1 00:00:06,446 --> 00:00:09,154 The bond between a father and a daughter... 2 00:00:09,249 --> 00:00:11,620 There's absolutely nothing like it. 3 00:00:12,132 --> 00:00:16,453 I always used to say my mom gave me my drive but 4 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,818 my dad gave me my dreams. 5 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,858 As little girls, 6 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:26,430 we dream of all the big life moments we're gonna share with our dads... 7 00:00:26,721 --> 00:00:30,929 First day of school, first bike ride with our training wheels, 8 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:34,546 first dance, pre-k graduation, 9 00:00:34,756 --> 00:00:36,375 middle school graduation, 10 00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:39,247 just all the graduations. 11 00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:42,168 And, of course, our weddings. 12 00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:46,555 My gown is going to be pure white with tons of lace 13 00:00:46,692 --> 00:00:50,796 and a train stretching on for miles and miles, 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,399 - just like my mom's. - OK, but who's going to help you carry that train? 15 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,810 You, of course. 16 00:00:56,842 --> 00:01:00,557 For my wedding, I'm going to have a simple but elegant pant suit. 17 00:01:00,674 --> 00:01:03,341 You can't wear a pant suit for your wedding, Olivia. 18 00:01:03,383 --> 00:01:04,596 Of course I can. 19 00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:08,428 My dad says I can do whatever I want, 'cause I'm a change-maker. 20 00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:11,568 He says one day I'm gonna change the whole world. 21 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:12,986 With a pant suit? 22 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,347 All I know is Daddy's always right. 23 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,376 Problem is, 24 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,853 while we're dreaming these big dreams of life with our hero, 25 00:01:22,202 --> 00:01:25,888 no one ever warns us that those same dreams could be cut short. 26 00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:28,212 That we could just wake up one day and... 27 00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:30,647 our dad's just... 28 00:01:31,844 --> 00:01:33,301 Gone. 29 00:01:38,858 --> 00:01:40,266 Hey. 30 00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:43,211 - Hey. You OK? - I just... I'm sorry. 31 00:01:43,244 --> 00:01:44,946 I just really need you to get up. 32 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,541 Liv, it's the middle of the night. What's wrong? 33 00:01:49,589 --> 00:01:52,559 I'm not gonna make it through the night without taking a drink. 34 00:01:52,591 --> 00:01:54,294 I just... I need both of you, please. 35 00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:58,424 Hey, hey. Come here. 36 00:01:58,449 --> 00:02:00,456 Come here, come here, come here. 37 00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,429 Thank you. 38 00:03:02,911 --> 00:03:04,924 I'm glad you have each other. 39 00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:26,779 OK. 40 00:03:26,935 --> 00:03:29,155 Hey. I didn't hear you come in. 41 00:03:29,162 --> 00:03:31,591 I didn't wanna wake you, and Ash let me in. 42 00:03:31,614 --> 00:03:33,090 Oh. 43 00:03:34,022 --> 00:03:35,369 Whatcha got here? 44 00:03:35,524 --> 00:03:37,511 These are my famous hot cakes. 45 00:03:37,563 --> 00:03:40,574 Well, thank you, but I can't eat all that before a workout. 46 00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:44,842 Uh, well, my mama always said food is medicine for the soul. 47 00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:46,893 I appreciate you and your mama, 48 00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:48,324 but I gotta get to the gym. 49 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,780 Spence, why the rush? 50 00:03:49,877 --> 00:03:52,613 I know Coach Baker's funeral was only a couple days ago. 51 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,875 I don't think anyone's expecting you to rush back to anything. 52 00:03:55,992 --> 00:03:57,849 I was thinking we could talk. 53 00:03:57,959 --> 00:04:00,859 I know how hard it must have been for you losing Coach Baker. 54 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,559 It's the cycle of life, right? 55 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,269 What happened to Coach ain't something none of us can change. 56 00:04:06,508 --> 00:04:08,367 Look, I really gotta get this workout in, 57 00:04:08,408 --> 00:04:11,384 so maybe later, you and I can tear into that stack of hot cakes. 58 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:13,430 All right. 59 00:04:20,743 --> 00:04:24,375 Do I call my mom? Do... do we keep her with us all day? 60 00:04:24,647 --> 00:04:26,012 You know what? Screw it. 61 00:04:26,206 --> 00:04:27,468 I'm just gonna call her sponsor 62 00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:29,695 and if Liv gets mad, she can get mad, OK? 63 00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:35,242 Layla. Hi. 64 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:36,667 - Hi. - It's good to see you. 65 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,602 Yeah. Jordan? 66 00:04:39,891 --> 00:04:41,703 You both look like you've seen a ghost. 67 00:04:41,761 --> 00:04:43,386 Um, no, sorry, it's just 68 00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:45,224 we were literally about to call you. 69 00:04:45,257 --> 00:04:47,445 Yeah, uh, how did you know to come here? 70 00:04:47,516 --> 00:04:48,927 I called her. 71 00:04:50,216 --> 00:04:51,912 I called everyone, actually. 72 00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:54,456 If I'm gonna get through today and not drink, I'm... 73 00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:57,646 - I'm gonna need my village. - Atta girl. 74 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,221 These past couple weeks have been 75 00:05:18,506 --> 00:05:19,917 really, really hard. 76 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,607 Um, last night, I just... I had nothing left, 77 00:05:23,803 --> 00:05:26,022 and I would've had a drink 78 00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:28,061 if I didn't get help, so... 79 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,747 Why didn't you say anything sooner, sweetheart? 80 00:05:30,773 --> 00:05:32,864 Because I'm not the only one that lost Dad, 81 00:05:33,058 --> 00:05:36,696 and focusing it on me just felt selfish. 82 00:05:36,729 --> 00:05:38,392 No one would've thought that, Liv. 83 00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,114 OK, we're here now, 84 00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,041 so how can we help, Olivia? 