1 00:00:01,470 --> 00:00:02,720 ♪ synth music ♪ 2 00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,894 ♪ singers harmonizing ♪ 3 00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:07,050 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 4 00:00:07,136 --> 00:00:09,426 [Dawn] Previously on Black Monday... 5 00:00:09,512 --> 00:00:11,392 Shit. We got the money. 6 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,390 Wayne was pulling the LaGuardia Spread with the dough. 7 00:00:13,470 --> 00:00:14,930 [Mo] When was the last time you had a good time 8 00:00:15,011 --> 00:00:16,721 - with that white boy? - Wait, you and Mo? 9 00:00:16,804 --> 00:00:18,054 [Mo] The Leighmans would never make a deal 10 00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:20,216 that didn't fuck me over. 11 00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:22,603 [Lenny] We went and acquired 30% of the Jammer Group. 12 00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:25,009 - Dawn let it slip. [Blair] We all have to work 13 00:00:25,095 --> 00:00:26,385 late tonight to do compliance. 14 00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:28,430 [Tiff] You mean a document shred? 15 00:00:28,512 --> 00:00:30,012 [Blair] How'd you know that? [Tiff] Duh! My family's loaded. 16 00:00:30,095 --> 00:00:31,845 You're gay. I know you're gay. 17 00:00:31,929 --> 00:00:34,259 That's fuckin' rich... coming from you. 18 00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:36,045 What? 19 00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:51,045 [snoring] 20 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,183 [coughs] 21 00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:58,178 [coughing] 22 00:00:58,261 --> 00:01:00,051 [whimpers] Wha-- 23 00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:01,926 Aah--Fuck! 24 00:01:02,011 --> 00:01:04,391 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 25 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:06,180 Wayne, my God, man, 26 00:01:06,261 --> 00:01:07,971 who cares what-- You shit on the floor again? 27 00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:10,853 Oh, my God, that's a dead body! 28 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,299 - What the fuck did you do? - I didn't do anything! 29 00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:14,927 You're holding a fucking gun! 30 00:01:15,011 --> 00:01:16,641 - Aah! - [gun clatters] 31 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,350 Please, you gotta help me. 32 00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:19,758 Okay, yeah! 33 00:01:19,845 --> 00:01:22,095 Yeah, you know what? Uh, you go. 34 00:01:22,178 --> 00:01:23,548 I'll--I'll take the fall. Go. 35 00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:25,547 - Really? - Fuck no, you idiot! 36 00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,967 We gotta call the cops! You gotta call the cops. 37 00:01:28,053 --> 00:01:29,643 I'm getting the fuck out of here! 38 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:30,760 Bro, five words. 39 00:01:30,845 --> 00:01:32,505 Spring break, 1981, 40 00:01:32,595 --> 00:01:34,295 Cabo San Puke-as. 41 00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:36,217 You brought home a girl with an Adam's apple, 42 00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:37,553 you were about to get your freak on. 43 00:01:37,637 --> 00:01:40,217 And then, I spotted a mole on your ass. 44 00:01:40,303 --> 00:01:42,973 Doctor said I saved your life that day. 45 00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:44,763 That was more than five words. 46 00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:47,925 ♪ jaunty synth music ♪ 47 00:01:48,011 --> 00:01:49,641 I'm so overwhelmed. 48 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,350 I mean, we don't even have a honeymoon spot. 49 00:01:52,428 --> 00:01:54,798 I mean, Tahiti, Belize, Fiji-- they're all so plain. 50 00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:56,257 Well, I've only been on a plane twice, 51 00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:57,885 so they all sound exciting. 52 00:01:57,970 --> 00:02:00,050 I want someplace that is so exotic and so special 53 00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:01,676 that none of my friends have been there, 54 00:02:01,762 --> 00:02:04,012 like a country that's just been overthrown. 55 00:02:04,095 --> 00:02:05,425 You know, a good coup is like fresh powder 56 00:02:05,512 --> 00:02:06,552 for jet-setters. 57 00:02:06,637 --> 00:02:08,347 Okay. 58 00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,258 What do we think? 59 00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,135 I thought we agreed on the pink shirt. 60 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,180 No, no, no. 61 00:02:14,261 --> 00:02:15,351 Pink's too feminine. 62 00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:16,968 But pink's your favorite color. 63 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,223 Well, favorite colors can change. 64 00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:20,473 From now on, mine's... 65 00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,053 gunmetal gray, 66 00:02:22,136 --> 00:02:23,046 or camo. 67 00:02:23,136 --> 00:02:24,636 Blair, 68 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,350 you're not wearing 69 00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,798 a camouflage shirt to our engagement party, okay? 70 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,597 Page Six is covering this thing. 71 00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:34,049 All the most influential and judgmental 72 00:02:34,136 --> 00:02:35,716 socialites will be there, okay? 73 00:02:35,804 --> 00:02:38,264 Like, mm, oh, I don't know-- Terry Jo Maxx, 74 00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:40,135 heiress to the TJ Maxx fortune, 75 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,390 Condoleeza Nast, Madison Square, 76 00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:45,100 and my best-friend-slash- bitter-rival, Tosh B'Gosh. 77 00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:47,468 Oh, my gosh, Tosh Osh Kosh B'Gosh is coming? 78 00:02:47,553 --> 00:02:49,433 [Tiff] Yes, but remember, don't bring up overalls. 79 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,802 She doesn't have the shoulders. 80 00:02:50,887 --> 00:02:53,177 Blair, this is our official coming out 81 00:02:53,261 --> 00:02:54,141 to Manhattan society. 82 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:56,800 Don't you want to come out? 83 00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:58,467 Sure. B-babe, 84 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,643 maybe did you double up on your Fen-Phen? 85 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,430 'Cause this wedding diet's kind of got you at a ten-ten. 86 00:03:02,512 --> 00:03:04,762 Haven't eaten in four days, but you know what? 87 00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,425 I'm gonna make an exception for tonight, 88 00:03:06,512 --> 00:03:08,012 because Chef Jean-Georges is debuting something 89 00:03:08,095 --> 00:03:09,925 called a lava cake, and oh, mama, 90 00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:12,011 I'm gonna force myself on that fucking cake. 91 00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:14,045 That's a scary way to phrase that. 92 00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:15,636 You know what? I never should've agreed 93 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,140 to let Mo throw this thing, 94 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,930 'cause I'm feeling really out of control. 95 00:03:19,011 --> 00:03:21,051 I'm going. Going over the edge. 96 00:03:21,136 --> 00:03:23,006 - No, no, no, no, no. - I'm going, yeah. 97 00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:24,675 - Mommy. Mommy. - Going. 98 00:03:24,762 --> 00:03:26,642 - Going. I'm gone. - Shh, shh. 99 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,430 It's the groom's family's responsibility 100 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,222 to host the engagement party, 101 00:03:30,303 --> 00:03:33,643 and because my mama is couch-bound and my dad-- 102 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,010 Died of a heart attack while beating you. 103 00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:37,045 We know. 104 00:03:37,136 --> 00:03:38,506 Sorry. 105 00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:39,885 It's okay. 106 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,260 You know what? I-I just need to call Mo 107 00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:43,095 and go over the details one more time. 108 00:03:43,178 --> 00:03:44,218 - [laughs] No. - One more time. 109 00:03:44,303 --> 00:03:45,683 It's 6:00 a.m. 110 00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:47,302 Thought: 111 00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:49,797 what if we postpone the party 112 00:03:49,887 --> 00:03:51,967 because-- - You're-a-gay. 113 00:03:52,053 --> 00:03:52,853 What? 114 00:03:52,929 --> 00:03:53,639 You're-a-gay. 115 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,010 It's so obvious. 116 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:56,965 Uh... [laughing] That's, uh, 117 00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,263 it's not obvious to me. 118 00:03:58,345 --> 00:04:00,545 The country had a revolution four months ago. 119 00:04:00,637 --> 00:04:02,257 This is the perfect sweet spot 120 00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,925 between beaches that are overcrowded 121 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,051 with tourists and corpses. 122 00:04:06,136 --> 00:04:08,216 It's pronounced "yur-u-guai." 123 00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:09,803 Although... 124 00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:11,297 they probably don't speak English, 125 00:04:11,387 --> 00:04:12,797 and I really don't want to, like, work 126 00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,297 on my honeymoon. 127 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,257 Although tell me this doesn't look delish. 128 00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:20,511 [deeply] I'm gonna stick with the white shirt, babe. 129 00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:23,545 ♪ low synth music ♪ 130 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,467 ♪♪ 131 00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:26,933 [chuckling] 132 00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,551 - Hey, babe. - Hey! Oh! 133 00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:30,347 - What you doing? - Well, you know me. 134 00:04:30,428 --> 00:04:32,008 Just stashing condoms 135 00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:33,795 around the house for easy access. 136 00:04:33,887 --> 00:04:35,177 How romantic. 137 00:04:35,261 --> 00:04:38,391 Hey, listen. Speaking of using condoms, 138 00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:40,640 what do you say we... stop using condoms? 139 00:04:42,178 --> 00:04:44,008 Babe, I want to, you know that, 140 00:04:44,095 --> 00:04:46,135 but I just--my horoscope said to lay low, 141 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,100 and don't kids feel like '90s us? 142 00:04:48,178 --> 00:04:50,008 I mean, not to mention the fact that I just bought 143 00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,425 a ton of Trojan stock, 144 00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:53,762 so I'd kind of be working against myself. 145 00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:55,595 Mr. Gorbachev, 146 00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:57,799 tear down that wall. 147 00:04:57,887 --> 00:04:59,007 - Ronald Reagan? - I get it. 148 00:04:59,095 --> 00:05:01,255 My vagina is East Berlin. 149 00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,345 Impossible to come into. 150 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,928 Yeah, no, I'm sorry. 151 00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,431 You know what? It's fine. 152 00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:07,802 Condoms it is. 153 00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:09,757 [sighs] Babe, 154 00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:11,715 listen, no, no. I hear you. 155 00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:13,644 I'm sorry I get all weird with this stuff. 156 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,800 [inhales] 157 00:05:14,887 --> 00:05:18,007 Okay, I'm in. 158 00:05:18,095 --> 00:05:19,545 Fire at will, Captain. 159 00:05:19,637 --> 00:05:22,467 I am an officer and a gentleman. 160 00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:23,513 Mm... 161 00:05:23,595 --> 00:05:25,135 Okay, okay. 162 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:26,550 All right, but as long as we're talking 163 00:05:26,637 --> 00:05:29,137 in movie titles-- Red Dawn. 164 00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:31,390 - Oh. - Yeah. 165 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,890 - Copy that. Okay. - Yeah. [laughs] 166 00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:36,720 [Spencer] But I'm so ready. I'm gonna call my mom. 167 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,724 ♪ low synth music ♪ 168 00:05:39,804 --> 00:05:41,764 [sighs] 169 00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:47,045 ♪♪ 170 00:05:48,303 --> 00:05:49,893 [Mo] All right, Booger Sugarhill Gang, 171 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:51,220 let's jump on it! 172 00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:54,215 Okay. I have been looking 173 00:05:54,303 --> 00:05:57,433 over your accounts, and you motherfuckers... 174 00:05:57,512 --> 00:05:59,052 have been making money! 175 00:05:59,136 --> 00:06:01,756 [Mo] Shit is good. Shit is very good. 176 00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:04,345 So I just wanted to say thank you. 177 00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:05,678 And where's all the cheering and shit? 178 00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,262 All due respect, Momo, 179 00:06:07,345 --> 00:06:08,595 but normally, when you compliment us, 180 00:06:08,679 --> 00:06:10,139 it's just a setup to yell at us 181 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,180 or knock shit out of our hands. 182 00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:12,601 No, that's true, that's true. 183 00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,429 That's fair, but this time, it is real. 184 00:06:14,512 --> 00:06:15,802 This has been our best month ever! 185 00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:16,887 [cheering] 186 00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:18,470 There we go! 187 00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,513 That's more like it, and I gotta say, 188 00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:23,175 it is mostly due to our boy Blair here. 189 00:06:23,261 --> 00:06:24,681 Blair, you been doing incredible work. 190 00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:26,012 Stand up. Take a bow. 191 00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,345 Come on, Blair. Stand up. 192 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,928 [Blair] Ah, 193 00:06:29,011 --> 00:06:30,351 I can't take all the credit. 194 00:06:30,428 --> 00:06:31,468 This wouldn't have been possible 195 00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:33,303 without the help of, uh, 196 00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:35,297 - one very special person. - Aw... 197 00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:36,967 She's become quite a mentor to me. 198 00:06:37,053 --> 00:06:38,473 Hold on, I know I'm cute, but I'm still a he. 199 00:06:38,553 --> 00:06:40,513 Dawn, the advice, 200 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,795 the late nights... 201 00:06:42,887 --> 00:06:44,387 I share this with you. 202 00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,220 Share what? The fuck am I watching here? 203 00:06:46,303 --> 00:06:47,853 Okay, mazel, you two. 204 00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:48,969 - Keep it up, kids. - Wait, wait, wait. 205 00:06:49,053 --> 00:06:50,103 That's it? That's the meeting? 206 00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,968 Oh, hey, Mo. I happen to have 207 00:06:52,053 --> 00:06:53,553 information that Audi-- 208 00:06:53,637 --> 00:06:55,297 Whoa, whoa. Inside information? 209 00:06:55,387 --> 00:06:56,927 Yeah, what am I, a fucking teacher? 210 00:06:57,011 --> 00:06:58,471 [woman] Ha! That's good. - Forget about him. 211 00:06:58,553 --> 00:06:59,803 [Blair] I talked to some of my bros at Wharton. 212 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,887 Audi's about to do a major recall, even bigger 213 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,680 than their last one, when the carpets-- 214 00:07:03,762 --> 00:07:05,722 Didn't match the drapes, am I right, Mo? 215 00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:07,394 What is this, open mic night? Shut the fuck up, Keith. 216 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,010 [Blair] When the carpets were pinning down the gas pedals. 217 00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,845 Multiple fatalities. 218 00:07:11,929 --> 00:07:13,759 - Oh. - Yeah, yeah. 219 00:07:13,845 --> 00:07:15,345 If we short it, we could double our stack in a day. 220 00:07:15,428 --> 00:07:17,718 Yes, let's do that immediately. Okay. 221 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,264 This is what I'm talking about. This kid's a fucking genius, 222 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:20,595 - all right? - Come on. 223 00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:21,929 Set this kid up with anything he needs, 224 00:07:22,011 --> 00:07:23,511 all right, Keith? Great job, son. 225 00:07:23,595 --> 00:07:24,755 You were right. Picking stocks is a lot easier 226 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,925 when you already know what's gonna happen. 227 00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:28,101 - Told you. - [laughs] 228 00:07:29,887 --> 00:07:32,297 Go fuck yourself. All right, everybody. 229 00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,547 Back to work. Let's go. 230 00:07:35,929 --> 00:07:36,929 What's up, Mo? 231 00:07:37,011 --> 00:07:38,141 Ah, nada mooch. 232 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,720 What's up with you? Oh. 233 00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:41,224 Is that your dress for Blair's engagement party? 234 00:07:41,303 --> 00:07:43,553 - It's gorgeous. - Yeah, it's a Mel Bruning. 235 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,757 She's a genius. But I meant "What's up" 236 00:07:45,845 --> 00:07:47,925 as in, you know, what the fuck is up with you? 237 00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:49,601 I don't follow. 238 00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:52,719 Okay, well you've just-- you've been, uh, nice. 239 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,644 - Oh. - You know? 240 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,260 And I expected you to be a huge prick ever since... 241 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,795 You lost a piece of my company to my most hated enemies? 242 00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:00,217 Okay. 243 00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:02,013 [laughs] But, uh... 244 00:08:02,095 --> 00:08:03,885 you know, you said yourself, we've never done better, 245 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,680 and wouldn't you rather the Leighmans 246 00:08:05,762 --> 00:08:08,222 own a piece of us instead of a gang of killers? 247 00:08:08,303 --> 00:08:09,893 I completely agree. 248 00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:11,390 What a cogent argument. 249 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:13,100 Look, Dawn, I'm not trying to be nice. 250 00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,508 I'm just trying to be smart. 251 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,595 I let you and Blair fuck up my mojo, 252 00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:18,139 but it was a good reminder, 253 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:19,180 'cause now I'm gonna be using my little head 254 00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:20,391 instead of my big one. 255 00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:21,890 Don't you mean your big head? 256 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:23,140 Do I? 257 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:24,390 The point is, Dawn, 258 00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:25,930 I don't care about the Leighmans, 259 00:08:26,011 --> 00:08:27,551 I don't care about Blair, 260 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:28,387 definitely don't give a fuck about you anymore. 261 00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,050 I'm just gonna stay focused, 262 00:08:30,136 --> 00:08:32,136 and all I care about is the Georgina play. 263 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,010 Fuck 'em all. 264 00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:36,755 ♪ soft music ♪ 265 00:08:36,845 --> 00:08:38,215 Yeah. 266 00:08:38,303 --> 00:08:40,513 ♪♪ 267 00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,175 [Keith] Hey, look who it is. 268 00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,801 The golden butt boy. 269 00:08:43,887 --> 00:08:45,797 [sighs] Look, I'm just trying to do my job, okay? 270 00:08:45,887 --> 00:08:48,217 Speaking of, I need those Audi puts before you go. 271 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:51,053 Oh, yeah, about that. Um...suck my dick. 272 00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:52,176 Oh, and that's a figure of speech, 273 00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:53,801 not an invitation. 274 00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:54,927 You wish. 275 00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:57,551 You wish. 276 00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:58,597 You wish. 277 00:08:58,679 --> 00:08:59,389 You wish. 278 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:00,760 You wish. 279 00:09:00,845 --> 00:09:01,545 [scoffs] 280 00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,467 You...wish. 281 00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:08,095 I don't know what you think you think about me, 282 00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,348 but it's not true. 283 00:09:09,428 --> 00:09:11,758 I have my engagement party tonight, 284 00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:13,005 to a woman, 285 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:14,345 and I might be falling 286 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,758 for another woman. 287 00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:17,635 Talk about you wishing, but hey, 288 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,800 I hope you're right, because trust me... 289 00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:22,467 you don't want to be me. 290 00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:24,853 Did you just chase Ex-Lax with ipecac? 291 00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:26,679 Bottoms up. 292 00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:30,102 Oh, you should get used to hearing that, by the way. 293 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:30,928 Is that chili? 294 00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:34,351 Mm. Mm. 295 00:09:34,428 --> 00:09:36,298 Cleanup in aisle Blair. 296 00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:39,297 ♪ low synth music ♪ 297 00:09:39,387 --> 00:09:40,797 All right, who is ready 298 00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:42,387 for the Cape? [laughs] 299 00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:43,800 Noah, I hope you brought your mitt, 300 00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,967 'cause I'm bringing the heat like Orel Hershiser. 301 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,643 Bam down the middle! 302 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,600 Rach, underwater tea parties all day long. 303 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,219 And Braddy, those townie girls are about to have 304 00:09:52,303 --> 00:09:54,553 a Hebrew National eating competition, am I right? 305 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,467 - [Shira] Keithy! No. - [Keith laughs] 306 00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:57,933 No. Not appropriate. 307 00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,601 But you know what? Daddy is right. 308 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,049 This is a very big summer for your schmeckle. 309 00:10:01,136 --> 00:10:03,176 You're a man now. Gonna make Mama proud? 310 00:10:03,261 --> 00:10:06,681 I am so excited for a Shanker family road trip. 311 00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:08,142 In just six short hours, we'll be making 312 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,800 s'mores and memories. All right. 313 00:10:09,887 --> 00:10:11,427 ♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 314 00:10:11,512 --> 00:10:12,302 ♪ 99-- ♪ 315 00:10:12,387 --> 00:10:13,847 [retches] 316 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:16,049 [screams] 317 00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,966 [retches] 318 00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:19,763 Oh, my God. 319 00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:21,255 Oh, Keith, are you okay? 320 00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:22,345 Think so. I'm sorry, kids. 321 00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:24,178 That was weird. 322 00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:25,391 Good thing I got a change of clothes right here. 323 00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:27,470 - [retches] - [Shira] Ohh-- 324 00:10:27,553 --> 00:10:30,473 [girl] Mommy! [Noah] Oh, gross! 325 00:10:30,553 --> 00:10:32,303 You know what? I'm thinking maybe 326 00:10:32,387 --> 00:10:33,467 you should stay home. 327 00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:34,723 No, no, I'm feeling better. 328 00:10:34,804 --> 00:10:37,264 Think I got it all out of my system-- 329 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,715 [flatulence] 330 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,184 Oh... 331 00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:44,641 I did it, Mike. Shira and the kids are gone. 332 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,720 Yeah, it wasn't easy, 333 00:10:45,804 --> 00:10:48,554 but, uh, that's why you lease. 334 00:10:48,637 --> 00:10:50,887 I told you, nothing would stop me 335 00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,140 from seeing your Broadway debut as Rusty. 336 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,850 I mean, understudy? 337 00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:56,889 More like over-study, because you're so-- 338 00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:59,760 [loud vomiting] 339 00:10:59,845 --> 00:11:01,425 [gasps, sniffles] 340 00:11:01,512 --> 00:11:02,932 Prepared. 341 00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:05,931 ♪ low synth music ♪ 342 00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:07,261 ♪♪ 343 00:11:07,345 --> 00:11:08,505 [door clatters] 344 00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:10,675 Where the fuck have you been? 345 00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:12,262 It--I--I'm sorry. 346 00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:13,845 Is that a milkshake? 347 00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:16,049 Yeah, I had to spread out my purchases. 348 00:11:16,136 --> 00:11:17,546 Can't just go in a store. "Excuse me. 349 00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:18,717 Can I have some shovels, an axe, 350 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,644 and a gallon of hydrochloric acid? 351 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,970 Better yet, do you have a dead guy cleanup kit? 352 00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:24,763 'Cause my friend's a budding serial killer." 353 00:11:24,845 --> 00:11:26,215 And yes, there happened to be a DQ 354 00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:27,973 near one of the stores, so I got myself 355 00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:29,853 an Oreo-Speedwagon. Sue me. 356 00:11:29,929 --> 00:11:31,639 I'm a serial killer? 357 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,640 You're drinking a Blizzard next to a fucking dead person. 358 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,510 - I didn't kill anybody! - Neither did I! 359 00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:37,755 Why can't we remember anything? 360 00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:39,965 Fuck, man, I don't know, all right? 361 00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:41,973 We were watching WKRP... 362 00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:44,143 - Yeah. - And then we got that pizza. 363 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,180 Then we ordered all that PCP... 364 00:11:46,261 --> 00:11:47,851 [both] Oh. 365 00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:49,969 We did PCP all night. We should've known. 366 00:11:50,053 --> 00:11:52,053 Every time we're about to go too far, 367 00:11:52,136 --> 00:11:53,756 we say "Let's not order PCP," 368 00:11:53,845 --> 00:11:55,595 - and then what do we do? - Order PCP. 369 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,259 - We order PCP! - God damn it! 370 00:11:57,345 --> 00:11:59,465 [Yassir] Okay, this is gonna be all right. 371 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,893 Who's gonna miss one guy? 372 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,301 [Wayne] Yeah, there's, like, a billion people 373 00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:04,717 in the world. It's gonna be fine. 374 00:12:04,804 --> 00:12:06,724 - Motherfuck me! - Oh, come on, y'all! 375 00:12:06,804 --> 00:12:08,104 - [siren whoops] - [brakes screech] 376 00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:09,718 [man] Freeze! This is the police! 377 00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,604 Hands in the air! 378 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,099 [body thuds] 379 00:12:18,303 --> 00:12:20,353 You are very thoughtful, my friend. 380 00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:22,348 Much appreciated. 381 00:12:22,428 --> 00:12:24,718 Okay, okay. Hey. 382 00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:26,224 Hey, hey! 383 00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:27,763 Everybody knows that a champagne tower 384 00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,505 has to be at least six stories tall. 385 00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:31,095 And you have got to be kidding me 386 00:12:31,178 --> 00:12:32,598 if you think you're gonna put that chafing dish 387 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,599 center stage, where the lava cake 388 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:34,719 is supposed to live. 389 00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:36,104 Swap that shit out. 390 00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,848 Bride-to-be is very particular. 391 00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:39,549 I'm sorry, Mo. I know Tiff can be a little-- 392 00:12:39,637 --> 00:12:40,757 Great. She can be great. 393 00:12:40,845 --> 00:12:41,885 That's what she is. 394 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,680 - [laughs] - Right? 395 00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,262 I love anybody who knows exactly what they want. 396 00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:46,635 - Don't you? - Oh, totally. 397 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,300 - All right. - [slurping] 398 00:12:48,387 --> 00:12:50,097 Are you okay, Blair? I mean, you didn't even dump 399 00:12:50,178 --> 00:12:51,638 any fruit punch in that vodka. 400 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,430 Yeah, no, I'm-- yeah, no, I'm good. 401 00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:55,302 Yeah, I'm just a little overwhelmed 402 00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:56,757 and confused. 403 00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:58,635 Conwhelmed. Overfused. 404 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,510 [laughs] There's not really a sniglet for it. 405 00:13:00,595 --> 00:13:02,465 Motherfucker, what did you just say? 406 00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:04,643 Sniglet. It's when you take two words 407 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,680 and combine them to make one hilarious word, 408 00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:08,642 like, uh, "snack-mosphere." 409 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,930 It's the pocket of air inside of a chip bag. 410 00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:12,801 Oh, okay, that is hilarious. 411 00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:14,217 - [laughs] - At first, I thought you said 412 00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:15,763 something that made me want to stab you. 413 00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:17,045 - Oh, God, no, never. - Okay. 414 00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:18,176 If there's one thing that I know 415 00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:19,351 from the hundreds of calls 416 00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:20,638 and faxes and Post-Its 417 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,100 that I got from Tiff, 418 00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:23,428 it's that she's passionate. 419 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,142 Okay? She loves hard, 420 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:26,470 and she loves you. 421 00:13:26,553 --> 00:13:28,263 Oh, she's something. [chuckles] 422 00:13:28,345 --> 00:13:29,425 [slurping] 423 00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,392 Um, speaking of sniglets, 424 00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,600 Tiff's parents can be... ooh, uh... 425 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,219 what's the best way to say this? 426 00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:36,263 Horribly racist? 427 00:13:36,345 --> 00:13:37,965 Oh, circle gets the square. 428 00:13:38,053 --> 00:13:39,763 - [both laugh] - Oh, and that reminds me. 429 00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:41,675 when I was shredding, I came across 430 00:13:41,762 --> 00:13:44,472 some Georgina documents. Would you have any idea why-- 431 00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,433 The--the... 432 00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:50,683 I've got to get the DJ to play some The The. 433 00:13:50,762 --> 00:13:52,552 [laughing] I love those guys. 434 00:13:52,637 --> 00:13:55,887 [Mo] Ah, Georgina documents. Yeah, um, I think that 435 00:13:55,970 --> 00:13:58,010 maybe we purchased some Georgina shares 436 00:13:58,095 --> 00:13:59,965 back in the day to, you know, offset our capital gains. 437 00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:02,473 Aha! 438 00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:05,303 Ask the DJ if he has any A-ha, 'cause I like those guys, too. 439 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,427 I'm on it. 440 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,052 [laughs] Hey, Blair? 441 00:14:08,136 --> 00:14:09,966 You might want to slow down a little bit. 442 00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:11,893 - Take it easy. - Take it easy, Mo. 443 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,643 Where's my waiter friend? 444 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,430 - Thank you for coming with me. - Ha, well, you owe me. 445 00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:20,892 I know, but baby, for the last time, 446 00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,890 Mo is, and has always been, 447 00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:24,850 just my boss, okay? 448 00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:25,969 Okay. 449 00:14:26,053 --> 00:14:27,933 - Okay. [laughs] - Okay, I guess. 450 00:14:28,011 --> 00:14:29,351 [Jackie] Honey, you didn't tell me 451 00:14:29,428 --> 00:14:30,298 you hired a band. 452 00:14:30,387 --> 00:14:32,007 [Jackie] How fun! 453 00:14:32,095 --> 00:14:34,175 Hey, you know any Weird Al Yankovic? 454 00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:36,391 - Oh, Eat It . Yeah, big fan. - No, we're not a band. 455 00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:38,390 [Tiff] No, this is Dawn. Dawn works with Blair. 456 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,510 Oh, hey, nice to meet you, Don. 457 00:14:40,595 --> 00:14:42,255 Actually, I'm Dawn. 458 00:14:42,345 --> 00:14:43,845 Oh, you're Dawn? 459 00:14:43,929 --> 00:14:45,759 Mo won't shut up about you. 460 00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,545 You really messed him up, girl. 461 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,757 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 462 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,095 You are thinking of another Dawn. 463 00:14:51,178 --> 00:14:52,718 - [Spencer] Sure. - [Dawn] Another Don, 464 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:53,974 - who is a man. - [Suki] Really? 465 00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:56,353 Then why did Mo buy me this dress? 466 00:14:59,512 --> 00:15:02,012 - This is my husband, Spencer. - Mm-hmm. 467 00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:03,595 You're black? Huh. 468 00:15:03,679 --> 00:15:05,009 Mo always calls you "white boy." 469 00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:05,965 Really? 470 00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:07,893 I'm Suki, Mo's date... 471 00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:09,180 for the night. 472 00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:10,971 - [elevator dings] - Ladies. 473 00:15:11,053 --> 00:15:12,143 After you, Henri. 474 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,970 ♪ low synth music ♪ 475 00:15:15,053 --> 00:15:16,683 ♪♪ 476 00:15:16,762 --> 00:15:18,852 [cheers and applause] 477 00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:20,849 [laughs] Hey. Hi. 478 00:15:20,929 --> 00:15:22,429 [Keith] How you doing? - Uh, yes. 479 00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:24,432 Right, let's cross. 480 00:15:24,512 --> 00:15:26,602 - Hey. - [laughs softly] 481 00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:28,889 Your voice is amazing, all right? 482 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,100 I mean, seriously, you're a triple threat. 483 00:15:31,178 --> 00:15:32,848 You can sing and you can dance and you don't fall down. 484 00:15:32,929 --> 00:15:34,049 Come on, let's go back to my house and celebrate. 485 00:15:34,136 --> 00:15:35,596 I think it's aired out by now, so-- 486 00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,759 Great, great, but actually, 487 00:15:36,845 --> 00:15:37,715 everyone's going to my place, 488 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,394 so let's do that first, 489 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:41,220 and then we can go sleep at your place after. 490 00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:43,433 Or we skip your place and just come back to my place 491 00:15:43,512 --> 00:15:45,222 and, uh, have some gay sex. 492 00:15:45,303 --> 00:15:47,053 [quietly] Okay, so we've been over this. 493 00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:49,296 You can just call it sex. Now come on. 494 00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:51,047 I want to show my friends my little Keither Sutherland. 495 00:15:51,136 --> 00:15:52,926 I know, but what if someone I know sees me? 496 00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:54,471 Well, if they're at my party, 497 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,013 they're probably a friend of Dorothy's, so... 498 00:15:56,095 --> 00:15:58,345 - Now come on. - No, I can't, I can't. 499 00:15:58,428 --> 00:15:59,888 Okay? Just... 500 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:00,850 come with me. Come back to my-- 501 00:16:00,929 --> 00:16:02,929 - No. Keith... - What? 502 00:16:03,011 --> 00:16:05,011 This is a really big night for me, 503 00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:07,595 and I want to celebrate it with my friends, 504 00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:09,639 my cast-mates, and my boyfriend. 505 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,890 But if you can't do that, why don't you just go out 506 00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:14,011 with your Wall Street buddies? 507 00:16:16,637 --> 00:16:18,097 Except for the tiny hiccup 508 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,138 when Mo's date guessed my dad's name, 509 00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:21,970 this is going well. 510 00:16:22,053 --> 00:16:23,603 I gotta hand it to me. 511 00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:25,639 I really pulled this out of Mo's ass. 512 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,220 I love you too, babe. 513 00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:30,263 Oh, don't look now, but Mo and my parents 514 00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:32,095 are actually getting along. 515 00:16:32,178 --> 00:16:33,548 [Mo] And that's how the band got the name The Downbeats. 516 00:16:33,637 --> 00:16:35,637 [laughter] 517 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,390 You're a regular Red Buttons. 518 00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:38,640 More like a Redd Foxx! 519 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,050 More like a Black Panther! 520 00:16:40,136 --> 00:16:42,386 [laughter] 521 00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:44,100 [Mo] Hey, by the way, 522 00:16:44,178 --> 00:16:45,968 what the fuck is up with the guy behind us? 523 00:16:46,053 --> 00:16:47,723 I mean, you think I'm gonna boost 524 00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:48,934 my own silverware, you big bigots? 525 00:16:49,011 --> 00:16:49,971 - [Jackie] Oh, what? No. - [Henri] What? 526 00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:52,223 No. Just between us, uh... 527 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,723 we've had some threats, uh, with Tiffany. 528 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,394 [Henri] Uh, ever since Calvin Klein's daughter 529 00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:57,720 was kidnapped. 530 00:16:57,804 --> 00:16:59,474 Well, that makes sense, 531 00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,603 because both of your families have such great genes. 532 00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:02,889 [laughs] 533 00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,140 [Henri] He's good! 534 00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:07,800 Yeah, it's actually quite serious. 535 00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:09,097 Mm-hmm. 536 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:11,258 What's up, ho? Cute party. 537 00:17:11,345 --> 00:17:14,095 [gasps] Hey, hos! Blair, 538 00:17:14,178 --> 00:17:15,678 you remember Tosh B'Gosh, 539 00:17:15,762 --> 00:17:17,682 Bunny Bartles, Kayla James. 540 00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,432 Thank you for your support. 541 00:17:19,512 --> 00:17:21,432 Bartles & Jaymes? That's your slogan, right? 542 00:17:21,512 --> 00:17:22,602 Yeah, we get that a lot. 543 00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:24,259 So champ's over there. 544 00:17:24,345 --> 00:17:26,465 I won't even tell you the year. '77, oops. 545 00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:29,143 Over here, we've got surf 'n' turf 'n' earth 'n' birth-- 546 00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:30,850 lobster, filet, truffles, caviar. 547 00:17:30,929 --> 00:17:32,549 And for dessert, Chef Jean-Georges 548 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,757 has whipped up a culinary miracle: 549 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,795 solid outside, liquid inside lava cake. 550 00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:39,047 But it's fat-free, right? 551 00:17:39,136 --> 00:17:40,046 'Cause I'm on the grapefruit diet. 552 00:17:40,136 --> 00:17:41,006 Cabbage soup. 553 00:17:41,095 --> 00:17:42,755 Lean Cuisine and purge. 554 00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:44,345 Does this place have a microwave and toilet? 555 00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:46,548 Speaking of, Tiff, it's so great 556 00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:48,717 that you didn't do the whole extreme wedding diet thing. 557 00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:51,354 You look so healthy. 558 00:17:51,428 --> 00:17:52,388 Shut up, ho. 559 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:54,180 You shut up, ho! 560 00:17:54,261 --> 00:17:57,181 Why don't you shut your faces, you fucking whores? 561 00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:00,183 Come on, girls. I've got the one sugar 562 00:18:00,261 --> 00:18:02,891 we all still love-- booger. 563 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,930 [Tosh] What's with the hotel room? 564 00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:06,851 Is it like an after-party theme? 565 00:18:06,929 --> 00:18:08,349 [Tiff] No, Blair's dad's dead and his mom's fat, 566 00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:09,968 so it's a whole thing. 567 00:18:10,053 --> 00:18:12,763 [Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon" playing] 568 00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:14,505 ♪♪ 569 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,715 ♪ Is it loving in your eyes ♪ 570 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,554 ♪ All the way ♪ 571 00:18:19,637 --> 00:18:21,757 ♪ If I listen to your lies ♪ 572 00:18:21,845 --> 00:18:24,845 ♪ Would you say ♪ 573 00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:29,349 ♪ I'm a man without conviction ♪ 574 00:18:29,428 --> 00:18:32,218 ♪ I'm a man ♪ 575 00:18:32,303 --> 00:18:34,763 ♪ Who doesn't know ♪ 576 00:18:34,845 --> 00:18:37,545 ♪ How to sell ♪ 577 00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:40,007 ♪ A contradiction ♪ 578 00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:42,755 ♪ You come and go ♪ 579 00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:46,425 ♪ You come and go ♪ 580 00:18:46,512 --> 00:18:48,012 ♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma ♪ 581 00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:50,675 ♪ Karma chameleon ♪ 582 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,722 [upbeat music playing] 583 00:18:53,804 --> 00:18:58,474 ♪♪ 584 00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:00,013 Look, do you just want to go? 585 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,675 Why? So you can lie to me in the cab 586 00:19:02,762 --> 00:19:04,932 about how I didn't definitely hear what I just heard? 587 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,431 [sighs] Fine, Mo and I dated, okay? 588 00:19:08,512 --> 00:19:12,222 But for a very short time a very long time ago. 589 00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:14,303 I wanted to tell you, but I--I--I--I couldn't, 590 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,297 because I knew you would make me choose 591 00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:18,927 between you and my work, 592 00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:21,391 and I shouldn't have to make that choice. 593 00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,550 Well, 594 00:19:23,637 --> 00:19:25,347 now you do. 595 00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:27,508 You can have me or you can have him. 596 00:19:27,595 --> 00:19:30,425 - Spence, how-- - [Mo] Hey, hey. Ha ha! 597 00:19:30,512 --> 00:19:31,972 Look at the two of you. 598 00:19:32,053 --> 00:19:33,223 Like mind meld, right? 599 00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:34,683 Oh, my goodness, indeed. 600 00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,852 - Uh, Sucky, right? - It's Suki. 601 00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:38,599 - Oh, is it? - [Mo] Come on. 602 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,719 Every guy in here's wearing damn near the same thing. 603 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,184 I mean, you don't see us being 604 00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:44,351 all upset about it, right, Spence? 605 00:19:44,428 --> 00:19:46,298 Yeah, don't be upset. 606 00:19:46,387 --> 00:19:49,097 Just be happy that Mo bought us both these dresses. 607 00:19:49,178 --> 00:19:50,798 Mo didn't buy this dress or me. 608 00:19:50,887 --> 00:19:52,467 ♪♪ 609 00:19:52,553 --> 00:19:53,643 Okay... 610 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,680 [sighs] 611 00:19:58,512 --> 00:20:01,512 [Blair, drunkenly] ♪ Amazing Blair ♪ 612 00:20:01,595 --> 00:20:03,505 ♪ How drunk I--♪ 613 00:20:03,595 --> 00:20:05,425 [Dawn] Hello? 614 00:20:05,512 --> 00:20:06,642 [laughs] 615 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,640 Hey, pretty lady. 616 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,550 Ah, hey. 617 00:20:09,637 --> 00:20:11,597 Rough night? 618 00:20:11,679 --> 00:20:13,889 Oof. Yeah. 619 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:14,760 You? 620 00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,885 Mm. 621 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:19,050 I've been lying to Spencer. 622 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:23,045 I've been lying to myself. 623 00:20:23,136 --> 00:20:23,926 [laughs] 624 00:20:24,011 --> 00:20:27,801 [both laugh] 625 00:20:27,887 --> 00:20:29,137 Take it easy, Spencer. 626 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,300 Don't tell me to take it easy. 627 00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,927 I know you steal for a living, 628 00:20:32,011 --> 00:20:33,181 but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you 629 00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:35,141 steal my girl, motherfucker! 630 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,100 Spence, maybe could we do this outside? 631 00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:39,548 I would love to do this outside. 632 00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:41,347 [Mo] Spence, this party is about Tiff and Blair, 633 00:20:41,428 --> 00:20:42,928 - [Mo] not Dawn and me. - Blair? Blair? 634 00:20:43,011 --> 00:20:44,801 Here, boy! [whistles] 635 00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:46,387 Oh, my God. Blair! 636 00:20:46,470 --> 00:20:48,350 Just tell me what to do. 637 00:20:48,428 --> 00:20:50,178 You're so smart and so together, 638 00:20:50,261 --> 00:20:52,931 and I trust you more than I trust myself right now. 639 00:20:53,011 --> 00:20:55,681 Mm, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me 640 00:20:55,762 --> 00:20:58,102 in a long time. 641 00:20:58,178 --> 00:21:00,218 And the dumbest. 642 00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:02,143 Blair, I don't have shit together, 643 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,890 but if you're asking me if you should marry Tiff-- 644 00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,180 [knock on door] 645 00:21:06,261 --> 00:21:08,101 - [Tiff] Blair! - Oh, boy. 646 00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,598 - Okay, shush, shush, shush. - Go, go, go, go, go, go. 647 00:21:10,679 --> 00:21:13,929 Whoa! Who's this lady? 648 00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,471 [Tiff] You asshole. 649 00:21:15,553 --> 00:21:17,393 While you've been in here, getting shitfaced, 650 00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,260 our reputation's out there, getting butt-fucked 651 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,595 in front of a live studio audience. 652 00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:21,969 - Get up. - Okay. 653 00:21:22,053 --> 00:21:23,303 - Get up! - Okay, okay. 654 00:21:23,387 --> 00:21:24,717 - [whack] - Oh! Okay, look. 655 00:21:24,804 --> 00:21:26,764 I'm s--I'm bad at parties. 656 00:21:26,845 --> 00:21:28,545 No, you're bad at me! Okay, all you had to do 657 00:21:28,637 --> 00:21:31,387 was show up and smile, and you couldn't even do that. 658 00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:33,720 After everything I have put up with-- 659 00:21:33,804 --> 00:21:35,394 shitty apartments, the lonely nights-- 660 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,600 I tried everything to make this work, 661 00:21:37,679 --> 00:21:39,179 because I love you. 662 00:21:39,261 --> 00:21:41,471 You're the only one who even liked me 663 00:21:41,553 --> 00:21:44,263 in spite of my name, not because of it, okay? 664 00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,845 And now I don't even know if you like me at all anymore. 665 00:21:47,929 --> 00:21:49,719 Do you even want to get married? Huh? 666 00:21:49,804 --> 00:21:51,934 ♪♪ 667 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,641 [sighs] 668 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,850 Uh... 669 00:21:55,929 --> 00:21:57,509 Oh, come on, Tiffany! 670 00:21:59,387 --> 00:22:00,547 [Mo] Listen, Spencer, 671 00:22:00,637 --> 00:22:02,597 I don't want your girl, okay? 672 00:22:02,679 --> 00:22:04,139 In fact, I don't ever want to see her again, 673 00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:05,640 which is why after we wrap up 674 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,390 these last few deals we got, I'm gonna ship her off 675 00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:08,850 to the Leighman Brothers' satellite office 676 00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:10,009 in Connecticut. 677 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,715 - Bullshit. - It's true. 678 00:22:11,804 --> 00:22:13,054 She'll never go for that. She'll quit. 679 00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:14,546 Exactly. 680 00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,637 You want her home. I want her gone. 681 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,640 Win-win. 682 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,050 [Blair] Tiff, Tiff, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 683 00:22:20,136 --> 00:22:21,926 Please, please, just talk to me, baby, come on. 684 00:22:22,011 --> 00:22:23,431 - [Blair] Where're you going? - [Mo] No, no, no, no, no, no. 685 00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:24,642 [Tiff] No. - Kids, kids, Tiff--Tiff-- 686 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,600 W-d-wha-hey! Live from New York, 687 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,679 it is Friday night, with your musical guest, 688 00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:32,182 DJ Brian--you have a terrible fucking name-- 689 00:22:32,261 --> 00:22:34,511 and your host, me. [laughs] 690 00:22:34,595 --> 00:22:37,755 But I wanted to say, uh, thank you all for coming. 691 00:22:37,845 --> 00:22:39,505 It's a--it's a wonderful occasion. 692 00:22:39,595 --> 00:22:41,965 [Mo] Tiff there, Blair here, right? 693 00:22:42,053 --> 00:22:43,393 It's great? Um... 694 00:22:43,470 --> 00:22:44,850 Blair wants to say a few words. 695 00:22:44,929 --> 00:22:46,389 - No, no. - Yes, to his soulmate. 696 00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:48,890 [Mo] To his little love-bunny, Tiff. 697 00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:50,430 So go ahead and take it away. 698 00:22:50,512 --> 00:22:53,012 [Blair] Uh, thank you, Mo. 699 00:22:53,095 --> 00:22:55,925 I guess I should take a minute to...say how I feel. 700 00:22:56,011 --> 00:22:57,641 Oh, yeah. Let's do that. 701 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,350 The truth is... 702 00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:02,298 ♪ mournful synth music ♪ 703 00:23:02,387 --> 00:23:04,467 ♪♪ 704 00:23:04,553 --> 00:23:05,763 The truth is... 705 00:23:05,845 --> 00:23:10,755 ♪♪ 706 00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,465 The truth is... 707 00:23:16,553 --> 00:23:18,013 Help, help, help, help, help, help! Help! 708 00:23:18,095 --> 00:23:19,595 - [commotion] - [Henri] Get Tiffany. 709 00:23:19,679 --> 00:23:20,929 - [woman screams] - [Yassir] I'm sorry, sorry-- 710 00:23:21,011 --> 00:23:22,551 - [both] Ughh! - [crowd] Ohh! 711 00:23:22,637 --> 00:23:24,297 What's happening? What's happening? 712 00:23:24,387 --> 00:23:26,467 No! We didn't know where else to go. 713 00:23:26,553 --> 00:23:28,303 We did a bad thing. I think it's time to break out 714 00:23:28,387 --> 00:23:31,097 those Mayor Koch photos in your safe! 715 00:23:31,178 --> 00:23:32,048 Everyone on the ground now! 716 00:23:32,136 --> 00:23:34,096 [all scream] 717 00:23:34,178 --> 00:23:35,718 I'm okay, everybody! 718 00:23:35,804 --> 00:23:37,854 - [everybody screams] - [Tiff] Oh! 719 00:23:37,929 --> 00:23:39,929 [gasps] It's warm! 720 00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:41,971 It's lukewarm! 721 00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:43,553 Oh, shit. 722 00:23:43,637 --> 00:23:45,717 E-e-everybody just calm down. Calm down. 723 00:23:45,804 --> 00:23:47,184 - Whoa! - You'll never take me alive! 724 00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:48,601 [click] [all scream] 725 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,010 [click] [all gasp] 726 00:23:51,095 --> 00:23:52,505 [gun clicking] 727 00:23:52,595 --> 00:23:54,845 - [Mo laughs] - What the fuck? 728 00:23:54,929 --> 00:23:56,849 [laughs] 729 00:23:56,929 --> 00:23:57,929 Got you! 730 00:23:58,011 --> 00:23:59,431 Yeah, yeah! 731 00:23:59,512 --> 00:24:01,142 Oh, my God, that got dark, right? 732 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,100 You just got pranked, asshole. 733 00:24:03,178 --> 00:24:04,928 The cops have been following us for miles. 734 00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:07,261 Those aren't cops. They're fucking actors. 735 00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:09,135 Brendan books a pilot every year. 736 00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:10,300 - [Mo] Great job, guys. - [mouthing] Thank you. 737 00:24:10,387 --> 00:24:12,547 What about the dead bodies? 738 00:24:12,637 --> 00:24:14,177 Those are cadavers. I rented them from the morgue. 739 00:24:14,261 --> 00:24:17,891 Mo, this is so fucking... 740 00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:19,510 nasty! 741 00:24:19,595 --> 00:24:21,715 - [laughs] - [Yassir] God, you got us. 742 00:24:21,804 --> 00:24:23,394 [Mo] Look, no, what's fucking nasty 743 00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:24,890 is your tried to run the LaGuardia Spread 744 00:24:24,970 --> 00:24:26,850 with my money, that you gave him. 745 00:24:26,929 --> 00:24:29,009 Payback's a bitch, and I'm the son of one. 746 00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:30,505 - Classic Mo. - [Blair] Tiff, are you 747 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:32,715 all right? I'm sorry. 748 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,854 - Okay. - [sobs] 749 00:24:34,929 --> 00:24:36,469 [tearfully] I'm going home. - [Blair] Come on, I-I'm sorry. 750 00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:37,933 [Spencer] We are too. 751 00:24:38,011 --> 00:24:39,471 Come on, Dawn. We're leaving. 752 00:24:39,553 --> 00:24:41,553 I'm gonna meet you at the house, okay? 753 00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:43,007 No. What? No, we are leaving. 754 00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:45,345 - Let's go. - No, babe-- 755 00:24:45,428 --> 00:24:46,598 Hey, Spencer, don't grab her. 756 00:24:46,679 --> 00:24:47,889 Mind your fucking business. 757 00:24:47,970 --> 00:24:49,140 Girl, let's go. Let's go. 758 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,600 - I said let's go! - Ouch! 759 00:24:50,679 --> 00:24:51,599 - Stop playing with me--what? - Hey! 760 00:24:51,679 --> 00:24:53,549 Mo! Damn it. Mo! 761 00:24:53,637 --> 00:24:54,467 - Hey, hey, I fights dirty! - Spencer, stop! 762 00:24:54,553 --> 00:24:56,473 - I fight dirty. - No. 763 00:24:56,553 --> 00:24:58,513 You're so lucky I work with my hands. 764 00:25:00,136 --> 00:25:01,966 So this is it? 765 00:25:02,053 --> 00:25:04,053 You're gonna stay here with him? 766 00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:06,426 He's gonna move you to Leighman's office 767 00:25:06,512 --> 00:25:09,012 in Connecticut so you'll quit. 768 00:25:09,095 --> 00:25:10,675 ♪ melancholy music ♪ 769 00:25:10,762 --> 00:25:12,472 Yep. 770 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,183 You two deserve each other. 771 00:25:14,261 --> 00:25:15,801 I'll see you again, sucker punch. 772 00:25:15,887 --> 00:25:17,847 ♪♪ 773 00:25:17,929 --> 00:25:19,679 [sighs] 774 00:25:19,762 --> 00:25:20,802 Is that true, Mo? 775 00:25:22,762 --> 00:25:26,392 Um, which part? 776 00:25:26,470 --> 00:25:31,550 ♪♪ 777 00:25:37,261 --> 00:25:39,801 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 778 00:25:39,887 --> 00:25:41,507 - [murmurs] - ♪ Put on your red shoes 779 00:25:41,595 --> 00:25:43,755 ♪ And dance the blues ♪ 780 00:25:43,845 --> 00:25:45,175 ♪♪ 781 00:25:45,261 --> 00:25:48,051 Oh, my God. 782 00:25:48,136 --> 00:25:50,256 - Keith? - [chuckles] 783 00:25:50,345 --> 00:25:52,425 - Wow. - [Keith] You like? 784 00:25:52,512 --> 00:25:53,432 Wow. 785 00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:55,012 I didn't know what to wear. 786 00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,595 Yeah, I can tell. 787 00:25:56,679 --> 00:25:58,099 Yeah, you're a winter, not a spring, 788 00:25:58,178 --> 00:26:00,138 - but you look cute. - You like it? 789 00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:01,850 Oh, my God, did you pierce your ear 790 00:26:01,929 --> 00:26:03,509 - with your tie pin? - Yeah, a lot of blood, 791 00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,795 and then even more blood when I realized I pierced 792 00:26:05,887 --> 00:26:07,387 - the wrong one first. - You pierced the wrong one. 793 00:26:07,470 --> 00:26:08,850 - It's a lot of rules. - Yeah. 794 00:26:08,929 --> 00:26:11,299 Fuck it. Let's dance. 795 00:26:11,387 --> 00:26:14,887 ♪ If you say run ♪ 796 00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:17,010 ♪ I'll run with you ♪ 797 00:26:17,095 --> 00:26:20,385 ♪♪ 798 00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:23,220 ♪ And if you say hide ♪ 799 00:26:23,303 --> 00:26:24,853 ♪ We'll hide ♪ 800 00:26:24,929 --> 00:26:28,139 ♪♪ 801 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:29,800 - Fun party. - Mm. 802 00:26:29,887 --> 00:26:32,387 Happy wife, happy life. 803 00:26:32,470 --> 00:26:33,970 [mutters] 804 00:26:34,053 --> 00:26:36,013 ♪♪ 805 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,715 Party's over, Scarface! 806 00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:38,684 No! No, no, no! Wait! What's happening? 807 00:26:38,762 --> 00:26:40,262 Why are you doing this? 808 00:26:40,345 --> 00:26:44,675 ♪ Tremble like a flower ♪ 809 00:26:44,762 --> 00:26:46,142 [elevator dings] 810 00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:47,640 [Blair] Hey. 811 00:26:48,804 --> 00:26:50,264 Hey. 812 00:26:50,345 --> 00:26:51,215 Hey. 813 00:26:51,303 --> 00:26:53,053 Did you just see the... 814 00:26:54,261 --> 00:26:56,051 Dawn, I'm really confused right now. 815 00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:58,886 ♪♪ 816 00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:00,850 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 817 00:27:00,929 --> 00:27:02,429 Ooh, bad news, Shi-shi. 818 00:27:02,512 --> 00:27:04,222 Yeah, Doc says I gotta be on bed rest. 819 00:27:04,303 --> 00:27:05,683 I know, and I so wanted to be there 820 00:27:05,762 --> 00:27:07,432 with you and the kids, 821 00:27:07,512 --> 00:27:08,722 and you know how much I love your parents, 822 00:27:08,804 --> 00:27:10,394 but, uh-- [inhales sharply, sighs]-- 823 00:27:10,470 --> 00:27:11,890 I just gotta stay here. 824 00:27:11,970 --> 00:27:13,220 What? 825 00:27:13,303 --> 00:27:14,893 Music? Uh... 826 00:27:14,970 --> 00:27:16,850 Yeah, it's fucking Friday. In the yard, 827 00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:18,599 there's ghetto-blasters everywhere. 828 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,099 Look, babe, I gotta go. I'm--I'm feeling sick. 829 00:27:20,178 --> 00:27:21,928 [imitates retching] 830 00:27:22,011 --> 00:27:24,051 [laughs] 831 00:27:24,136 --> 00:27:25,966 A little white lie never hurt anybody. 832 00:27:26,053 --> 00:27:27,513 [laughs] 833 00:27:27,595 --> 00:27:29,255 What other lies have you told, Keith? 834 00:27:29,345 --> 00:27:30,295 ♪♪ 835 00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:31,797 Who the fuck are you? 836 00:27:31,887 --> 00:27:33,927 - I'm Agent Missy Mills. - Deb Fox. 837 00:27:34,011 --> 00:27:35,721 [Missy] We're with the SEC. 838 00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:38,014 That's Securities and Exchange Commission. 839 00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:40,215 [Deb] You've been a bad boy, haven't you, Keith? 840 00:27:40,303 --> 00:27:42,643 We'll be in touch. 841 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,140 Don't leave town. 842 00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:47,100 ♪ Into my arms ♪ 843 00:27:47,178 --> 00:27:51,508 ♪ And tremble like a flower ♪ 844 00:27:51,595 --> 00:27:56,675 ♪♪ 845 00:28:05,345 --> 00:28:07,595 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 846 00:28:07,679 --> 00:28:09,429 ♪ Put on your red shoes ♪ 847 00:28:09,512 --> 00:28:13,262 ♪ And dance the blues ♪ 848 00:28:13,345 --> 00:28:15,845 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 849 00:28:15,929 --> 00:28:19,549 ♪ Under the moonlight ♪ 850 00:28:19,637 --> 00:28:22,257 ♪ The serious moonlight ♪ 851 00:28:22,345 --> 00:28:27,465 ♪♪