1
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,008
[Tina] You're happy.

2
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:13,554
[Karen] Yes.

3
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,390
[Tina] Really?

4
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,726
[Karen] Yes.

5
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,355
[sirens in background]

6
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,779
[xylophone music]

7
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,490
[song]

8
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,564
Do you know how much the flowers
at the wedding cost?

9
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,906
How come everyone always knows
how much the flowers cost?

10
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,238
How come you're so goddamn cute?

11
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,949
[both giggle]

12
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,382
[Tina] If we have time
before they come...

13
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,139
[Wayne] We have time,
we'll make time.

14
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:28,438
[Karen] How can you not remember
her? She was at our wedding.

15
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:31,816
- [Don] You never talk to her.
- She's my only close friend from art school.

16
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,145
I mentioned to her that we were coming
into the city, I can't not see her.

17
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,483
And this is where she lives?

18
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,195
This can't be right.

19
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,578
They better have a TV.

20
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,201
I hate what I'm wearing.

21
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,284
Hang on a second.

22
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,376
[Karen] Is this it?

23
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,877
I don't know,
there's no numbers.

24
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,421
How can there not
be any numbers?

25
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,462
[she giggles]

26
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,298
- [splash]
- [she screams]

27
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,510
- Son of a bitch!
- No, no, no, no, no, just drive.

28
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,435
Just drive.

29
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,064
Damn it!

30
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,356
What's that?

31
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,948
- [both giggling]
- Nice neighborhood.

32
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,997
[music continues]

33
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,218
[Wayne]
Tina wants me to get going.

34
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,183
No. We're having people over.

35
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:57,606
No, no, no, it's fine.

36
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,062
We love you too.

37
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:00,488
Okay, bye, bye.

38
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,319
Get dressed, please.

39
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,821
Relax.

40
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,868
OK, it so doesn't relax me
when you say that.

41
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,501
How do I look?

42
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,128
How are you trying to look?

43
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,753
Um, accomplished.

44
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,925
And excessively tasteful, sexy?

45
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,380
I mean, yeah.

46
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,599
Yeah!

47
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:33,350
Now it's time to play
hide the [unintelligible] lie.

48
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,682
Depressants.

49
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,188
Oh my god, where's the squirrel?

50
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,816
Yes.

51
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,990
- Oh...
- This was our favorite wedding present. Okay?

52
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:47,035
Whatever you say, just please
get it away from me.

53
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,245
Please.

54
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,413
[buzzer]

55
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,623
We're on four.

56
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,993
You're doing great, babe,
doing great.

57
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,268
That, that's draggi...
Never mind, it's good.

58
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,731
You look great.

59
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,713
Why didn't you guys
take the elevator?

60
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,131
Ah, I think it's out of order.

61
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,674
- It's a little temperamental.
- Ah-ha.

62
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,301
I haven't seen you
since your wedding.

63
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,211
- Well, you smell nice.
- Oh, thanks.

64
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:52,141
You, look at you!
You're, you're huge!

65
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,596
[panting] I can't breathe.
The baby's pressing on my lungs.

66
00:05:56,815 --> 00:06:00,434
- Ah, you look great.
- Ah-hah, thanks.

67
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,894
- This is Wayne.
- [Wayne] laughing.

68
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,945
So nice to meet you, Wayne.

69
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:08,194
Ah, pregnant women
smell so wonderful.

70
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,242
Okay.

71
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,948
I'm sorry,
but where's your bathroom?

72
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,579
Oh um, through the curtain.

73
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,369
Wow.

74
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:40,436
This is a wonderfully buttery
chardonnay we found in Napa.

75
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,642
Awesome. Babe do you wanna
put that in the fridge?

76
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,279
You found this OK?

77
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,114
Yeah, someone
threw something at our car.

78
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,192
- What are you driving?
- Cadillac.

79
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,279
- Hmm.
- I'm parked right out front, you think the car is gonna be OK?

80
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,365
I don't know,
we don't have a car.

81
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,620
We were looking
at a building near here

82
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,375
I was thinking of buying.

83
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,662
- Yeah, Karen said the whole building, huh?
- Yeah.

84
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,793
Six floors,
5,000 square feet per floor.

85
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,544
Holy shit!

86
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,672
Yeah, originally I thought maybe
we'd do one unit per floor.

87
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,713
But this
neighborhood is a little...

88
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,764
- Were you thinking about living here?
- No, god no.

89
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,342
- [Wayne] It's really real.
- It's a little too real.

90
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,524
[Tina] Uh.

91
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,140
Uh, thank you, Wayne.

92
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,481
So how long have
you guys lived here?

93
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,279
- [Tina] Uh...
- [Don] You got this place when?

94
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,154
Well, you should have seen it
when I got it.

95
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,953
This guy was like running
a motorcycle shop out of it,

96
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:41,626
but he was growing psilocybin
mushrooms in cat shit upstairs.

97
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,670
For years. It smelt like
cat shit whenever it rained.

98
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,543
- How intoxicating.
- Huh.

99
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,173
- So it's two floors?
- Yeah, yeah, my studio is upstairs.

100
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,629
Wow, that's great.

101
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,639
Oh my god, the squirrel.

102
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:56,931
[she laughs]

103
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,975
Oh my god, the squirrel.

104
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,474
Hey, you know that's actually
our favorite wedding gift.

105
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,056
You bought that?

106
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,482
Don, did I tell you
that thing about them eloping?

107
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,439
- No.
- Tina wanted to elope.

108
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,112
No, no, no, no, no,
Wayne wanted to elope.

109
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,737
Right. And so Tina left
a cantaloupe on the counter

110
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,402
with a note
that said "can't elope".

111
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,737
Get it?

112
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,117
- Can't elope.
- You did tell me that.

113
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,995
But then we did. In Fiji, argh!

114
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,920
You should see the marriage certificate,
the guy was drunk on cava.

115
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,497
That signature was priceless.

116
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,582
- [laughing]
- Hilarious.

117
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,465
- Ooo, would you look at that belly! How crazy is that?
- Eight months?

118
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,093
Have you read Ina May Gaskin's
guide to childbirth?

119
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,718
- His favorite.
- No.

120
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,927
Oh, you must. I mean
the part about orgasmic birth.

121
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,187
- [Wayne] Incredible.
- [Karen] Woah!

122
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,771
Did you know amniotic fluid
is actually urine?

123
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,649
- Let's open that wine.
- [laughs] Good idea.

124
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,356
Well, I made
fresh orange juice for Karen.

125
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,111
- Folic acid.
- Thank you.

126
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,031
He is sweet.

127
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,116
Isn't he?

128
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,852
- Don, look at all this artwork.
- Yeah, it's all stuff our friends did.

129
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,321
- That's Lee Majors.
- The artist?

130
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,445
[Tina] The portrait?
Six million dollar man.

131
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:41,028
[laughs] It's nice you put
your friends stuff up.

132
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,370
[Tina] Oh sorry, are you OK?

133
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,167
I'm OK. I'm alright.

134
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,169
- [Tina] I'm so sorry.
- I'm OK, I'm OK.

135
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,290
[Don] Hey Wayne, are you
following that Mets game today?

136
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,967
Oh, we don't have a TV.

137
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,338
OK, so who's not drinking?

138
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,468
I'm abstaining in solidarity.

139
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,851
- Karen?
- I, I don't want Don to feel left out.

140
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,761
- Thank you.
- Are you using a pelvic floor stretcher?

141
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,096
What? Wayne.

142
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,432
- Um.
- It's amazing.

143
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:13,645
It's basically a latex balloon
that you insert internally,

144
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,900
to train the vagina to stretch.

145
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,984
You know, so you don't get any
perinatal tearing during delivery.

146
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,488
- Wow.
- Wow, yeah.

147
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,369
- I really recommend it.
- Thank you.

148
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,822
[Wayne] At the very least you
should be doing perinatal massage.

149
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,125
- OK.
- It's not too unlike anal training for ass-play.

150
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,749
- Okay.
- Cheers then, ahh.

151
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,423
Cheers to a...
Wait, wait, boy or a girl?

152
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,467
I wanted Don to be surprised.

153
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:39,930
Don wants a boy.

154
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,632
Why would you say that?

155
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,183
Wild guess.

156
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,637
Oh, we recently learned
this wonderful thing.

157
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:51,896
When toasting, the eyes meet,
and the glasses find each other.

158
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,357
- [giggles]
- Cheers.

159
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,280
- [glasses clinking]
- Cheers.

160
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,614
- Oh, that's tart.
- Oh dank.

161
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,072
This is frickin' delicious!

162
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,748
- Glad you like it.
- [glasses chink]

163
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,327
You know it's illegal
to sell pregnant women alcohol

164
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,128
in New York City and cigarettes.

165
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,672
I think that's
outrageously paternalistic.

166
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,501
I don't think the rights
of pregnant women to smoke

167
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,837
is not the most pressing issue
to devote oneself to.

168
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,924
It's the state creeping into our
lives that's what's insidious.

169
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,184
I actually agree with that.

170
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,927
Thank you.

171
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,889
A woman gives up her rights as
an adult when she gets pregnant?

172
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,188
Her right to drink.

173
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,357
- Her right to choose.
- To drink?

174
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,105
[chuckles] And smoke.

175
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,607
- You really don't have a TV?
- No.

176
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,107
Tina, are you still making
those clothes out of money?

177
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,408
That's not what I was doing.

178
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,660
It was something
like that though.

179
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,870
It was about the aesthetic

180
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,199
of it, the design of money
and the materialism.

181
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,125
That's actually
how Wayne and I met.

182
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,623
Oh, yes.

183
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,205
Wayne had this magazine,
literary slash art...

184
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,915
Yeah, but it wasn't,
it wasn't mine.

185
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,252
[Tina] Well, he was part of this
magazine collective thingy

186
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,087
and he interviewed me.

187
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,640
And I took him home
and he never left.

188
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,843
So that's what you do, Wayne?

189
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,975
- No, no, not anymore.
- So what do you do?

190
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:17,109
I don't define myself
by my work, Don.

191
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,232
[pats him on the shoulder]

192
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,154
Don, did I ever tell you about that
museum gift shop thing that Tina did?

193
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,447
No.

194
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,775
I can't believe
you remember that.

195
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,993
I still have that pin.

196
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,702
Seriously? Aw.

197
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,622
But what are you doing?
How's your photography?

198
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,283
Oh, I haven't
done that for years.

199
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,667
That was totally temporary.

200
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,837
You were such
a great photographer.

201
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,131
I was a medical photographer.

202
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,881
Why didn't you ever do that show like I
told you? That was such a great idea.

203
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,055
Tina wanted me to do an art show
with my photography.

204
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,723
You photographed
peoples' lesions.

205
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,927
It was such a great idea.
Someone would write it up.

206
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,979
Don's becoming a little bit
of a collector.

207
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,856
[Tina] Really?

208
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,279
- Who are you collecting?
- Uh, I just got a Gerhard Richter.

209
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,777
- Really?
- I helped him pick it out.

210
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,280
Hey, art appreciates even if
I don't appreciate art.

211
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,862
Have you read his book
<i>The Daily Practice of Painting?</i>

212
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,197
I don't know
jack shit about the guy.

213
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,829
- [phone rings]
- Don't get that.

214
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,626
[Karen] Oh, you guys can
take a call.

215
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,204
No, u-hum.

216
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,590
- [phone rings again]
- She knows we're here.

217
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,878
She also knows we have company.

218
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,428
[phone rings] - I, I wanna take it.
- Don't.

219
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,555
One second, Kiki.

220
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,179
Kiki, who's Kiki?

221
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,852
Uh, are you guys
gonna breastfeed?

222
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,726
Yeah.

223
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,352
I mean, I'm planning to.

224
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,855
It's weird, right? A kid
hanging off your boob all day

225
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,527
like some kind of... tick.

226
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,948
- Pretty distracting.
- Or bonding and beautiful.

227
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,366
Jeeze, Tina.

228
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,325
Ideally it's bonding,

229
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,699
but when you have shit to do I don't know,
I wouldn't want someone

230
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,328
sucking on my nipples all day.
I mean, in a perfect world.

231
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,909
Well, I'm looking forward to it.

232
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,996
It's kind of one of
life's great experiences.

233
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,422
Yeah, no sorry, um...

234
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,881
I've just been thinking
about this stuff a lot.

235
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,097
I, um...

236
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,258
I'm actually doing a piece

237
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,090
- on motherhood.
- Really?

238
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,971
It's gonna be
a long term project.

239
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,849
Like a major life's work.

240
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,896
I started collecting baby books

241
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,191
and I'm interviewing people
who work in orphanages

242
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,860
- and zookeepers.
- Zookeepers?

243
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,734
Daughters, mothers, men.

244
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,443
Abortion providers.

245
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:30,075
I've gotten
really into bronzing,

246
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,075
you know like, uh,
baby shoe bronzing

247
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,240
and collecting baby teeth...

248
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,166
It's called EGG,
or EGG Provocation.

249
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,124
It's a commission
from the new museum.

250
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,800
Wow!

251
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,502
That's great, Tina.

252
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,721
Good for you.

253
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,886
Do you find that people don't know what to
talk to you about when you're pregnant?

254
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,107
It's like this...

255
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,764
awkward thing.

256
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,310
Like, like when someone's
terminally ill,

257
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,145
and you're supposed to ask them
all these medical questions.

258
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,698
I, I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I said that?

259
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:13,027
No, it's just that it's more
like being a celebrity.

260
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,363
I feel like I get
all this special attention.

261
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:21,578
I feel very admired
and loved... and lucky.

262
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,044
- Really?
- Although...

263
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,670
It can be weird

264
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,922
when you're with people
that don't have children.

265
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,882
- Why is that?
- I don't know, you feel...

266
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,433
I don't know,

267
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,761
sorry for them, I guess.

268
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:47,440
I'm gonna get some cheese.

269
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,245
You shut up.
[giggling under her breath]

270
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,870
- Hey, you wanted to come.
- She's just insecure.

271
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,542
She's nuts, I can't take
another hour of this.

272
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,876
Stop it.
We're gonna have dinner.

273
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,756
- What does he do?
- Quiet.

274
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,755
I mean look at this place.

275
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,713
I'm gonna go check on the car.

276
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,179
- And listen to the game?
- Mm, maybe.

277
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,645
Oh uh, hey,
everything OK in there?

278
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,022
Hey, yeah thanks.

279
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,567
- Cheese?
- Pregnancy-safe cheeses.

280
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:28,978
It's so thoughtful.

281
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,197
Hey, did you tell them
about the house?

282
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,201
No.

283
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:34,949
Well...

284
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,821
Don acquired quite a bit of land
on this incredible island

285
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,121
in the Puget Sound.

286
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,120
- Wow.
- And we thought with the baby

287
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,827
it would be wonderful to build
this really special retreat.

288
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,412
Ah, we have an old family friend
who's an architect.

289
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,715
- He's really into ecology.
- As architects are.

290
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,589
He designed and built us
this fantastic place.

291
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,628
You didn't even tell me.

292
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,511
He used all these local materials
like old telephone poles and glass

293
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,467
and stone, but it's modern.

294
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,928
It's really like a work of art.

295
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,184
Dad did everything, I mean
furniture, appliances.

296
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,436
He shipped us this amazing
energy efficiency dishwasher

297
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,527
all the way from Italy.

298
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,814
Defeats the purpose.

299
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,145
[Karen] And I've been
keeping these folders

300
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,947
of sink fixtures,
counter tops and whatever

301
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,865
and John the architect
really liked my ideas.

302
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,444
I have always said
you had great ideas.

303
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,154
It really is like
living in a dream.

304
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,917
Ah, you know what?
We have news too.

305
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:28,708
We, we do?

306
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,087
- Tell'em.
- Uh, you tell'em.

307
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,338
You are the first people
we've told, you tell.

308
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,175
I don't want
to make any mistakes.

309
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,848
- You tell'em.
- You guys, what?

310
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,177
We're having a baby too, yay!

311
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,389
- Oh my god!
- [laughs]

312
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:47,773
[Karen] Tina!

313
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,607
That's great, you guys!

314
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,562
- Ahh, nice work.
- Wow!

315
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:53,941
How far along are you?

316
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,818
- Uhm...
- 11 weeks.

317
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,114
11 weeks, yeah.

318
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,076
- Are you feeling sick at all?
- No.

319
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,119
Never felt better.

320
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,120
- That's great.
- Yeah.

321
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,909
Wow, I am...

322
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:10,288
- That's great.
- Yeah, well, we are in the club too, cheers!

323
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:16,252
Here Tina, I hate
when people lecture me.

324
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:20,259
But fetal alcohol syndrome
is actually very serious.

325
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,090
Especially
in the first trimester.

326
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,552
- Yeah, sorry.
- I know you have your political stance.

327
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,638
I, I forgot.
I'm not actually pregnant.

328
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,058
- We have a surrogate mother.
- Hm.

329
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,237
Oh.

330
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,894
Oh.

331
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,604
- Oh wow!
- Yeah.

332
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,439
- Yeah.
- Oh, a surrogate?

333
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,650
- Yeah.
- We know a gay couple who did that.

334
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,986
- We do?
- Yeah, the guy who did our window treatments.

335
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,911
Okay.

336
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,489
Did you have to go through all
that awful IVF fertility stuff?

337
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,949
No.

338
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,000
- Well, that's good.
- Yeah, no I can, I mean

339
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,045
we can.
This was more of an option.

340
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,964
- Okay?
- Er, um.

341
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,418
Sort of a utopian pregnancy.

342
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,136
A utopian pregnancy?

343
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,011
It's sort of err, dismantling

344
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,013
and restructuring of
the traditional family unit.

345
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:11,558
A re-distribution of rules to a
more shared economy kind of thing.

346
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,644
- Kind of.
- You are the first people we've told,

347
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,478
we don't really have
the rap down yet.

348
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,939
So you can
have the baby yourself?

349
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,118
Right, yes I... we can,
we choose not to.

350
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,070
You're paying someone
to have the baby for you?

351
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,330
Yeah.

352
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,539
Perfect!

353
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,415
Wait, is this
part of your project?

354
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,794
- Actually, yes.
- So this was her idea, right?

355
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,170
- Yeah.
- Look, it's a, it's a shared project.

356
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,752
Right. I'm just
the one who conceived it.

357
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,506
The project, not the baby.

358
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,214
Yeah, of course
the project obviously.

359
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,220
It's a collaborative endeavor.

360
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,097
Kiki's the one who's
having the actual baby.

361
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,975
Yeah, I'm just saying
it was my idea.

362
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,308
I hardly think that it's right to
discount the labor that goes into it.

363
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,769
Just because you're controlling
the means of production.

364
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,398
Mm, that sounds hot.

365
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,401
I'm obviously saying this from...

366
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,857
Why don't you,
why don't you tell them?

367
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,200
Didn't wanna get fat?

368
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,535
- Thanks.
- Not particularly, no.

369
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,703
Didn't want to be
inconvenienced.

370
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:13,127
No, but its more that because the
traditional family role structure

371
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,999
is obsolete

372
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,128
and pretty much sucks for women
and men and children,

373
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,301
I decided to change it.

374
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,295
What sucks about it?

375
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,678
Well, I think Tina feels that there
are issues with traditional roles.

376
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,726
I mean, I wouldn't wanna
be a mother. Would you?

377
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,935
- But you wanna have a baby!
- [Tina] Err...

378
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,812
Do you want
to have a baby, Tina?

379
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,019
We hired a surrogate mother.

380
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,776
- And this person that you hired is going to be...
- The mother.

381
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,732
She will have that title.

382
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:48,161
Yes, whatever that means, that's
what she wanted. God love her.

383
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,786
- Did you bone the surrogate?
- Oh my god.

384
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,995
Tina's egg fertilized with my sperm was
transplanted into our friends womb.

385
00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,129
Ah, naturally.
Transplanted into... Yeah.

386
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,794
We were both there when
they introduced the zygote.

387
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:04,971
Must have been
a precious moment.

388
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,179
So it is your egg?

389
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,465
Yes, it's my egg
and Wayne's sperm.

390
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,893
Look, some women are really
into giving birth.

391
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,812
Others just do it
for reasons of vanity.

392
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:17,562
- Vanity.
- Or ego or guilt.

393
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,188
If you didn't have
to do it yourself

394
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,439
why else would you do it?

395
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,146
It's not unlike having

396
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,698
assistants execute your art.

397
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,401
You have to learn.
how to delegate.

398
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,703
I think tons of women
would love to do what I'm doing

399
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:32,577
- they're just not ballsy enough to do it.
- And you're ballsy enough?

400
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:37,873
If government and businesses are
going to devalue women's work

401
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,461
and make motherhood
economically unfeasible,

402
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,088
why not outsource it until
they make it worth our whiles

403
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,920
to keep babies
in their own mothers wombs.

404
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,552
Yes, yes. [clicking his fingers]

405
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,182
You see this is why
people hate liberals.

406
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,014
Is this a joke
or are you guys doing this?

407
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,310
We're really doing it.

408
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,102
If you don't wanna have the
child, why don't you just adopt?

409
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,684
- Why don't you?
- Why don't you?

410
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,187
Well, Wayne was really into
having his own genetics, so...

411
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:05,817
So were you.

412
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,820
Oh, I didn't really want it
to be yours and hers.

413
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,776
- That's not the point.
- Oh, you don't want it to be hers.

414
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,076
But you want
her to be the mother.

415
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,201
Um, Tina is

416
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,457
like a sperm donor.

417
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,041
I'm so not like a sperm donor.

418
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,040
I mean, you're,
you're an egg donor.

419
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,416
No, I'm not.

420
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,668
Well, she's the mother
what are you?

421
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:23,885
I don't know.

422
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,176
I haven't put a label on it.

423
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:29,926
That's the most interesting part
about it, I get to

424
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,847
create the role.

425
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,721
Fun.

426
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,303
[sighs] I'm just not into
being hormonally brainwashed

427
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,642
into this unhealthy attachment

428
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,941
that women have
with their babies.

429
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,562
Unhealthy attachment?

430
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,860
It's not unhealthy.

431
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,695
A child needs this.

432
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,444
And it's not an attachment,
it's a connection.

433
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,778
I already feel this
incredible connection.

434
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:54,749
Great.

435
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,917
I'm looking forward to having
a different kind of connection.

436
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,837
One that's less based on biology

437
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,880
and quite frankly economics.

438
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:08,256
- What is that supposed to mean?
- I'm not against having kids.

439
00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,761
I love kids.

440
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,089
They're awesome.

441
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:15,346
I prefer kids to most adults,
I mean...

442
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,976
Raising a child, talk about an,

443
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:22,853
an amazing experiment.

444
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:26,311
So, you're really having more
of an experiment than a baby?

445
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,650
It's more like making
a work of art.

446
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:33,657
I'm not creating her,
I'm allowing her into existence.

447
00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:34,953
You're having a girl?

448
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:37,948
Yeah, I mean well 90% yeah.

449
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:41,163
It's early, but you could buy
these DNA tests at like Walgreens.

450
00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:43,620
You can tell at 11 weeks.

451
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:46,749
Wow, you guys.

452
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:49,630
[Don chuckles]

453
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,466
OK, it's not unlike cheese.

454
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:58,180
Cheese was created as a way
to preserve milk

455
00:23:58,395 --> 00:23:59,511
before there was refrigeration.

456
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,471
But we don't
need cheese anymore.

457
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,807
But we fetishize it,
it's become this

458
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:07,064
highly stylized thing
we've developed a taste for.

459
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,736
Having a baby the old way

460
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,112
is a total fetish at this point.

461
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,410
I'm not doing anything different
than a gay mom.

462
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,487
Or, or a trans mom.

463
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,538
- Or a Don.
- Perfect.

464
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:20,786
I think I need some water.

465
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,042
- I'll get it.
- I'll get it.

466
00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:23,626
I'll get it.

467
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,009
[Tina] I'm just saying that
maybe if your mother hadn't

468
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:37,011
endured the pain
of childbirth for you

469
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,558
and sacrificed
her identity for you,

470
00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:40,681
- you wouldn't screen her calls.
- Thank you.

471
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,559
Ahem, I'm curious

472
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:47,518
about this friend
you impregnated.

473
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:51,946
- Heh, uh, Kiki?
- Yeah, Kiki.

474
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,319
- That was her on the phone before?
- Yeah.

475
00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:57,494
She very much wanted to give birth,
but her situation was such that she couldn't.

476
00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:01,119
Her... situation

477
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,076
- was such?
- Let's just say it works for her.

478
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,253
We're gonna be three people
without preconceived notions

479
00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,205
of designated roles.

480
00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:10,507
Four.

481
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:11,670
- Four what?
- Four people.

482
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:15,003
- With Kiki.
- Yes four, obviously.

483
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:16,838
Is she going to
take care of the baby?

484
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:18,798
We're going to work
those things out as we go along.

485
00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,475
Are you having a nanny?

486
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:23,178
Yeah, I mean, yeah.

487
00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:25,810
[Karen chuckles] -
So how is that different from me?

488
00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:28,608
It's different.

489
00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,857
Meanwhile the kids
usually like the nanny better.

490
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:33,188
No, they don't!

491
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:36,525
I'm gonna be like
the fun, sexy nanny then.

492
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:37,868
Is Kiki moving in with you?

493
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,202
- No.
- Maybe temporarily.

494
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,405
You're figuring it out
as you go.

495
00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:43,073
She's not living here.

496
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,991
Don't eat too much.

497
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,203
Oh, these cheeses are from
this lesbian couple upstate

498
00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:50,584
that name
each one of their goats.

499
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:53,166
Stop fetishizing the cheese.

500
00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:55,380
Hmm-hmm, fuck off.

501
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:57,929
Oh my god, I was kidding!

502
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:02,847
People have the most fucked up
reasons for having kids.

503
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:06,055
I know women who have them
just to jump social class.

504
00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,310
Or, or to hang on
to their husbands.

505
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:10,517
Meanwhile, half the time the guy doesn't
want to be a father in the first place.

506
00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:14,104
- He's just going along with it.
- Jesus Christ, Tina!

507
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,191
It's not all so sinister.

508
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,742
It's actually one of the most
beautiful things in life.

509
00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:23,663
And I, I think it's sad
that you can't see it that way.

510
00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:28,702
Well, I do too.

511
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:35,963
So Kiki is whose friend?

512
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:42,136
- She originally was my friend.
- [Don gently hmms]

513
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:45,219
She was temping at the place
where Wayne was freelancing.

514
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,351
- Classic.
- Did you talk to anyone before you did this?

515
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:52,775
Did you talk to anyone
before you did this?

516
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:55,353
No.

517
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:59,532
You didn't ask us if we'd talked to anyone when
you thought we were having a regular old baby.

518
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:01,200
You thought it was awesome.

519
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,572
Actually I didn't.

520
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,707
Really?

521
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,249
I mean I was happy for you,
but I was surprised.

522
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:12,537
You... You're a little selfish.

523
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:16,250
[Tina chuckles] I'm selfish?

524
00:27:17,386 --> 00:27:18,593
A little, yeah.

525
00:27:20,514 --> 00:27:22,050
You know I don't even
think this sounds legal.

526
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,928
Legal?

527
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:26,100
Legal, that's not a moral code
I'm particularly interested in.

528
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,394
- So you and Kiki don't have a contract?
- No.

529
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:31,643
- No.
- All these privileges for married people

530
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:34,397
and families, tax breaks
and health insurance

531
00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:36,603
- and Green Cards, it's sick.
- Why did you get married?

532
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:39,857
Wayne was broke,
you gotta work the system.

533
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,572
- [phone rings]
- Don't get that.

534
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,502
Hang on a sec.

535
00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:54,204
You know for a minute there
I forgot all about the game.

536
00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:58,834
I like Scandinavian mothers.

537
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,136
They're so relaxed.

538
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:05,715
I could totally be
like a Danish mom.

539
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,555
What's up?

540
00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,432
- She told Clark.
- Argh, that idiot.

541
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:13,481
- Wait, hang on hang on you're going out?
- Wait.

542
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,479
I could go with you.
We could take my car.

543
00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:16,980
- [Wayne] Great.
- Wayne. - Don.

544
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,403
I'll be right back, Tina.

545
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,818
- Okay.
- Wait!

546
00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:23,241
- Have fun.
- [Tina] When are you... Wayne.

547
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,379
- [elevator clunks]
- It does that sometimes.

548
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:38,502
[elevator stops, then starts]

549
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:52,020
[music]

550
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,028
You know why Don went?
He wants to listen to the game in the car.

551
00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:07,861
- I'm sorry if I got a little...
- Yeah.

552
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,663
It's just, this
whole thing with Kiki is...

553
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,866
What happened?
Who's this guy she told?

554
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:14,166
Kiki's boyfriend

555
00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:15,789
who's married.

556
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:18,166
- Her boyfriend's married?
- With five kids.

557
00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:20,169
Are you serious?

558
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:23,627
Well, four or five,
five if you count the one in the institution.

559
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:25,928
Yeah, the one
in the institution counts.

560
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,850
So, five then.

561
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,762
I feel dizzy,
do you have any food?

562
00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:32,640
Oh yeah, sorry.

563
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:35,888
So go straight and to the left.

564
00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:38,350
[the game on the radio
in the background]

565
00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:39,608
We're not far.

566
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:42,861
Hey, we can drag this out
as long as you like.

567
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:45,860
You want me to put
that seat back for you?

568
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:53,702
- Better?
- Yeah.

569
00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:58,498
- You want some air?
- Yeah.

570
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:09,092
Oh my god, Karen, I'm so sorry.
You must be so hungry.

571
00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:13,809
Wayne made this Ethiopian dish.

572
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,138
Oo, what is it?

573
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,598
- Wat.
- What?

574
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,855
- Wat, that's wat.
- Oh.

575
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:24,483
Thank you so much. I'm starving.

576
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:29,325
I'm sorry. I was supposed to be
Wayne's [indistinct] tonight.

577
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,242
- I totally spaced.
- It's really good.

578
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:38,159
Really? Mm.

579
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:43,085
- This is good chow.
- Mm, this is seriously good.

580
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,542
Hey, I wanna show you
something upstairs.

581
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,796
- You still smoking?
- Yeah, but not in the house.

582
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,949
Where did you get these?

583
00:31:18,168 --> 00:31:20,751
People kept on sending us
pictures of their kids,

584
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,545
so I just blew 'em up.

585
00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:27,296
Do your ex-boyfriends send you
pictures of their kids all the time?

586
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:29,798
- No.
- Mine do.

587
00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:36,351
Do you think it's this weird
sexual overture or aggression?

588
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,804
- Maybe they're just proud.
- Doubt it.

589
00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:44,233
Remember Marcello,
the organic herb guy from the farmers market?

590
00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:46,902
- Vaguely.
- That's his son.

591
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,563
He's so cute!

592
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,115
Entre.

593
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:03,794
It does sort of smell
like cat piss in here.

594
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,086
[Tina giggles]

595
00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:09,884
[cat meows]

596
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,097
Wow.

597
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:18,013
I've been collecting jewelry,
that women make out of baby teeth.

598
00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:23,264
Necklaces with their kids'
initials and names on it.

599
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:26,851
Like this weird
ostentatious conquest.

600
00:32:28,738 --> 00:32:31,856
So Kiki's married boyfriend

601
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,740
had no idea she was doing this?

602
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:38,196
They were taking a break after
he fired her from his office.

603
00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:39,496
Oh god.

604
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,415
Well, you have all
these single women

605
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:44,243
in these extra marital affairs
who want to be mothers.

606
00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,671
Well, maybe they shouldn't be
in extra marital affairs.

607
00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:48,373
Yeah, dream on!

608
00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:55,220
This just seems really weird.

609
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:57,382
You don't seem like
you want to have a baby.

610
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,221
Wayne didn't want it till June.

611
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:07,525
When we met,
he was totally against it.

612
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,228
We agreed, I mean...

613
00:33:10,405 --> 00:33:13,648
It was a big part of why
we were attracted to each other.

614
00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:16,735
We believed
in perfect bi-solation.

615
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:21,573
Two people,
alone together in love.

616
00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:25,284
We thought having kids
was a kind of agenda.

617
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,338
And then I got pregnant.

618
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,426
Oh.

619
00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:36,800
Which was an accident.

620
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,017
When?

621
00:33:39,184 --> 00:33:40,470
Like a year ago.

622
00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:46,726
- Oh, Tina.
- Yeah.

623
00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:53,237
We um, decided against it.

624
00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:57,734
Against the pregnancy, because

625
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,696
we agreed and it was an accident

626
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:02,450
and we didn't want them,

627
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:05,875
and we agreed, so...

628
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:08,415
We ended it.

629
00:34:10,924 --> 00:34:12,005
Was that hard?

630
00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:18,383
Yeah.

631
00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:22,178
Oh, I'm sorry.

632
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:27,305
Anyway, after that
we were suddenly...

633
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,684
It was weird,
I mean he was always

634
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,690
good with kids,
he would like them.

635
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:38,153
But suddenly,
he just had to be a father.

636
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,447
- Had to have a baby.
- Wow.

637
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:46,908
And then when
Wayne met Kiki, and...

638
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,287
She wanted to be a mother,
but she was in this stupid relationship

639
00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:54,169
where she couldn't
have one, and...

640
00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:02,716
I started thinking, I could do
as much as a father, right?

641
00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:06,147
Huh.

642
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:15,061
Hmm, it was something
he really wanted.

643
00:35:17,574 --> 00:35:20,282
And I wanted him
to have a life, you know.

644
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,370
What he really wanted.

645
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,004
Others have it easy.

646
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,836
Frickin' late, looking great.

647
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,552
My child, picture on the desk.

648
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,975
- I can do that.
- Come on.

649
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,151
[splashing sound]

650
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:01,369
[laughing]

651
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:08,073
I just wanted to do it
in a way that I could handle.

652
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:15,038
Why didn't you just try to get
pregnant again and see what happened?

653
00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,839
Uh-huh!

654
00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:23,718
Well, I guess it's nice you're
trying to give him what he wants.

655
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:26,803
Right.

656
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,435
- How old is Kiki?
- Our age, a little younger.

657
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:41,742
Sit down.

658
00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:56,629
Argh.

659
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,714
[electronic sounds]

660
00:36:58,925 --> 00:36:59,961
Awesome, right?

661
00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:06,426
Ahh, ha, ha, okay!

662
00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:10,510
- [Tina giggles]
- Okay.

663
00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:14,271
Help. Ow.

664
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:16,732
- Ah.
- Boy or girl?

665
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:21,358
- Oh god.
- Come on, tell me.

666
00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:25,949
- Boy.
- Ooo.

667
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,654
- Don't tell Don.
- A little boy.

668
00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:32,331
Yeah, so...

669
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:34,958
Is that what you wanted?

670
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:39,919
I mean I guess I always thought
I'd be happy with either, but...

671
00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:43,838
I always pictured myself
with a little girl.

672
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:50,555
Maybe I'm just not into
super heroes and video games

673
00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:53,344
- and dump trucks and reptiles.
- Oh, honey.

674
00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:54,849
I don't, I hate science museums.

675
00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:57,397
Oh, everybody hates
science museums.

676
00:37:57,609 --> 00:37:58,900
[sighs]

677
00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:01,895
It'll be OK. I'll be OK.

678
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,313
It'll be great!

679
00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,319
My friends say I'll forget
I ever felt this way.

680
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,031
Daughters steal your beauty
when you're pregnant,

681
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,737
have you ever heard that?

682
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:15,324
Yeah, Italians say that, I think

683
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,284
and traditionally
everyone wanted boys,

684
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:19,587
so if you're going to be
traditional, it's good, right?

685
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,800
Well...

686
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:27,512
Traditionally some countries
like to drown baby girls, so...

687
00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:30,510
- Fuck tradition.
- Ha, ha, yes!

688
00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:32,515
Please, fuck tradition.

689
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:36,638
Ah, I think a lot of people
would love not to have kids

690
00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:39,269
until they're brainwashed into thinking
they won't be happy without them.

691
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,191
I see all these girls
going up to college,

692
00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:43,644
and I can't help but think
why are we educating them,

693
00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:45,650
why don't we send them
straight from high school

694
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:47,652
- to Pilates if that's all they're gonna do?
- Tina!

695
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,069
Stop attacking me!

696
00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:52,323
Seriously!

697
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,285
I'm not attacking you.
You're attacking me.

698
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,037
How am I attacking you?

699
00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:01,212
Look at you, you're like this
giant beach ball of bliss.

700
00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:03,630
You're like this
living monument of sexism,

701
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,835
you're so beautiful
and glowing and...

702
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:17,306
I'm going to use the bathroom.

703
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,558
I'll, um, check on the guys.

704
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,945
I'm really glad
you got a chance to see this.

705
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:30,403
[Karen] It's amazing.

706
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:33,789
Thanks.

707
00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:36,872
I admire your...

708
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:39,712
You!

709
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:11,152
[answering machine] <i>Hey this is Wayne.
I'm not here right now, leave a message.</i>

710
00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,780
Hey, it's me
I'm just checking in.

711
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:15,706
Bye.

712
00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:19,536
No one thinks that it's weird
to wanna have a baby,

713
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:22,869
but basically you're inviting
a complete stranger

714
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:26,376
you know nothing about
into your life forever.

715
00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:29,379
But people think
adopting a foster child

716
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:31,460
or a helper monkey is insane.

717
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,466
[Karen sniffs]
Did you just say helper monkey?

718
00:40:37,310 --> 00:40:38,596
- [Karen sniffs]
- Come here.

719
00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:47,063
You look a mess, Karen.

720
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:57,702
[Karen sniffs]

721
00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:12,380
This just isn't
the greatest time for me.

722
00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:17,552
We're actually... [sniffs]

723
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:19,925
We're just not having
the greatest time.

724
00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:21,726
It's been really hard.

725
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:27,020
Wayne's so sweet,
he's so into the pregnancy.

726
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,980
Yeah well, just 'cause someone's
loving and giving

727
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:34,611
doesn't mean they're not
doing it for selfish reasons.

728
00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:40,325
Don's just at work all the time.

729
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:43,123
And he's just not
like that, you know.

730
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:49,254
And I'm just...
feeling insecure.

731
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,509
- You guys having sex?
- No.

732
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:57,883
Are you getting on otherwise?

733
00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:02,555
I mean, sure. [she sniffs]

734
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,511
Aside from the lack of sex

735
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:09,567
and him never being home and me
yelling at him whenever he is.

736
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:11,814
- Great then. Yeah.
- Yeah.

737
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,030
Hey, clearly he's working it in.

738
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,785
- Yeah.
- I mean, that was a factor.

739
00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,619
Not everyone has
a trust fund, Tina.

740
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:29,541
- Not a trust fund.
- Some of us have to live in reality.

741
00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:32,499
- It's not a trust fund.
- Well, whatever it is.

742
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:35,292
It, it's barely enough
to scrape by

743
00:42:35,511 --> 00:42:37,628
and I mean,
look at where we live.

744
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:38,849
Still.

745
00:42:40,016 --> 00:42:41,507
Still what? I work my ass off.

746
00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:46,937
Give me some of that wine.

747
00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:50,395
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

748
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,647
It's OK to drink a little bit
in the last few months.

749
00:42:52,862 --> 00:42:55,479
[Karen sniffs]
Just don't tell Don.

750
00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:57,564
Your secret's safe with me.

751
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:03,370
- Hmm.
- I'm so getting another bottle.

752
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:08,492
Don didn't wanna have the baby.

753
00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:13,205
I mean not... now anyway.

754
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,169
So, why are you having it?

755
00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:21,892
Pillow.

756
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,721
I didn't want to wait, I'm 42.

757
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,392
We were going to do it anyway.

758
00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:32,895
He thinks I tricked him.

759
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,947
- Did you?
- Sort of.

760
00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,829
He's gonna be so happy
when the baby's born.

761
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:49,203
Yeah.

762
00:43:49,377 --> 00:43:50,959
Everything looks better
at four in the morning

763
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,706
when you're staring
into a diaper.

764
00:43:55,383 --> 00:43:56,624
I think he's starting
to hate me.

765
00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,004
Does it seem like he hates me?

766
00:43:58,219 --> 00:43:59,335
I don't know.

767
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,920
I think he hates me.

768
00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:03,927
He really hates me!

769
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,225
[both laugh]

770
00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:09,928
You were going to have kids
anyway, right?

771
00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:13,185
So? Who cares what he thinks.

772
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,609
You're doing what you want.

773
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:18,278
- Yeah.
- You should be with Wayne.

774
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,651
[both laugh]

775
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,572
Did you see the way
he was looking at you?

776
00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:26,198
No.

777
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:27,950
I think he's developed
like this pregnancy fetish.

778
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,373
It's gross.

779
00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:33,793
- What's Kiki like?
- Grr.

780
00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:40,676
She's stupid in some ways, but she has some
sort of theory behind that men love her.

781
00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,212
Great.

782
00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:45,639
Where the fuck are those guys?

783
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:55,266
- Oh, I have an idea.
- No, don't stop.

784
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,152
No, I'm not playing that game.

785
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,988
- You love this game.
- No.

786
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:12,165
You're curious about Wayne,
I can tell.

787
00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:16,082
You're curious about Don.
That's what it is.

788
00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:17,959
Ew. No.

789
00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:19,506
Okay.

790
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:21,674
- Ready?
- I'm a little rusty.

791
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,343
Set?

792
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:24,556
Draw.

793
00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:29,599
What are you doing over there?

794
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:34,012
You're kind of like
the DaVinci of dicks.

795
00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:36,765
You just love drawing penises.

796
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,231
I think you do this
when I'm not even here.

797
00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:43,280
You miss drawing
like this, don't you?

798
00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:44,857
Admit it.

799
00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:48,114
Do you remember that first
uncircumcised one we did?

800
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,947
Or, I did. [laughs]

801
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,370
Who could forget.
It was er, eye opening!

802
00:45:58,881 --> 00:46:01,589
- [Tina laughs]
- To say the least!

803
00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:04,133
Okay, are you ready?

804
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:05,347
Hold on.

805
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:09,010
- Come on.
- Hold on!

806
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,135
- It's gotta be perfect.
- And.

807
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,970
Pencils down.

808
00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:16,191
Okay, okay.

809
00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:30,118
[Tina giggles and gasps]

810
00:46:30,329 --> 00:46:31,536
Karen!

811
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,238
This is so good.

812
00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:37,747
Look at the shading,
there is so much feeling.

813
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,582
You always were
a better artist than me.

814
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,379
No.

815
00:46:41,590 --> 00:46:43,422
- Better drawer.
- He's got a great little personality!

816
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:45,500
I like its crown.

817
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:47,336
That's not what I was...

818
00:46:47,555 --> 00:46:50,639
I don't know what I was going
for. [laughs]

819
00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:51,852
I made it small,
so you would feel better.

820
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,266
Oh, that was big of you.

821
00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,553
Wayne's cute, right?

822
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,307
He's perfect for you.

823
00:46:57,523 --> 00:46:58,525
I think he's cute.

824
00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:01,396
- He's so principled.
- Hmm.

825
00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:12,153
I don't know, I think maybe
Don is boning someone else.

826
00:47:14,915 --> 00:47:17,828
A lot of guys hit on me
when their wives were pregnant.

827
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:19,505
Oh, that's just great.

828
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,206
I am just saying, so you don't
take it personally.

829
00:47:21,422 --> 00:47:23,505
I think they feel
scared or trapped

830
00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:26,629
- or horny or whatever.
- You're defending him?

831
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,005
I am just saying.

832
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,427
Do you think
he seems like he is?

833
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:31,634
- How could I tell?
- I don't know.

834
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:33,090
I hate this.

835
00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:34,641
Have you asked him?

836
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:37,344
Not directly, just some
nasty hints and comments.

837
00:47:37,563 --> 00:47:38,565
OK, suppose he is?

838
00:47:40,107 --> 00:47:41,769
- Do you care?
- Of course I care.

839
00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:45,978
OK, so then confront him
or ask him or whatever.

840
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,735
Right, and end up a single mom
out in the suburbs.

841
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:51,157
Online dating
like Chrissy Shipman.

842
00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,863
Who's Crissy Shipman?

843
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:54,573
You remember Chrissy Shipman,
she lived on our floor.

844
00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:56,997
Ew, you still keep up
with that looser?

845
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,915
- Just on Facebook.
- Uh.

846
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:03,753
Just name the baby after some

847
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,830
beloved relative of his.

848
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:09,543
What's some relative
he's totally into?

849
00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:11,094
His grandfather, I guess.

850
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:14,847
- What's his grandfather's name?
- Elliot.

851
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:19,770
It, it's cute. Elliot, Elliot,
Elliot. [says it like E.T.]

852
00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:21,346
E.T. phone home.

853
00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:23,272
[Tina laughs]

854
00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,020
I would never have thought that.

855
00:48:26,362 --> 00:48:27,443
No, it's really sweet.

856
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,066
Name the baby Elliot,

857
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:31,398
you will lock him in for life
with that one.

858
00:48:32,493 --> 00:48:33,495
[elevator door opens]

859
00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:34,863
Oh my god, that's them.

860
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,321
- Oh, do you have any mouthwash?
- Yeah, come.

861
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,284
[jolly music]

862
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:59,184
Don't ask Don about
him fooling around, I know you.

863
00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:00,806
Don't tell Wayne
I'm still smoking.

864
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,353
Don't tell Don I was drinking.

865
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:04,485
[giggling]

866
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,158
[Kiki] I said wait, wait,
he has brain cancer?

867
00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:19,079
And they were like, no, Kiki,
he is a break dancer.

868
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:20,576
[laughing]

869
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:25,960
I can't believe, I mean...

870
00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:28,209
That's fantastic.
Here, let me help you.

871
00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,461
- Oh my god, yeah.
- I can see why you guys chose her.

872
00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:31,962
- Oh, shut up.
- Voilà.

873
00:49:32,178 --> 00:49:33,840
I'll get you
something to put on.

874
00:49:34,054 --> 00:49:36,011
Hi, I'm Kiki.

875
00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:37,930
I'm Wayne and Tina's
baby surrogate mom.

876
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,557
- And you are?
- I'm Karen.

877
00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:41,889
- You're pregnant too, right?
- Oh no, I'm not pregnant.

878
00:49:43,564 --> 00:49:45,055
I'm kidding.

879
00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:46,981
Oh god, good.

880
00:49:47,193 --> 00:49:49,981
It's always so horrible when you
ask someone if they're pregnant,

881
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:53,280
and then it just turns out
that they're just you know, fat.

882
00:49:53,491 --> 00:49:55,323
Oh well, I'm pregnant and fat.

883
00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:58,402
Oh god, no, no, no,
I didn't mean that you're...

884
00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:01,489
Er, sorry. No, I mean
obviously you're pregnant.

885
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:02,993
Doesn't she look wonderful?

886
00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:05,792
Yeah, you have such rosy cheeks.

887
00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:07,255
Here.

888
00:50:07,755 --> 00:50:09,371
Oh, thank you.

889
00:50:15,763 --> 00:50:18,506
- Ahem.
- So who's winning?

890
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:21,683
Er, Mets. Mets won.

891
00:50:23,854 --> 00:50:25,186
Were you drinking?

892
00:50:25,397 --> 00:50:26,763
- No.
- So uh...

893
00:50:26,982 --> 00:50:28,098
How do you two know each other?

894
00:50:28,317 --> 00:50:31,276
- We're married.
- Oh, I was just kidding.

895
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:32,606
You better not
have been drinking.

896
00:50:32,821 --> 00:50:34,062
It is really, really bad.

897
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,273
Oh, I'm aware, thank you.

898
00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:38,112
Don't get around your friend
and start fucking around.

899
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:42,625
God.

900
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,407
It is like really weird.

901
00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,458
I always thought it would be the
hardest thing to give up alcohol.

902
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,753
But I don't even wanna drink.

903
00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:52,877
It's like all I'm craving is,
is fresh air.

904
00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:55,835
Fresh fruits
and fresh vegetables.

905
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:59,296
- You seem better.
- I am, thank you.

906
00:50:59,515 --> 00:51:01,598
So how many months are you?

907
00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:02,809
16.

908
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:05,518
Wow! [laughs]

909
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:10,315
Were you like, so hot all the
time in your first few months?

910
00:51:10,526 --> 00:51:12,188
I don't think
I was hot, actually.

911
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:13,894
Really?

912
00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,696
Well, were your breasts like
really sensitive?

913
00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:22,278
Because my breasts are
like so sensitive all the time.

914
00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,534
- And I am so thirsty.
- I, I'll get you some water.

915
00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:28,617
Oh, no, no, hey, just, you sit.

916
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:33,831
Kiki has not had any morning
sickness at all, which is great.

917
00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:35,836
What did she tell Clark?

918
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,418
Oh, I don't know,
we didn't get into it.

919
00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:39,844
The game was on.

920
00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:41,967
Plus we stopped
at a tapas place.

921
00:51:42,182 --> 00:51:43,343
Thank you.

922
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:48,224
I'm sorry, you stopped
at a tapas place?

923
00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:51,273
She was hungry,
she wanted to unwind.

924
00:51:54,653 --> 00:51:56,815
I'm really sorry to be breaking
up your party like this.

925
00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,526
Why are you apologizing to me?

926
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:01,950
Mm, uhm, I don't know.

927
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:06,071
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.

928
00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:08,031
- Relax.
- Oh, thanks.

929
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:10,370
So, what happened?

930
00:52:10,586 --> 00:52:12,578
Mm... mm.

931
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:17,624
Clarks wife is pregnant.

932
00:52:17,843 --> 00:52:19,880
What again?
What is that like six?

933
00:52:20,095 --> 00:52:22,883
Yeah, I mean he is never
going to leave her.

934
00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:25,306
Ever. So I told him
that I was pregnant

935
00:52:25,517 --> 00:52:27,509
and now he wants to leave me.

936
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,311
You know, I'm like really hot.
I can't like deal with this, I'm sorry.

937
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:32,309
Wait, why did you tell him?

938
00:52:32,524 --> 00:52:34,436
Uh, I had to because

939
00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:36,564
when he heard that she was
pregnant, he needed to see me

940
00:52:36,779 --> 00:52:38,736
and then when he saw my belly
he could just tell.

941
00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:40,529
- What belly?
- He saw your belly?

942
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:42,573
He said it was the stupidest
thing that I've ever done.

943
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:43,992
[Don] Who's Clark?

944
00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:46,320
[Kiki] Clark and I have been
in a relationship

945
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:48,370
for five stupid years.

946
00:52:48,582 --> 00:52:50,665
- And he's married?
- Yes.

947
00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:54,369
[Don] And he doesn't know anything
about your arrangement with these two?

948
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,706
- No!
- [Don] I love it.

949
00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:02,215
- [Kiki] You know what? He said the worst possible things to me.
- [Wayne] Like what?

950
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,384
Like you've got better things
to do with your life.

951
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:08,182
And I was like what? Sit around
with my looks disintegrating

952
00:53:08,394 --> 00:53:11,603
waiting for you to divorce that
preppy little witch you hate?

953
00:53:11,814 --> 00:53:13,146
[sniffs] Jesus.

954
00:53:13,315 --> 00:53:16,683
[Kiki] Oh, oh my god
I'm so sorry.

955
00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:18,143
Oh, it's okay.

956
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,107
Oh my god, I'm gonna be OK.

957
00:53:21,115 --> 00:53:23,653
Oh god, I am so sorry.

958
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,154
It's fine. Don't worry about it,
she cries all the time.

959
00:53:26,370 --> 00:53:28,077
- Cause You stay out all the time.
- You got her drunk.

960
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:29,454
Arrest me.

961
00:53:29,665 --> 00:53:31,873
I am the one
who should be crying.

962
00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:33,700
She's got a man and a baby.

963
00:53:33,919 --> 00:53:38,084
And I have no man and I have
like a timeshare in a baby.

964
00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:41,341
I'm sure you and Clark
will work it out.

965
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,668
Why should she work it out?

966
00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:44,673
- He's a jerk.
- She loves him.

967
00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:47,096
- He's married.
- She likes married guys.

968
00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,639
I'm almost passed my prime.

969
00:53:48,851 --> 00:53:51,764
No you are a young,
beautiful woman.

970
00:53:51,979 --> 00:53:53,641
I am in phase four.

971
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,347
Oh, you're not
in phase four, Kiki.

972
00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:57,478
- Four what?
- Er Kiki, Kiki

973
00:53:57,693 --> 00:54:01,061
has these theories about
the phases of a woman's life.

974
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,567
- Go ahead, tell them.
- No listen, I don't wanna bore you.

975
00:54:03,782 --> 00:54:06,115
No, not at all.

976
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,362
Okay.

977
00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:12,868
There are five phases
of a woman's life.

978
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,245
And the first is girlhood.

979
00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:18,750
Like learning what's expected of you.
You know, what's sexy.

980
00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:21,377
And incidentally I realized
this is where most young women

981
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:23,629
plant the seeds
for their second marriages

982
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:26,052
by like sitting on their
fathers' friends' laps

983
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:27,299
- and stuff like that.
- Nice.

984
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,927
Yeah. And phase two

985
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,262
is when you grow boobs.

986
00:54:32,478 --> 00:54:34,936
And men of all ages,
they start to look at them.

987
00:54:35,105 --> 00:54:37,848
And you know it
and they know it.

988
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:41,525
But everyone around you pretends
like it's like not happening.

989
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:45,314
And this is when women are
actually in their fullest power.

990
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,615
- Yeah, I'm nervous as a cat around teenage girls.
- See.

991
00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:49,488
- Yeah they're very intimidating, Don.
- See?

992
00:54:49,703 --> 00:54:51,069
Are you OK?

993
00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:52,999
[Karen] I'm fine.

994
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:59,328
Um, Kiki was just telling us about her
theory of the phases of a woman's life.

995
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:01,003
Great.

996
00:55:01,215 --> 00:55:02,626
Phase three

997
00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:03,843
is when you're in your 20's

998
00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:06,009
and your like very early 30's,

999
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,222
and you have to be smart

1000
00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:09,174
and supportive.

1001
00:55:09,389 --> 00:55:12,632
And you have to like be a really
good partner for your man.

1002
00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:15,889
Oh, and you have to have a man
in phase three.

1003
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:19,097
And you have to stay sexy enough
so it keeps him challenged

1004
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:21,979
- and interested.
- Ow! You're squeezing my hand too hard.

1005
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:25,187
- Sorry.
- And you also have to like follow him around

1006
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,237
anywhere so he'll marry you.

1007
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,485
Wow.

1008
00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,487
And that brings us
to phase four.

1009
00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:31,909
Which is my phase.

1010
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,736
- You are not in phase four.
- Phase four.

1011
00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:37,824
You have to be a mother.

1012
00:55:38,043 --> 00:55:40,911
You see once women turn 30, they
like start to look like shit.

1013
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:43,041
And their faces
get all like coarse.

1014
00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,749
And their teeth get all stained
from all that partying they did

1015
00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,301
supporting their man
in phase three.

1016
00:55:48,470 --> 00:55:51,554
And their cleavage starts
to get like chicken skin

1017
00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:53,134
and disgusting.

1018
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:57,094
And nobody wants to look
directly at women in phase four.

1019
00:55:57,312 --> 00:56:01,352
I mean, particularly like in the
later stages of it. I mean, I don't.

1020
00:56:01,567 --> 00:56:05,902
I don't. I have to make like a
concerted effort to look at them.

1021
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:09,197
We all do, it's depressing.

1022
00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:14,740
We only need phase four women
as mother figures.

1023
00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:17,743
As like therapists and mentors

1024
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:20,245
and we need them for their
business connections

1025
00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:23,419
and their social connections, and we need them
to give us like their cool vintage clothing

1026
00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:25,212
that they can't
fit into anymore.

1027
00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:29,925
Clark already has someone
in phase four.

1028
00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:32,636
He doesn't need me.

1029
00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:38,388
I was his little vixen.

1030
00:56:40,105 --> 00:56:43,098
And now that I'm pregnant,
I'm not a vixen anymore.

1031
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,442
Oh my god, I feel so fat!

1032
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:54,116
[sobs] I'm like hot
and disgusting.

1033
00:56:54,328 --> 00:56:55,329
[sighs]

1034
00:56:57,623 --> 00:56:59,205
I'm still a vixen inside.

1035
00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:01,749
I'm not.

1036
00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:05,083
- I am not a vixen.
- Yeah, you are.

1037
00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,588
You are both vixens.

1038
00:57:07,799 --> 00:57:09,665
No I'm not, look at me.

1039
00:57:09,885 --> 00:57:13,299
Oh my god, I can't keep having
this conversation with you.

1040
00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:15,714
Every day she wants me to
tell her she looks beautiful,

1041
00:57:15,933 --> 00:57:18,266
and the truth is
she's looked better.

1042
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,809
And she will again.

1043
00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:24,022
- What if I don't?
- [chuckles] You better.

1044
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:27,980
Hey, you are luminous.

1045
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:31,438
- Give it a rest.
- All I want is to have a baby.

1046
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:34,903
And I wanna get married.

1047
00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,572
Why is that so hard?

1048
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:42,286
Oh, and I have to move out
of the apartment.

1049
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:43,708
Why? Does he pay
for the apartment?

1050
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:46,707
Oh, I think that's personal.
Don't you?

1051
00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:52,213
- Oh yeah, certainly, I'm sorry.
- No, like, don't even...

1052
00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:54,714
[Kiki's phone rings]
Oh shit. I'm sorry.

1053
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:56,971
[sighs]

1054
00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:03,231
Yeah.

1055
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:08,855
Oh, oh god, I'm so sorry.
Where should I be?

1056
00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:10,776
- Is that him?
- Um,

1057
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,775
well actually I'm with people
who care about me, right now.

1058
00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:15,903
Yeah, uh-huh, that's right.

1059
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:18,947
[Indistinct reply]

1060
00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:20,619
You know what? You can just
like, go fuck yourself!

1061
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,665
I'm gonna hang up right now!
[sighs]

1062
00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:25,161
If you don't wanna talk to him,

1063
00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:26,913
why don't you turn off
your phone?

1064
00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:28,916
Um, I don't know, I should.

1065
00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:31,214
- We should leave.
- No, god no, okay.

1066
00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:34,168
I'm sorry. You know what? I
don't wanna mess up your party.

1067
00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:35,968
- I'm gonna go.
- [both men] No, don't go!

1068
00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:38,672
- OK?
- OK.

1069
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:43,055
- What did he want?
- Um, I guess...

1070
00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,102
I guess he wants me
to change my mind.

1071
00:58:45,272 --> 00:58:47,980
- What does that mean?
- What do you think it means?

1072
00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:49,227
Oh, absolutely not!

1073
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:50,854
Hey! Don't yell at me.

1074
00:58:51,069 --> 00:58:52,901
I'm not yelling,
I'm just adamant.

1075
00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:55,230
- This is our kid we're talking about, Kiki.
- I know.

1076
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:56,735
Is that something
you're considering?

1077
00:58:56,908 --> 00:58:58,490
- No.
- Are you sure?

1078
00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:01,368
- Yeah.
- I mean, you want to do this, right?

1079
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,492
- This is something you want?
- Yes.

1080
00:59:03,665 --> 00:59:04,997
I wanna have a baby.

1081
00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:06,289
OK, then.

1082
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:08,630
Sort of.

1083
00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:11,457
I mean, oh my god.

1084
00:59:11,673 --> 00:59:13,335
How did I mess up
my life so bad?

1085
00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:17,297
I think I just have
too much integrity.

1086
00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:19,094
- Huh.
- All of my friends said

1087
00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:20,430
I should have
just gotten pregnant

1088
00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:21,593
when I was first seeing Clark.

1089
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,595
All of my friends said it.

1090
00:59:23,810 --> 00:59:25,346
Within three months I should have
just gotten like knocked up,

1091
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:28,145
while he was so vulnerable,
you know?

1092
00:59:28,356 --> 00:59:30,063
While he was dying for me.

1093
00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:33,484
- I've ruined my life.
- This guy sounds like a total asshole.

1094
00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:37,192
He's not. You don't even know,
his wife is horrible.

1095
00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:39,774
He doesn't even want kids,
but every time he's about to leave her

1096
00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:41,154
she gets pregnant!

1097
00:59:41,369 --> 00:59:44,362
- Magically.
- Oh, she does it on purpose!

1098
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,664
She doesn't even love him.
It's like she hates him.

1099
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,537
All she ever does
is yell at him.

1100
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:51,168
He's just too good
of a guy to leave her.

1101
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:54,372
He's like this noble person

1102
00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:57,083
who has been trapped
by this horrible woman

1103
00:59:57,302 --> 01:00:00,591
who keeps having his children and
then turning them against him.

1104
01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,469
- He married her.
- Because she was pregnant.

1105
01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:06,635
I mean, people never
have sympathy for men.

1106
01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:10,472
And he has another ex-wife who has
been sponging off of him for years.

1107
01:00:10,690 --> 01:00:13,023
- He does?
- And she'll never get re-married because she wants to keep

1108
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:14,476
getting alimony from him.

1109
01:00:14,694 --> 01:00:16,811
See divorce laws in this
country are outrageous,

1110
01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:18,775
that's what needs reform.

1111
01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:20,731
- I feel a little bit sick.
- Do you want some water?

1112
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,658
- No.
- okay then.

1113
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:25,862
Why can't I ever
just have what I want?

1114
01:00:26,081 --> 01:00:28,744
No one ever wants
to be with me for forever.

1115
01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:30,825
Just on the weekdays.

1116
01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:33,661
What's wrong with me?

1117
01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,971
[Kiki laughs]

1118
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:46,265
[the women all laugh]

1119
01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:53,522
Oh my god, I love this!

1120
01:00:55,902 --> 01:00:58,269
It's perfect, it looks
like he got a little crown.

1121
01:01:00,282 --> 01:01:02,990
- What's this supposed to be?
- Give me...

1122
01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:04,034
Is that you?

1123
01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,072
Woah, okay this one...

1124
01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:09,247
- Whoa!
- [laughing]

1125
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,574
- Oh my god, did you draw this?
- She made me do it.

1126
01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:14,410
- It's something that we used to do.
- C'mon let's, let's have a look.

1127
01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:17,588
- Come on, come on.
- Oh my god, that looks great.

1128
01:01:17,799 --> 01:01:19,711
- What's this? Huh?
- What?

1129
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,542
What yeah, I'm sorry.

1130
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:24,299
Maybe you should show Kiki
your penis, so everyone knows.

1131
01:01:24,514 --> 01:01:26,676
- [laughing]
- Yeah, maybe I should!

1132
01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:29,259
- OK kids, please.
- I just don't understand why you would draw

1133
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,639
this unflattering
rendition of my penis?

1134
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:34,142
- Why would you do that?
- She actually said it didn't do you justice.

1135
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,690
- Thank you.
- You are quite an artist.

1136
01:01:36,902 --> 01:01:38,359
Am I too female, Tina?

1137
01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,232
Yeah, you know what? Maybe you
should wear an undershirt

1138
01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:41,816
and like beat me or something.

1139
01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:43,568
Maybe I should

1140
01:01:43,742 --> 01:01:46,280
since you made me wear this
stupid shirt in the first place.

1141
01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:47,951
Oh, super macho!

1142
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:50,325
I'd like to amend
my drawing, if I may.

1143
01:01:50,498 --> 01:01:52,034
- Wayne, it's just a game.
- No!

1144
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,542
What is wrong with you?
Why are you acting like this?

1145
01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,037
How should I be acting?

1146
01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:58,837
Since it's up you, huh?

1147
01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,335
I act the way you want me to

1148
01:02:00,508 --> 01:02:02,465
and you draw me
with a one inch cock!

1149
01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:04,088
It's not one inch!

1150
01:02:04,304 --> 01:02:06,967
We didn't even really
determine the scale, Wayne.

1151
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:08,472
Well, you figured it out.

1152
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,265
You know, I think
what Wayne is trying to say...

1153
01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:11,971
I don't really care what you
think Wayne is trying to say.

1154
01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:14,512
Don't tell her what to care
about what someone thinks.

1155
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,142
- what?
- What?

1156
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,816
Kiki, have the baby,
Wayne, change the baby!

1157
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:21,440
But Tina goes off
on her merry way

1158
01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,066
doing whatever
she wants, because

1159
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,317
the only thing that's
important in the world right now

1160
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:25,898
is what's Tina wants.

1161
01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,608
- I'm getting a stomach ache.
- Don, should we go?

1162
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,193
No, no, no, shh.

1163
01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:31,278
I didn't do this whole thing
so you could turn around

1164
01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:32,579
and persecute Kiki.

1165
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,077
How am I persecuting Kiki?

1166
01:02:34,292 --> 01:02:35,828
You're treating her like
a second class citizen.

1167
01:02:36,044 --> 01:02:38,457
Oh, suddenly she has
her crotch in your face

1168
01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:40,208
and I'm persecuting her?

1169
01:02:40,423 --> 01:02:42,085
She's not an idiot, she
knows exactly what she's doing.

1170
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:43,757
Put the fucking sweat pants on.

1171
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,293
Uh-hu, do not
talk to her like that!

1172
01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:46,711
Hmm. That's the mother
of your child.

1173
01:02:46,930 --> 01:02:48,262
You can mind your own business.

1174
01:02:48,473 --> 01:02:49,964
Too much male energy
in the room for you, Tina?

1175
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,674
- Oh, is that how you describe the energy?
- Yeah.

1176
01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:53,805
OK, I gotta pee.

1177
01:03:00,068 --> 01:03:02,606
- It's time to go.
- OK.

1178
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,742
You got something
on your dress there.

1179
01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:23,918
You know what they used to
call women like you?

1180
01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:25,466
What, Don?

1181
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:27,890
Witches.

1182
01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:31,969
Yeah. Women like me have always
scared men like you.

1183
01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:33,185
You don't scare me.

1184
01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:36,393
Yeah, I do.

1185
01:03:37,564 --> 01:03:40,022
It seems somethings growing
between these two.

1186
01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,395
No, sorry.

1187
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:47,480
Something between us
has grown inside her.

1188
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,816
Huh, that's very good.
You like playing games.

1189
01:03:50,035 --> 01:03:51,401
You get off on power games?

1190
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,863
I think this is a very interesting
game you're playing right here.

1191
01:03:57,292 --> 01:04:00,456
Kiki, you've been kicked out
of your apartment, right?

1192
01:04:00,628 --> 01:04:03,086
- Yeah.
- Hmm, maybe I can help you.

1193
01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:06,541
- Don.
- I just bought a building in the East Village

1194
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:09,468
and there's a rent
stabilized apartment.

1195
01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:11,386
We just evicted the tenant.

1196
01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:13,089
Was it an elderly person?

1197
01:04:13,308 --> 01:04:15,516
What about I put you
on the lease?

1198
01:04:15,727 --> 01:04:18,219
- What would that mean?
- That would mean you have a rent stabilized apartment

1199
01:04:18,438 --> 01:04:19,679
in the East Village
for the rest of your life

1200
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:22,265
for about $415 a month.

1201
01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:25,351
Oh my god!

1202
01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:27,232
- Wait.
- Would that change anything?

1203
01:04:27,447 --> 01:04:30,406
- Ha, ha, oh my god.
- [Karen] Don.

1204
01:04:30,575 --> 01:04:32,817
We're not giving Kiki
an apartment.

1205
01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,652
No, I'm not talking about
giving it to Kiki.

1206
01:04:36,915 --> 01:04:38,201
I'm talking about
giving it to Wayne.

1207
01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:43,290
Wayne doesn't need an apartment.

1208
01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:47,545
If that would change
anything in this... Situation.

1209
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,250
No, thanks.

1210
01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:52,507
I'm offering it to Wayne.

1211
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:57,015
- Why would you do that?
- Well, I need a project too.

1212
01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:00,640
He doesn't want...

1213
01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:05,562
- Does it have a washer and a dryer?
- There's a hook up.

1214
01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:12,398
I think we should talk about it.

1215
01:05:12,617 --> 01:05:14,984
[Wayne] I mean
it's a generous offer.

1216
01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:16,614
Are you high?

1217
01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:18,537
I mean if you two don't
have a legal agreement

1218
01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:20,614
- and Kiki is the mother...
- It's my egg.

1219
01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:23,121
- You don't really have a legal agreement.
- Wayne and I are married.

1220
01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:24,793
By a drunk guy in Thailand.

1221
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:26,666
- It's Fiji
- By a drunk guy in Fiji.

1222
01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:30,295
I mean just in case legal is a
moral code you're interested in.

1223
01:05:32,804 --> 01:05:34,261
Kiki has my baby inside her.

1224
01:05:34,472 --> 01:05:35,804
Our, our baby.

1225
01:05:36,015 --> 01:05:38,348
And I'm feeling all these primal

1226
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:40,973
feelings arise
unexpectantly very powerful.

1227
01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:42,394
I didn't know
I was going to feel so...

1228
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:43,846
- Primal?
- Yeah!

1229
01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:46,015
Yeah, primal.

1230
01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:48,442
- Great, so you finally muster this primal male feeling and...
- And what?

1231
01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:51,111
I, I don't know what, Wayne?

1232
01:05:51,322 --> 01:05:53,314
- What?
- I don't know, I don't know.

1233
01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:55,490
Well, spit it out, because you've got a
sweet offer on the table, right, Don?

1234
01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:57,526
- Right.
- You know, Tina.

1235
01:05:57,745 --> 01:06:01,079
It is a basic feminine instinct

1236
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:03,078
that's lacking in you.

1237
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:06,457
Really, what basic feminine
instinct am I lacking this week?

1238
01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:07,832
- Nurturing.
- [Tina scoffs]

1239
01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:09,754
- I hate that word!
- I love it.

1240
01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:13,083
She's nurturing?

1241
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:14,965
She's a fucking train wreck.

1242
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:16,304
Excuse me?

1243
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,548
- She's having my baby.
- Our!

1244
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,428
Our baby!

1245
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:21,884
- Whatever.
- I'm not nurturing?

1246
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:24,265
All I do is nurture you.

1247
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,689
I support
your meandering career.

1248
01:06:26,900 --> 01:06:30,610
I pay for this place, I'm so fucking
sick of nurturing, I could puke!

1249
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:34,442
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I floated your fucking magazine.

1250
01:06:34,657 --> 01:06:36,774
You don't float it anymore.
You ditched it!

1251
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:40,282
Because we started
a new project, Wayne!

1252
01:06:41,372 --> 01:06:44,160
You know, there's
a photograph in a book.

1253
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:49,916
A family of women.
A woman riding a bike pregnant.

1254
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,168
The wind blowing in her hair.

1255
01:06:52,383 --> 01:06:54,045
Wearing denim overalls.

1256
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:56,968
The expression on her face.

1257
01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:58,341
Simple joy.

1258
01:06:59,307 --> 01:07:00,473
That's what I want.

1259
01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:03,138
- A pair of overalls?
- No.

1260
01:07:06,147 --> 01:07:08,230
Simple joy.

1261
01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:11,934
It's not simple, Wayne.

1262
01:07:12,153 --> 01:07:13,564
It is for some people.

1263
01:07:18,451 --> 01:07:19,532
[Tina] OK.

1264
01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:22,319
I'm gonna make it really simple.

1265
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,498
Are you banging her?

1266
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:29,420
No.

1267
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:31,878
- OK, then.
- But I...

1268
01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:33,956
But what?
What are you trying to say?

1269
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:37,592
I, I don't know.
Stop pushing me.

1270
01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,921
I just don't want to miss out
on something vital.

1271
01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:43,473
Something vital?
You and I, this isn't vital?

1272
01:07:43,685 --> 01:07:46,052
No, you are no longer
vital to the equation.

1273
01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:48,854
- You're... you didn't want to be.
- We're not vital?

1274
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:52,024
That was the whole
fuckin plan or...

1275
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:54,067
Or was I just the bread...
Oh my god.

1276
01:07:54,279 --> 01:07:57,067
[sighs] Did you guys plan this,
was this some kind of plan?

1277
01:07:57,282 --> 01:07:59,274
- You know we didn't.
- I don't know anything anymore.

1278
01:07:59,492 --> 01:08:02,200
- How are guys gonna make money?
- Maybe you can provide child support.

1279
01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:03,573
You're having an abortion.

1280
01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:05,825
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

1281
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:08,032
- She's not having an abortion.
- We'll see about that.

1282
01:08:08,251 --> 01:08:10,618
- Not unless Clark and I get back together.
- You're not!

1283
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:14,584
You're incredible. This is what you choose
after all you're high moral ground?

1284
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:18,634
You choose a rescue mission,
the power of a powerless woman

1285
01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:20,882
no man can resist.
Were you ever a stripper?

1286
01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:22,258
So what if she was?

1287
01:08:22,473 --> 01:08:23,805
- [Tina sighs]
- You didn't love me!

1288
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:25,133
You married me for tax purposes.

1289
01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:26,467
Don't be an idiot.

1290
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:28,097
You didn't want my baby.

1291
01:08:28,313 --> 01:08:29,520
You killed my child!

1292
01:08:29,731 --> 01:08:32,474
- This again, no.
- Yes, this again. I'm sorry!

1293
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:34,809
You can't agree to it
and then hold it against me

1294
01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:36,269
for the rest of our lives.

1295
01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,945
I can't help how I feel!

1296
01:08:39,157 --> 01:08:42,321
- After you did what you did.
- We did it.

1297
01:08:42,493 --> 01:08:45,281
You did it! It was your choice,
I went along with it.

1298
01:08:45,496 --> 01:08:47,658
It was your choice.

1299
01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:50,207
I wanna feel the kind of love
people talk about.

1300
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:52,284
- Me too.
- I don't wanna think about myself all the time.

1301
01:08:52,503 --> 01:08:54,836
- Me too.
- I want to be with a woman

1302
01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:57,665
who doesn't think having my baby
is ruining her life.

1303
01:08:57,884 --> 01:08:59,216
Or one that just won't say it?

1304
01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:02,044
You want a liar, you want
a manipulative coward?

1305
01:09:02,263 --> 01:09:03,845
That's, that's what
you think about mothers.

1306
01:09:04,057 --> 01:09:05,468
You'd be surprised.

1307
01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,140
All night
you've been attacking her.

1308
01:09:07,352 --> 01:09:10,060
- Her?
- And Kiki and anyone who makes choices,

1309
01:09:10,271 --> 01:09:11,603
choices you don't happen
to agree with.

1310
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:14,898
Because they are miserable
and they won't admit it!

1311
01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:16,691
She's joyous!

1312
01:09:16,903 --> 01:09:19,145
- She's serene!
- You wanna look at Karen.

1313
01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:21,530
First time since
Kiki walked in, but...

1314
01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:23,152
You know what, okay.

1315
01:09:23,368 --> 01:09:25,826
- Tina!
- This is your idea of a happy couple?

1316
01:09:26,037 --> 01:09:28,529
A perfect situation?

1317
01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:34,831
I am happy.

1318
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:41,842
Ugh! Huh-huh-huh!

1319
01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:47,931
OK.

1320
01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:51,556
I'm sick of everyone
pretending to be happy.

1321
01:09:51,771 --> 01:09:55,890
Everyone on drugs, pretending
everything's fine and buying big houses

1322
01:09:56,109 --> 01:09:58,601
to get away from each other,
having kids 'cause they've run out of friends

1323
01:09:58,820 --> 01:10:01,733
having these fucking little
accessories who are excuses

1324
01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:03,985
for every fucked up
choice they make.

1325
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:08,410
And they are just gonna grow up
to be more people I fucking hate!

1326
01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:11,534
Those are your words, Wayne.

1327
01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:14,116
I don't feel like that anymore.

1328
01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:17,457
I'm allowed to change, Tina.

1329
01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:21,002
OK, OK.

1330
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,467
You're happy?

1331
01:10:26,848 --> 01:10:27,884
Yes.

1332
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:35,808
- Really?
- Yes.

1333
01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:42,732
We're happy.
You're the one who's unhappy.

1334
01:10:42,947 --> 01:10:44,813
So everyone's happy except me?

1335
01:10:45,032 --> 01:10:46,739
- Looks like it.
- I'm happy!

1336
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,576
I mean as long as
I can get the apartment.

1337
01:10:52,039 --> 01:10:53,746
This sucks!

1338
01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:58,873
After everything I did for you.

1339
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:02,047
I... I did this for you.

1340
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:06,673
And I let her into our lives so
you could have what you wanted.

1341
01:11:06,888 --> 01:11:09,551
'Cause that's how much
I love you, bonehead.

1342
01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:12,884
I don't even understand
what you want.

1343
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,765
It's all theories
and semantics with you.

1344
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:17,437
You want equality.

1345
01:11:17,648 --> 01:11:19,856
You wanna change the world,
you want social justice,

1346
01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:23,435
you want all this crap
I don't even remember anymore.

1347
01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:27,147
When did social justice
become crap to you?

1348
01:11:28,117 --> 01:11:31,952
You sound like you joined the
pod-people. Wayne, come on.

1349
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:40,419
- Maybe this is what you want.
- No.

1350
01:11:42,340 --> 01:11:44,297
- You can visit.
- [Tina laughs]

1351
01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:46,501
You can still do your project.

1352
01:11:46,719 --> 01:11:51,555
It might be good for
your project. And, hey, hey.

1353
01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:55,305
You're gonna do so many
amazing things in life.

1354
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,056
And I'm not gonna
stand in your way.

1355
01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,029
[Tina sobs]

1356
01:12:28,177 --> 01:12:33,718
Well, this has been interesting.

1357
01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:38,184
- Are we leaving?
- Yeah.

1358
01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,033
We'll be in touch.

1359
01:13:06,215 --> 01:13:07,797
[Karen] Can I hug you?

1360
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:13,003
[piano music]

1361
01:13:38,664 --> 01:13:42,203
Send a picture of Elliot
when he's born.

1362
01:13:43,878 --> 01:13:45,414
Elliot?

1363
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:57,013
It was super awesome
meeting you guys.

1364
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,991
I'm gonna take Kiki home.

1365
01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:19,570
[melancholic music]

1366
01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,539
I forgot... I forgot the bike.

1367
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,458
[melancholic music]

1368
01:15:16,804 --> 01:15:18,420
I'm sorry.

1369
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:21,297
[laughter and chattering]

1370
01:17:21,512 --> 01:17:22,969
[Tina] Hi, what are you
doing here?

1371
01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:25,718
[Karen] Oh my god, I haven't
seen you in so long...

1372
01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:27,799
[piano music]

1373
01:17:31,313 --> 01:17:33,270
[chattering]

1374
01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:57,128
[song]