85 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:43,849 I texted everyone 86 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,105 all my usual hiding places for my pills and stuff. 87 00:05:47,131 --> 00:05:48,892 Jordan already did a sweep this morning, 88 00:05:48,908 --> 00:05:52,508 so I guess just keep checking and keep me honest. 89 00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:55,335 OK, this is, um, this is all that was left in the house. 90 00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:58,216 That's your dad's. That's from... 91 00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:01,174 - how did you get... - I took it from his office 92 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,579 the night of the memorial 93 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:05,220 and I've been holding on to it and, um... 94 00:06:07,472 --> 00:06:09,952 I just... I can't keep fighting this alone. 95 00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:13,473 You don't have to. We can do regular sweeps. 96 00:06:13,493 --> 00:06:15,875 We can take turns driving you to A.A. 97 00:06:16,069 --> 00:06:17,972 I mean, whatever it takes, honestly. 98 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:22,801 I don't think I can be left alone. 99 00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:31,360 Uh, well, then we won't leave you alone. 100 00:06:34,985 --> 00:06:37,665 - Hey, baby. - Hey. How's Liv? 101 00:06:37,717 --> 00:06:39,499 Impressively strong. 102 00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:42,054 - We're all taking shifts with her today. - Hmm. 103 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,214 And this is why the Vortex rocks. 104 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,473 I'm gonna get a refill. Do you want one? 105 00:06:47,538 --> 00:06:49,629 These baby books I'm reading say that too much caffeine 106 00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,525 can elevate your blood pressure and heart rate. 107 00:06:51,596 --> 00:06:55,351 So can sex. You gonna stop that, too? 108 00:06:55,384 --> 00:06:57,801 No, we don't have to follow these books word for word. 109 00:06:57,837 --> 00:06:59,198 We can just, you know. 110 00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:01,079 That's what I thought. Mm-hmm. 111 00:07:01,478 --> 00:07:03,968 Oh! My doctor just got back to me. 112 00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:06,571 She can see us at 2:00 today for our first ultrasound. 113 00:07:07,089 --> 00:07:08,959 - OK. - Wait. 114 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,816 I thought our appointment was in a few weeks. 115 00:07:10,855 --> 00:07:14,333 It was, but she wants to start monitoring me early because of my lupus. 116 00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:16,965 Is that normal? Is she concerned? Does she think that... 117 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,231 - that something could be wrong or... - Hey, Ash, slow down. 118 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:22,617 She's just taking precautions to make sure I have a healthy pregnancy. 119 00:07:23,102 --> 00:07:25,084 It's a good thing, babe. 120 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:48,327 OK. 121 00:07:48,470 --> 00:07:51,171 Dad must've ordered this before... 122 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,594 You know, it's weird to think that this... this... 123 00:07:54,634 --> 00:07:56,925 this could've been one of the last things that he did. 124 00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,845 I'm sorry, Jordan. 125 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,865 You know, we can just set it aside 126 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,354 till your mom's ready to deal with it. 127 00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:05,426 No, I don't... I don't wanna put her through that. 128 00:08:05,490 --> 00:08:07,834 - OK. Do you want me to open it? - I don't know. 129 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:09,717 If... if we open it, 130 00:08:10,352 --> 00:08:11,536 that's it. 131 00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:13,161 What's it? 132 00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:16,463 There'll be no more packages, Layla. The... 133 00:08:17,349 --> 00:08:19,376 there'll be no more moments with Dad. 134 00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:47,186 Yo, man. There you are. 135 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,518 Why weren't you at the Baker house this morning? 136 00:08:49,602 --> 00:08:50,864 Was I supposed to be? 137 00:08:50,974 --> 00:08:53,389 Liv called a family meeting this morning. 138 00:08:53,563 --> 00:08:55,214 She's struggling with her sobriety, 139 00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:57,104 so we all taking shifts to help her. 140 00:08:58,697 --> 00:09:00,600 Nah. No, I ain't get the call. 141 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,053 You serious, man? That's all you gotta say? 142 00:09:03,086 --> 00:09:04,568 What do you want from me, Coop? 143 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,533 Sounds like she got all the support she needs, so... 144 00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:20,603 What's really going on, Olivia? 145 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,885 What do you mean? I... I told you. I'm trying not to relapse. 146 00:09:23,923 --> 00:09:25,419 Your father passed and you're trying 147 00:09:25,444 --> 00:09:27,873 - not to drink to numb the pain. - Exactly. 148 00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:30,947 Losing your dad hurts. I understand that. 149 00:09:31,128 --> 00:09:32,992 And I'm sorry for your pain. 150 00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:34,774 But that's not the whole story. 151 00:09:35,094 --> 00:09:37,059 I've been where you are, remember? 152 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:40,239 You did the right thing by activating your village 153 00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:43,157 instead of trying to go at it alone this time. 154 00:09:43,262 --> 00:09:44,764 And that is growth. 155 00:09:44,905 --> 00:09:47,604 But your village can't babysit you forever. 156 00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:49,487 So you need to dig deep 157 00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:51,649 and find your why, Liv. 158 00:09:51,951 --> 00:09:53,893 Why now do you want that drink? 159 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:58,194 Take the leap and find those answers, today, 160 00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:02,006 while you have your entire village surrounding you, 161 00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:04,059 ready to catch you if needed. 162 00:10:09,645 --> 00:10:11,871 Coach Baker always had this thing about shoes. 163 00:10:11,971 --> 00:10:13,820 He said respect started at the feet. 164 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,102 I never understood it 165 00:10:17,465 --> 00:10:19,841 until one day, he gave me a brand-new pair of cleats. 