1
00:00:02,237 --> 00:00:04,653
Previously on Kidding...

2
00:00:04,736 --> 00:00:07,195
In six weeks, I'm gonna be dead.

3
00:00:07,279 --> 00:00:08,945
Bad fucking table!

4
00:00:09,028 --> 00:00:12,195
I have a lot of pent-up anger,
and I don't know

5
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,945
where it's coming from
or how to stop it.

6
00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:16,028
Pickles On Ice,

7
00:00:16,112 --> 00:00:18,903
starring Mr. Pickles himself,
as played

8
00:00:18,987 --> 00:00:20,903
by gold medalist Tara Lipinski.

9
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,320
Hi, I'm Jeff.

10
00:00:22,404 --> 00:00:24,528
Let's meet the writers I hired.

11
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What writers?

12
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,945
Rabbi Michael Epstein.

13
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Yeah, I'm a man of God,

14
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,112
but I'm also funny.

15
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He's not me.
Peter's not me,

16
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Tara Lipinski's not me.

17
00:00:32,903 --> 00:00:33,945
I know a place

18
00:00:34,028 --> 00:00:35,362
where we can light up.

19
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Et voilà.

20
00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:39,903
No one moved in.
It's just sitting here.

21
00:00:44,404 --> 00:00:47,653
Let there be light.

22
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:51,070
Best beginning in the history
of beginnings.

23
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Makes "Call me Ishmael"

24
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,445
sound like the pickup line

25
00:00:54,528 --> 00:00:56,611
of a diseased sailor.

26
00:00:56,695 --> 00:00:59,404
Wait, do you guys smell that?

27
00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:02,862
Rotten eggs.

28
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Sweet!

29
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,195
Fight!

30
00:01:33,154 --> 00:01:34,653
A little later on,

31
00:01:34,736 --> 00:01:36,362
after floods

32
00:01:36,445 --> 00:01:38,862
and pestilence,

33
00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:41,070
and a gazillion "begot" s,

34
00:01:41,154 --> 00:01:42,695
God tells us

35
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"I make good,

36
00:01:45,195 --> 00:01:47,404
and I create evil."

37
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,279
"If there is light,

38
00:01:54,362 --> 00:01:55,987
there is dark.

39
00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:57,404
Gas!

40
00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:59,570
Wait, gas!

41
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,611
Oh, shit.

42
00:02:01,695 --> 00:02:03,154
"If life,

43
00:02:03,237 --> 00:02:05,320
there is death."

44
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Wait, Will, don't!

45
00:02:08,154 --> 00:02:10,862
But for
every bad thing God does,

46
00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:13,154
he does a good thing, too.

47
00:02:13,237 --> 00:02:15,362
Whoa.

48
00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:18,653
There is always a balance,

49
00:02:18,736 --> 00:02:20,611
and every action has its equal

50
00:02:20,695 --> 00:02:22,862
- and its opposite.
- Your case

51
00:02:22,945 --> 00:02:24,987
is more aggressive.
I'm so sorry.

52
00:02:30,945 --> 00:02:33,112
During your tenure on Earth,

53
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,862
you will never know

54
00:02:34,945 --> 00:02:36,695
how the events of your life

55
00:02:36,778 --> 00:02:39,862
add to and subtract from

56
00:02:39,945 --> 00:02:42,112
the... calculus

57
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,653
of existence.

58
00:02:47,945 --> 00:02:49,736
Anyway,

59
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:52,528
my girlfriend made
these cookies.

60
00:02:52,611 --> 00:02:54,028
They embody the universe.

61
00:02:54,112 --> 00:02:55,570
Huh?

62
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,611
They're good, but not great.

63
00:03:17,362 --> 00:03:18,653
You okay, little Nunchuck?

64
00:03:18,736 --> 00:03:19,987
Why didn't we die?

65
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,570
Yeah, why didn't we die?

66
00:03:21,653 --> 00:03:22,903
Dudes,

67
00:03:22,987 --> 00:03:25,945
I think it's that time.

