1 00:00:01,762 --> 00:00:04,679 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 2 00:00:04,762 --> 00:00:06,053 ♪♪♪ 3 00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:08,011 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 4 00:00:08,595 --> 00:00:10,011 [woman] Previously on Black Monday. 5 00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,637 Blair layeth down with my husband, 6 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:13,887 Congressman Roger Harris. 7 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,553 I mean, I do everything at TBD, 8 00:00:15,637 --> 00:00:19,011 but Blair's too busy getting the credit to say thanks. 9 00:00:19,095 --> 00:00:20,512 You know, I'd love to introduce you to my dad. 10 00:00:20,595 --> 00:00:22,428 He's always looking for investment opportunities. 11 00:00:22,512 --> 00:00:24,679 - Who's your daddy? - Pastor Newell Swafford. 12 00:00:24,762 --> 00:00:25,970 Do you share his views? 13 00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:27,637 [woman] Well, not his views on Roger. 14 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,470 Ever since we met, he hated him. 15 00:00:29,553 --> 00:00:31,345 This is my dick. This is not my dick. 16 00:00:31,428 --> 00:00:33,929 Wayne! Rubber room, now! 17 00:00:34,011 --> 00:00:35,970 I need your chunk of Amerisavings. 18 00:00:36,053 --> 00:00:38,679 I found Mo. He is off our books for good. 19 00:00:38,762 --> 00:00:40,220 [both shouting] [gunfire] 20 00:00:40,303 --> 00:00:41,553 - Okay. - Oh. 21 00:00:41,637 --> 00:00:43,512 This kinda gets me all the revenge I need, Keith. 22 00:00:43,595 --> 00:00:46,136 Now I'm going to Kokomo. 23 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:49,011 [reporter] A deadly shoot-out tore through a busy branch 24 00:00:49,095 --> 00:00:50,804 of Amerisavings & Loan. 25 00:00:50,887 --> 00:00:53,178 Stop saying the goddamn name! 26 00:00:55,261 --> 00:00:58,220 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 27 00:00:58,303 --> 00:01:02,637 ♪♪♪ 28 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,053 [Dawn] Thank you. 29 00:01:04,136 --> 00:01:05,720 ♪♪♪ 30 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,929 - [Alvin] Thank you. - [Dawn] Mm-hmm. 31 00:01:08,011 --> 00:01:09,804 - [Dennis] Thank you. - [Larry] No, no. 32 00:01:09,887 --> 00:01:11,679 That one's for Lenny. Sorry. 33 00:01:11,762 --> 00:01:12,804 Wasn't enough for everyone. 34 00:01:12,887 --> 00:01:15,053 Okay, let's catch up. 35 00:01:15,136 --> 00:01:17,470 Three weeks ago, a violent shoot-out 36 00:01:17,553 --> 00:01:20,762 took place at a Florida branch of Amerisavings & Loan, 37 00:01:20,845 --> 00:01:23,136 which is a joint investment between Leighman Brothers 38 00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:24,970 and The TBD Group. 39 00:01:25,053 --> 00:01:26,929 The shooting left six people dead, 40 00:01:27,011 --> 00:01:29,011 one person sort of a warm slush, 41 00:01:29,095 --> 00:01:32,053 and the overall investment worthless. 42 00:01:32,136 --> 00:01:33,679 Dennis, does that line up with your notes? 43 00:01:33,762 --> 00:01:34,887 I had six dead, 44 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,428 one person essentially spilled stew, 45 00:01:37,512 --> 00:01:39,011 and the investment, "dog shit." 46 00:01:39,095 --> 00:01:40,136 Updating my notes. 47 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:43,595 Now, your client initially accused my clients 48 00:01:43,679 --> 00:01:45,804 of engaging in a secret conspiracy 49 00:01:45,887 --> 00:01:47,428 to somehow "fuck me again like 50 00:01:47,512 --> 00:01:49,595 the shit-breathing lie monsters you are" 51 00:01:49,679 --> 00:01:53,387 and threatened to trigger his "Pants on Fire" clause 52 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:56,011 which would instantly refund the Leighman investment 53 00:01:56,095 --> 00:01:57,845 and bankrupt The TBD Group. 54 00:01:57,929 --> 00:01:59,136 That's right. 55 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,512 [Alvin] Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed 56 00:02:00,595 --> 00:02:03,387 and a lengthy investigation concluded that the massacre 57 00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,303 was simply an act of God. 58 00:02:05,387 --> 00:02:07,303 - Old Testament God. - Certainly. 59 00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:08,804 New Testament God has softened up a little bit. 60 00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:10,929 Your priorities shift when you become a dad. 61 00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:12,136 It's so true. 62 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,095 Ah, see how easy this is? 63 00:02:14,178 --> 00:02:16,053 I told you, with Mo out of the picture, 64 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,887 we can finally do business like adults. 65 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,095 Mm. 66 00:02:19,178 --> 00:02:20,679 Now, let's clean up this mess-acre. 67 00:02:20,762 --> 00:02:21,929 [all laughing] 68 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,220 Mess-acre! 69 00:02:23,303 --> 00:02:24,929 Now, I'm working with my congressional contacts 70 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,387 to make sure we get a fat bailout. 71 00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:28,387 It shouldn't be too hard to siphon some public 72 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,762 library funding to keep us on our feet, 73 00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:32,178 but my real question is, 74 00:02:32,261 --> 00:02:34,178 how do we rehab Amerisavings' image? 75 00:02:34,261 --> 00:02:36,470 Yes. Make Amerisavings Great Again. 76 00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,387 I think the real issue here is guns. 77 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:39,804 I think this whole thing could have been avoided 78 00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:41,762 if the world just had more of them. 79 00:02:41,845 --> 00:02:44,220 - It's rock-solid logic, Larry. - Yeah, it's true, it's true. 80 00:02:44,303 --> 00:02:45,428 That's why I'm also pressuring Congress 81 00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:47,804 to loosen conceal carry laws in Florida. 82 00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:49,220 My pitch: 83 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,136 while visiting any branch of Amerisavings & Loan, 84 00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:53,637 you'll be provided with a loaded firearm. 85 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,595 Yeah, I thought of that, but it's not cost-effective. 86 00:02:55,679 --> 00:02:56,595 How's that? 87 00:02:56,679 --> 00:02:57,804 People are gonna steal those guns 88 00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,220 like they steal pens. 89 00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:00,679 - [groans] - Unless... 90 00:03:04,095 --> 00:03:06,178 [all laughing] 91 00:03:06,261 --> 00:03:07,762 That's brilliant! Dawn, with the chain! 92 00:03:07,845 --> 00:03:08,845 I love it! 93 00:03:08,929 --> 00:03:10,387 You know, you are absolutely right. 94 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,595 With Mo finally gone, 95 00:03:11,679 --> 00:03:13,178 it has been a pleasure doing business with you. 96 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,345 - Aww, thank you. - Aww, well, thanks. 