166 00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:21,680 Told me everyone always thought his hands 167 00:10:21,701 --> 00:10:23,318 were the key to his success on the field, 168 00:10:23,382 --> 00:10:24,981 but really it was his footwork. 169 00:10:25,214 --> 00:10:26,845 He said I had the same potential 170 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:31,330 and then every day, he made sure I believed it. 171 00:10:31,558 --> 00:10:34,552 Yeah, he was always good at helping people find their value. 172 00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:37,476 Anyone else wanna share? 173 00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:43,983 I'ma be in this room, same time, every day. 174 00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:45,873 We're all grieving Coach Baker, 175 00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:47,987 but don't nobody gotta do it alone. 176 00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:51,732 Y'all can roll. 177 00:11:00,723 --> 00:11:03,530 - We need to talk about Jabari. - Yeah, I'm worried about him. 178 00:11:03,569 --> 00:11:06,145 He still hasn't resumed his after-school tutoring, 179 00:11:06,185 --> 00:11:08,146 and now he's failed his last two tests. 180 00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:10,211 I don't need to tell you where this path leads 181 00:11:10,229 --> 00:11:13,136 if he doesn't course correct, and fast. 182 00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:21,680 Well, how's that for accuracy? 183 00:11:23,008 --> 00:11:25,002 Liv, you are not foundering. 184 00:11:25,244 --> 00:11:28,187 Just wish you could see yourself the way we see you. 185 00:11:28,207 --> 00:11:31,113 You mean like a cliché that's relapsing 'cause they're grieving? 186 00:11:31,164 --> 00:11:33,255 No, like a badass 187 00:11:33,572 --> 00:11:35,675 who I'm incredibly proud of 188 00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:37,236 for being honest 189 00:11:37,774 --> 00:11:40,188 and letting us be here for her. 190 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,360 But you've been handling everything so well and I'm... 191 00:11:43,392 --> 00:11:44,875 I have not 192 00:11:45,062 --> 00:11:47,580 been handling my grief well at all. 193 00:11:48,661 --> 00:11:50,099 I cry. 194 00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:51,957 Every day. 195 00:11:52,391 --> 00:11:55,323 Mostly in the shower so you guys don't hear me. 196 00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:58,729 And every morning that I can even get out of bed 197 00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:00,496 is nothing short of a miracle. 198 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,668 Mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. 199 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,384 Because I didn't want you to know. 200 00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:10,678 I'm sorry, sweetie. I gotta get this. One second. 201 00:12:10,976 --> 00:12:13,436 Hello? Yes, this is Laura. 202 00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:28,459 Is everything OK? 203 00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:30,485 Yeah. Apparently, in order to get 204 00:12:30,505 --> 00:12:32,672 a copy of your dad's death certificate, 205 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:36,708 the medical examiner needs a copy of his social security card. 206 00:12:36,747 --> 00:12:38,398 Well, is it here? I can help you look. 207 00:12:38,437 --> 00:12:39,725 No. It's at his office. 208 00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,372 But I can get it another day. 209 00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:45,298 Or we... we could go today. I can come with you. 210 00:12:46,256 --> 00:12:49,311 Sweetie, the bottle that you almost drank from 211 00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:51,234 was in Dad's office. 212 00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:54,148 Clearly, it's triggering for you. 213 00:12:55,048 --> 00:12:56,505 I mean, you're right. I... 214 00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:59,437 yeah, I did find the bottle there, but... 215 00:13:00,699 --> 00:13:03,405 I think that's why I need to go back there. 216 00:13:03,548 --> 00:13:05,664 You know, Nurse Joy says she thinks 217 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:08,118 there's more to my wanting to drink than just missing Dad, 218 00:13:08,157 --> 00:13:12,132 and she said that I need to use today to dig deep and find 219 00:13:12,151 --> 00:13:15,103 my real "why" if I'm gonna get through this, so... 220 00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:17,388 If you think it's what you need. 221 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,676 - What up, Coach? - Spence. 222 00:13:28,328 --> 00:13:30,070 Did not expect to see you here. 223 00:13:30,272 --> 00:13:31,890 Had to get a workout in, you know? 224 00:13:31,932 --> 00:13:33,153 I can't blame you. 225 00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:35,023 Grief isn't a straight line, right? 226 00:13:35,321 --> 00:13:37,580 If you need to talk, bruh, I'm here. 227 00:13:37,774 --> 00:13:39,121 Actually, I do. 228 00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,884 Where we at with the team? 229 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:45,263 - That should be the least of your concerns. - It's my only concern. 230 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,451 Look, what happened to Coach Baker is horrible, 231 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,939 but I can't change the past. 232 00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,199 I gotta focus on what's next, and right now, 233 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,348 that's rebuilding GAU's football team. 234 00:13:53,381 --> 00:13:55,588 We'll get there. Let's focus on yourself. 235 00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:57,847 Has A.D. Barnes reached out about the head coaching gig? 236 00:13:57,867 --> 00:13:59,809 - We haven't connected yet. - And what about you? 237 00:13:59,854 --> 00:14:01,168 You reaching out to our new recruits? 238 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,936 - A few here and there. - Are you scheduling workouts? 239 00:14:02,955 --> 00:14:04,703 - Are you working on new plays? What? - Hey, Spence, Spence, 240 00:14:04,729 --> 00:14:06,192 take a beat, all right? 241 00:14:06,218 --> 00:14:08,374 GAU football still has a lot to figure out 242 00:14:08,393 --> 00:14:10,581 before we can even think about rebuilding the program again. 243 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,698 Sounds like you waiting to be told what to do. 244 00:14:13,488 --> 00:14:16,335 Why ain't you in there demanding a meeting with A.D. Barnes? 245 00:14:16,348 --> 00:14:18,918 When did you stop caring about the future of GAU football, man? 246 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,881 I care about this program, and you know that. 247 00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:23,123 But more importantly, I care about you. 248 00:14:23,312 --> 00:14:25,487 And it's clear that you still need more time. 249 00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:28,291 Until then, if you need to talk 250 00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:31,793 or just get a workout in in silence, I'm here. 251 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,392 Nah, I'm good. 252 00:14:40,318 --> 00:14:43,672 Sorry. That conference call went longer than I expected. 253 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,330 Jordan, please tell me you've moved an inch since I left you. 254 00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,041 This is 255 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,671 the last part of my dad that is still alive. 256 00:14:54,411 --> 00:14:56,029 And I know that doesn't make any sense at all, but... 257 00:14:56,045 --> 00:14:58,189 No, it makes total sense. 258 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,272 Hey, when we lose someone we love, 259 00:15:01,288 --> 00:15:03,254 we do everything we can to hold on to them. 260 00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:06,714 OK, but Layla, what if this is where the reminders of him end? 261 00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:08,610 This last box. 262 00:15:10,345 --> 00:15:13,446 About a year ago, I was really missing my mom, 263 00:15:13,595 --> 00:15:17,933 and then this track popped up on my computer 264 00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:20,283 from the recent batch my dad gave me. 265 00:15:28,206 --> 00:15:30,549 It's one of my mom's old songs, 266 00:15:30,957 --> 00:15:34,343 and the chorus goes, "as hard as it can be, 267 00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:36,356 never stop remembering me." 268 00:15:36,783 --> 00:15:39,612 The universe gave me this little reminder when I needed it. 269 00:15:40,408 --> 00:15:42,122 So this box, Jordan, it's just... 270 00:15:42,563 --> 00:15:44,680 just the beginning of your dad's reminders. 271 00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:50,411 Thank you. 272 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,616 You would've never have guessed 273 00:16:01,706 --> 00:16:04,601 that this was just moments after we both got food poisoning 274 00:16:04,711 --> 00:16:07,248 after Dad insisted that we get street fish tacos. 275 00:16:07,274 --> 00:16:09,618 - I tried to warn you guys. - I know. 276 00:16:09,806 --> 00:16:12,615 But Dad was so excited I didn't want him to eat alone. 277 00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:21,192 The memories won't always hurt so much. 278 00:16:21,432 --> 00:16:23,128 Or so they say. 279 00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:31,472 Um, Coop's here to pick me up for her shift. 280 00:16:31,718 --> 00:16:33,563 Do you want me to tell her to come back later? 281 00:16:33,582 --> 00:16:36,379 Oh, no, sweetie. You go. I... I can look for his card. 282 00:16:36,411 --> 00:16:39,739 - Are you sure? - Liv, I'm... I'm OK here. I promise. 283 00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:42,926 - Go. Coop's waiting. - OK. 284 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,423 Bye. 285 00:16:59,539 --> 00:17:01,554 Aah! 286 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,065 Watch where you going, fool. 287 00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:12,777 Hey, hey. Hey! Hey! Hey! 288 00:17:13,149 --> 00:17:15,075 What's wrong with you, man? 289 00:17:24,381 --> 00:17:26,023 You're about 7 weeks along. 290 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,868 Baby's measuring perfectly. 291 00:17:27,968 --> 00:17:30,952 And there's your baby's heartbeat. 292 00:17:31,105 --> 00:17:33,064 We'll get some bloodwork today. 293 00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:36,979 - Wait, what for? - Standard procedure. 294 00:17:37,036 --> 00:17:38,663 Everything's looking good. 295 00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:41,568 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 296 00:17:44,569 --> 00:17:47,159 - I can't believe this is real. - I'm... 297 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:49,465 I'm gonna let you get dressed, OK? 298 00:17:49,481 --> 00:17:51,398 I'll be... I'll be right outside. 299 00:17:54,352 --> 00:17:56,636 Uh, excuse me? 300 00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:58,831 Yes. Mr. Adams. 301 00:17:58,922 --> 00:18:01,019 Are you sure everything looked OK? 302 00:18:01,025 --> 00:18:03,460 I've been doing this a long time. Things looked great. 303 00:18:03,537 --> 00:18:05,149 And the heartbeat. It wasn't... 304 00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,026 wasn't too fast or too slow? 305 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,790 - It was perfect. - What... what about Jaymee's lupus? 306 00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:12,269 We're gonna keep a close eye on her and the baby, 307 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,945 but you really shouldn't worry right now. 308 00:18:13,952 --> 00:18:15,351 Well, on the Internet, it said 309 00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:17,816 - pregnant women who have lupus are... - Let me stop you right there. 310 00:18:17,906 --> 00:18:19,305 Don't read the Internet. 311 00:18:19,376 --> 00:18:22,407 Jaymee's doing really well and takes really good care of herself. 312 00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:25,210 For now, try to enjoy this moment. 313 00:18:30,524 --> 00:18:31,884 What was that about? 314 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,684 Uh, I... I just had a few more questions. 315 00:18:35,729 --> 00:18:37,817 - About my body? - About our baby. 316 00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:39,762 Next time, ask them in front of me. 317 00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:42,062 I know how to take care of myself 318 00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:44,473 and this baby, Ash. 319 00:18:49,522 --> 00:18:50,979 Here we go. 320 00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:53,815 Uh... 321 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,123 OK... 322 00:18:55,162 --> 00:18:57,156 Did you leave any food for anyone else? 323 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,002 Yup, but I figured as long as your mouth is chewing, 324 00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,962 it can't be drinking. 325 00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:04,139 That's one way to approach it. 326 00:19:05,718 --> 00:19:07,220 I still feel like... 327 00:19:07,822 --> 00:19:10,340 There's a lot that's been left unsaid between us 328 00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:11,939 since my breakup with Spencer. 329 00:19:11,997 --> 00:19:13,764 Yeah, but we ain't gotta get into that now. 330 00:19:13,771 --> 00:19:15,389 Actually, um... 331 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:19,428 It's important for both my grief and my sobriety to honestly 332 00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,389 speak up about what I'm feeling, so... 333 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,222 Well, in that case, 334 00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:24,607 go for it. 335 00:19:25,099 --> 00:19:26,569 Full disclosure... 336 00:19:28,854 --> 00:19:30,556 I used to be jealous 337 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,861 of what you and Spencer had. 338 00:19:33,075 --> 00:19:35,684 You were his best friend at South Crenshaw 339 00:19:35,723 --> 00:19:37,845 and I was his best friend at Beverly, 340 00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:41,601 but truthfully, I mean, there was... there was no comparison. 341 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:45,444 I mean, what you and Spencer had and still have is... 342 00:19:46,415 --> 00:19:50,681 An unconditional love that most people can only dream of. 343 00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:52,759 It's seen Spencer through some of 344 00:19:52,830 --> 00:19:54,461 the toughest times in his life. 345 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,409 And as someone who loves him, 346 00:19:56,869 --> 00:19:59,549 your loyalty to him is something that I'm grateful for. 347 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:04,281 Well, since we're being all honest and stuff, 348 00:20:04,456 --> 00:20:05,874 I actually was... 349 00:20:06,022 --> 00:20:09,887 I was scared when you two started dating that I'd lose him. 350 00:20:09,952 --> 00:20:11,778 That there'd be no room for me. 351 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,074 But you made sure there was. 352 00:20:14,174 --> 00:20:15,617 I don't think... 353 00:20:16,456 --> 00:20:18,148 I don't think I ever said thank you. 354 00:20:19,727 --> 00:20:21,321 I learned that from my dad. 355 00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:23,383 He always made room in his heart 356 00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,475 for whoever walked through our front door. 357 00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:28,576 It never took anything away from what he felt for us. 358 00:20:28,777 --> 00:20:30,822 You know, he just made the extra room. 359 00:20:30,899 --> 00:20:32,524 That's such a beautiful thing. 360 00:20:32,582 --> 00:20:35,651 Plus, um, confession number two? 361 00:20:36,091 --> 00:20:38,538 I made room for you for selfish reasons 362 00:20:38,641 --> 00:20:41,037 'cause I wanted some of that Coop magic in my life. 363 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,684 Come on, man. 364 00:20:44,137 --> 00:20:46,707 And look at us now. We're not just friends. 365 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:49,348 We're roommates, sobriety partners, 366 00:20:49,484 --> 00:20:50,571 family. 367 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,150 I missed you, Liv. 368 00:20:52,746 --> 00:20:54,202 I've missed our friendship. 369 00:20:54,299 --> 00:20:55,717 Me, too. 370 00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:08,048 Hey. 371 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,009 How was your day? 372 00:21:10,799 --> 00:21:12,301 Good. You really been here this whole time? 373 00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,374 No, I left but I came back 374 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,057 and Jaymee and Asher, you know, let me in. 375 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,430 OK, look, um, 376 00:21:17,437 --> 00:21:19,274 as much as I appreciate all this, 377 00:21:19,439 --> 00:21:21,249 you really don't gotta fold my laundry, OK? 378 00:21:21,262 --> 00:21:24,382 Wait. I don't mind, OK? Plus, it's no big deal. 379 00:21:26,149 --> 00:21:28,589 Hey, how about we watch a movie, 380 00:21:28,596 --> 00:21:30,473 - snack on some cold hot cakes? - Sure. 381 00:21:30,758 --> 00:21:32,254 - Movie sounds great. - OK. 382 00:21:32,338 --> 00:21:33,840 But we warming up those hot cakes, OK? 383 00:21:33,853 --> 00:21:35,892 OK. OK. 384 00:21:37,335 --> 00:21:39,077 Uh, hey. 385 00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:41,006 Is, uh, Asher around? 386 00:21:41,078 --> 00:21:42,495 He's not here. 387 00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:43,913 Um, it's OK. 388 00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:46,482 - We're a little early anyway, so... - Early for what? 389 00:21:46,547 --> 00:21:47,751 Asher's shift is up. 390 00:21:47,771 --> 00:21:49,628 He was gonna take Liv to her A.A. meeting. 391 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,945 I'd do it, but I gotta make it to another class. 392 00:21:51,984 --> 00:21:53,608 I can wait on the patio. 393 00:21:53,641 --> 00:21:55,525 I'm sure he'll be here any sec. 394 00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:58,082 Actually, he took Jaymee to a doctor's appointment. 395 00:21:58,101 --> 00:21:59,318 I don't know when he'll be back. 396 00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:01,888 Is she OK? Did her lupus flare back up or... 397 00:22:01,914 --> 00:22:03,248 I'll do it. 398 00:22:04,912 --> 00:22:06,174 I'll take you. 399 00:22:07,074 --> 00:22:09,449 Are you sure? I don't want to interrupt. 400 00:22:09,449 --> 00:22:10,654 No, you're not. 401 00:22:10,692 --> 00:22:12,291 We was just about to watch a movie, 402 00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:15,761 but from everything I heard today, sounds like your situation 403 00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:17,243 is a little more life and death 404 00:22:17,857 --> 00:22:19,503 so, um... 405 00:22:20,390 --> 00:22:21,982 - raincheck? - Yeah. 406 00:22:22,532 --> 00:22:23,995 Of course. Sure. 407 00:22:27,381 --> 00:22:28,565 Thank you. 408 00:22:29,297 --> 00:22:30,501 Both of you. 409 00:22:30,987 --> 00:22:32,062 Mm-hmm. 410 00:22:32,437 --> 00:22:33,753 OK. 411 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,757 OK. 412 00:22:43,610 --> 00:22:45,008 Yo, you good? 413 00:22:45,811 --> 00:22:47,293 Buster got in my way. 414 00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:49,637 You can't be hitting everybody that gets 415 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:51,191 in your way because you angry. 416 00:22:51,268 --> 00:22:53,275 Look, I know you hurtin'. We all are. 417 00:22:53,301 --> 00:22:55,334 And I can't even imagine what else you been goin' through 418 00:22:55,372 --> 00:22:57,288 - after being on that bus. - You wasting my time. 419 00:22:57,301 --> 00:22:59,495 - Can I go now? - Man, sit your ass down. 420 00:23:06,584 --> 00:23:09,206 Look, I'll never be Coach Baker, 421 00:23:09,517 --> 00:23:11,776 but I'm sure as hell gonna keep his legacy alive 422 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,957 by looking after his South Crenshaw kids. 423 00:23:13,983 --> 00:23:15,355 Am I supposed to say thank you? 424 00:23:15,368 --> 00:23:17,012 You ain't gotta say nothing to me. 425 00:23:17,116 --> 00:23:20,482 But you can't let your future go to waste because you in pain. 426 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,904 Talk to somebody. Anyone. 427 00:23:23,065 --> 00:23:26,813 Or that grief will eat you alive. 428 00:23:34,918 --> 00:23:37,385 You're probably wondering why I didn't call you over this morning. 429 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:38,861 You called who you needed. 430 00:23:39,058 --> 00:23:42,261 No, I called who I didn't think I'd be burdening. 431 00:23:45,238 --> 00:23:47,626 You've saved my life enough times, Spencer. 432 00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:51,161 It didn't feel fair to lay this at your feet too after everything. 433 00:23:51,796 --> 00:23:53,447 That night at the hospital, 434 00:23:53,861 --> 00:23:55,550 after I got shot, 435 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,700 you thanked me for saving your life. 436 00:23:57,712 --> 00:23:59,131 You remember what I said? 437 00:24:00,432 --> 00:24:03,108 - You said anytime. - And I meant it. 438 00:24:08,358 --> 00:24:11,169 - So how bad's it been? - Last night was the worst of it. 439 00:24:11,597 --> 00:24:14,063 That's why I'm searching for clarity today. 440 00:24:15,157 --> 00:24:17,177 I miss him so much. 441 00:24:17,598 --> 00:24:18,821 I know. 442 00:24:24,996 --> 00:24:26,479 Oh, my God. 443 00:24:26,751 --> 00:24:29,068 My dad used to love pop up carnivals. 444 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,018 I called them deathtraps in the making 445 00:24:33,043 --> 00:24:35,815 but he always used to say they were like 446 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,217 roses that bloom in concrete... 447 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:41,104 a beautiful surprise. 448 00:24:45,337 --> 00:24:46,522 What are you doing? 449 00:24:46,574 --> 00:24:48,787 We got 45 minutes before your meeting, right? 450 00:24:50,049 --> 00:24:51,292 Trust me. 451 00:24:56,432 --> 00:24:58,097 Whoo! 452 00:25:00,769 --> 00:25:02,135 You're not serious. 453 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,096 Yeah, you wanted clarity, right? 454 00:25:04,627 --> 00:25:07,690 It doesn't get quieter or more zen than up there. 455 00:25:07,877 --> 00:25:10,370 Carnivals were your pop's thing, 456 00:25:10,686 --> 00:25:13,789 so you already got a connection to him here. Just try it. 457 00:25:15,779 --> 00:25:18,418 It's the closest to heaven we're gonna get from where we are. 458 00:25:19,324 --> 00:25:21,381 Can we just take a second? 459 00:25:21,613 --> 00:25:23,871 I don't know. Maybe play some games or something first? 460 00:25:23,923 --> 00:25:26,242 - Liv. - I'll go up. 461 00:25:26,630 --> 00:25:28,128 I will. 462 00:25:28,459 --> 00:25:30,189 I'm just... 463 00:25:30,644 --> 00:25:32,452 I'm... I'm not ready yet. 464 00:25:36,358 --> 00:25:38,291 How about the basketball toss? 465 00:25:38,825 --> 00:25:41,261 Last time I went up against you, you whooped my ass. 466 00:25:41,286 --> 00:25:43,236 Sounds like you're scared to get your ass beat again. 467 00:25:43,268 --> 00:25:45,242 OK. All right. Let's go. 468 00:25:45,274 --> 00:25:46,997 Game on, woman. 469 00:25:51,723 --> 00:25:53,706 - It's impossible. - It's not impossible. 470 00:25:53,722 --> 00:25:55,446 - You gotta believe. - You gotta just... 471 00:25:56,069 --> 00:25:57,720 It works. 472 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:11,370 Chill out. Chill out. 473 00:26:15,172 --> 00:26:16,556 Whoo! 474 00:26:16,791 --> 00:26:18,442 Ahh! 475 00:26:18,474 --> 00:26:20,473 OK. Somebody get me a football. 476 00:26:23,572 --> 00:26:25,118 I feel like I was hustled. 477 00:26:27,667 --> 00:26:29,748 - You ready? - No. 478 00:26:31,392 --> 00:26:33,191 But I'm gonna do it anyway. 479 00:26:53,012 --> 00:26:54,494 OK. 480 00:26:55,245 --> 00:26:56,596 I'm up here. 481 00:26:57,776 --> 00:26:59,304 Close your eyes. 482 00:27:00,780 --> 00:27:02,341 Take in the quiet. 483 00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:12,886 Wow. 484 00:27:15,210 --> 00:27:17,196 It's like I'm in the clouds. 485 00:27:21,042 --> 00:27:24,175 This is the closest I've felt to him since he's been gone. 486 00:27:26,072 --> 00:27:29,792 You wanted clarity on why his loss was pushing you to drink. 487 00:27:31,971 --> 00:27:33,873 Talk to him... 488 00:27:35,084 --> 00:27:36,411 In here. 489 00:27:39,502 --> 00:27:41,962 Only you and him can figure this out. 490 00:28:31,756 --> 00:28:34,125 - Spices and frozen meat? - Hmm. 491 00:28:34,229 --> 00:28:36,281 - Ooh, the meat is a little thawed. - Oh. 492 00:28:36,294 --> 00:28:38,365 Mm. I am grateful 493 00:28:38,378 --> 00:28:40,274 you didn't keep that package sealed forever, 494 00:28:40,533 --> 00:28:41,970 'cause that smell would've divided us. 495 00:28:42,009 --> 00:28:43,298 - OK. Really? - Yeah. 496 00:28:43,356 --> 00:28:45,460 But what is... what is all this... all this for? 497 00:28:45,681 --> 00:28:48,381 - Oh. Louisiana night. - What? 498 00:28:48,497 --> 00:28:51,158 Well, I saw a flyer on the table at your parents' house. 499 00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:53,436 South Crenshaw's hosting a "Louisiana night" next week. 500 00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:57,663 My dad must've been making my grandma Mary's jumpin' jambalaya. 501 00:28:57,702 --> 00:28:59,968 He always said he perfected the recipe 502 00:28:59,981 --> 00:29:02,091 with his secret ingredient. 503 00:29:02,117 --> 00:29:03,690 - What is it? - Whoa! 504 00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:05,864 - A secret. - OK. 505 00:29:05,890 --> 00:29:08,428 But now I remember why it's called "jumpin' jambalaya." 506 00:29:08,466 --> 00:29:11,204 Mm. Well, I mean, we can't let this go to waste, 507 00:29:11,372 --> 00:29:15,185 so I say we end the day the same way we started it. 508 00:29:15,645 --> 00:29:16,901 All together. 509 00:29:17,031 --> 00:29:20,539 Family dinner, making your dad's jambalaya, yeah? 510 00:29:20,565 --> 00:29:21,749 - I say let's do it. - OK. 511 00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:22,947 Yeah. 512 00:29:23,892 --> 00:29:25,204 Can I get you anything? 513 00:29:27,005 --> 00:29:28,378 I'm fine... 514 00:29:30,358 --> 00:29:31,990 But you can tell me what's going on with you. 515 00:29:32,191 --> 00:29:34,910 You couldn't even enjoy hearing your baby's heartbeat today. 516 00:29:35,726 --> 00:29:38,030 Why are you so freaked out about the baby all of a sudden? 517 00:29:38,594 --> 00:29:40,386 It's not the baby that has me freaked out. 518 00:29:41,525 --> 00:29:42,982 It's the bus crash. 519 00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:47,688 One minute everything is fine and then the next... 520 00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:52,748 We're on the side of a cliff and Coach is dead. 521 00:29:55,072 --> 00:29:57,078 I learned the hard way that nothing is promised 522 00:29:57,098 --> 00:29:58,703 and now I can't stop thinking about 523 00:29:58,736 --> 00:30:01,130 something bad happening to you or the baby. 524 00:30:01,687 --> 00:30:03,118 You both are my whole world. 525 00:30:03,144 --> 00:30:05,235 You're our whole world, too. 526 00:30:06,257 --> 00:30:09,145 And you're right. Nothing is promised. 527 00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:12,227 That's why we have to live in the now. 528 00:30:12,700 --> 00:30:15,580 Find joy in the now. 529 00:30:16,616 --> 00:30:18,718 Have you thought about talking to someone? 530 00:30:19,601 --> 00:30:20,999 I'm talking to you. 531 00:30:21,595 --> 00:30:24,985 I mean someone that can help you deal with your PTSD. 532 00:30:25,486 --> 00:30:27,341 Someone that can help you start believing 533 00:30:27,386 --> 00:30:30,053 that you deserve all of the good things in your life. 534 00:30:30,875 --> 00:30:32,648 Yeah, maybe you're right. 535 00:30:38,818 --> 00:30:40,539 Asher, it's fine. 536 00:30:40,921 --> 00:30:43,214 Really. I got to my A.A. meeting. 537 00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:47,039 Jordan's already here to pick me up. I promise. 538 00:30:47,460 --> 00:30:49,330 I'll see you guys back at the house later. 539 00:30:49,729 --> 00:30:52,043 So, what was that? 540 00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:55,297 - Apology number 9 or... - Yeah, something like that. 541 00:30:56,552 --> 00:30:57,996 Thanks for coming to get me. 542 00:30:58,028 --> 00:31:00,100 Been looking forward to my shift all day. 543 00:31:00,656 --> 00:31:02,035 How was A.A.? 544 00:31:02,631 --> 00:31:04,398 Everything I needed. 545 00:31:08,391 --> 00:31:10,169 All of today was. 546 00:31:10,418 --> 00:31:11,661 I'm proud of you. 547 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,017 You know, for the first time today, 548 00:31:14,962 --> 00:31:17,824 I can honestly say I'm really proud of myself, too. 549 00:31:21,837 --> 00:31:23,656 I think I found my why. 550 00:31:24,161 --> 00:31:26,083 It's the silence. 551 00:31:27,818 --> 00:31:31,113 And not, you know, just, like, the quiet, but 552 00:31:31,553 --> 00:31:35,437 the silence in things left unsaid. 553 00:31:37,793 --> 00:31:39,852 Silence in friendship, 554 00:31:40,667 --> 00:31:43,465 relationship, and... 555 00:31:45,342 --> 00:31:47,789 Especially the silence of death. 556 00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:52,716 Silence is the hardest thing for me to face. 557 00:31:54,367 --> 00:31:58,412 And I think I finally realised that up on that ferris wheel. 558 00:32:00,762 --> 00:32:02,516 And yet you're facing it. 559 00:32:06,433 --> 00:32:08,446 What about others, you know? 560 00:32:09,754 --> 00:32:11,630 People like me who are... 561 00:32:12,007 --> 00:32:15,866 Equally scared of the silence, but don't have a village to turn to? 562 00:32:21,045 --> 00:32:24,378 - What? - I know that look. 563 00:32:24,514 --> 00:32:26,210 - What look? - The look that Dad 564 00:32:26,225 --> 00:32:28,495 always said meant you were about to do something 565 00:32:28,527 --> 00:32:30,631 that would change the world for good. 566 00:32:32,878 --> 00:32:35,240 All right. Let's go home. 567 00:32:45,973 --> 00:32:47,507 Am I doing this right? 568 00:32:47,585 --> 00:32:48,925 Mom, it's just rice. 569 00:32:48,957 --> 00:32:50,563 It's really hard to mess up. 570 00:32:50,718 --> 00:32:51,949 You'd be surprised. 571 00:32:51,974 --> 00:32:54,564 The one time your dad asked me to help, 572 00:32:54,610 --> 00:32:56,772 let's just say I was never asked back. 573 00:32:56,817 --> 00:32:58,622 Do you guys remember the time 574 00:32:58,667 --> 00:33:00,545 that Dad threw out the entire pot 575 00:33:00,577 --> 00:33:02,907 because Liv used vegetable stock 576 00:33:02,933 --> 00:33:04,487 - instead of chicken stock? - Mm-hmm. 577 00:33:04,506 --> 00:33:07,147 It wasn't my fault. He bought the wrong thing. 578 00:33:07,302 --> 00:33:09,374 Asher, you sure you know 579 00:33:09,413 --> 00:33:11,147 - what you're doing over there, bruh? - Green peppers... 580 00:33:11,257 --> 00:33:12,889 Hi. 581 00:33:13,064 --> 00:33:14,274 Hi. 582 00:33:14,655 --> 00:33:16,757 - My dad would've loved this. - Hmm. 583 00:33:17,142 --> 00:33:20,042 Kitchen full of his family and friends, cooking his favourite meal. 584 00:33:20,100 --> 00:33:23,084 - He'd probably even use my mom's rice, which is... - Wow. 585 00:33:23,143 --> 00:33:24,515 So thank you. 586 00:33:24,742 --> 00:33:26,541 Why? I didn't do anything. 587 00:33:26,631 --> 00:33:29,662 This has been the worst couple weeks of my life 588 00:33:29,710 --> 00:33:32,821 and every step of the way, you've known exactly what I needed. 589 00:33:33,908 --> 00:33:35,954 I'm so grateful to have you. 590 00:33:36,276 --> 00:33:37,572 Ahem. 591 00:33:39,786 --> 00:33:41,741 I guess this is your coming out dinner. 592 00:33:43,573 --> 00:33:45,105 Huh. 593 00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:47,036 - I guess so. - Ooh, OK. Enough. 594 00:33:47,062 --> 00:33:49,509 You guys are making me lose my appetite with all this sap. 595 00:33:49,541 --> 00:33:52,163 For real. You two need to get a room, like, asap. 596 00:33:52,195 --> 00:33:54,649 Bro, they already got a room, and I share a wall with 'em. 597 00:33:54,655 --> 00:33:57,289 - OK! Thank you. - Oh, wow. 598 00:33:57,328 --> 00:33:59,768 Can we get back to cooking, please? 599 00:33:59,826 --> 00:34:01,425 - Yes. - I'm hungry. 600 00:34:01,464 --> 00:34:03,101 - Yeah. - What I was gonna say was that... 601 00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:06,144 - No, chill out. - Oh, no. That's OK. 602 00:34:11,848 --> 00:34:14,962 So... 603 00:34:15,285 --> 00:34:19,408 In my quest to embrace full honesty today, um... 604 00:34:20,780 --> 00:34:24,005 I guess we should talk about what I said a couple weeks ago. 605 00:34:24,186 --> 00:34:26,038 Before your life turned upside down. 606 00:34:26,167 --> 00:34:27,992 Yours turned upside down, too. 607 00:34:30,771 --> 00:34:33,275 You know, I've always admired you for how brave you are. 608 00:34:33,676 --> 00:34:35,995 Telling me you wanted me back couldn't have been easy. 609 00:34:36,694 --> 00:34:40,085 And we owe each other an honest conversation about what we feel 610 00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:43,588 and where we stand, but... 611 00:34:44,319 --> 00:34:46,728 I want to have it when we're clear-headed. 612 00:34:46,786 --> 00:34:48,960 - Mm. - When the battle for your sobriety 613 00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:51,109 ain't at defcon four and I ain't... 614 00:34:53,673 --> 00:34:55,201 What were you gonna say? 615 00:34:57,804 --> 00:34:59,972 Spencer, 616 00:35:00,244 --> 00:35:01,850 my dad was like a dad to you. 617 00:35:01,876 --> 00:35:04,445 It's all good. It's all good. I'm just... 618 00:35:06,018 --> 00:35:08,019 I'm just glad I could be there for you today. 619 00:35:09,729 --> 00:35:12,914 And, uh, and we'll have that conversation when the time's right. 620 00:35:15,056 --> 00:35:16,435 That's a promise. 621 00:35:24,093 --> 00:35:25,446 What's all this? 622 00:35:26,903 --> 00:35:28,903 I think I'm gonna bring back "Live the Truth." 623 00:35:29,830 --> 00:35:33,173 Um, I have some things I want to say to you guys 624 00:35:33,564 --> 00:35:36,877 and anyone else who needs to hear it. 625 00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:49,700 The bond between a father and a daughter... 626 00:35:52,212 --> 00:35:54,128 There's absolutely nothing like it. 627 00:35:55,095 --> 00:35:58,938 I always used to say my mom gave me my drive but... 628 00:36:00,123 --> 00:36:02,446 my dad gave me my dreams. 629 00:36:02,919 --> 00:36:05,546 You know, as little girls, we dream of all 630 00:36:05,586 --> 00:36:08,052 the big life moments we're gonna share with our dads. 631 00:36:08,919 --> 00:36:11,024 The problem is, while we're dreaming 632 00:36:11,030 --> 00:36:13,522 those big dreams of life with our hero, 633 00:36:14,261 --> 00:36:17,387 no one ever warns us that those same dreams 634 00:36:17,397 --> 00:36:20,443 can be cut short. That we could just... 635 00:36:21,686 --> 00:36:24,262 Wake up one day and our dads just be... 636 00:36:26,132 --> 00:36:27,525 Gone. 637 00:36:28,554 --> 00:36:31,207 The silence from that loss is, uh, 638 00:36:31,411 --> 00:36:33,104 deafening. 639 00:36:34,014 --> 00:36:36,116 And the desire to run from it... 640 00:36:36,950 --> 00:36:39,880 It's overwhelming. 641 00:36:40,096 --> 00:36:41,817 But I'm here to tell you, 642 00:36:42,222 --> 00:36:43,986 don't run. 643 00:36:44,224 --> 00:36:46,086 Gather your village. 644 00:36:46,186 --> 00:36:47,870 Face the silence... 645 00:36:50,213 --> 00:36:52,291 And whatever feelings come with it. 646 00:36:55,277 --> 00:36:57,626 It can be feelings of abandonment, 647 00:36:58,118 --> 00:36:59,788 feelings of fear. 648 00:37:05,718 --> 00:37:07,893 "I don't want you to feel pressured by me, 649 00:37:08,035 --> 00:37:09,984 so I'm gonna take a step back. 650 00:37:10,436 --> 00:37:13,609 If you need me, you know where to find me." 651 00:37:23,507 --> 00:37:25,300 Now's not a good time, Coach. 652 00:37:26,032 --> 00:37:27,844 Just came to check on you. 653 00:37:27,973 --> 00:37:29,805 Our conversation earlier, 654 00:37:29,896 --> 00:37:32,174 it went in a direction that I didn't expect. 655 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,230 OK, OK, so now you checked. I'm good. 656 00:37:35,275 --> 00:37:37,858 - I'm here for you, son. - I love you, son. 657 00:37:37,910 --> 00:37:39,612 I do consider you my son. 658 00:37:39,632 --> 00:37:41,632 - I just want you to know... - Don't call me son. 659 00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:45,265 I don't need a daddy, man. 660 00:37:45,969 --> 00:37:48,714 I don't need a mentor or even a friend. 661 00:37:48,999 --> 00:37:51,569 - Spence, I... - I need a damn coach. 662 00:37:51,666 --> 00:37:53,038 That is it. 663 00:37:53,756 --> 00:37:56,229 Somebody who's gonna do whatever it takes to win 664 00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:58,002 and get me to the NFL. 665 00:37:58,022 --> 00:38:02,113 That is all I can count on and that negro ain't you! 666 00:38:03,777 --> 00:38:06,735 I shoulda listened to those coaches at TNT and Toledo. 667 00:38:07,147 --> 00:38:09,532 All they cared about was the game. 668 00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:12,257 I'm done wasting my time with you, man, 669 00:38:12,626 --> 00:38:14,542 and GAU football. 670 00:38:15,785 --> 00:38:17,909 So consider this my official notice. 671 00:38:19,534 --> 00:38:21,191 I'm entering the portal. 672 00:38:21,657 --> 00:38:23,722 Sometimes, it feels like anger. 673 00:38:24,427 --> 00:38:26,202 And that was my epiphany today. 674 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:30,177 I'm angry at my dad for dying. 675 00:38:30,662 --> 00:38:32,857 And hiding from that truth almost cost me 676 00:38:32,870 --> 00:38:34,805 my sanity and my sobriety. 677 00:38:36,644 --> 00:38:39,829 So now I'm speaking my truth out loud not just for me, 678 00:38:40,580 --> 00:38:43,964 but for anyone else who's going through something similar. 679 00:38:44,250 --> 00:38:48,070 - Sorry, Mrs. Baker. I was just... - No, no, it's OK, it's OK. 680 00:38:48,439 --> 00:38:49,935 Preach told me you were here. 681 00:38:50,686 --> 00:38:52,563 Please, stay. 682 00:39:06,876 --> 00:39:08,908 The silence is loud, isn't it? 683 00:39:11,588 --> 00:39:14,741 Leaves a lot of room for your mind to play tricks on you 684 00:39:14,775 --> 00:39:16,592 if you don't face it head on. 685 00:39:16,871 --> 00:39:18,165 It don't matter. 686 00:39:18,780 --> 00:39:21,694 - I don't matter. - Yes, you do matter. 687 00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:24,600 That's why my husband went back for you. 688 00:39:24,853 --> 00:39:28,077 You can't keep carrying all this guilt, Jabari. 689 00:39:28,329 --> 00:39:30,660 It's not what Billy would have wanted. 690 00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:33,974 Tell me... 691 00:39:35,715 --> 00:39:37,587 What happened when... 692 00:39:38,344 --> 00:39:40,435 When Billy went back on the bus. 693 00:39:41,206 --> 00:39:42,542 No. 694 00:39:43,420 --> 00:39:44,745 No, I'm sorry. 695 00:39:45,233 --> 00:39:47,507 I... I've already caused you enough pain. 696 00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:49,615 And you don't want to hear that. 697 00:39:49,654 --> 00:39:51,822 No. I don't. 698 00:39:53,013 --> 00:39:54,729 But I need to. 699 00:39:55,777 --> 00:39:57,027 And you need... 700 00:39:57,629 --> 00:39:59,027 To release it. 701 00:40:03,008 --> 00:40:05,073 Jabari! 702 00:40:05,721 --> 00:40:07,152 Jabari! 703 00:40:07,281 --> 00:40:09,915 All right, take my hand. All right, come on. 704 00:40:09,948 --> 00:40:12,168 All right, use this leg. 705 00:40:12,214 --> 00:40:15,516 There we go. OK. 706 00:40:15,555 --> 00:40:17,419 All right, you good? 707 00:40:17,490 --> 00:40:18,927 All right. What do you say 708 00:40:19,283 --> 00:40:20,895 we get off this damn bus? 709 00:40:22,122 --> 00:40:23,835 Oh! Whoa! Whoa. 710 00:40:23,887 --> 00:40:26,049 OK, this is gonna be fun. OK. 711 00:40:26,547 --> 00:40:28,457 All right. We got this. Um, 712 00:40:28,528 --> 00:40:30,781 we're just gonna go one at a time, right? 713 00:40:31,299 --> 00:40:33,526 Gonna be easy. One at a time. You go first. 714 00:40:33,985 --> 00:40:35,474 You go first. One at a time. 715 00:40:35,545 --> 00:40:37,721 You got it. I'm right behind you, Jabary. 716 00:40:37,746 --> 00:40:39,598 There we go. My man. 717 00:40:39,682 --> 00:40:43,183 Ah! All right, Coach. Come on. It's your turn. 718 00:40:45,818 --> 00:40:49,333 Tell my family that I love them. 719 00:40:52,078 --> 00:40:54,836 Coach! 720 00:40:59,549 --> 00:41:01,847 There's nothing you could have done, Jabari. 721 00:41:05,070 --> 00:41:06,446 Look at me. 722 00:41:09,142 --> 00:41:10,760 There is nothing 723 00:41:11,595 --> 00:41:14,262 that you could have done. 724 00:41:17,090 --> 00:41:19,052 For whoever is out there listening, 725 00:41:19,965 --> 00:41:21,383 I need you to know 726 00:41:22,192 --> 00:41:24,289 that you aren't alone in your grief. 727 00:41:26,762 --> 00:41:28,885 And if you don't have anyone to turn to, 728 00:41:29,749 --> 00:41:31,481 I will be here for you. 729 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,601 Because when you can't hold yourself up, 730 00:41:37,688 --> 00:41:41,851 it's lifesaving to have a village that'll do that for you. 731 00:41:55,693 --> 00:42:00,141 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 732 00:42:15,235 --> 00:42:17,237 Greg, move your head.