1 00:00:01,412 --> 00:00:03,956 [Keith] Previously on Black Monday... 2 00:00:03,998 --> 00:00:04,999 [yells] 3 00:00:05,041 --> 00:00:06,584 Ms. Nomi Maldana, 4 00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:08,544 our latest signing to KokoMo Co Records. 5 00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,505 And your fiancée. We're getting hitched, y'all. 6 00:00:11,547 --> 00:00:12,298 Yeah. 7 00:00:12,339 --> 00:00:13,632 [Harris] At some point in your life, 8 00:00:13,674 --> 00:00:16,469 you stopped caring about anybody but yourself. 9 00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:19,055 From now on, I'm gonna be good and true. 10 00:00:19,096 --> 00:00:22,224 How about unlimited power, sex, and money? 11 00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:24,018 A million dollars went missing from the company last night. 12 00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:26,979 Political donations are a legitimate business expense. 13 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:28,647 Fuck it, I'm through. Whoo! Whoo! 14 00:00:37,073 --> 00:00:39,742 Ooh, baby, baby 15 00:00:39,784 --> 00:00:41,035 Baby, baby 16 00:00:41,077 --> 00:00:43,120 Ooh, baby, baby 17 00:00:43,162 --> 00:00:44,663 Baby, baby 18 00:00:44,705 --> 00:00:45,414 Get up on this 19 00:00:45,456 --> 00:00:48,417 Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" 20 00:00:48,459 --> 00:00:51,879 upbeat electronic music 21 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,048 Pssh, ah, push it! 22 00:00:55,758 --> 00:00:56,759 [sniffs] 23 00:01:01,138 --> 00:01:02,932 Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby pop 24 00:01:02,973 --> 00:01:05,434 Yeah, you, come here, give me a kiss 25 00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:08,521 Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed 26 00:01:08,562 --> 00:01:10,940 Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard 27 00:01:10,981 --> 00:01:12,608 Like I wish you would? 28 00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:14,068 Now push it 29 00:01:15,986 --> 00:01:17,696 Push it good 30 00:01:19,115 --> 00:01:21,242 Push it real good! 31 00:01:21,283 --> 00:01:23,494 [grunts, shudders] 32 00:01:23,536 --> 00:01:25,746 [laughter] 33 00:01:25,788 --> 00:01:28,290 [all cheering] 34 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,251 Ah, push it 35 00:01:34,171 --> 00:01:36,006 Nancy, hello. Good to see you. 36 00:01:36,048 --> 00:01:39,051 Don't work too hard. Hey, Diane. 37 00:01:39,093 --> 00:01:40,177 Get up on this 38 00:01:40,219 --> 00:01:42,513 Push-push-push it, push it 39 00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:45,558 [retching] 40 00:01:45,599 --> 00:01:49,019 [groans, coughs] 41 00:01:49,061 --> 00:01:50,563 We can't afford this. 42 00:01:50,604 --> 00:01:53,232 Okay, I am the one they call "Jeansus." 43 00:01:53,274 --> 00:01:55,860 Okay, well then call me "Jew-das." 44 00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:57,278 Emphasis on the Jew, okay? 45 00:01:57,319 --> 00:01:59,405 That's what I've been calling you behind your back. 46 00:01:59,446 --> 00:02:01,031 [accordion playing funeral march on stereo] 47 00:02:01,073 --> 00:02:01,949 What the-- 48 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,785 -Fuck is this? -Ooh, boy. 49 00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:12,835 Tiff. 50 00:02:14,336 --> 00:02:16,839 -Tiff. -[Tiff] Baby girl. 51 00:02:16,881 --> 00:02:18,340 Wow. 52 00:02:18,382 --> 00:02:19,884 That's enough, Dustin. 53 00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:21,177 [Tiff] I am so sorry. 54 00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:23,679 I can't imagine what it's like to lose a father 55 00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:24,930 who didn't kidnap you. 56 00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:27,099 Pastor was an amazing man. 57 00:02:27,141 --> 00:02:30,102 Yeah, well, at least he's with God now. 58 00:02:30,144 --> 00:02:32,855 And Jesus, right? Was Jesus up there too? 59 00:02:32,897 --> 00:02:35,816 I-I know there's a third one. Uh, is it ghost? 60 00:02:35,858 --> 00:02:37,193 Silence, usurper. 61 00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:40,112 Corkie, if there's absolutely anything you need, 62 00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:41,572 please, just say the word. 63 00:02:41,614 --> 00:02:42,907 The word. 64 00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:45,159 [laughing] 65 00:02:45,201 --> 00:02:47,703 Sorry, you have to laugh in times like these. 66 00:02:47,745 --> 00:02:48,704 Yeah. 67 00:02:48,746 --> 00:02:50,080 Tiff, could I ask you 68 00:02:50,122 --> 00:02:53,542 to take care of the pastor's funeral? 69 00:02:53,584 --> 00:02:54,376 I can't. 70 00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:56,962 Of course, of course. I would love to. 71 00:02:57,004 --> 00:02:59,298 Daddy left very detailed instructions, 72 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,051 and his funeral must rival the King of Kings himself. 73 00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:05,095 Oh, a giant stone to roll in front of his tomb 74 00:03:05,137 --> 00:03:06,513 -à la Christ the King. -Okay. 75 00:03:06,555 --> 00:03:08,766 A gold casket à la Tut the King. 76 00:03:08,807 --> 00:03:11,894 NDAs for his affairs à la Martin Luther the King. 77 00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:14,230 Chicken à la King. Wow. 78 00:03:14,271 --> 00:03:16,523 Well, at least the church is sending him off in style. 79 00:03:16,565 --> 00:03:19,068 Oh, as if. The church is completely broke. 80 00:03:19,109 --> 00:03:21,862 Turns out living in a jet that never lands adds up. 81 00:03:21,904 --> 00:03:22,780 Sure. 82 00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:23,989 But we've been doing so well. 83 00:03:24,031 --> 00:03:25,282 It shouldn't be a problem, right, Tiff? 84 00:03:25,324 --> 00:03:28,744 I'm sorry, you expect Pfaffashions to pay for this? 85 00:03:28,786 --> 00:03:29,703 I spent a lot of time 86 00:03:29,745 --> 00:03:31,247 getting this company ready to go public, 87 00:03:31,288 --> 00:03:33,999 and we can't be seen spending money on a funeral like this. 88 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:35,209 The Street is gonna go crazy. 89 00:03:35,251 --> 00:03:37,836 Blessfully, it's not up to you. It's up to the board. 90 00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:41,799 Tiff, me, Daddy--whose vote I now control--you, and Larry. 91 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,592 All those in favor? 92 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,429 -Opposed? -Yeah, fucking nay. 93 00:03:47,471 --> 00:03:51,350 Ooh, it looks like nay is for horses, Keith. 94 00:03:51,392 --> 00:03:52,810 [both laughing] 95 00:03:52,851 --> 00:03:55,479 Uh, not that funny. Okay. 96 00:03:55,521 --> 00:03:56,939 -You're right. -No. 97 00:03:56,981 --> 00:03:58,148 We do have to laugh. 98 00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,275 -You have to laugh. -We have to laugh! 99 00:03:59,316 --> 00:04:00,276 [Corkie] Especially when it's hard. 100 00:04:00,317 --> 00:04:01,318 Why don't we laugh 101 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,736 and then not spend the cash? 102 00:04:02,778 --> 00:04:03,696 How 'bout that? 103 00:04:03,737 --> 00:04:04,822 Tiff, thank you. 104 00:04:04,863 --> 00:04:06,573 Keith, fudge you. 105 00:04:06,615 --> 00:04:07,950 [sobs] 106 00:04:07,992 --> 00:04:09,243 [funeral march resumes] 107 00:04:09,285 --> 00:04:10,828 [Corkie sobbing] 108 00:04:10,869 --> 00:04:11,787 What the fuck, Tiff? 109 00:04:11,829 --> 00:04:14,164 This is corporate suicide and actual murder. 110 00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:16,500 When Larry finds out about this, he's going to kill me. 111 00:04:16,542 --> 00:04:18,127 I have tried to tell you this, Keith: 112 00:04:18,168 --> 00:04:19,712 this is my company, 113 00:04:19,753 --> 00:04:22,047 and if I wanna use my money on a roast 114 00:04:22,089 --> 00:04:24,800 of Allah à la Alan King, then I will. 115 00:04:24,842 --> 00:04:25,884 What the fuck is that? 116 00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,761 I think it's like a Friars Club roast 117 00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:28,929 of the Muslim god Allah. 118 00:04:28,971 --> 00:04:32,099 I can't believe she expects me to do all this by Saturday. 119 00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,852 Cork, Corks, Corksie. 120 00:04:34,893 --> 00:04:36,603 Corkie! 121 00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:39,898 upbeat percussive music 122 00:04:44,445 --> 00:04:46,196 How you doing, Mo? 123 00:04:46,238 --> 00:04:48,240 What's that supposed to me-- mean? 124 00:04:48,282 --> 00:04:50,492 [coughing] You see what you-- 125 00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:52,328 [coughing] Made me do, Dawn? Fuck. 126 00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:54,455 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 127 00:04:54,496 --> 00:04:56,540 I didn't wake up on any side of any bed, okay? 128 00:04:56,582 --> 00:04:59,293 I'll have you know I was up having sex all night, so. 129 00:04:59,335 --> 00:05:01,003 Mm, well, cool. 130 00:05:01,045 --> 00:05:03,922 So again, how are you doing, Mo? 131 00:05:03,964 --> 00:05:05,591 Never better. [laughs] 132 00:05:05,632 --> 00:05:08,594 Woman I love, check. Job I love, check. 133 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:11,055 Form of payment I receive for royalties 134 00:05:11,096 --> 00:05:12,348 for the woman I love song I love 135 00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,391 at the job I love, check. 136 00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:16,101 Whoever said a man can't have it all? 137 00:05:16,143 --> 00:05:19,355 Uh, literally no one ever. 138 00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:20,564 It just seems to me like you're having 139 00:05:20,606 --> 00:05:23,108 a little trouble keeping up with Nomi. 140 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:25,194 What? Why would you say that? 141 00:05:25,235 --> 00:05:26,612 'Cause your dye's running faster 142 00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:29,490 than Flo-Jo, Bootsy Collins. 143 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,283 Oh, shit. 144 00:05:31,325 --> 00:05:33,410 [Mo] Okay, one joke, two icons. Pretty good there. 145 00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:34,370 Thank you. 146 00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:35,954 Don't you worry about that, okay? 147 00:05:35,996 --> 00:05:36,955 And don't worry about this. 148 00:05:36,997 --> 00:05:38,374 It's just a little nagging injury 149 00:05:38,415 --> 00:05:40,334 that I got when I Bruce Leroyed the Leighman Brothers' door. 150 00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:41,710 Look, I know everybody out there thinks that I robbed 151 00:05:41,752 --> 00:05:44,380 the cradle, but you are only as old as you feel. 152 00:05:44,421 --> 00:05:45,547 And I feel absolutely-- 153 00:05:45,589 --> 00:05:47,424 Hey, boss. I got all that stuff you asked for. 154 00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:49,802 Coke to stay up, vikes to stay upright, 155 00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:52,679 dick pills to stay hard, and Ex-Lax to stay soft. 156 00:05:52,721 --> 00:05:55,849 Dawn, did you know our man is constipated? 157 00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:58,435 -Yes! I can see it in his eyes. -Jaundice. 158 00:05:58,477 --> 00:06:00,270 Why don't you get the fuck out, Yasshole. 159 00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:03,107 Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 160 00:06:03,148 --> 00:06:04,358 I was having sex all night! 161 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,236 Look, Mo, there's no shame in admitting that you and Nomi 162 00:06:07,277 --> 00:06:09,405 are in different stages of life 163 00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:11,115 and digestive regularity. 164 00:06:11,156 --> 00:06:13,325 We're in the exact same stage, okay? 165 00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:14,827 That's the honeymoon stage. 166 00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:17,079 -Don't worry, I'm doing great. -Okay, fine. 167 00:06:17,121 --> 00:06:19,248 Dawn. [laughs] 168 00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:21,333 Just the person I wanted to see. 169 00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:22,793 We're having an engagement dinner... 170 00:06:22,835 --> 00:06:24,878 -Mm-hmm. -Saturday at 11:00. You in? 171 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,924 Oh, for sure, but isn't 11:00 more like an engagement brunch? 172 00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,217 [laughs] 173 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,262 11:00 p.m., Mee-maw. This one. 174 00:06:33,303 --> 00:06:34,847 I know you're used to the early bird special 175 00:06:34,888 --> 00:06:37,433 -'cause you're old as shit. -That'll do. 176 00:06:37,474 --> 00:06:40,561 Okay. Okay. Well, love you. 177 00:06:40,602 --> 00:06:42,604 [Mo] Love you. 178 00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,357 Ah! Fuck! 179 00:06:45,399 --> 00:06:46,567 God damn it! 180 00:06:49,027 --> 00:06:50,988 Brushing your chompers, huh? 181 00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:52,322 Uh-huh. 182 00:06:52,364 --> 00:06:54,366 [gruff voice] The old pearly whites. 183 00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:57,453 -[chuckles] -Nice. 184 00:06:57,494 --> 00:06:59,371 How's the funeral planning going? 185 00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:02,666 Ugh. Corkie is a real diedzilla. 186 00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:03,959 Oh! 187 00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,128 [laughs] 188 00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:07,671 Tiff. 189 00:07:07,713 --> 00:07:10,174 Oh, I'm having a bear of a week myself, 190 00:07:10,215 --> 00:07:12,718 and it's not even hump day. [groans] 191 00:07:12,759 --> 00:07:15,721 But I guess they call me the "it boy" not the "sit boy." 192 00:07:15,762 --> 00:07:17,306 Just got back-to-backs all morning. 193 00:07:17,347 --> 00:07:18,515 And tomorrow, I have to give 194 00:07:18,557 --> 00:07:21,143 the Medal of Freedom to a police dog. 195 00:07:21,185 --> 00:07:22,853 And then Saturday, I have 196 00:07:22,895 --> 00:07:24,813 Pastor Swafford's funeral, and-- 197 00:07:24,855 --> 00:07:27,107 Was that a spit take or just run-of-the-mill tooth brushing? 198 00:07:27,149 --> 00:07:29,693 -That's insane. -The police dog? I know. 199 00:07:29,735 --> 00:07:30,777 But he was the only cop 200 00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:32,196 we could be sure wasn't a white supremacist. 201 00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:35,616 No, Corkie will freak out at me if you show up at that funeral. 202 00:07:35,657 --> 00:07:37,868 She's already pissed that I let Keith take over the company, 203 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,412 and he's pissed that we're paying for this thing. 204 00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:41,747 Why would Corkie be mad at me? 205 00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:44,166 I shot her dad's TV, not her dad. 206 00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,417 You fucked her husband to death. 207 00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:47,628 -Okay. -It's bad. 208 00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:49,838 But that's exactly why I have to be there. 209 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,382 His death has stirred up all of my old scandals, 210 00:07:52,424 --> 00:07:54,301 and the RNC feels like the best way 211 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,719 to reassure my religious base 212 00:07:55,761 --> 00:07:58,430 is to give a very moving eulogy. 213 00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,766 There's no confusion on that one. 214 00:08:00,807 --> 00:08:03,185 [Tiff] They want you to give the eulogy? 215 00:08:03,227 --> 00:08:04,478 I mean, that is even more insane 216 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,146 than how many cops are white supremacists. 217 00:08:06,188 --> 00:08:08,607 Not really, when you consider the American policing system 218 00:08:08,649 --> 00:08:10,943 was initially designed to protect white property owners. 219 00:08:10,984 --> 00:08:13,028 Okay, Blair. [groans] 220 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:15,030 Do you think I want to do this? 221 00:08:15,072 --> 00:08:18,659 The last time I took the stage, I took a bullet. 222 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,702 And that was before two people very close to me 223 00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:23,997 were killed under mysterious circumstances. 224 00:08:24,039 --> 00:08:28,043 I'm afraid if I don't do this, I might be next. 225 00:08:28,085 --> 00:08:29,878 The RNC is very scary. 226 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,256 Well, then maybe it's for the best. 227 00:08:32,297 --> 00:08:35,217 Maybe it's time to just walk away. 228 00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:40,222 -Please let me do a tight five. -No! 229 00:08:40,264 --> 00:08:42,224 I'll open, I'll close. I'll host. 230 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,643 I won't middle because you've gotta draw the line somewhere. 231 00:08:44,685 --> 00:08:47,229 I'm sorry, I have three days to plan a dream funeral. 232 00:08:47,271 --> 00:08:48,814 So unless you know what color coffin skirt 233 00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:50,274 goes with a gold casket then-- 234 00:08:50,315 --> 00:08:53,068 -American flag. -Thank you. Thank you. 235 00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,403 upbeat music 236 00:08:54,444 --> 00:08:57,573 Well, if it isn't the six million doll hair man. 237 00:08:57,614 --> 00:09:00,325 My plugs looks great and you know it, Congressman Fuck Face. 238 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,035 You look like a Chia Pet cemetery. 239 00:09:02,077 --> 00:09:04,371 Yeah, well, you-- you look like a fuck face. 240 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,664 Do you just come up with these on the spot? 241 00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:06,665 And what's going on? I thought we had 242 00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:07,499 a nice moment the other night. 243 00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:08,959 Oh, yeah, I can't keep track 244 00:09:09,001 --> 00:09:11,503 of all of these shifting dynamics. 245 00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:14,047 Um, how is all of that going for you? 246 00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:16,717 Been going to Housecat a lot, you know, try to reconnect 247 00:09:16,758 --> 00:09:17,759 -with Mike and-- -[clucking] 248 00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:19,469 Okay, I need you to convince Corkie 249 00:09:19,511 --> 00:09:21,179 to let me give her dad's eulogy. 250 00:09:21,221 --> 00:09:23,432 What? How? Why? 251 00:09:23,473 --> 00:09:25,017 Because I'll give back the million dollars 252 00:09:25,058 --> 00:09:27,936 of company money Tiff donated to my campaign. 253 00:09:29,479 --> 00:09:31,481 Wow, am I really in the business 254 00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:32,733 of selling eulogies now? 255 00:09:32,774 --> 00:09:33,900 You've carved out quite a nice little corner 256 00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:35,235 of the world for yourself, there, Keith. 257 00:09:35,277 --> 00:09:38,238 Well, if the Catholic church can sell tickets to heaven, 258 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,781 you got a deal. 259 00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:42,993 -Ho! -I was gonna do that. 260 00:09:43,035 --> 00:09:44,661 I was gonna do that. 261 00:09:44,703 --> 00:09:48,123 -[Dawn] Mo! -I'm back here. 262 00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:49,291 Room on the right. 263 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:50,751 [Dawn] Whose fucking house is this? 264 00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:52,919 And what the fuck is up with that cast? 265 00:09:52,961 --> 00:09:55,672 Do you ever just be doing normal shit like reading? 266 00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:58,508 Ugh, apparently, I "aggravated my injury" 267 00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:00,802 because of my "reckless behavior," 268 00:10:00,844 --> 00:10:02,971 and now I have a condition called "shin crumble" 269 00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:06,516 which is threatening my ability to have two legs "long-term" 270 00:10:06,558 --> 00:10:08,393 because I treated my walking cast 271 00:10:08,435 --> 00:10:10,395 "like a joke" and my doctor's instructions 272 00:10:10,437 --> 00:10:11,855 as if they were "in air quotes," so. 273 00:10:11,897 --> 00:10:13,774 Well, you know what? At least now, you have to rest 274 00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:15,567 'cause there's no hiding this shit from Nomi. 275 00:10:15,609 --> 00:10:17,277 Oh, really? 276 00:10:17,319 --> 00:10:19,029 [clears throat] 277 00:10:20,364 --> 00:10:21,448 Twinsies. 278 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,741 -[sighs] -[groans] 279 00:10:22,783 --> 00:10:24,201 Fine, look, maybe you were right. 280 00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:26,745 Maybe Nomi and I are in different stages of our life. 281 00:10:26,787 --> 00:10:27,788 Wait, is that what this is? 282 00:10:27,829 --> 00:10:29,998 Did you buy this house for her? 283 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,458 Oh, my God, Mo, you've known her 284 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,418 for, like, nine days. 285 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:34,920 Well, when you know, you know. You know? 286 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:37,047 Yeah, but does she know about this house? 287 00:10:37,089 --> 00:10:38,882 Eh--I-- 288 00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:40,676 -I wanted to surprise her. -[scoffs] 289 00:10:40,717 --> 00:10:42,052 But then I started worrying that, you know, 290 00:10:42,094 --> 00:10:44,262 maybe this isn't what she wants right now. 291 00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:46,098 I don't know. 292 00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:47,015 It is dope. 293 00:10:47,057 --> 00:10:49,351 -[Mo] It could be, right? -Yeah. Oh, my God. 294 00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:51,937 Once you fix it up. 295 00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:54,856 It's crazy, this is the exact street 296 00:10:54,898 --> 00:10:56,817 that I told you I always wanted to live on. 297 00:10:56,858 --> 00:11:00,362 -Yeah, I don't remember that. -Is that a painting of me? 298 00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:03,198 Mm-mm. No. 299 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,867 It literally says "Dawn" on it. 300 00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,412 -Yeah? -Give me a second, 301 00:11:08,453 --> 00:11:10,038 the pain meds are... 302 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,209 uh, yeah, that's Telma Hopkins from the band Dawn, obviously. 303 00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:16,628 Mo, I cannot believe 304 00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,380 how much she looks like me. 305 00:11:18,422 --> 00:11:21,508 Yeah, it's unbelievable. Hey, me, me. 306 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,176 [Dawn] Oh, yes, I'm sorry. 307 00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:24,219 Okay, look, um, 308 00:11:24,261 --> 00:11:27,431 you just have to be up-front with her before the wedding. 309 00:11:27,472 --> 00:11:29,266 You know, you'll reach a compromise. 310 00:11:29,307 --> 00:11:30,684 Or... 311 00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:33,395 at the very least, you'll realize it wasn't meant to be. 312 00:11:33,437 --> 00:11:34,646 Either way, I don't know, 313 00:11:34,688 --> 00:11:36,398 it's better to know the day before 314 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,899 than the day after. 315 00:11:37,941 --> 00:11:40,026 Trust me, you know, I... [sighs] 316 00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:42,612 I wish I'd have known way sooner that-- 317 00:11:42,654 --> 00:11:44,322 Spencer was in a different world. 318 00:11:44,364 --> 00:11:45,615 You know, he does look a lot 319 00:11:45,657 --> 00:11:47,409 like an older version of Dwayne Wayne. 320 00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:48,618 Hmm? 321 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,037 No, I meant a different world than where I come from. 322 00:11:51,079 --> 00:11:54,249 Oh, one in which you weren't constantly cheating on him. 323 00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:55,459 Yeah, with you. 324 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,210 -Well, still. -[scoffs] 325 00:11:57,252 --> 00:11:58,837 Well, are you gonna talk to her or not? 326 00:11:58,879 --> 00:12:00,630 -Yes. Thank you. -You're welcome. 327 00:12:00,672 --> 00:12:02,799 Hey, can you make me a sandwich? 328 00:12:02,841 --> 00:12:04,509 Fine. What do you want? 329 00:12:04,551 --> 00:12:05,886 You to go to the grocery store 330 00:12:05,927 --> 00:12:08,180 and get everything to make me a sandwich. 331 00:12:08,221 --> 00:12:11,141 Now do you see why building a rig to fly the casket 332 00:12:11,183 --> 00:12:14,186 over the church is time- and cost-prohibitive? 333 00:12:14,227 --> 00:12:16,188 I have to say, Tiff, I don't see it. 334 00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:17,022 Okay. Really? 335 00:12:17,063 --> 00:12:18,398 A heavy casket with your father in it? 336 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,858 Just some sort of a pulley system, or... 337 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,109 [Keith] What would you say 338 00:12:21,151 --> 00:12:23,195 if I could give the pastor everything he wanted 339 00:12:23,236 --> 00:12:25,071 and save your church in the process? 340 00:12:25,113 --> 00:12:27,824 Oh, well, I'd say, what do I have to do? 341 00:12:27,866 --> 00:12:28,992 Just let little old Keithy 342 00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:30,827 take care of the funeral arrangements. 343 00:12:30,869 --> 00:12:32,662 You had me at "let little old Keithy 344 00:12:32,704 --> 00:12:34,289 take care of the funeral arrangements." 345 00:12:34,331 --> 00:12:36,958 That was literally the last thing that I said. 346 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,127 Bye. Bye, Corkie. It's been real. 347 00:12:39,169 --> 00:12:39,795 Oh, free! 348 00:12:39,836 --> 00:12:41,046 She's really running. 349 00:12:41,087 --> 00:12:42,881 She kinda does that in stressful situations. 350 00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:44,800 Okay. Let's take a look here, 351 00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:47,177 uh, at your binder. 352 00:12:47,219 --> 00:12:50,180 All right, so food, obviously, a big thing. 353 00:12:50,222 --> 00:12:52,432 -Do we wanna do food? -Absolutely. 354 00:12:52,474 --> 00:12:53,934 I think Daddy said he'd like 355 00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:57,521 to start off with filet mignon for apps. 356 00:12:57,562 --> 00:12:58,814 -For apps? -Yes. 357 00:12:58,855 --> 00:13:01,024 We have, uh, what, 35,000 people in attendance? 358 00:13:01,066 --> 00:13:04,736 That's a rough estimate. Anywhere between 35 and 40. 359 00:13:04,778 --> 00:13:06,571 -Thousand. -Thousand. 360 00:13:06,613 --> 00:13:09,533 Okay, uh... 361 00:13:09,574 --> 00:13:10,826 You ever have a Steak-umm? 362 00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:13,954 upbeat music 363 00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:16,498 Ah. 364 00:13:20,502 --> 00:13:22,504 Nine o'clock? 365 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:26,341 Ahh! 366 00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:27,968 [knock at door] 367 00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:30,762 [knocking continues] 368 00:13:30,804 --> 00:13:33,014 What time is it? 369 00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:37,519 [Dawn] Uh, what the fuck? 370 00:13:37,561 --> 00:13:39,688 Ma'am. 371 00:13:39,729 --> 00:13:42,023 You didn't tell Nomi the truth, did you? 372 00:13:42,065 --> 00:13:43,233 No, I didn't tell her. 373 00:13:43,275 --> 00:13:45,652 I was going to, but instead, I sawed off my cast, 374 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,822 and now I have something called, uh, powder foot. 375 00:13:48,864 --> 00:13:50,949 What the fuck is wrong with you, Mo? 376 00:13:50,991 --> 00:13:52,742 -Huh? -I love her, okay? 377 00:13:52,784 --> 00:13:54,077 I don't wanna lose her. 378 00:13:54,119 --> 00:13:56,705 I know my old ass has no business being with her. 379 00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:59,624 Come on, you said you wanted to be friends, so prove it. 380 00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:01,710 I cannot show up at my own engagement party 381 00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:03,211 in a fucking wheelchair. 382 00:14:03,253 --> 00:14:04,754 [scoffs] 383 00:14:04,796 --> 00:14:07,674 Well, how the fuck are we supposed to hide that thing? 384 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,426 Whee! [laughs] 385 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:10,802 Hey, hey, hey. 386 00:14:10,844 --> 00:14:12,262 Oh, my God. Dawn, what happened? 387 00:14:12,304 --> 00:14:15,515 Ah, Father Time finally caught up with the old girl. 388 00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:17,058 -Both hips, blammo. -What? 389 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,978 She's basically being held together by pants. 390 00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,147 Dawn, but I saw you this morning. 391 00:14:22,188 --> 00:14:24,774 It's insane, right? Yeah, emergency surgery. 392 00:14:24,816 --> 00:14:26,860 Thank God, caught it just in time. 393 00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:28,486 -Wow. -Fuck, should you be at dinner 394 00:14:28,528 --> 00:14:30,864 if you just had emergency surgery? 395 00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:31,865 You definitely shouldn't be here. 396 00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:32,824 [Mo] She's fine. 397 00:14:32,866 --> 00:14:33,992 Okay, we're gonna go over here now, Dawny. 398 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:35,410 -I can hear. -Right. 399 00:14:35,452 --> 00:14:36,494 You're just old, you're not deaf. 400 00:14:36,536 --> 00:14:38,204 Excuse me, guys. Beep, beep. 401 00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:39,664 [Keith] Hey, fuck face. 402 00:14:39,706 --> 00:14:41,499 I already planned one funeral for today. 403 00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:42,876 Don't make me plan another. 404 00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:45,337 I ordered these Bibles à la King James, 405 00:14:45,378 --> 00:14:48,214 not these generic shits that you sent. 406 00:14:48,256 --> 00:14:50,842 [Corkie] Keith, what did you do? 407 00:14:50,884 --> 00:14:53,970 Exactly what the reverend would have wanted. 408 00:14:54,012 --> 00:14:57,349 Why pay for a funeral when we can have 409 00:14:57,390 --> 00:15:01,019 the congregation pay for a resurrection? 410 00:15:01,061 --> 00:15:03,271 You sold my daddy's funeral? 411 00:15:03,313 --> 00:15:04,606 Everything that's not nailed down. 412 00:15:04,648 --> 00:15:06,650 That's why we still have Jesus' hands and feet. 413 00:15:06,691 --> 00:15:10,278 Keith, my father would... 414 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:10,946 love this. 415 00:15:10,987 --> 00:15:13,031 [laughs] Right? 416 00:15:13,073 --> 00:15:15,367 But he might not love this. 417 00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:18,078 What in the Hellmann's mayonnaise is he doing here? 418 00:15:18,119 --> 00:15:19,287 Okay, he gave us a million bucks, 419 00:15:19,329 --> 00:15:22,457 and all we had to give him was the, uh, eulogy. 420 00:15:22,499 --> 00:15:25,043 Corkie, thank you so much 421 00:15:25,085 --> 00:15:28,338 for giving me this honor to honor your father. 422 00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:31,299 There's not a snowball's chance in Detroit 423 00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:33,760 that that murderer is giving my dad's eulogy. 424 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,887 Do snowballs fare pretty well in Detroit? 425 00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:37,305 I think she meant hell. 426 00:15:37,347 --> 00:15:38,223 That feels racist. 427 00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:42,102 Corkie, I didn't kill your father. 428 00:15:42,143 --> 00:15:44,062 [whispering] I meant Roger. 429 00:15:44,104 --> 00:15:45,855 [whispering] She's kinda got you there. 430 00:15:45,897 --> 00:15:47,732 You killed Roger. 431 00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:48,900 No, I didn't. 432 00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:50,485 Keith, I thought you said you worked it out. 433 00:15:50,527 --> 00:15:53,405 I said I would work it out, and I still could. 434 00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:55,573 Blair, you've caused me so much pain. 435 00:15:55,615 --> 00:15:59,077 I mean, couldn't you at least spare me today of all days? 436 00:15:59,119 --> 00:16:01,287 -[Corkie] Funeral's off! -[person] Okay. 437 00:16:01,329 --> 00:16:03,498 [Corkie] No one's getting buried today! 438 00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,084 Well, that's sort of the blessing and the curse 439 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:07,877 of being born with double-jointed hips. 440 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:08,878 Mm. 441 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,672 It made me quite the advanced lover... 442 00:16:10,714 --> 00:16:11,673 [laughs] 443 00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:14,009 But eventually caught up to me. 444 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,260 No worries, though. 445 00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:20,098 Doc said I'd be down to pound in six to eight weeks max. 446 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:22,017 [Yassir X] It don't make sense, though. 447 00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:25,353 Is your doctor a porn star? They said down to pound? 448 00:16:25,395 --> 00:16:28,481 Or it makes perfect sense because that's literally 449 00:16:28,523 --> 00:16:31,276 what happens to everybody when they get old. 450 00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:33,737 Oh, please, enough about me. 451 00:16:33,778 --> 00:16:35,447 Nomi, girl, did I hear 452 00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:37,240 they are playing your song at the club now? 453 00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:39,034 [Mo] Yes, they're playing her song at the club. 454 00:16:39,075 --> 00:16:40,869 I know. [laughs] 455 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:42,495 I still can't believe it. 456 00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:43,455 Oh, you know what? 457 00:16:43,496 --> 00:16:45,999 It feels to me like you are about to-- 458 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:47,792 what's the opposite of settle down? 459 00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,794 -Take off? -Yes, that's it. 460 00:16:49,836 --> 00:16:50,920 I hope so. 461 00:16:50,962 --> 00:16:52,464 In my head, I've already got the tour scheduled. 462 00:16:52,505 --> 00:16:55,133 I wanna hit the road, see the world. 463 00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:57,635 -Oh, the world is huge. -[Mo] Hey, how about a toast? 464 00:16:57,677 --> 00:16:59,512 -[Dawn] Yes. -Yes. 465 00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:00,430 [clears throat] 466 00:17:00,472 --> 00:17:02,766 To the two most important girls in my life. 467 00:17:02,807 --> 00:17:04,017 Mm. 468 00:17:04,059 --> 00:17:07,145 My old, old, old, old, old, old, 469 00:17:07,187 --> 00:17:09,814 dusty, dusty, rocking chair old friend, Dawn. 470 00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:10,940 -[Dawn] Okay. -[Mo laughs] 471 00:17:10,982 --> 00:17:12,692 Who risked her health to be here 472 00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:13,902 fresh out of a hospital bed. 473 00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:16,279 Ah, you know what? This is an important toast. 474 00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:18,364 Please, stand up so everyone can hear you. 475 00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:20,075 Pretty sure everybody can hear me, Dawn. 476 00:17:20,116 --> 00:17:21,993 [Yassir X] What? 477 00:17:22,035 --> 00:17:24,162 -[Mo] Really? -See? 478 00:17:24,204 --> 00:17:25,705 -Well, I'll stand up. -[Dawn] Okay. 479 00:17:25,747 --> 00:17:27,957 It's no big deal to stand up. 480 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:29,918 Who's worried about standing up? 481 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:31,711 So I'm standing up. And there it is. 482 00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:34,047 I did it. I stood up. [laughs] 483 00:17:34,089 --> 00:17:35,799 Maybe you should come and stand 484 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,218 between your two favorite girls, right? 485 00:17:38,259 --> 00:17:39,677 -[Nomi] Aw. -[Yassir X] That's a good spot. 486 00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:41,971 Okay, right there. Here I come. 487 00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:44,182 -I will put this here. -[Dawn] Yes. 488 00:17:44,224 --> 00:17:45,850 And I'll come right over there. 489 00:17:45,892 --> 00:17:47,185 -[Dawn] Sure. -[Nomi] Yeah, come on. 490 00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:48,978 I'm gonna--I'm gonna come with some style. 491 00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,522 [laughter] 492 00:17:50,563 --> 00:17:51,606 A little flair. 493 00:17:51,648 --> 00:17:53,775 Ooh, whoa. All right. 494 00:17:53,817 --> 00:17:56,528 Ooh. La-da! [laughs] 495 00:17:56,569 --> 00:17:59,864 And just one more space, and then I'm here. 496 00:17:59,906 --> 00:18:01,449 Easy. Okay. 497 00:18:01,491 --> 00:18:03,743 [clears throat] Where was I? 498 00:18:03,785 --> 00:18:06,621 Nomi, to you, 499 00:18:06,663 --> 00:18:08,790 the love of my life. 500 00:18:08,832 --> 00:18:13,253 You know, as an orphan, I never really knew what home meant. 501 00:18:13,294 --> 00:18:15,755 Then I met you. 502 00:18:15,797 --> 00:18:16,589 That's a thing? 503 00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:19,259 And yeah, the road? Sure, it's fun, 504 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,469 but home is where the heart is, 505 00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:23,596 and that's why the greatest tour 506 00:18:23,638 --> 00:18:25,849 is the tour of the heart... 507 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:27,225 Mm. 508 00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:29,936 At home where your heart is. 509 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,604 -Okay. -Uh... 510 00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:32,438 Love you, babe. 511 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,150 -Mm, love you too, Mo. -Yeah, to Nomi. 512 00:18:35,191 --> 00:18:37,777 -Now, let's-- -Eat. Oh, my God. 513 00:18:37,819 --> 00:18:39,112 We're so in the same stage of life, 514 00:18:39,154 --> 00:18:40,905 we're finishing each other's sentences. 515 00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,615 -Uh-huh. I was gonna say dance. -[Mo] Oh! 516 00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:46,327 Great idea. You all better get out there. 517 00:18:46,369 --> 00:18:47,453 That's what you do. 518 00:18:47,495 --> 00:18:49,122 [Nomi] Come on, boo. Hmm? 519 00:18:49,164 --> 00:18:50,748 Choo. Coo-coo-coo-coo. 520 00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:51,708 Aren't you coming? 521 00:18:51,749 --> 00:18:53,376 We're dancing-- well, I would, but you know, 522 00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,128 Dawn and her bitch-ass hips. I don't wanna leave her. 523 00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,963 No, no, no, no, no, I'm good. Actually, go, go, go dance 524 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,215 Yeah, that's what somebody says when they're not good 525 00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:01,092 and they want you to stay, stay, stay. 526 00:19:01,134 --> 00:19:02,427 I mean, come on, look at her. 527 00:19:02,468 --> 00:19:04,679 She's single at an engagement party in a wheelchair. 528 00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:06,389 Well, why don't we just take her with us then? 529 00:19:06,431 --> 00:19:08,850 Okay, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 530 00:19:08,892 --> 00:19:10,185 I mean, she's just really heavy, 531 00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:12,061 and I don't want you to pull a muscle doing anything. 532 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:14,147 Okay. Yeah, so we'll be out here. 533 00:19:14,189 --> 00:19:15,398 And I will be there. 534 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,650 I swear to God, I am gonna backflip out of this chair 535 00:19:17,692 --> 00:19:19,944 and go fuck Johnny Gill right there on the dance floor. 536 00:19:19,986 --> 00:19:22,363 -Who cares? -People who say that. 537 00:19:23,156 --> 00:19:25,783 [Blair] Can I have a moment? Please? 538 00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,202 [Corkie] Haven't you done enough? 539 00:19:27,243 --> 00:19:31,039 I'm leaving. I just wanted to apologize. 540 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,373 For real. 541 00:19:32,415 --> 00:19:37,003 I know you hate me, and I know you blame me for everything. 542 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:40,131 But I loved Roger. 543 00:19:40,173 --> 00:19:44,427 I know that's hard to hear, but it's true. 544 00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:47,931 And I never would have put him in danger like that. 545 00:19:47,972 --> 00:19:49,057 I didn't release our tape. 546 00:19:49,098 --> 00:19:53,102 I just wanted... you to know that-- 547 00:19:53,144 --> 00:19:54,729 I know. 548 00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:56,606 solemn music 549 00:19:56,648 --> 00:19:58,358 He did. 550 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,944 Come on, Blair. 551 00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:02,111 I mean, if anybody knew how evil 552 00:20:02,153 --> 00:20:04,239 my father was, it's me. 553 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,783 And I know you didn't kill Roger. 554 00:20:06,824 --> 00:20:08,660 I just lost everything, 555 00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:11,037 and I thought I needed a scapegoat. 556 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:13,706 But it turns out keeping an emotional support goat 557 00:20:13,748 --> 00:20:16,668 on my fire escape was really not a good idea. 558 00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:19,045 It sounds messy. 559 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:22,006 Then I decided to blame you. 560 00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:23,466 'Cause facing the real person 561 00:20:23,508 --> 00:20:27,345 was too painful to accept. 562 00:20:27,387 --> 00:20:30,515 For what it's worth, my dad sucked too. 563 00:20:30,556 --> 00:20:31,933 He did? 564 00:20:31,975 --> 00:20:33,434 Yeah. 565 00:20:35,311 --> 00:20:37,105 I'm sorry for coming. 566 00:20:37,146 --> 00:20:42,110 And I'm sorry for your loss...es. 567 00:20:42,151 --> 00:20:43,444 Wait. 568 00:20:44,904 --> 00:20:47,991 I want you to give the eulogy. 569 00:20:48,032 --> 00:20:49,158 Really? 570 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,329 If...you tell the truth about my dad. 571 00:20:53,371 --> 00:20:56,916 The world needs to know that he was a monster. 572 00:21:03,256 --> 00:21:04,799 Thank you. 573 00:21:07,218 --> 00:21:09,220 -She buy it? -Yeah. 574 00:21:09,262 --> 00:21:11,180 I make it rain at the party 575 00:21:11,222 --> 00:21:13,641 OG, everybody here know me 576 00:21:13,683 --> 00:21:15,518 Everybody here know me 577 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,438 I'm the OG, everybody here know me 578 00:21:18,479 --> 00:21:20,523 I make it rain at the party 579 00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:23,651 OG, everybody here know me 580 00:21:23,693 --> 00:21:26,654 Everybody here know me 581 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,406 soft piano music 582 00:21:28,448 --> 00:21:29,324 -[sighs] -Oh. 583 00:21:29,365 --> 00:21:30,575 -Huh? -Come on. 584 00:21:30,616 --> 00:21:33,619 Heh, oh, okay, well, I mean, probably the appetizers 585 00:21:33,661 --> 00:21:34,871 are probably getting a little cold, right? 586 00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:35,913 Let's take it to the table. 587 00:21:35,955 --> 00:21:37,415 Come on, I love this song. 588 00:21:37,457 --> 00:21:39,208 Maybe Dawn could just sit this one out. 589 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:41,294 -Oh, yes, gladly. -[Mo] Oh, oh, no, no, no. 590 00:21:41,336 --> 00:21:42,503 Ah! [laughs] 591 00:21:42,545 --> 00:21:44,714 She told me that she's gotta go to the bathroom, so yeah. 592 00:21:44,756 --> 00:21:46,382 Ah, sounds like a job for Yassir. 593 00:21:46,424 --> 00:21:48,134 Yassir, back the fuck up. I got it. 594 00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:49,761 Okay. Mo, what the fuck? 595 00:21:49,802 --> 00:21:52,847 You've been acting weird as hell all night. 596 00:21:53,556 --> 00:21:56,225 Okay, shit, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. 597 00:21:56,267 --> 00:21:58,353 -Oh, thank God. Finally. -Great. Thank you. 598 00:21:58,394 --> 00:21:59,437 When Dawn spins around like this, 599 00:21:59,479 --> 00:22:01,272 she really has to piss, and when she goes 600 00:22:01,314 --> 00:22:02,357 she starts pissing everywhere, 601 00:22:02,398 --> 00:22:03,524 and I don't want it to get all over us. 602 00:22:03,566 --> 00:22:04,942 -It's not your fault. -[Nomi] All right, okay. 603 00:22:04,984 --> 00:22:06,277 No, no, no, no. 604 00:22:06,319 --> 00:22:07,612 All right, you know what? I'm out. 605 00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:10,156 You guys can just piss all over each other all night 606 00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:11,240 for all I care. 607 00:22:11,282 --> 00:22:12,909 Happy engagement party. 608 00:22:12,950 --> 00:22:13,993 Okay, Nomi, come on, Nomi. 609 00:22:14,035 --> 00:22:15,578 -P-p-p-pissing's not my thing! -Nomi. 610 00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:17,997 I promise I'm not into that. 611 00:22:18,664 --> 00:22:21,084 Hey, I-I know this is terrible timing, 612 00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:23,169 but could you wheel me to the bathroom? 613 00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:24,462 'Cause I actually do have to piss. 614 00:22:24,504 --> 00:22:27,131 And we're back from commercial in five. 615 00:22:27,173 --> 00:22:29,425 Grab those tissues, we're crying. 616 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:31,427 Four. We're grabbing our wallets. 617 00:22:31,469 --> 00:22:33,596 Three. Remember to give us those donations. 618 00:22:33,638 --> 00:22:36,933 Two. And cue the medium wash on stage. 619 00:22:36,974 --> 00:22:38,684 I love it, Ron, looking good. 620 00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:39,727 We're about to bring out the body. 621 00:22:39,769 --> 00:22:41,771 Good luck, everybody. Here we go. 622 00:22:41,813 --> 00:22:45,400 I don't know how you did it, but, uh, thank you. 623 00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:47,276 I mean, I thought this thing was gonna go to hell. 624 00:22:47,318 --> 00:22:49,153 Well, now only Pastor Swafford is. 625 00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:51,280 Okay, cue the models. Cue the models. 626 00:22:51,322 --> 00:22:53,032 Check this shit out. 627 00:22:53,074 --> 00:22:55,535 Let's look sexy, sexy, sexy. 628 00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:57,286 And let's show off that denim. 629 00:22:57,328 --> 00:23:00,665 I'm sorry, are the pallbearers modeling Pfaffashions? 630 00:23:00,706 --> 00:23:03,501 Yeah, it's genius, right? Free advertising. 631 00:23:03,543 --> 00:23:05,169 This thing's gonna get a 22 share. 632 00:23:05,211 --> 00:23:07,130 Watch, our sales are gonna skyrocket. 633 00:23:07,171 --> 00:23:09,298 And show me that tushy. All right. 634 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:10,967 [Blair] You really are a piece of shit, Shankar. 635 00:23:11,008 --> 00:23:14,137 Well, this POS is about to SOS your wife's IPO. 636 00:23:14,178 --> 00:23:15,304 So it's time for you to go. 637 00:23:15,346 --> 00:23:17,682 Remember, plug the donations. We're close to our goal. 638 00:23:17,723 --> 00:23:19,308 And if you can slip in Pfaffashions, 639 00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:20,309 that would be great, okay? 640 00:23:20,351 --> 00:23:22,311 Into the Lord's Prayer? 641 00:23:22,353 --> 00:23:25,022 You can do it. Break a leg. Go, go. 642 00:23:25,064 --> 00:23:26,357 All right. 643 00:23:26,399 --> 00:23:28,901 Great, give me voice of God in three, two. 644 00:23:28,943 --> 00:23:32,280 And now, to delivery the pastor's eulogy, 645 00:23:32,321 --> 00:23:34,157 he's your congressman, 646 00:23:34,198 --> 00:23:36,284 Blair... 647 00:23:36,325 --> 00:23:38,119 Pfaff! 648 00:23:38,161 --> 00:23:41,956 [cheers and applause] 649 00:23:47,545 --> 00:23:50,965 [high-pitched ringing] 650 00:23:55,761 --> 00:23:58,181 Pick up your cues. Pick up your cues. 651 00:23:58,222 --> 00:24:00,975 Blair Pfaff. 652 00:24:01,017 --> 00:24:04,145 [cheers and applause] 653 00:24:09,734 --> 00:24:11,027 Ladies and gentlemen... 654 00:24:11,068 --> 00:24:12,069 Camera one. 655 00:24:12,111 --> 00:24:15,031 We gather here to bury a man. 656 00:24:16,115 --> 00:24:19,327 Some would say a great man, 657 00:24:19,368 --> 00:24:21,329 but the truth is... 658 00:24:24,207 --> 00:24:26,042 ...the truth is... 659 00:24:27,502 --> 00:24:30,171 ...the truth is... 660 00:24:30,213 --> 00:24:32,924 Pastor Swafford was... 661 00:24:32,965 --> 00:24:35,176 so much more than that. 662 00:24:37,929 --> 00:24:42,558 He was a direct messenger of the Lord. 663 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,685 [cheers and applause] 664 00:24:44,727 --> 00:24:48,105 I feel Pastor Swafford rising up 665 00:24:48,147 --> 00:24:52,276 just like our family values revolution is rising up 666 00:24:52,318 --> 00:24:54,570 against the Communist, Marxist, 667 00:24:54,612 --> 00:24:58,032 socialist, radical left. 668 00:24:58,491 --> 00:25:00,535 [Mo] Go ahead. Say, "I told you so." 669 00:25:00,576 --> 00:25:01,786 [Dawn] No. No. 670 00:25:01,827 --> 00:25:04,455 Look, she just needs to cool down tonight. 671 00:25:04,497 --> 00:25:05,581 Tomorrow, you'll come clean, 672 00:25:05,623 --> 00:25:09,210 and I'm sure she will understand. 673 00:25:09,252 --> 00:25:11,504 I hope you're right. 674 00:25:11,546 --> 00:25:13,422 Ah, okay. 675 00:25:13,464 --> 00:25:15,258 Thanks, Dawny. 676 00:25:15,299 --> 00:25:17,593 -Again. -[both laugh] 677 00:25:17,635 --> 00:25:21,514 You're welcome, again. [chuckles] 678 00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:24,517 soft choral music 679 00:25:31,524 --> 00:25:33,234 What the fuck? 680 00:25:35,695 --> 00:25:36,862 I can walk! 681 00:25:36,904 --> 00:25:39,574 Oh, my God, it's a miracle! I can walk! 682 00:25:39,615 --> 00:25:42,785 Oh, Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! 683 00:25:42,827 --> 00:25:44,704 [Blair] Praise Jesus indeed. 684 00:25:44,745 --> 00:25:46,539 Can you help us get over that heavenly hump? 685 00:25:46,581 --> 00:25:47,790 Can you spare it? 686 00:25:47,832 --> 00:25:51,544 Can you spare us from a life without our leader? 687 00:25:51,586 --> 00:25:55,923 Raise your hand if you can take us to the promised land! 688 00:25:55,965 --> 00:25:58,259 Yes, yes, yes, oh! 689 00:25:58,301 --> 00:26:01,512 It's a miracle! It's a miracle! 690 00:26:01,554 --> 00:26:04,223 Take it away, Pastor Swafford! 691 00:26:04,265 --> 00:26:06,392 Cue the video. 692 00:26:06,434 --> 00:26:09,353 [Newell] Hello. It. Is. Me. 693 00:26:09,395 --> 00:26:11,856 -Newell Swafford, pastor. -Yes! 694 00:26:11,897 --> 00:26:14,191 I love! All of you. 695 00:26:14,233 --> 00:26:18,279 Thank you. Fore! Resurrecting me. 696 00:26:18,321 --> 00:26:22,533 Like Jesus, I am going home. 697 00:26:22,575 --> 00:26:24,493 See you soon. 698 00:26:24,535 --> 00:26:28,122 God was nice. Good bye. 699 00:26:28,164 --> 00:26:29,457 Yes! 700 00:26:29,498 --> 00:26:31,417 [cheers and applause] 701 00:26:31,459 --> 00:26:33,252 You all deserve some thanks. 702 00:26:33,294 --> 00:26:34,879 Get on up here. Get on up here. 703 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,466 We are not worthy! We are not worthy! 704 00:26:38,507 --> 00:26:40,426 Whoo! 705 00:26:41,510 --> 00:26:43,137 [screams and gasps] 706 00:26:46,641 --> 00:26:48,142 Uh, no refunds. 707 00:26:48,184 --> 00:26:49,185 Thanks for coming. 708 00:26:49,226 --> 00:26:50,311 Run! 709 00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,360 Fuck. Nomi. 710 00:26:57,401 --> 00:26:59,153 [Nomi] What you reading? 711 00:26:59,195 --> 00:27:01,405 Uh. It's a jerk mag. 712 00:27:01,447 --> 00:27:03,115 I was gonna go have a little Mo party, 713 00:27:03,157 --> 00:27:05,660 but now I'm too sad. 714 00:27:05,701 --> 00:27:09,038 Hey, hey, stop. Stop. 715 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,498 [Mo sighs] 716 00:27:10,539 --> 00:27:13,501 solemn music 717 00:27:15,503 --> 00:27:17,046 I don't want this. 718 00:27:19,548 --> 00:27:20,883 Okay, I understand. 719 00:27:20,925 --> 00:27:24,136 If you can't be real with me about a fucked up leg, 720 00:27:24,178 --> 00:27:27,056 what else am I gonna have to worry about? 721 00:27:27,098 --> 00:27:30,518 So that's why I think 722 00:27:30,559 --> 00:27:34,063 if you ever hide some shit from me again, 723 00:27:34,105 --> 00:27:35,773 it's over. 724 00:27:35,815 --> 00:27:37,817 Don't you think I don't know you're older than me? 725 00:27:37,858 --> 00:27:40,111 You use talcum powder as deodorant. 726 00:27:40,152 --> 00:27:41,070 It's healthier. 727 00:27:41,112 --> 00:27:43,531 And your hair, it was salt-and-pepper yesterday, 728 00:27:43,572 --> 00:27:45,241 and now it's just pepper. 729 00:27:45,282 --> 00:27:46,242 I was going for something. 730 00:27:46,283 --> 00:27:48,452 Well, we'll figure it out. 731 00:27:48,494 --> 00:27:50,830 'Cause I love your old ass. 732 00:27:52,415 --> 00:27:54,291 I love you too, Nomi. 733 00:27:58,629 --> 00:28:02,049 -Come here. -Okay. 734 00:28:02,091 --> 00:28:03,467 How'd you find me? 735 00:28:03,509 --> 00:28:05,261 Dawn, she told me everything. 736 00:28:05,302 --> 00:28:06,470 Oh. 737 00:28:06,512 --> 00:28:08,347 She's a really good friend to you, Mo. 738 00:28:08,389 --> 00:28:11,392 Yeah, I guess she is. 739 00:28:11,434 --> 00:28:13,352 You like your new house? 740 00:28:13,394 --> 00:28:14,770 -Yeah, I love it. -Oh, good. 741 00:28:14,812 --> 00:28:16,605 Yeah. [chuckles] 742 00:28:16,647 --> 00:28:18,065 Ooh, what's that painting? 743 00:28:18,107 --> 00:28:21,360 Oh, my God. Does nobody know the band Dawn? 744 00:28:22,611 --> 00:28:23,821 I'll get rid of it. 745 00:28:23,863 --> 00:28:26,866 upbeat synth music