1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:01,611 Previously, on "You"... 2 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,313 - Everyone just calls me Beck. - And you're... 3 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,689 - Joe? - Goldberg. 4 00:00:05,713 --> 00:00:07,953 A guy needs to protect himself, 5 00:00:07,977 --> 00:00:10,856 and your name was a glorious place to start. 6 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,658 The next thing our little friend the internet gave me 7 00:00:12,682 --> 00:00:14,259 was your address. 8 00:00:15,618 --> 00:00:17,429 Uhh! 9 00:00:17,453 --> 00:00:20,065 Maybe we could get a drink sometime? 10 00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:21,133 Sure. 11 00:00:21,157 --> 00:00:22,634 Hey, let me up. 12 00:00:22,658 --> 00:00:24,970 Oh, you make me insane. 13 00:00:24,994 --> 00:00:27,239 Oh, Beck, who is this? 14 00:00:27,263 --> 00:00:29,374 Benjamin J. Ashby. Greenwich born, 15 00:00:29,398 --> 00:00:30,630 boarding school bred. 16 00:00:30,654 --> 00:00:32,277 - After you. - All right. 17 00:00:32,301 --> 00:00:34,068 Man, I'm thinkin' maybe... 18 00:00:35,671 --> 00:00:38,617 Do not tell me that you're doing this because of Beck! 19 00:00:38,641 --> 00:00:40,486 I'm very scared of what you would do to her. 20 00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:42,955 She show you her ladle? She's got this red kitchen ladle. 21 00:00:42,979 --> 00:00:45,224 It's a whole "call you Daddy, spank me" thing. 22 00:00:45,248 --> 00:00:47,159 Benji, I'd love your help. 23 00:00:47,183 --> 00:00:50,162 Unfortunately, I know you're a pathological liar. 24 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:55,167 I just knew Benji was the worst kind of poison, 25 00:00:55,191 --> 00:00:57,536 so I did what I had to do to help you. 26 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,582 It's been three days... 27 00:01:10,606 --> 00:01:12,217 Since our first kiss, 28 00:01:12,241 --> 00:01:14,641 and I have to say... things are looking 29 00:01:14,665 --> 00:01:16,355 pretty good for us post-Benji. 30 00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:17,990 If you could only watch one movie 31 00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:19,992 for the rest of your life, what would it be? 32 00:01:20,016 --> 00:01:21,226 "Beverly Hills Cop." 33 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,328 - Really? - Oh, yeah. Dead serious. 34 00:01:23,352 --> 00:01:26,598 - Okay... I'll bite. - Enlighten me. 35 00:01:26,622 --> 00:01:29,067 Well, it's funny, but the danger... 36 00:01:29,091 --> 00:01:30,669 feels very real. 37 00:01:30,693 --> 00:01:32,171 It checks all the boxes. 38 00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:34,907 What's yours? What's your forever movie? 39 00:01:34,931 --> 00:01:37,609 - Mm. - I'd have to go with... 40 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,551 "Pretty In Pink." 41 00:01:39,576 --> 00:01:41,487 Invisible townie girl swept off her feet 42 00:01:41,511 --> 00:01:44,357 by the one guy who really sees her. 43 00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:45,791 A little on the nose, Beck. 44 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,257 I love that movie. 45 00:01:47,971 --> 00:01:50,034 I'll be that guy, the one who sees you. 46 00:01:50,058 --> 00:01:52,131 You deserve that, after Benji. 47 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,388 So... 48 00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:56,502 your... old girlfriend, 49 00:01:56,526 --> 00:01:59,071 the girl at Peach's party was talking about... 50 00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:00,925 - Candace, is it? - It's customary... 51 00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:03,161 the inventory of past heartbreak. 52 00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:04,911 - Do I wanna know? - But Candace... 53 00:02:04,935 --> 00:02:06,712 I'm not sure how to tell you about her yet. 54 00:02:06,736 --> 00:02:08,848 It's too soon, Beck. 55 00:02:08,872 --> 00:02:11,310 I mean, I'm an open book, but it's... it's the old story. 56 00:02:11,335 --> 00:02:14,854 Just... thinking you're right for someone... 57 00:02:14,878 --> 00:02:16,289 and you're not. 58 00:02:16,313 --> 00:02:18,457 Hmm. I got about a dozen of those. 59 00:02:18,481 --> 00:02:21,460 - Hmm. - Maybe sometime over a drink. 60 00:02:21,484 --> 00:02:23,262 Or ten. 61 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:25,131 - Yep. - Ten? 62 00:02:25,155 --> 00:02:27,033 Ten. Ten... 63 00:02:27,057 --> 00:02:28,935 Give or take. 64 00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:38,544 I want to come in, I do. 65 00:02:38,568 --> 00:02:40,248 But I'm gonna make us wait. 66 00:02:40,272 --> 00:02:42,011 You're worth waiting for. Besides... 67 00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:43,438 Bye. 68 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,351 Right now, I have something 69 00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:47,150 rather pressing to deal with. 70 00:02:56,853 --> 00:02:58,664 Nothing sweeter than townie pie. 71 00:02:58,688 --> 00:03:00,121 #MuffinGrabNGo. 72 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,751 Grab N Go? Really? 73 00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:20,286 Townie Pie? What the... 74 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,744 You're dead to me, Benji. Dead. 75 00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:25,791 You're finally moving on. 76 00:03:25,815 --> 00:03:27,660 And now that you've dealt with Benji, 77 00:03:27,684 --> 00:03:30,485 it's time for me to do the same. 78 00:03:33,957 --> 00:03:39,805 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.MY-SUBS.com 79 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:46,012 How exactly does one get rid of a body? 80 00:03:46,036 --> 00:03:47,980 I can't just Google this kind of thing 81 00:03:48,004 --> 00:03:50,267 without creating a pretty damning evidence trail. 82 00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,796 So I turn to those I trust most for tips... 83 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:56,389 King, Carr, Franzen, Flynn. 84 00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:58,257 FUN FACT: spatchcocking a chicken 85 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,759 and dismembering a human 86 00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:01,892 involve the same six essential steps. 87 00:04:02,155 --> 00:04:04,033 Not sure I'm down for that. 88 00:04:04,057 --> 00:04:05,834 Little intense. But... 89 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:08,192 I think I finally have a plan for Benji. 90 00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:11,307 Oh, hey, Joe, I didn't know you were up there. 91 00:04:11,331 --> 00:04:13,742 Do you mind if I play some, uh, Enrique Iglesias? 92 00:04:13,766 --> 00:04:15,444 I'm trying to bone up on my Spanish. 93 00:04:15,468 --> 00:04:17,046 These are officially the darkest days... 94 00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:18,297 Sounds great. In the history of the world. 95 00:04:18,321 --> 00:04:20,388 I mean, I can pick something else. I got a ton of playlists on here. 96 00:04:20,412 --> 00:04:24,353 I got rock music, club music, jazz music. 97 00:04:24,377 --> 00:04:26,388 - I wonder if he's a virgin. - Stick with the Iglesias. 