68
00:03:26,028 --> 00:03:28,112
Time to blaze and glaze.

69
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"Blaze and glaze"?

70
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:34,653
I think the house did explode,

71
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,237
and when it did,

72
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,154
we left that universe behind,

73
00:03:39,237 --> 00:03:41,112
that there's a parallel reality

74
00:03:41,195 --> 00:03:43,362
in which we are deceased

75
00:03:43,445 --> 00:03:45,279
and BD does not persist
in making

76
00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:46,778
high-end Judaica

77
00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,695
for my mother.

78
00:03:48,778 --> 00:03:52,736
Everyone deserves
a nice menorah.

79
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,237
Why are we calling him
Nunchuck now?

80
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,528
Will, Good Will Hunting,

81
00:03:57,611 --> 00:03:58,778
hunting.

82
00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:00,404
I hunt with nunchucks.

83
00:04:00,486 --> 00:04:01,404
Nunchuck.

84
00:04:01,486 --> 00:04:04,028
Oh, okay.

85
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:07,237
Do you have
a guardian angel, Cassidy?

86
00:04:09,195 --> 00:04:11,279
How about you, Nunchuck?

87
00:04:11,362 --> 00:04:13,486
Maybe.

88
00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:42,320
Uh, hi.

89
00:04:42,404 --> 00:04:43,204
Uh, Havana?

90
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:44,945
Uh, yeah?

91
00:04:45,028 --> 00:04:46,611
Do you remember me?

92
00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:49,611
I mean, I know who you are.

93
00:04:49,695 --> 00:04:51,445
Yeah, I had this brother Phil,

94
00:04:51,528 --> 00:04:52,653
- He, uh...
- Right.

95
00:04:52,736 --> 00:04:54,820
He got shot.
My sorrys.

96
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,404
No.
Car accident.

97
00:04:57,486 --> 00:04:58,320
Some kid got shot.

98
00:04:58,404 --> 00:05:00,570
Oh, I'm... sorry.

99
00:05:00,653 --> 00:05:01,486
That's okay.

100
00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:03,320
I think it was in Utah.

101
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,903
How's your brother doing?

102
00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:06,237
He's dead.

103
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,279
That's right.
My sorrys.

104
00:05:09,362 --> 00:05:12,112
Look, he had this list of girls.

105
00:05:12,195 --> 00:05:14,070
Well, he wanted
to tell you something,

106
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but never got the chance.

107
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,320
What?

108
00:05:25,695 --> 00:05:28,070
I'm not coming back here.

109
00:05:28,154 --> 00:05:30,154
It's just the first-line chemo.

110
00:05:30,237 --> 00:05:31,611
You'll have better luck
with the second line treatment.

111
00:05:31,695 --> 00:05:33,528
I'm not coming back here,

112
00:05:33,611 --> 00:05:34,820
not on my own, anyways.

113
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,028
Close your eyes.

114
00:05:47,195 --> 00:05:49,486
Take as much time as you want.

115
00:05:50,237 --> 00:05:53,320
Now tell me the story
of the rest of your life.

116
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,320
We leave the building,

117
00:05:57,404 --> 00:05:59,070
we go to the car,

118
00:05:59,154 --> 00:06:02,070
I rip up the parking ticket,
I go home,

119
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:05,028
I flush about 30 pounds
of pills into the toilet.

120
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Keep going.

121
00:06:07,945 --> 00:06:10,320
I eat a bowl of brownie batter.

122
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,695
I remember that I will have
no legacy.

123
00:06:13,778 --> 00:06:15,486
I remember
that I will be forgotten.

124
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:18,945
I remember that I bought

125
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,736
a gray wig to experience
a semblance of old age,

126
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,528
take out my bucket list,

127
00:06:24,611 --> 00:06:29,528
check off "Fucked Mr. Pickles."

128
00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,820
I buy a black dress,

129
00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,987
and wait.
That's it.

130
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Keep going like that wasn't it.

131
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,778
But that's it.

132
00:06:58,112 --> 00:06:59,445
Vivian's not doing well.

133
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Oh.

134
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:03,695
Well, she's quietly dying
of cancer.

135
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It would be weird if she were.

136
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I don't want her to go.

137
00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:12,028
Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course you don't.

138
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This is hers.

139
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Can you make her old?

140
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,862
Keep thinking about

141
00:07:23,945 --> 00:07:26,528
all the conversations
that we're not gonna have.

142
00:07:28,362 --> 00:07:31,445
You know, it's like...

143
00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:34,320
what the story of our life
would be,

144
00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:36,154
yours and mine,

145
00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:39,903
if half the pages
were ripped out.

146
00:07:39,987 --> 00:07:42,862
I-I think I know what you want.

147
00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:46,736
I know you do.

148
00:07:47,987 --> 00:07:49,903
If you ever wanna talk,

149
00:07:49,987 --> 00:07:51,486
about anything,

150
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,362
you can talk to me.

151
00:07:53,445 --> 00:07:55,486
Okay.

152
00:07:56,987 --> 00:07:59,070
I hate what you're doing to me.

153
00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:05,611
I don't want to see
another me on ice.

154
00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:08,695
So I'm gonna put
a stop to all that today.

155
00:08:22,362 --> 00:08:24,820
Hi.

156
00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:26,778
- What's your name?
- Oh.

157
00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:30,112
You want me to sign that, too?
Oh.

158
00:08:30,195 --> 00:08:31,903
You know, she started
her own chapter

159
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,862
of the Pickles Platoon.

160
00:08:33,945 --> 00:08:35,695
She organized a blood drive

161
00:08:35,778 --> 00:08:38,237
after the Waco killings.

162
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,736
She filled three trucks
of blood.

163
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,362
Wow, that's a lot of blood.

164
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:47,486
That's her twin Sara
in the otter.

165
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,945
Hm.

166
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,028
I didn't know

167
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,320
she had a twin sister.

168
00:08:51,404 --> 00:08:52,945
Hm.

169
00:09:03,903 --> 00:09:05,404
Who wants their jar signed?

170
00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:06,528
I do!

171
00:09:06,611 --> 00:09:07,778
I guess it's

172
00:09:07,862 --> 00:09:08,662
pretty confusing, though,

173
00:09:08,695 --> 00:09:09,862
seeing the me on TV

174
00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:11,778
and the me on the ice

175
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,486
and then the me right here
in front of you.

176
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:15,320
No, you're Mr. Pickles,

177
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:17,736
and that's a woman
in a Mr. Pickles costume.

178
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:19,445
You're Santa for real,

179
00:09:19,528 --> 00:09:21,362
and that's like Santa
at the mall.

180
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:24,070
Mr. Pickles,
Mr. Pickles On Ice.

181
00:09:25,154 --> 00:09:27,736
You're a very intelligent girl.

182
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,653
No, I'm of average intelligence.

183
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,903
I should be smarter.

184
00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:33,653
If we feel good
about ourselves, we can

185
00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:35,486
be anything we want to be.

186
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:38,237
That's exactly
what Ice Pickles said.

187
00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:40,611
She said that?

188
00:09:40,695 --> 00:09:42,112
Mm-hm.
I like her voice

189
00:09:42,195 --> 00:09:44,695
better than yours.

190
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,820
Must be fun,

191
00:09:49,903 --> 00:09:51,112
working with your sister.

192
00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:52,653
Mm?
I work

193
00:09:52,736 --> 00:09:54,320
with my sister too, Sara.

194
00:09:54,404 --> 00:09:56,112
Oh, it's "Sah-ra."

195
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:58,112
Tara does not like me to rhyme.

196
00:09:58,195 --> 00:09:59,778
That's not true.
Just want you

197
00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:01,404
to enjoy your own identity.

198
00:10:01,486 --> 00:10:03,112
Tara let me join the tour

199
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:05,362
after I lost my job in the army.

200
00:10:05,445 --> 00:10:06,778
She was emotionally discharged.

201
00:10:06,862 --> 00:10:08,362
That's not what they call it.

202
00:10:08,445 --> 00:10:10,736
Well, I don't know army words.

203
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:13,570
I developed a battle-based
eating disorder

204
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:15,695
and Tara taught me to ice skate,

205
00:10:15,778 --> 00:10:18,903
because that is her language
of care.

206
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:22,528
Once upon a time, my sister
did a similar gesture for me,

207
00:10:22,611 --> 00:10:24,778
and it changed my life forever.

208
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:25,903
After only two years,
she was competing

209
00:10:25,987 --> 00:10:27,320
at the highest amateur level.

210
00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:28,736
She came in fourth

211
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:29,736
at the Sarajevo co-ed.

212
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:30,903
I tied for bronze.

213
00:10:30,987 --> 00:10:33,112
That is what I said.

214
00:10:33,195 --> 00:10:35,611
I defeated Michel Kwan.

215
00:10:35,695 --> 00:10:37,154
Oh, I've heard of her.

216
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,154
No, you haven't.

217
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,070
He's 47 and French.

218
00:10:40,154 --> 00:10:42,237
Coo-coo-ka-choo.
Coo-coo-ka-choo.

219
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,404
That a Beatles fan
underneath this veil?

220
00:10:44,486 --> 00:10:46,570
That's our parakeet,

221
00:10:46,653 --> 00:10:48,237
Tara-keet.

222
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,778
She says "our,"
but I was the one

223
00:10:50,862 --> 00:10:52,695
that rescued you
from that pet store.

224
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,862
Tara paid for her,

225
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,362
but I picked her out,

226
00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:57,486
because we're both
prone to seizures.

227
00:10:57,570 --> 00:10:58,570
Ah... oh.

228
00:10:58,653 --> 00:11:00,778
Hello, sweetness.

229
00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:02,528
Hello, cute Tara-keet.

230
00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:04,195
Hello.

231
00:11:04,279 --> 00:11:06,611
Hello, sweetness!
Coo-coo-ka-choo.

232
00:11:06,695 --> 00:11:08,279
Look at that!

233
00:11:08,362 --> 00:11:10,404
Your whole family
is a pantheon of talent.

234
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:11,695
Mm.

235
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,154
Ms. Lipinski,

236
00:11:14,237 --> 00:11:15,736
they're asking for both of you.

237
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:17,695
Oh, well,

238
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,279
good luck out there.

239
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:21,404
Um, very proud
of what you're doing.

240
00:11:21,486 --> 00:11:24,903
I'll start walking,
since it takes me longer.

241
00:11:24,987 --> 00:11:29,112
And up.

242
00:11:38,486 --> 00:11:40,695
I know how difficult it must be
for you to let me

243
00:11:40,778 --> 00:11:42,279
represent you
to thousands of young,

244
00:11:42,362 --> 00:11:43,237
impressionable minds.

245
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,237
Yeah.

246
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,237
But as a former Love-tenant

247
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,028
in the Pickles Platoon,

248
00:11:48,112 --> 00:11:49,862
let me say again,

249
00:11:49,945 --> 00:11:51,486
thank you for your faith.

250
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,028
Well, thank you for
mastering my autograph.

251
00:11:56,112 --> 00:11:57,736
- It's all about the P.
- Yeah.

252
00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,695
Gotta watch out.
It can become a D.

253
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,404
Pull the trigger, you fat cunt!

254
00:12:10,404 --> 00:12:12,445
Okay.

255
00:12:12,528 --> 00:12:14,987
Make her old.

256
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:17,445
Ah!

257
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,778
You all right?

258
00:12:37,112 --> 00:12:39,486
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!

259
00:12:39,570 --> 00:12:41,445
Shut up!

260
00:12:47,028 --> 00:12:49,570
Throw up, fat cunt!

261
00:12:49,653 --> 00:12:51,987
Bend the knee, bitch!

262
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,320
Can you say a nice word?

263
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:56,486
You're a whore.

264
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,486
Can you say "love"?

265
00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:03,112
Cunt, cunt, cunt!

266
00:13:03,195 --> 00:13:05,778
Fat bitch, whore.

267
00:13:05,862 --> 00:13:07,112
Say "love."

268
00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:08,695
Love, love.

269
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:11,028
- Oh, love.
- Your name is "Sah-ra,"

270
00:13:11,112 --> 00:13:13,279
not Sara!
Never rhyme, cunt.

271
00:13:15,237 --> 00:13:16,112
Bend the knee, bitch.

272
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:20,653
Cunt, cunt, cunt.

273
00:13:20,736 --> 00:13:22,862
Cunt, cunt.

274
00:13:22,945 --> 00:13:24,987
Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

275
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,987
Cunt, cunt!
Cunt, cunt.

276
00:14:06,362 --> 00:14:10,611
♪ Too much pressure
too soon ♪

277
00:14:10,695 --> 00:14:12,653
♪ Stop the rhythm
with the matter machine ♪

278
00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:14,445
♪ Stop the rhythm with
the matter machine ♪

279
00:14:14,528 --> 00:14:16,237
♪ Stop the rhythm
with the matter machine ♪

280
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,404
♪ Stop the rhythm with
the matter machine ♪

281
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:20,862
♪ Stop the rhythm
with the matter machine ♪

282
00:14:20,945 --> 00:14:22,486
I want my head back.

283
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,362
What?

284
00:14:24,445 --> 00:14:27,195
Your sister is not a whore.
She's a veteran.

285
00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,486
And you should never ask
a bulimic to kneel.

286
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:31,028
It could trigger
her gastric reflex.

287
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:32,820
Please don't take that.
I mean,

288
00:14:32,903 --> 00:14:35,653
I can't see anything
out of it when I'm skating,

289
00:14:35,736 --> 00:14:37,611
but... but the way
people look at you

290
00:14:37,695 --> 00:14:39,653
off the ice.

291
00:14:39,736 --> 00:14:42,445
It's like you're always
wearing a gold medal.

292
00:14:42,528 --> 00:14:44,736
I like being you.

293
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,112
Please.

294
00:14:46,195 --> 00:14:48,862
Attention, Love-tenant.

295
00:14:48,945 --> 00:14:50,820
You are Tara Lipinski,

296
00:14:50,903 --> 00:14:53,279
and you remember the motto
of the Pickle Platoon?

297
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:56,653
No, no, I don't.

298
00:14:56,736 --> 00:15:00,028
Yes.
Yes, you do.

299
00:15:30,903 --> 00:15:32,486
Hello?

300
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:35,404
Pickles On Ice requires
a Mr. Pickles, Jeff.

301
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:37,820
Otherwise, it's just
Tara Lipinski

302
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,820
ice dancing
through a fever dream.

303
00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:42,112
Can I tell you
something I've learned

304
00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:44,486
over the years?
People who are older than me

305
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,653
question what I say.

306
00:15:46,736 --> 00:15:49,445
People who are younger
listen to what I tell them.

307
00:15:49,528 --> 00:15:51,112
That means every day,

308
00:15:51,195 --> 00:15:53,279
I get a little bit
more powerful,

309
00:15:53,362 --> 00:15:55,070
and you get a little older.

310
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,070
What did you say to her?

311
00:15:57,154 --> 00:15:59,486
Do you remember the motto
of the Pickles Platoon?

312
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,445
There's a motto?

313
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,112
"Always be yourself."

314
00:16:38,570 --> 00:16:40,862
Now watch this, Jeff.

315
00:16:40,945 --> 00:16:41,945
A horse?

316
00:16:42,028 --> 00:16:43,611
What do you mean, a horse?

317
00:16:43,695 --> 00:16:45,736
Oh, your horse is named Divorce.

318
00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:48,570
That's a funny name for a horse.

319
00:16:48,653 --> 00:16:51,903
Dee Dee, I bought this dress
in Palermo.

320
00:16:51,987 --> 00:16:54,404
I don't care!

321
00:16:54,486 --> 00:16:56,404
- Just go.
- Stop!

322
00:16:56,486 --> 00:16:57,486
No, just go!

323
00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:01,237
I'll be back, honey.

324
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,528
No, you won't.

325
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,362
I don't care
if I ever see you again!

326
00:17:04,445 --> 00:17:06,404
I have a horse named Divorce.

327
00:17:06,486 --> 00:17:08,320
It's a funny name for a horse.

328
00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:10,195
- Stop.
- I hate you!

329
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,611
- Dee Dee...
- But he's a funny horse.

330
00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,195
- He has a snaggletooth.
- Dee Dee?

331
00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:16,736
If you're gonna go, go.
Get in the car.

332
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:18,736
We know you're not
coming back in two weeks,

333
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,070
and we know you're not
coming back in a million years.

334
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:22,945
I'm going on a short trip.

335
00:17:23,028 --> 00:17:25,486
I'm going to see my sister
in Niagara Falls.

336
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:26,528
I don't believe you!

337
00:17:26,611 --> 00:17:28,362
I need a break, Dee Dee.

338
00:17:28,445 --> 00:17:30,486
- I need a break, Dee Dee.
- I need

339
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:32,945
- time to myself.
- I need time to myself.

340
00:17:33,028 --> 00:17:34,987
- Just go.
- I'm coming back.

341
00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:37,070
You flip over this suitcase,
and maybe I zip you inside,

342
00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:38,611
toss you over the falls.

343
00:17:38,695 --> 00:17:41,237
Maybe there's...
a parachute inside

344
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,945
and you float over the falls.

345
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,862
- Just leave!
- And go...

346
00:17:44,945 --> 00:17:46,070
anywhere you want to go.

347
00:17:46,154 --> 00:17:47,154
Stop.

348
00:17:56,112 --> 00:17:57,945
You don't know
everything, kiddo.

349
00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:09,195
You know everything, Deirdre.

350
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:12,112
You know all there is to know.

351
00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:14,820
I don't want her to go.

352
00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:25,945
I'm sorry I yelled at you.

353
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,445
Will you forgive me, please?

354
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,070
Thank you.

355
00:18:45,987 --> 00:18:47,611
Thank you.

356
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:53,445
I told Dad the thing
you told me not to tell him.

357
00:18:53,528 --> 00:18:55,279
What thing?

358
00:18:55,362 --> 00:18:58,070
The secret handshake
I'm not supposed to talk about.

359
00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:01,820
What did he say?

360
00:19:01,903 --> 00:19:03,528
He started to laugh about it.

361
00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:05,862
Then I told him that I told you,

362
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,653
and he got really quiet.

363
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,903
Hey, uh, Robyn, right?

364
00:19:16,987 --> 00:19:18,570
Yeah.

365
00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,320
Yeah, I used to have
this brother.

366
00:19:20,404 --> 00:19:21,862
Uh, Phil.

367
00:19:21,945 --> 00:19:25,237
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

368
00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:47,987
Oh, I love what you did
with the eyes.

369
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,862
Everything okay?

370
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,778
It's Maddy.
I really...

371
00:19:58,862 --> 00:20:01,154
I mean, I yelled...
I really yelled at her.

372
00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:03,736
I just yelled at her, so...

373
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,695
You're a good mom.

374
00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:18,695
Uh, Jeff?
Hello?

375
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:24,486
Does that mean "sit here"?

376
00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:34,778
Oh, hi there.

377
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:38,112
You must be Vivian the Brave.

378
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,028
My friend Mr. Pickles told me

379
00:20:40,112 --> 00:20:42,154
a lot about you.

380
00:20:42,237 --> 00:20:44,945
Oh, well,
he hasn't mentioned you.

381
00:20:45,028 --> 00:20:49,195
Well, that makes sense,
because I just moved here.

382
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:52,695
My name is Viva Lost Pages,

383
00:20:52,778 --> 00:20:54,653
and I'm the new librarian

384
00:20:54,736 --> 00:20:58,695
in Pickle Barrel Falls.

385
00:20:58,778 --> 00:21:01,987
Are you wearing
my sweater, Viva?

386
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,237
I am.

387
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,987
It's the only sweater I have.

388
00:21:07,070 --> 00:21:08,987
I love it so much.

389
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,778
I'm going to wear it

390
00:21:10,862 --> 00:21:13,903
tomorrow, and the next day,

391
00:21:13,987 --> 00:21:16,486
and the day after that,
and the day after that.

392
00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:20,070
I'm going to wear it here

393
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:24,570
for years and years.

394
00:21:24,653 --> 00:21:27,862
Unless you want it... back?

395
00:21:29,486 --> 00:21:31,778
No, that's okay.
You keep it.

396
00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:32,736
Thank you!

397
00:21:32,820 --> 00:21:34,237
You see,

398
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,778
I love my job,

399
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,279
but I... ah, ah, ah!

400
00:21:39,362 --> 00:21:43,070
Ah!

401
00:21:43,154 --> 00:21:47,778
I'm so clumsy...

402
00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:49,611
...that sometimes I lose
the pages

403
00:21:49,695 --> 00:21:52,028
to the books I'm supposed
to take care of,

404
00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:53,736
and it's so hard

405
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:56,279
to replace them
in the right order.

406
00:21:56,362 --> 00:21:57,695
That means

407
00:21:57,778 --> 00:21:59,778
I'm always finishing

408
00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:02,695
other people's stories.

409
00:22:02,778 --> 00:22:04,820
Maybe you can help me.

410
00:22:07,945 --> 00:22:10,279
Yeah, maybe it's more exciting

411
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:13,112
if some stories end abruptly,

412
00:22:13,195 --> 00:22:15,195
even mid-sentence.

413
00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:17,486
No.

414
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:20,237
I don't think that.

415
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,195
I believe

416
00:22:22,279 --> 00:22:24,653
that even when
the pages are gone,

417
00:22:24,736 --> 00:22:27,862
the story goes on.

418
00:22:30,028 --> 00:22:33,862
♪ None of us knows
how our story will end ♪

419
00:22:33,945 --> 00:22:36,070
♪ The sights we will see ♪

420
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,653
♪ The times we will spend ♪

421
00:22:38,736 --> 00:22:41,154
♪ But if you close
your eyes tight ♪

422
00:22:41,237 --> 00:22:44,820
♪ And say what you see ♪

423
00:22:44,903 --> 00:22:49,611
♪ Your story becomes ♪

424
00:22:49,695 --> 00:22:52,320
♪ What you want it ♪

425
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:55,653
♪ To be ♪

426
00:22:55,736 --> 00:22:58,611
The great book of Vivian!

427
00:22:58,695 --> 00:23:02,903
This-zz is-zz my favorite book!

428
00:23:02,987 --> 00:23:05,778
♪ Maybe it ends-zz
in a party ♪

429
00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:08,862
♪ Maybe it ends
in a cry ♪

430
00:23:08,945 --> 00:23:11,528
♪ Maybe it ends-zz with ennui ♪

431
00:23:11,611 --> 00:23:14,611
♪ Or maybe it ends
with a sigh ♪

432
00:23:14,695 --> 00:23:18,154
♪ Maybe she's left
in a pickle ♪

433
00:23:18,237 --> 00:23:21,445
♪ And if she likes pickles,
that's great ♪

434
00:23:21,528 --> 00:23:24,778
♪ Or maybe it ends
in a meal ♪

435
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:29,028
♪ Where you never know
what's on the plate ♪

436
00:23:29,112 --> 00:23:32,570
♪ Maybe she runs
in a marathon ♪

437
00:23:32,653 --> 00:23:35,528
♪ Maybe she comes in last ♪

438
00:23:35,611 --> 00:23:39,945
♪ Maybe it takes her
eight hours ♪

439
00:23:40,028 --> 00:23:43,320
But compared to a sasquatch,

440
00:23:43,404 --> 00:23:45,195
that's fast.

441
00:23:47,528 --> 00:23:49,903
♪ Maybe it ends
in a wedding ♪

442
00:23:49,987 --> 00:23:54,653
♪ Maybe it ends
in true love ♪

443
00:23:54,736 --> 00:23:57,154
♪ Maybe it ends ♪

444
00:23:57,237 --> 00:23:59,736
♪ With a bunch
of new friends ♪

445
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:03,736
♪ Who give her new ends ♪

446
00:24:04,653 --> 00:24:08,237
♪ To dream of ♪

447
00:24:18,695 --> 00:24:21,237
So now it's your turn

448
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,820
to keep going.

449
00:24:23,903 --> 00:24:27,736
Take ten seconds
and finish your story.

450
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:31,362
Close your eyes.

451
00:24:31,445 --> 00:24:33,070
I'll watch the clock.

452
00:24:40,695 --> 00:24:41,945
I'm...

453
00:24:43,862 --> 00:24:47,112
...on a plane.

454
00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:50,653
Flying first class.
I've never flown first class.

455
00:24:50,736 --> 00:24:53,320
They give you a real fork.

456
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:55,820
Keep going.

457
00:24:58,486 --> 00:25:00,237
I'm on my way to Honduras

458
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,987
to zip-line
through the rainforest.

459
00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:05,528
Keep going.

460
00:25:07,445 --> 00:25:09,778
And there's an area there

461
00:25:09,862 --> 00:25:12,320
called Yoro,

462
00:25:12,404 --> 00:25:15,820
and once a year,
they have a festival...

463
00:25:15,903 --> 00:25:18,028
Lluvia de Peces...

464
00:25:18,112 --> 00:25:21,862
where it rains fish.

465
00:25:21,945 --> 00:25:24,862
It really happens.
They can't explain it.

466
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:33,195
And I've always wanted
to see that.

467
00:25:43,445 --> 00:25:45,195
Keep going.

468
00:25:47,945 --> 00:25:51,570
Keep going.

469
00:25:51,653 --> 00:25:54,195
The universe, we forget,

470
00:25:54,279 --> 00:25:56,695
was not created once

471
00:25:56,778 --> 00:25:58,195
and for all time.

472
00:25:58,279 --> 00:26:01,445
It is created again

473
00:26:01,528 --> 00:26:03,570
every single day

474
00:26:03,653 --> 00:26:05,736
in each of us.

475
00:26:08,195 --> 00:26:10,279
So every day,

476
00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:11,945
let us wake

477
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:15,653
and light that same fire
of creation

478
00:26:15,736 --> 00:26:18,486
in ourselves.

479
00:26:18,570 --> 00:26:22,903
Be thankful that the darkness
lives there, too,

480
00:26:22,987 --> 00:26:24,862
because without it,

481
00:26:24,945 --> 00:26:28,320
the flicker
would remain invisible.

482
00:26:28,404 --> 00:26:30,070
Light?

483
00:26:30,154 --> 00:26:32,778
Light is in love

484
00:26:32,862 --> 00:26:34,653
with the dark,

485
00:26:34,736 --> 00:26:36,611
and the dark

486
00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:39,404
cannot not chase

487
00:26:39,486 --> 00:26:40,945
the flame.

488
00:27:02,862 --> 00:27:07,570
And because God created
a world in harmony,

489
00:27:07,653 --> 00:27:10,778
he made sure that good and evil

490
00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,778
cannot and will not

491
00:27:14,862 --> 00:27:16,570
devour the other.

492
00:27:54,028 --> 00:27:57,653
♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪

493
00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:10,445
♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪

494
00:28:10,528 --> 00:28:12,736
♪ My face on down ♪

495
00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:14,486
♪ In reverse ♪

496
00:28:14,570 --> 00:28:17,736
♪ Playing to last year's I. ♪

497
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,320
♪ In apprehension ♪

498
00:28:19,404 --> 00:28:21,486
♪ Of the frigid air machine ♪

499
00:28:21,570 --> 00:28:24,611
♪ Will he make a monkey
out of me? ♪