1 00:00:05,083 --> 00:00:07,133 ♪ It's showtime tonight ♪ 2 00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:34,540 ♪ Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five's "The Message" ♪ 3 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:09,575 ♪ tense music ♪ 4 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:42,793 ♪ Run-D.M.C.'s "Hard Times" ♪ 5 00:02:10,792 --> 00:02:11,792 ♪ Hard times... ♪ 6 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:14,245 Wait, Blair. 7 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,133 - Wear this. - What? 8 00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,578 For good luck on your interviews. 9 00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,747 speaking foreign language 10 00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:23,044 ...motherfucker. 11 00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,330 ♪ You're stuck on the ground... ♪ 12 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:29,787 - Go get 'em! I love you. 13 00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:30,915 - Here you go. - Thank you. 14 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,380 Five large. 15 00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,578 Now, you be sure to tell Page Six 16 00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:36,457 that I knocked the glaze off that doughnut. 17 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:37,672 - Mmm. - Okay? 18 00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:43,539 Kyle. 19 00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:45,785 - Want to do some cocaine? 20 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:46,665 Fantastic. 21 00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:53,877 Ooh-whee! There she go! God damn! 22 00:02:53,959 --> 00:02:55,629 Yo, mama, where you going? 23 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,329 Fucking dyke! 24 00:02:58,417 --> 00:02:59,747 ♪ They tell you times are tough... ♪ 25 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,329 ♪ But when you work for the ace ♪ 26 00:03:05,417 --> 00:03:07,247 ♪ You know you pulled the right card ♪ 27 00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,253 ♪ Hard times got my pockets ♪ 28 00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:10,133 ♪ All in chains ♪ 29 00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:12,918 ♪ I'll tell you what, homeboy ♪ 30 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,960 ♪ It don't have my brain ♪ 31 00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:18,461 ♪ All day I have to work at my peak ♪ 32 00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:22,922 ♪ Because I need that dollar ♪ every day of the week ♪ 33 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,830 ♪ Hard times ♪ 34 00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:31,747 ♪ Hard times ♪ 35 00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:38,962 Georgina. 36 00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:44,165 It is my 39th birthday, and that is what I want. 37 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:45,580 No "problemo," Mo. 38 00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:47,707 I'll get a B-cup down here by 9:45 39 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,882 or now if, uh, Dawn is willing. 40 00:03:49,959 --> 00:03:51,499 - Wow, you know what? 41 00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:53,293 I'm really surprised a ladies' man such as yourself 42 00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:54,705 doesn't know his cups. 43 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,292 - These are Cs, baby. - Ooh! 44 00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,665 These right here-- these are Bs. 45 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,750 Who wants to come titty-fuck Keith? 46 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:04,543 Dawn's on the board. 47 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,495 But, no, I want the company. 48 00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:08,833 Georgina Jeans currently does all of its manufacturing 49 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:10,577 in Manhattan, so you know what that means. 50 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,167 It means that the land the warehouse is on 51 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,500 is worth twice the company. 52 00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:16,713 Exactly, which makes them ripe for a take-- 53 00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,672 Ripe for a takeover. See? Great minds. 54 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,290 See, when we're going on together, it's like jazz. 55 00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,995 You guys are fucking watching jazz. 56 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,293 I hate to bust your denim dream, but, no. 57 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:25,995 It's fucking impossible, Mo. 58 00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,173 - Oh, is it impossible, Dawn? - It's impossible. 59 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,670 Lehman Brothers owns 30% of Georgina. 60 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,130 And trust me, they'd rather vote for punk-ass Mondale 61 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:35,998 than sell us a share of shit. 62 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,173 "Impossible." 63 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:40,670 Well, let me tell you something, gang. 64 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:42,290 I was born in a toilet 65 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,165 and left on the steps of a Church... 66 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:46,170 ...'s Chicken. 67 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,750 Yeah, Church's Chicken. 68 00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:50,134 - Anyway, 39 years later-- - Wait, 30 what? 69 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,788 Thirty-nine years later to the day, Dawn! 70 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:52,705 - He's 60. 71 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,752 I woke up in a $1,500-a-night fuck pad 72 00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:58,544 after having a $5,000 Park Avenue fuckathon. 73 00:04:58,625 --> 00:04:59,745 - What? - Whoo! 74 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,044 My robot butler brought me caviar 75 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,415 and The Wall Street Journal, 76 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,380 and I said, "Kyle"-- because I named him. 77 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,038 They encourage you to name them. 78 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,205 It helps with the bonding-- I said, "Kyle, 79 00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:11,211 throw that fish jizz out. Caviar is wack." 80 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:14,421 Kyle did that shit because Kyle understands English. 81 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:15,580 Solid. 82 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,247 And The Wall Street Journal 83 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,543 called you all 84 00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:21,415 the number 11 trading firm on the block. 85 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,418 And they called your man the Billy Ocean of trading. 86 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,040 - That's right! 87 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:28,705 Get it, get it, get it. 88 00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:32,915 ♪ Billy, Billy, Billy Ocean ♪ 89 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,080 That's--that's the hit right there. 90 00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:35,416 - Yes! - Yeah! 91 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:35,880 - Yes! - Yeah! 92 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:37,879 No! 93 00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:39,539 Hey! 94 00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:41,075 Whoa! Hey! 95 00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,577 Eleven? 96 00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:47,247 Get that out of here. The number 11 guy on the Knicks 97 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,543 isn't even a basketball player, all right? 98 00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:51,455 He's an eight-foot Serb with a kidney disease 99 00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:52,172 they took a flier on. 100 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:55,500 Eleven is one one too many. 101 00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:56,963 It's been the same 102 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,421 Monopoly-man-looking motherfuckers 103 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,250 at the top of Wall Street for 1,000 years. 104 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:03,583 "Impossible"? This shit is simple. 105 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:04,577 What goes in your pocket when that bell rings 106 00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,247 at the end of the day comes directly out 107 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,423 of some other sucker's asshole. 