98 00:04:26,412 --> 00:04:28,123 I'm just gonna be in the basement working on some books. 99 00:04:28,147 --> 00:04:29,391 I don't wanna be disturbed. 100 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:30,693 - All right? - No problem. 101 00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:31,860 Thanks, Joe! 102 00:04:31,884 --> 00:04:33,796 Here's what I know. 103 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,498 There can be no dead Benji for you to mourn. 104 00:04:36,522 --> 00:04:38,300 He needs to disappear. 105 00:04:38,929 --> 00:04:41,370 Already handled the optics on social media... 106 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:44,907 portrait of a dude hard partying his way off the grid. 107 00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:47,209 As for the body... 108 00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,612 cremation seems expedient. 109 00:04:49,636 --> 00:04:51,580 This will require chemicals, 110 00:04:51,604 --> 00:04:56,051 a steady blaze, and absolutely no dental records. 111 00:05:04,384 --> 00:05:06,428 Bluuh... 112 00:05:06,452 --> 00:05:08,397 It looks like 113 00:05:08,421 --> 00:05:12,067 I'm gonna need to slow the biological roll on Benji. 114 00:05:12,091 --> 00:05:14,069 It's about temperature, and it's about humidity. 115 00:05:14,093 --> 00:05:17,640 And dropping the temp this low puts the books at risk... 116 00:05:17,664 --> 00:05:20,776 dry, brittle, lost forever. 117 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,145 My humidifiers won't let that happen. 118 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,214 Gertrude Stein is dead. 119 00:05:25,238 --> 00:05:27,811 She's not coming back to sign books. 120 00:05:28,374 --> 00:05:31,053 Hopefully, this holds him until I can man up 121 00:05:31,077 --> 00:05:32,755 and do the deed. 122 00:05:32,779 --> 00:05:33,922 Come in. 123 00:05:33,946 --> 00:05:35,865 Hi... there. 124 00:05:35,889 --> 00:05:38,127 I'm, uh... Guinevere Beck. 125 00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:40,095 I'm your new MFA transfer. 126 00:05:40,119 --> 00:05:44,133 Professor Leahy and I agreed, uh, that it would be bet... 127 00:05:44,157 --> 00:05:45,868 Oh, sorry. 128 00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:48,971 Um, I'm looking for Professor Mott? 129 00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:50,205 Beck, is it? 130 00:05:50,229 --> 00:05:52,041 - Yes, hi. - Blythe. 131 00:05:52,065 --> 00:05:54,076 I heard you were joining us. 132 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,744 - Yeah. - We meet here for workshop 133 00:05:55,768 --> 00:05:57,379 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 134 00:05:57,403 --> 00:05:59,948 Mott's no Leahy, though, so bring your A game. 135 00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:01,617 I intend to. 136 00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:04,053 You know, I actually... I read one of your essays 137 00:06:04,077 --> 00:06:05,482 in the "Review" last month, 138 00:06:05,506 --> 00:06:08,657 and it was so illuminating. I tweeted it. 139 00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:12,350 Social Media. It's like the next great genocide. 140 00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,565 - Jersey, right? - Sorry? 141 00:06:16,589 --> 00:06:18,133 It's where you're from? 142 00:06:18,157 --> 00:06:20,869 No, I'm, uh, I'm from Nantucket. 143 00:06:20,893 --> 00:06:22,660 Oh, interesting. 144 00:06:24,664 --> 00:06:26,642 - Where are you from? - Such a tough question. 145 00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:28,977 Um... I was born in Papua New Guinea, 146 00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,255 but my dad worked for the State Department, 147 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:32,681 so we moved around a lot. 148 00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:34,183 Actually separated from my parents at one point. 149 00:06:34,207 --> 00:06:36,485 Did some modeling in Tokyo. 150 00:06:36,509 --> 00:06:39,722 My hair is super-unique there. 151 00:06:50,857 --> 00:06:53,102 I'm sorry, it's my grandparents. 152 00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:54,603 I'll see you in class, okay? 153 00:06:54,627 --> 00:06:56,105 - Okay. - Okay. 154 00:06:56,129 --> 00:06:58,474 Hey... 155 00:06:58,498 --> 00:06:59,875 Yeah. 156 00:06:59,899 --> 00:07:01,443 And then she walked away, 157 00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:03,145 and I melted into the earth. 158 00:07:03,169 --> 00:07:05,214 Sounds like a pretentious bitch, if you ask me. 159 00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:06,949 No. Blythe's amazing. 160 00:07:06,973 --> 00:07:09,284 She wrote this piece about how she and her mother 161 00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:11,920 got bulimia together while in Italy, and she was 12! 162 00:07:11,944 --> 00:07:14,123 - Chic. - What the... 163 00:07:14,147 --> 00:07:16,725 - Is that a nose? - It's a dick pic, Annika. 164 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:18,994 So what? It's just zoomed in. 165 00:07:19,018 --> 00:07:22,331 - No! - Why's it against shag carpet? 166 00:07:22,355 --> 00:07:23,821 - I don't know. - Perspective? 167 00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:24,967 I don't get it. 168 00:07:24,991 --> 00:07:27,102 I mean, why do men think disembodied members 169 00:07:27,126 --> 00:07:28,871 equal foreplay? You know, they're not 170 00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:31,306 - aesthetically pleasing. - Ooh! I disagree. 171 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:33,175 I have over 200 saved on my phone 172 00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:36,078 organized by category. It's my Guggenheim. 173 00:07:37,603 --> 00:07:39,381 Fat bats. 174 00:07:39,405 --> 00:07:40,883 Boomerangs. 175 00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:42,618 Banana boats. 176 00:07:42,642 --> 00:07:44,386 Late bloomers. 177 00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:45,888 And Jewish guys. 178 00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:47,115 More power to 'em, but your friends 179 00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:48,890 kinda treat sex like it means nothing. 180 00:07:48,914 --> 00:07:50,692 Till she sees his junk in zoom! 181 00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:52,394 But you're different, aren't you? 182 00:07:52,418 --> 00:07:54,029 Honestly, I see her point. 183 00:07:54,053 --> 00:07:55,731 I hooked up with some guy last night. 184 00:07:55,755 --> 00:07:59,001 Knee deep in before I realized he's uncircumcised. 185 00:07:59,025 --> 00:08:00,569 - Ooh! - It kind of looked like... 186 00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:02,971 - I don't know, a... hoodie? - Whoa! 187 00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,840 Bookstore clerk has a turtleneck? 188 00:08:04,864 --> 00:08:06,809 Bookstore manager, but, no, not Joe. 189 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,545 Some guy from Tinder. Just a little down and dirty. 190 00:08:09,569 --> 00:08:11,213 - You know? - Wow! 191 00:08:11,237 --> 00:08:13,200 Joe is still a maybe. 192 00:08:13,224 --> 00:08:16,185 A maybe? I'm a maybe? 193 00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:17,786 And you're still screwing other guys? 194 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,421 Beck! How did I miss this? 195 00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:22,024 How did I read this so completely wrong? 196 00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:24,765 Look, if you wanna bone Benji outta your system, 197 00:08:24,789 --> 00:08:26,094 more power to you. 198 00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:28,730 I just wanna make sure that you're respecting yourself. 199 00:08:28,754 --> 00:08:32,100 Look, I'm just saying... 200 00:08:32,124 --> 00:08:35,370 are you being your most amazing self right now? 201 00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:38,006 I mean, this is... this is my process. 202 00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:40,409 It's like a Benji exorcism. 203 00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:43,679 I'm just exploring my options in a city of... 204 00:08:43,703 --> 00:08:45,581 8 million people. 205 00:08:45,605 --> 00:08:47,316 - It's only reasonable, right? - Yeah. 206 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,650 I'm gonna get a drink. 207 00:08:52,712 --> 00:08:54,011 I like your tattoo. 208 00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:57,192 I don't have a tattoo. 209 00:08:57,216 --> 00:08:59,261 Love is patient and kind. 210 00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:00,929 And so am I, Beck. 211 00:09:00,953 --> 00:09:03,232 For you, I can be patient. 212 00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:04,569 Maybe this is your process. 213 00:09:04,593 --> 00:09:06,503 Nobody buys the first pair of jeans they try on, 214 00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:08,031 no matter how perfect. 215 00:09:08,828 --> 00:09:11,456 But as much as I'm hoping this is just a stage, 216 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,575 a quick password search on your iCloud 217 00:09:13,599 --> 00:09:16,245 has revealed a swipe-fest of millennial man-boys. 218 00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:17,779 Guy with tiger. 219 00:09:17,803 --> 00:09:19,515 Junior William Morris agent. 220 00:09:19,539 --> 00:09:21,884 Viking Wannabe. You've been a busy girl, Beck. 221 00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,986 It's more competition than I realized. 222 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,354 This thing between us... 223 00:09:25,378 --> 00:09:27,289 it's new, tenuous. 224 00:09:27,313 --> 00:09:29,758 And the cost was a corpse. 225 00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,860 But I can't get rid of every guy in New York. 226 00:09:31,884 --> 00:09:34,596 If I wanna win your heart, I'm gonna have to show you... 227 00:09:38,457 --> 00:09:39,935 Aah! 228 00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,637 I'm not a "maybe." 229 00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:43,127 I'm The One. 230 00:09:44,363 --> 00:09:48,110 Time to get rid of Benji 231 00:09:48,134 --> 00:09:50,612 so I can focus my undivided attention 232 00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:53,215 on you, Beck, on us. 233 00:09:53,239 --> 00:09:55,250 So I'm gonna need a few supplies. 234 00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:56,667 Hey, Joe. 235 00:09:56,691 --> 00:09:58,487 You said you needed to talk? 236 00:09:58,511 --> 00:10:00,422 - I do, yeah. - So here's the thing. 237 00:10:00,446 --> 00:10:02,391 I have a secret project I'm working on, 238 00:10:02,415 --> 00:10:03,959 but I gotta open up the shop, 239 00:10:03,983 --> 00:10:06,566 so I thought you could run some errands for me. 240 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,202 I'll give you a little money for books. 241 00:10:08,226 --> 00:10:09,431 Just between us. 242 00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:11,066 Yeah. No problem. 243 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,438 Between us. What do you need? 244 00:10:13,462 --> 00:10:15,826 Well, you might have to run to a few different places. 245 00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:23,078 You can count on me, Joe. 246 00:10:26,439 --> 00:10:27,905 Thanks, Pac. 247 00:10:30,343 --> 00:10:33,756 The swine and I. 248 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,380 Eye to eye. 249 00:10:37,817 --> 00:10:40,729 My heart is his. 250 00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,292 And that... 251 00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,101 was sunset. 252 00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:52,341 I'm not sure it had the vigilance or depth 253 00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:55,477 that you're capable of. I just wasn't fully invested. 254 00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:57,980 Interesting, Blythe. 255 00:10:58,004 --> 00:11:01,055 How do we maintain the reader's attention? 256 00:11:01,079 --> 00:11:03,152 We infuse the universal 257 00:11:03,176 --> 00:11:05,187 with painful specificity, 258 00:11:05,211 --> 00:11:08,390 - or they simply turn the page. - Exactly. 259 00:11:08,414 --> 00:11:11,693 My worst fear... and I'm not commenting on Yuri's poem, 260 00:11:11,717 --> 00:11:15,497 per se, is not to be bad but unremarkable. 261 00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:18,567 Unremarkable. That is the fear. 262 00:11:18,591 --> 00:11:21,170 I hope this was helpful, Yuri. 263 00:11:21,194 --> 00:11:23,038 I think that does it for today. 264 00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:25,214 Next up is... Blythe. 265 00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:26,847 And Beck. 266 00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,610 Send a piece of your choosing to myself 267 00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,946 and your fellow classmates, and we'll review on Thursday. 268 00:11:57,463 --> 00:11:59,208 Here's what I've gleaned 269 00:11:59,232 --> 00:12:01,910 from this little exercise in futility, Beck. 270 00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,912 You're in no mood to write. 271 00:12:05,905 --> 00:12:08,083 And you need a new bed. 272 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:10,485 So, hey, maybe your enthusiastic 273 00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:12,120 but ultimately empty encounter 274 00:12:12,144 --> 00:12:13,455 with that Warby Parker-wearing mixologist 275 00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:15,090 could work to our advantage. 276 00:12:15,114 --> 00:12:16,225 Any chance you're down for shopping trip? 277 00:12:16,249 --> 00:12:17,359 I've got time to kill 278 00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:19,683 while Paco's out shopping. 279 00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,900 You read my mind. 280 00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:26,735 Pick you up in an hour. 281 00:12:26,759 --> 00:12:29,004 But I have to play this perfectly, 282 00:12:29,028 --> 00:12:30,777 and in order to do that, 283 00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,808 I gotta break out the big gun. 284 00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:37,579 Mr. Mooney's Buick Skylark. 285 00:12:39,739 --> 00:12:41,250 You bound down the stairs in those tight, 286 00:12:41,274 --> 00:12:43,304 not-too-tight jeans. 287 00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:45,354 You're in flip-flops and your toenails sparkle 288 00:12:45,378 --> 00:12:47,055 and your hair's in a bun, 289 00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:48,490 and, hey, at least you don't have any hickeys. 290 00:12:48,514 --> 00:12:50,592 So there's that. 291 00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:58,333 Oh, my God, I can't believe this is your car. 292 00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,335 You're a lifesaver. 293 00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:03,894 No idea how much I needed a new bed. 294 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,026 New Challenge. 295 00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:26,962 How do I segue this from 296 00:13:26,986 --> 00:13:28,897 browsing glassware to... 297 00:13:28,921 --> 00:13:31,586 "Holy shit! Joe's the one"? 298 00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:35,537 Weird. 299 00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:38,173 I have one just like this. 300 00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:40,309 Yeah, I-I know all about it. 301 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:43,278 - Benji told me. - It was my dad's. 302 00:13:43,302 --> 00:13:45,080 The infamous red ladle. 303 00:13:45,104 --> 00:13:47,049 How you like to be spanked with it. 304 00:13:47,073 --> 00:13:49,354 Is that what you really want, Beck? 305 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,988 Is that the guy you're looking for? 306 00:13:55,652 --> 00:13:57,626 Just pick one. 307 00:13:57,650 --> 00:13:59,895 It's all cut from the same hunk of overpriced wood. 308 00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:01,897 I can't decide. 309 00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:03,865 People trying to buy some sort of meaning in their lives 310 00:14:03,889 --> 00:14:06,969 with $60 candles and sustainable lamps. 311 00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:08,403 They all look pretty good to me. 312 00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,706 No, I just mean should I get the queen 313 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,507 or the king-size bed? 314 00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:14,710 Your bedroom isn't big enough to fit a king. 315 00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:17,132 You're right, it's too... 316 00:14:18,371 --> 00:14:20,510 How do you know that? 317 00:14:22,137 --> 00:14:23,618 It's New York. 318 00:14:23,642 --> 00:14:26,121 No one's bedroom is big enough to fit a king. 319 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,125 Ugh... 320 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:32,694 What's wrong? 321 00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:34,496 This girl, Blythe, in workshop, 322 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,568 she just submitted her short story. 323 00:14:38,691 --> 00:14:39,968 - And? - And I haven't even 324 00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:42,198 started mine yet, and it's due tomorrow. 325 00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:48,543 Hers... 326 00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:50,278 it's brilliant. 327 00:14:50,748 --> 00:14:54,149 It's about a crow that flies into a woman's house, 328 00:14:54,173 --> 00:14:56,485 runs into the walls, and leaves blood everywhere. 329 00:14:56,509 --> 00:14:58,754 That sounds terrible. 330 00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:00,377 Read it. 331 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,356 Well? 332 00:15:14,994 --> 00:15:16,671 - You might be right. - Ugh! 333 00:15:16,695 --> 00:15:18,862 I know. 334 00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,902 Can I ask you something? 335 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,921 Anything. 336 00:15:26,945 --> 00:15:29,073 Promise to tell the truth? 337 00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:30,541 Scout's honor. 338 00:15:35,337 --> 00:15:38,449 - Do you think... - I'm unremarkable? 339 00:15:47,215 --> 00:15:49,093 Unremarkable people don't worry 340 00:15:49,117 --> 00:15:51,184 about being unremarkable. 341 00:16:03,532 --> 00:16:05,076 This is it, Beck. 342 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,477 This is the moment I'm gonna show you 343 00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:08,313 just how remarkable you are. 344 00:16:08,337 --> 00:16:10,081 You want down and dirty, you got it. 345 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,188 Stop, Joe, stop! 346 00:16:17,212 --> 00:16:18,456 - What? I... What? - I thought that you... 347 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,991 That I wanted to get arrested 348 00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:22,360 while you're going all bush diver on me in public? 349 00:16:22,384 --> 00:16:25,118 That's not exactly on my to-do list today. 350 00:16:27,889 --> 00:16:30,014 I guess I read that wrong. 351 00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:36,207 You haven't made eye contact for the past ten minutes. 352 00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:38,209 Things couldn't get any worse right now. 353 00:16:41,503 --> 00:16:43,648 - Hello? - Hey, Joe, it's Ethan. 354 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:45,350 - Ethan from the bookstore. - Yeah, yeah, I know 355 00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:46,818 who you are, Ethan. 356 00:16:46,842 --> 00:16:50,922 Right. Thing is, the power's out. Um... 357 00:16:50,946 --> 00:16:53,491 the electrician says he thinks the system is overloaded, 358 00:16:53,515 --> 00:16:55,159 but he can't get to the fuse box because... 359 00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:56,894 It's in the basement with a dead body. 360 00:16:56,918 --> 00:16:59,163 - Which is locked. - He thinks he can pop the lock, 361 00:16:59,187 --> 00:17:00,765 but I just wanted to... 362 00:17:00,789 --> 00:17:03,000 - No! No, no, no, no, no! - Just... Just... 363 00:17:03,024 --> 00:17:04,469 just tell the electrician to go home. 364 00:17:04,493 --> 00:17:06,237 I'll call him later. You lock up and go home. 365 00:17:06,261 --> 00:17:07,872 I'll deal with it when I get back. 366 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:08,970 All right? 367 00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:11,164 Okay. 368 00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:15,313 - Everything okay? - Yeah, it's fine. 369 00:17:15,337 --> 00:17:17,415 It's fine. It's just a little problem at the shop. 370 00:17:17,439 --> 00:17:19,350 I should get you... home. 371 00:17:21,743 --> 00:17:23,521 I was afraid this might happen. 372 00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:26,023 Six humidifiers and an AC unit from the late '70s 373 00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:27,759 cranked to its lowest setting... 374 00:17:27,783 --> 00:17:31,784 even in death, Benji is a colossal pain in my ass. 375 00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:38,569 Okay. With the AC out, 376 00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:42,940 seems deterioration speeds really picked up. 377 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:58,322 Oh! Is that... ooze? 378 00:17:59,914 --> 00:18:01,492 Things have grown 379 00:18:01,516 --> 00:18:03,961 biologically dire in the Benji department. 