1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,560 Previously on Kidding... 2 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:01,600 Where's the party? 3 00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,440 To each his own. 4 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,520 My last meal gonna be a T-bone 5 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:46,190 and some licorice rolls. 6 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:15,840 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 7 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,680 They say time, 8 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,560 and space are both immutable, 9 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,230 governed by laws that cannot be broken. 10 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:52,540 All I have to say to that is... 11 00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:57,220 Laws were meant to be broken, 12 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,020 and that's why they call me... 13 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:04,720 The amazing Pickle-ini. 14 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,480 Oh! 15 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,600 Outstanding. 16 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,090 I am completely bamboozled 17 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,650 by this master magician. 18 00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:16,900 Dad? 19 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:19,030 You're not watching. 20 00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:20,490 I'm sorry, Phil. 21 00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:22,280 You're right. Uh... 22 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,860 Can we take a... brief intermission? 23 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,730 What's wrong, Dad? 24 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:29,730 He isn't paying attention, again. 25 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,780 "My father doesn't want to ask this, 26 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,260 "but it would mean a lot to him 27 00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:35,690 "if you could be there when he passes. 28 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,150 His last wish was to meet you in person." 29 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,000 Sorry, Jeff. Which friend is this? 30 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,730 Uh, this is my pen pal, Joey. 31 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,899 The state of Ohio's gonna execute him 32 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,020 day after tomorrow. 33 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,490 Oh, that friend. 34 00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:50,100 Who's... who's Joey? 35 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,390 - The Wendy's Killer. - Oh. 36 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,899 You know, I've been thinking about it, and I really 37 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,736 - want to attend the ceremony. - Ceremony? 38 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,179 What ceremony? 39 00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:59,520 This is a murderer's execution. 40 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,800 A boy is going to watch 41 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:03,280 his father wheeled into a death chamber. 42 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,879 I don't see why I can't hold his hand 43 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,676 - when I have two to spare. - I don't know, Jeff. 44 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,520 What if you just sit down with the son, 45 00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,680 or... or take the family out for a meal? 46 00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:13,300 Hey, anyone under five feet tall, 47 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,280 let's go look at stuff upstairs. 48 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,720 Me too, please. 49 00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:21,600 If you're worried about controversy, 50 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,990 I feel I must remind you 51 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,520 that in 1989, I shared a cup of coffee 52 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,620 with an HIV-positive individual, 53 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,080 and that show won a Peabody Award. 54 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,100 This isn't fighting 55 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:31,490 for social justice. 56 00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,010 They wouldn't round the corners 57 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,890 on this guy's bacon cheeseburger, 58 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,950 and he killed three redheaded women 59 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,320 - with a hammer. - Four. 60 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,400 Phil. 61 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:40,760 Three were with hammers. 62 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:41,916 One was pure strength. 63 00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:44,879 The hammer was a myth. It was a wrench. 64 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,520 Can you please stop cataloguing 65 00:04:46,530 --> 00:04:48,439 the nation's homicides in your spare time? 66 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,530 It's teaching me how to spreadsheet. 67 00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:52,320 When are you leaving? 68 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,280 Why? You want to go to Belize? 69 00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:57,240 I'm not being serious. 70 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,490 Why don't you just write a check, like Dad or Poppy? 71 00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:02,879 Anybody can stuff money in an envelope. 72 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,759 I really... I wanted to build a school for girls. 73 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,279 So now, every time I go, they know my name, 74 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,800 and it's just the most fulfilling week I have. 75 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,070 So the Indica School for Girls was your dream? 76 00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,800 You could say that. 77 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:20,360 So this is a girl called Julietta. 78 00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:21,990 She's 14 here, but 79 00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:24,440 when I met her, she was three. 80 00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:25,720 She didn't even own pants. 81 00:05:25,750 --> 00:05:28,610 She had holes cut into a Doritos bag. 82 00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:30,480 So now, every time I see her, 83 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,760 we go shopping. 84 00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:33,990 You're impressive and inspiring. 85 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,090 She is. 86 00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:39,320 What if I just slip in, 87 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,150 you know, through the back door? 88 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,900 No one would ever have to notice. 89 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,580 I know you want to support your friend, 90 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,150 but some friends murder and don't deserve support. 91 00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,520 People murder because they've never had support. 92 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,820 Lethal injection is wrong. 93 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,460 Isn't that what we believe? 