1
00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:06,980
Previously on Kidding...

2
00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,110
Maddy!
Piano time!

3
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I'll take her.

4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,230
Did you hand-fuck my husband?

5
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So what's your
second-favorite instrument?

6
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ToyCo has been begging us

7
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,230
for a talking Jeff doll.

8
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This year, we're finally
gonna give it to them.

9
00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:22,360
We're talking the hottest

10
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Christmas gift of the season.

11
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In six weeks,

12
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I'm gonna be dead.

13
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Vivian's not doing well.

14
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My name is Viva Lost Pages.

15
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What's one more Jeff?

16
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There's a difference
between Mr. Pickles-san

17
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of Japan, or Monsieur Cornichon
du France,

18
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or Herr Gherkin von Deutschland.

19
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Sayonara.

20
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Katto!

21
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Arigatou.
Arigatou.

22
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Hai, arigatou gozaimasu.

23
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Kintsugi.

24
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Pickles-san...

25
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Whoa.

26
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I see.

27
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- Whoa.
- Ah.

28
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I'm gonna need a tutorial.

29
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First, what you need to do

30
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:30,940
is just tap the icon.

31
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Put in the name of the person
you want to FaceTime.

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This is gonna be awesome.

33
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Whoa.

34
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Whoa.

35
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Whoa.

36
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Whoa.

37
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This is my friend Vivian.

38
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She wasn't healthy enough
to make the trip.

39
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She wanted to see the ocean.

40
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Hello, Vivian.

41
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Welcome to Los Angeles.

42
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Whoa.

43
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Whoa.

44
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Whoa.

45
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The ocean makes the sunset
look so special,

46
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but you make it spectacular.

47
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The sun is getting jealous.

48
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You're welcome.

49
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Dolphins!
Dolphins.

50
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Do you see the dolphin?

51
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There's a dolphin.

52
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Hey.

53
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We need to talk
before he gets here.

54
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Okay.

55
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You first.

56
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I've been thinking
about this a lot,

57
00:04:12,310 --> 00:04:15,980
and I feel that...

58
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if it would make you happier,

59
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for M-Maddy to take piano again,

60
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then she should take piano,
and I'll just deal with it.

61
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Oh.

62
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She seemed happier.

63
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I don't think that's true.

64
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Plus, she's getting
so good at clarinet.

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- I am?
- Yes, honey.

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I just think she may have

67
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liked piano better,

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and if her heart
is set on piano,

69
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then you just... you can't change
someone's heart.

70
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I think

71
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piano was just a phase.

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You do?

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It was?

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Yes, sweetheart.

75
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I think she was confused.

76
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She was born a clarinet player.

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Piano's just
this weird choice she made.

78
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She was never really
committed to piano.

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She... she probably wishes

80
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she never took piano
in the first place.

81
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Was I not good at piano?

82
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It was awful.

83
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Dee Dee, from now on,

84
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we are strictly

85
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a clarinet family.

86
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I am committed

87
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to making this
a clarinet family.

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You guys need to be
more supportive of my dreams.

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Konnichiwa.

90
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Konnichiwa.

91
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Pikurusu-san desu.

92
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Maddy?

93
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This is Mr. Pickles-san.

94
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He's gonna follow Uncle Jeff
around for a few weeks

95
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,940
and then bring back
what he learned to Japan.

96
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And occasionally babysit.

97
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Oh, I'm... I'm sorry
Jeff couldn't host you.

98
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His living situation
isn't optimal

99
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to board guests right now.

100
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My... English I...
Mm...

101
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Not amazing.

102
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Sado-Shimi.

103
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Sado-Shimi?

104
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Sou.
Sado-shimi.

105
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Thank you.

106
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Thank you.

107
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Arigatou.

108
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I have a message, all right,

109
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but I don't know
if they're gonna like it.

110
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We're ready to record
whenever you're ready.

111
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:47,520
Okay.

112
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All of history

113
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travels on the human voice.

114
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Amplified, it can shear
a man in half,

115
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sentence 2 million Polish Jews
to Dachau,

116
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or spread the Book of Matthew

117
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from Mount Zion
to a Roman river.