380 00:18:03,985 --> 00:18:05,863 Also the rare book department. 381 00:18:05,887 --> 00:18:10,334 But... I can't protect them until I get rid of him. 382 00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:13,370 Benji has to go. 383 00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:29,853 Ugh! 384 00:18:33,815 --> 00:18:35,759 Hey, what are you up to? 385 00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:38,262 Do you happen to read Chinese? 386 00:18:38,286 --> 00:18:40,227 Or own a mallet? 387 00:18:44,492 --> 00:18:46,126 The books were safe. 388 00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,038 Basement is 100% corpse-free. 389 00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,439 Can't burn the body in daylight anyway, 390 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,074 so the least Benji can do 391 00:18:51,098 --> 00:18:52,943 is wait in the car for a little while. 392 00:18:57,705 --> 00:18:59,082 - Ready for that. - Okay. 393 00:18:59,106 --> 00:19:01,118 Let go for a second. 394 00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:03,287 - Okay. - Yeah. 395 00:19:03,311 --> 00:19:04,922 - It's in the peg! - Okay. 396 00:19:06,514 --> 00:19:08,914 - Hand me the mallet. - Yeah. Ah! 397 00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,631 Should be good. 398 00:19:27,969 --> 00:19:30,013 There it is. 399 00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:31,548 Go! 400 00:19:32,707 --> 00:19:34,240 Say when. 401 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,388 - When. I think... when. - When, when, when. 402 00:19:44,285 --> 00:19:46,763 Cheers to us. 403 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,832 You make a good apprentice. 404 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:52,825 I was gonna say the same thing about you. 405 00:19:56,931 --> 00:20:01,178 I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to get so upset. 406 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,615 It's okay. 407 00:20:04,639 --> 00:20:06,396 No, it's not, it's just... 408 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:11,388 I don't want you to think of me 409 00:20:11,412 --> 00:20:12,903 like that. 410 00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:24,134 I... like you, Joe. 411 00:20:24,158 --> 00:20:27,704 Like actually... like. 412 00:20:32,166 --> 00:20:34,811 And I was a little in my head, to be honest. 413 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:38,382 Blythe's short story kinda threw me for a loop. 414 00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,950 It's not a competition. 415 00:20:39,974 --> 00:20:41,752 I know, but... 416 00:20:41,776 --> 00:20:43,725 I wonder... 417 00:20:44,378 --> 00:20:46,895 am I ever gonna write anything that amazing? 418 00:20:48,438 --> 00:20:49,960 You're talented. 419 00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:51,695 - You don't know that. - I... I know... 420 00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,735 I know you need to get out of your head and... 421 00:20:55,612 --> 00:20:58,869 forget Blythe, this Blythe person. 422 00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:01,104 Forget everybody. Just write what you want. 423 00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:04,474 God! Everyone says that like it's so easy. 424 00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:06,209 I know, I know. 425 00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:07,624 Okay, so, um... 426 00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:10,681 pop quiz. 427 00:21:10,705 --> 00:21:11,837 Don't think. 428 00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:13,984 Just answer. 429 00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:15,132 Okay. 430 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:17,988 What hits you like a gut punch when you... 431 00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:19,556 the first thought? 432 00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:20,888 My dad. 433 00:21:21,582 --> 00:21:22,681 Before he... 434 00:21:24,308 --> 00:21:26,059 Yeah. Right. 435 00:21:27,114 --> 00:21:28,614 Of course. 436 00:21:32,093 --> 00:21:34,204 He was an addict. 437 00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,819 It was hard... 438 00:21:37,737 --> 00:21:39,364 and scary. 439 00:21:41,302 --> 00:21:44,247 I mean, there were good days too. 440 00:21:44,271 --> 00:21:47,664 Like I always knew it was gonna be one of those 441 00:21:48,009 --> 00:21:51,835 when I woke up to the smell of pancakes cooking. 442 00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:56,673 He used this red ladle to scoop up the batter. 443 00:21:57,752 --> 00:22:00,897 This is the red ladle story? 444 00:22:03,124 --> 00:22:06,003 And I would be... laughing, 445 00:22:06,027 --> 00:22:08,338 singing along to some 446 00:22:08,362 --> 00:22:10,437 bad Top 40 song. 447 00:22:11,599 --> 00:22:14,378 And everything would be... right. 448 00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:22,819 But then he'd... he'd go out and... 449 00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:25,619 the ladle would go back in the drawer. 450 00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:29,790 And I'd wait for the next good day. 451 00:22:32,820 --> 00:22:34,711 Until there weren't any more. 452 00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:40,704 Wow! 453 00:22:40,728 --> 00:22:44,174 I did not expect to say all that. 454 00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:45,976 I think you're right. You definitely don't have 455 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,512 anything meaningful to write about. 456 00:22:48,536 --> 00:22:52,082 Ohh. Benji was wrong about all of it. 457 00:22:52,106 --> 00:22:55,285 His whole red ladle story. You don't wanna be spanked. 458 00:22:55,309 --> 00:22:57,421 You wanna feel safe, 459 00:22:57,445 --> 00:22:59,156 loved. 460 00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:02,292 You want someone to make pancakes for you. 461 00:23:26,841 --> 00:23:28,418 Um... 462 00:23:28,442 --> 00:23:30,420 hold that thought. I'll be right back. 463 00:23:30,444 --> 00:23:33,112 Coming! 464 00:23:35,649 --> 00:23:38,295 - Is everything okay? - No! 465 00:23:38,319 --> 00:23:41,064 - Peach. I should have known. - Thank God you're here. 466 00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,066 I'm having a really bad flare-up. 467 00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:45,524 I think I need you to take me to the emergency room. 468 00:23:47,194 --> 00:23:48,972 Oh... Joseph. 469 00:23:48,996 --> 00:23:50,707 I didn't realize you were here. 470 00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:53,043 I told you he was coming. 471 00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:55,245 Uh, Peach is really sick. 472 00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:58,048 This is probably more than you need to know, 473 00:23:58,072 --> 00:24:00,250 but... I have a rare chronic bladder disease 474 00:24:00,274 --> 00:24:01,685 called interstitial cystitis... 475 00:24:01,709 --> 00:24:04,054 Oh... gosh! 476 00:24:04,078 --> 00:24:07,057 I mean, you know, some people think I'm being uppity, 477 00:24:07,081 --> 00:24:10,026 but... I can't have any fast food. 478 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:12,929 And if I drink, it has to be a high PH, you know, 479 00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:14,898 like Ketel One or Goose 480 00:24:14,922 --> 00:24:16,733 and pear juice. 481 00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:19,136 Weren't you doing Jager shots at your party? 482 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,670 Oh... oh! 483 00:24:20,694 --> 00:24:22,472 Let's get you to the hospital. 484 00:24:22,496 --> 00:24:24,574 - Yeah. - And Joe has a car. 485 00:24:24,598 --> 00:24:26,627 He can take us. Right, Joe? 486 00:24:26,651 --> 00:24:27,944 You can take us? 487 00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:29,334 Of course. 488 00:24:30,571 --> 00:24:32,551 I mean, I've got a dead body in the trunk, 489 00:24:32,575 --> 00:24:34,050 but, hey, no biggie, right? 490 00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:36,023 Oh, this is taking forever! 491 00:24:36,047 --> 00:24:38,188 I mean, he took the worst street to get across town. 492 00:24:38,212 --> 00:24:39,623 Be nice. 493 00:24:39,647 --> 00:24:41,591 I'm in real pain! 494 00:24:41,615 --> 00:24:43,382 I'm sorry. 495 00:24:45,186 --> 00:24:47,397 Ohh... Joseph... 496 00:24:47,421 --> 00:24:49,232 - Yep. - I'm feeling nauseated. 497 00:24:49,256 --> 00:24:51,468 Can you crack a window? There's like a... 498 00:24:51,492 --> 00:24:54,437 sort of putrid aroma that keeps wafting in the backseat. 499 00:24:54,461 --> 00:24:57,107 - What can I say? - The smells of the city. 500 00:25:02,102 --> 00:25:03,146 Oh... God. 501 00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,681 I can't deal. I can't deal. 502 00:25:04,705 --> 00:25:06,672 We'll walk! 503 00:25:09,476 --> 00:25:10,909 I'm so sorry. 504 00:25:15,616 --> 00:25:17,394 It's almost the witching hour. 505 00:25:17,418 --> 00:25:19,896 Grab the supplies. Drive the narcissistic cadaver 506 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,665 formerly known as Benji to his final destination, 507 00:25:21,689 --> 00:25:25,290 light a match, and I'm yours forever, Beck. 508 00:25:27,628 --> 00:25:30,240 Well, this is a development. 509 00:25:30,264 --> 00:25:31,708 That's him. 510 00:25:38,656 --> 00:25:40,100 Potassium nitrate. 511 00:25:40,124 --> 00:25:41,635 Six rolls of duct tape. 512 00:25:41,659 --> 00:25:44,504 Fire starter, twine, burlap, wood stakes. 513 00:25:45,027 --> 00:25:46,573 You wanna explain what all this is for? 514 00:25:46,597 --> 00:25:48,275 Explain the shopping list 515 00:25:48,299 --> 00:25:50,782 straight out of "Body Disposal for Dummies"? 516 00:25:51,909 --> 00:25:53,513 I know. 517 00:25:53,537 --> 00:25:55,182 I know how this all must look. 518 00:25:55,206 --> 00:25:57,617 I know involving Paco was the wrong thing to do. 519 00:25:57,641 --> 00:26:00,787 But th-things have been a little crazy for me lately. 520 00:26:00,811 --> 00:26:03,390 I guess I was hoping I could make the world a better place. 521 00:26:07,852 --> 00:26:09,830 You know... It... 522 00:26:09,854 --> 00:26:12,137 it would... it would just be easier if I show you. 523 00:26:15,559 --> 00:26:17,693 Yeah, I'll show you. Come on. 524 00:26:20,865 --> 00:26:23,143 Technically, we're not allowed to plant anything in here. 525 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:25,359 I was just trying to keep it a bit under wraps. 526 00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:27,447 And the chemicals? 527 00:26:27,471 --> 00:26:28,882 They dissolve roots. 528 00:26:28,906 --> 00:26:31,385 Fire starters? 529 00:26:31,409 --> 00:26:32,783 I like to grill. 530 00:26:36,166 --> 00:26:37,565 Here. 531 00:26:44,388 --> 00:26:45,732 It's good. 532 00:26:45,756 --> 00:26:46,933 Thank you. 533 00:26:46,957 --> 00:26:48,935 - So he built a garden. - So what? 534 00:26:48,959 --> 00:26:51,938 I told this guy... stay away from my girlfriend's kid. 535 00:26:51,962 --> 00:26:54,763 And what does he do? He gives him money for errands? 536 00:26:57,101 --> 00:26:59,079 Hey, I told you, I'm a parole officer, okay? 537 00:26:59,103 --> 00:27:00,714 We see guys like this all the time. 538 00:27:00,738 --> 00:27:03,271 He's a sicko. I feel it in my gut. 539 00:27:04,439 --> 00:27:06,686 Hey, will you get back inside, Paco? 540 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:09,289 Just tell your mom I'm gonna be right there, okay, buddy? 541 00:27:09,313 --> 00:27:12,259 All right, all right, all right. 542 00:27:12,283 --> 00:27:15,262 Kid's got ADHD. Tough to manage at times. 543 00:27:15,286 --> 00:27:17,230 But that's what makes him vulnerable to freaks like this. 544 00:27:17,254 --> 00:27:19,933 Look, I apologize if I crossed the line. 545 00:27:19,957 --> 00:27:22,602 I just noticed how hungry Paco is all the time, you know? 546 00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:25,038 I gave him a few dollars to go to the store, honestly, 547 00:27:25,062 --> 00:27:26,413 so he could buy himself a sandwich. 548 00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:28,672 I lend him books from time to time, too... that's all. 549 00:27:30,507 --> 00:27:32,045 Just seems a little neglected. 550 00:27:32,069 --> 00:27:34,681 - You kidding me right now? - I'm not saying they're unfit. 551 00:27:34,705 --> 00:27:36,483 - A lot of people drink... - All right, that's it... 552 00:27:36,507 --> 00:27:38,285 All right, all right, all right. 553 00:27:38,309 --> 00:27:40,387 Sorry to have taken up your time. 554 00:27:40,411 --> 00:27:42,017 Good luck with the garden. 555 00:27:42,041 --> 00:27:45,225 - Thank you, Officer. - People. They're easy to fool. 556 00:27:45,249 --> 00:27:47,694 Like these cops. I'm the nice, straight-edge guy. 557 00:27:47,718 --> 00:27:49,529 So there's nothing to worry about. 558 00:27:49,553 --> 00:27:51,998 People believe whatever supports their world-view. 559 00:27:52,022 --> 00:27:54,734 Unfortunately, that seems to include you, Beck. 560 00:27:55,657 --> 00:27:58,004 You believed you deserved Benji and his neglect, 561 00:27:58,028 --> 00:27:59,973 and you believe you deserve Peach and her drama 562 00:27:59,997 --> 00:28:01,708 and on and on. 563 00:28:01,732 --> 00:28:04,177 I want to call and tell you, but I can't, 564 00:28:04,201 --> 00:28:06,546 because there's a traditional waiting period 565 00:28:06,570 --> 00:28:07,881 between every goddamn communication 566 00:28:07,905 --> 00:28:09,916 when trying to date someone. 567 00:28:09,940 --> 00:28:11,757 I hate this generation. 568 00:28:43,874 --> 00:28:45,073 Thank you. 569 00:28:48,112 --> 00:28:49,623 Thanks for staying with me. 570 00:28:49,647 --> 00:28:51,725 Honestly, I... I don't know 571 00:28:51,749 --> 00:28:53,527 what I would have done without you. 572 00:28:54,049 --> 00:28:56,663 You can always count on me. 573 00:28:56,687 --> 00:28:57,986 Thanks. 574 00:29:01,057 --> 00:29:03,524 So what do you think about Joe? 575 00:29:05,196 --> 00:29:07,507 Uh... yeah, you know, I like him. 576 00:29:07,531 --> 00:29:09,776 I think I might really like him. 577 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,646 I mean, I wasn't sure if I was ready to get involved, 578 00:29:12,670 --> 00:29:15,148 - but... maybe? - Okay, you can't be serious. 579 00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:18,323 I mean, the guy works at a bookstore. 580 00:29:19,109 --> 00:29:23,156 Beck, look, I know you. 581 00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:25,492 You don't wanna spend your fifth anniversary 582 00:29:25,516 --> 00:29:28,929 going Dutch at Katz's Deli. 583 00:29:29,334 --> 00:29:32,232 You need someone to take care of you. 584 00:29:32,587 --> 00:29:35,812 So you can write, be free, 585 00:29:35,836 --> 00:29:37,259 happy. 586 00:29:38,195 --> 00:29:42,042 Not someone like Joe and his financial limitations. 587 00:29:42,066 --> 00:29:43,723 That is not fair. 588 00:29:44,134 --> 00:29:46,201 Nobody pays me to be fair. 589 00:29:47,602 --> 00:29:49,015 What do you say we get a bite to eat? 590 00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:52,440 - 'Cause I'm starving. - I think I better skip it. 591 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,255 I should really get home. 592 00:29:55,279 --> 00:29:57,446 Glad you're feeling better. 593 00:30:13,731 --> 00:30:16,643 Oh, no. No, not... not now. 594 00:30:16,667 --> 00:30:18,311 Okay, Beck. All right. 595 00:30:18,335 --> 00:30:20,647 Hey. How's the patient? 596 00:30:20,671 --> 00:30:23,116 - Better. - Thanks for the ride. 597 00:30:23,140 --> 00:30:25,385 The doctor said it was good that we came when we did. 598 00:30:25,849 --> 00:30:27,387 Oh, yeah? 599 00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:30,790 Why don't you meet me back at my place? 600 00:30:30,814 --> 00:30:32,826 Maybe we can pick up where we left off? 601 00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:34,194 What about Peach? 602 00:30:34,218 --> 00:30:36,563 - What about her? - Where is she now? 603 00:30:36,587 --> 00:30:37,764 Indochine. 604 00:30:37,788 --> 00:30:39,599 It's her comfort food. 605 00:30:39,623 --> 00:30:41,501 Perfect. 606 00:30:41,525 --> 00:30:43,837 Peach is gulping steamed Chilean Sea Bass 607 00:30:43,861 --> 00:30:46,206 down her scrawny gullet, and I'm about to get caught. 608 00:30:46,230 --> 00:30:48,475 So... what do you think? 609 00:30:48,499 --> 00:30:50,377 I think you complain about not being able to write, 610 00:30:50,401 --> 00:30:52,145 but then you, you know, drop everything 611 00:30:52,169 --> 00:30:53,818 for some medical emergency, which, by the way, 612 00:30:53,842 --> 00:30:55,278 many believe to be psychosomatic in origin. 613 00:30:55,302 --> 00:30:58,718 - I meant about you... - coming over. 614 00:30:58,742 --> 00:31:00,754 I wish I could. 615 00:31:00,778 --> 00:31:02,789 Ha. I wish I could, but I'm just really busy right now, 616 00:31:02,813 --> 00:31:04,724 so... in fact, I should go. 617 00:31:04,748 --> 00:31:06,823 Look, I know Peach showing up was bad timing, 618 00:31:06,847 --> 00:31:09,262 but I wasn't exactly writing when she showed up. 619 00:31:09,286 --> 00:31:12,132 No, I know. Pro tip of the day: 620 00:31:12,156 --> 00:31:14,634 screen your calls when you're trying to burn a body, 621 00:31:14,658 --> 00:31:16,069 because it turns out things slip out 622 00:31:16,093 --> 00:31:17,191 that you didn't actually wanna say. 623 00:31:17,215 --> 00:31:19,372 I don't mean to be harsh, but... you know 624 00:31:19,396 --> 00:31:20,707 you're sending some mixed messages, right? 625 00:31:20,731 --> 00:31:22,075 What is that supposed to mean? 626 00:31:22,099 --> 00:31:24,144 I'm... I'm trying to do what you want, 627 00:31:24,168 --> 00:31:26,046 but I-I can't tell what that is. 628 00:31:26,070 --> 00:31:27,814 Like build you a bed, be with you on the bed? 629 00:31:27,838 --> 00:31:29,282 Drop you down the block because your friend 630 00:31:29,306 --> 00:31:30,521 is asking, and not very politely? 631 00:31:30,545 --> 00:31:32,548 Seriously, Joe, shut up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 632 00:31:32,572 --> 00:31:33,792 I have to go. 633 00:31:35,279 --> 00:31:36,878 But... 634 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,094 - Hey, how's it going? - Good. 635 00:31:41,118 --> 00:31:43,018 That's one hell of a bonfire. 636 00:31:44,621 --> 00:31:46,966 Yeah, what can I say? I went a little crazy. 637 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:50,036 You know what, you're welcome to join if you like. 638 00:31:50,060 --> 00:31:51,705 Please say no. Please say no. 639 00:31:51,729 --> 00:31:54,341 Oh, that would be great... 640 00:31:55,272 --> 00:31:56,976 but we need to get back to the car 641 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,545 before it gets any darker. 642 00:31:58,569 --> 00:32:00,313 Good luck. 643 00:32:00,337 --> 00:32:02,946 - Yeah, have a good one! - You too. 644 00:32:05,209 --> 00:32:07,175 Did you remember where you parked? 645 00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,924 I believe in love at first sight. 646 00:32:10,948 --> 00:32:12,792 I had it with you, Beck. 647 00:32:12,816 --> 00:32:16,229 And maybe, just maybe, I destroyed it 648 00:32:16,253 --> 00:32:19,546 just as fast, in the space of a single phone call. 649 00:32:20,958 --> 00:32:23,792 Was all this for nothing? 650 00:32:27,431 --> 00:32:29,176 "The king and queen, 651 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,478 when they saw their daughter..." 652 00:32:31,502 --> 00:32:34,815 I've been calling Beck, but... 653 00:32:34,839 --> 00:32:36,450 straight to voicemail. 654 00:32:36,474 --> 00:32:38,518 Worst three words in the English language. 655 00:32:38,542 --> 00:32:41,521 I wonder what our kids would have been like. 656 00:32:41,545 --> 00:32:43,590 They'd have grown up reading, not glued to iPads, 657 00:32:43,614 --> 00:32:45,025 and we definitely wouldn't have named them 658 00:32:45,049 --> 00:32:46,493 things like Gulliver or Blaze 659 00:32:46,517 --> 00:32:48,195 or Misti with an "I." 660 00:32:48,219 --> 00:32:51,465 We would have crushed this. Together. 661 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,735 It wasn't supposed to end like this. 662 00:32:54,759 --> 00:32:56,542 Call me back, Beck. 663 00:32:57,295 --> 00:32:58,939 The end. 664 00:33:10,474 --> 00:33:13,420 I don't mean this to blow smoke up your ass or anything, 665 00:33:13,444 --> 00:33:15,822 but your writing makes me think 666 00:33:15,846 --> 00:33:18,425 that Raymond Carver has been reincarnated. 667 00:33:18,449 --> 00:33:20,928 That is so kind of you to say, Tomas. 668 00:33:20,952 --> 00:33:23,698 I was born in '88, the year he died, 669 00:33:23,722 --> 00:33:25,098 so, weirdly enough, 670 00:33:25,122 --> 00:33:27,301 you're not the first person to have said that! 671 00:33:27,325 --> 00:33:30,647 - Again, great work, Blythe. - Excited to see what's next. 672 00:33:30,671 --> 00:33:32,339 Beck, we weren't expecting you. 673 00:33:32,363 --> 00:33:34,007 You didn't send along pages. 674 00:33:34,031 --> 00:33:35,943 I know. I'm sorry. 675 00:33:35,967 --> 00:33:38,211 And I'm sorry I'm late. It's just... 676 00:33:38,235 --> 00:33:41,181 I wrote them, but they sounded super emo. 677 00:33:41,205 --> 00:33:42,649 So I wrote them up and started over, 678 00:33:42,673 --> 00:33:44,685 and I lost track of time, but, uh... 679 00:33:45,382 --> 00:33:47,793 this... feels like me 680 00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:50,112 and what I want to say. 681 00:33:51,549 --> 00:33:54,061 It's only one page, but... 682 00:33:54,085 --> 00:33:55,963 That isn't really enough for us to critique. 683 00:33:55,987 --> 00:33:59,266 Are we supposed to read it now... in front of you? 684 00:33:59,290 --> 00:34:01,068 That's... kind of awkward. 685 00:34:01,092 --> 00:34:02,936 If that's the case, I should warn you, 686 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,438 I have this facial autism thing 687 00:34:04,462 --> 00:34:05,839 where I can't hide what I'm thinking. 688 00:34:05,863 --> 00:34:08,108 Let's just reschedule 689 00:34:08,132 --> 00:34:10,833 your review for another time. 690 00:34:33,791 --> 00:34:35,068 Beck? 691 00:34:37,695 --> 00:34:39,094 Hey. 692 00:34:40,664 --> 00:34:42,309 Uh... okay, so I hate to admit it, 693 00:34:42,333 --> 00:34:43,643 but you were right. 694 00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:45,412 A little bit. 695 00:34:45,436 --> 00:34:47,581 I will do anything for my friends, 696 00:34:47,605 --> 00:34:49,182 and do I hide behind them... yeah. 697 00:34:49,206 --> 00:34:51,551 And do I use them as an excuse not to write? 698 00:34:51,575 --> 00:34:53,920 Honestly, I'd use anything as an excuse not to write, 699 00:34:53,944 --> 00:34:57,839 because... okay, I'm afraid I might fail... 700 00:34:57,863 --> 00:34:59,393 one terrible page away 701 00:34:59,417 --> 00:35:01,762 from confirming I'm the worst writer in history. 702 00:35:01,786 --> 00:35:05,365 All of that to say if I'm sending mixed messages, 703 00:35:05,389 --> 00:35:09,069 it's because... I don't know who I am. 704 00:35:09,093 --> 00:35:11,538 So how am I supposed to know what I want? 705 00:35:11,562 --> 00:35:14,174 And I know... I know I sound super gross, 706 00:35:14,198 --> 00:35:16,889 like so... I don't know... millennial. 707 00:35:16,913 --> 00:35:19,046 Don't say anything. 708 00:35:19,070 --> 00:35:21,114 In this moment, you are everything. 709 00:35:21,138 --> 00:35:22,649 Here's the thing. 710 00:35:22,673 --> 00:35:26,586 If you know who you are, it's not like you share it. 711 00:35:26,610 --> 00:35:31,091 I mean, you're a Nice Guy with the "You are remarkable" stuff 712 00:35:31,115 --> 00:35:33,727 and Feelings Guy with the "Write what moves you." 713 00:35:33,751 --> 00:35:36,196 But then you try and go down on me 714 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:37,564 in the middle of a furniture store. 715 00:35:37,588 --> 00:35:40,247 If I didn't know better, I'd think you were hiding something. 716 00:35:40,958 --> 00:35:43,592 For God's sakes, why are you holding a Pendleton blanket? 717 00:35:46,430 --> 00:35:49,576 I've never even seen your place. 718 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,546 And you never talk about any of your friends. 719 00:35:52,570 --> 00:35:54,536 I mean, who are you? 720 00:35:57,514 --> 00:36:00,153 Okay, that was too much. Um... 721 00:36:00,177 --> 00:36:02,055 It sounded better in my head. 722 00:36:02,079 --> 00:36:03,687 I wanna show you something. 723 00:36:11,322 --> 00:36:13,789 You wanna know me, Beck? 724 00:36:18,496 --> 00:36:21,374 I'll show you exactly who I am. 725 00:36:37,481 --> 00:36:40,057 This is where we keep the rarest books... 726 00:36:40,751 --> 00:36:43,363 the collectibles, first editions. 727 00:36:49,426 --> 00:36:51,343 It's paper, cloth, leather, 728 00:36:52,027 --> 00:36:54,474 paste. It's all vulnerable. 729 00:36:54,498 --> 00:36:56,543 All sensitive to light, 730 00:36:56,567 --> 00:36:58,345 humidity, temperature. 731 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,184 That's why... 732 00:37:04,208 --> 00:37:06,542 they need to be in here. 733 00:37:08,179 --> 00:37:09,811 To protect them. 734 00:37:11,882 --> 00:37:13,527 I can take you to my apartment. 735 00:37:14,430 --> 00:37:16,593 Anytime you want. 736 00:37:19,857 --> 00:37:22,002 I want you to meet my friends, I do. 737 00:37:22,026 --> 00:37:23,558 But this... 738 00:37:25,769 --> 00:37:27,140 this right here 739 00:37:27,646 --> 00:37:31,033 is the most important place in the world to me. 740 00:37:31,969 --> 00:37:33,777 As weird as it sounds... 741 00:37:35,573 --> 00:37:39,619 these books are more alive, 742 00:37:39,643 --> 00:37:42,989 more... worthy 743 00:37:43,013 --> 00:37:44,913 than most people I know. 744 00:37:47,184 --> 00:37:50,185 You wanna know who I am, this is it. 745 00:38:13,621 --> 00:38:14,743 There you are. 746 00:38:14,767 --> 00:38:17,958 That's it. I am officially out of the Tinder business. 747 00:38:17,982 --> 00:38:20,160 Bravo, honey. 748 00:38:20,184 --> 00:38:22,829 I just... Oh, I feel like this is a good step, you know? 749 00:38:22,853 --> 00:38:25,065 Like this is good for me. 750 00:38:25,495 --> 00:38:27,667 Joe is good for me. 751 00:38:27,691 --> 00:38:29,224 Whatever you need, Becks. 752 00:38:31,084 --> 00:38:34,007 No, I'm just saying... and I mean this, honestly... 753 00:38:34,031 --> 00:38:36,776 maybe a simple life isn't so bad. 754 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,545 Maybe it's what you need. 755 00:38:38,569 --> 00:38:39,958 Maybe I should be looking for that. 756 00:38:39,982 --> 00:38:42,986 - Joe isn't simple. - He's... he's different. 757 00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:45,185 Complicated. 758 00:38:46,183 --> 00:38:47,587 That's funny... 759 00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:49,389 there's a book missing. 760 00:38:50,020 --> 00:38:52,425 - Really? - What book is that? 761 00:38:52,449 --> 00:38:54,027 "Ozma of Oz." 762 00:38:54,051 --> 00:38:56,196 Huh. It was just here. 763 00:38:56,220 --> 00:38:58,798 Joe was looking at it at my party. 764 00:38:58,822 --> 00:39:01,101 I'm sure it'll turn up. 765 00:39:11,735 --> 00:39:14,681 You've deleted Tinder, and now you've called 766 00:39:14,705 --> 00:39:16,950 and asked me to come over. 767 00:39:17,339 --> 00:39:21,801 My faith in our epic love story is officially restored. 768 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,491 - I'm sorry, Joe. - I'm so stupid. 769 00:39:24,515 --> 00:39:27,761 I left your list on my bed, and Ron found it. 770 00:39:27,785 --> 00:39:29,829 - I'm sorry. - You're not stupid. 771 00:39:29,853 --> 00:39:33,033 - It's not your fault. - I tried to explain, but... 772 00:39:33,057 --> 00:39:35,273 It's not your fault! 773 00:39:37,394 --> 00:39:39,606 Guys like Ron are bullies. 774 00:39:39,630 --> 00:39:42,614 We just need to stay one step ahead of them. 775 00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:46,024 Like the Musketeers... always one step ahead of the Cardinal. 776 00:39:46,048 --> 00:39:47,160 Right? 777 00:39:48,368 --> 00:39:49,816 One for all... 778 00:39:50,413 --> 00:39:52,813 And all for one. 779 00:39:53,584 --> 00:39:54,527 Paco! 780 00:39:55,377 --> 00:39:56,823 Get inside. 781 00:39:57,879 --> 00:40:01,194 I can smell the bourbon from here. 782 00:40:01,758 --> 00:40:03,163 I told you... 783 00:40:03,635 --> 00:40:05,298 leave the kid alone. 784 00:40:05,322 --> 00:40:06,966 Look, you may have the cops fooled 785 00:40:06,990 --> 00:40:08,802 with your bullshit tomato garden, 786 00:40:08,826 --> 00:40:10,600 but I'm right. 787 00:40:11,128 --> 00:40:12,894 There's something wrong with you. 788 00:40:14,451 --> 00:40:16,584 I see it in your eyes. 789 00:40:26,449 --> 00:40:27,587 File that away 790 00:40:27,611 --> 00:40:29,089 Under future problems. 791 00:40:29,113 --> 00:40:30,590 Knock, knock. You here yet? 792 00:40:30,614 --> 00:40:32,726 Because tonight... 793 00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:35,929 tonight I show you... I'm The One. 794 00:40:47,831 --> 00:40:49,798 You can make me pancakes later. 795 00:41:25,402 --> 00:41:26,835 Oh... 796 00:41:33,410 --> 00:41:35,644 Did you just...