94 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,620 Can I go to the execution? 95 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:57,160 - No, kiddo, you can't. - Please stop asking. 96 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,780 Honey, I know you want to be there, 97 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,440 but victims' families 98 00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,620 attend these things, so if you go, 99 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,340 you'll have to sit next to them. 100 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,899 You'll have to make eye contact with them. 101 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,320 Are you sure you can do that? 102 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,580 I don't know. 103 00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:12,980 I think so. 104 00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:15,260 I believe in forgiveness. 105 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,539 Give this decision 106 00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:19,480 some thought, hm? 107 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:22,360 Not everyone needs a friend. 108 00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,520 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to your magic trick. 109 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,990 Okay. 110 00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,380 Night. 111 00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:39,580 Will? 112 00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:42,360 What are you looking for? 113 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,920 Oh, uh, my, uh, winter clothes. 114 00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:47,600 For what purpose do you need your winter clothes? 115 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,259 I, uh... I want to collect the ones 116 00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,380 that don't fit me as well 117 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,460 and donate them to the indigent. 118 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,240 That's very thoughtful. 119 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:55,679 Thanks. 120 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,070 Hey, want to come down to the kitchen? 121 00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,720 I got something I want to show you. 122 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,240 Okay. 123 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,720 Say when. 124 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,780 Oh, when. When. 125 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,360 Mm. 126 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,740 Shh. 127 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,180 Now, 128 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,490 as you know, 129 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,700 this is the season 130 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,399 for Pickles family giving. 131 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,400 Mm-hm. 132 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:34,840 So, I am going to give this to you 133 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,500 and you get to decide where it goes. 134 00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:41,040 Really? 135 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,140 Any cause you want. 136 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,120 Hi. 137 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,180 You're in anesthesiology, right? 138 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,540 That's me. Peter. 139 00:07:55,550 --> 00:07:57,220 The difference between life and death. 140 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,550 I have a burning question. 141 00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:02,539 I'm curious if the drugs used to lethally inject prisoners 142 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:03,780 are painful or not. 143 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:06,140 Well, the only people that can answer that are dead. 144 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,800 Right. 145 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,660 And standing right in front of you. 146 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,860 Sorry, bad... right. 147 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,499 Think of it as a three-pronged 148 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,960 cocktail, right? 149 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,640 First is potassium chloride. 150 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,060 That's the bad stuff. Imagine getting antifreeze 151 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,460 shot into your arm. 152 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:23,199 Second is thiopental. 153 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,520 That's a barbiturate that's supposed 154 00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:26,400 to kill the pain. 155 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,980 But it's short-acting. It can wear off pretty fast. 156 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,390 Finally, uh, you have pancuronium bromide. 157 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,680 That's a paralytic agent. 158 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:37,319 The problem is, uh, 159 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,190 we don't know if the poor fellow's feeling 160 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:41,340 any discomfort, 'cause... 161 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,780 he's been rendered paralyzed by now, right. 162 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,680 I can't believe all that's legal. 163 00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:48,260 Are you thinking of putting someone to death? 164 00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:49,780 Not anymore. 165 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,500 Anything else I can help you with? 166 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,640 No. 167 00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:56,140 That covers it. 168 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,680 See you around. 169 00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,840 Hm. 170 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,940 Hey, what's your name? 171 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,480 You're right. 172 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,620 I don't want to wade into controversy. 173 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,240 I don't want to make the end of that man's life about me, 174 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,880 or about us. 175 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,080 You're making the better choice. 176 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,160 I do want to send his son the letters 177 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,120 that he's written to me over the years. 178 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,000 They're increasingly eloquent. 179 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,260 He deserves to have them. 180 00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:29,320 They're in the drawer. 181 00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:31,910 Oh, not this one. 182 00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,080 That one. 183 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,760 This one's for non-prison pen pals. 184 00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,720 Yo, Derrell, have you had your break today? 185 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,140 That's McDonald's. 186 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,530 Gina says she's not coming to see Dad. 187 00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:00,260 Her own brother? Why? 188 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,080 - Mom, Mr. Pickles wrote back? - Uh-huh. 189 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,960 - What'd he say? - He's not coming. 