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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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Whenever
I wanted to remember
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what was important in my life
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I used to walk to
the local cemetery.
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1,000 people, probably
more, are buried here.
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Each one ending up in the same
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two square mile patch
of grass for eternity.
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How many people are
still remembered?
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I mean, at what point
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does that last memory
of you disappear?
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Good morning. Sunshine.
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Not morning, Daddy.
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It's very late, after 11.
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I just flew in from Los Angeles.
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Oh.
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You don't look so good.
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Well of course I
don't look so good.
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I'm this close to 80.
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Hm, that is pretty old.
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Yeah.
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I remember when rainbows
were black and white.
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That's how old I am.
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Death isn't knocking on my door,
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it's sitting in the bedroom.
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Don't say that.
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You're fine, you're still here.
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And for a long time, I imagine.
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Always the optimist.
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The Irish in you wants to know
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if the will has been
signed, and it hasn't.
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No, no, you're going to
live a long, long time.
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I'm going to make sure of it.
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Nine months.
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Nine months, what?
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I give it nine months.
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That will give me time to
have one more birthday.
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And then-
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- Nine months, and then what?
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And then I'm off, time to fly.
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I look at this as a
long overdue vacation.
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I'm not listening
to you anymore.
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You don't have to,
that's your choice.
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An unfortunate one,
but don't be mad
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nine months from now if
I say, "I told you so."
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Mm, that is the error
in your plan, dear sir.
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In order to say,
"I told you so,"
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you'd still have to be alive.
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Yeah, well, I stand corrected.
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Nine months nonetheless.
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A baby takes nine
months to be born.
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I'm taking nine
months to say goodbye.
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It's only fair.
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Okay.
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Goodnight, Daddy.
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Mwah.
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Good news, you're
going to live.
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Not for very long, mind you,
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but long enough to be
able to pay my bills.
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Why are you smiling?
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Stop smiling.
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It doesn't suit you very well.
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You're not a smiley kind of man.
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Oh God, it's the
menopause, isn't it?
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It's not menopause.
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Well, I'm waiting.
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Come on, stop smiling like that.
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You're scaring me.
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I'm sorry.
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It's not every day that a
man gets to tell his daughter
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that he's going to
be a grandfather.
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I'm pregnant?
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Yes, you are.
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No, no, can't be, no.
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Well, have you had sex lately?
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A few times.
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Not very memorable, but. What?
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Well then you can.
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And that's how
it's done nowadays.
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I mean, have for
some time actually.
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But I can get you a pamphlet
about it if you like.
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A pamphlet?
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Dad, I can't have a baby.
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I'm too old to have a baby.
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I've been systematically unable
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to raise myself for
the past 40 years.
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How am I going to raise a child?
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You'll have to-
What do I do?
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Stop smoking and
drinking to start with.
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I like to smoke.
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Yeah, you can do it.
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You have to do it.
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I mean, you don't want a baby
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shaped like shrimps now, do ya?
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This cannot be happening.
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I'm too old.
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I'll be like 90 years old
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by the time the thing
goes to high school.
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Well, you're
slightly exaggerating.
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And my tits.
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Dad, my tits.
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Will be fine, I assure you.
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Seriously, dear,
this is a good thing.
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Keys, keys, keys.
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Keys, keys, keys, keys, keys.
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Terri, have
you seen my keys?
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Shoot.
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Shit, shit, shit.
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You mean these?
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Ah, yes, thank you.
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- I'll be late.
- Whoop.
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How about you take your
ever-loving girlfriend
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with you, please.
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Listen, I know what
you're doing, okay?
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Please?
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And meeting my
family at a funeral
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is probably a terrible idea.
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They're eccentric, so just no.
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Look, we can say
we're just friends.
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And I promise, no smooching
in front of the dead guy.
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Okay, yeah, listen.
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Okay, listen.
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I know what you're doing, I
do, and I love you for it,
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but I don't want to go and you
certainly don't want to go.
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Okay, here, I'm going
to help you with this.
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Okay, I'm late, but.
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Okay, you know
what, no, I'm late.
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I don't have time for this.
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I gotta get going.
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Here, give me one
kiss, give me one kiss.
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Okay, you know what,
this is happening.
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You're late.
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I know, I'm sorry.
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Sorry isn't going to
help out Uncle Charlie.
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You know what, you're right.
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Uncle Charlie.
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I'm going to go home
and shag some more.
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You tell the whole family
I was here, won't you?
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Mm, that better have
been involuntary.
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My body may have
a mind of its own
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but at least I managed
to get it here on time.
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Now behave yourself.
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Or I may have to accidentally
assault you again.
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And what did I miss?
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So far we've had
three eulogies,
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all from people
that never met him.
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One of them kept
calling him Charlton
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and talking about how
good of a person he was.
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Clearly never met the man.
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Aunt Margaret's up next.
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You're kidding me.
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I remember Larry
as a kind man.
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Larry?
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Not the biggest
penis I've ever seen.
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But he used it well.
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Yeah, of course
he named his own cat Catie.
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Like Katie but Catie.
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I just find it weird
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that you put it
on your backpack.
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- Ridiculous.
- Because I love her.
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Ah, ah, ah, ah, Dave.
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It's my turn for the bed.
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Don't get too comfortable.
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Hey, you coming?
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We got some beer.
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All right.
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You guys ready to party?
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Yeah, oh.
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Yeah, we can fix
that in a jiffy.
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I need you to close
your eyes for a second.
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Oh, perhaps it
would be a good idea
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if we all closed our eyes.
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Maybe it's better if I just-
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- No, no, no, I didn't mean me.
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I meant your friends here.
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You have somehow managed to do
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what almost nobody's been
able to do in nearly 50 years.
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Shooting your ear off
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while killing a pigeon
with the same bullet.
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Impressive.
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Americans and your guns.
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Probably born with
one up your arse.
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Our father was
Canadian actually.
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Oh really?
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Well that would explain that
lack of aim now, wouldn't it?
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My late 40s, too old
for this baby nonsense.
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You are too.
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I hope you're not saying
what I think you're saying.
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You're seriously
considering keeping it?
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You're not seriously
considering me not keeping it?
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00:09:16,231 --> 00:09:17,733
We talked about this before.
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00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,602
And we always said we'd
keep it if it happened.
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And God knows it
happened, Gordon.
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I'm not puking my brains out
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for the past week for no reason.
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That was 10 years ago.
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You know, when we were both
young enough to have children.
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Barely sexual now.
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00:09:34,049 --> 00:09:36,051
I'm surprised you're
pregnant at all.
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00:09:37,252 --> 00:09:38,987
Charlie Chaplin was
something like, what,
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80 years old when he
had his last child?
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Yeah, and he died soon after,
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leaving a young child behind.
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Look, Laurel, don't
get me started.
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We're not having a baby.
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You can't even look after
a dog, let alone a baby.
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You're either taking the
both of us or neither of us.
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Your choice.
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Daddy!
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Don't even ask.
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Come on, yeah, come in.
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Oh, don't kick the cat, dear.
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She doesn't like that.
213
00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:21,363
That was absolutely
scrumptious.
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00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:23,232
You know, you really should
consider cooking for a living.
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00:10:23,298 --> 00:10:25,334
Oh, strangely enough,
I do cook for a living.
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00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,903
Oh well then, congratulations,
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you've found your life's path.
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00:10:29,104 --> 00:10:31,039
Speaking of life's path,
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00:10:31,106 --> 00:10:34,376
do you think it's about
time I meet your family?
220
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:37,746
No, you don't want to do that.
221
00:10:37,813 --> 00:10:40,516
I mean, they're ogres,
they're evil really.
222
00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:44,486
Uninteresting people,
insufferable bores, general retards.
223
00:10:44,553 --> 00:10:46,088
Jack, we've been
dating for six months
224
00:10:46,154 --> 00:10:47,756
and they don't
even know I exist.
225
00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:51,393
They do know you exist.
226
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:55,631
They're just terribly upset at
the fact that I am dating a-
227
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,100
- A pretty blonde?
228
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:00,736
Yes. They hate
blondes, they really do.
229
00:11:00,802 --> 00:11:02,271
It's a family tradition.
230
00:11:03,305 --> 00:11:05,774
My grandfather, he was
killed by a blonde.
231
00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:07,609
And they never found
out who the killer is
232
00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:08,710
so there's been an innate
fear of blondes ever since.
233
00:11:08,777 --> 00:11:10,178
Blondes?
234
00:11:10,245 --> 00:11:11,647
Yes, yeah,
especially pretty ones.
235
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,348
Your whole family
is afraid of blondes?
236
00:11:13,415 --> 00:11:17,386
Mm-hm, yeah, yeah,
except for me obviously,
237
00:11:17,452 --> 00:11:19,521
'cause I've had to
work at it, so yeah.
238
00:11:20,355 --> 00:11:22,524
Ah, well, maybe
they can work at it.
239
00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:25,294
No, no, I don't think so.
240
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,530
I mean, they do kill all
blonde babies born, so.
241
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,007
Your family kills
blonde babies?
242
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,875
Yeah, yep.
243
00:11:39,943 --> 00:11:42,811
But there are a lot
of babies born blonde
244
00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:45,547
and then when they grow older,
their hair changes color.
245
00:11:45,614 --> 00:11:47,649
You're not buying a
word of this, are you?
246
00:11:47,716 --> 00:11:48,617
No, not one.
247
00:11:51,687 --> 00:11:52,588
Yeah.
248
00:11:54,122 --> 00:11:55,223
Morning, dear.
249
00:11:56,525 --> 00:11:57,225
Daddy.
250
00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:01,730
May I say that you look
absolutely dreadful this morning.
251
00:12:01,797 --> 00:12:02,764
Thank you.
252
00:12:02,831 --> 00:12:04,466
Oh, no need to thank me.
253
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:07,202
I just wanted it noted that
you do indeed look like shit.
254
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:08,770
You are not helping.
255
00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:11,074
Well, I could suggest to
a shower or some makeup.
256
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:13,241
- But after that-
- Daddy.
257
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:14,343
Yes, pumpkin.
258
00:12:14,409 --> 00:12:16,745
- Shut up.
- Well said.
259
00:12:16,812 --> 00:12:17,779
And shut up I will.
260
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:21,416
But if you decide at some point
261
00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:26,254
that you'd like to discuss
you turning up at my door
262
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:31,526
at 2:00 a.m. with two
large bags of clothing,
263
00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:34,730
I'd be happy to partake
in that conversation.
264
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,797
I'm sorry.
265
00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,535
This, it's just a
mess with Gordon
266
00:12:40,602 --> 00:12:43,505
and this whole baby fiasco.
267
00:12:43,572 --> 00:12:45,474
Maybe I should
just get rid of it.
268
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:47,409
What do you think?
269
00:12:48,777 --> 00:12:52,547
I can honestly say that
my decision has always been
270
00:12:52,614 --> 00:12:54,783
to err on the side
of giving it a go.
271
00:12:57,786 --> 00:13:00,355
Worst case scenario,
41 years later
272
00:13:00,422 --> 00:13:03,625
they show up at your door
at two in the morning
273
00:13:05,128 --> 00:13:06,728
telling you to shut the hell up.
274
00:13:07,462 --> 00:13:12,768
I'll see you later.
275
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,369
You love her?
276
00:13:14,436 --> 00:13:15,771
Of course I love her.
277
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,606
Not as much as this
egg salad sandwich.
278
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,108
Thank you for bringing
it, by the way.
279
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,710
But yeah, almost as much.
280
00:13:21,777 --> 00:13:25,982
If she sails your boat,
you should sail off with her.
281
00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:29,584
You know, if she beats
your drum, you should beat-
282
00:13:29,651 --> 00:13:33,022
- As much as I love your
metaphors and your witticisms,
283
00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:35,323
it's just not that simple.
284
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:36,625
Why is it so hard?
285
00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:40,096
You just tell her
that you love her.
286
00:13:40,163 --> 00:13:41,697
And then you get married
287
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:45,367
and you shag her 3.2 times
a week for the first year.
288
00:13:45,434 --> 00:13:47,904
And then you have a baby.
289
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:50,073
And then I'm a nappy
king for two years.
290
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:53,375
Probably longer, because
most women want two.
291
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,310
So four years then.
292
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,579
But knowing you,
Sir Shags-a-Lot,
293
00:13:57,646 --> 00:13:59,182
there'll be a surprise
baby in there somewhere.
294
00:13:59,247 --> 00:14:01,017
So, you know, you
better make it six.
295
00:14:01,084 --> 00:14:02,118
Six years?
296
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:03,618
Oh my God, are you kidding me?
297
00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:05,754
You just
get it snipped.
298
00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:07,756
Snipped?
299
00:14:10,659 --> 00:14:12,794
I did them all myself, huh?
300
00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:16,199
I kinda fancy myself
a closet artist.
301
00:14:16,264 --> 00:14:19,401
You know, who knows, maybe
I went into the wrong field.
302
00:14:19,468 --> 00:14:22,370
Okay, so what's the
matter with him, doc?
303
00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:23,906
Well, for starters,
he keeps shooting
304
00:14:23,973 --> 00:14:25,240
his frigging ears off.
305
00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:26,608
I mean, I would
consider that to be
306
00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:28,510
his biggest problem
at the moment.
307
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,512
This isn't anything new.
308
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:34,016
He's been trying to
kill himself for years.
309
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:35,484
Oh well, that would explain
310
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:37,652
the multiple shootings
now, wouldn't it?
311
00:14:37,719 --> 00:14:39,922
What can we do about it now?
312
00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:41,757
For starters, take
the gun away from him.
313
00:14:41,823 --> 00:14:43,792
It makes it harder, you know,
to shoot one's ears off.
314
00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:46,595
Yeah. but is there
anything we can do about it?
315
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:47,930
Well, I think a
better question is,
316
00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:49,731
is there anything
he can do about it?
317
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:51,466
Well, we're supposed to
be in Montreal next week.
318
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:54,137
I mean we're on a
year-long road trip, so.
319
00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:58,306
Oh no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't.
320
00:14:58,373 --> 00:15:00,109
I wouldn't leave
until he's better.
321
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:04,279
You know, perhaps we
can have him evaluated,
322
00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:05,847
mentally I mean.
323
00:15:05,915 --> 00:15:07,549
You know, I have a friend
at the Wellesley Clinic.
324
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,118
He could to assess him for you.
325
00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:12,021
Look, doc, we don't really
even have enough money
326
00:15:12,088 --> 00:15:14,123
to stay in Canada much longer.
327
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:17,592
Pretty soon Peter is going
to have to start stripping.
328
00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:18,760
Tits are too small.