108 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,790 - Right? 109 00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:11,745 One guy gets a dope chalet in Vail. 110 00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:13,504 Another guy has to tell his daughter 111 00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:15,213 that Christmas is canceled 112 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,961 because Santa Claus exploded in the Challenger. 113 00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:19,001 - Ugh. - Now, I know who I am. 114 00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:20,253 - Do you know who you are? - I'm Kerth--Keith! 115 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,463 Yes. Do you know who you are? 116 00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,332 - Yassir X. - Absolutely. 117 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,077 - Do you know who you-- - Get the fuck out of my face. 118 00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,706 Right. Ronnie, you know who you are? 119 00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:28,252 Honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out. 120 00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,043 Just say "Ronnie." 121 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,705 I know who you are, all right? 122 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,792 God chose me to choose you. 123 00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,875 - Okay. - I am black Moses. 124 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:36,959 Nigga, did you say you black Moses? 125 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,291 Okay? And that designer denim LLC is the Red Sea. 126 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:42,125 And I'm gonna part that shit up, 127 00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:42,958 and I'm gonna take us to the promised land. 128 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:48,293 - Yeah! Yeah! - So start buying, okay? 129 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,205 But you keep that shit quiet, 130 00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:52,131 'cause if anybody outside of this room gets wind of that, 131 00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:54,168 you're all gonna be deader than that gremlin's pussy 132 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:55,040 - on top of Keith's head. 133 00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:56,285 Now, if you'll excuse me, 134 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,455 I'm gonna go put the "brother"... 135 00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:00,082 ...in Lehman Brothers. 136 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,126 - Yeah! Yes! Yeah! 137 00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,288 - Hey, Mo. - No, Keith. God damn it. 138 00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:06,325 You cannot stop a man who just butt-fucks his walk-off line 139 00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:09,377 - and then-- - Happy birthday, boss. 140 00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:10,288 I know it's the same shit every year, but what do you get 141 00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:12,825 the guy who has everything, right? 142 00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:15,167 - More coke. 143 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,630 - You guys get me. - Yeah! 144 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:23,667 ♪ upbeat synth music ♪ 145 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,793 Scusi. 146 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:39,665 I seem to have come down with a bad case of the first days. 147 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,290 Uh, I have an interview 148 00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:42,455 - at Morgan St-- - Hold on a second, Scotty. 149 00:07:42,542 --> 00:07:43,962 - Sorry. - Get cancer. 150 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:45,711 No, no, I just stepped in some dog shit. 151 00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:55,174 Pretty wild, right? 152 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,290 Yeah, it's awful. 153 00:07:57,375 --> 00:08:00,785 If this is trading, I may have picked the wrong career. 154 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:03,745 Oh. Uh, this is awkward. 155 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,384 Ty Daverman, Morgan Stanley. 156 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:07,578 We spoke on the phone. You're Blair? 157 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,827 Yes, Blair. Yes, Blair Pfaff. 158 00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:11,877 Yes, it's a very--it's very nice to meet you, sir. 159 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,789 Hey, before when I said I may have picked the wrong career, 160 00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,415 I meant that as a, uh--a joke. 161 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,880 Joking's kind of my strong suit. 162 00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:20,129 I mean, obviously trading is my strong suit. 163 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,168 What are my weaknesses? That's a great question. 164 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,790 I can only think of three-- 165 00:08:22,875 --> 00:08:26,575 caring too much, working too hard, and caring too much. 166 00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:29,037 And I just repeated myself, so that's four weaknesses, 167 00:08:29,125 --> 00:08:30,535 'cause I-- that's a repeating weakness. 168 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:33,075 Wow, good thing I'm not interviewing you, 169 00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:34,996 'cause I think you'd shit your pants in the next two seconds. 170 00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,333 I think so. 171 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,457 You're here to interview me, kid. 172 00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:39,752 I am? 173 00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:40,334 You're top recruit on the street. 174 00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:42,377 Everybody's buzzing 175 00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,168 about this, uh, trading algorithm 176 00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,170 you developed for your MBA thesis at Wharton. 177 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,670 - Hey, I'm a Wharthog myself. 178 00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:54,285 Look, you're gonna have 179 00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:56,375 your pick of the top shops, all right? 180 00:08:56,458 --> 00:08:57,748 But you want to be a MoStan man. 181 00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:00,924 Technology--we're on the cutting edge, all right? 182 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,330 From mobile phones as small as toasters 183 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:06,037 to computers big as barns. 184 00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,075 Here, consider it a gift. 185 00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:09,126 Seriously? 186 00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:12,378 Now, let's let these animals fight over the scraps. 187 00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,168 - I'll show you what the world 188 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,750 looks like to a MoStan man. 189 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:18,794 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 190 00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:26,963 Lenny Lehman. 191 00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:27,881 I'm Larry. 192 00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:30,999 I'm Lenny. You really can't tell us apart? 193 00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:32,633 Wait a minute, I forget. Now, which one of you 194 00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,169 is a virgin, and which one of you 195 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:35,250 ain't never been laid before? 196 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,583 We call that a dis! 197 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,877 Really? Well, if you were an identical twin, 198 00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,789 I would ask you, which one of you is under investigation, 199 00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:45,665 and which one of you has already been investigated? 200 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:49,210 Now, that's a "dist." 201 00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:50,791 What do you assholes want, anyway? 202 00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:52,035 What do we--wha--you came here. What do you want? 203 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,785 I would like to be a pair of Downtown Julie Brown's socks, 204 00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:58,285 but in the meantime, I'll take your shares of Georgina. 205 00:09:58,375 --> 00:09:59,825 Georgina? The women's jeanery? 206 00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:01,377 Len, do we even own any of that? 207 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,498 Yeah, Lar, we bought a chunk of that a while back 208 00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:04,883 to offset our capital gain-- 209 00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:06,379 Just give me the fucking shares. 210 00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:07,998 Then we'll go have brunch afterwards, on me. 211 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:08,673 Cheetah's Topless-- what do you say? 212 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,330 Free ta-tas and frittatas? 213 00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:11,287 Ew. 214 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,165 Why Georgina? It's a dog. 215 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:14,210 No big whoop. They cut a nice jean. 216 00:10:14,291 --> 00:10:15,671 I don't know about that. 217 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,750 We're all Cavaricci all the time, but okay. 218 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:21,254 Len, what's a fair price for our block of Georgina? 219 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:22,793 Well, it's trading at six, 220 00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:24,915 so based on projected future earnings, I'd say-- 221 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,460 One million dollars a share? 222 00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:31,083 Why don't you two stop fucking each other 223 00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,496 for five minutes and sell me some goddamn stock? 224 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:35,213 - That was a rumor. - I've never fucked my brother! 225 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:37,541 - That was a rumor. - I've never fucked my brother! 226 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,165 I-I know that. That was a joke. 227 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,040 It would be insane if you guys 228 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:41,165 were actually fucking each other. 229 00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:42,670 Yeah, exactly, Mo! 230 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,330 So, uh, maybe you should scram, okay? 231 00:10:45,417 --> 00:10:46,537 You're making us late for our stand-up comedy class. 232 00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:51,035 Get that money. 233 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:52,415 Eight. 234 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,210 Twenty. 235 00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:55,171 Nine and a half. 236 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,170 Twenty. 237 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,500 Ten. 238 00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:58,923 - Twenty-five. - Thirty. 239 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,920 - Ooh, this is fun. - You fuck-- 240 00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:06,462 All right... 241 00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,462 eighteen. 242 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,292 - Really? - Yeah. 243 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,625 Eighteen on two million shares? 244 00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:12,209 - Yeah. - Great. 245 00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,921 Thirty-six million dollars by close today, 246 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,500 or the deal is off. 247 00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,173 Great. That's an excellent fucking timeframe. 248 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,630 If you were to give me a menu of timeframes and say, 249 00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:20,079 "Mo, you want to pick a time"-- 250 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:20,876 It was a pleasure doing bus-- 251 00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:22,749 - Oh. - One, two... 252 00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,634 It was a pleasure doing business with you, 253 00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:26,749 - Mr. Monroe. - Jesus Christ. 254 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:27,964 You call yourself a twin? 255 00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:29,631 This is your thing. 256 00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:30,919 I don't want to do the talking at the same time. 257 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,170 - Thanks. 258 00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,580 Hey, Tiff, guess what I'm doing. 259 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:37,457 - Walking! 260 00:11:37,542 --> 00:11:40,422 Yeah, the guys from Morgan gave me a mobile phone. 261 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,670 I'm walking and talking! 262 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,750 I'm still sort of getting the hang of it, 263 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,424 but guess what else. 264 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,080 Morgan, Lehman, Goldman all made crazy offers. 265 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,786 Yeah, go out and buy yourself something really expensive, 266 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,625 'cause we got a lot to celebrate tonight. 267 00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:54,879 A lot. 268 00:11:54,959 --> 00:11:55,629 - Get ready-- 269 00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,209 - Oh, oh! 270 00:11:57,291 --> 00:12:00,251 Oh, I am so sorry. 271 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,043 That, uh, was a total accident. 272 00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:03,705 God, what is this, parmesan? That is-- 273 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:05,632 All right. 274 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:08,499 You're Maurice Monroe. You're Mo the Marauder. 275 00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:10,043 I r-read about you in the newspaper today. 276 00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:11,285 I'm so sorry. That was a very-- that was a bad accident 277 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:13,495 - on my part. I'm so sorry. - Kid, kid, it's all right. 278 00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:14,793 It's all--listen. It's all right, okay? 279 00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,625 Accidents happen. Accidents happen! 280 00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,289 - Accidents happen. 281 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,075 Thank you. Thanks. 282 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:22,376 Well, you know my name. What's yours? 283 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,788 - Blair. - No, really, what's your name? 284 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,205 - Uh, Blair. - Oh. 285 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,001 Yeah, it's actually much more common for a man 286 00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,583 than for a woman, yeah. 287 00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,167 I mean, think of all the famous male Blairs, right? 288 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,580 There's-there's L.A. Law heartthrob Blair Underwood. 289 00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:34,827 - Yes. - Right? There's, uh, former 290 00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:37,127 Secretary of State of Maryland Blair Lee III. 291 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,458 And who could forget British Lieutenant Governor 292 00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:40,882 Sir Blair Aubyn Stewart-Wilson? 293 00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:42,669 I mean, that guy was equerry to Her Majesty, the Queen. 294 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,500 You really know your Blairs. 295 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,173 - I do, I do. - Well, who do you work for? 296 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,580 Well, I-I'm fielding multiple offers right now. 297 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,747 I mean, between you and me, I'm kind of hot on the street. 298 00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:54,834 You lucky son of a bitch. That's exciting. 299 00:12:54,917 --> 00:12:55,787 - It is exciting. - Hey, everybody! 300 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,495 - No, come on. - No, no, it's fine. 301 00:12:58,583 --> 00:12:59,503 - No, sir, I really-- - Don't worry about it. Listen. 302 00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:01,213 Um, if anyone here hires 303 00:13:01,291 --> 00:13:04,381 Blair Bat Mitzvah Fucking Girl's Name, whatever, 304 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:06,458 I will personally be on the other side 305 00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,332 of every trade you make until you die, 306 00:13:08,417 --> 00:13:09,827 which will be soon, 307 00:13:09,917 --> 00:13:12,127 because you will jump out of a window 308 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,708 because you're bankrupt, at which point 309 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,212 I will go to your homes, 310 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,211 and I will make love to your wife... 311 00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:18,791 - ...and your kids, 312 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,665 depending on age and gender and looks. 313 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,880 Let's be honest-- it's mostly gonna be looks. 314 00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:25,749 - Okay, everybody got that? 315 00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:29,384 I am willing to lose a mil a day 316 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:32,418 to prevent Rachel Girl's Fucking Name here... 317 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,380 - ...from ever being employed 318 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:37,628 for the rest of her natural or unnatural fucking life-- 319 00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,039 whichever comes first. Everybody clear on that? 320 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:41,785 - All right. As you were. 321 00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:42,705 - No, sir, sir, this was-- - As you were. 322 00:13:42,792 --> 00:13:45,752 Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 323 00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:47,384 Is everything okay here, Mr. Monroe? 324 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:48,998 Yeah, everything's okay, except this fucking kid 325 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,173 doesn't know how to walk or do coke. 326 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,210 Oh, it's cocaine. 327 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,001 No, no, it's not my coke. I don't--I don't do-- 328 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:57,463 Oh, it's not your coke? Are you saying it's my coke? 329 00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,292 No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it-- 330 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:00,325 Wait, are you calling me a fucking cokehead? 331 00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:02,287 - No, I'm not saying-- - Well, I do do coke. 332 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,285 In fact, it's my second favorite thing to do. 333 00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,245 You know what my first favorite thing is? Money. 334 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,003 Now, my third favorite thing is rolling up 335 00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:09,753 my first favorite thing and doing a mountain 336 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,674 of my fucking second favorite thing. 337 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,920 But, Chong, here's the real thing--drugs on the floor 338 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,380 is a two-year suspension, if I'm correct. 339 00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:17,378 Okay, now--n-now, okay. Okay, all right. 340 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,288 No, you see, this was a misunderstanding. 341 00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:20,535 All right, Let me settle this. 342 00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:22,205 Does anyone know whose coke this is? 343 00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:23,081 It's the kid's coke--dropped right out of his pocket. 344 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,666 - Let's go. - Yeah, total basehead. 345 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,210 He tried to sell me heroin last week. 346 00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:28,751 - Did you check him for a gun? - Gun! 347 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,544 Yeah, party's over, Scarface! 348 00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,375 No! No, no, no. Mr. Daverman. 349 00:14:32,458 --> 00:14:34,078 Mr. Daverman. I will take that job. 350 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,706 I am definitely a MoStan man. 351 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,422 No, you're not, Blair. 352 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,670 By the way, you got a chick's name. 353 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,460 It's much more common for a man! 354 00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,748 How rich are we? 355 00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:56,167 - Ooh! What's all this? 356 00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:58,290 It's cocaine, but I can explain. 357 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,075 No explanation necessary, babe. 358 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,036 Let's celebrate. Now, just tell me... 359 00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:06,131 ...are we talking house money, or summer-house money? 360 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,288 'Cause I saw this place today. Now, it's definitely crazy. 361 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,495 - But it's not insane. - Babe. 362 00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:11,133 It's Saddam Hussein's condo for when he's in New York. 363 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:14,208 It's a total gut job, but the bones are amazing. 364 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:16,381 Hey, speaking of jobs... 365 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,958 - So, um... 366 00:15:19,041 --> 00:15:23,211 I didn't get any, and I never will, 367 00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:24,171 but it's not a bad thing. 368 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,210 Remember that screenplay I wrote in college? 369 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,131 Hear me out. What if we go to L.A.-- 370 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,540 I'm sorry. 371 00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:37,745 I-I think I wa--I was just reacting to your joke? 372 00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,004 W-what's happening, Blair? 373 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,003 You told me you had three job offers. 374 00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:46,333 I did, and it was a real... real dream come true, 375 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:49,667 until I met basically the Freddy Krueger 376 00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,170 of Wall Street, 377 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,380 and he entered that precious dream, 378 00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:54,828 and he shredded it, 379 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,997 like Freddy Krueger is wont to do. 380 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,633 But you know what? We don't need money to be happy. 381 00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:03,579 I'm sorry. That must be some sort 382 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,207 of fight-or-flight thing, but this is okay. 383 00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,541 Okay. This is okay. 384 00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,125 You'll just go-- 385 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:11,828 you'll go work for my dad! 386 00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:13,667 No, I told you I'm gonna make it on my own. 387 00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,830 I'm dating a success, Blair. 388 00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,747 The only question is, is it gonna be you, 389 00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:20,424 or is it gonna be Nat Hayes, who's been trying 390 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,920 to get his fingers in me since a cappella camp? 391 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,630 - Oh... - Someone took your job? 392 00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,709 Take it back. 393 00:16:26,792 --> 00:16:28,292 Yeah. 394 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:29,625 Yeah, you're right. 395 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,499 This doesn't have to be the end of me. 396 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,963 Yeah, I could just-- I could just lay low 397 00:16:34,041 --> 00:16:37,081 for, what, like, a year or two, let that old guard die out-- 398 00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:38,706 - Ah! - What is this thing-- 399 00:16:38,792 --> 00:16:40,792 - a dick or a vagina? - Babe, language! 400 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:44,075 If this is, in fact, a dick and not a long dangling clit 401 00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:45,246 and you ever want to put it in me again, 402 00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:48,213 you will go down there and get your dream back. 403 00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:53,081 So tell me-- is this a dick or a vagina? 404 00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,876 I think we both know that it-- 405 00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:56,499 Do you have a dick or a vagina? 406 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,543 I have a penis! 407 00:16:57,625 --> 00:17:00,165 Should we have sex really quick? 408 00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,960 - 'Cause I'm super... - Ah, ah, ah, ah... 409 00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:03,171 ...jazzed. 410 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:03,750 No. Yeah, I get you. 411 00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:06,044 I'm gonna go get my job, 412 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,745 and then I'm gonna come back and do sex on you. 413 00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:11,884 And then we're gonna get some TCBY. 414 00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:13,539 - Ooh. - You want yogurt? 415 00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:14,575 - Yes. - Mommy, baby want yogurt. 416 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,917 - Oh, I want chocolate. - I want sprinkles... 417 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,790 ...Mommy! 418 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:19,415 Get down there and get your job back. 419 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,330 Okay. 420 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,630 Gang, listen up. 421 00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:26,789 I got some good news, and I got some better news. 422 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,955 Good news-- Don Henley is confirmed 423 00:17:29,041 --> 00:17:31,081 for my bitchin' B-day blowout party tonight. 424 00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:32,786 Ooh, I love him. 425 00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,125 You know, I don't really fuck with the guy's music, 426 00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:35,668 but, you know, his album's number one, 427 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:36,420 and my party's gonna be number one, 428 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,790 so it just kind of made sense. 429 00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:39,665 And the better news-- 430 00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,790 I have acquired the Lehman Brother's block of Georgina. 431 00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:43,125 - Nice. - Holy shit. 432 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:43,668 - Whoo! 433 00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:46,250 What'd you pay? 434 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,793 Can I live? 435 00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:50,285 Jesus Christ, Dawn, you don't ask a man 436 00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:51,785 how much he spent on a gift, 437 00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:54,325 which is exactly what that is for you. 438 00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:57,880 - Eighteen. - Ooh. 439 00:17:57,959 --> 00:17:59,789 Eighteen? It's at six and a half! 440 00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,125 We don't have that kind of cash. 441 00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,458 I will fucking borrow it, Dawn. 442 00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:05,042 Mo, you are risking everything! 443 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,963 That's the best part. 444 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:10,501 Dawn, co--you remember Top Gun, right? 445 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,133 Of course I remember Top Gun. You-you-you made me see it 446 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:13,878 - three times opening night. - Yes, I did. 447 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,459 And you know what? It wasn't a good movie. 448 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:16,712 Yes, it was! 449 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:17,582 It was just a bunch of white boys trying 450 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,457 to butt-fuck each other in the clouds. 451 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:20,882 Okay, yes, those undertones did exist, 452 00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:22,129 but that's not the fucking point 453 00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:23,828 of what I'm trying to tell you here. 454 00:18:23,917 --> 00:18:25,247 I'm saying that if they had not risked it all, 455 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,753 where would Goose and Mav be right now? 456 00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:28,674 Goose would probably be alive. 457 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:29,960 - We don't know that, Dawn! - Oh, come on! 458 00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,041 Okay? Goose was very reckless. 459 00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:33,875 Mav said, "Watch the fucking canopy." 460 00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:35,209 - Well, he fucking-- - And what did Goose do? 461 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,541 - Hey! 462 00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:40,205 Bet you didn't think you'd see this me again. 463 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:43,381 This guy! Me! 464 00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:46,578 Wow. I am very glad you're here. 465 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,787 - Really? - Yeah. 466 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:49,995 I would like a tuna fish sandwich, hold the carrots, 467 00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:51,583 and a Crystal Pepsi. Anybody? 468 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,457 No, I'm the guy from the floor. 469 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,130 - With the cocaine. - Oh! Thank God. 470 00:18:56,208 --> 00:18:57,918 - Hey, coke guy's here! - Uh, let me get 471 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,630 two eight balls and, uh, what's that new thing 472 00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:00,709 everybody's talking about? Crack? Crack? 473 00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,882 - Oh, two cracks. - Just regular cocaine for me. 474 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,129 No, no, no, let's be innovative. 475 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,788 Cracks. Cracks for everybody, guys! 476 00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,625 - Yeah. - No one is getting cracks! 477 00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:08,829 Oh. 478 00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:11,787 I am Blair Pfaff. 479 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,285 Rachel the Bat Mitzvah Girl. 480 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:17,575 Yes. You are the motherfucker that ruined my suit. 481 00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:18,917 Yeah, and you're the motherfucker 482 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,750 who ruined my life. 483 00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:22,714 Suit's worth more. It was a Bijan. 484 00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:23,712 - Had to throw it in the trash. - It was a Bijan? 485 00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:26,042 Shut the fuck up. 486 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,665 You think you scare me? 487 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,830 My dad beat me every day of my life until he died, 488 00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:33,957 and he literally died of a heart attack 489 00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:34,751 while beating me. 490 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,460 You got to be fucking shitting me. 491 00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:40,002 - Is that true? - Yeah. 492 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,583 I worked two jobs to get my degree. 493 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:42,917 I worked three to get my MBA, 494 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,500 and yet I still had enough time 495 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,883 to develop an algorithm that, when backtested, 496 00:19:45,959 --> 00:19:49,919 beat every house on the street, including your chop shop, okay? 497 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,960 So I'm here as a warning. 498 00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:53,251 I'm gonna use this "cocaine possession 499 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:57,043 with intent to distribute" charge as motivation 500 00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,745 to become the biggest swinging dick on Wall Street. 501 00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,504 So here's what you can do, Mo. 502 00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:06,253 You can go downstairs and un-take the giant poo 503 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,213 you took on my career. 504 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:11,331 Or guess what. I'm gonna be on the other side of every trade 505 00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:13,627 you make for the rest of your life. 506 00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:16,209 - Mm. - I'm gonna call an ambulance. 507 00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:19,499 What kind of car you drive, kid? 508 00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,293 Oh, 'cause I drive a Honda and you drive a Porsche? 509 00:20:21,375 --> 00:20:23,955 I don't drive shit. I get driven. 510 00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:26,461 - Mm-hmm. - In a Lamborghini limousine, 511 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,632 aka a Lambo limo, aka a Limbo. 512 00:20:29,709 --> 00:20:32,129 So you get none of the speed of a Lamborghini 513 00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:33,958 and none of the comfort of a limousine? 514 00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,831 Yeah, but it costs twice as much as both, obvious-- 515 00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:37,957 This guy is not a car guy. You're not a car guy. 516 00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,171 I don't like your fucking tone. 517 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:39,790 You don't know shit about cracks. 518 00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:42,745 Who are you, Pfaff? 519 00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:44,754 Who are you? 520 00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:47,004 Mr. Hotshot with an Algorithm's got all these guys downstairs 521 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,293 jizzing in their fucking pants. 522 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:52,075 Well, let me ask you something. You want to... 523 00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:53,826 you want to give it a test-drive? 524 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:55,167 What? 525 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:57,080 I'll put 50K in an account. 526 00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:59,916 And you double that by close, and you get a job. 527 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,500 You don't, I get your car. 528 00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:05,003 Why do you want a shitty Honda? 529 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:06,383 I don't want a "shitty Honda." 530 00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:09,128 I want your shitty Honda. 531 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:10,538 - Okay. - Okay, great. 532 00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,245 Dawn will set you up with an account. 533 00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:13,833 Don't let those titties fool you, all right? 534 00:21:13,917 --> 00:21:15,917 She's got the biggest set of nuts on Wall Street. 535 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,750 Now, if you will "excusez-me-moi," 536 00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:19,424 I got about three and a half hours 537 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,170 to borrow 36 million bucks. 538 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:23,710 - Chad, moisten me. - Wha-- 539 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,747 I'm not a-- 540 00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:29,174 ...allowed to trade. 541 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,210 I'm being investigated for cocaine, remember? 542 00:21:30,291 --> 00:21:33,671 - Kid, who isn't? 543 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,670 I fucking freebased with the mayor of D.C. 544 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,380 - Ah! Mayor Barry. - Tough on crime. 545 00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:39,378 But you are about to learn a valuable lesson 546 00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:41,208 that your fucking MBA 547 00:21:41,291 --> 00:21:43,541 and all your bullshit education could not teach you. 548 00:21:43,625 --> 00:21:46,325 The only algorithm that a real trader needs 549 00:21:46,417 --> 00:21:48,207 is the ♪ Algo-rhythm of the night ♪ 550 00:21:48,291 --> 00:21:50,501 Ooh! You just got DeBarged. 551 00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:54,383 ♪ DeBarge's "Rhythm of the Night" ♪ 552 00:22:04,709 --> 00:22:06,379 Okay, everybody, ten Gs, 553 00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:09,748 Michael J. Cocksucker here goes bust in an hour! 554 00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:12,544 No, fucking make that 15! I got 15! 555 00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:13,535 ♪ When it feels like ♪ 556 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:17,075 ♪ The world is on your shoulders ♪ 557 00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:20,036 ♪ And all of the madness has got you going crazy ♪ 558 00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:23,035 ♪ It's time to get out ♪ 559 00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:24,785 ♪ Step out into the street ♪ 560 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:26,995 ♪ Where all of the action ♪ 561 00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:28,793 ♪ Is right there at your feet ♪ 562 00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:30,495 ♪ Well, I know a place ♪ 563 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,833 ♪ Where we can dance the whole night away ♪ 564 00:22:34,625 --> 00:22:36,165 ♪ Underneath electric stars... ♪ 565 00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:39,330 - Whoa! Not okay! 566 00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:41,167 Not cool! 567 00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,750 ♪ You'll be doing fine once the music starts ♪ 568 00:22:43,834 --> 00:22:47,924 ♪ Oh! Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪ 569 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,880 ♪ Dance until the morning light ♪ 570 00:22:49,959 --> 00:22:51,419 That's why I love you, Sergei. 571 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:54,210 ♪ You can leave them all behind ♪ 572 00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:55,961 ♪ Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪ 573 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,961 - This is working? - Kid's got a shot. 574 00:22:58,041 --> 00:22:59,631 Fucking-- 575 00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:03,035 Dude, we just fixed that wall! 576 00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:04,575 - Hey, I got the... 577 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:06,127 Just coming through there? Okay. 578 00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:11,132 Shit. 579 00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:11,918 ♪ Look out on the street now... ♪ 580 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,460 Yeah. 581 00:23:14,542 --> 00:23:15,962 ♪ The music's playing... ♪ 582 00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:19,541 Wow. Hey, uh... 583 00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:22,705 ♪ Under the streetlights, the scene is being set ♪ 584 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,502 ♪ A night for romance... ♪ 585 00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,213 Whoa! 586 00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:28,381 That's a lot of blood for a little guy. 587 00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,248 Shit. I can't believe it. 588 00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:31,293 This guy's gonna get to 100. 589 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:33,625 Oh, this is bullshit. 590 00:23:33,709 --> 00:23:35,419 How the fuck is this happening? 591 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,630 - Hang on, hang on. 592 00:23:36,709 --> 00:23:36,959 - Oh, shit. - It's dropping! 593 00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:40,458 Here come the short sellers. 594 00:23:40,542 --> 00:23:43,132 - Oh! - No, no, no. 595 00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:45,828 - Oh! Fuck! You! 596 00:23:45,917 --> 00:23:47,497 Pay up, Dawn! Cheetah's Topless! 597 00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:49,793 First round of head's on me. Let's go. 598 00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:51,285 Come on, there you go. 599 00:23:51,375 --> 00:23:52,285 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. 600 00:23:52,375 --> 00:23:53,915 - Yeah, yeah. - Bye-bye. 601 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:54,960 - See you at the party, Dawn. 602 00:23:55,041 --> 00:23:56,421 Shit. 603 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:59,960 - You bet on me to win? 604 00:24:00,041 --> 00:24:03,291 Mm, actually, I bet you'd lose it all. 605 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,785 That last 84 cent cost me 15 grand. 606 00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:08,165 Well, too bad you won't be sticking around. 607 00:24:08,250 --> 00:24:10,880 You're cute, kid. 608 00:24:10,959 --> 00:24:14,629 But you're the worst trader in Manhattan since the Indians. 609 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:22,962 Hey, brother-fuckers. 610 00:24:23,041 --> 00:24:24,461 That's a rumor! That's a goddamn rumor! 611 00:24:24,542 --> 00:24:25,792 Rumor. 612 00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:27,455 This is a buy order 613 00:24:27,542 --> 00:24:28,962 for all your Georgina shares. 614 00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,831 So, if you would please sign this 615 00:24:30,917 --> 00:24:34,207 before I have to call INS or child protective services 616 00:24:34,291 --> 00:24:36,081 or whatever the fuck it is you guys got going here. 617 00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:38,166 You know, Len, as much as I'd like to deny Mr. Monroe 618 00:24:38,250 --> 00:24:41,000 of something he desires... 619 00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:42,713 remember what Daddy always said. 620 00:24:42,792 --> 00:24:45,042 "Never walk away from a dollar that makes sense." 621 00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:46,705 Oh, wow. 622 00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:49,212 Well, you know, your daddy sounds like a schmuck! 623 00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:50,671 Boom! 624 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,040 How does it feel to get mowed down by Mo, 625 00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:54,745 - you double McFucks? 626 00:24:57,041 --> 00:24:59,331 How do you say "give us the room" in Korean? 627 00:24:59,417 --> 00:25:00,707 You know what? Never mind. Just leave. 628 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,502 All the Koreans in the room, leave. 629 00:25:02,583 --> 00:25:04,293 Every Korean in the room, get out of the room. 630 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,625 Sorry, ladies, you're gonna miss the show. 631 00:25:05,709 --> 00:25:07,329 You know what's gonna be amazing? 632 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:08,877 When I redecorate this fucking place, right? 633 00:25:08,959 --> 00:25:11,419 Out with the blue blood, in with the new blood. 634 00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:13,500 You know, Len, I think I know what Mo's up to. 635 00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:15,253 - You think he's trying...? 636 00:25:15,333 --> 00:25:17,253 The Georgina play. 637 00:25:18,667 --> 00:25:20,037 Well, uh, guess what. 638 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:22,375 You figured it out two signatures too late. 639 00:25:22,458 --> 00:25:24,578 By this time tomorrow, I'll be at 51%, 640 00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:27,287 and I'll be richer than both of you two fucks fucked together. 641 00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:29,495 No, no, you'll only get to 49%, 642 00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,963 and then you'll quickly realize that Georgina 643 00:25:33,041 --> 00:25:34,831 is the white whale of Wall Street. 644 00:25:34,917 --> 00:25:36,827 Oh, whale? I love whale. 645 00:25:36,917 --> 00:25:38,917 Chez Luc does an off-menu humpback carpaccio 646 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,670 that's to die for. 647 00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:45,170 In 1861, Georgina Jeans-- or as it was known at the time, 648 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:47,420 Georgina Amalgamated Slave Holdings-- 649 00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:50,790 decided to stop selling slaves and start making pants. 650 00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:52,285 For slaves. 651 00:25:52,375 --> 00:25:53,745 Eventually slavery went out of fashion. 652 00:25:53,834 --> 00:25:58,214 But, ironically, those pants became very fashionable. 653 00:25:58,291 --> 00:25:59,921 The company took off. 654 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,670 Ever since, their warehouses have made them a target 655 00:26:02,750 --> 00:26:04,130 for takeovers. 656 00:26:04,208 --> 00:26:05,498 Better men than you, Maurice, have fallen prey 657 00:26:05,583 --> 00:26:08,793 to the siren song of Lady Georgina. 658 00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:11,075 But she's left them all bankrupt, suicidal, 659 00:26:11,166 --> 00:26:13,626 or even worse... 660 00:26:13,709 --> 00:26:14,919 Middle class. 661 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,380 Yeah, well, until now. 662 00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:17,538 Until never. 663 00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:20,165 The Georgina family owns 51% 664 00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:22,580 hidden in shell companies within shell companies 665 00:26:22,667 --> 00:26:24,577 that would take a million Jew lawyers 666 00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:25,627 a million Jew years to jew out. 667 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:28,829 And the family keeps it a well-guarded secret 668 00:26:28,917 --> 00:26:32,787 so that anyone attempting a takeover gets burned. 669 00:26:32,875 --> 00:26:34,995 - Sometimes literally. - Sometimes literally! 670 00:26:35,083 --> 00:26:37,333 Our grand-père, Leonitis Lehman 671 00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:38,997 set himself ablaze 672 00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:40,673 after his failed attempt triggered the '29 crash. 673 00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:44,250 So, unless your last name is Georgina, 674 00:26:44,333 --> 00:26:46,583 good luck unloading the most toxic stock 675 00:26:46,667 --> 00:26:47,667 in the history of Wall Street. 676 00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:50,580 Hey, Len, I got a good one for you. 677 00:26:50,667 --> 00:26:52,707 Where do all the rock-star traders go out 678 00:26:52,792 --> 00:26:55,422 after they trade with the Lehmans? 679 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,540 - A window. - Oh, that's funny. 680 00:26:57,625 --> 00:26:59,875 Those comedy classes are really paying off. 681 00:26:59,959 --> 00:27:01,829 Your comedy classes suck! 682 00:27:01,917 --> 00:27:03,707 And your timing is for shit! 683 00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:08,332 I'm gonna go now. 684 00:27:08,417 --> 00:27:09,827 - Good luck. 685 00:27:17,959 --> 00:27:18,959 Ugh. 686 00:27:19,041 --> 00:27:21,501 Ugh. Shit. 687 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,083 - Wow. - I know. 688 00:27:23,166 --> 00:27:24,746 - It's pretty gross, right? 689 00:27:24,834 --> 00:27:26,334 - Ugh! - No, no, no. 690 00:27:26,417 --> 00:27:28,077 I'm talking about you. 691 00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,536 Good thing these sprinklers don't work. 692 00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:31,245 It'd be... 693 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,083 Well, you know, I did have to come correct 694 00:27:33,166 --> 00:27:33,536 for your party, right? 695 00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:35,325 Yes, you did. 696 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:39,415 So how'd it go with the Lehmans today? 697 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,750 Fucking outstanding. How else could it go? 698 00:27:41,834 --> 00:27:43,714 Good. 699 00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:46,422 So, listen, I'm... 700 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,210 I'm sorry I was so hard on you today, Mo-Mo. 701 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,881 - I just... - Eh. 702 00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,579 I just, uh... 703 00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:53,327 You know, I just want you to be okay. 704 00:27:53,417 --> 00:27:55,827 Yeah, I know. 705 00:27:55,917 --> 00:27:56,787 I know. 706 00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,498 Hey, Dawny, you ready? 707 00:27:59,583 --> 00:28:00,253 Hey! 708 00:28:00,333 --> 00:28:02,923 My man! Maurice! 709 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,670 - Eh, Spencer. - Hey. 710 00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:06,420 How's the brain biz, bro? 711 00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:09,080 - Oh, you know, it's boring. - Yeah, I can imagine. 712 00:28:09,166 --> 00:28:10,246 No, that's a neurosurgery joke-- 713 00:28:10,333 --> 00:28:13,133 because we're always boring into people's skulls. 714 00:28:13,208 --> 00:28:15,078 - Oh, amazing! - Yeah. 715 00:28:15,166 --> 00:28:16,326 But speaking of jokes, 716 00:28:16,417 --> 00:28:17,537 you guys are gonna love it tonight 717 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,415 because I got Piscopo MC'ing. 718 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:21,380 Yeah, he does an amazing me. 719 00:28:21,458 --> 00:28:22,708 Sounds like it could be kind of racist-- 720 00:28:22,792 --> 00:28:25,672 and it-it is very racist-- but it's funny racist. 721 00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:27,290 - "Funny racist"? Okay, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 722 00:28:27,375 --> 00:28:29,035 - It's the good kind. - You know, I remember 723 00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:31,325 when your birthday used to be just sticking a candle 724 00:28:31,417 --> 00:28:33,127 in some apple pie at Church's Chicken. 725 00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:34,628 - Yeah, well, 726 00:28:34,709 --> 00:28:35,919 - fuck those days, huh? - Aw. 727 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,170 Okay, well, uh... 728 00:28:37,250 --> 00:28:38,130 Anyway, if you don't mind, though, 729 00:28:38,208 --> 00:28:40,078 - I got to get out of here... - Yeah. 730 00:28:40,166 --> 00:28:41,626 ...because I got a Dawn I have to get to myself. 731 00:28:41,709 --> 00:28:43,459 You may have heard of her-- Rae Dawn Chong. 732 00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:44,752 That's right. 733 00:28:44,834 --> 00:28:45,794 I'm gonna show her the real color purple. 734 00:28:45,875 --> 00:28:48,785 My co-- it's a dick joke. 735 00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:50,455 The top of it. 736 00:28:50,542 --> 00:28:52,292 When it gets engorged, it turns purple, like aubergine. 737 00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:53,285 - See you at the party! 738 00:28:53,375 --> 00:28:55,325 All right. 739 00:28:55,417 --> 00:28:58,417 ♪ forlorn music ♪ 740 00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:07,128 Aw. 741 00:29:07,208 --> 00:29:09,788 What's the problem? 742 00:29:09,875 --> 00:29:12,495 Your little algorithm doesn't work so well 743 00:29:12,583 --> 00:29:14,963 against real traders, huh? 744 00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:19,081 Pro tip, kid--computers don't make trades, okay? 745 00:29:19,166 --> 00:29:20,326 Men do. 746 00:29:20,417 --> 00:29:21,667 - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 747 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:25,630 - Dick. - Wait a minute. Hold up. 748 00:29:25,709 --> 00:29:28,169 So what was the plan? You were gonna... 749 00:29:28,250 --> 00:29:30,460 land a big, juicy job, then you're gonna 750 00:29:30,542 --> 00:29:32,132 run over there and propose to her? 751 00:29:33,959 --> 00:29:34,079 Yeah. 752 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:37,205 Yeah. 753 00:29:38,583 --> 00:29:40,213 I get that. 754 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,380 Look, you got to do it. 755 00:29:45,458 --> 00:29:48,168 You just got to fucking do it. If you don't do this, 756 00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:50,000 you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. 757 00:29:50,083 --> 00:29:51,463 You're gonna lose her forever. 758 00:29:51,542 --> 00:29:52,752 - No, I already lost her. - No. 759 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:55,634 She's not gonna marry some... 760 00:29:55,709 --> 00:29:58,039 jobless... 761 00:29:58,125 --> 00:29:59,325 loser. 762 00:29:59,417 --> 00:30:00,787 - You're not-- - I'm a loser. 763 00:30:00,875 --> 00:30:04,285 Look, just go fucking propose already, okay? 764 00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:06,035 I'll see you in the morning. 765 00:30:06,125 --> 00:30:07,495 Wait. Wait, really? 766 00:30:07,583 --> 00:30:09,133 Yes. 767 00:30:09,208 --> 00:30:10,578 With the Honda. 768 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:12,037 I will see you in the morning with the Honda. 769 00:30:12,125 --> 00:30:13,825 - Oh... - A bet is a bet. 770 00:30:13,917 --> 00:30:15,827 Come on. I'm just messing around. 771 00:30:15,917 --> 00:30:17,537 You didn't do so bad today. 772 00:30:17,625 --> 00:30:21,995 I lost you $49,999.16. 773 00:30:22,083 --> 00:30:26,883 W-what is that? That's like two robot butlers. 774 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:27,709 - Uh, sure. - You know, nobody's yelled 775 00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:30,422 at me like that since 1973? 776 00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:33,040 You got some balls behind those pleats. 777 00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:36,875 So what do you say, Mr. MBA? 778 00:30:36,959 --> 00:30:38,709 You want to fuck with me? 779 00:30:39,834 --> 00:30:43,084 Or are you too good for my little "chop shop"? 780 00:30:43,166 --> 00:30:44,916 I would love to fuck with you. 781 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,830 - Yes. Yes. Yes, thank you. - Okay. 782 00:30:46,917 --> 00:30:47,747 - Thank you so-- - Oh! No touching. 783 00:30:47,834 --> 00:30:49,584 - I'm sorry. - No touching. 784 00:30:49,667 --> 00:30:51,247 I'm sorry about that. 785 00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,173 But I got something else, and you need to hear this. 786 00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:55,170 - This is critical. - Yes. 787 00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:57,080 I'm gonna need that Honda. 788 00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:01,833 You said you were kidding. 789 00:31:01,917 --> 00:31:03,457 No, I was kidding when I said I didn't need it. 790 00:31:03,542 --> 00:31:06,582 Give me the fucking Honda. I'm gonna use it as a toilet. 791 00:31:06,667 --> 00:31:08,827 And next time I'm coming for that dope-ass tie pin. 792 00:31:08,917 --> 00:31:10,747 Oh, no, no, no, I'd never bet this. 793 00:31:10,834 --> 00:31:13,084 Get the fuck out of here. Everything's got a price. 794 00:31:13,166 --> 00:31:14,666 You watching the World Series? 795 00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:15,920 Yeah. 796 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,290 Don't put your money on the Red Sox, Al. 797 00:31:19,375 --> 00:31:20,455 - I shortened "algorithm." - Huh. 798 00:31:24,959 --> 00:31:27,999 ♪ Don Henley's "New York Minute" ♪ 799 00:31:38,417 --> 00:31:40,957 Oh, shit! I did not think he was gonna show up. 800 00:31:41,041 --> 00:31:42,631 ♪ Harry got up ♪ 801 00:31:42,709 --> 00:31:44,629 ♪ Dressed all in black ♪ 802 00:31:44,709 --> 00:31:47,289 You ready, boss? 803 00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:49,075 ♪ Went down to the station ♪ 804 00:31:49,166 --> 00:31:49,786 Boss? 805 00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:52,535 ♪ And he never came back ♪ 806 00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:53,495 Uh...you know, let's just go home. 807 00:31:53,583 --> 00:31:54,833 I'm--I'm beat. 808 00:31:54,917 --> 00:31:57,917 ♪ They found his clothing... ♪ 809 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,710 You got it, Mo. 810 00:32:00,792 --> 00:32:04,132 ♪ And he won't be down on Wall Street ♪ 811 00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:05,458 ♪ In the morning ♪ 812 00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:12,003 ♪ He had a home ♪ 813 00:32:12,083 --> 00:32:14,673 ♪ Love of a girl ♪ 814 00:32:16,417 --> 00:32:20,037 ♪ But men get lost sometimes ♪ 815 00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:21,995 ♪ As years unfurl ♪ 816 00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:25,833 ♪ One day he crossed some line ♪ 817 00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:29,707 ♪ And he was too much in this world ♪ 818 00:32:29,792 --> 00:32:34,462 ♪ But I guess it doesn't matter anymore ♪ 819 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:40,423 ♪ In a New York Minute ♪ 820 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,710 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 821 00:32:42,792 --> 00:32:44,542 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 822 00:32:44,625 --> 00:32:48,325 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 823 00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:49,877 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 824 00:32:49,959 --> 00:32:51,959 ♪ Things can get pretty strange ♪ 825 00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:54,921 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 826 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,500 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 827 00:32:57,583 --> 00:32:59,383 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 828 00:32:59,458 --> 00:33:01,828 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 829 00:33:01,917 --> 00:33:04,497 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 830 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:06,133 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 831 00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:09,458 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 832 00:33:09,542 --> 00:33:11,382 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 833 00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,708 ♪ You can get out of the way ♪ 834 00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:17,332 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 835 00:33:17,417 --> 00:33:18,957 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 836 00:33:19,041 --> 00:33:20,831 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 837 00:33:20,917 --> 00:33:24,037 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 838 00:33:24,125 --> 00:33:26,535 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 839 00:33:28,083 --> 00:33:31,503 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 840 00:33:31,583 --> 00:33:32,923 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 841 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,670 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 842 00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:38,750 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 843 00:33:38,834 --> 00:33:40,004 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 844 00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:43,003 ♪ Things can get a little strange ♪ 845 00:33:43,083 --> 00:33:44,543 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 846 00:33:46,166 --> 00:33:48,166 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 847 00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:50,830 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 848 00:33:50,917 --> 00:33:53,537 ♪ In a New York Minute ♪ 849 00:33:56,667 --> 00:34:00,207 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 850 00:34:00,291 --> 00:34:02,421 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 851 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,500 ♪ Everything can change ♪ 852 00:34:04,583 --> 00:34:06,793 ♪ In a New York minute ♪ 853 00:34:06,875 --> 00:34:09,245 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