190 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,776 He sent back all the letters your daddy sent him. 191 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,439 Guess he don't want them no more. 192 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,560 He invited us to dinner. 193 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,959 Some Chinese restaurant, though. 194 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,360 I hate Chinese. 195 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:13,926 Told you not to get your hopes up high. 196 00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:15,380 That's where your daddy fucked up. 197 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,620 He's still my dad. 198 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,080 And here's what you won. Chicken lo mein. 199 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,600 Well, maybe if we just tell him... 200 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,060 Tell him what? 201 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,499 Your father killed four white women with red hair. 202 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,800 That's a credit score of 8,000. Tell him what? 203 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:27,979 - Tell him why. - Ah, Derrell, 204 00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:30,140 they don't care why he did it. He did it. 205 00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,740 Now come on. 206 00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,040 Mama needs your help. Here. 207 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,830 This is for BlackPeopleMeet. 208 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:50,380 He's over there. 209 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,980 Oh. Sorry, Will. 210 00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:57,620 Yo, Phil. 211 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,680 What's it like, having a dad 212 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,220 who's a psychic pedophile? 213 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,600 Do you mean psychotic? 214 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,000 I mean he's a pedophile who molests children, 215 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,099 but can see into the future 216 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,300 and knows he won't get caught. 217 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:08,900 Oh, you do mean psychic. 218 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,840 Ask your dad if he saw that coming. 219 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,040 Here. 220 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,459 Your nose is bleeding. 221 00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,500 My sorrys. 222 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,340 Thanks. 223 00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,740 We're suspending Phil for three days. 224 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,360 I hear the other kid started it. 225 00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:33,580 Three days sounds appropriate. 226 00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:41,460 - Come on, honey. - I told you, 227 00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:42,720 he wasn't calling me names. 228 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:43,950 He was calling you names. 229 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,370 Well, if I hit someone 230 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,340 every time they called me a kiddy creep, 231 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,140 you'd be visiting me on death row. 232 00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:51,340 I was trying to defend you. 233 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,460 PB and J are ready to teach about opposites. 234 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,300 Wow, look at that. 235 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,200 Oh. 236 00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:59,990 I... can't talk with... 237 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,160 peanut butter in my mouth. 238 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,520 Hey, kiddo. 239 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:06,420 That's my new book. Comes out next year. 240 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,330 I earmarked a chapter for you. 241 00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:09,680 I want you to read it. 242 00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:11,540 Read it carefully. 243 00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:13,280 Okay? 244 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,520 Hey... 245 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:21,200 Will said something to me about you giving him $100,000. 246 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,800 Oh, yeah. 247 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:25,580 So, Phil, 248 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,099 you got a girlfriend yet? 249 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,340 I'm 12. 250 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,910 Well, you know, the first girl 251 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,620 that I ever had a crush on... 252 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,820 her name was Cookie, 253 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,240 and I wanted to kiss her so bad, it hurt, 254 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:41,420 but I didn't want to tip my hand. 255 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:44,640 One day, I read a fortune cookie, and it said, 256 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,910 "Something delicious is gonna happen to you"... 257 00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:49,050 I'm paraphrasing, but it was a sign, 258 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,520 so I wrote her name on the back of the fortune, 259 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,400 and that was all it took. 260 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,420 I dated her all through the sixth grade 261 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,880 and then again in the Navy. 262 00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,760 What was middle school like for you? 263 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,059 They organized us by height, 264 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:03,400 and then they let the tallest one teach the class. 265 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:08,459 You should try out for lacrosse 266 00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:10,300 and get out some of that aggression. 267 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,720 I want to, but Dad won't let us play contact sports. 268 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,420 He'll only let us play Little League. 269 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:17,580 Baseball can be a contact sport too. 270 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,680 Just slide with the spikes up. 271 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,460 The Honeybee Conservancy. 272 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,780 "Imagine a world 273 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,460 "without food or flowers. 274 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,680 "We are a nonprofit that works to sustain bee colonies 275 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,800 "and ensure the future 276 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,400 of our most precious pollinators." 277 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,660 Ah, I'm so proud of you. 278 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,100 This is so important. 279 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,600 Well, right now, I'm just donating, 280 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,180 but when I get older, I wanna 281 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,560 get my hands dirty, like Aunt Deirdre does. 282 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,930 - Hi. - Hi. 283 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,920 Miss Piccirillo, welcome back. 284 00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,620 Looks like we have you for seven days 285 00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,120 in the Queen Victoria suite. 286 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,180 Thank you, Julietta. 287 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:06,760 I'm sorry. No hablo. 288 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,080 Oh, I'm just asking if you want 289 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,640 indica or sativa. 290 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,860 Oh... 291 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,500 I can't get up. 292 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,490 Belize! 293 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,860 Enjoy. 294 00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,180 Mr. Pickles, 295 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,060 - please, enjoy. - Thank you. 296 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,140 Thank you. 297 00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,780 Before we enjoy this delicious meal 298 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,400 with our new friends Derrell and Latrice, 299 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,240 I... Phil. 300 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,070 Please? 301 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:11,900 I'd like to say that sometimes, 302 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,230 it takes a terrible circumstance 303 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,760 to bring good people together, 304 00:16:15,990 --> 00:16:19,479 and I would like to tell the both of you that 305 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,760 the Pickles family is your family. 306 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,800 All right. 307 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,720 So Darryl, how old were you 308 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:32,540 when you started watching Puppet Time with your dad? 309 00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,530 It's Derrell. 310 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:36,190 Oh, okay. 311 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,940 He never seen Puppet Place, 312 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,460 or... or whatever. 313 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,700 His dad never seen it, either. 314 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,759 Oh. 315 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,980 But he liked hearing about it, 316 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,379 and he liked talking with you, Jeffrey. 317 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,480 You really think you can't go, huh? 318 00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:49,520 Well, it's not a matter of... 319 00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:52,260 Thank you so much for understanding. 320 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,619 This kung pao looks spicy! 321 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,340 Mm. 322 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,439 I'm really glad you're with us, Derrell, and it's nice... 323 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,410 What's it like, being the son of a mass murderer? 324 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,720 - Phil! - What? 325 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,480 You said ask good questions. 326 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,380 Where are the bodies buried? 327 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,899 Has he seen the meme of his dad 328 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,080 wearing parachute pants with the caption saying 329 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,090 "It's hammer time"? 330 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,600 - Philip... - It's... hey, it's all right. 331 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,440 It's all good. 332 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,760 He was a real good artist. 333 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,300 He could've been a cartoonist for The New Yorker. 334 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,550 Instead, he was a high school dropout 335 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:26,020 and an unlicensed mechanic. 336 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,320 One day, a man came into the shop, 337 00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,720 noticed my dad could draw. His name was Arnie. 338 00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:33,230 He was a reporter for The Columbus Tribune. 339 00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:35,780 Said Pops might have a shot freelancing for them. 340 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,600 Pops waited by the phone for six months, 341 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,840 but never got a call. 342 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,520 He was 23, 343 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,440 married, with a kid, 344 00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:47,140 and a busload of parking tickets. 345 00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:49,700 The tickets piled up. 346 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,810 It was like, what, $3,000 to get the car back. 347 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,770 No one in my family's ever had 348 00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:57,420 more than $1,000 to their name at any one time. 349 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,020 You know, my dad goes to court, 350 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,270 tries to fight it, loses, 351 00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:04,480 and then, on his way out, 352 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,440 guess who he runs into? 353 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,390 Arnie. 354 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,340 Asked my dad, "Hey, 355 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,620 why didn't you follow up?" 356 00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:14,099 How was my dad supposed to know 357 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,940 that following up was a thing? 358 00:18:16,810 --> 00:18:18,600 Dad gets on the bus, 359 00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:21,979 and he gets out at Wendy's to have a hot meal. 360 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,190 He saw those corners on that bacon cheeseburger, 361 00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:29,690 and he didn't want corners on his cheeseburger. 362 00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:32,040 He just wanted a normal, round hamburger. 363 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:35,480 But she wouldn't give him a normal hamburger. 364 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,560 And he just snapped, man. You feel me? 365 00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:41,660 We don't live how you live, 366 00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:44,270 so we don't know what you know, 367 00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,520 so we can't move how you move 368 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,780 to get what you got. 369 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,060 And all my dad wanted to hear before he go 370 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,860 was that you think he can draw good. 371 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,480 Draw well. 372 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,350 Come here. 373 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,060 You're hurting my arm. 374 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,300 That boy has every reason to ask 375 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:08,460 for everything, and doesn't. 376 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,520 You have no reason to ask for anything, 377 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,906 and you can't keep your mouth shut. 378 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,720 Learn how to keep your mouth shut. 379 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,460 You hear me? 380 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:40,920 So I talked to a colleague 381 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,680 about the lethal injection drugs they use, 382 00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:44,690 and it turns out, they're painless. 383 00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:22,600 _ 384 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,760 That's because you don't see who he is. 385 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,380 You just see who you want him to be. 386 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,930 I just want him to be a normal kid who listens. 387 00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:48,520 How's he supposed to listen when you're screaming at him? 388 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,640 That was not screaming. 389 00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:51,690 He doesn't listen because you don't listen. 390 00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:53,140 - I listen all the time! - And I think that you don't listen 391 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,480 because if you... 392 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,839 I am incredibly interested in everything 393 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,420 that happens to our children. 394 00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,190 Sometimes, it's hard to be him. 395 00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:02,760 Remember who his father is. 396 00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:11,900 Now's the time to ask me something, 397 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,060 if you got something to ask. 398 00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:17,760 Why Jeff Pickles? 399 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:25,220 Ten years ago, I wrote letters to three people: 400 00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:28,180 Bill Clinton, Charles Barkley, and Jeff Pickles. 401 00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:31,400 Only Jeff Pickles wrote me back. 402 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,120 Sometimes, the characters write to me. 403 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,220 The fly is my favorite. 404 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,320 Flies eat shit. 405 00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:46,800 He eat shit every day of his life 406 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,279 and still finds a reason to be happy. 407 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,520 You think Jeff's gonna make it? 408 00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:56,800 Yeah, probably. 409 00:22:00,220 --> 00:22:02,000 I don't know. 410 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,040 Well, we both know I'm not going to heaven, 411 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:09,840 but sometimes, I think that... if I'm lucky... 412 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:14,260 I might end up in Pickle Barrel Falls. 413 00:22:14,340 --> 00:22:15,770 Way Jeff describes it, 414 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,180 sounds like a nice place to live. 415 00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,600 Excuse me. 416 00:22:47,180 --> 00:22:48,890 Is Derrell here? 417 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,800 He's being asked for his last words. 418 00:23:11,050 --> 00:23:12,640 Will we get to hear them? 419 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,540 Normally, there's a microphone, 420 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,300 but it's broken. 421 00:24:27,390 --> 00:24:29,540 Mind if I join you? 422 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:47,180 We can talk, or... eat. 423 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,660 None of those things... 424 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:56,660 The boss says whatever dish you order, 425 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,960 he's gonna name it after you. 426 00:24:59,390 --> 00:25:01,180 Well, 427 00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:03,300 that's a pickle for a Pickle. 428 00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:07,600 I really want franks and beans, but... 429 00:25:07,690 --> 00:25:09,890 I guess if kids order that, 430 00:25:09,980 --> 00:25:12,840 it's not a very healthy choice. 431 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:15,820 I guess I'll have a salad. 432 00:25:15,860 --> 00:25:17,900 You don't want anything? 433 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,640 Did he... 434 00:25:29,730 --> 00:25:32,600 did he have, like, last words? 435 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,680 I couldn't hear him through the glass. 436 00:25:38,230 --> 00:25:40,850 It looked like he said "I can't wait." 437 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,060 I don't know what that meant. 438 00:25:45,140 --> 00:25:47,060 Maybe you do. 439 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:48,620 Yeah. 440 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,190 I do. 441 00:25:57,430 --> 00:25:59,560 Thank you for going. 442 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:04,660 It really meant a lot to him. 443 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,190 He didn't have a lot of friends. 444 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,400 What do you think makes people snap like that? 445 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,040 Like he did? 446 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,390 Everyone has a breaking point. 447 00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:23,690 Yeah. 448 00:26:23,770 --> 00:26:26,060 I feel you. 449 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,640 I'm sorry. 450 00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:34,190 I didn't want to be there. 451 00:26:35,140 --> 00:26:37,460 Derrell, 452 00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:40,350 where do you want to be? 453 00:26:48,390 --> 00:26:50,140 Whoa. 454 00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:52,520 - That's Launch Pad Lake. - Mm-hm. 455 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,700 Can I touch the rocket? 456 00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:55,220 Yeah, but don't push the red button. 457 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,460 We just had the roof fixed. 458 00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:57,810 - You serious? - Derrell. 459 00:26:57,890 --> 00:27:00,110 - How do you do? - How do you do? 460 00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:02,940 My name is Sebastiano Piccirillo, 461 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,420 but everybody calls me Seb Pickles. 462 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,616 Nice to meet you, Mr. Pickles. 463 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:07,940 They call him other stuff too. 464 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,280 You're fired. 465 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,020 I'm gonna go push the red button. 466 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,770 Come on, Phil. Smile. 467 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,810 Throw home! Throw home! 468 00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,100 Phil, don't! 469 00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:52,100 Put your seat belt on. 470 00:27:56,140 --> 00:27:57,199 Seat belt! 471 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,760 It's on! 472 00:28:06,350 --> 00:28:08,000 Mr. Pickles' Puppet Time. 473 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,100 How can I help you? 474 00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:18,100 Please hold. 475 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:39,100 Come on. Let me take you home. 476 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:47,320 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --