emphasised,
it is my duty to provide you
370
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:03,209
with a notion of proportion
that reflects your ideal of dimension.
371
00:41:03,292 --> 00:41:04,709
Wait here.
372
00:41:36,626 --> 00:41:38,376
(eerie echoing noise)
373
00:41:38,459 --> 00:41:41,501
Our perspectives
on the spectres of mortality
374
00:41:41,584 --> 00:41:45,709
must not be compromised
by an askew index of commerce.
375
00:41:46,959 --> 00:41:48,792
- (ripping)
- (assistant gasps)
376
00:41:50,959 --> 00:41:51,959
I'm sorry.
377
00:41:53,001 --> 00:41:55,584
The model, the affliction.
378
00:41:56,417 --> 00:41:57,542
What happened?
379
00:41:59,251 --> 00:42:01,042
A calamity.
380
00:42:01,126 --> 00:42:05,501
Imagine. Jill Woodmere. Yes, she.
381
00:42:05,584 --> 00:42:09,417
Our range in garments she defined
through a rapture of display.
382
00:42:10,542 --> 00:42:15,167
And here, the last dress she wore.
Oh, how she adored it.
383
00:42:15,251 --> 00:42:16,751
I'm sorry.
384
00:42:34,667 --> 00:42:36,334
The rhombic coat?
385
00:42:37,626 --> 00:42:40,751
The rhombic coat, yes. I'll try it on.
386
00:42:41,209 --> 00:42:43,709
Sorry, one last thing.
387
00:42:43,792 --> 00:42:46,459
How many of those
dresses were in stock?
388
00:42:46,542 --> 00:42:49,167
One. Only the one.
389
00:42:49,751 --> 00:42:52,501
And the model wore that same dress?
390
00:42:53,167 --> 00:42:58,917
Yes. But imagine, she extensively
showered before that photograph.
391
00:44:43,167 --> 00:44:46,917
(moans)
392
00:44:53,542 --> 00:44:54,917
(Sheila) Vince?
393
00:44:55,001 --> 00:44:56,001
(knocking at door)
394
00:44:56,959 --> 00:44:58,209
Vince?
395
00:45:52,251 --> 00:45:54,084
(dialling tone)
396
00:45:54,167 --> 00:45:56,542
(gentle, old Greek music)
397
00:45:58,209 --> 00:46:02,292
Zach? Sheila, box number 6832.
398
00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:08,417
I have some love vouchers here
with some exciting discounts.
399
00:46:08,501 --> 00:46:11,292
That's if you don't mind
sharing a pudding with me.
400
00:46:23,584 --> 00:46:25,834
(vibrator buzzes)
401
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:39,459
- (moans)
- (vibrator buzzes)
402
00:46:41,001 --> 00:46:45,001
(moaning continues)
403
00:46:57,376 --> 00:47:00,167
- (Zach) You look familiar, you know?
- Oh, no, don't scare me.
404
00:47:00,251 --> 00:47:03,709
Seriously, I've seen you somewhere
before, I don't know where, but...
405
00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:05,001
Do you bank at Waingel's?
406
00:47:05,459 --> 00:47:07,876
Ah, I thought it was
something like that.
407
00:47:08,584 --> 00:47:11,917
I remember now.
You fined me for going over my limit!
408
00:47:12,001 --> 00:47:15,917
Oh, not me, I don't fine.
I just follow orders from above.
409
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:17,959
I think I still have a letter from you
410
00:47:18,042 --> 00:47:20,584
asking me to make an appointment
with your managers.
411
00:47:20,667 --> 00:47:23,417
You were kind of stern, but I liked it.
412
00:47:23,501 --> 00:47:24,542
(laughs)
413
00:47:29,709 --> 00:47:31,667
(distant moaning)
414
00:47:35,292 --> 00:47:37,084
(vibrator buzzes)
415
00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:04,042
(Gwen screams)
416
00:48:04,126 --> 00:48:07,292
(screams echo)
417
00:48:09,876 --> 00:48:10,959
(screams)
418
00:48:11,042 --> 00:48:14,001
- What happened? What happened?
- (screams)
419
00:48:14,084 --> 00:48:16,834
(Vince) It's OK, it's OK.
420
00:48:16,917 --> 00:48:20,292
- (Gwen pants)
- (Vince) Come here, it's OK.
421
00:48:20,376 --> 00:48:22,792
(slow song)
422
00:48:35,542 --> 00:48:38,376
It's hard to make friends in this town.
423
00:48:38,459 --> 00:48:39,792
I know.
424
00:48:42,459 --> 00:48:43,751
Is it just me?
425
00:48:44,667 --> 00:48:47,292
No, it's OK. Don't think about it.
426
00:48:49,292 --> 00:48:52,876
It's hard to make friends here,
it really is.
427
00:48:56,626 --> 00:48:59,376
You met many others through this?
428
00:49:00,501 --> 00:49:02,917
A few. You?
429
00:49:04,167 --> 00:49:06,084
One or two. (sighs)
430
00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:11,876
I don't need to meet anyone anymore.
431
00:49:13,126 --> 00:49:14,126
Me neither.
432
00:51:08,126 --> 00:51:11,251
"You who wear me will know me."
433
00:51:12,251 --> 00:51:13,709
What's that supposed to mean?
434
00:51:13,792 --> 00:51:15,542
(Zach) It's just a design feature.
435
00:51:15,626 --> 00:51:17,042
Cheap bit of mystery.
436
00:51:18,126 --> 00:51:21,042
You think anyone buying these things
gives a damn what it all means?
437
00:51:21,126 --> 00:51:22,376
(scrapes pan)
438
00:51:23,584 --> 00:51:25,334
Would you think I'm bonkers
439
00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,959
if I told you I think something's wrong
with that dress?
440
00:51:28,042 --> 00:51:29,084
(Zach) Of course not.
441
00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:32,751
I haven't met a woman who didn't think
there was something wrong with a dress.
442
00:51:36,167 --> 00:51:38,626
A woman who modelled it died.
443
00:51:39,376 --> 00:51:43,292
And? Half the clothes I bought in the
charity shop are from people who died.
444
00:51:44,417 --> 00:51:47,042
Don't run yourself around
all this hocus pocus.
445
00:51:47,126 --> 00:51:48,709
Personally, I like you in it.
446
00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:51,167
- Really?
- (Zach) Yeah, really.
447
00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:54,376
- You're not just saying that?
- (Zach) You look good in it.
448
00:51:55,376 --> 00:51:57,584
OK, you look good in most things,
449
00:51:58,084 --> 00:52:01,417
but that dress definitely shows you off.
450
00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:05,876
Put it on.
451
00:52:10,917 --> 00:52:13,501
Don't tell me you're scared of a dress?
452
00:54:46,459 --> 00:54:48,292
(Zach) You don't want to go
into town today?
453
00:54:48,376 --> 00:54:49,917
Oh, it's a nightmare on Saturdays.
454
00:54:50,001 --> 00:54:53,542
Why don't we stay here?
You know, acclimatise you to Vince.
455
00:54:53,959 --> 00:54:55,292
No one's rushing you there.
456
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:59,501
I just think it'll be good for him
to see me back on my feet a little bit.
457
00:55:00,417 --> 00:55:02,251
He was a little short with me
on the phone.
458
00:55:02,334 --> 00:55:04,376
- He's in a bad way.
- (man shouts in the distance)
459
00:55:04,459 --> 00:55:06,459
The separation really got to him.
460
00:55:06,542 --> 00:55:09,126
Not helped by my ex
trying to pit him against me.
461
00:55:09,209 --> 00:55:10,959
- (Zach) Join the club.
- (man) Darren!
462
00:55:11,042 --> 00:55:13,459
- (screams)
- (dog growls)
463
00:55:13,542 --> 00:55:16,001
- No!
- (man) Darren, get off!
464
00:55:16,084 --> 00:55:18,334
Get off! Get off, Darren!
465
00:55:19,751 --> 00:55:21,751
- Darren, get off!
- (fabric rips)
466
00:55:22,126 --> 00:55:26,501
- (Zach) Get off! Get off!
- (screams) My leg!
467
00:55:26,584 --> 00:55:28,001
- (dog growls)
- (Zach) Get it off!
468
00:55:28,084 --> 00:55:29,626
- (fabric rips)
- (screams)
469
00:55:29,709 --> 00:55:32,667
(man) Darren, you bastard! Darren!
470
00:55:32,751 --> 00:55:35,709
- (door slams)
- (Vince) Mum!
471
00:55:37,709 --> 00:55:39,209
- Mum!
- Up here!
472
00:55:40,834 --> 00:55:42,584
(Vince) Took me ages to get your stuff!
473
00:55:42,667 --> 00:55:45,959
They asked for my ID and everything
then they gave me some punk's rucksack.
474
00:55:46,042 --> 00:55:47,376
I've no idea why they...
475
00:55:48,251 --> 00:55:50,834
Vince, this is Zach.
476
00:55:51,542 --> 00:55:53,084
A friend from work.
477
00:55:54,001 --> 00:55:55,084
Pleased to meet you.
478
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:58,417
All right. Where do you want me
to put these, then?
479
00:55:58,876 --> 00:56:01,459
No point, they're all ripped to pieces.
480
00:56:01,542 --> 00:56:04,542
Eh? This one's not ripped.
481
00:56:04,626 --> 00:56:08,292
- Of course it's ripped.
- It's brand spanking new, almost.
482
00:56:12,084 --> 00:56:13,834
It should be ripped.
483
00:56:13,917 --> 00:56:16,751
The dog ripped it to pieces.
It should be ripped!
484
00:56:16,834 --> 00:56:19,626
I tell you, it should be ripped!
485
00:56:25,251 --> 00:56:26,376
(metallic squeaking)
486
00:56:41,251 --> 00:56:43,459
(metallic squeaking)
487
00:56:49,751 --> 00:56:51,709
(metallic squeaking)
488
00:56:51,792 --> 00:56:53,376
(pants)
489
00:56:53,459 --> 00:56:54,834
(metallic squeaking)
490
00:56:56,459 --> 00:56:58,834
- (pants)
- (metallic squeaking)
491
00:56:58,917 --> 00:57:01,751
(pants)
492
00:57:04,126 --> 00:57:06,251
(metallic squeaking)
493
00:57:14,459 --> 00:57:19,667
I have reached the dimension of remorse,
Sheila Woolchapel. The dress.
494
00:57:19,751 --> 00:57:23,376
I can't claim with its reacceptance
if its purchase is not evidenced.
495
00:57:23,459 --> 00:57:25,042
I had the receipt.
496
00:57:25,126 --> 00:57:26,792
I don't know where it's gone.
497
00:57:33,876 --> 00:57:36,459
Look, honestly, I don't need the refund.
498
00:57:36,542 --> 00:57:38,959
Just let me exchange it
for something else.
499
00:57:39,042 --> 00:57:41,959
A casual exchange seldom expresses
a lady's self-assurance
500
00:57:42,042 --> 00:57:47,959
- and her embodiment of fashion...
- You know what? Just take the dress.
501
00:57:48,042 --> 00:57:50,709
I don't need anything back,
just take it.
502
00:57:52,792 --> 00:57:56,459
Lamentations can be fairly addressed
to Miss Kolliston.
503
00:57:56,959 --> 00:58:03,126
Distinction avows her noble hearing.
Psst! Psst!
504
00:58:03,209 --> 00:58:04,417
Forget it.
505
00:58:15,417 --> 00:58:20,292
Like a whisper in an ocean,
like a feather in a storm,
506
00:58:20,876 --> 00:58:27,376
a dress of deduction finds its character
in a prism of retail abstraction.
507
00:58:28,459 --> 00:58:30,167
I don't understand.
508
00:58:31,376 --> 00:58:35,126
Miss Luckmoore
experienced a transaction of ecstasy,
509
00:58:35,959 --> 00:58:39,501
and I ask if you could
mutually sanctify her claim?
510
00:58:39,584 --> 00:58:45,001
Look, this is nothing personal,
but I'm done with the sales, thank you.
511
00:58:45,084 --> 00:58:50,209
But your dismissal of such a prestigious
consumerist festivity leaves me bereft.
512
00:58:51,209 --> 00:58:54,709
Did Miss Luckmoore
engage with the doctrine of the store
513
00:58:54,792 --> 00:59:00,459
and did the experience consolidate your
perception of the paradigm of retail?
514
00:59:01,042 --> 00:59:02,542
I've got to go back to work.
515
00:59:02,626 --> 00:59:06,001
Just a goodwill gesture
for the inaugural consumer.
516
00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:10,209
A fantastic offer,
I inferred to myself in jest.
517
00:59:11,084 --> 00:59:14,376
I just don't see
why I couldn't return this dress.
518
00:59:14,459 --> 00:59:19,792
The very purpose of this seasonal retail
occasion is to expunge.
519
00:59:20,167 --> 00:59:21,792
Returning what has already left
520
00:59:21,876 --> 00:59:25,834
the ladies' fashion boutique of Dentley
and Soper's Trusted Department Store
521
00:59:25,917 --> 00:59:29,292
goes against the nature of things.
522
00:59:39,709 --> 00:59:41,792
Such a pretty dress.
523
00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:50,084
I hope Adonis complimented you.
524
00:59:58,084 --> 00:59:59,209
Pitcroft!
525
01:00:03,876 --> 01:00:04,959
(door opens)
526
01:00:06,584 --> 01:00:09,126
- (door closes)
- How's your leg, Sheila?
527
01:00:10,876 --> 01:00:12,042
(man) Better, thank you.
528
01:00:12,709 --> 01:00:13,917
Clive knows the local vet
529
01:00:14,001 --> 01:00:17,042
and he can confirm that
he destroyed the dog on your behalf.
530
01:00:17,834 --> 01:00:19,292
(Clive) He also wanted you to know
531
01:00:19,376 --> 01:00:22,584
that he took great pleasure
in denying the dog its last biscuit.
532
01:00:23,751 --> 01:00:25,792
It must be a pain
not being able to drive.
533
01:00:25,876 --> 01:00:28,459
The doctor reckons
I can start back tomorrow.
534
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:32,792
Oh, good, good.
Um, Sheila, can we have a word?
535
01:00:34,917 --> 01:00:36,376
Of course.
536
01:00:39,417 --> 01:00:40,459
(sighs)
537
01:00:43,709 --> 01:00:44,876
How was your weekend?
538
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:46,959
Well, interesting.
539
01:00:47,042 --> 01:00:48,667
(Clive) Anything nice in the sales?
540
01:00:48,751 --> 01:00:50,834
Just a dress,
but that was the other week.
541
01:00:51,834 --> 01:00:53,042
Good bargains.
542
01:00:53,459 --> 01:00:56,417
Sheila, I was pleased to see your name
down on the bowling list again.
543
01:00:56,501 --> 01:00:59,126
Even though I don't think you
should be in Ruth's team, but still,
544
01:00:59,209 --> 01:01:01,959
we have a nice balance of numbers
this month, so well done.
545
01:01:02,042 --> 01:01:03,459
Should be an interesting match.
546
01:01:03,542 --> 01:01:05,667
Yeah. Looking forward to it.
547
01:01:05,751 --> 01:01:09,709
Now, Sheila, we caught up
with Pete Mathinson this morning.
548
01:01:09,792 --> 01:01:11,334
Really meaningful meeting, um...
549
01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:13,751
just reviewing where we're going
with various things.
550
01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:18,001
He was very impressed
with how you're getting on, all good.
551
01:01:18,084 --> 01:01:20,584
Only he mentioned that
you waved at his mistress
552
01:01:20,667 --> 01:01:23,792
just by Landrake's tuck shop
last weekend.
553
01:01:23,876 --> 01:01:26,126
Yeah, I remember, she waved back.
554
01:01:26,209 --> 01:01:30,876
Hm. You see, she asked Pete
to call up a meeting about the incident
555
01:01:30,959 --> 01:01:32,959
and we all came to the conclusion
556
01:01:33,042 --> 01:01:37,667
that the waving can only be construed
as informal salutation.
557
01:01:39,376 --> 01:01:41,084
I don't understand.
558
01:01:41,167 --> 01:01:44,584
Technically, the mistress of a boss
is classified as a superior
559
01:01:44,667 --> 01:01:46,334
according to company policy,
560
01:01:46,417 --> 01:01:50,126
hence her surprise
at such a casual mode of greeting.
561
01:01:50,209 --> 01:01:52,876
Yeah, she urged us to term it
as insolent salutation
562
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:55,251
but she gets ahead of herself sometimes.
563
01:01:55,334 --> 01:01:57,542
She smiled. She waved back!
564
01:01:57,626 --> 01:02:01,334
Sheila, when we worked
at the other branch in town
565
01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:05,542
we had a member of staff very similar
to you; diligent, hard working.
566
01:02:05,626 --> 01:02:09,917
Only, Clive and I noticed
a core of the inscrutable about her.
567
01:02:10,001 --> 01:02:12,167
Not remotely
on the Waingel's Wavelength.
568
01:02:12,251 --> 01:02:15,709
We didn't think anything of it until
we discovered she was in the habit
569
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:19,542
of injecting foolhardy substances
into her bloodstream on a regular basis.
570
01:02:19,626 --> 01:02:22,209
(Clive) Now we're not suggesting
you're inclined that way.
571
01:02:22,292 --> 01:02:26,751
But nonetheless,
a story shared and all that.
572
01:02:27,792 --> 01:02:30,459
And those mysterious toilet breaks
before feeding time.
573
01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:33,292
One mysterious toilet break.
574
01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:36,876
You would tell us
if there was something?
575
01:02:36,959 --> 01:02:39,751
Then we can keep Pete
and the Police Force out of this.
576
01:02:39,834 --> 01:02:44,001
Well, it's just been busy with my son
and the school holidays.
577
01:02:45,376 --> 01:02:47,834
What's wrong, Sheila? You can tell us.
578
01:02:47,917 --> 01:02:52,792
Nothing! Just a few bad sleeping dreams.
579
01:02:53,667 --> 01:02:55,126
Can you give us an example?
580
01:02:56,501 --> 01:03:01,251
Well, just this one the other night,
um...
581
01:03:02,584 --> 01:03:06,917
I was very close to my mother,
in real life, I mean.
582
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:13,126
My father died when I was young
and she and I grew even closer.
583
01:03:13,709 --> 01:03:15,334
I loved her dearly.
584
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:21,417
I didn't have enough space
to store all her things after she died,
585
01:03:21,501 --> 01:03:24,209
which always makes me sad.
586
01:03:24,917 --> 01:03:29,417
I gave everything to charity,
but wished I'd kept something.
587
01:03:30,584 --> 01:03:34,667
But in this sleep,
I found one of her old dresses.
588
01:03:35,209 --> 01:03:40,417
It smelt of her perfume,
which I hadn't come across in years.
589
01:03:40,501 --> 01:03:44,167
Brought me right back,
made everything feel all right again.
590
01:03:45,292 --> 01:03:50,042
I put the dress on
and I looked in the mirror,
591
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:51,876
but it wasn't me at all.
592
01:03:52,334 --> 01:03:55,001
It was my mother from the grave
593
01:03:55,084 --> 01:03:58,626
with the same jet-black dyed hair.
594
01:04:00,126 --> 01:04:02,751
I remember when she bought this dye.
595
01:04:02,834 --> 01:04:07,126
She was so fed up of the old ones
dripping off in the rain,
596
01:04:07,209 --> 01:04:11,917
but this one was permanent.
More than her flesh.
597
01:04:17,001 --> 01:04:22,376
I caught a bus and everyone hid
under their seats when they saw me.
598
01:04:22,459 --> 01:04:23,876
Racists.
599
01:04:23,959 --> 01:04:26,876
I stank of my mother's corpse.
600
01:04:27,209 --> 01:04:30,126
The stench made the driver vomit
601
01:04:31,167 --> 01:04:35,376
and we went off a cliff and I woke up.
602
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:41,917
And what colour was the bus?
603
01:04:42,459 --> 01:04:45,459
It was the colour
of Thames Valley-on-Thames.
604
01:04:46,917 --> 01:04:49,876
Yeah, it was that colour.
605
01:04:57,876 --> 01:04:59,292
(door slams)
606
01:05:07,834 --> 01:05:10,376
I'm dropping some stuff off
at the charity shop
607
01:05:10,459 --> 01:05:12,876
if you've got anything
that needs taking.
608
01:05:14,834 --> 01:05:17,292
Is that a yes or a no?
609
01:05:17,376 --> 01:05:18,709
(Vince) Maybe!
610
01:05:19,209 --> 01:05:21,501
Well, you go on Monday, then.
611
01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:26,459
And don't forget to bring the stuff
on the back seat. Yes?
612
01:05:27,126 --> 01:05:28,167
(Vince) Yes!
613
01:05:28,251 --> 01:05:32,834
OK. I'll see you in the morning.
I've left you some food in the fridge.
614
01:05:32,917 --> 01:05:34,209
(Vince) Where are you going?
615
01:05:35,042 --> 01:05:37,042
I'm gonna stay with someone.
616
01:05:37,584 --> 01:05:39,417
(Vince) What? You mean slaphead?
617
01:05:39,501 --> 01:05:41,417
His name's Zach.
618
01:05:42,209 --> 01:05:44,167
(Vince) I thought you said
he was a mate.
619
01:05:44,251 --> 01:05:46,876
Well, he's something more than that now.
620
01:05:57,167 --> 01:06:01,959
(woman on radio) What I always do is,
because I love queueing for the sales,
621
01:06:02,042 --> 01:06:07,167
I find it really exciting,
and I have done it all night, actually.
622
01:06:07,251 --> 01:06:08,501
Yes, it's great fun.
623
01:06:08,584 --> 01:06:11,459
There's a great camaraderie, you know.
624
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:14,251
And everybody's good.
They keep your place
625
01:06:14,334 --> 01:06:17,751
while you go and get an all-night
coffee or something like that.
626
01:06:17,834 --> 01:06:23,251
But the advice I always give,
when you go in, don't follow the crowd,
627
01:06:23,334 --> 01:06:27,042
because they all go up
the main central escalator.
628
01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:31,417
But I always dive
to the side of the store
629
01:06:31,501 --> 01:06:35,876
where I know there's another staircase
and run up there to the first floor
630
01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:40,751
because I know what I want
because I'd been the week before
631
01:06:40,834 --> 01:06:44,084
and I knew I wanted
this, you know, particular dress.
632
01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:45,959
- And there it was...
- (Sheila gasps)
633
01:06:46,626 --> 01:06:49,959
(car engine revs)
634
01:06:53,667 --> 01:06:57,376
- (screams)
- (tyres screech)
635
01:06:58,334 --> 01:06:59,751
(screams)
636
01:07:00,667 --> 01:07:03,501
(glass smashes)
637
01:07:18,126 --> 01:07:21,251
(groans)
638
01:07:31,042 --> 01:07:32,292
(gasps)
639
01:07:35,417 --> 01:07:36,792
(groans)
640
01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:04,917
(phone rings)
641
01:08:12,167 --> 01:08:13,626
(ringing continues)
642
01:08:21,542 --> 01:08:27,084
(Sheila, upset)
You've reached 01632 960786.
643
01:08:27,167 --> 01:08:31,251
I'm not in right now, but if you leave
a message I'll get straight back to you.
644
01:08:31,334 --> 01:08:32,417
(answerphone beeps)
645
01:08:32,501 --> 01:08:34,667
(woman) Pick up the phone,
it's the Police Force.
646
01:08:34,751 --> 01:08:36,542
Pick up the phone this instant.
647
01:08:45,126 --> 01:08:49,001
- (shop bell rings)
- (man reads football scores on radio)
648
01:08:51,584 --> 01:08:52,876
(clothes rack squeaks)
649
01:09:00,126 --> 01:09:02,542
(assistant) If you need anything,
don't hesitate to ask.
650
01:09:02,626 --> 01:09:03,959
(woman) Oh, thank you.
651
01:09:09,751 --> 01:09:11,917
Oh, that does look nice on you.
652
01:09:12,001 --> 01:09:14,542
Really? I might freeze to death in this.
653
01:09:14,626 --> 01:09:17,834
Think about your summer cruise
along the Adriatic
654
01:09:17,917 --> 01:09:19,917
with the breeze running through
that dress
655
01:09:20,001 --> 01:09:23,626
as you sip your sparkling wine
with the captain on deck.
656
01:09:28,459 --> 01:09:32,251
- (shop bell rings)
- (door closes)
657
01:09:32,334 --> 01:09:34,876
(sighs) I can't afford a cruise
this summer.
658
01:09:35,667 --> 01:09:37,751
Well, if you need any help,
just let me know.
659
01:09:37,834 --> 01:09:39,209
(woman) Thank you.
660
01:09:46,709 --> 01:09:48,751
(man) All right, mate.
Just that, please.
661
01:10:08,584 --> 01:10:13,084
Welcome to Amesos, dear guest.
My name is Sandro. And you are?
662
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,959
Uh... Reg Speaks.
663
01:10:15,042 --> 01:10:16,834
(Sandro) May I take your lucky order?
664
01:10:17,626 --> 01:10:19,834
Just a kebab will be fine. And chips.
665
01:10:19,917 --> 01:10:21,626
Kebab and chips, instantly.
666
01:10:21,709 --> 01:10:26,876
Uh... Sorry, no bags on the table.
Is not nice. And drinks?
667
01:10:27,292 --> 01:10:31,959
- (men cheer)
- Reggie!
668
01:10:32,042 --> 01:10:37,251
(men chant) Down it! Down it!
Down it! Down it! Down it!
669
01:10:37,334 --> 01:10:39,292
- (cheering)
- (man) Oi, oi!
670
01:10:39,376 --> 01:10:40,542
I'm soaked!
671
01:10:40,626 --> 01:10:42,917
(man laughs)
Never mind, Reg. Never mind.
672
01:10:43,001 --> 01:10:48,542
As your best man, I come equipped,
excuse me, for every eventuality.
673
01:10:48,626 --> 01:10:52,959
You need new clothing?
Look no further. (laughs)
674
01:10:53,042 --> 01:10:55,042
I always knew you had a feminine side.
675
01:10:55,126 --> 01:10:58,001
What choice has he got with Babs around?
676
01:10:58,084 --> 01:11:01,501
Well, don't just look at it. I didn't
just buy it for the missus, you know!
677
01:11:01,584 --> 01:11:04,501
- I can't put it on in here.
- (mimics) "I can't put it on in here."
678
01:11:04,584 --> 01:11:06,018
- Go on, get it on.
- It won't fit me.
679
01:11:06,042 --> 01:11:08,126
It'll fit you,
don't worry about that, go on.
680
01:11:08,209 --> 01:11:10,334
Yeah, come on,
you big girl's blouse, get it on!
681
01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:13,376
- Come on, Reg! Don't let the side down!
- (laughter)
682
01:12:10,334 --> 01:12:13,917
(cheering)
683
01:12:16,459 --> 01:12:18,334
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
684
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,334
- Wait, where's the dummy?
- Oi! Clipper!
685
01:12:23,459 --> 01:12:25,917
(laughter)
686
01:12:27,251 --> 01:12:28,667
(man) Speech! Speech
687
01:12:28,751 --> 01:12:33,542
(men chant) Speech! Speech! Speech!
Speech! Speech! Speech!
688
01:12:33,626 --> 01:12:36,042
Oh, you bloody tosspot.
I'll do it, all right?
689
01:12:36,126 --> 01:12:39,626
Reg here has been hanging
around my house,
690
01:12:39,709 --> 01:12:44,751
or more specifically,
my daughter's bedroom, since he was 17.
691
01:12:44,834 --> 01:12:47,084
Now we all love Reg, don't we? Don't we?
692
01:12:47,959 --> 01:12:51,709
I mean, he always gets a round in,
good at five-a-side,
693
01:12:51,792 --> 01:12:55,792
and I gotta say,
he's always good around Babs.
694
01:12:57,001 --> 01:12:58,792
And that ain't no easy task.
695
01:12:58,876 --> 01:13:00,459
- You can say that again.
- (laughter)
696
01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:03,834
But seriously,
we've got a good 'un here.
697
01:13:04,751 --> 01:13:06,334
He's solid, our Reg.
698
01:13:07,876 --> 01:13:12,334
But if you ever, ever
mess with my Babs,
699
01:13:12,417 --> 01:13:15,626
I'll take you straight down,
make no mistake. You got that?
700
01:13:16,834 --> 01:13:18,501
Steady on, Bananas.
701
01:13:18,584 --> 01:13:22,209
No, no, it has to be said.
Best to get it out of the way now.
702
01:13:22,292 --> 01:13:25,167
- Now come on, son. Give us a hug!
- (men cheer)
703
01:13:25,251 --> 01:13:30,709
- No, no, no, come on, that's enough!
- Reg Speaks! I salute you! (laughs)
704
01:13:30,792 --> 01:13:33,376
- To Reg and Babs!
- (men) To Reg and Babs!
705
01:13:33,459 --> 01:13:35,792
And here's to your first divorce!
706
01:13:35,876 --> 01:13:37,709
Oi, oi! Less of that, all right?
707
01:13:37,792 --> 01:13:39,376
(disco music)
708
01:14:13,084 --> 01:14:15,501
(men jeering in the distance)
709
01:14:44,042 --> 01:14:46,334
(voice echoes)
710
01:14:46,417 --> 01:14:48,001
(echoing voice continues)
711
01:14:52,042 --> 01:14:54,001
(men laugh)
712
01:14:55,626 --> 01:14:59,042
(woman) But he doesn't have to roll
his eyes at every suggestion I make.
713
01:14:59,126 --> 01:15:02,251
It's always this "I know better"
attitude whenever I deal with Andre.
714
01:15:02,334 --> 01:15:05,959
At this rate, I'll get Reg to DJ,
assuming he recovers.
715
01:15:06,042 --> 01:15:08,334
It's a chamber of booze
and methane in here.
716
01:15:08,417 --> 01:15:10,584
I'm surprised
it hasn't killed the canary.
717
01:15:11,917 --> 01:15:13,251
No idea.
718
01:15:14,126 --> 01:15:17,292
He'll stuff it down him and it's always
the same. He never puts on any weight.
719
01:15:17,376 --> 01:15:20,251
No idea how the jammy bastard does it.
It's so unfair.
720
01:15:20,334 --> 01:15:21,459
(canary cheeps)
721
01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:25,084
Look, let me know if Andre is willing
to be more flexible with the music
722
01:15:25,167 --> 01:15:27,709
otherwise we don't pay. Simple as that.
723
01:15:28,459 --> 01:15:30,334
Exactly. See you later.
724
01:15:41,209 --> 01:15:44,542
Oi! Stop squeezing my spots, yeah?
725
01:15:44,626 --> 01:15:46,042
Knew that would wake you.
726
01:15:46,126 --> 01:15:47,834
Just ease it on, Babs.
727
01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:49,834
Good night, then?
728
01:15:50,251 --> 01:15:53,209
Wish I had a tape of you banging on
about how you weren't gonna drink.
729
01:15:53,292 --> 01:15:56,126
It's not the drink,
it's just a dirty kebab.
730
01:15:56,209 --> 01:15:59,251
Yeah, right. Don't know why
you hang out with that lot.
731
01:15:59,334 --> 01:16:01,042
You know what they'll get you into.
732
01:16:01,126 --> 01:16:04,376
We didn't do anything.
It's just a dirty kebab.
733
01:16:04,459 --> 01:16:06,792
Dirty kebab my arse, Reg Speaks.
734
01:16:06,876 --> 01:16:09,334
All you had to do
was not accept the drinks.
735
01:16:09,417 --> 01:16:11,542
I didn't want to let the side down.
736
01:16:12,542 --> 01:16:14,376
You gonna lay in bed like that all day?
737
01:16:16,417 --> 01:16:19,167
You know Andre
now wants to do a soundcheck?
738
01:16:22,001 --> 01:16:23,251
(groans)
739
01:16:23,334 --> 01:16:25,542
What's a... What's a soundcheck?
740
01:16:25,626 --> 01:16:27,209
He wants to check all the gear.
741
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:30,584
He says it takes three hours. It's gonna
cut right through the wedding.
742
01:16:30,667 --> 01:16:32,876
It's just playing records, innit?
743
01:16:32,959 --> 01:16:34,667
Well, you speak to him, then.
744
01:16:34,751 --> 01:16:37,417
I can't deal with
that weasel-mouthed diva any more.
745
01:16:37,501 --> 01:16:38,917
Every time I question something,
746
01:16:39,001 --> 01:16:41,667
he just comes back at me
claiming he's a perfectionist.
747
01:16:41,751 --> 01:16:43,084
Not now, yeah?
748
01:16:45,001 --> 01:16:47,792
- What's that?
- Huh? What?
749
01:16:48,376 --> 01:16:50,709
(screwdriver clicks)
750
01:16:57,459 --> 01:17:00,501
Oi! Cottrell wants to take you on.
751
01:17:00,584 --> 01:17:02,209
(sighs) About what?
752
01:17:02,292 --> 01:17:04,126
You didn't invite him to the stag.
753
01:17:04,209 --> 01:17:07,459
But, I-I didn't think
it was his thing.
754
01:17:08,417 --> 01:17:10,417
You try telling that to Cottrell.
755
01:17:36,334 --> 01:17:38,126
Gary said you wanted to see me.
756
01:18:02,126 --> 01:18:05,834
(woman) So how long's it gonna take
to get that spare whatever you call it?
757
01:18:05,917 --> 01:18:09,376
- Probably about ten days.
- (woman) Ten days?
758
01:18:10,376 --> 01:18:13,376
Well, could be sooner if I can get
one of my colleagues to drop it over.
759
01:18:13,459 --> 01:18:16,209
- Too busy to do it yourself?
- I'll be on my honeymoon then.
760
01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:19,459
Honeymoon? Oh. Congratulations.
761
01:18:19,542 --> 01:18:22,501
And what's the destination? Tenerife?
762
01:18:22,584 --> 01:18:25,584
Uh, Lost John's Cave. Up in Lancs.
763
01:18:26,376 --> 01:18:29,084
- The wife's got a thing about caves.
- (woman) Oh.
764
01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:32,501
- Already calling her the wife?
- She's called me worse.
765
01:18:32,584 --> 01:18:34,584
And what's the wife's name?
766
01:18:35,709 --> 01:18:39,834
Her name's Babs. She works
at Ambrook's Razors, dispatch manager.
767
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:42,959
Ambrook's? Yeah, my sister used to
go out with a bloke from Ambrook's.
768
01:18:43,042 --> 01:18:44,292
Really nice fella, too.
769
01:18:44,376 --> 01:18:46,834
Oh, that, um...
that must be Phil Keeble.
770
01:18:46,917 --> 01:18:49,292
Why? No one else nice at Ambrook's?
771
01:18:51,042 --> 01:18:52,709
What's your fiancée like?
772
01:18:53,792 --> 01:18:55,292
She's all right, yeah.
773
01:18:55,751 --> 01:18:57,251
How long have you been together?
774
01:18:57,334 --> 01:18:59,792
Fourteen, fifteen years.
Something like that.
775
01:18:59,876 --> 01:19:01,626
(woman) Why get married now?
776
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:06,167
I dunno. It's just always been Babs.
777
01:19:06,584 --> 01:19:08,334
You've never been out with anyone else?
778
01:19:08,417 --> 01:19:10,709
- (Reg) No.
- Never tempted?
779
01:19:12,042 --> 01:19:13,501
Not really. It's just Babs.
780
01:19:13,584 --> 01:19:16,001
(woman) You're telling me
you never ever get tempted?
781
01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:19,626
You never even look at another woman
walking down the street?
782
01:19:21,792 --> 01:19:25,018
I can see there's also a problem with the
way the belt rides over the pump pulley.
783
01:19:25,042 --> 01:19:26,751
Small-talk time's up, then?
784
01:19:27,542 --> 01:19:29,751
I've got Mrs Beckley
up the road at five.
785
01:19:30,209 --> 01:19:31,584
Really?
786
01:19:33,334 --> 01:19:35,251
What's your name, young sir?
787
01:19:36,542 --> 01:19:38,459
Uh, Reg Speaks.
788
01:19:39,417 --> 01:19:41,042
Reg Speaks.
789
01:19:42,959 --> 01:19:46,042
My ex-husband used to say
he never looked at other women.
790
01:19:46,126 --> 01:19:50,084
He's probably selling the same lie
to his new wife as we speak.
791
01:19:50,626 --> 01:19:53,792
What I'd give to know what goes on
in the male mind.
792
01:19:55,001 --> 01:19:56,917
Any thoughts?
793
01:19:58,126 --> 01:20:01,292
It doesn't ride properly
over the transmission drive.
794
01:20:01,917 --> 01:20:03,542
All that tension on the belt
795
01:20:03,626 --> 01:20:06,334
is creating havoc with the washers
on the clutch shaft.
796
01:20:07,667 --> 01:20:09,917
The transmission mounting bolts
have come loose,
797
01:20:10,001 --> 01:20:12,209
which might have been
affecting the washer.
798
01:20:12,292 --> 01:20:15,917
The clutch assembly seems to have lost
connection with the low-speed solenoid,
799
01:20:16,001 --> 01:20:19,042
but I can check the motor wiring
at the transmission block.
800
01:20:19,876 --> 01:20:23,542
The agitator hub seems to be intact
along with the transmission shaft,
801
01:20:24,251 --> 01:20:27,251
but the plungers are no longer fitting
into the wigwags.
802
01:20:28,126 --> 01:20:30,167
If you let me have a look
at the wigwag terminals,
803
01:20:30,251 --> 01:20:32,584
I can be more specific
about the problem,
804
01:20:33,126 --> 01:20:34,126
but looking at it now,
805
01:20:34,209 --> 01:20:37,376
I can see the wigwag drive shaft
is no longer working... (voice fades)
806
01:20:37,459 --> 01:20:39,626
(no sound)
807
01:20:42,751 --> 01:20:44,751
Why did you invite Chris Dale
to the wedding?
808
01:20:44,834 --> 01:20:46,001
Not now.
809
01:20:46,084 --> 01:20:48,584
In other words,
yet another pointless guest of yours.
810
01:20:48,667 --> 01:20:51,376
- He taught me judo.
- Yeah, when you were 17
811
01:20:51,459 --> 01:20:55,042
and even then you legged it when
Roj Lines wanted your dinner money!
812
01:20:55,126 --> 01:20:58,626
Half the people on that list never
bothered to invite us to their weddings.
813
01:20:58,709 --> 01:21:00,501
And you can definitely
drop Greg and Tina.
814
01:21:00,584 --> 01:21:03,417
- Why?
- Because they invited themselves!
815
01:21:03,501 --> 01:21:06,542
Other thing with them is
that opens the door to Dave and Sarah,
816
01:21:06,626 --> 01:21:09,959
Justin and Linda, Nick and Charlie,
and Adrian and Russ.
817
01:21:10,042 --> 01:21:11,084
Invite Greg and Tina
818
01:21:11,167 --> 01:21:13,959
and you automatically
have to invite those jokers as well.
819
01:21:14,042 --> 01:21:15,334
Nip it in the bud.
820
01:21:16,501 --> 01:21:18,167
- Are you listening?
- Yes!
821
01:22:12,292 --> 01:22:13,334
(Babs) Look.
822
01:22:16,376 --> 01:22:17,417
What do you think?
823
01:22:18,959 --> 01:22:20,542
It's all right, yeah.
824
01:22:20,626 --> 01:22:22,834
Wash the stink out
and it could be all right on me.
825
01:22:23,626 --> 01:22:24,751
You like me in it?
826
01:22:24,834 --> 01:22:28,459
Yeah. Maybe try it with some tights.
827
01:22:28,917 --> 01:22:29,917
Why?
828
01:22:30,959 --> 01:22:33,917
I dunno. It's a bit nippy out there.
829
01:22:34,001 --> 01:22:36,751
I've told you a million times,
they make my legs itch.
830
01:22:36,834 --> 01:22:38,792
You don't need anything else with this.
831
01:22:38,876 --> 01:22:40,501
It's fine by itself, look.
832
01:22:41,292 --> 01:22:43,167
Where did Clipper get it from?
833
01:22:43,251 --> 01:22:45,251
Some shop or other, I dunno.
834
01:22:45,334 --> 01:22:47,126
It's a size 36.
835
01:22:48,626 --> 01:22:50,001
How come you fit into it?
836
01:22:50,084 --> 01:22:51,251
Yeah.
837
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:53,334
- You listening?
- I like it, yeah!
838
01:22:53,417 --> 01:22:57,542
(Babs) You don't get it, do you?
How comes you fit into a size 36?
839
01:22:58,917 --> 01:23:01,376
(eerie echoing noise)
840
01:23:03,834 --> 01:23:06,542
(echoing voices)
841
01:23:09,209 --> 01:23:10,792
Reg!
842
01:23:13,584 --> 01:23:16,751
- (Reg) Not the fleece!
- It stinks! Wear the other one.
843
01:23:21,542 --> 01:23:25,334
(Mr Lundy whispers) Like a whisper
in an ocean, like a feather in a storm,
844
01:23:25,417 --> 01:23:31,167
a dress of deduction finds its character
in a prism of retail abstraction.
845
01:23:31,251 --> 01:23:34,084
(Babs) See? It's a 38 and it's tight.
846
01:23:34,167 --> 01:23:37,084
- Get a size up, then.
- (Babs) So, you think it's tight?
847
01:23:38,126 --> 01:23:41,292
No, I thought that's what you just said.
848
01:23:47,584 --> 01:23:49,126
(mutters) Bloody useless.
849
01:23:54,167 --> 01:23:55,251
(groans)
850
01:23:57,126 --> 01:23:58,167
(sighs)
851
01:24:06,917 --> 01:24:09,792
(man groans)
852
01:24:09,876 --> 01:24:15,917
Villainy! Now the horrid repercussions
will abate your rank, madam!
853
01:24:22,167 --> 01:24:23,251
You!
854
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:30,959
(Babs) Over 45 minutes they had me
on hold and then the line goes dead.
855
01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:32,626
That's my whole lunch break gone.
856
01:24:32,709 --> 01:24:34,602
(Reg) You could've had your sandwiches
while you were on hold.
857
01:24:34,626 --> 01:24:37,167
(Babs) How am I supposed to eat
if I'm all worked up like that?
858
01:24:37,251 --> 01:24:39,501
I should've never gone
for that store card.
859
01:24:39,584 --> 01:24:42,126
All that bloody hassle
just for a stupid free umbrella
860
01:24:42,209 --> 01:24:44,209
which you ended up losing.
861
01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:46,209
Even when I went in there
to try and cancel it,
862
01:24:46,292 --> 01:24:48,459
the woman kept me waiting
for 30 minutes.
863
01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:50,542
No apology, nothing.
864
01:24:51,251 --> 01:24:52,292
Reg?
865
01:24:54,417 --> 01:24:58,001
Reg? Reg, are you listening?
866
01:24:59,334 --> 01:25:00,667
Reg?
867
01:25:04,292 --> 01:25:06,709
(woman) Let me just try this on you.
868
01:25:06,792 --> 01:25:08,126
See if it fits.
869
01:25:11,542 --> 01:25:14,584
There, that'll keep you warm and cosy.
870
01:25:15,584 --> 01:25:19,876
He's very patient, isn't he? Not like
most of the boys we get in here.
871
01:25:20,501 --> 01:25:22,209
What's your name, young sir?
872
01:25:22,292 --> 01:25:25,917
(Bab) Reginald! Get a move on
or we're going to miss the badminton.
873
01:25:28,792 --> 01:25:30,352
You need to ask Clipper
where he got it from.
874
01:25:30,376 --> 01:25:32,167
Knowing him,
it's some second-hand shop.
875
01:25:32,251 --> 01:25:33,751
(Reg) What's that got to do with it?
876
01:25:33,834 --> 01:25:36,834
(Babs) Think about it! We both got
the same rash, we both wore the dress.
877
01:25:36,917 --> 01:25:39,376
You never heard of scabies?
878
01:25:39,459 --> 01:25:42,501
Reg? Reg!
879
01:25:43,417 --> 01:25:44,709
What?
880
01:25:56,042 --> 01:25:59,417
- (Babs) You think we'll need a new one?
- Hopefully not. Let's see, yeah?
881
01:25:59,501 --> 01:26:02,876
- (Babs) What was wrong with it?
- Basket drive went bananas.
882
01:26:03,501 --> 01:26:04,501
The basket drive?
883
01:26:04,584 --> 01:26:08,209
Yeah, the basket drive.
Just went bananas.
884
01:26:08,292 --> 01:26:10,459
And the spin tube bearings
are knackered.
885
01:26:11,084 --> 01:26:13,417
I tried to check the clutch surface
for any damage
886
01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:16,876
and found that the rivets were
rubbing up against the clutch pulley.
887
01:26:16,959 --> 01:26:20,084
There's also the possibility
that the drain hose is kinked,
888
01:26:20,167 --> 01:26:23,959
but I can put that into writing for you
after a more thorough inspection.
889
01:26:25,042 --> 01:26:27,417
The clutch plate is no longer a plate
890
01:26:27,501 --> 01:26:31,042
and the switch striker
is neither switching nor striking.
891
01:26:31,126 --> 01:26:32,876
If I can get to the wigwag solenoid,
892
01:26:32,959 --> 01:26:35,792
there is a chance I can find out
why the washer didn't drain.
893
01:26:36,751 --> 01:26:40,751
The blocked pump isn't helping matters
and the agitator leaves me at a loss.
894
01:26:42,501 --> 01:26:46,542
I can also see that the wigwag terminals
are not where they're supposed to be,
895
01:26:46,626 --> 01:26:48,001
which leads me to the conclusion
896
01:26:48,084 --> 01:26:50,334
that this washing machine
is dysfunctional...
897
01:26:50,417 --> 01:26:51,834
(voice fades)
898
01:26:53,626 --> 01:26:55,001
(wind howls)
899
01:27:47,792 --> 01:27:49,167
(screwdriver clicks)
900
01:27:50,876 --> 01:27:55,167
- Oi! Cottrell's looking for you.
- What now?
901
01:27:55,251 --> 01:28:00,417
One of your neighbours reported you.
Just tell me you didn't do it.
902
01:28:00,501 --> 01:28:02,584
I had to, it was an emergency.
903
01:28:02,667 --> 01:28:04,584
You know the rules, Reg!
904
01:28:04,667 --> 01:28:08,126
You fix your own machine,
it still has to go through the books.
905
01:28:08,209 --> 01:28:12,542
- I bought my own spare parts.
- And? Who paid for your training?
906
01:28:13,792 --> 01:28:16,834
You've really let the side down,
do you know that?
907
01:28:16,917 --> 01:28:20,209
Now get in there
before Cottrell takes me on as well.
908
01:30:02,751 --> 01:30:03,792
(sniffs)
909
01:30:18,542 --> 01:30:20,917
- (Babs) I've had it with Andre.
- (door slams)
910
01:30:21,001 --> 01:30:22,209
If he vetoes one more song,
911
01:30:22,292 --> 01:30:24,917
I'm gonna stick that turntable
up his miserable backside!
912
01:30:25,001 --> 01:30:27,042
(Bananas) Where'd you learn
to talk like that?
913
01:30:27,126 --> 01:30:30,084
Oh, it's easy for you to say. You're not
the one having to deal with him.
914
01:30:30,167 --> 01:30:34,376
Every time I say no to something,
he just says, "Why? Why? Why?"
915
01:30:34,459 --> 01:30:36,792
(Reg) Maybe I can make
a compilation tape.
916
01:30:36,876 --> 01:30:39,042
- Save us a bit of money too.
- You're joking, right?
917
01:30:39,126 --> 01:30:41,501
Your record collection
wouldn't even get a flea jumping.
918
01:30:41,584 --> 01:30:44,084
Ease it on, Babs.
I'm only trying to help.
919
01:30:47,084 --> 01:30:48,709
(Babs) What's this doing down here?
920
01:30:51,042 --> 01:30:52,792
(Reg) Sorry, I didn't see that there.
921
01:30:57,751 --> 01:30:59,876
- What are you doing? They stay there.
- Why?
922
01:31:01,709 --> 01:31:02,917
(groans loudly)
923
01:31:03,292 --> 01:31:05,768
Now come in the kitchen you two.
I've got a cheesecake for you both.
924
01:31:05,792 --> 01:31:07,292
Oh, lovely. Cheers, darling.
925
01:31:11,459 --> 01:31:12,584
You're not worried?
926
01:31:13,542 --> 01:31:15,876
- About what?
- That.
927
01:31:17,334 --> 01:31:19,709
It's probably just
the washing powder we use.
928
01:31:19,792 --> 01:31:22,042
- You don't think it's scabies?
- No.
929
01:31:22,126 --> 01:31:23,876
- An allergy?
- No.
930
01:31:25,251 --> 01:31:28,626
- Something venereal?
- You tell me.
931
01:31:28,709 --> 01:31:30,917
- I haven't slept around.
- Me neither.
932
01:31:32,334 --> 01:31:34,584
- Does that mean you love me, then?
- Yeah.
933
01:31:52,042 --> 01:31:53,417
(canary cheeps)
934
01:31:56,459 --> 01:31:59,501
(wings flap frantically)
935
01:31:59,584 --> 01:32:01,167
(clattering)
936
01:32:05,542 --> 01:32:07,417
(Babs) She's asphyxiated.
937
01:32:07,501 --> 01:32:09,417
(Reg) How can a dress asphyxiate it?
938
01:32:09,501 --> 01:32:12,876
Well, how else did she die?
She's barely a year old.
939
01:32:12,959 --> 01:32:16,126
- Could be carbon monoxide.
- We'd be dead then.
940
01:32:16,209 --> 01:32:20,167
- Not if it's a small leak.
- You're scaring me now.
941
01:32:20,251 --> 01:32:22,917
I'll come back
and take a look on my lunch break.
942
01:32:23,001 --> 01:32:25,792
No way can you get home
and back in an hour.
943
01:32:25,876 --> 01:32:28,209
Go off to work.
I'll look at it during lunch.
944
01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:31,417
- If the flame turns orange, call me.
- Yeah, yeah.
945
01:32:33,292 --> 01:32:34,459
What are you doing?
946
01:32:35,334 --> 01:32:37,042
Uh... You're going to be late.
947
01:32:38,167 --> 01:32:41,709
Go! Before Cottrell shoves a firework
up your backside.
948
01:32:45,084 --> 01:32:47,876
Reg, go! I've got to do my hair.
949
01:32:53,251 --> 01:32:54,709
(Clive) Thanks for coming in, Reg.
950
01:32:54,792 --> 01:32:57,042
When our neighbour heard
you were coming in for a loan,
951
01:32:57,126 --> 01:32:59,917
- he wanted to pass on his greetings.
- Oh, who was that?
952
01:33:00,001 --> 01:33:02,126
(Clive) Mr Watlington,
your physics teacher.
953
01:33:02,209 --> 01:33:03,209
Oh, right.
954
01:33:03,292 --> 01:33:06,292
(man) He also wanted to pass on
his apologies for hitting you so often.
955
01:33:06,376 --> 01:33:07,376
It's OK.
956
01:33:07,459 --> 01:33:09,501
It was a bit of
a Reg Speaks evening, in fact.
957
01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:12,917
(chuckles) He kept telling us
about you at school,
958
01:33:13,001 --> 01:33:16,251
and to tell you the truth,
he was sad to hear about your finances
959
01:33:16,334 --> 01:33:18,251
when we showed him
your loan application.
960
01:33:18,667 --> 01:33:20,251
Now, with that in mind, of course,
961
01:33:20,334 --> 01:33:23,334
we'd love to consider
your thoughtful request.
962
01:33:23,417 --> 01:33:25,667
But given that Staverton's kicked you out,
963
01:33:25,751 --> 01:33:27,876
we're somewhat reluctant to sign it off.
964
01:33:27,959 --> 01:33:29,917
What about here?
I heard there was a job going.
965
01:33:30,001 --> 01:33:31,959
(Clive) Sorry, that's taken, I'm afraid.
966
01:33:32,042 --> 01:33:35,018
Though I did see a sign at Dentley and
Soper's saying they were looking for someone
967
01:33:35,042 --> 01:33:37,792
in the male alliance
of clothing and costume.
968
01:33:37,876 --> 01:33:39,792
No, no, but looking in the sense
969
01:33:39,876 --> 01:33:41,834
- that one of the staff has disappeared.
- Oh.
970
01:33:41,917 --> 01:33:44,751
They're just trying to find him.
They're not advertising a job.
971
01:33:44,834 --> 01:33:47,376
Oh, silly me. It's my mistake.
972
01:34:09,459 --> 01:34:13,334
Now, the only loan we can offer
is the deferred employment package.
973
01:34:13,417 --> 01:34:14,501
DEP.
974
01:34:14,584 --> 01:34:16,584
It's what we like to call
a motivational loan.
975
01:34:16,667 --> 01:34:18,542
It helps our customers
get back on their feet
976
01:34:18,626 --> 01:34:20,917
and back into the job market.
977
01:34:21,001 --> 01:34:22,876
With that kind of interest rate?
978
01:34:22,959 --> 01:34:24,626
That's just advisory.
979
01:34:25,917 --> 01:34:32,084
Reg, Clive and I had someone over
from Staverton's a few years back
980
01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:33,834
and we still think a lot about
981
01:34:33,917 --> 01:34:37,126
how nicely he talked us through
the whole process of fixing our machine.
982
01:34:37,209 --> 01:34:40,834
And we thought seeing as we'll be having
Reg Speaks in the room,
983
01:34:40,917 --> 01:34:43,209
maybe he could do
something similar for us?
984
01:34:44,334 --> 01:34:46,209
It would mean a lot to us, Reg.
985
01:34:46,709 --> 01:34:48,417
But there's no machine here.
986
01:34:49,001 --> 01:34:50,792
You could pretend there's one.
987
01:34:50,876 --> 01:34:52,709
(Clive) Nobody needs to know.
988
01:34:52,792 --> 01:34:54,209
But I can't just...
989
01:34:54,292 --> 01:34:58,251
Just try. Then we can look
at more favourable rates for you.
990
01:34:59,626 --> 01:35:00,667
It'll be fun.
991
01:35:04,626 --> 01:35:05,792
Um...
992
01:35:09,542 --> 01:35:12,584
Plungers on old machines
tend to stop retracting,
993
01:35:12,667 --> 01:35:15,126
which means a knock-on effect
with the washer.
994
01:35:17,792 --> 01:35:20,709
A-Also the belt drive had come off.
995
01:35:24,042 --> 01:35:30,334
The inlet valve might have been blocked,
but I can't verify that.
996
01:35:30,417 --> 01:35:32,167
It s-seems...
997
01:35:32,251 --> 01:35:35,626
It's OK. It's OK, Reg.
No one's forcing you.
998
01:35:37,792 --> 01:35:40,626
If it helps. we could kick it off
in a role-play scenario.
999
01:35:40,917 --> 01:35:43,834
Yeah. A lot of loan applicants
find our Tudor courtroom scenario
1000
01:35:43,917 --> 01:35:45,209
puts them at ease.
1001
01:35:45,292 --> 01:35:47,167
(Clive)
Clothes still needed washing then.
1002
01:35:47,251 --> 01:35:48,584
That's right. (chuckles)
1003
01:35:52,542 --> 01:35:53,876
What's the matter, Reg?
1004
01:35:53,959 --> 01:35:56,834
You spoke so clearly and nicely
when you first came in.
1005
01:35:56,917 --> 01:35:59,042
Oh, no, um, nothing.
1006
01:35:59,126 --> 01:36:02,126
I-I'm just a bit tender
these days, that's all.
1007
01:36:04,001 --> 01:36:05,126
How come?
1008
01:36:06,501 --> 01:36:11,834
Just a sleeping dream I had last night.
It's been on my mind all day.
1009
01:36:12,917 --> 01:36:14,292
(Clive) Interesting.
1010
01:36:14,376 --> 01:36:18,792
We're here for you Reg. Sometimes
it can help to discuss these things.
1011
01:36:21,542 --> 01:36:26,876
Well, Babs, my fiancée, was in labour.
1012
01:36:26,959 --> 01:36:29,917
I was late, so at that point,
the door was locked.
1013
01:36:32,542 --> 01:36:35,417
I tried to take on her pain
just to make her feel better.
1014
01:36:35,501 --> 01:36:37,626
(screams)
1015
01:36:40,334 --> 01:36:41,376
(no sound)
1016
01:36:41,459 --> 01:36:42,917
(Babs screams)
1017
01:36:46,001 --> 01:36:47,001
(no sound)
1018
01:36:47,084 --> 01:36:49,376
(Reg) I kept screaming
to show how much I cared,
1019
01:36:49,459 --> 01:36:52,126
but it just seemed to annoy everyone.
1020
01:36:53,792 --> 01:36:56,917
I kept knocking on the window
in the hope that they'd let me in.
1021
01:37:00,334 --> 01:37:02,167
(screams)
1022
01:37:02,251 --> 01:37:04,126
(no sound)
1023
01:37:05,459 --> 01:37:09,417
The baby came out of Babs in this dress
that looked exactly the same
1024
01:37:09,501 --> 01:37:11,709
as the one I wore
on my stag night at ZinZan's.
1025
01:37:12,876 --> 01:37:16,417
I wanted to wave at my little girl,
but she wasn't having it.
1026
01:37:18,126 --> 01:37:20,959
She made it clear
that I should sling my hook.
1027
01:37:21,042 --> 01:37:22,709
(no sound)
1028
01:37:27,751 --> 01:37:30,334
- (man) What was her name?
- Babs Junior.
1029
01:37:31,959 --> 01:37:32,959
Interesting.
1030
01:37:33,042 --> 01:37:36,959
Reminds me of a dream Stash and I had
when we put the sand dunes in the wash.
1031
01:37:37,042 --> 01:37:41,459
Oh, yeah, that. Kept bypassing
the spin cycle, I remember now.
1032
01:37:42,084 --> 01:37:43,251
Was it an old machine?
1033
01:37:43,334 --> 01:37:45,792
No, no, it was brand new.
Wasn't it, Stash?
1034
01:37:45,876 --> 01:37:47,626
Yeah, very strange.
1035
01:37:47,709 --> 01:37:50,834
Did you check the belt
if it was broken or loose?
1036
01:37:50,917 --> 01:37:52,792
That could have been
the problem with it.
1037
01:37:52,876 --> 01:37:56,917
(Stash) That's what we were wondering,
but maybe it was something else.
1038
01:37:57,001 --> 01:37:58,251
What do you think, Reg?
1039
01:37:59,376 --> 01:38:02,667
It's probably a problem with the wigwag
and its rotational pull.
1040
01:38:03,376 --> 01:38:06,501
Plungers on doors
sometimes don't align with the seal,
1041
01:38:06,584 --> 01:38:08,751
but the lid switch is often to blame.
1042
01:38:09,542 --> 01:38:12,501
The inner tub
might've sustained serious dents
1043
01:38:12,584 --> 01:38:15,459
resulting in the belt drive
loosening or coming off,
1044
01:38:16,042 --> 01:38:18,834
but that's usually a problem
with older machines.
1045
01:38:19,667 --> 01:38:23,501
The lid switch and its actuator,
the motor coupler or door lock assembly
1046
01:38:23,584 --> 01:38:27,542
are the first things to check when
a new machine bypasses the spin cycle.
1047
01:38:28,834 --> 01:38:32,209
The agitator drive shaft and spin tube
linked to the transmission
1048
01:38:32,292 --> 01:38:34,667
can come loose from the tub struts.
1049
01:38:35,334 --> 01:38:37,542
If the helix doesn't release the brake
1050
01:38:37,626 --> 01:38:40,501
and the belt tensioner
doesn't allow slippage... (voice fades)
1051
01:40:03,167 --> 01:40:04,209
Imagine,
1052
01:40:04,292 --> 01:40:08,376
trading will cease at a premature hour
on this, the twelfth day of sales.
1053
01:40:08,917 --> 01:40:11,126
There lie other boutiques
to your discernment.
1054
01:40:11,209 --> 01:40:12,417
But I'm in the store now.
1055
01:40:12,501 --> 01:40:15,876
You can't just turf me out.
Customer rules and all that.
1056
01:40:15,959 --> 01:40:18,584
You must conclude your perusal
immediately, then.
1057
01:40:18,667 --> 01:40:21,792
Excuse me? I've worked in retail.
1058
01:40:21,876 --> 01:40:23,751
Once the customer
steps through the door,
1059
01:40:23,834 --> 01:40:27,251
you see it through to the last.
That's what I had to do.
1060
01:40:27,334 --> 01:40:30,834
The doors you passed through
are doors in perpetual revolve
1061
01:40:30,917 --> 01:40:33,167
and thus not a veritable indication
1062
01:40:33,251 --> 01:40:35,792
of the time in which you thought
you might have set heel
1063
01:40:35,876 --> 01:40:39,792
in Dentley and Soper's
Trusted Department Store, mate.
1064
01:40:39,876 --> 01:40:41,334
You call those doors revolving?
1065
01:40:41,417 --> 01:40:42,459
Hm-hmm.
1066
01:40:42,542 --> 01:40:44,959
Listen, I'm here
to choose a dress, yeah?
1067
01:40:45,042 --> 01:40:48,917
Pick something up, try it on,
pay for it, and then leave you in peace.
1068
01:40:49,001 --> 01:40:52,209
By the time you've thought of another
excuse to get me out, I'll be done,
1069
01:40:52,292 --> 01:40:53,417
mate!
1070
01:40:55,167 --> 01:40:59,876
This dress. So shabby, so unkempt.
1071
01:40:59,959 --> 01:41:04,626
We have rules here about presentation,
about hygiene, about conduct.
1072
01:41:05,376 --> 01:41:07,376
A required pedigree of shopping
1073
01:41:07,459 --> 01:41:10,917
is an aspiration
we flowerfully seal to our hearts.
1074
01:41:11,001 --> 01:41:15,042
Please, return in a different dress
and we will welcome you back.
1075
01:41:15,917 --> 01:41:18,959
If you let me buy a new dress, I will.
1076
01:41:19,042 --> 01:41:20,167
(in distance) Psst!
1077
01:41:43,209 --> 01:41:48,376
I now announce you extension time.
Congratulations.
1078
01:41:49,292 --> 01:41:51,209
I never thought I'd say this,
1079
01:41:51,292 --> 01:41:53,501
but you lot could all do with
a good shag.
1080
01:41:53,626 --> 01:41:56,042
(both laugh)
1081
01:42:00,126 --> 01:42:03,751
(laughs)
1082
01:42:04,417 --> 01:42:07,876
(distorted synth music)
1083
01:43:11,626 --> 01:43:15,501
Such an intimate document
of finesse and joy.
1084
01:43:15,584 --> 01:43:18,459
Nice to see a catalogue
with ladies bigger than me for once.
1085
01:43:19,209 --> 01:43:21,959
Pray tell, your measurements would be?
1086
01:43:23,792 --> 01:43:26,417
- Guess.
- Thirty-six.
1087
01:43:27,667 --> 01:43:30,167
- Really?
- Thirty-six.
1088
01:43:31,334 --> 01:43:32,626
You're not just saying that?
1089
01:43:32,959 --> 01:43:34,126
Thirty-six.
1090
01:43:34,917 --> 01:43:39,626
Thirty-six. I had a sleeping dream
I was a size thirty-six.
1091
01:43:40,751 --> 01:43:43,126
And I went out with my friends
to ZinZan's to celebrate,
1092
01:43:43,209 --> 01:43:45,376
but it wasn't ZinZan's.
1093
01:43:46,084 --> 01:43:47,417
It was here.
1094
01:43:48,876 --> 01:43:50,376
That was where it was.
1095
01:43:51,584 --> 01:43:55,167
It was in this room
and in this catalogue.
1096
01:43:55,959 --> 01:43:59,376
Every image was of me in this slip
getting skinnier and skinnier,
1097
01:43:59,459 --> 01:44:01,417
but the measurements written next to me
1098
01:44:01,501 --> 01:44:03,042
were getting bigger and bigger.
1099
01:44:03,542 --> 01:44:05,626
I rang the staff bell for assistance.
1100
01:44:06,501 --> 01:44:08,959
Two ladies came to my aid and told me
1101
01:44:09,042 --> 01:44:10,501
to put my head between my knees
1102
01:44:10,584 --> 01:44:12,626
whilst they tried
to correct the catalogue.
1103
01:44:14,334 --> 01:44:17,376
(whispers) 36, 38.
1104
01:44:18,417 --> 01:44:19,709
(whispering)
1105
01:44:20,751 --> 01:44:22,251
36, 38.
1106
01:44:23,667 --> 01:44:25,209
36, 38.
1107
01:44:26,626 --> 01:44:28,542
36, 38.
1108
01:44:28,626 --> 01:44:30,959
(whispering)
1109
01:44:31,042 --> 01:44:33,001
(pencil scribbles)
1110
01:44:36,584 --> 01:44:39,167
(whispering continues)
1111
01:44:42,876 --> 01:44:45,126
36, 38.
1112
01:44:49,084 --> 01:44:51,126
36, 38.
1113
01:44:53,709 --> 01:44:56,084
(whispering continues)
1114
01:45:23,334 --> 01:45:24,584
(hinges creak)
1115
01:45:24,667 --> 01:45:26,042
(thud)
1116
01:45:26,917 --> 01:45:28,417
(Babs) And then they buried me.
1117
01:45:29,292 --> 01:45:31,917
Here in this Trusted Department Store.
1118
01:45:33,626 --> 01:45:35,042
And then they buried me.
1119
01:45:36,959 --> 01:45:38,209
(yawns)
1120
01:45:39,626 --> 01:45:41,626
Your changing room is waiting for you
1121
01:45:41,709 --> 01:45:46,292
and your dress to coalesce
into a simple union of wonder.
1122
01:45:55,167 --> 01:45:57,251
(whispering)
1123
01:46:03,459 --> 01:46:05,792
(synth music)
1124
01:46:31,292 --> 01:46:34,001
(tannoy) Attention, consumers.
Attention, consumers.
1125
01:46:34,084 --> 01:46:36,042
Your shopping will conclude now.
1126
01:46:36,126 --> 01:46:39,251
Pay us for your items
and return to your houses.
1127
01:46:39,334 --> 01:46:41,459
(whispering)
1128
01:46:53,376 --> 01:46:54,417
(thud)
1129
01:46:58,459 --> 01:47:00,209
(coins jingle)
1130
01:47:02,001 --> 01:47:03,709
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
1131
01:47:03,792 --> 01:47:08,126
Goodbye to you too, dear Audrey.
(blows kiss) Fantastic.
1132
01:47:15,084 --> 01:47:18,459
There will be this asphodel blouse
and a pair of those funeral stockings.
1133
01:47:18,876 --> 01:47:20,167
Instantly!
1134
01:47:21,126 --> 01:47:24,292
Excuse me, I was here first.
1135
01:47:24,376 --> 01:47:26,042
No, you weren't.
1136
01:47:26,126 --> 01:47:29,417
Going through that tray doesn't give you
the right to bypass the queue.
1137
01:47:29,501 --> 01:47:31,376
You came here after me.
1138
01:47:31,459 --> 01:47:34,042
No, I didn't. Now if you don't mind...
1139
01:47:34,126 --> 01:47:36,584
Such fascination of marvel.
1140
01:47:36,667 --> 01:47:40,334
Its touch to the skin,
its contour on the body.
1141
01:47:40,417 --> 01:47:43,126
I will be served first.
There'll be this cinnamon bra.
1142
01:47:43,209 --> 01:47:45,126
Thank you very much.
1143
01:47:49,667 --> 01:47:51,001
(gasps) Ladies!
1144
01:47:52,334 --> 01:47:53,709
(gasps) Hey!
1145
01:47:54,792 --> 01:47:57,542
- (groans)
- (shoppers gasp)
1146
01:48:03,167 --> 01:48:04,709
(distant yelling)
1147
01:48:10,042 --> 01:48:11,959
- (groans)
- (shoppers gasp)
1148
01:48:12,751 --> 01:48:14,084
(screaming)
1149
01:48:16,001 --> 01:48:18,459
(synth music)
1150
01:48:34,334 --> 01:48:37,292
(shoppers yell)
1151
01:48:40,334 --> 01:48:42,042
(distant yelling)
1152
01:49:04,876 --> 01:49:06,042
(gasps)
1153
01:49:07,251 --> 01:49:09,792
(yelling continues)
1154
01:49:09,876 --> 01:49:11,501
(woman screams)
1155
01:49:11,584 --> 01:49:12,876
(gasps)
1156
01:49:44,959 --> 01:49:47,501
(alarm sounds)
1157
01:49:50,501 --> 01:49:53,167
(Babs pants)
1158
01:49:53,292 --> 01:49:56,501
Blame! Blame!
1159
01:49:56,584 --> 01:49:59,709
(alarm continues)
1160
01:49:59,792 --> 01:50:01,792
- (banging on door)
- (Babs yells)
1161
01:50:04,501 --> 01:50:08,876
(Luckmoore) Blame! Blame!
1162
01:50:12,209 --> 01:50:14,084
(alarm continues)
1163
01:50:17,292 --> 01:50:18,876
(tannoy) A dramatic affliction
1164
01:50:18,959 --> 01:50:21,751
has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
1165
01:50:21,834 --> 01:50:23,709
Get out graciously.
1166
01:50:24,834 --> 01:50:26,626
(screaming)
1167
01:50:26,709 --> 01:50:31,292
A dramatic affliction has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
1168
01:50:31,376 --> 01:50:34,876
- Get out graciously.
- (Babs cries)
1169
01:50:34,959 --> 01:50:37,376
- (alarm continues)
- (screaming)
1170
01:50:37,959 --> 01:50:40,042
A dramatic affliction has compromised
1171
01:50:40,126 --> 01:50:42,459
- our Trusted Department Store.
- (banging)
1172
01:50:42,542 --> 01:50:43,792
Get out graciously.
1173
01:50:43,876 --> 01:50:45,792
(screaming)
1174
01:50:49,126 --> 01:50:53,584
A dramatic affliction has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
1175
01:50:53,667 --> 01:50:55,667
Get out graciously.
1176
01:50:55,751 --> 01:50:57,709
(evil laughter)
1177
01:50:59,917 --> 01:51:02,084
(distorted) A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1178
01:51:02,167 --> 01:51:04,126
our Trusted Department Store.
1179
01:51:04,209 --> 01:51:06,334
Get out graciously.
1180
01:51:06,417 --> 01:51:08,459
(evil laughter)
1181
01:51:11,126 --> 01:51:13,459
(distorted) A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1182
01:51:13,542 --> 01:51:17,709
our Trusted Department Store.
Get out graciously.
1183
01:51:17,792 --> 01:51:19,751
(evil laughter)
1184
01:51:21,876 --> 01:51:24,292
(distorted) A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1185
01:51:24,376 --> 01:51:28,417
our Trusted Department Store.
Get out graciously.
1186
01:51:28,501 --> 01:51:30,501
(evil laughter)
1187
01:51:31,876 --> 01:51:33,709
(alarm continues)
1188
01:51:35,334 --> 01:51:37,042
(distorted announcement)
1189
01:51:41,834 --> 01:51:42,917
(evil laughter)
1190
01:51:44,376 --> 01:51:46,376
(distorted announcement)
1191
01:51:51,126 --> 01:51:52,209
(evil laughter)
1192
01:51:55,751 --> 01:51:58,876
(distorted announcement)
1193
01:52:02,292 --> 01:52:03,751
(evil laughter)
1194
01:52:07,126 --> 01:52:08,709
(distorted announcement)
1195
01:52:13,667 --> 01:52:15,167
(evil laughter)
1196
01:52:26,501 --> 01:52:28,334
(sewing machine whirs)
1197
01:52:31,792 --> 01:52:33,251
(lift creaks)
1198
01:52:56,417 --> 01:52:58,084
(creaking)
1199
01:53:00,626 --> 01:53:02,959
(sewing machine whirs)
1200
01:53:04,834 --> 01:53:06,584
(creaking)
1201
01:53:06,667 --> 01:53:08,417
(sewing machine whirs)
1202
01:53:09,459 --> 01:53:11,417
(sewing machine whirs)
1203
01:53:12,501 --> 01:53:14,292
(sewing machine whirs)
1204
01:53:15,459 --> 01:53:16,959
(sewing machine whirs)
1205
01:53:29,792 --> 01:53:31,751
(glass crunches underfoot)
1206
01:53:54,001 --> 01:53:56,084
(indistinct muttering)
1207
01:54:18,584 --> 01:54:20,459
(muttering continues)
1208
01:54:47,459 --> 01:54:49,834
(muttering fades)
1209
01:58:02,001 --> 01:58:04,001
Subtitles: BTI Studios