118
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Thousands of malleable minds

119
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will rip this doll
off the shelf,

120
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and I don't know
if they'll see it

121
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as a god or gremlin.

122
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But...

123
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I won't drop nightshade
into children's ears.

124
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Um, so, I don't think
we're allowed

125
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to stray
from the approved script.

126
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I'd like to,

127
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if that's all right.

128
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Of course.
What do you want to say?

129
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Allahu akbar!

130
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Allahu akbar?

131
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No, I don't like those words.

132
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They scare the dirt off of me.

133
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Well, maybe
they'll be less scary

134
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if we explain what they mean.

135
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Allahu akbar is an expression

136
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that means
a lot of different things.

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Mainly, it's used as a greeting,

138
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like we say "Hello,"
"good-bye."

139
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Or... "aloha"?

140
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That's right, Uke-Larry.

141
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So if we went to Hawaii,

142
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we could say,
"Aloha-u akbar."

143
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Um... Sure.

144
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Allahu akbar.

145
00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:20,650
Forced to leave
their homes at gunpoint

146
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,230
and march on foot
with whatever they could carry.

147
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It led to the deaths
of over 20,000

148
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Indigenous Americans.

149
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"Indigenous"?

150
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Indigenous.

151
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That means they were here first.

152
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The Cherokees called this
the Trail of Tears.

153
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Oops.

154
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That's right, Oops.

155
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Even governments make mistakes.

156
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Disconnect the teleprompters.

157
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I did.
That's just him talking.

158
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Grace and I
wrote him a powerful scene

159
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,190
in which Snagglehorse
goes apple-picking,

160
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:57,060
and he wrote,
"Despair is an eagle."

161
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What does that mean?

162
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:04,270
Without a diverse group
of meaningful relationships,

163
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we can't see certain populations

164
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as actual people,

165
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and we subconsciously
tune them out.

166
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And your depression is something

167
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you should never
be afraid to talk about

168
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with the people you love,

169
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because if they really
love you...

170
00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:20,230
They'd tell you
that Ronald McDonald

171
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,060
wants to walk our black youth
into a food desert

172
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,400
and leave them there
without their pants on,

173
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because he wants
to charge you for water

174
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,360
and he wants
to charge you to pee.

175
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Don't expect compliments
from an insecure person.

176
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Too many people think
this country's

177
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a stone-cold gray corpse,

178
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but it's not.

179
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It's a living,
breathing organism.

180
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And we've got to keep kicking it

181
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:47,980
to make sure it's alive.

182
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:49,690
Yee-haw!

183
00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,980
For every 90 minutes
of footage we shoot,

184
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,860
only 12 are borderline usable,

185
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,690
and that's before we cut out

186
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,650
the veiled Marxism
and songs about genocide.

187
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Whoo... hoo!

188
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,400
The show was right there

189
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beneath the surface
the whole time

190
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,270
I thought it was an end,

191
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,110
but it was just a rust

192
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:14,110
oxidized over the beginning.

193
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:21,110
Sorry.
I forgot my eyeballs.

194
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,190
Thank you.

195
00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:33,110
Allahu akbar.

196
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,730
Good night.

197
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,860
He can do whatever he wants.

198
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:46,900
Say whatever he wants.

199
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,190
Maybe I want to look in a lens

200
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:50,730
and scream a little.

201
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,730
Not that they'd let me
near a camera.

202
00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:57,560
Sometimes, I... I'm Soap Scum's

203
00:10:57,650 --> 00:10:59,810
limp right hand, and even then,

204
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,650
it's obscured
by a shower curtain

205
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,690
that... I created
in my dorm room.

206
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,560
The true artist...

207
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:13,310
is both victim and warrior.

208
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,110
You speak English?

209
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,730
I'm not speaking English.

210
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,650
Oh.

211
00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,690
What makes your puppets special

212
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:44,440
is the life you put
inside of them,

213
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,060
not the people
hiding behind them.

214
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,980
What's your real name,
Pickles-san?

215
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,940
Mm, who I was doesn't matter.

216
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,770
I'm Pickles-san now,

217
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,150
always and forever.

218
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:08,980
Maybe we both like to hide.

219
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:13,020
I hide from myself all the time.

220
00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:16,360
I think that's why
I married Scott.

221
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,400
He's...

222
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,150
I didn't want to know myself,

223
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:23,650
so I chose a man
who could never know me.

224
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:28,270
He's the one who wanted kids.

225
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,980
I only exist

226
00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:31,310
for other people:

227
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,020
Maddy and Scott and Jeff

228
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:35,730
and my dad and...

229
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:41,190
It's easy to exist for them,

230
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:45,690
because I don't know how
to exist for myself.

231
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:50,270
I don't know how to want.

232
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,610
I'd rather bleed
in front of a doll

233
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:56,190
than live in front of my family.

234
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:01,900
That's how I grew up.

235
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:06,270
We are a family
who loves from afar.

236
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,900
But loving others
from afar means

237
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:11,810
what they give you in return
is always at a distance.

238
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:15,860
I'm better from afar.

239
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:18,310
I'm all scars up close.

240
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,440
You know of kintsugi?

241
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,810
Hm?

242
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,810
It is the practice of making art

243
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:28,190
by breaking something special

244
00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:31,190
and gluing it back together
with gold.

245
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,110
Your scars

246
00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:35,480
do not mean you are broken.

247
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,110
They are proof you are healed.

248
00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:40,150
Breaking is healing.

249
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,480
Kintsugi.

250
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:46,520
Kintsugi.

251
00:13:58,150 --> 00:13:59,690
I don't want you to think
that I chose somebody

252
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:01,230
who wouldn't be alive very long

253
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:04,980
because I thought we
were gonna get back together.

254
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,060
I didn't think that.

255
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,400
Usually, when your husband

256
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,730
starts dating a younger woman,

257
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:13,400
it reminds you
of your mortality.

258
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,020
Not this time.

259
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,980
I'm sorry if my actions
hurt you in any way.

260
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:23,900
Hey, I found
my next relationship

261
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,650
in a hospital hallway.

262
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,520
Maybe I led by example.

263
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:29,440
When I first saw Peter,

264
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,560
it was like watching
the "Challenger" explode,

265
00:14:31,650 --> 00:14:34,230
but you knew what you needed,

266
00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,980
and he put so much color
back in your cheeks.

267
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:39,400
Thank him for me.

268
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,060
Jeff, you know, nine times
out of ten, when someone

269
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,360
walks through that doorway,
they've just gotten

270
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,270
the worst news
that they will ever get

271
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:51,150
in their life.

272
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:54,690
So it would be best for her

273
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:57,190
if you could find a way
to convey that

274
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:59,520
her struggle

275
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:01,730
is your struggle.

276
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,860
We still have to deal
with Thursday.

277
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:11,730
I'd like you to come over
to Dee Dee's,

278
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,360
bring Peter.

279
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,810
You open to that?

280
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,110
- Yeah.
- Mm.

281
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,560
That was easier
than I thought it would be.

282
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:32,110
Whatever you need,
I'm here for you.

283
00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:37,730
The... second line
of treatment pushed

284
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,360
my white blood cell count

285
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,690
past the point of remission.

286
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:47,270
I'm in remission.

287
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,400
I love you so much.

288
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:55,230
Oh, my God.

289
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,900
I have so many credit cards
to pay off.

290
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:07,770
I am so, so happy

291
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,810
to hear the good news
about your health.

292
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,190
Thank you.
I'm... Vivian, by the way.

293
00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:14,770
I'm Seb.

294
00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:18,860
♪ "How Would They Know"
by Margaret Lewis playing ♪

295
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,400
♪ You say ♪

296
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,940
♪ Scarlet's my name ♪

297
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:26,190
Arigatou.

298
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,560
Put that back.
No, no,

299
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,110
we don't do that.

300
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,650
Oh, man!

301
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,110
I think it's a miracle.

302
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,400
If she's okay, Jeff's okay.

303
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,560
If Jeff's okay,
everything's normal again.

304
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:47,060
You think your sister

305
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,190
would let us watch
the National Dog Show?

306
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:50,810
I didn't know
you followed the Natties.

307
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,770
My nana bred two runners-up

308
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,110
and one that just plain
broke her heart.

309
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:58,520
I midwifed
the 2003 Best In Group terrier.

310
00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:00,810
I mean, I say that.
Really, I was just

311
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,520
passing through the kitchen
at the wrong time.

312
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,770
What about last year's
spaniel surprise?

313
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,900
Jaunty, yes.
Jovial, yes.

314
00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:09,560
Champion?
No, sir.

315
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,770
I feel the schnauzers

316
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,860
are under-coifed and overlooked.

317
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:16,480
Ever since the Scandinavians
started breeding them,

318
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,060
I've been thinking,
"When is their moment?"

319
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,860
Thank you.

320
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,980
My dad used to have a drawer
full of jigsaw puzzles.

321
00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,150
Now he has a drawer
full of condoms.

322
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,610
Mm, my mom thinks
I'm drinking grape juice,

323
00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:31,110
but really, it's wine.

324
00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:33,440
I'm going to start
the magic show.

325
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,730
Okay, honey.

326
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:36,310
I said I'm going to start

327
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,650
the magic show.

328
00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:41,150
Whatever.

329
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:43,440
Do you still say your prayers?

330
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:51,480
But... but... wait.
What do you say?

331
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,610
Most of America
eats turkey today,

332
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,060
but my family eats lasagna, too,

333
00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:59,770
because I'm Italian.
Do you like it?

334
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,190
Arigatou.

335
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,980
You know,

336
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:08,560
I had the best blowjob
of my life

337
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:11,270
on the bullet train to Kyoto.

338
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:17,520
Sucky, sucky.
Train, train.

339
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,860
- Hm?
- Fellatio.

340
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:21,980
Yes.

341
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,770
Here's to fellatio.

342
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,360
Blowjob.

343
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,150
Show me the charcoal under-rub

344
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:32,270
of a Swedish show dog,
and I will show you

345
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,940
the infinite potential
of canine husbandry.

346
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,060
That's right, Schnauzer.
Trot that circle.

347
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:39,190
Alvin-Britches
Dropbottom Delight

348
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:41,690
did not come to play
with you haughty bitches!

349
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,560
Vivian keeps talking about us
zip-lining through Honduras

350
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,110
and seeing the fish rain.

351
00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:52,520
You will never forget
the first time

352
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:55,150
you get kamikaze'd
by a red snapper.

353
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:57,060
Sorry, Pickles-san.

354
00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:59,150
Deirdre spent a lot of time
in Belize,

355
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:00,610
working with local populations.

356
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:01,980
Ah.
I mean, I've only

357
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:03,560
used my passport once.

358
00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:05,980
The pain meds are cheaper
in Toronto.

359
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:07,770
- Oh!
- So when

360
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:09,190
are you guys thinking of going?

361
00:19:09,270 --> 00:19:10,980
I was thinking midsummer,
right, Viv?

362
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,770
- Mm-hm.
- Could I come?

363
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,730
Will, sometimes,

364
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,980
couples like

365
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,650
to travel together.
Alone.

366
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:18,560
No, no, no.
The more, the merrier.

367
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:19,860
I want to go.
We have never

368
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,480
taken a vacation as a family.

369
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,860
We should talk about this
closer to June.

370
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:25,360
I want to go to Costa Rica.

371
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,270
I guess all of us could go.

372
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,650
Oh, whoa, I'm in...
you know, if invited.

373
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,730
And Scott could totally
plan this.

374
00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:31,770
My husband is a corporate

375
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,730
travel agent.
This would

376
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:34,060
be his Olympics.

377
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:35,650
Logistics are my aphrodisiac.

378
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,230
What if I pay
for the whole trip?

379
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,980
The Pickles take Honduras.

380
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:39,980
You don't have to do that.

381
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,400
Could we stay in another place

382
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,480
with chocolate-covered fruit?

383
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:43,610
Can I room with Grandpa?

384
00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:45,150
We make T-shirts for everybody.

385
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,440
"Out of the Way:
Pickles on Vacay."

386
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,020
I'll ask Derrell
to plan tomorrow.

387
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:49,810
Seb, this many people,

388
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,190
different last names,

389
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,810
hotel rooms?
Let me handle this.

390
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,610
I'm going alone.

391
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,650
You're right.

392
00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:02,810
We don't have to take
the whole family.

393
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:07,310
It can just be us.

394
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,860
Um, no.
I was gonna tell you later.

395
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,310
I bought a ticket,
and I'm going next week,

396
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,230
by myself.

397
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,900
I'm sorry, Jeff.

398
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:28,270
Just... everything that...

399
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,900
...changed when
everything changed,

400
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,900
and I get to start over.

401
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,150
I look at you,

402
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:37,690
and I see the man
who saved my life.

403
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:42,480
But I also see cancer

404
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,400
and... death.

405
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,770
I look at you,
you remind me of death.

406
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,810
And I have
this gift of time, and,

407
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:56,810
you know, this...

408
00:20:56,900 --> 00:21:00,060
us... it made sense

409
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,110
when time was running out.

410
00:21:05,610 --> 00:21:08,980
Now that I can...

411
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,110
plan ahead, I'm sorry.

412
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:11,560
Those plans don't involve you.

413
00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:13,770
I'm sorry.
They can't.

414
00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:21,730
I understand.

415
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:25,810
I'm...

416
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,110
happy for you.

417
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:34,400
Fuck you!

418
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,150
Yeah, fuck you!

419
00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:37,310
Fuck you, cunt!

420
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,400
Yeah, fuck you!

421
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,610
Fuck you.

422
00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:41,230
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!

423
00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:42,270
Fuck you!

424
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,770
Fuck you, fuck you,

425
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:45,020
fuck you, fuck you!

426
00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:46,360
Fuck you!

427
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,190
Fuck you!
There's no chemo for dengue!

428
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:02,610
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪

429
00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:05,060
♪ And when I'm feeling low ♪

430
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,270
♪ Then I start
to think about ♪

431
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,400
♪ The happiest man I know ♪

432
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,560
♪ He doesn't mind the snow ♪

433
00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:13,860
♪ And he doesn't mind
the rain ♪

434
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:16,310
♪ But all December
you will hear him ♪

435
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,230
♪ At your windowpane ♪

436
00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:20,310
♪ A-singing again
and again and again ♪

437
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,730
♪ And again and again
and again ♪

438
00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:24,480
♪ Christmas is a-coming ♪

439
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,980
♪ And the bells
begin to ring ♪

440
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:30,860
♪ The holly's in the window
and the birds begin to sing ♪

441
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,270
♪ Now I don't take time
to worry ♪

442
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,360
♪ And don't take time
to fret ♪

443
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,480
♪ And the more you give
at Christmastime ♪

444
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,940
♪ The more you'll get ♪

445
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,310
The line

446
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,770
is "Welcome
to Pickle Barrel Falls,

447
00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,060
Viva Lost Pages.

448
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:01,310
Your new forever home."

449
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,770
Just...

450
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:09,650
give me a second.

451
00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:11,650
I can do it.

452
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,400
We don't have to do this today.

453
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:23,150
Mm...

454
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,560
We don't have to keep
Viva Lost Pages

455
00:23:28,650 --> 00:23:33,150
around if it's just gonna
dredge up painful memories.

456
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,190
A woman is gonna live.

457
00:23:38,270 --> 00:23:42,060
That's nothing short
of spectacular.

458
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:55,810
I don't really have an excuse
to come in here,

459
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:57,400
but... you can't
understand me anyway,

460
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,150
unless I'm holding a puppet.

461
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:00,030
I just...

462
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:22,310
May I tell you
the sad and sordid tale

463
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,940
of a queen enslaved by the demon

464
00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:25,310
locked in her vulva,

465
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,190
and the warrior
with a steel penis...

466
00:24:27,270 --> 00:24:29,900
whoosh...
who destroyed this demon?

467
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:30,940
Yes, please.

468
00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:32,060
Have you ever

469
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:33,310
met a new friend

470
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,060
that feels like an old friend?

471
00:24:36,150 --> 00:24:38,690
This...

472
00:24:38,770 --> 00:24:40,980
is Viva.

473
00:24:41,060 --> 00:24:43,860
A new friend.
And Viva,

474
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:46,360
this is Ennui
and Maestro Fermata,

475
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,190
your new friends.

476
00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:50,480
They'll probably feel
like old friends.

477
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,980
Do you have any books
on tartines?

478
00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:54,310
Or Mozart?

479
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,230
I feel lost.

480
00:24:56,310 --> 00:24:58,560
You're not lost.
You're home,

481
00:24:58,650 --> 00:25:01,020
and you can stay
in Pickle Barrel Falls

482
00:25:01,110 --> 00:25:02,730
for as long as you want.

483
00:25:02,810 --> 00:25:04,060
- All done?
- Thanks.

484
00:25:04,150 --> 00:25:06,520
Forever?

485
00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:09,310
That's a long time, but sure.

486
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,980
You get to stay forever.

487
00:25:15,110 --> 00:25:17,060
The great warrior fought his way

488
00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:18,900
guard by guard

489
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:20,560
until he made his way

490
00:25:20,650 --> 00:25:23,940
to the queen's tower.

491
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:26,310
But just before
she could embrace him...

492
00:25:29,310 --> 00:25:31,270
The king arrived on his horse.

493
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,860
Wait, how are you...

494
00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:34,520
Please, don't touch it.

495
00:25:34,610 --> 00:25:36,230
The old ruler explained

496
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:38,520
the door to the castle
had always been open,

497
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:41,650
and it was the queen
who had locked herself away.

498
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,610
- Where's warrior going?
- Home.

499
00:25:45,690 --> 00:25:47,110
The great warrior understood

500
00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:49,810
this was a demon
for the queen to slay.

501
00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:51,690
Anything else
would be infidelity.

502
00:25:51,770 --> 00:25:54,520
The warrior and the queen

503
00:25:54,610 --> 00:25:57,110
are not meant to be.

504
00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:01,400
Will you stay through Christmas?

505
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,190
What the actual fuck?

506
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,400
Just... keep editing

507
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,770
the stuff out
that we don't want to see.

508
00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:16,440
Until when?
The show is seven minutes long.

509
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,270
And it's PBS.
It's not like we could

510
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,730
pad it with commercial breaks.

511
00:26:19,810 --> 00:26:21,020
And what happens
when he goes live?

512
00:26:21,110 --> 00:26:22,480
How do we stop him

513
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,020
from puking his off-brand lunacy

514
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:25,440
all over his shoes,
and your shoes,

515
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,400
- and our shoes?
- Don't worry.

516
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,810
We're not gonna let that happen.

517
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:30,400
Oh, so he's not gonna host
it this year?

518
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,900
Oh, fuck.

519
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:34,440
Oh, fuck!

520
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,440
The National Tree Lighting.

521
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,730
I think it's on CBS this year.

522
00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:40,900
That'll be what,
10 million people watching?

523
00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:43,560
How did December
get here so quickly?

524
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,020
It's not about the money.

525
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,400
It's never been
about the money, Gregory.

526
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,270
It's about doing
the right thing.

527
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,270
$42,000 is a lot of debt

528
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,860
for a woman in her thirties.

529
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:03,110
She has medical bills.
This'll help her heal.

530
00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:04,650
As your accountant,
I can only recommend

531
00:27:04,730 --> 00:27:06,480
what's fiscally responsible.

532
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,310
Maybe we just pay off
the Discover card.

533
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,360
Just pay it all, please.

534
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,860
She's lucky
to have a friend like you.

535
00:27:13,940 --> 00:27:17,060
We all are.

536
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,480
Good-bye.

537
00:28:29,690 --> 00:28:31,610
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪

538
00:28:31,690 --> 00:28:33,610
♪ And when I'm feeling low ♪

539
00:28:33,690 --> 00:28:35,940
♪ Then I start
to think about ♪

540
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,150
♪ The happiest man I know ♪

541
00:28:38,230 --> 00:28:40,270
♪ He doesn't mind the snow ♪

542
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,610
♪ And he doesn't mind
the rain ♪

543
00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:45,020
♪ But all December
you will hear him ♪

544
00:28:45,110 --> 00:28:46,730
♪ At your windowpane ♪

545
00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:48,940
♪ God bless you gentlemen ♪

546
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:50,940
♪ God bless you ♪

547
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,360
♪ If you haven't got
a friendly cat ♪

548
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,190
♪ May God bless you ♪

549
00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:05,650
♪ Christmas is a-coming ♪

550
00:29:05,730 --> 00:29:07,770
♪ And the cider's in the keg ♪