97 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,470 [Mo] Yo, yo! What'd I miss? 98 00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:18,512 ♪ tense music ♪ 99 00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:19,720 ♪♪♪ 100 00:03:19,804 --> 00:03:21,512 Anybody sitting here? 101 00:03:21,595 --> 00:03:24,387 [Larry] I'm gonna kill him! I'll shoot him in the head! 102 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,679 Give me the goddamn gun! 103 00:03:25,762 --> 00:03:27,762 - [Dawn] Please, Larry! - Give me the gun! 104 00:03:27,845 --> 00:03:28,637 [all shouting] 105 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:29,804 - Goddamn chain! - [Dawn] Larry! 106 00:03:29,887 --> 00:03:31,970 Hey, calm down, brother fucker. 107 00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:34,095 I mean, my deepest condolences. 108 00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:37,345 I can only imagine the pain of losing my best friend. 109 00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:38,595 With benefits. 110 00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:40,387 Fuck, I knew it! I fucking knew it! 111 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,929 I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! 112 00:03:42,011 --> 00:03:43,929 I knew all you assholes were still working together 113 00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:44,804 to fuck me! 114 00:03:44,887 --> 00:03:46,178 - No! - You're a snake, 115 00:03:46,261 --> 00:03:47,095 you're a snake, and you're a fucking snake! 116 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:48,345 - [Dawn] No, wait. - Eh! 117 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,136 Mo, what the fuck are you doing here? 118 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,178 I swear, Larry, this is not what it looks like. 119 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:53,220 No, Dawn. You know what it looks like? 120 00:03:53,303 --> 00:03:54,303 It looks like I'm about to trigger my-- 121 00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:55,720 what is it again, Dennis? 122 00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:57,553 - Uh, "Pants on Fire" clause. - Pants on Fi--really? 123 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:58,637 "Pants on Fire"? That's where we landed? 124 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,804 - [Dennis] It's not bad. - Fuck it. 125 00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:01,011 It doesn't matter. I'm triggering it. 126 00:04:01,095 --> 00:04:03,178 You got 12 hours to return my $20 million. 127 00:04:03,261 --> 00:04:04,553 - That's it! - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 128 00:04:04,637 --> 00:04:05,553 - Come on, Dennis. - [all] Larry! 129 00:04:05,637 --> 00:04:07,011 - Larry! - [Larry] Fuck you! 130 00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,011 [Mo] Mm, that was uncomfortable. 131 00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:09,929 [laughing] 132 00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:13,136 So, miss me? 133 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,178 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 134 00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:19,220 - What in the fuck, Mo? - I'm back, baby. 135 00:04:19,303 --> 00:04:21,387 From where? An unlicensed salon? 136 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,553 Yeah, before we call 911 to haul your ass back to prison, 137 00:04:24,637 --> 00:04:25,929 what's with your look, bro? 138 00:04:26,011 --> 00:04:27,595 You look like a polluted waterfall. 139 00:04:27,679 --> 00:04:29,887 I will have you know this is a very popular hairstyle. 140 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,970 You look like you got reverse electrocuted. 141 00:04:32,053 --> 00:04:33,220 Don't try to play along, Alvin. 142 00:04:33,303 --> 00:04:34,303 [Mo] You wanna talk about hair, Dawn? 143 00:04:34,387 --> 00:04:35,804 I saw your little spread in the Journal . 144 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:37,178 Very bush league. 145 00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:38,553 As in your bush is in a league of its own. 146 00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:39,637 Professional. [laughing] 147 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,136 - Fuck you! - Okay, fuck this. 148 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:42,845 - You're going back to prison. - Again! 149 00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:44,428 Okay, well, before you call the cops, 150 00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:46,887 you may wanna check out my little article. 151 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:49,637 ♪ tense music ♪ 152 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:54,887 ♪♪♪ 153 00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,762 How the fuck did you get off? 154 00:04:56,845 --> 00:04:58,011 Well, A, Blair, 155 00:04:58,095 --> 00:04:59,720 Black Monday didn't have anything to do with me. 156 00:04:59,804 --> 00:05:01,428 That was y'all, and B, 157 00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:02,553 yeah, I cut Jammer loose. 158 00:05:02,637 --> 00:05:03,762 To save your life, by the way. 159 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,261 You're welcome. 160 00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:06,720 Which is why cops ruled it self-defense. 161 00:05:06,804 --> 00:05:08,303 [Mo] Dawn should have warned you, Blair. 162 00:05:08,387 --> 00:05:11,261 It may take me a while, but I always get off. 163 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,428 Eww. The fuck are you doing here? 164 00:05:13,512 --> 00:05:15,387 What happened to all that shit you were talking about, 165 00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:16,261 wanting to leave the game? 166 00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:17,512 Eh, changed my mind. 167 00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:19,261 I thought you said you handled him. 168 00:05:19,345 --> 00:05:20,261 I thought I handled him! 169 00:05:20,345 --> 00:05:21,095 What are we working with here? 170 00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:22,470 - Cherry. - Ooh! 171 00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:23,553 - You mind if I get involved? - No objection. 172 00:05:23,637 --> 00:05:24,887 You fucked us, Mo! 173 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:26,136 Larry is never gonna believe 174 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:27,679 we weren't secretly working together 175 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,595 to screw him over. He's gonna ruin us. 176 00:05:29,679 --> 00:05:30,845 No, it's okay. You know what? 177 00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:33,178 Bankruptcy, it's--it's not that bad. 178 00:05:33,261 --> 00:05:34,303 [Dawn] We'll restructure our debt 179 00:05:34,387 --> 00:05:35,345 and we'll come out even stronger. 180 00:05:35,428 --> 00:05:37,387 It'll be a bumpy ride, but you know, 181 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,011 every great company has a couple of chapter 11s 182 00:05:39,095 --> 00:05:40,303 - under their belt. - Shut the fuck up real quick. 183 00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:41,553 - Whoa, what? - Whoa, whoa. 184 00:05:41,637 --> 00:05:42,553 [Blair] What if we just raise enough money 185 00:05:42,637 --> 00:05:43,762 to pay back the Leighman, 186 00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:46,637 then raise enough money to pay off the investors 187 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,470 we got the money from to pay off the Leighman? 188 00:05:48,553 --> 00:05:50,470 Then raise enough money to pay off the investors 189 00:05:50,553 --> 00:05:51,720 we got the money from to pay off the investors 190 00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:53,053 we got the money from to pay off the Leighman. 191 00:05:53,136 --> 00:05:55,345 That's literally a Ponzi scheme. 192 00:05:55,428 --> 00:05:58,220 No, no, no, no, no. It's a buying time scheme, 193 00:05:58,303 --> 00:05:59,679 and it's not a scheme. 194 00:05:59,762 --> 00:06:01,804 It's a plan to stay afloat until I have my next big idea. 195 00:06:01,887 --> 00:06:03,470 Wow, he really is a Wiz of Wall Street. 196 00:06:03,553 --> 00:06:04,637 [Dawn] You fucking too? 197 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,220 Black Monday was my idea. My idea! 198 00:06:07,303 --> 00:06:09,804 One of you is describing literal fraud, 199 00:06:09,887 --> 00:06:11,512 and the other is demanding credit 200 00:06:11,595 --> 00:06:13,887 for global financial terrorism. 201 00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:15,470 As your attorney, 202 00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:18,512 I have to advise you that I will be plugging my ears 203 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:19,762 for the remainder of this conversation. 204 00:06:19,845 --> 00:06:21,136 - Smart play, Alvin. - [Dawn] Thank you. 205 00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:22,512 - You're welcome. - [Dawn] Look. 206 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:24,136 Blair, all right? 207 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,095 Let's do the smart thing here. 208 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,303 Bankruptcy is a hiccup, 209 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,053 but if we get sucked into a major fraud, 210 00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:30,512 we're gonna lose everything. 211 00:06:30,595 --> 00:06:32,136 [Dawn] Plus it's wrong. 212 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:35,136 Haven't you felt a little guilty since the crash? 213 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:35,970 No. 214 00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:37,387 We destroyed so many lives, 215 00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:39,637 not to mention the two that we ended. 216 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,220 [Mo] I heard about three or four suicides that day, 217 00:06:41,303 --> 00:06:42,470 so you can take credit for those, too, 218 00:06:42,553 --> 00:06:43,720 you fucking serial killers. 219 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,387 [both] The fuck are you doing here? 220 00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,428 I need a goddamn job, okay? I'm broke. 221 00:06:47,512 --> 00:06:49,553 I gave you $800,000 a month ago! 222 00:06:49,637 --> 00:06:51,512 - Yeah, I'm a spender. - Whoa, whoa. 223 00:06:51,595 --> 00:06:53,512 You gave him 800k of company money? 224 00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,011 The Leighman wouldn't do the bank deal 225 00:06:55,095 --> 00:06:56,595 unless we bought Mo out. 226 00:06:56,679 --> 00:06:58,553 What happened to partners telling partners everything? 227 00:06:58,637 --> 00:06:59,804 Ooh, trouble in paradise. 228 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,136 You know, once the lying starts, 229 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:01,929 it's really hard-- 230 00:07:02,011 --> 00:07:03,095 [both] Sit the fuck down! 231 00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:07,261 All due, Dawn, 232 00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,595 our biggest asset right now is my rep, 233 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,553 so let's not ruin it. Let's use it. 234 00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:13,387 Every investor on the street's on my jock. 235 00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:14,553 20 mil will be a breeze. 236 00:07:14,637 --> 00:07:17,261 Blair, Ponzi scheme always ends badly. 237 00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:19,470 [Blair] Not a Ponzi. Not a scheme. 238 00:07:19,553 --> 00:07:21,470 We're just gonna take a couple million dollars 239 00:07:21,553 --> 00:07:23,178 from a select group of my groupies 240 00:07:23,261 --> 00:07:24,512 and pay the Leighman off by dinner, 241 00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:26,220 and then you and I can get back to brainstorming 242 00:07:26,303 --> 00:07:27,845 our next big idea. 243 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:30,220 But not tonight because Roger and I have backstage 244 00:07:30,303 --> 00:07:31,637 at Springsteen. 245 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,804 And next week I have jury duty. 246 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:33,762 [scoffs] 247 00:07:33,845 --> 00:07:34,845 For the Sundance Film Festival. 248 00:07:34,929 --> 00:07:35,845 But as soon as I'm back in town, 249 00:07:35,929 --> 00:07:36,970 we are cracking those books, babe. 250 00:07:37,053 --> 00:07:38,387 You know what? 251 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:39,470 I know I don't have a vote here, 252 00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:40,220 but Blair's really making a strong pitch. 253 00:07:40,303 --> 00:07:41,303 Thank you, and fuck you. 254 00:07:41,387 --> 00:07:42,428 Got it. 255 00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:44,345 Blair, what happens when that 20 runs out? 256 00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:45,970 This is gonna catch up to us 257 00:07:46,053 --> 00:07:47,345 and we're gonna ruin both of our reps. 258 00:07:47,428 --> 00:07:48,762 We are doing this! 259 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,220 Sorry. Little 'roid rage. 260 00:07:52,303 --> 00:07:53,762 [clearing throat] 261 00:07:53,845 --> 00:07:55,595 But I just feel very strongly about this. 262 00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:58,637 ♪ tense music ♪ 263 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,637 ♪♪♪ 264 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,762 Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. 265 00:08:01,845 --> 00:08:03,929 I just got a little ditzy. 266 00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,345 - [laughs] - [Dawn] Yeah. 267 00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:06,428 Let's do your plan, 268 00:08:06,512 --> 00:08:08,095 but maybe since we only have 12 hours, 269 00:08:08,178 --> 00:08:09,679 instead of getting a little cash 270 00:08:09,762 --> 00:08:10,720 from a lot of different people, 271 00:08:10,804 --> 00:08:12,261 we just get it from one big whale. 272 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:14,303 And I have the perfect whale. 273 00:08:14,387 --> 00:08:16,136 Pastor Newell Swafford. 274 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,095 No, no, no, no. We can't, we can't. 275 00:08:18,178 --> 00:08:19,679 [Dawn] His network-- Honor God Television-- 276 00:08:19,762 --> 00:08:20,845 is legally a church. 277 00:08:20,929 --> 00:08:23,595 That means they've got tons of tax-exempt cash 278 00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:25,595 just waiting with not enough places to stash it. 279 00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,762 - HGTV is legally a church? - Yes. 280 00:08:27,845 --> 00:08:30,261 It started as a TV network but was officially granted 281 00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:31,679 church status, 282 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,637 the same way Scientology started off as a cruise line 283 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,762 and the Mormons started as a name tag company. 284 00:08:35,845 --> 00:08:39,261 Newell lives in a jet. 285 00:08:39,345 --> 00:08:41,553 In the air, okay? 286 00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:43,470 He only lands to refuel 287 00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:45,095 and cut the ribbon on Hobby Lobby openings. 288 00:08:45,178 --> 00:08:46,970 Yeah, but he's also Roger's father-in-law. 289 00:08:47,053 --> 00:08:49,303 I don't have to explain to you that this complicates things. 290 00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:50,637 I think it simplifies things. 291 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,387 I've got a rec from his daughter. 292 00:08:52,470 --> 00:08:54,679 You've got a super close relationship 293 00:08:54,762 --> 00:08:56,261 with the son-in-law, who he loves, 294 00:08:56,345 --> 00:08:57,553 according to Corkie. 295 00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,428 We've got the fundamentals and the personals. 296 00:08:59,512 --> 00:09:00,929 Forget about it! 297 00:09:01,011 --> 00:09:04,970 We might even get 40 million. What do you think? 298 00:09:05,053 --> 00:09:06,220 I think we have a plane to catch. 299 00:09:06,303 --> 00:09:08,178 - Yes! - [laughing] 300 00:09:08,261 --> 00:09:10,512 Man, I love it when a plan comes together. 301 00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:12,512 Hey, Dawn, check this out. 302 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,178 - [Mo] Twins. - [Dawn] Fuck you, Mo. 303 00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:15,220 Okay, what about the job? 304 00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:17,261 Is that a--is that a no-go for Mo-Mo? 305 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:20,845 I take it you heard all of that. 306 00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:23,804 Well, the important thing is that I tried not to. 307 00:09:23,887 --> 00:09:25,345 You're a class act, Alvin. 308 00:09:25,428 --> 00:09:28,345 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 309 00:09:28,428 --> 00:09:30,762 [phone beeping] 310 00:09:30,845 --> 00:09:32,178 ♪♪♪ 311 00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:33,512 Yeah, it's me. I'm in. 312 00:09:33,595 --> 00:09:34,637 Listen. 313 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,303 Meet me at TBD at 9:00 o'clock tonight. 314 00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:37,553 All right? And wear something nice. 315 00:09:37,637 --> 00:09:40,720 ♪♪♪ 316 00:09:41,387 --> 00:09:43,136 [gate buzzing] 317 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:44,512 [indistinct chatter] 318 00:09:44,595 --> 00:09:45,720 [man] Transfer. 319 00:09:45,804 --> 00:09:47,929 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 320 00:09:48,011 --> 00:09:49,804 - What's this? - Fuck you, baldy. 321 00:09:49,887 --> 00:09:51,595 Hah, eat shit, white boy. 322 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,804 - Nice mustache, bitch. - Come on. 323 00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:56,595 - Open up. - [buzzing] 324 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,470 All right. 325 00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:00,595 You don't belong with those criminals. 326 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:04,178 You belong in here with these folks because you're white. 327 00:10:04,261 --> 00:10:05,387 - What? - Collar. 328 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:08,720 Here's a welcome bag and a key to your cell. 329 00:10:08,804 --> 00:10:11,512 Wh-what is this place? 330 00:10:11,595 --> 00:10:13,136 I could tell you, 331 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:15,387 but it would sound a heck of a lot sweeter 332 00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:18,428 coming from Club Fed's very own a capella group 333 00:10:18,512 --> 00:10:20,804 made up of the best Yale Wiffenpoofs 334 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,553 and Harvard Hasty Pudding singers 335 00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:24,178 money can't buy out of prison-- 336 00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:26,512 The Jailbirds! Boys? 337 00:10:26,595 --> 00:10:27,637 [pitch pipe blows] 338 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,720 [all singing] 339 00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:10,887 And fressed? 340 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,845 [all singing] ♪ Yes ♪ 341 00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:23,804 [all] ♪ Ah ♪ 342 00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:33,428 Collar, right? 343 00:11:33,512 --> 00:11:34,762 Yeah, sure, whatever. 344 00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:37,178 Hey, tell him about the activities. 345 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,804 How is this allowed? 346 00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:37,053 Collar! 347 00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:38,345 - Yeah, yeah, sure. - Sure. 348 00:12:38,428 --> 00:12:39,095 - Okay. - Right. 349 00:12:39,178 --> 00:12:39,929 - Whatever. - Yeah. 350 00:12:40,011 --> 00:12:41,428 [clears throat] 351 00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:44,553 Um, just down the hall? 352 00:12:44,637 --> 00:12:46,345 [Blair] Wow, look at this. 353 00:12:46,428 --> 00:12:48,136 - Hi. - Hello there. 354 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,220 Ooh, I've only skimmed the Bible, 355 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,553 but I am pretty sure this is exactly what our Lord 356 00:12:52,637 --> 00:12:53,929 and Savior would have wanted. 357 00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:56,345 Yeah, he did seem like a private jet kind of guy. 358 00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:58,387 Are you sure I shouldn't call Roger? 359 00:12:58,470 --> 00:12:59,887 Yes, I'm sure. 360 00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:02,512 Honestly, it sounds more suspicious if you ask. 361 00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:03,970 And come on, 362 00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,428 you promised that you wouldn't let a little dick get 363 00:13:05,512 --> 00:13:06,929 in the way of big business. 364 00:13:07,011 --> 00:13:08,387 Well, it isn't little. 365 00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:09,679 It's not gigantic. 366 00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:12,261 What I'm saying is it's a normal adult-sized penis. 367 00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:13,428 Hmm. Okay. 368 00:13:13,512 --> 00:13:15,970 Now, Corkie already talked to him, all right? 369 00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:20,345 And Newell cannot wait to meet the Wiz of Wall Street. 370 00:13:20,428 --> 00:13:21,720 - That's me. - Yeah. 371 00:13:21,804 --> 00:13:23,720 That's why I took the pause and then pointed at you. 372 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:24,804 - Thank you. - All right. 373 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,136 Now I'm gonna lay out the numbers and you-- 374 00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,679 I will tell him how close I am with Roger. 375 00:13:27,762 --> 00:13:28,720 Exactly. 376 00:13:28,804 --> 00:13:30,470 [both] Forget about it! 377 00:13:30,553 --> 00:13:31,887 I'll get right on that, sir. 378 00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:33,804 - Oh, Governor. - Blair! 379 00:13:33,887 --> 00:13:35,553 - Hi. - Regina? 380 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:37,720 I loved last week's 227. 381 00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:38,887 Although I wish that Mary and Lester 382 00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:40,679 would relax their dating rules 383 00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:42,387 so Brenda and Calvin can get it on. 384 00:13:42,470 --> 00:13:44,261 [laughing] Wow. 385 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,345 Well, thank you so much for watching, Governor. 386 00:13:47,929 --> 00:13:49,178 - Yikes. - I mean, 387 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:51,679 can you guys really not tell us apart? 388 00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:53,178 No. 389 00:13:53,261 --> 00:13:55,428 - [groans] - Okay. 390 00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:57,970 Welcome to Air Prayer. 391 00:13:58,053 --> 00:13:59,887 Amen. An honor to be here. 392 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,095 - The lady in red. - Yes. 393 00:14:02,178 --> 00:14:05,303 You know, red is Satan's favorite color. 394 00:14:09,428 --> 00:14:12,053 [Mo] I can't believe I'm back. 395 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,178 I mean, there was a time when this life was all I ever wanted 396 00:14:16,261 --> 00:14:18,804 but I wasn't happy. I mean, 397 00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:20,845 I was happier when I had nothing. 398 00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:22,679 So of course I come back, right? 399 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:25,220 'Cause that's what I do. 400 00:14:25,303 --> 00:14:26,970 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 401 00:14:27,053 --> 00:14:29,970 It reminds me of this recurring dream I had when I was little 402 00:14:30,053 --> 00:14:32,428 where I get adopted by this perfect family 403 00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:36,261 and get dropped off in this perfect house 404 00:14:36,345 --> 00:14:39,303 and--and I go inside, and it's identical 405 00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:42,303 to my broke-ass boys home, you know? 406 00:14:42,387 --> 00:14:44,011 And I turn around, try to get out of there, 407 00:14:44,095 --> 00:14:45,720 but there's no fucking doors. I'm trapped. 408 00:14:45,804 --> 00:14:47,637 ♪♪♪ 409 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,053 And then I get super molested. 410 00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:52,553 And I don't mean the choice, like, between soup or molested. 411 00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:54,011 I'm saying super molested, you know? 412 00:14:54,095 --> 00:14:55,929 Like, it's a prixe fixe menu and that's the only thing 413 00:14:56,011 --> 00:14:57,261 on there, is molested. 414 00:14:57,345 --> 00:14:59,595 ♪♪♪ 415 00:14:59,679 --> 00:15:01,011 I just wanna go to Kokomo. 416 00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:04,387 ♪♪♪ 417 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,387 Sorry, so you do want your old suite, 418 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,512 or you don't? 419 00:15:07,595 --> 00:15:11,136 Also, you know that Kokomo's not a real place, right? 420 00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:13,178 Yeah, yeah, give me the suite. 421 00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:16,512 I just wanted to make sure the new chaise was comfortable. 422 00:15:16,595 --> 00:15:17,637 Good talk though, right? 423 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,303 How do you plan to pay for the suite, sir? 424 00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:22,679 Because I read that you sort of lost everything. 425 00:15:22,762 --> 00:15:23,637 - [laughs] - No offense. 426 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,762 Nah, I did. But guess what? 427 00:15:25,845 --> 00:15:27,679 Money is no object, motherfucker. 428 00:15:27,762 --> 00:15:30,512 Oh. Uh, well, welcome back, sir. 429 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:31,553 Thank you. 430 00:15:32,804 --> 00:15:35,970 Ah, love it up here. 431 00:15:36,053 --> 00:15:38,220 You know why I spend all my time in the sky? 432 00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:39,387 To be closer to God? 433 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:41,720 - And farther from AIDS. - Okay. 434 00:15:41,804 --> 00:15:43,929 Now, normally I would not take 435 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,011 a meeting pitched by a secretary, 436 00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:48,261 but my daughter insisted, 437 00:15:48,345 --> 00:15:50,428 and as a long-time Jet subscriber... 438 00:15:50,512 --> 00:15:51,720 Aww. 439 00:15:51,804 --> 00:15:53,136 I've just been dying to meet this cover boy. 440 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,011 - Do you mind? - Not at all. 441 00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:56,804 Like I said, uh, actually, 442 00:15:56,887 --> 00:15:58,720 I'm not Blair's secretary. 443 00:15:58,804 --> 00:16:00,637 Well, you can't be his wife. 444 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,553 Because you're-- 445 00:16:03,637 --> 00:16:05,178 His business partner. 446 00:16:05,261 --> 00:16:07,762 [laughs] Anyways, The TBD group is-- 447 00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,095 Would someone like a beverage? 448 00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:10,929 - Uh, a gin and tonic. - Sure, Bloody Mary. 449 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,929 - Would be great. - All we have is ginger ale. 450 00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:15,011 The wine of the sky. 451 00:16:15,095 --> 00:16:16,679 - [laughs] - [Newell] Lynette! 452 00:16:16,762 --> 00:16:17,970 Three ginger ales! 453 00:16:18,053 --> 00:16:19,970 - [PA system beeps] - [Lynette] Yes, Pastor. 454 00:16:20,053 --> 00:16:22,220 - Okay, I will be brief. - Good. 455 00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:24,261 [Dawn laughs] We're the only firm 456 00:16:24,345 --> 00:16:27,011 that actually made a profit on Black Monday 457 00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:28,345 because we predicted it. 458 00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,553 You did? 459 00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:32,053 We can grow HGTV's money in good times 460 00:16:32,136 --> 00:16:33,053 and in bad times. 461 00:16:33,136 --> 00:16:37,428 With us it is either feast or feast. 462 00:16:37,512 --> 00:16:41,512 [snickering] 463 00:16:41,595 --> 00:16:44,428 Feast or fea-- I'm gonna write that down! 464 00:16:44,512 --> 00:16:45,887 [laughing] 465 00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:47,428 But it's not just about the money. 466 00:16:47,512 --> 00:16:49,720 Uh, our clients are like our family 467 00:16:49,804 --> 00:16:51,387 and speaking of family, Blair. 468 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,720 Family: the only people you can trust... 469 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,220 - [Dawn] Mm, mm. - ...are the people they trust. 470 00:16:56,303 --> 00:16:59,053 For example, recently I had the privilege of-- 471 00:16:59,136 --> 00:17:00,345 [turbulence clattering] [all shouting] 472 00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,553 - Okay. - [shouts] 473 00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:04,095 All right, Lynette, get ahold of this plane! 474 00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:07,178 That's right, Lynette is also our pilot. 475 00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:09,303 If you'll excuse me. 476 00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:10,845 [Newell] Lynette, where are you? 477 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:12,136 Jesus. 478 00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,553 [man] Tryouts for the dressage tournament 479 00:17:14,637 --> 00:17:16,637 will be starting in the equestrian center 480 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,804 in ten minutes. 481 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,095 Hey, bud. What you reading? 482 00:17:19,178 --> 00:17:21,720 Oh, nudie magazine hidden in a novel. 483 00:17:21,804 --> 00:17:23,053 [Dandleton] Ah, the classics. 484 00:17:23,136 --> 00:17:25,428 Gather your things. You're getting out of here. 485 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,095 - Early release. - [Keith] Already? 486 00:17:27,178 --> 00:17:28,387 [Dandleton] You've learned your lesson, 487 00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:31,011 and we've gotta make room for all the new prisoners 488 00:17:31,095 --> 00:17:34,095 now that Congress passed that three strikes law. 489 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,095 Seems pretty racist to me, 490 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:37,804 and I am a huge racist. 491 00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:39,845 So that's it? I'm just free? 492 00:17:39,929 --> 00:17:41,845 Not completely free. 493 00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,512 You're on work release. 494 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:44,720 Work? 495 00:17:44,804 --> 00:17:45,804 For who? 496 00:17:45,887 --> 00:17:47,345 [gate buzzing] 497 00:17:47,428 --> 00:17:50,261 ♪ tense music ♪ 498 00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:54,053 ♪♪♪ 499 00:17:54,136 --> 00:17:56,428 - Larry Leighman? - Hello, Keith. 500 00:17:56,512 --> 00:17:57,887 I was in the neighborhood. 501 00:17:57,970 --> 00:17:59,220 I thought I'd swing by and, uh, 502 00:17:59,303 --> 00:18:00,970 see if you enjoyed your stay at my prison. 503 00:18:01,053 --> 00:18:02,679 - Your prison? - Oh, yeah. 504 00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,929 The private priz biz is a-boomin'. 505 00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:06,261 Three strikes? 506 00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:08,553 More like grand slam, thank you, Uncle Sam. 507 00:18:08,637 --> 00:18:09,929 [laughs] 508 00:18:10,011 --> 00:18:11,428 You look confused. 509 00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:13,303 How do you think you got released so quickly? 510 00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:15,387 Uh, work released. 511 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,387 - So I'm working for you now. - That's right. 512 00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:18,929 You're working for me. 513 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:20,220 What do you want? 514 00:18:20,303 --> 00:18:22,804 Just your help fucking Mo and The TBD Group so hard 515 00:18:22,887 --> 00:18:25,637 that they'll beg for death. 516 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,970 [Keith exhales] 517 00:18:27,053 --> 00:18:30,053 Fine, but only if you give me something I want. 518 00:18:30,136 --> 00:18:32,220 Ooh, and what's that, Keith? 519 00:18:32,303 --> 00:18:34,595 Just your help fucking Mo and The TBD Group 520 00:18:34,679 --> 00:18:37,053 so hard that they'll beg for death. 521 00:18:37,136 --> 00:18:39,553 [laughs] Get in. 522 00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:40,929 All right. 523 00:18:41,011 --> 00:18:42,095 [Larry] No, not this side. Walk around the car. 524 00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:43,053 - [Keith] Slide over. - [Larry] No. 525 00:18:43,136 --> 00:18:44,387 I'm not gonna move over. 526 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,804 Just walk around the car and sit in the empty seat. 527 00:18:45,887 --> 00:18:47,178 All right, fine. 528 00:18:47,261 --> 00:18:49,136 That's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard of. 529 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,679 [all] Mmm. 530 00:18:54,762 --> 00:18:56,095 Now, where were we? 531 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,929 I believe Blair, uh, was talking about 532 00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:00,220 his personal connection to-- 533 00:19:00,303 --> 00:19:01,095 [Newell] God? 534 00:19:01,178 --> 00:19:03,261 You a God-fearing man, Blair? 535 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:07,845 The rich will rule over the poor 536 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,178 and the borrower-- I guess that's us-- 537 00:19:10,261 --> 00:19:12,428 is servant to the lender. 538 00:19:12,512 --> 00:19:14,679 It's Proverbs 22:7. 539 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:17,303 - I grew up real churchy. - Don't say another word. 540 00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:20,845 You know the numbers and the book of Numbers. 541 00:19:20,929 --> 00:19:22,428 From this moment forward, 542 00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:27,095 the Wizard of Wall Street shall now act as my grand vizier. 543 00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:28,011 - Great. - But-- 544 00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:29,929 You will be my Grand Wizard. 545 00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:31,095 That didn't feel right. 546 00:19:31,178 --> 00:19:33,720 And you will be minor-ly involved. 547 00:19:33,804 --> 00:19:35,929 Well, great. With that settled, 548 00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:37,553 I'm gonna use the lavatory. 549 00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:38,887 I had a little too much sky wine. 550 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,136 [both laughing] 551 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,470 [Newell] Second door on the left. 552 00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:42,845 Just lift the seat up in the confessional. 553 00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:44,095 Okay. 554 00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:45,970 Oh, wow, this is great. 555 00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:47,303 - Isn't it, though? - [Dawn] Yeah. 556 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,637 I'll tell you who's gonna be thrilled about this. 557 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,095 - Who? - [Dawn] Your son-in-law. 558 00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:52,095 Mm-hmm, the congressman and Blair 559 00:19:52,178 --> 00:19:54,345 are very, very tight. 560 00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:56,553 You don't say, sweetheart? 561 00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:58,011 Very. 562 00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:58,970 Very? 563 00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:00,261 Very, very. 564 00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:03,303 ♪ tense music ♪ 565 00:20:03,387 --> 00:20:04,679 [Wayne] Hey, thanks for coming to meet me. 566 00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,053 [man] Oh, thank you. I'm glad you called. 567 00:20:06,136 --> 00:20:07,303 And I'm glad you're back. 568 00:20:07,387 --> 00:20:09,387 Look, I'm sorry I had you sent to the rubber room, 569 00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:11,136 but hopefully it helped somehow. 570 00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,553 - What was it like in there? - It was great. 571 00:20:13,637 --> 00:20:15,136 It-it brought me a lot of clarity, 572 00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:16,595 so thank you. 573 00:20:16,679 --> 00:20:18,970 That sounds like a mislead if I have ever heard one. 574 00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:20,720 - But-- - [all speaking at once] 575 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,011 I was right. 576 00:20:23,095 --> 00:20:24,595 Being punished for offending women 577 00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:28,095 made me realize what the world really needs. 578 00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:31,303 A safe space just for men. 579 00:20:31,387 --> 00:20:33,762 [Wayne] Where boys could still be boys. 580 00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:37,011 A place where women aren't welcome. 581 00:20:37,095 --> 00:20:39,553 You mean like a country club? 582 00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:42,387 Or the board room of a Fortune 500 company? 583 00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,095 The executive branch of the government, 584 00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:47,011 a TV writers' room, most Arab nations, 585 00:20:47,095 --> 00:20:48,303 and the Senate floor in pants? 586 00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:49,512 Did you know that is the law? 587 00:20:49,595 --> 00:20:52,178 Women cannot be on the Senate floor in pants! 588 00:20:52,261 --> 00:20:53,929 Bro, if chicks can be feminists, 589 00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:55,178 why can't men be meninists? 590 00:20:55,261 --> 00:20:57,845 Bro, if another dude joins this organization, 591 00:20:57,929 --> 00:21:00,095 do you have to change the name to Just 5 Men? 592 00:21:00,178 --> 00:21:03,345 Laugh now, but I put fliers all over town. 593 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,261 I've taken ads in all the major newspapers. 594 00:21:05,345 --> 00:21:06,762 When word gets out about Just 4 Men-- 595 00:21:06,845 --> 00:21:07,720 Word is out! 596 00:21:07,804 --> 00:21:10,720 Have you never heard of Just F-O-R Men? 597 00:21:10,804 --> 00:21:12,970 Wait, are you saying there's already a group 598 00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:14,512 of like-minded meninists? 599 00:21:14,595 --> 00:21:15,595 That's not a word. 600 00:21:15,679 --> 00:21:16,929 Trying to topple the matriarchy? 601 00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:18,637 - [man] That's not a thing. - That's great, man. 602 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,512 [Wayne] So, you ready to join? 603 00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:22,303 Dues are $1500 a week. 604 00:21:22,387 --> 00:21:24,053 I way overdid it with merch and marketing. 605 00:21:24,136 --> 00:21:28,887 Wayne, I love you, buddy, but you are lost. 606 00:21:32,553 --> 00:21:34,679 Y'all clear this shit up before Dawn gets here 607 00:21:34,762 --> 00:21:36,720 or it's gonna be Just 4 Corpses. 608 00:21:38,011 --> 00:21:39,261 [door closes] 609 00:21:39,345 --> 00:21:41,470 [laughs] What'd I miss? 610 00:21:41,553 --> 00:21:44,095 - Your girl here-- - Business partner. 611 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,053 She was saying that you're familiar 612 00:21:46,136 --> 00:21:47,345 with my daughter's husband. 613 00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:49,220 Yes, he's a great man. 614 00:21:49,303 --> 00:21:50,470 I haven't known him for long, 615 00:21:50,553 --> 00:21:52,428 but we've gotten to know each other very well. 616 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,887 Inside and out. 617 00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:57,261 And that close relationship is another reason 618 00:21:57,345 --> 00:22:01,887 why HGTV should trust TBD to handle their trust ASAP. 619 00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:04,804 - [laughing] - Or not. 620 00:22:06,053 --> 00:22:09,804 So you're the boy that Roger's been golfing with recently.orry? 621 00:22:09,887 --> 00:22:11,261 That's me. 622 00:22:11,345 --> 00:22:13,345 I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to pass. 623 00:22:13,428 --> 00:22:15,428 Lynette, land the plane! 624 00:22:15,512 --> 00:22:17,345 [jet engine roaring] 625 00:22:17,428 --> 00:22:19,178 [Newell] Lynette! 626 00:22:19,261 --> 00:22:22,095 ♪ Billy Ocean's Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car ♪ 627 00:22:22,178 --> 00:22:23,136 ♪♪♪ 628 00:22:23,220 --> 00:22:26,011 - [man] You ready, boss? - Let's go. 629 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,053 [razor buzzing] 630 00:22:29,136 --> 00:22:33,220 ♪♪♪ 631 00:22:33,303 --> 00:22:35,637 Your measurements are completely different now. 632 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,512 Well, you know, a lot's changed since I stopped doing coke. 633 00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:39,804 - And what about Kyle 2? - Well, he's a robot, 634 00:22:39,887 --> 00:22:41,387 so his weight doesn't fluctuate. 635 00:22:41,470 --> 00:22:43,178 I meant do you want suits for him? 636 00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,804 He's a robot. 637 00:22:44,887 --> 00:22:46,303 Of course. 638 00:22:46,387 --> 00:22:49,470 ♪ ...my door, what's the score ♪ 639 00:22:49,553 --> 00:22:52,011 [Mo] Remember, money's no object. 640 00:22:52,095 --> 00:22:53,804 [clicks tongue] You're gonna look great, K2. 641 00:22:53,887 --> 00:22:57,470 ♪ Hey Cinderella step in your shoe ♪ 642 00:22:57,553 --> 00:23:01,136 ♪ I'll be your nonstop lover ♪ 643 00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:02,595 ♪ Get it while you can ♪ 644 00:23:02,679 --> 00:23:05,470 ♪ Your nonstop miracle ♪ 645 00:23:05,553 --> 00:23:07,595 ♪ I'm your man ♪ 646 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:10,178 ♪ Get out of my dreams ♪ 647 00:23:10,261 --> 00:23:11,970 ♪♪♪ 648 00:23:12,053 --> 00:23:14,178 ♪ Get into my car ♪ 649 00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:16,136 ♪♪♪ 650 00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:19,095 ♪ Get out of my, get out of my ♪ 651 00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:21,929 [car engine rattling] 652 00:23:28,261 --> 00:23:32,011 ♪ Get out of my dreams, get in the back seat baby ♪ 653 00:23:32,095 --> 00:23:34,220 ♪ Get into my car ♪ 654 00:23:34,303 --> 00:23:35,553 ♪ Beep, beep yeah ♪ 655 00:23:35,637 --> 00:23:37,178 - [elevator dings] - I can't figure it out. 656 00:23:37,261 --> 00:23:38,845 - We had him. - I know. 657 00:23:38,929 --> 00:23:39,845 I know. 658 00:23:39,929 --> 00:23:41,136 I really thought bringing up his son-in-law 659 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,637 would have sealed the deal. 660 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,929 Well, we're out of options. Maybe you're right, Dawn. 661 00:23:44,011 --> 00:23:45,387 Maybe bankruptcy is the safest move. 662 00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:49,136 - It's the only move. - Oh, damn, damn, damn! 663 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,929 Honestly, I had totally come around to your plan. 664 00:23:52,011 --> 00:23:56,261 I mean, fuck bankruptcy and protecting ourselves 665 00:23:56,345 --> 00:23:58,136 from going to prison. 666 00:23:58,220 --> 00:23:59,720 Oh, I just wish there was a way to come up 667 00:23:59,804 --> 00:24:01,053 with 20 mil in a half hour. 668 00:24:01,136 --> 00:24:02,095 Mm. 669 00:24:02,178 --> 00:24:03,553 But I guess we just file bankruptcy 670 00:24:03,637 --> 00:24:04,637 and do it my way. 671 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:05,512 Well, my original way, obviously. 672 00:24:05,595 --> 00:24:07,053 - Yeah. - You know, 673 00:24:07,136 --> 00:24:08,887 before you totally convinced me of the opposite which-- 674 00:24:08,970 --> 00:24:10,011 Whoa. 675 00:24:10,095 --> 00:24:11,261 [Dawn groans] 676 00:24:11,345 --> 00:24:15,220 What if I could get you $25 million 677 00:24:15,303 --> 00:24:17,970 in say, oh, an nower? 678 00:24:18,053 --> 00:24:19,220 I'm saying now, not an hour. 679 00:24:19,303 --> 00:24:20,679 It's just now helps with the-- 680 00:24:20,762 --> 00:24:22,220 - We get it. - If--you get it now. 681 00:24:22,303 --> 00:24:23,553 [Blair] That's so crazy. 682 00:24:23,637 --> 00:24:25,261 Dawn was just saying she wished we could raise 683 00:24:25,345 --> 00:24:26,512 - that kind of money. - No, no, no. 684 00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:27,679 That's not what I said. 685 00:24:27,762 --> 00:24:29,804 I said $20 million in a half hour. 686 00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:32,470 Okay, but this is $25 million now. 687 00:24:32,553 --> 00:24:34,595 - So I think that's better. - Yeah, but it's a misquote. 688 00:24:34,679 --> 00:24:35,804 Okay, well-- 689 00:24:35,887 --> 00:24:38,011 And if I could magically produce this money, 690 00:24:38,095 --> 00:24:40,053 you think you might be able to abra cadabra 691 00:24:40,136 --> 00:24:41,053 old Mo a job? 692 00:24:41,136 --> 00:24:42,804 Well, you do look like a cheap magician. 693 00:24:42,887 --> 00:24:43,762 [laughs] 694 00:24:43,845 --> 00:24:45,011 I mean, I'll take anything, really. 695 00:24:45,095 --> 00:24:46,762 I just want to--wanna get back in the action. 696 00:24:46,845 --> 00:24:48,845 Okay, so if there was some way in hell 697 00:24:48,929 --> 00:24:51,470 you could raise that kind of cash, yeah, sure. 698 00:24:51,553 --> 00:24:53,095 You can have a job. Right, Dawn? 699 00:24:53,178 --> 00:24:53,929 I mean, fuck bankruptcy. 700 00:24:54,011 --> 00:24:55,053 Great. 701 00:24:55,136 --> 00:24:57,220 'Cause there is a huge whale I got by the tail. 702 00:24:57,303 --> 00:24:58,595 Who? 703 00:24:58,679 --> 00:25:00,553 Ah, just an exiled Nigerian prince who needs some help 704 00:25:00,637 --> 00:25:02,095 moving his funds out of the country, 705 00:25:02,178 --> 00:25:04,428 and I'm talking funds by the tons. 706 00:25:04,512 --> 00:25:07,261 Did you ever really plan on getting out of the game? 707 00:25:07,345 --> 00:25:09,178 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 708 00:25:09,261 --> 00:25:10,804 Yes, I did. 709 00:25:10,887 --> 00:25:13,428 [Mo] Dawn, believe me. I really did. 710 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,178 But as I was boarding that plane 711 00:25:15,261 --> 00:25:16,136 to disappear forever, 712 00:25:16,220 --> 00:25:18,053 I had an epiphany. 713 00:25:18,136 --> 00:25:21,637 ♪♪♪ 714 00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:32,345 ♪♪♪ 715 00:25:32,428 --> 00:25:34,136 You look familiar. 716 00:25:34,220 --> 00:25:36,095 Probably from when you left me to die. 717 00:25:36,178 --> 00:25:38,178 - Chacho. - [gunshot] 718 00:25:38,261 --> 00:25:40,512 You cockroach. 719 00:25:40,595 --> 00:25:42,178 [groans] 720 00:25:42,261 --> 00:25:44,470 Agent Caspe, FBI. 721 00:25:44,553 --> 00:25:49,553 ♪♪♪ 722 00:25:51,512 --> 00:25:53,387 I believe you've already met my boss. 723 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:58,720 ♪♪♪ 724 00:26:10,845 --> 00:26:13,553 I told you, I got you. 725 00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:15,762 [Mo] Fuck, Connie! 726 00:26:15,845 --> 00:26:19,470 ♪♪♪ 727 00:26:19,553 --> 00:26:21,095 [Mo] Blair, Dawn, 728 00:26:21,178 --> 00:26:23,595 I would like to introduce you to Prince Dwalu's 729 00:26:23,679 --> 00:26:26,095 American liaison, Miss Adebisi. 730 00:26:26,178 --> 00:26:28,428 Call me Dede. 731 00:26:28,512 --> 00:26:30,970 ♪♪♪ 732 00:26:31,053 --> 00:26:33,762 I understand you're looking for an investor. 733 00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:35,512 Well, I mean, it's not like we're desperate. 734 00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:36,887 14 minutes. 735 00:26:37,011 --> 00:26:39,136 Could we figure something out in the next 14 minutes? 736 00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:40,220 Absolutely. 737 00:26:40,303 --> 00:26:42,553 ♪♪♪ 738 00:26:42,637 --> 00:26:44,261 Alakazam. 739 00:26:44,345 --> 00:26:49,303 ♪♪♪ 740 00:26:56,303 --> 00:26:58,303 [knocking at door] 741 00:27:03,053 --> 00:27:05,387 - Hey, Dawnie. - Mo. 742 00:27:05,470 --> 00:27:06,887 I guess you saved the day. 743 00:27:06,970 --> 00:27:10,553 Uh, yeah, I-- yeah, guess so. 744 00:27:10,637 --> 00:27:12,136 Huh. 745 00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:14,261 How were you so sure we wouldn't get Newell's money? 746 00:27:14,345 --> 00:27:15,762 Well, 'cause I know you, 747 00:27:15,845 --> 00:27:17,887 and you always get what you want. 748 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,679 I mean, in this case you always get what you didn't want. 749 00:27:19,762 --> 00:27:20,804 No, you're right. 750 00:27:20,887 --> 00:27:21,887 I always do get what I didn't want. 751 00:27:21,970 --> 00:27:24,178 So welcome aboard. 752 00:27:24,261 --> 00:27:26,428 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 753 00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:27,970 Glad to be back, boss. 754 00:27:28,053 --> 00:27:30,053 That's right. I am the boss. 755 00:27:30,136 --> 00:27:32,303 This is my fucking company now, Mo. 756 00:27:32,387 --> 00:27:33,470 - I know. - Don't fuck me. 757 00:27:33,553 --> 00:27:35,720 I wouldn't, okay? 758 00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:37,261 Which is why when I bumped into Dede in the club 759 00:27:37,345 --> 00:27:38,595 and she said that her boss had some cash 760 00:27:38,679 --> 00:27:39,845 he needed to invest, 761 00:27:39,929 --> 00:27:42,178 I came to you because you're the fucking boss. 762 00:27:42,261 --> 00:27:45,178 ♪♪♪ 763 00:27:45,261 --> 00:27:46,595 Okay. 764 00:27:46,679 --> 00:27:49,136 Okay. 765 00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:50,845 You wanna come in? 766 00:27:50,929 --> 00:27:52,804 I mean, open a bottle of wine or something? 767 00:27:52,887 --> 00:27:54,345 I could really use somebody to talk to. 768 00:27:54,428 --> 00:27:59,345 ♪♪♪ 769 00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:01,220 Okay. 770 00:28:01,303 --> 00:28:06,345 ♪♪♪