329
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:23,398
Oh, I have an idea.
330
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,202
I have to go back
to Los Angeles.
331
00:15:26,269 --> 00:15:27,203
You're a writer.
332
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:28,204
You can write anywhere.
333
00:15:28,271 --> 00:15:29,571
You can write here.
334
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:34,776
You can't go back until,
you know, I.
335
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:38,446
I got eight months.
336
00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:40,549
That isn't too much to ask for.
337
00:15:40,615 --> 00:15:42,717
No, no, no,
you're going to live
338
00:15:42,784 --> 00:15:44,452
a lot longer than
that and you know it.
339
00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:45,754
And this is unfair to me.
340
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,191
I have to get back to work.
341
00:15:48,257 --> 00:15:49,258
But you're a writer.
342
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:50,893
You can do that right here.
343
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,262
You don't have to go
back there to write.
344
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:57,200
I went to California with
Mom because I hate it here.
345
00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:59,601
It's just so much blah.
346
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,837
I can't write, it's too cold.
347
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:05,807
You know, blah can be
very good for a writer.
348
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:09,811
It forces you into
the writing mode.
349
00:16:12,714 --> 00:16:15,985
All right, I will
make you a deal.
350
00:16:17,619 --> 00:16:19,088
I will stay awhile,
351
00:16:19,155 --> 00:16:21,924
but you can't get mad
when I leave later, deal?
352
00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:26,896
- Your move.
- Deal?
353
00:16:26,963 --> 00:16:27,863
Your move.
354
00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:38,908
Oh bollocks.
355
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,145
Can you tell me why
you feel that way?
356
00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:46,848
Is there something in
particular that triggers it?
357
00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:56,092
I really don't know
why I feel this way.
358
00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:58,793
If I did, I probably
wouldn't be here, right?
359
00:17:01,898 --> 00:17:06,135
Well, perhaps you
should just try taking it
360
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:10,639
one day at a time,
simplify things.
361
00:17:10,705 --> 00:17:13,175
Take one breath, one step.
362
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,809
Don't try to overthink it.
363
00:17:15,945 --> 00:17:17,914
Sometimes depression
is just something
364
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:20,515
you need to work
through using therapy.
365
00:17:21,951 --> 00:17:22,851
Mm-hm.
366
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,189
Your friends are
very concerned.
367
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:28,391
I don't care.
368
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:29,992
They can leave if they want.
369
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,866
If they wanted to, I assure
you they'd already have.
370
00:17:45,174 --> 00:17:47,977
Mm, something
smells delicious.
371
00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:49,178
What is that?
372
00:17:49,245 --> 00:17:50,812
You're going to
get a fork in the eye
373
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,148
if you don't back off
until I'm finished.
374
00:17:52,214 --> 00:17:54,649
A fork, wow, that
sounds violent.
375
00:17:54,716 --> 00:17:56,085
Maybe I'll just stop
by the sushi place
376
00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:57,652
for a little takeout, huh?
377
00:17:58,486 --> 00:18:00,488
Fine, grump.
378
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,126
Mm, mm, scrumdiddlyumptious.
379
00:18:06,528 --> 00:18:08,030
What is that?
380
00:18:08,097 --> 00:18:10,900
Oh, it's reindeer testicles,
a Norwegian delicacy.
381
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:13,568
It's chicken.
382
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,237
Chicken, you dick.
383
00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:16,838
Mm, I'm sorry.
384
00:18:16,906 --> 00:18:18,975
I'm sorry, I didn't, I thought-
385
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,077
- You thought I was serving
you reindeer testicles?
386
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,644
What, are you drunk?
387
00:18:22,711 --> 00:18:24,246
What? No, I'm not drunk.
388
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,548
I've just been thinking
about my testicles a lot today.
389
00:18:26,614 --> 00:18:30,252
You've been thinking about
your testicles all day today?
390
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,121
Yeah, but not in a weird way.
391
00:18:32,188 --> 00:18:33,889
In like, I don't know,
392
00:18:33,956 --> 00:18:37,525
no nappies makes me
happy kind of a way.
393
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,963
Are you trying to
tell me something?
394
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:43,299
What? No, no.
395
00:18:43,366 --> 00:18:45,301
I'm just, I'm trying
to figure my life out.
396
00:18:45,368 --> 00:18:47,836
And you don't think
that discussing that
397
00:18:47,903 --> 00:18:50,339
with your girlfriend
is important?
398
00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:54,110
Well, I mean, technically
they are my testicles, so.
399
00:18:56,312 --> 00:18:57,645
You don't want to have kids?
400
00:18:57,712 --> 00:18:59,248
What? No.
401
00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:00,648
I never said that.
402
00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,084
It's not that I don't
want to have kids.
403
00:19:03,953 --> 00:19:06,521
It's that you don't
want to have kids with me.
404
00:19:08,057 --> 00:19:09,158
What? No.
405
00:19:09,225 --> 00:19:10,625
I never said that.
406
00:19:11,327 --> 00:19:12,328
Please don't cry.
407
00:19:12,395 --> 00:19:13,896
I'm allowed to cry, okay?
408
00:19:13,963 --> 00:19:15,597
You just told me you'd
rather cut off your pecker
409
00:19:15,663 --> 00:19:17,233
than have kids with me.
410
00:19:19,135 --> 00:19:20,036
You can eat alone.
411
00:19:23,072 --> 00:19:27,842
David is what we call
clinically depressed.
412
00:19:28,810 --> 00:19:30,578
But what worries me
mostly, obviously,
413
00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:35,850
is that he continues to
express suicidal wishes.
414
00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:39,188
Oh, we can medicate to help
control the depression.
415
00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:43,792
But the need to hurt himself
will continue, I'm afraid,
416
00:19:43,858 --> 00:19:46,529
until we get to the
source of the problem.
417
00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:49,165
He's been like
this a long time.
418
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,100
He's worse on this trip.
419
00:19:52,368 --> 00:19:54,803
We thought, quite frankly,
that it would help.
420
00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:58,673
How young was he
when all this started?
421
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:02,677
Um, 14, maybe 15.
422
00:20:03,446 --> 00:20:05,680
And how many attempts.
423
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:12,288
Altogether, 20, maybe 30.
424
00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:13,855
30?
425
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:17,193
Unbelievable.
426
00:20:18,994 --> 00:20:21,596
And he hasn't been
hospitalized till now?
427
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:27,069
Well, he hasn't been successful
428
00:20:27,136 --> 00:20:29,637
so we can count
that as a blessing.
429
00:20:30,973 --> 00:20:33,808
Or maybe it was just that was
430
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:37,079
a cry for help,
a very large cry.
431
00:20:40,116 --> 00:20:43,385
Let's not try to let
it hit 31, shall we?
432
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,088
What about your family?
433
00:20:47,556 --> 00:20:48,690
They're all dead.
434
00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:52,094
We're all he has left.
435
00:20:53,395 --> 00:20:55,797
Well, I'm sure that's
all he needs too.
436
00:21:00,503 --> 00:21:04,907
So I'd like to keep
him for a month or two.
437
00:21:04,974 --> 00:21:08,077
This simply cannot continue.
438
00:21:09,078 --> 00:21:11,113
Oh, you can visit him
anytime you want, but.
439
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:17,119
Do you have anywhere to
stay in the meantime?
440
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:41,644
What?
441
00:21:41,709 --> 00:21:43,811
Is this Dr. Leaver's house?
442
00:21:43,879 --> 00:21:44,947
Yes, it is.
443
00:21:45,548 --> 00:21:46,482
Look, I'm very sick.
444
00:21:46,549 --> 00:21:47,782
What can I do for you?
445
00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:49,051
We're Dr. Leaver's
new boarders.
446
00:21:49,118 --> 00:21:52,754
Boarders, American boarders?
447
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,423
Oh Christ, no.
448
00:21:54,490 --> 00:21:55,790
Have you lost your mind?
449
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:57,825
Brilliant,
you have us.
450
00:21:57,893 --> 00:21:58,860
Invited
them to stay here?
451
00:21:58,928 --> 00:22:00,496
They can't stay here.
452
00:22:00,563 --> 00:22:02,164
Coming from someone who
never asked to live here,
453
00:22:02,231 --> 00:22:04,233
I'd say that your opinion
means diddly-squat.
454
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:05,367
Go sit down, dear.
455
00:22:05,434 --> 00:22:07,002
You got vomit on your chin.
456
00:22:07,069 --> 00:22:09,071
Come on in, bring your bag.
457
00:22:09,138 --> 00:22:11,407
You actually said that, aloud?
458
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,875
It was your idea, all right?
459
00:22:13,943 --> 00:22:15,177
You're the evil one.
460
00:22:15,244 --> 00:22:16,711
I told her that
my family was evil
461
00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:17,980
and you proved it beyond
a shadow of a doubt.
462
00:22:18,047 --> 00:22:19,515
So you just be
gone, evil spirit.
463
00:22:19,582 --> 00:22:20,983
You're a child.
464
00:22:21,050 --> 00:22:22,351
That's what you are.
465
00:22:22,418 --> 00:22:23,986
You're the same child
you were at 10 years old
466
00:22:24,053 --> 00:22:25,454
when you ran away
from Lucy Michaels
467
00:22:25,521 --> 00:22:27,022
'cause she wanted to kiss you.
468
00:22:27,089 --> 00:22:30,492
She had a huge mustache,
all right, even then.
469
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:32,061
I can't be faulted for that,
470
00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:34,396
because your first kiss
should not be to an otter.
471
00:22:34,463 --> 00:22:36,731
If you want to have
an adult relationship,
472
00:22:36,798 --> 00:22:39,034
you're going to have
to learn to be one.
473
00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:42,071
So you're saying
that horsey rides
474
00:22:42,137 --> 00:22:43,072
and that are out
of the question?
475
00:22:43,138 --> 00:22:44,406
Are you kidding me?
476
00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:49,144
All right, so what about you?
477
00:22:49,211 --> 00:22:50,980
What about me?
478
00:22:51,046 --> 00:22:52,814
Well, you're always
helping me solve my problems.
479
00:22:52,881 --> 00:22:54,016
Let's hear one of yours.
480
00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:56,018
I don't have any problems.
481
00:22:56,085 --> 00:22:58,153
I'm perfectly
happy with my life.
482
00:22:59,088 --> 00:23:00,556
What is wrong with you?
483
00:23:00,623 --> 00:23:04,493
Go, go fix this, go.
484
00:23:06,262 --> 00:23:07,263
So cute.
485
00:23:09,064 --> 00:23:10,499
You know, it's really not nice
486
00:23:10,566 --> 00:23:12,101
to look through someone's
personal belongings
487
00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:13,502
without getting their
permission first.
488
00:23:13,569 --> 00:23:16,605
Ah, well, good thing
I have permission.
489
00:23:16,672 --> 00:23:19,975
Dr. Leaver told me I could
live through anything I wanted.
490
00:23:21,143 --> 00:23:22,844
I really don't like you.
491
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:29,084
Can I get you a coffee,
tea, or a puke bucket?
492
00:23:30,152 --> 00:23:32,121
You make it hard not
to like you.
493
00:23:32,187 --> 00:23:34,356
I'm very uncomfortable
with that fact.
494
00:23:34,423 --> 00:23:37,259
Hm, then why waste
your time trying?
495
00:23:37,326 --> 00:23:40,229
You have much more important
things to think about.
496
00:23:41,330 --> 00:23:43,465
Shouldn't you be out
chasing boys or something?
497
00:23:43,532 --> 00:23:44,566
It's a Saturday night.
498
00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:45,934
Why would I want to do that?
499
00:23:46,001 --> 00:23:48,803
Sex, obviously.
500
00:23:48,870 --> 00:23:50,506
Isn't it every
American girl's dream
501
00:23:50,572 --> 00:23:54,209
to find some beer-chasing,
swigging Canadian lad?
502
00:23:54,276 --> 00:23:56,278
You do make it
sound intriguing.
503
00:23:57,713 --> 00:23:58,813
Then go.
504
00:23:59,682 --> 00:24:00,549
Really, go ahead.
505
00:24:01,183 --> 00:24:03,252
I can take care of myself.
506
00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:04,987
I'm gay, girl.
507
00:24:05,853 --> 00:24:07,222
And I'm also quite content
508
00:24:07,289 --> 00:24:09,857
to spend the evening
here with you,
509
00:24:09,925 --> 00:24:12,294
'cause I know you're
not feeling well.
510
00:24:13,462 --> 00:24:14,363
Gay?
511
00:24:15,698 --> 00:24:17,299
You're saying you're a lesbian?
512
00:24:18,967 --> 00:24:21,003
Anyway, you can relax.
513
00:24:21,070 --> 00:24:22,671
You're not my type.
514
00:24:22,738 --> 00:24:26,308
I like my girls a little less
uptight and less pregnant.
515
00:24:27,209 --> 00:24:29,011
Going to make you that tea.
516
00:24:29,945 --> 00:24:31,046
Uptight?
517
00:24:47,930 --> 00:24:50,332
Dude, you're up.
518
00:24:52,434 --> 00:24:53,535
About time.
519
00:24:53,602 --> 00:24:56,271
Jesus Christ, how many
pills did they give you?
520
00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:58,140
I don't know.
521
00:24:59,274 --> 00:25:01,877
My name's Geoff with a G,
522
00:25:01,944 --> 00:25:03,278
you know, like Geoff with a J.
523
00:25:03,345 --> 00:25:05,114
Same name, just
spelt differently.
524
00:25:05,180 --> 00:25:06,448
You mind if I uh?
525
00:25:08,417 --> 00:25:09,351
On my bed?
526
00:25:14,957 --> 00:25:16,458
All right.
527
00:25:16,525 --> 00:25:17,693
Thanks, brother.
528
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:18,761
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
529
00:25:18,827 --> 00:25:20,162
Watch the open robe there, man.
530
00:25:20,229 --> 00:25:21,830
You don't want to
show the whole world
531
00:25:21,897 --> 00:25:23,599
your tiny little pecker now.
532
00:25:23,665 --> 00:25:24,700
What?
533
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:26,268
Your dangly little dew worm.
534
00:25:26,335 --> 00:25:28,036
Oh, and you do not want
to go fishing around here.
535
00:25:28,103 --> 00:25:29,571
Trust me.
536
00:25:29,638 --> 00:25:32,207
I mean, you know, one
minute they're hot and 20
537
00:25:32,274 --> 00:25:33,776
and then the next you
want to gnaw your arm off
538
00:25:33,842 --> 00:25:35,277
'cause they're so freaking ugly.
539
00:25:35,344 --> 00:25:38,614
Seriously, if you want
to get laid, not here.
540
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:42,050
Well, isn't this a
psychiatric hospital?
541
00:25:43,285 --> 00:25:46,422
Are you trying to throw me
with your big words, dude?
542
00:25:46,488 --> 00:25:47,823
No, I just-
543
00:25:47,891 --> 00:25:51,260
- I mean, I've been knocked
over and over and over and over.
544
00:25:51,326 --> 00:25:52,694
- And over?
- Exactly.
545
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,463
So you get where I'm
coming from, right?
546
00:25:54,530 --> 00:25:55,397
We're relatable.
547
00:25:56,098 --> 00:25:57,533
How long you played football?
548
00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,468
I never have.
549
00:25:59,535 --> 00:26:00,602
Yeah, I figured.
550
00:26:00,669 --> 00:26:02,571
You smell like a
bit of a fruit bar.
551
00:26:02,638 --> 00:26:04,239
I played though, man.
552
00:26:04,306 --> 00:26:07,409
NFL, CFL, the NFL
in Europe thing.
553
00:26:07,476 --> 00:26:09,913
They have football over
there, American kind?
554
00:26:09,978 --> 00:26:11,413
Well that remains to be seen.
555
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,183
But most importantly is
they rocked my noodle
556
00:26:14,249 --> 00:26:15,651
while I was trying to play.
557
00:26:15,717 --> 00:26:17,553
And then, you know,
that's why I'm in here.
558
00:26:19,755 --> 00:26:21,223
How long you been laid up?
559
00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:23,425
Man, you are the
inquisitive type, aren't you?
560
00:26:26,061 --> 00:26:27,629
I think I'm done
talking for today.
561
00:26:28,564 --> 00:26:29,832
Yeah.
562
00:26:29,899 --> 00:26:32,835
Oh, and just 'cause I
got this mag
563
00:26:32,902 --> 00:26:34,970
doesn't mean I'm going to
be dejuicing the pickle
564
00:26:35,037 --> 00:26:37,473
every 10 minutes,
so you can relax.
565
00:26:44,179 --> 00:26:45,514
You look like you
could use it a hug.
566
00:26:47,082 --> 00:26:48,183
As you were.
567
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,463
Daddy, sit down.
568
00:27:02,297 --> 00:27:03,665
You're making my head hurt.
569
00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:08,337
It was here just a moment ago.
570
00:27:09,204 --> 00:27:10,272
I can't seem to find it.
571
00:27:10,339 --> 00:27:11,740
What are you looking for?
572
00:27:11,807 --> 00:27:13,308
It's not really relevant.
573
00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:15,945
The important thing
is that it's lost.
574
00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:16,913
I can't find it.
575
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,983
Okay, but maybe if you tell
us what you're looking for,
576
00:27:20,048 --> 00:27:21,416
we can help you find it.
577
00:27:21,483 --> 00:27:24,253
Dear, once again,
you missed the point.
578
00:27:24,319 --> 00:27:25,554
Always a point.
579
00:27:26,822 --> 00:27:28,357
Well, I give up.
580
00:27:28,423 --> 00:27:31,260
I guess it will be forever lost.
581
00:27:32,127 --> 00:27:33,128
I must go.
582
00:27:33,195 --> 00:27:34,730
I bid you all a fond adieu.
583
00:27:36,265 --> 00:27:39,268
Ah, Dr. Leaver,
just hang on a second.
584
00:27:39,334 --> 00:27:41,703
Let me fix your
tie for you, huh?
585
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:45,440
Thank you, Susie.
586
00:27:45,507 --> 00:27:47,442
I wouldn't want to look shoddy.
587
00:27:49,378 --> 00:27:52,347
Oh, there you are.
588
00:27:52,414 --> 00:27:54,483
Not lost anymore.
589
00:27:54,550 --> 00:27:55,450
Good work.
590
00:27:59,555 --> 00:28:00,455
Thank you.
591
00:28:01,423 --> 00:28:03,058
Thank you for doing that.
592
00:28:07,429 --> 00:28:09,131
Daddy, is everything okay?
593
00:28:10,365 --> 00:28:12,801
I hate to believe I'm
in need of assistance,
594
00:28:14,803 --> 00:28:18,540
but I am in need of
assistance, everyone.
595
00:28:25,347 --> 00:28:27,482
Look, I've been
an incredible idiot
596
00:28:27,549 --> 00:28:30,552
and I'm willing to do
anything to make up for it.
597
00:28:31,921 --> 00:28:33,188
I love you. Jack.
598
00:28:34,289 --> 00:28:35,857
I really do.
599
00:28:35,925 --> 00:28:39,795
But maybe two people can
love each other an awful lot
600
00:28:39,861 --> 00:28:42,764
and they're still not
meant to be together.
601
00:28:45,567 --> 00:28:48,203
Well, I don't know that
that's our case, so to speak.
602
00:28:48,270 --> 00:28:52,474
I mean, we were right for each
other last week, were we not?
603
00:28:52,541 --> 00:28:55,711
Sometimes in life you get
those moments of total clarity.
604
00:28:56,946 --> 00:28:58,915
Has that ever happened to you?
605
00:28:58,982 --> 00:29:00,682
- Clarity?
- Yeah.
606
00:29:01,650 --> 00:29:04,152
Yeah, sadly I think
that's one of the things
607
00:29:04,219 --> 00:29:05,922
that's passed me by
in my life, right?
608
00:29:05,989 --> 00:29:09,458
Thus and therefore the reason
why I'm such an abhorrent ass.
609
00:29:09,524 --> 00:29:10,759
You know, what I want to do.
610
00:29:10,826 --> 00:29:12,761
I'm going to move out.
611
00:29:12,828 --> 00:29:15,297
I'm going to go and stay
with my sister for a bit
612
00:29:15,364 --> 00:29:18,667
while we, while I
figure my life out.
613
00:29:22,304 --> 00:29:25,008
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
614
00:29:25,074 --> 00:29:27,944
What about that moment
of clarity we just had?
615
00:29:28,011 --> 00:29:29,611
What about that?
616
00:29:29,678 --> 00:29:33,382
Clarity is what I've had
since the day I met you, Jack,
617
00:29:33,448 --> 00:29:35,517
and wanting to spend the
rest of my life with you.
618
00:29:35,584 --> 00:29:37,786
I've always been
clear about that.
619
00:29:37,853 --> 00:29:39,922
The same clarity
that you're lacking.
620
00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:43,926
I'm sorry, I gotta go.
621
00:29:48,196 --> 00:29:49,631
That was a trick question.
622
00:29:49,698 --> 00:29:51,400
Just because I have a
little bit of gray hair
623
00:29:51,466 --> 00:29:54,636
doesn't mean I don't know
what I'm talking about.
624
00:29:54,703 --> 00:29:55,537
I do.
625
00:29:55,604 --> 00:29:56,838
All right, everyone, I think
626
00:29:56,906 --> 00:29:58,908
we're getting
slightly off track.
627
00:29:58,975 --> 00:30:01,543
Now we have a new member
to introduce to our group.
628
00:30:01,610 --> 00:30:03,645
Everyone say hello to David.
629
00:30:07,249 --> 00:30:08,750
It's a tough group, David,
630
00:30:08,817 --> 00:30:11,420
as I'm sure you
could already tell.
631
00:30:11,486 --> 00:30:14,790
But perhaps you would
like to speak to us a bit
632
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:17,359
about what you're
experiencing right now.
633
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,430
I'd like to know why he's
got that thing on his head,
634
00:30:21,496 --> 00:30:22,965
if it gets a radio signal?
635
00:30:23,032 --> 00:30:25,233
'Cause he looks like
Princess Leia in "Star Wars."
636
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:27,569
Geoff, quiet please.
637
00:30:29,304 --> 00:30:31,941
But perhaps, David,
you explain to us
638
00:30:32,008 --> 00:30:33,608
why you have those bandages.
639
00:30:36,344 --> 00:30:40,515
I tried to kill myself, twice.
640
00:30:40,582 --> 00:30:42,718
You
shot your ears off.
641
00:30:44,519 --> 00:30:45,922
What are you, some
kind of an idiot?
642
00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:47,556
Everyone knows if you
want to kill yourself
643
00:30:47,622 --> 00:30:49,959
you just put the
gun under your chin.
644
00:30:50,026 --> 00:30:51,760
No, in the mouth.
645
00:30:51,827 --> 00:30:52,594
That'll get it done.
646
00:30:52,661 --> 00:30:53,963
Blood splatter everywhere.
647
00:30:54,030 --> 00:30:55,397
Guys, stop it.
648
00:30:55,464 --> 00:30:57,699
I'm not looking for
a way to kill myself.
649
00:30:57,766 --> 00:30:58,700
Oh really?
650
00:31:01,503 --> 00:31:02,671
Yes, really.
651
00:31:04,873 --> 00:31:08,410
Well, I think
somebody needs a hug.
652
00:31:12,115 --> 00:31:13,015
Ow.
653
00:31:15,584 --> 00:31:17,153
All right, carry on.
654
00:31:17,220 --> 00:31:19,855
You know I hate church.
655
00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:21,323
I hate church too.
656
00:31:21,389 --> 00:31:23,492
You know, we're both
gonna go to hell.
657
00:31:23,558 --> 00:31:24,526
Can I have a Bible?
658
00:31:24,593 --> 00:31:25,861
Have you got one?
659
00:31:25,928 --> 00:31:27,230
Since when do
you read the Bible?
660
00:31:27,295 --> 00:31:28,497
I read it a lot.
661
00:31:28,563 --> 00:31:29,731
It's very well written.
662
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,735
- Hello, Chester.
- Hi.
663
00:31:36,304 --> 00:31:37,472
Do you come here?
664
00:31:37,539 --> 00:31:39,142
Hello.
665
00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:40,575
You must be Martina.
666
00:31:41,476 --> 00:31:42,477
Marina.
667
00:31:42,544 --> 00:31:44,446
Oh, Marina, yeah, quite right.
668
00:31:44,513 --> 00:31:45,380
My apologies.
669
00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:46,648
My daughter Laurel.
670
00:31:46,715 --> 00:31:48,283
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
671
00:31:49,252 --> 00:31:50,352
She's preggers.
672
00:31:51,053 --> 00:31:52,587
That's Jewish for pregnant.
673
00:31:52,654 --> 00:31:54,056
Without a husband too.
674
00:31:54,123 --> 00:31:55,657
Daddy.
675
00:31:55,724 --> 00:31:57,492
Well, there was a husband
originally, but he left.
676
00:31:57,559 --> 00:31:59,427
Well, kicked her
out to be specific.
677
00:31:59,494 --> 00:32:00,328
Now I'm stuck with her.
678
00:32:00,395 --> 00:32:01,264
Daddy, stop it.
679
00:32:01,363 --> 00:32:02,531
I'm sorry.
680
00:32:02,597 --> 00:32:03,732
Well, what did I say wrong?
681
00:32:03,799 --> 00:32:05,034
- Are you not pregnant?
- Yes.
682
00:32:05,101 --> 00:32:06,601
- Husband left, correct?
- Yes.
683
00:32:06,668 --> 00:32:08,804
You're living with me, right?
684
00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:10,239
I give up.
685
00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:12,707
You see, dear, I am totally
and completely correct.
686
00:32:12,774 --> 00:32:14,977
I do tend to tell it like it is.
687
00:32:15,044 --> 00:32:16,078
You certainly do.
688
00:32:16,145 --> 00:32:18,480
Well, I got to piss.
689
00:32:19,381 --> 00:32:20,782
I'm coming with you.
690
00:32:20,849 --> 00:32:23,886
Yeah, let's drain
those lizards.
691
00:32:27,689 --> 00:32:29,825
An interesting man.
692
00:32:29,892 --> 00:32:30,893
He certainly is.
693
00:32:32,295 --> 00:32:33,628
This is payback
for all the shit
694
00:32:33,695 --> 00:32:34,964
we pulled in high
school, isn't it?
695
00:32:35,031 --> 00:32:35,932
Yep.
696
00:32:37,732 --> 00:32:39,302
They're not coming
back, are they?
697
00:32:39,367 --> 00:32:40,435
Nope.
698
00:32:40,502 --> 00:32:41,803
- Baseball on TV?
- Yep.
699
00:32:43,371 --> 00:32:46,408
And we're alone
in an empty church.
700
00:32:46,474 --> 00:32:47,576
Yep.
701
00:32:49,111 --> 00:32:50,512
You want to get
the hell out of here?
702
00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:54,416
Yes, please.
703
00:33:05,861 --> 00:33:06,761
Looks good.
704
00:33:07,596 --> 00:33:09,098
It's not so much a landscape
705
00:33:09,165 --> 00:33:11,867
as much as it is an imprint
of my emotional state.
706
00:33:14,170 --> 00:33:15,704
What the hell are
you talking about?
707
00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:19,075
It means, it means
I'm feeling better.
708
00:33:21,409 --> 00:33:23,778
Good, I'm glad.
709
00:33:23,845 --> 00:33:24,947
Me too.
710
00:33:25,014 --> 00:33:28,084
So, you still want
to kill yourself?
711
00:33:29,285 --> 00:33:30,953
Not so much kill myself
712
00:33:31,020 --> 00:33:34,489
as much as I want to continue
to take pieces off of my face.
713
00:33:34,556 --> 00:33:36,092
You know, it seems
like such a shame
714
00:33:36,158 --> 00:33:37,759
to stop considering so much
progress had been made.
715
00:33:37,826 --> 00:33:39,628
Good. Well, progress is good.
716
00:33:39,694 --> 00:33:40,897
One day at a time.
717
00:33:42,731 --> 00:33:45,867
Oh, I hear you have
a fun new roomie.
718
00:33:45,935 --> 00:33:47,270
Can I meet him?
719
00:33:47,336 --> 00:33:49,972
You came all this way to
see my roomie and not me?
720
00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:52,841
Don't ask questions you
don't want the answers to.
721
00:33:53,808 --> 00:33:55,912
He's a handful, but
he makes me feel better.
722
00:33:55,978 --> 00:33:58,847
It makes my problems feel
a little bit smaller.
723
00:33:59,916 --> 00:34:01,884
For the record,
they always were.
724
00:34:02,952 --> 00:34:04,853
Who's this?
725
00:34:04,921 --> 00:34:05,787
Oh boy.
726
00:34:05,854 --> 00:34:06,889
Relax, relax, he's harmless.
727
00:34:06,956 --> 00:34:07,656
Oh boy.
728
00:34:07,722 --> 00:34:09,992
Tell it to my ribs.
729
00:34:10,059 --> 00:34:11,294
- Hey.
- Hi, I'm Geoff.
730
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,528
And you have luscious breasts.
731
00:34:13,595 --> 00:34:15,563
Barking up the
wrong tree, buddy.
732
00:34:16,232 --> 00:34:17,166
You like women?
733
00:34:17,233 --> 00:34:18,433
- I do.
- Oh.
734
00:34:19,168 --> 00:34:20,136
What's your favorite?
735
00:34:20,202 --> 00:34:21,270
Geoff, stop it, come on.
736
00:34:21,337 --> 00:34:23,406
No, no, it's fine.
737
00:34:23,471 --> 00:34:25,440
Well, I like older women,
738
00:34:25,507 --> 00:34:27,977
women with experience,
life experience.
739
00:34:28,044 --> 00:34:30,679
Mm, I more meant like
big tits or small tits.
740
00:34:30,745 --> 00:34:32,248
Oh, I'm a butt girl.
741
00:34:32,315 --> 00:34:33,481
Me too.
742
00:34:33,548 --> 00:34:34,516
Big butts or small butts?
743
00:34:34,582 --> 00:34:35,517
Geoff, stop it.
744
00:34:36,118 --> 00:34:37,752
So they've known
each other for decades
745
00:34:37,819 --> 00:34:40,222
but never bothered to
introduce the families.
746
00:34:40,289 --> 00:34:41,290
How peculiar.
747
00:34:41,357 --> 00:34:43,725
Well, not unusual for my dad.
748
00:34:43,792 --> 00:34:45,694
I think he's lost it.
749
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:46,795
Alzheimer's warning.
750
00:34:46,861 --> 00:34:48,197
I was thinking that,
751
00:34:48,264 --> 00:34:50,832
but he's always been
a little eccentric.
752
00:34:52,101 --> 00:34:53,035
But I am worried.
753
00:34:53,102 --> 00:34:54,236
What if he's not okay?
754
00:34:54,303 --> 00:34:55,870
What about his patients?
755
00:34:55,938 --> 00:34:59,308
What if he sticks an ear on
wrong or something silly?
756
00:34:59,375 --> 00:35:02,644
Come on, he seemed fine to me.
757
00:35:02,711 --> 00:35:04,947
But maybe you should stay close,
758
00:35:05,014 --> 00:35:07,216
keep your eye on him,
see for yourself.
759
00:35:08,351 --> 00:35:10,886
I suppose I could spy
on him a little bit.
760
00:35:10,953 --> 00:35:12,787
It is a daughter's
duty after all.
761
00:35:12,854 --> 00:35:14,390
Well maybe spying is
too harsh of a word.
762
00:35:14,457 --> 00:35:17,259
Constant supervision is
a better way to put it.
763
00:35:19,794 --> 00:35:23,132
And if he invites home
more American hitchhikers?
764
00:35:23,199 --> 00:35:24,166
I'll kill him.
765
00:35:31,340 --> 00:35:33,943
Got your papers right
here for you to both sign.
766
00:35:34,010 --> 00:35:35,677
Thank you.
767
00:35:35,744 --> 00:35:37,046
Your father's left you
768
00:35:37,113 --> 00:35:38,948
as the sole beneficiary
of his estate.
769
00:35:39,949 --> 00:35:42,151
I wouldn't exactly call
it an estate.
770
00:35:42,218 --> 00:35:44,887
Which with real
estate holdings, bonds,
771
00:35:44,954 --> 00:35:47,655
stock, cash in and
out of the country
772
00:35:47,722 --> 00:35:50,525
works out to an estimated
4.5 million dollars.
773
00:35:56,065 --> 00:35:57,333
4 million?
774
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,767
4.5 million.
775
00:35:59,734 --> 00:36:01,003
4.5 million.
776
00:36:01,937 --> 00:36:03,705
- 4.5 million?
- Mm-hm.
777
00:36:03,772 --> 00:36:05,274
I still can't get over it.
778
00:36:05,341 --> 00:36:08,843
I have never seen you
spend a penny on yourself
779
00:36:08,911 --> 00:36:10,913
the entire time I've known you.
780
00:36:10,980 --> 00:36:14,849
In fact, you've never
spent a cent on me either.
781
00:36:14,917 --> 00:36:16,952
Well, you're going to
get it all soon enough.
782
00:36:17,019 --> 00:36:18,888
That is not what I meant.
783
00:36:18,954 --> 00:36:20,389
I just think you should spend
784
00:36:20,456 --> 00:36:22,958
some of that money on yourself.
785
00:36:23,025 --> 00:36:26,761
Take a vacation or something,
do something special.
786
00:36:26,828 --> 00:36:28,097
I thought I was.
787
00:36:28,164 --> 00:36:29,864
Giving it all to
me isn't special.
788
00:36:29,932 --> 00:36:33,102
You need to do something
nice for yourself.
789
00:36:33,169 --> 00:36:34,070
Like what?
790
00:36:36,172 --> 00:36:37,073
A trip.
791
00:36:39,808 --> 00:36:42,311
Trip? I hate
flying, I hate hotels.
792
00:36:43,312 --> 00:36:45,381
Ah, how about our
new checkerboard?
793
00:36:45,448 --> 00:36:49,385
You could buy 4
million checkerboards with that.
794
00:36:49,452 --> 00:36:52,754
Let's try aiming for something
a little more interesting.
795
00:36:52,821 --> 00:36:54,190
I like checkers.
796
00:36:54,256 --> 00:36:55,124
Oh, Dad.
797
00:36:55,191 --> 00:36:55,991
I do.
798
00:36:56,058 --> 00:36:57,893
I'll tell you what, surprise me.
799
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,929
As long as I don't have
to leave this house
800
00:36:59,995 --> 00:37:04,599
for more than a day, we
can do anything you want
801
00:37:04,666 --> 00:37:07,002
and I promise I'll enjoy it.
802
00:37:08,603 --> 00:37:11,040
- Really?
- Really.
803
00:37:12,241 --> 00:37:17,046
You've got to play
me two out of three.
804
00:37:18,047 --> 00:37:19,882
- Two out of three?
- Mm-hm.
805
00:37:19,949 --> 00:37:23,285
So just two games
of checkers then.
806
00:37:26,821 --> 00:37:30,126
Edward, this must
be very tough on you.
807
00:37:30,192 --> 00:37:33,862
Well, I just want to know
what to do, what to expect.
808
00:37:34,997 --> 00:37:36,565
Well, you were all
correct in your assumptions.
809
00:37:36,631 --> 00:37:39,969
You are experiencing the
early stages of Alzheimer's,
810
00:37:40,035 --> 00:37:41,669
but the very early stages.
811
00:37:41,736 --> 00:37:43,272
The long goodbye.
812
00:37:44,373 --> 00:37:46,041
Yes, it is known as that.
813
00:37:47,009 --> 00:37:49,644
There isn't any medication
that I can give you
814
00:37:49,711 --> 00:37:55,117
to stop or reverse the effects
that you are experiencing,
815
00:37:56,118 --> 00:37:57,852
but I can give you
something to treat
816
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,687
the other symptoms of the
disease, such as dementia.
817
00:38:00,722 --> 00:38:04,659
I highly recommend
that you give up
818
00:38:04,726 --> 00:38:07,062
your practice, Edward, and soon.
819
00:38:09,331 --> 00:38:10,665
I believe-
820
00:38:10,732 --> 00:38:13,335
- Oh look, a crawling
pancreatic tumor,
821
00:38:13,402 --> 00:38:15,104
very rare this time of year.
822
00:38:15,171 --> 00:38:16,305
Must follow.
823
00:38:21,177 --> 00:38:23,078
He's probably
having a rough time,
824
00:38:23,145 --> 00:38:27,283
and allowing his
imagination to run wild
825
00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:30,319
allows him to find
some sort of joy.
826
00:38:31,753 --> 00:38:33,522
Or perhaps it's a
defense mechanism,
827
00:38:33,589 --> 00:38:37,159
so not to be so afraid
of what the future holds.
828
00:38:39,995 --> 00:38:41,330
How's the pregnancy going?
829
00:38:43,365 --> 00:38:44,366
So far so good.
830
00:38:45,601 --> 00:38:48,170
But it looks like I'll have
two children on my hands.
831
00:38:49,038 --> 00:38:51,574
Yes, and they're
both going to need
832
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,909
a lot of attention and love.
833
00:38:55,244 --> 00:38:56,178
You'll be fine.
834
00:38:58,113 --> 00:39:00,049
Do you have anyone to help you?
835
00:39:03,851 --> 00:39:05,221
This is all so strange to me.
836
00:39:05,287 --> 00:39:06,555
What is?
837
00:39:06,622 --> 00:39:08,790
Oh no, I'm just a
middle-aged woman babbling.
838
00:39:08,856 --> 00:39:09,959
Oh no, you can talk to me.
839
00:39:10,025 --> 00:39:11,327
What's on your mind?
840
00:39:11,393 --> 00:39:12,895
You're a very
confusing young lady.
841
00:39:12,962 --> 00:39:14,496
I'm not sure what
to do with you.
842
00:39:14,563 --> 00:39:16,265
Confusing, how?
843
00:39:16,332 --> 00:39:18,100
You seem to have
it all figured out.
844
00:39:18,167 --> 00:39:21,303
You have such an understanding
of who and what you are.
845
00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:22,504
I'm in my 40s, pregnant,
846
00:39:22,571 --> 00:39:24,806
with not a whole lot
to look forward to.
847
00:39:24,872 --> 00:39:26,175
How can you say that?
848
00:39:27,409 --> 00:39:31,846
For one thing you're a brave
and beautiful 40 year old.
849
00:39:31,914 --> 00:39:34,149
- 41.
- 41 year old.
850
00:39:34,216 --> 00:39:38,153
And you have this baby coming.
851
00:39:38,220 --> 00:39:40,822
I mean, how crazy is that?
852
00:39:41,856 --> 00:39:45,027
You have an amazing life
and incredible father.
853
00:39:46,195 --> 00:39:48,230
You're just about the
nicest woman I've ever met.
854
00:39:50,099 --> 00:39:52,767
Okay, you're going
to make me blush.
855
00:39:52,834 --> 00:39:56,105
I'm an old hag, a mean old hag.
856
00:39:56,171 --> 00:39:59,608
And I like being one actually,
it's part of my charm.
857
00:40:03,279 --> 00:40:05,247
When did you know you were gay?
858
00:40:06,582 --> 00:40:10,452
Oh, I actually can't
remember not knowing.
859
00:40:12,154 --> 00:40:14,390
But you're so pretty,
and you wear dresses,
860
00:40:14,456 --> 00:40:15,790
and you put makeup on.
861
00:40:15,857 --> 00:40:17,526
Hey, Laurel, being
gay does not dictate
862
00:40:17,593 --> 00:40:20,296
how my hygiene or how I dress.
863
00:40:20,362 --> 00:40:21,463
No, I know.
864
00:40:21,530 --> 00:40:23,599
I was with a woman
once and I thought-
865
00:40:23,666 --> 00:40:29,038
- Look, Laurel, I have enjoyed
spending time with you.
866
00:40:31,140 --> 00:40:32,608
Everything is not sexual.
867
00:40:32,675 --> 00:40:34,710
You don't have to move
every time I touch you.
868
00:40:34,777 --> 00:40:36,445
I'm not trying to hit on you.
869
00:40:38,113 --> 00:40:39,581
That's not why I'm trembling.
870
00:40:44,253 --> 00:40:48,123
Oh wow, that was
such a shitbag thing.
871
00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:49,525
That was a terrible...
872
00:40:58,167 --> 00:41:01,303
All right, if you
do that one more time
873
00:41:02,404 --> 00:41:04,940
you're just going to have
to come to bed with me.
874
00:41:07,875 --> 00:41:08,977
Hello.
875
00:41:10,245 --> 00:41:11,146
Terri?
876
00:41:13,382 --> 00:41:14,283
Hello.
877
00:41:16,285 --> 00:41:19,455
Your asshole of a boyfriend
is here to make amends.
878
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:50,352
So she's gone?
879
00:41:51,887 --> 00:41:54,022
Every bit of
clothing, everything.
880
00:41:56,225 --> 00:41:58,193
What are you going
to do about it?
881
00:41:59,027 --> 00:42:00,429
Nothing I imagine.
882
00:42:01,296 --> 00:42:03,699
What am I supposed to do?
883
00:42:03,766 --> 00:42:05,901
She wants nothing to do with me.
884
00:42:05,968 --> 00:42:07,102
Oh, I can't imagine
she wouldn't want
885
00:42:07,169 --> 00:42:08,971
to have anything to do with you.
886
00:42:09,938 --> 00:42:11,373
You guys were good together.
887
00:42:12,941 --> 00:42:16,245
You only had one
problem as a couple.
888
00:42:16,311 --> 00:42:17,881
Yeah, what was that?
889
00:42:17,946 --> 00:42:21,083
You, you're an ass.
890
00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:23,051
Yeah, I know.
891
00:42:23,118 --> 00:42:24,787
Not just a little one either.
892
00:42:24,853 --> 00:42:28,657
You big stupid ass asshole.
893
00:42:28,724 --> 00:42:30,959
I know, thank you.
894
00:42:31,026 --> 00:42:32,127
You finished?
895
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:38,902
Yeah.
896
00:42:38,967 --> 00:42:40,169
I liked the egg salad.
897
00:42:41,136 --> 00:42:43,172
You're getting better at it.
898
00:42:43,238 --> 00:42:44,773
It's from a store, you ass.
899
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:45,974
It's in a box.
900
00:42:47,709 --> 00:42:50,546
To inappropriately
change the subject,
901
00:42:50,612 --> 00:42:52,948
would you mind taking
me to my checkup?
902
00:42:55,384 --> 00:42:57,152
I'm not allowed
to drive anymore.
903
00:42:58,253 --> 00:43:00,956
You never should have
been allowed to drive.
904
00:43:01,023 --> 00:43:01,990
You're terrible.
905
00:43:03,225 --> 00:43:05,427
Yes, absolutely, I can take you.
906
00:43:07,262 --> 00:43:09,431
I wasn't aware you
couldn't drive anymore.
907
00:43:10,232 --> 00:43:12,334
How long is that going to last?
908
00:43:12,401 --> 00:43:13,802
I have multiple sclerosis.
909
00:43:14,770 --> 00:43:16,238
Physically I'm going
to keep getting worse
910
00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:18,073
and pretty soon
I'm going to die.
911
00:43:19,408 --> 00:43:22,377
You gotta start paying attention
to the world around you
912
00:43:22,444 --> 00:43:24,446
or you're just going to miss it.
913
00:43:27,683 --> 00:43:29,351
Who is going to
take care of you?
914
00:43:33,388 --> 00:43:35,791
You better not get weepy eyed.
915
00:43:35,858 --> 00:43:39,929
I swear if you do, I'm
going to take this cane
916
00:43:39,995 --> 00:43:45,367
and I am going to ram it so
far up your asshole, I promise.
917
00:43:48,136 --> 00:43:49,338
You got it?
918
00:43:49,404 --> 00:43:50,606
- I got it.
- Okay.
919
00:44:00,984 --> 00:44:03,018
Do you want to
get out of here?
920
00:44:06,154 --> 00:44:08,090
Ah, I'm too tired to move.
921
00:44:09,725 --> 00:44:12,227
Can we just sit
here a little bit?
922
00:44:16,131 --> 00:44:17,199
Okay.
923
00:44:19,936 --> 00:44:24,206
Laurel, Laurel.
924
00:44:25,140 --> 00:44:27,242
Darling, Laurel.
925
00:44:31,713 --> 00:44:34,216
Are you up here? Laurel.
926
00:44:35,417 --> 00:44:38,120
Laurel, darling, I
can't for the life of me
927
00:44:38,186 --> 00:44:39,588
find my, lesbian.
928
00:44:39,655 --> 00:44:41,156
Your what?
929
00:44:41,223 --> 00:44:42,324
My lesbian.
930
00:44:47,529 --> 00:44:49,631
No, no, I mean my lesbian.
931
00:44:49,698 --> 00:44:51,166
Oh, I said it again.
932
00:44:51,233 --> 00:44:53,268
I'll be right back.
933
00:44:58,574 --> 00:44:59,708
Who's there?
934
00:44:59,775 --> 00:45:00,676
Dr. Lesbian.
935
00:45:00,742 --> 00:45:02,946
I mean, Dr. Leaver.
936
00:45:03,012 --> 00:45:04,346
Come in, Daddy.
937
00:45:07,349 --> 00:45:10,218
All right, I'm going
to try this again.
938
00:45:13,755 --> 00:45:15,024
My tie.
939
00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:16,592
Have you seen my maroon tie?
940
00:45:17,894 --> 00:45:19,194
Yes, it's in the garbage.
941
00:45:19,261 --> 00:45:20,662
It was horrid.
942
00:45:20,729 --> 00:45:22,164
Right, understood.
943
00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:25,767
What about my yellow tie?
944
00:45:28,004 --> 00:45:29,104
Horrid.
945
00:45:33,709 --> 00:45:36,879
Are there any of my
ties in the house
946
00:45:36,946 --> 00:45:38,513
that you haven't thrown out?
947
00:45:38,580 --> 00:45:41,817
Your red and green tie is
in the closet downstairs.
948
00:45:41,884 --> 00:45:45,587
All right, I'll just
go and pull it out,
949
00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:48,790
out of the closet.
950
00:45:51,027 --> 00:45:52,394
I'm going to leave now.
951
00:45:53,495 --> 00:45:57,432
I trust I'll see both of
you later this evening
952
00:45:57,499 --> 00:45:59,102
at my retirement party?
953
00:45:59,167 --> 00:46:00,402
Of course.
954
00:46:00,469 --> 00:46:02,537
Do you want us to
bring anything?
955
00:46:02,604 --> 00:46:06,608
No, I can see that you
have your hands full.
956
00:46:18,820 --> 00:46:19,956
You seen her?
957
00:46:20,023 --> 00:46:21,289
Have you seen her?
958
00:46:21,356 --> 00:46:22,457
Seen who?
959
00:46:23,325 --> 00:46:24,760
I can't find her.
960
00:46:24,826 --> 00:46:25,627
She's gone.
961
00:46:26,762 --> 00:46:27,562
Find who?
962
00:46:27,629 --> 00:46:28,664
Who are you talking about?
963
00:46:28,730 --> 00:46:29,765
I keep looking,
964
00:46:29,831 --> 00:46:31,400
I've been looking
for a long time
965
00:46:31,466 --> 00:46:33,635
and I can't figure
out where she is, man.
966
00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:35,905
You okay, man?
967
00:46:35,972 --> 00:46:37,006
You want me to call the nurse?
968
00:46:37,073 --> 00:46:38,074
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
969
00:46:38,141 --> 00:46:39,075
They're going to make me forget.
970
00:46:39,142 --> 00:46:39,942
I don't want to forget.
971
00:46:40,009 --> 00:46:41,276
It's right here.
972
00:46:41,877 --> 00:46:44,446
Every morning I wake up and
I smell the same feeling
973
00:46:44,513 --> 00:46:46,615
and they always make me forget.
974
00:46:46,682 --> 00:46:48,383
But why would they do that?
975
00:46:49,418 --> 00:46:51,653
Want me to
help you remember?
976
00:46:53,288 --> 00:46:54,690
- Would you?
- Yeah.
977
00:46:59,227 --> 00:47:00,495
You need a hug?
978
00:47:00,562 --> 00:47:01,730
Not particularly.
979
00:47:01,797 --> 00:47:02,698
All right.
980
00:47:19,581 --> 00:47:20,917
Terri, phone call.
981
00:47:20,983 --> 00:47:22,484
Who is it?
982
00:47:22,551 --> 00:47:24,486
Someone who says that he
will absolutely slit his wrists
983
00:47:24,553 --> 00:47:25,620
if you don't speak to
him right this minute.
984
00:47:25,687 --> 00:47:27,823
Did he give a name?
985
00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:30,993
As in there'd
be more than one?
986
00:47:31,060 --> 00:47:33,361
How many men do you have
willing to slit their wrists?
987
00:47:33,428 --> 00:47:35,697
More than enough actually.
988
00:47:36,398 --> 00:47:38,400
Tell him to bugger off, will ya?
989
00:47:38,467 --> 00:47:41,536
- Seriously.
- Okay.
990
00:47:42,237 --> 00:47:43,906
Yeah, not going to happen.
991
00:47:43,973 --> 00:47:45,874
- Really?
- Yep.
992
00:47:45,942 --> 00:47:46,842
What?
993
00:47:47,576 --> 00:47:49,711
- She said that?
- She did.
994
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,082
And you told her the whole
part about slitting my wrists?
995
00:47:53,149 --> 00:47:56,018
- Yep.
- Oh, very cold.
996
00:47:56,085 --> 00:47:57,220
Good luck with that.
997
00:47:57,285 --> 00:47:58,386
All right, bye.
998
00:47:59,922 --> 00:48:03,492
All right, time for
a new mode of attack.
999
00:48:08,663 --> 00:48:10,599
And that would be game.
1000
00:48:12,300 --> 00:48:14,669
Oh, for crying out loud.
1001
00:48:17,472 --> 00:48:19,741
I lost again. I know, sadly.
1002
00:48:20,609 --> 00:48:23,345
Sadly outclassed.
1003
00:48:23,411 --> 00:48:25,014
You are so mean.
1004
00:48:25,081 --> 00:48:26,681
Well, I could treat
you like a child
1005
00:48:26,748 --> 00:48:28,650
and let you win if you'd like.
1006
00:48:29,684 --> 00:48:32,255
Perhaps that's what I'm
doing, letting you win.
1007
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,588
Unlikely.
1008
00:48:33,655 --> 00:48:34,924
You broke my arm
trying to steal home
1009
00:48:34,991 --> 00:48:36,893
in a family baseball game.
1010
00:48:36,959 --> 00:48:41,329
When I'm playing catcher,
nobody's steals home on me.
1011
00:48:42,131 --> 00:48:44,267
I was six.
1012
00:48:44,332 --> 00:48:45,400
So what?
1013
00:48:46,434 --> 00:48:47,669
Which
is why you're never
1014
00:48:47,736 --> 00:48:49,771
going to beat me
at anything again.
1015
00:48:52,874 --> 00:48:53,775
Let's play.
1016
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,215
Dr. Leaver.
1017
00:48:59,282 --> 00:49:01,483
Hi, just wanted to wish you
well on your retirement.
1018
00:49:01,550 --> 00:49:03,652
And I hope you enjoyed
your dinner tonight.
1019
00:49:03,718 --> 00:49:05,922
Oh well, thank you,
thank you very much.
1020
00:49:05,988 --> 00:49:07,322
You're welcome.
1021
00:49:07,389 --> 00:49:09,558
You're looking
awfully white tonight.
1022
00:49:09,624 --> 00:49:12,460
Perhaps you could wear
a badge or something.
1023
00:49:13,896 --> 00:49:14,763
Pardon me?
1024
00:49:14,830 --> 00:49:16,933
Oh, no need to
pardon yourself.
1025
00:49:16,999 --> 00:49:19,302
But do yourself a favor
and find an optometrist.
1026
00:49:19,367 --> 00:49:21,636
He can help you out with that
colorblindness in no time.
1027
00:49:21,703 --> 00:49:22,905
She's the chef, Daddy.
1028
00:49:22,972 --> 00:49:24,539
Of course, dear,
but it doesn't
1029
00:49:24,606 --> 00:49:26,708
make her any less colorblind.
1030
00:49:26,775 --> 00:49:28,978
Dinner is lovely, thank you.
1031
00:49:29,045 --> 00:49:32,814
Yeah, sumptuous,
except for the escargot.
1032
00:49:33,849 --> 00:49:35,450
It looked an awful
lot like snails.
1033
00:49:36,852 --> 00:49:37,752
Oh no.
1034
00:49:39,721 --> 00:49:41,991
I will make sure we
do better next time.
1035
00:49:42,058 --> 00:49:43,025
Excellent.
1036
00:49:43,092 --> 00:49:45,161
And about the lobster. I-
1037
00:49:45,228 --> 00:49:46,896
- Daddy, a pancreatic tumor.
1038
00:49:50,066 --> 00:49:50,967
Right.
1039
00:49:53,336 --> 00:49:54,836
The dinner is lovely.
1040
00:49:55,837 --> 00:49:57,472
Why don't you pull up a chair
1041
00:49:57,539 --> 00:50:00,910
and join us for a while
until I do my speech.
1042
00:50:06,715 --> 00:50:08,084
So let me get this straight.
1043
00:50:08,150 --> 00:50:10,785
You have no recommendations
for a costume
1044
00:50:10,852 --> 00:50:13,855
for a man trying to win back
the woman of his dreams.
1045
00:50:14,689 --> 00:50:16,658
Perhaps a fuzzy bunny.
1046
00:50:16,725 --> 00:50:18,860
Girls all like fuzzy bunnies.
1047
00:50:19,761 --> 00:50:23,099
Yeah, I'm not sure
that necessarily says
1048
00:50:23,165 --> 00:50:24,967
virile young man, you know.
1049
00:50:25,767 --> 00:50:27,836
You didn't ask for virile.
1050
00:50:27,904 --> 00:50:29,972
You asked for a woman catcher.
1051
00:50:31,073 --> 00:50:35,111
Fuzzy bunny costumes
always worked for me.
1052
00:50:36,745 --> 00:50:38,915
You've done this
before, Have you?
1053
00:50:38,981 --> 00:50:39,748
Of course.
1054
00:50:39,814 --> 00:50:41,884
How else do I get laid?
1055
00:50:45,354 --> 00:50:48,757
Yeah, still, I think I'm
gonna need something different.
1056
00:50:48,823 --> 00:50:50,725
Something that's never
been done before, you know,
1057
00:50:50,792 --> 00:50:52,827
something powerful or dynamic.
1058
00:50:54,931 --> 00:50:57,300
I think I got just the thing.
1059
00:51:01,770 --> 00:51:03,372
First of all, I'd
like to thank you all
1060
00:51:03,438 --> 00:51:04,941
for coming tonight.
1061
00:51:06,541 --> 00:51:08,510
Hopefully it won't
be the last time
1062
00:51:08,576 --> 00:51:11,746
I remember seeing all of you.
1063
00:51:14,283 --> 00:51:16,218
To our colorblind chef,
1064
00:51:16,285 --> 00:51:18,720
I'd like to thank you
for a delicious meal.
1065
00:51:18,787 --> 00:51:22,590
I'd also like to thank Dr. Kelly
1066
00:51:22,657 --> 00:51:23,926
for not only being my friend,
1067
00:51:23,993 --> 00:51:26,228
but to have the
testicular fortitude
1068
00:51:26,295 --> 00:51:31,666
to tell me to quit my job
and become a mindless nitwit.
1069
00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:36,671
I'd like to thank Sarah Forkey
1070
00:51:38,573 --> 00:51:41,143
for teaching me the
meaning of French
1071
00:51:41,210 --> 00:51:46,614
and for knowing that blow is
not just a figure of speech.
1072
00:51:48,918 --> 00:51:52,021
Of course, Sarah's not
here right now, but if she-
1073
00:51:52,088 --> 00:51:53,055
- Daddy, Daddy.
1074
00:51:53,122 --> 00:51:54,957
Was, oh right.
1075
00:51:55,724 --> 00:51:56,959
But most importantly,
1076
00:51:59,462 --> 00:52:04,766
I'd like to thank my beautiful,
talented daughter Laurel.
1077
00:52:06,601 --> 00:52:10,106
Not only is Laurel going to
make me a proud grandfather
1078
00:52:10,172 --> 00:52:13,943
in a few months, but she's
also given me the pleasure
1079
00:52:14,010 --> 00:52:17,146
of moving in with me while
she learns to be a lesbian.
1080
00:52:17,213 --> 00:52:19,714
I'm surprised it took her
this long to figure out.
1081
00:52:19,781 --> 00:52:23,052
She didn't have a
boyfriend until she was 20.
1082
00:52:23,119 --> 00:52:26,755
And she liked tennis a little
too much for my liking.
1083
00:52:26,821 --> 00:52:29,992
Welcome to knowing
who you are, dear.
1084
00:52:37,166 --> 00:52:40,535
The truth is, life
is about love.
1085
00:52:41,703 --> 00:52:45,874
And no matter what,
there's nothing ever wrong
1086
00:52:45,941 --> 00:52:48,144
with loving and being loved.
1087
00:52:49,178 --> 00:52:51,780
A man has only two
things in this life
1088
00:52:51,846 --> 00:52:53,648
that he ever really needs.
1089
00:52:53,715 --> 00:52:55,084
First of all, to be loved.
1090
00:52:55,151 --> 00:52:57,053
And secondly, death?
1091
00:53:00,022 --> 00:53:01,589
Hello, everyone.
1092
00:53:01,656 --> 00:53:02,958
Welcome, death.
1093
00:53:03,025 --> 00:53:04,260
Here for dessert, are you?
1094
00:53:04,326 --> 00:53:05,528
Excellent, come, sit.
1095
00:53:05,593 --> 00:53:07,530
No, I'm here for Terri.
1096
00:53:08,931 --> 00:53:10,232
She's a bit young,
don't you think?
1097
00:53:10,299 --> 00:53:12,334
Take the old fart in the
corner, why don't ya?
1098
00:53:12,401 --> 00:53:14,904
I mean, it'll you
save you a trip later.
1099
00:53:14,970 --> 00:53:17,473
No, no,
I'm here for Terri.
1100
00:53:17,540 --> 00:53:19,841
Jack, is that you?
1101
00:53:21,643 --> 00:53:22,545
Surprise.
1102
00:53:23,446 --> 00:53:25,414
Why are you dressed
as the Grim Reaper?
1103
00:53:26,714 --> 00:53:32,121
It's my way of saying I'll
die if you don't take me back.
1104
00:53:33,322 --> 00:53:34,656
Please take me back.
1105
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,795
You dressed up as
death to win me back?
1106
00:53:42,131 --> 00:53:43,299
Well, yeah.
1107
00:53:43,365 --> 00:53:45,834
I mean, it's probably
not the best costume
1108
00:53:45,901 --> 00:53:47,303
I could have picked.
1109
00:53:47,369 --> 00:53:48,670
You came to my restaurant,
1110
00:53:48,736 --> 00:53:49,972
you interrupted this
man's retirement dinner,
1111
00:53:50,039 --> 00:53:52,074
and you're dressed
like this, why?
1112
00:53:54,910 --> 00:53:59,915
Because, because I love you.
1113
00:54:12,627 --> 00:54:14,696
Hey, what are you doing?
1114
00:54:14,762 --> 00:54:16,132
We have to find her tonight.
1115
00:54:16,198 --> 00:54:17,832
Why, dude?
1116
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:18,867
You said you'd help me.
1117
00:54:18,934 --> 00:54:21,036
- You promised.
- Ssh.
1118
00:54:21,103 --> 00:54:22,938
Any idea where we're going.
1119
00:54:23,005 --> 00:54:24,273
Absolutely not, no.
1120
00:54:24,340 --> 00:54:26,108
But that's never
stopped me before.
1121
00:54:27,543 --> 00:54:29,512
All right, let's do it.
1122
00:54:29,578 --> 00:54:32,248
Okay. Go, that way.
1123
00:54:32,314 --> 00:54:33,215
Okay, go.
1124
00:54:44,593 --> 00:54:45,727
Keep going.
1125
00:55:18,860 --> 00:55:20,196
Oh, shit, shit, shit.
1126
00:55:20,262 --> 00:55:21,163
Hold on.
1127
00:55:24,066 --> 00:55:24,900
What are you doing?
1128
00:55:24,967 --> 00:55:25,833
Gotta sign out.
1129
00:55:25,901 --> 00:55:27,769
We have to sign out.
1130
00:55:29,238 --> 00:55:30,172
Go.
1131
00:55:38,647 --> 00:55:40,216
Can you see her?
1132
00:55:40,282 --> 00:55:41,183
See who?
1133
00:55:42,284 --> 00:55:43,452
My angel, man.
1134
00:55:45,588 --> 00:55:46,589
You have an angel?
1135
00:55:47,623 --> 00:55:51,193
Yeah, the best part
of my life is my angel.
1136
00:55:52,361 --> 00:55:53,929
You don't have one?
1137
00:55:53,996 --> 00:55:56,198
Oh, everyone should
have an angel.
1138
00:55:58,601 --> 00:55:59,501
I don't.
1139
00:56:01,736 --> 00:56:02,870
I wish I did.
1140
00:56:03,706 --> 00:56:04,974
What's she look like?
1141
00:56:08,611 --> 00:56:10,812
See, that's what I'm
trying to remember.
1142
00:56:12,481 --> 00:56:15,217
They gave me all these
drugs to make me forget.
1143
00:56:17,852 --> 00:56:19,288
I don't want to forget, Dave.
1144
00:56:21,123 --> 00:56:22,224
I want to remember.
1145
00:56:24,759 --> 00:56:26,761
Some nights she's there
1146
00:56:26,828 --> 00:56:32,034
and I reach out to touch
her and she's gone.
1147
00:56:40,142 --> 00:56:41,410
Well, I can't
help you find her
1148
00:56:41,477 --> 00:56:43,045
if I don't know
what she looks like.
1149
00:56:48,217 --> 00:56:50,886
Hey, why'd you
bring me here, man?
1150
00:57:04,033 --> 00:57:05,668
You do realize
that I could suspend
1151
00:57:05,734 --> 00:57:06,935
your treatment for this.
1152
00:57:07,002 --> 00:57:08,337
Yeah, look, he
wanted to leave.
1153
00:57:08,404 --> 00:57:09,905
I thought it was best
if I followed him.
1154
00:57:09,972 --> 00:57:10,939
No harm was done.
1155
00:57:11,006 --> 00:57:13,008
Are you sure about that?
1156
00:57:13,075 --> 00:57:16,178
Look, Geoff is a
very special case.
1157
00:57:16,245 --> 00:57:17,946
He doesn't need any road trips
1158
00:57:18,013 --> 00:57:20,316
beside the water in the
middle of the night.
1159
00:57:21,283 --> 00:57:23,952
You could have done some
serious damage to him.
1160
00:57:24,953 --> 00:57:26,922
You have all your
faculties intact.
1161
00:57:26,989 --> 00:57:28,290
Geoff, on the other hand,
1162
00:57:29,391 --> 00:57:33,028
he won't be leaving
here anytime soon.
1163
00:57:33,095 --> 00:57:34,296
This is his home.
1164
00:57:35,164 --> 00:57:36,465
You must realize this.
1165
00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:39,867
Are you saying he
can't get any better?
1166
00:57:39,935 --> 00:57:43,172
I thought he just had his head
busted in a football game.
1167
00:57:43,238 --> 00:57:45,107
Is that what he told you?
1168
00:57:45,174 --> 00:57:50,312
Yeah, he said that Margaret
Thatcher busted his melon.
1169
00:57:52,314 --> 00:57:53,882
What else did he tell you?
1170
00:57:53,949 --> 00:57:56,585
Well, that he
had his own angel
1171
00:57:56,652 --> 00:57:58,620
and he couldn't remember her
1172
00:57:58,687 --> 00:58:00,189
because of all the drugs
you guys are giving him.
1173
00:58:00,255 --> 00:58:01,290
Look, I know it sounds crazy.
1174
00:58:01,357 --> 00:58:03,692
Yes, angel, yes, yes, yes.
1175
00:58:03,759 --> 00:58:05,227
Quite tragic indeed.
1176
00:58:05,294 --> 00:58:06,328
What if I talked
to his family?
1177
00:58:06,395 --> 00:58:07,896
Maybe they can stop all this.
1178
00:58:08,964 --> 00:58:12,167
I'm afraid his family won't
be involved in his treatment.
1179
00:58:12,234 --> 00:58:13,469
And why not?
1180
00:58:14,869 --> 00:58:17,339
Because Geoff's
family is dead.
1181
00:58:19,675 --> 00:58:21,543
Geoff never played football.
1182
00:58:23,946 --> 00:58:26,648
A number of years back he
took his family ice fishing.
1183
00:58:26,715 --> 00:58:31,353
The ice cracked and the wife
and daughter both drowned.
1184
00:58:33,055 --> 00:58:34,556
There was nothing he could do.
1185
00:58:35,791 --> 00:58:38,927
Eventually he ended up here
after a few stops in between.
1186
00:58:42,698 --> 00:58:44,099
You really didn't know?
1187
00:58:49,204 --> 00:58:51,673
They found him in the
water searching for them.
1188
00:58:51,740 --> 00:58:55,310
They figured he'd been
there for quite a while
1189
00:58:55,377 --> 00:58:57,379
before anyone even noticed.
1190
00:58:58,514 --> 00:59:00,884
They had to physically
drag him out of the water.
1191
00:59:00,949 --> 00:59:02,384
He wouldn't get out.
1192
00:59:03,218 --> 00:59:04,720
He should have froze
to death from the cold.
1193
00:59:04,787 --> 00:59:07,322
It's a minor miracle.
1194
00:59:07,389 --> 00:59:10,092
He was inconsolable,
to say the least.
1195
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:15,330
I believe they had to
literally knock him out cold
1196
00:59:15,397 --> 00:59:18,133
to keep him from jumping
back into the water.
1197
00:59:19,735 --> 00:59:22,137
So you understand that he cannot
1198
00:59:22,204 --> 00:59:24,339
be encouraged to go find them.
1199
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,416
Does he know they're dead?
1200
00:59:36,151 --> 00:59:37,619
The wife, yes.
1201
00:59:39,121 --> 00:59:40,489
I think he grasped that.
1202
00:59:41,523 --> 00:59:42,491
His daughter, no.
1203
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:48,197
He was so distraught that when
they told him about the wife,
1204
00:59:48,263 --> 00:59:50,866
he became violent
and unmanageable.
1205
00:59:50,934 --> 00:59:55,437
We've medicated him enough
to keep him under control.
1206
00:59:56,371 --> 01:00:01,376
But therapy simply
has not worked so far.
1207
01:00:01,945 --> 01:00:03,045
But we'll keep trying.
1208
01:00:06,215 --> 01:00:07,816
So you guys are medicating him
1209
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,887
to prevent him from
loving too much.
1210
01:00:10,954 --> 01:00:12,754
You no longer
need to be here, David.
1211
01:00:12,821 --> 01:00:14,356
It's time for you to leave.
1212
01:00:14,423 --> 01:00:17,392
I realize that he's
become your friend.
1213
01:00:17,459 --> 01:00:20,429
But you have to trust
me that we're acting
1214
01:00:20,496 --> 01:00:22,731
only with his best
interests in mind.
1215
01:00:30,940 --> 01:00:33,509
I think I know
what I want to do for you.
1216
01:00:33,575 --> 01:00:34,510
Do you?
1217
01:00:34,576 --> 01:00:35,844
That's nice.
1218
01:00:35,912 --> 01:00:37,379
Do you want to know?ú
1219
01:00:38,247 --> 01:00:39,681
Not particularly.
1220
01:00:39,748 --> 01:00:44,019
I'm confident that you'll
tell me eventually.
1221
01:00:45,053 --> 01:00:48,090
And even better yet,
you'll just do it.
1222
01:00:48,790 --> 01:00:49,691
Your move.
1223
01:00:55,030 --> 01:00:56,966
Oh, sorry I said that.
1224
01:01:02,371 --> 01:01:03,505
You gonna be okay?
1225
01:01:07,543 --> 01:01:09,411
You know, I've been
curious about you
1226
01:01:09,478 --> 01:01:11,113
since you came in here.
1227
01:01:11,179 --> 01:01:13,081
Yes, I have, yeah.
1228
01:01:13,883 --> 01:01:15,417
You know why?
1229
01:01:15,484 --> 01:01:17,753
'Cause you don't look
like the suicidal type.
1230
01:01:17,819 --> 01:01:19,321
Not that there's a type
to that sort of thing,
1231
01:01:19,388 --> 01:01:22,658
I suppose, but you don't.
1232
01:01:23,792 --> 01:01:26,461
Life's hard, it's really tough.
1233
01:01:27,496 --> 01:01:29,131
Some days you think you
got the tiger by the tail
1234
01:01:29,197 --> 01:01:30,832
when all along it's got you.
1235
01:01:33,368 --> 01:01:34,536
What do you mean?
1236
01:01:35,370 --> 01:01:38,106
Well, it's like
this, you know,
1237
01:01:38,173 --> 01:01:41,543
like everybody has
their tiger, right?
1238
01:01:43,111 --> 01:01:46,748
It's a ghost that
lives inside us.
1239
01:01:46,815 --> 01:01:48,517
It's that monster
that chases you
1240
01:01:48,584 --> 01:01:51,219
through your dreams at
night and won't let you go,
1241
01:01:51,286 --> 01:01:53,188
always trying to catch ya.
1242
01:01:53,255 --> 01:01:55,557
But here's the
thing, it's not real.
1243
01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:58,527
No, it's only real
if you let it be.
1244
01:01:59,561 --> 01:02:03,332
But it's hard not
to because it stirs
1245
01:02:03,398 --> 01:02:04,666
everything up in here, right?
1246
01:02:04,733 --> 01:02:06,535
It's all the couldas
and shouldas and wouldas
1247
01:02:06,602 --> 01:02:08,637
and why didn't I, and why did I.
1248
01:02:08,704 --> 01:02:11,206
It's always tearing
and ripping at ya.
1249
01:02:13,241 --> 01:02:16,411
But it's not real.
1250
01:02:17,379 --> 01:02:19,414
You know what John
F. Kennedy said?
1251
01:02:19,481 --> 01:02:24,686
John F. Kennedy said, "Those
people who foolishly ride
1252
01:02:25,554 --> 01:02:26,956
"the back of the tiger for power
1253
01:02:27,023 --> 01:02:29,291
"eventually end up inside it."
1254
01:02:31,627 --> 01:02:34,296
Now that may not
mean much to you,
1255
01:02:34,363 --> 01:02:36,065
but it means an awful lot to me,
1256
01:02:36,131 --> 01:02:38,101
because I took it to mean
1257
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,503
that if you try to
control the tiger,
1258
01:02:41,570 --> 01:02:43,605
it'll eventually eat you alive.
1259
01:02:46,909 --> 01:02:48,143
But here's the thing.
1260
01:02:50,712 --> 01:02:51,780
The tiger is life.
1261
01:02:53,615 --> 01:02:54,516
It's life.
1262
01:02:55,517 --> 01:02:59,154
You know, it's beautiful,
it's fearsome, and strong.
1263
01:03:00,822 --> 01:03:02,290
It's good and it's bad.
1264
01:03:04,027 --> 01:03:04,927
It's everything.
1265
01:03:06,461 --> 01:03:08,263
So enjoy the beauty of it
1266
01:03:09,899 --> 01:03:13,635
in all its complexity
and trouble, fear.
1267
01:03:19,875 --> 01:03:22,644
And if you can do that,
1268
01:03:24,479 --> 01:03:26,648
then life will get
a whole lot easier.
1269
01:03:28,283 --> 01:03:29,384
Yes it will.
1270
01:03:32,688 --> 01:03:37,392
Melvin, you lost me
a bit at the JFK part,
1271
01:03:37,459 --> 01:03:40,429
but that last part made sense.
1272
01:03:40,495 --> 01:03:42,364
I feel like I feel better.
1273
01:03:42,431 --> 01:03:43,732
Why are you still in here?
1274
01:03:45,467 --> 01:03:47,536
I guess I just
like watching tigers.
1275
01:03:57,646 --> 01:03:58,680
Merry Christmas to you.
1276
01:03:58,747 --> 01:03:59,982
- You're late.
- Yeah.
1277
01:04:01,084 --> 01:04:02,551
Grab one of these.
1278
01:04:02,617 --> 01:04:04,252
Are you feeling better?
1279
01:04:05,054 --> 01:04:06,455
Ah, day one, you know.
1280
01:04:06,521 --> 01:04:09,357
Oh, nothing like being
a family at Christmas.
1281
01:04:10,692 --> 01:04:13,762
I only have two
rules in this house
1282
01:04:13,829 --> 01:04:17,866
and I'll expect you to abide
by both of them at all times.
1283
01:04:17,934 --> 01:04:19,601
Yes, sir, I understand.
1284
01:04:19,668 --> 01:04:20,970
First of all,
there's no shooting
1285
01:04:21,037 --> 01:04:23,039
your ears off in the house.
1286
01:04:23,106 --> 01:04:24,473
Outside on the walkway is fine,
1287
01:04:24,539 --> 01:04:26,775
but there'll be no
bleeding ear cavities
1288
01:04:26,842 --> 01:04:28,677
in the pantry or
in the living room.
1289
01:04:28,744 --> 01:04:33,648
I've taken the liberty of
making some signs in places
1290
01:04:33,715 --> 01:04:36,418
for you to shoot your ears
off and where you shouldn't.
1291
01:04:36,485 --> 01:04:40,223
This sign I believe
is self-explanatory.
1292
01:04:40,288 --> 01:04:41,556
I designed it myself.
1293
01:04:41,623 --> 01:04:44,559
And this sign is
designed to let you
1294
01:04:44,626 --> 01:04:46,661
shoot yourself as
much as you please.
1295
01:04:46,728 --> 01:04:48,497
I don't think you
have to worry about me-
1296
01:04:48,563 --> 01:04:51,000
- Shooting your ears off again.
1297
01:04:53,502 --> 01:04:58,406
I thought I told you
not to do that in here.
1298
01:04:58,473 --> 01:05:00,342
Oh, let's start again.
1299
01:05:01,043 --> 01:05:02,511
No, sorry, Dr. Leaver.
1300
01:05:02,577 --> 01:05:04,279
I won't do it again, I promise.
1301
01:05:04,346 --> 01:05:05,580
What was the second thing?
1302
01:05:05,647 --> 01:05:07,616
Oh, the second thing.
1303
01:05:07,682 --> 01:05:10,685
There'll be absolutely no
sleeping with the lesbians.
1304
01:05:10,752 --> 01:05:12,989
Not that I think
you have a chance.
1305
01:05:13,055 --> 01:05:14,589
You've got a penis, boy.
1306
01:05:14,656 --> 01:05:16,525
What good would that
do you with a lesbian
1307
01:05:16,591 --> 01:05:17,859
for crying out loud?
1308
01:05:17,927 --> 01:05:19,494
That's like bringing
a samurai sword
1309
01:05:19,561 --> 01:05:21,363
to a jello eating contest.
1310
01:05:22,497 --> 01:05:24,866
Lesbians don't want pepperoni.
1311
01:05:24,934 --> 01:05:26,301
They want peaches.
1312
01:05:27,869 --> 01:05:29,504
Least you can do is
leave your sword at home
1313
01:05:29,571 --> 01:05:31,773
and not be disturbing
their jello.
1314
01:05:33,308 --> 01:05:35,744
Yeah, you are enormous.
1315
01:05:37,546 --> 01:05:38,547
You're not helping.
1316
01:05:38,613 --> 01:05:41,250
Gigantic, monstrous even.
1317
01:05:41,316 --> 01:05:42,885
How the hell did
you get that on?
1318
01:05:42,952 --> 01:05:45,787
I'm not sure the physics
of it are even possible.
1319
01:05:46,655 --> 01:05:48,824
Messing with a
seriously pregnant woman
1320
01:05:48,891 --> 01:05:51,093
might not be healthy
for your wellbeing.
1321
01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:52,828
I think you look great.
1322
01:05:53,963 --> 01:05:54,997
I'm a pregnant dyke.
1323
01:05:56,232 --> 01:05:58,466
I wish I didn't have to
go to this thing tonight.
1324
01:05:58,533 --> 01:06:00,635
I don't feel very feminine.
1325
01:06:01,469 --> 01:06:02,771
I never do.
1326
01:06:02,838 --> 01:06:05,574
You have curves in
all the wrong places
1327
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:08,677
and now they're just
much, much larger.
1328
01:06:10,645 --> 01:06:13,381
I think you look stunning.
1329
01:06:13,448 --> 01:06:15,885
You're lovely,
and full of shit.
1330
01:06:17,686 --> 01:06:19,922
You look very feminine.
1331
01:06:20,689 --> 01:06:21,891
How could you say that?
1332
01:06:21,958 --> 01:06:24,160
I look more like
Hardy than Laurel.
1333
01:06:24,227 --> 01:06:28,998
Oh, there is nothing more
feminine than a pregnant woman.
1334
01:06:30,199 --> 01:06:32,767
And there is no one more
beautiful than you tonight.
1335
01:06:33,835 --> 01:06:36,638
But feel free to have
that baby anytime
1336
01:06:36,705 --> 01:06:39,808
'cause you're getting
too big for the bed.
1337
01:06:54,891 --> 01:06:55,925
Yes?
1338
01:06:55,992 --> 01:06:58,060
Oh, are you sure
I want to be here?
1339
01:06:58,127 --> 01:07:00,662
You promised that you
were going to be good.
1340
01:07:00,729 --> 01:07:02,731
It's taken me a long time
to plan this thing out.
1341
01:07:02,797 --> 01:07:04,666
Now you're going to go
in and have a good time
1342
01:07:04,733 --> 01:07:06,369
if it kills you or not.
1343
01:07:06,434 --> 01:07:08,703
Well, depending
how long it lasts
1344
01:07:08,770 --> 01:07:11,007
and I have to be here,
it probably will.
1345
01:07:11,073 --> 01:07:13,875
You can stop that
kind of talk right now.
1346
01:07:16,345 --> 01:07:18,180
Will I know anybody?
1347
01:07:18,247 --> 01:07:19,814
Probably not.
1348
01:07:19,882 --> 01:07:21,683
The party is for you, after all.
1349
01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:23,451
Now get in there.
1350
01:07:25,553 --> 01:07:26,355
Okay.
1351
01:07:36,232 --> 01:07:39,668
Where did all these
people come from?
1352
01:07:39,734 --> 01:07:41,137
Did you buy them?
1353
01:07:41,203 --> 01:07:42,405
Everybody's here
because they wanted
1354
01:07:42,470 --> 01:07:44,974
to come celebrate your life.
1355
01:07:45,041 --> 01:07:46,242
Hm.
1356
01:07:46,309 --> 01:07:48,210
Since you are dying
later tonight and all.
1357
01:07:49,245 --> 01:07:50,179
Come on, let's go.
1358
01:07:52,847 --> 01:07:54,016
Go ahead, go ahead.
1359
01:07:54,083 --> 01:07:55,217
Don't wait.
1360
01:07:55,284 --> 01:07:56,651
I'll just tell everyone
you got me drunk
1361
01:07:56,718 --> 01:07:59,754
and left me here alone, okay?
1362
01:07:59,821 --> 01:08:02,657
I'm happy to walk with you,
even if it takes all night.
1363
01:08:02,724 --> 01:08:04,492
And at this pace, it
just might, all right?
1364
01:08:04,559 --> 01:08:08,264
Besides, it's Christmas, and
it's your privilege and duty
1365
01:08:08,331 --> 01:08:09,597
to watch your younger brother
1366
01:08:09,664 --> 01:08:10,865
make a complete
ass of himself, so.
1367
01:08:10,933 --> 01:08:12,168
Oh, just like every year.
1368
01:08:12,234 --> 01:08:13,235
Yes, absolutely.
1369
01:08:15,870 --> 01:08:17,940
On behalf of my
father and myself,
1370
01:08:18,007 --> 01:08:20,076
I'd like to thank you
for coming tonight
1371
01:08:20,142 --> 01:08:24,046
to share both Christmas
Eve and to participate
1372
01:08:24,113 --> 01:08:26,715
in a celebration of
my father's life.
1373
01:08:37,159 --> 01:08:38,394
Mr. Templeton.
1374
01:08:38,461 --> 01:08:39,929
You may not remember
me, but I used
1375
01:08:39,996 --> 01:08:43,032
to play baseball for
you when I was younger.
1376
01:08:43,099 --> 01:08:44,000
Oh.
1377
01:08:44,934 --> 01:08:46,634
You had a saying you
told us before every game
1378
01:08:46,701 --> 01:08:49,604
that if you played your hardest,
1379
01:08:49,671 --> 01:08:51,806
it doesn't matter
if you win or lose
1380
01:08:51,873 --> 01:08:53,808
because in essence
you've already won
1381
01:08:53,875 --> 01:08:55,610
because you've been
true to yourself.
1382
01:08:55,677 --> 01:08:58,914
Thank you for being
a part of my life.
1383
01:08:59,614 --> 01:09:00,983
And to give this to you.
1384
01:09:04,053 --> 01:09:04,987
Thank you.
1385
01:09:13,862 --> 01:09:16,798
- Evening, Chester.
- Evening, sir.
1386
01:09:20,535 --> 01:09:23,005
Oh yes, thank you.
1387
01:09:32,982 --> 01:09:35,017
I wrote this down
because otherwise
1388
01:09:35,084 --> 01:09:36,718
I'd tell you something
about nothing
1389
01:09:36,785 --> 01:09:39,788
and confuse the living
crap out of both of us.
1390
01:09:43,159 --> 01:09:44,592
Dr. Leaver, your note.
1391
01:09:46,395 --> 01:09:47,862
Oh, whoops again.
1392
01:09:52,268 --> 01:09:56,338
Chester, we've been
friends for over 30 years
1393
01:09:56,405 --> 01:09:58,573
and never once had an argument.
1394
01:09:59,874 --> 01:10:03,946
I can honestly say that I
hold no other man's opinion
1395
01:10:04,013 --> 01:10:06,215
in higher regard
than I do yours.
1396
01:10:07,682 --> 01:10:12,888
You are a good
man, a loving man.
1397
01:10:14,190 --> 01:10:18,060
Your impact on my life
has been significant.
1398
01:10:19,361 --> 01:10:23,032
And the memory of you
will stay in my mind long,
1399
01:10:23,099 --> 01:10:26,734
long after the rest of
the shit has fallen out.
1400
01:10:30,705 --> 01:10:31,806
This is for you.
1401
01:10:33,442 --> 01:10:35,544
I believe it's a suppository.
1402
01:10:40,849 --> 01:10:43,986
Thank you for your
life and your spirit.
1403
01:10:47,089 --> 01:10:49,125
Thank you, God bless you.
1404
01:10:52,228 --> 01:10:53,129
I love him.
1405
01:10:54,263 --> 01:10:56,865
Oh.
1406
01:10:56,932 --> 01:10:58,601
I just wanted
to take this time
1407
01:10:58,666 --> 01:11:01,303
to thank our
wonderful chef Terri
1408
01:11:01,370 --> 01:11:05,207
for providing us with an
absolutely delicious dinner.
1409
01:11:09,744 --> 01:11:11,147
And there's someone else here
1410
01:11:11,213 --> 01:11:12,414
who would like to say
a few words to Terri.
1411
01:11:12,481 --> 01:11:13,382
Jack?
1412
01:11:15,951 --> 01:11:17,219
What the hell is going on?
1413
01:11:17,286 --> 01:11:19,288
A last ditch
effort it looks like.
1414
01:11:19,355 --> 01:11:22,391
Just give him a couple of minutes
to say what's on his mind.
1415
01:11:26,061 --> 01:11:28,264
Sorry for interrupting
your dinner.
1416
01:11:28,330 --> 01:11:29,999
Hopefully this
doesn't turn out to be
1417
01:11:30,065 --> 01:11:33,002
one of those horrid stories
from Christmas past.
1418
01:11:33,068 --> 01:11:35,905
And if it does, I'd
like to apologize
1419
01:11:35,971 --> 01:11:38,140
profusely beforehand
for any scarring.
1420
01:11:39,375 --> 01:11:41,776
Several months
ago, I did perhaps
1421
01:11:41,843 --> 01:11:43,546
one of the stupidest
things in my life.
1422
01:11:43,612 --> 01:11:46,615
And considering the mass amount
of stupidity that I've done,
1423
01:11:46,681 --> 01:11:48,284
that's saying an awful lot.
1424
01:11:48,350 --> 01:11:51,153
Something that my sister
can attest to, I'm sure.
1425
01:11:52,288 --> 01:11:55,124
After spitting reindeer
testes at my girlfriend
1426
01:11:55,191 --> 01:11:58,627
I told her that I was planning
a life without children
1427
01:11:58,693 --> 01:12:02,198
and insinuated that I didn't
want to spend my life with her.
1428
01:12:02,264 --> 01:12:04,699
Now I have tried to make up
for it 100 different ways
1429
01:12:04,766 --> 01:12:09,104
from flowers to letters, to
dressing up as a Grim Reaper.
1430
01:12:09,171 --> 01:12:11,006
You know, all of the things
1431
01:12:11,073 --> 01:12:13,008
that men try to do
to woo someone back.
1432
01:12:13,075 --> 01:12:16,145
And to be honest,
I failed miserably.
1433
01:12:16,212 --> 01:12:20,049
I've done nothing more than
embarrass the both of us.
1434
01:12:20,115 --> 01:12:22,717
Now Terri, I have no
more flowers to give
1435
01:12:22,784 --> 01:12:25,187
and I was never
that good at poetry.
1436
01:12:26,322 --> 01:12:28,424
And, to be honest, I don't
think that you'd take me back
1437
01:12:28,490 --> 01:12:31,793
even if I roped the moon and
brought it to your back door.
1438
01:12:33,028 --> 01:12:36,864
But it's Christmas, and
Christmas is about family.
1439
01:12:37,832 --> 01:12:39,801
And I realized how
much I want one
1440
01:12:40,970 --> 01:12:42,471
and how much I
want one with you.
1441
01:12:43,372 --> 01:12:45,873
You asked me before
about clarity
1442
01:12:45,941 --> 01:12:47,842
and I gave you a
terrible answer,
1443
01:12:48,911 --> 01:12:51,213
which wasn't completely untrue.
1444
01:12:52,248 --> 01:12:55,050
Like a lot of things in
my life, I am unclear.
1445
01:12:55,117 --> 01:12:58,587
But the one thing I can
say with upmost certainty
1446
01:12:58,654 --> 01:13:00,822
is that I'm in love with you.
1447
01:13:01,756 --> 01:13:03,825
And if you're willing to spend
1448
01:13:03,892 --> 01:13:05,394
the rest of your life with me,
1449
01:13:06,662 --> 01:13:10,232
I promise to make sure that
you never doubt that again.
1450
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:12,735
You're proposing?
1451
01:13:14,403 --> 01:13:18,240
I wouldn't say
that, unless I would.
1452
01:13:24,413 --> 01:13:27,782
Yeah?
1453
01:13:30,419 --> 01:13:31,853
If I ever would have
know it was that easy,
1454
01:13:31,920 --> 01:13:34,290
I would have done
this months ago.
1455
01:13:34,356 --> 01:13:35,557
Touching.
1456
01:13:36,725 --> 01:13:38,127
It's touching, isn't it?
1457
01:13:39,128 --> 01:13:42,197
I mean, it almost makes
you want to cry just a bit.
1458
01:13:43,932 --> 01:13:45,467
Just don't judge.
1459
01:13:45,534 --> 01:13:47,303
I'm just in touch with my
sensitive side right now.
1460
01:13:47,369 --> 01:13:48,270
It's very.
1461
01:13:49,104 --> 01:13:50,306
I need to leave.
1462
01:13:52,441 --> 01:13:53,342
Leave, why?
1463
01:13:54,276 --> 01:13:56,712
I gotta, I gotta do
something for a friend.
1464
01:13:56,779 --> 01:13:57,980
I just, I gotta go.
1465
01:13:59,148 --> 01:14:00,449
But what about Christmas?
1466
01:14:01,583 --> 01:14:03,585
It's all about family, right?
1467
01:14:03,652 --> 01:14:05,220
It really is.
1468
01:14:05,287 --> 01:14:06,388
And mine is not all here.
1469
01:14:11,060 --> 01:14:12,795
Hey, are you okay?
1470
01:14:12,860 --> 01:14:13,962
I'm not sure.
1471
01:14:15,164 --> 01:14:16,765
What's the matter, dear?
1472
01:14:16,831 --> 01:14:19,068
Oh my God, my water broke.
1473
01:14:20,669 --> 01:14:22,837
Oh, at Christmas,
that's simply absurd.
1474
01:14:22,905 --> 01:14:24,440
I've seen that look before.
1475
01:14:24,506 --> 01:14:26,975
Your mother gave it to me
just before you were born.
1476
01:14:27,042 --> 01:14:28,410
Okay, we need to
get her to a hospital.
1477
01:14:28,477 --> 01:14:30,145
Oh no.
1478
01:14:30,212 --> 01:14:31,580
I think it's coming.
1479
01:14:31,647 --> 01:14:34,016
Shouldn't we let a
doctor decide that?
1480
01:14:34,083 --> 01:14:35,451
- Ah.
- Oh, Daddy.
1481
01:14:35,517 --> 01:14:38,620
No, no, no, you have
at least a few hours
1482
01:14:38,687 --> 01:14:39,722
after the water breaks.
1483
01:14:39,788 --> 01:14:40,823
You're overexaggerating.
1484
01:14:42,424 --> 01:14:44,793
Of course, it might
be a good idea
1485
01:14:44,859 --> 01:14:46,095
to have a doctor look at you.
1486
01:14:46,161 --> 01:14:47,862
Is there a doctor in the house?
1487
01:14:47,930 --> 01:14:49,665
Yeah, you.
1488
01:14:49,732 --> 01:14:50,532
Oh, oh, yes, yes.
1489
01:14:50,599 --> 01:14:52,167
You're right.
1490
01:14:52,234 --> 01:14:55,237
But you do realize, of
course, that I'm retired now.
1491
01:14:55,304 --> 01:14:58,140
Well you still know how to
deliver a baby though, right?
1492
01:14:58,207 --> 01:14:59,508
Of course I do, pumpkin.
1493
01:14:59,575 --> 01:15:01,110
But the question is,
can I do it well?
1494
01:15:01,176 --> 01:15:02,544
Well, you're going to have to.
1495
01:15:02,611 --> 01:15:03,878
I don't want to.
1496
01:15:03,946 --> 01:15:05,314
What do you mean
you don't want to?
1497
01:15:05,381 --> 01:15:07,049
Well, baby delivering
is an awful mess.
1498
01:15:07,116 --> 01:15:08,350
Blood everywhere.
1499
01:15:08,417 --> 01:15:11,120
Large chunks of
flesh flowing out,
1500
01:15:11,186 --> 01:15:12,821
screaming, irrational women.
1501
01:15:12,888 --> 01:15:14,590
Daddy, if you don't
deliver this baby right now,
1502
01:15:14,656 --> 01:15:17,526
you're going to get a
bird's-eye view of my fist.
1503
01:15:17,593 --> 01:15:21,196
You could have
just said please, dear.
1504
01:15:21,263 --> 01:15:22,564
Do you see anything?
1505
01:15:23,966 --> 01:15:25,300
I'm not blind.
1506
01:15:25,367 --> 01:15:27,469
Just mentally incapacitated.
1507
01:15:27,536 --> 01:15:29,204
Of course I can see.
1508
01:15:29,271 --> 01:15:30,372
You're going to be
all right, just breathe.
1509
01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:31,874
You know, just like at class.
1510
01:15:31,940 --> 01:15:33,475
Yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea.
1511
01:15:33,542 --> 01:15:34,743
Keep breathing, dear.
1512
01:15:34,810 --> 01:15:36,678
It helps with the live birth.
1513
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:40,249
And we can do without
all the noise.
1514
01:15:40,315 --> 01:15:41,683
It makes it very
difficult to concentrate.
1515
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,685
You don't want me
making a mistake now.
1516
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:46,722
I can see you're not going
to be civil about this.
1517
01:15:46,789 --> 01:15:49,658
So let's just push and
get this over with.
1518
01:15:50,826 --> 01:15:53,662
Yeah, the head is coming out.
1519
01:15:53,729 --> 01:15:56,131
It's human.
1520
01:15:56,198 --> 01:15:57,833
Daddy, I swear to God.
1521
01:15:57,901 --> 01:15:59,234
- Oh crunch.
- What, what what?
1522
01:15:59,301 --> 01:16:00,904
There's only half a baby here.
1523
01:16:00,969 --> 01:16:03,005
I've got the head and the torso.
1524
01:16:03,071 --> 01:16:04,640
Nothing else.
1525
01:16:04,706 --> 01:16:06,508
Oh, wait a second.
1526
01:16:06,575 --> 01:16:07,911
I stand corrected.
1527
01:16:07,976 --> 01:16:10,145
It hadn't finished coming out.
1528
01:16:10,212 --> 01:16:11,881
Oh, three quarters of a baby.
1529
01:16:11,947 --> 01:16:13,215
That's much better.
1530
01:16:13,282 --> 01:16:15,184
And no one really
likes half babies.
1531
01:16:15,250 --> 01:16:16,652
At least with a
three quarter baby
1532
01:16:16,718 --> 01:16:19,221
they can wiggle around
on their stumps.
1533
01:16:20,422 --> 01:16:21,423
It's a joke.
1534
01:16:22,524 --> 01:16:25,427
You'd think people would have
a sense of humor at Christmas.
1535
01:16:25,494 --> 01:16:26,896
God.
1536
01:16:26,962 --> 01:16:30,165
Seriously, just one more
push should just about do it.
1537
01:16:30,232 --> 01:16:33,268
One more and all that's
left is the lifelong torment
1538
01:16:33,335 --> 01:16:36,004
of what we call
bringing up a child.
1539
01:16:36,071 --> 01:16:37,606
Ready?
1540
01:16:37,673 --> 01:16:39,909
Your life will never be the
same, tragic as that may sound.
1541
01:16:39,975 --> 01:16:41,443
- Yes, yes.
- Okay, push.
1542
01:16:42,611 --> 01:16:43,545
Yes, yes.
1543
01:16:43,612 --> 01:16:44,413
Okay, you can push.
1544
01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:46,315
Come on, come on, you can do it.
1545
01:16:46,381 --> 01:16:48,650
Come on, that's it,
that's it, that's.
1546
01:16:52,754 --> 01:16:54,456
Is it all right?
1547
01:16:55,624 --> 01:16:58,527
Yeah, no,
no, no, it's fine.
1548
01:16:59,896 --> 01:17:01,129
Here we go.
1549
01:17:02,264 --> 01:17:03,699
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
1550
01:17:08,905 --> 01:17:10,172
Oh.
1551
01:17:10,239 --> 01:17:11,306
Thank you for
the greatest party.
1552
01:17:11,373 --> 01:17:13,008
Thank you very much.
1553
01:17:15,377 --> 01:17:16,545
Thank you so much.
1554
01:17:16,612 --> 01:17:19,014
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1555
01:17:19,883 --> 01:17:21,483
Thank you, sir.
1556
01:17:49,645 --> 01:17:52,214
Are you sure you
want to do this?
1557
01:17:52,281 --> 01:17:53,815
It's going to hurt.
1558
01:17:53,883 --> 01:17:55,584
We can go back any time.
1559
01:17:55,651 --> 01:17:57,586
Hey, man, my
life's full of hurt.
1560
01:17:59,388 --> 01:18:01,356
You said it's going to
answer some questions,
1561
01:18:01,423 --> 01:18:03,592
so yeah, yeah, let's do it.
1562
01:18:10,399 --> 01:18:12,434
Hey, that's my present, right?
1563
01:18:30,285 --> 01:18:32,554
It's my angel.
1564
01:18:33,221 --> 01:18:34,323
You found her.
1565
01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:40,662
That's your wife, Geoff.
1566
01:18:40,729 --> 01:18:41,998
Her name was Julia.
1567
01:18:42,065 --> 01:18:44,000
And your angel
was your daughter.
1568
01:18:44,067 --> 01:18:45,300
- Her name was-
- Angeline.
1569
01:18:45,367 --> 01:18:46,635
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1570
01:18:46,702 --> 01:18:47,603
- Geoff.
- No.
1571
01:18:50,305 --> 01:18:52,541
You think because you're
out of the hospital now
1572
01:18:52,608 --> 01:18:54,409
you can cure me, is that it?
1573
01:18:54,476 --> 01:18:55,410
This is your wife.
1574
01:18:55,477 --> 01:18:56,678
This is your daughter.
1575
01:18:56,745 --> 01:18:58,647
Yeah, and they
drowned a few years ago.
1576
01:18:58,714 --> 01:18:59,615
I know.
1577
01:19:02,384 --> 01:19:03,285
You did everything you could.
1578
01:19:03,352 --> 01:19:05,354
No.
1579
01:19:07,789 --> 01:19:12,794
No, I didn't.
1580
01:19:15,965 --> 01:19:17,265
No, I didn't.
1581
01:19:23,072 --> 01:19:25,540
So what, this is
where they live?
1582
01:19:34,149 --> 01:19:35,617
This is where you live.
1583
01:19:38,553 --> 01:19:39,554
They'd want you to be well.
1584
01:19:39,621 --> 01:19:41,189
They'd want you to move on.
1585
01:20:06,082 --> 01:20:07,182
Hi.
1586
01:20:08,483 --> 01:20:10,752
I have a present for you.
1587
01:20:10,819 --> 01:20:11,720
Right.
1588
01:20:12,654 --> 01:20:14,123
What's that?
1589
01:20:14,189 --> 01:20:16,159
I wrote about
our time together.
1590
01:20:16,224 --> 01:20:19,628
And I included passages from
everyone that was here too.
1591
01:20:20,629 --> 01:20:22,631
I was hoping that
you would read it.
1592
01:20:23,598 --> 01:20:26,468
Well, I don't have a
lot of time to read now,
1593
01:20:26,535 --> 01:20:29,471
but I'm sure it's wonderful.
1594
01:20:36,578 --> 01:20:38,747
How about a game then?
1595
01:20:38,814 --> 01:20:39,949
You're on.
1596
01:20:40,016 --> 01:20:44,786
I've got gold pieces,
and you have what?
1597
01:20:47,056 --> 01:20:48,557
Red.
1598
01:20:48,623 --> 01:20:50,093
I hear they're lucky.
1599
01:20:50,159 --> 01:20:51,027
It is.
1600
01:20:51,094 --> 01:20:51,994
Good girl.
1601
01:21:13,983 --> 01:21:15,617
I needed a hug.
1602
01:22:02,932 --> 01:22:03,832
Dad?
1603
01:22:09,671 --> 01:22:10,572
Dad?
1604
01:22:16,711 --> 01:22:19,381
You win one game
of checkers and...
1605
01:22:29,892 --> 01:22:30,792
Oh no, Daddy.
1606
01:22:32,327 --> 01:22:33,428
No, God.
1607
01:22:42,838 --> 01:22:46,808
I'm afraid I had to tape this
bit with the help of Edward,
1608
01:22:48,010 --> 01:22:52,647
specifically, of course, to
tell you that I told you so.
1609
01:22:54,850 --> 01:22:55,885
Stop smiling.
1610
01:22:56,818 --> 01:22:58,820
I'm dead, for crying out loud.
1611
01:23:00,089 --> 01:23:03,025
Dammit, a man should have
tears at a time like this.
1612
01:23:04,927 --> 01:23:07,196
I'm a simple man.
1613
01:23:07,263 --> 01:23:08,597
I tell things simply.
1614
01:23:08,663 --> 01:23:11,499
I just wanted you
to know you were
1615
01:23:11,566 --> 01:23:14,836
my one great compass
throughout my life,
1616
01:23:15,770 --> 01:23:17,739
and I'll see you in 40 years.
1617
01:23:17,806 --> 01:23:21,409
I'll be waiting for
you for the next game.
1618
01:23:23,545 --> 01:23:24,646
And I love you.
1619
01:23:25,847 --> 01:23:28,416
There are two sure
things in life.
1620
01:23:29,352 --> 01:23:30,819
The first is death.
1621
01:23:31,853 --> 01:23:34,789
The second is that you
have the ability in life
1622
01:23:34,856 --> 01:23:38,727
to do anything or be anything,
1623
01:23:38,793 --> 01:23:41,964
and to hope for
anything you want to.
1624
01:23:43,165 --> 01:23:48,403
You'll have tragedy,
but you will find love.
1625
01:23:50,006 --> 01:23:54,176
You will all have a
defining moment in your life
1626
01:23:55,477 --> 01:23:59,481
that will carry with you
till the end of time.
1627
01:24:07,999 --> 01:24:12,999
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull