1 00:00:04,827 --> 00:00:06,657 THE POLICE CHIEF, HE STOPPED ME. 2 00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:09,585 AND TOLD ME THAT THEY HAD FOUND A BODY. 3 00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:15,412 AND I JUST LOOKED AT HIM, AND I SAID, "IS IT TARA?" 4 00:00:15,413 --> 00:00:17,903 AND HE SAID, "WE BELIEVE SO." 5 00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:23,096 THERE WAS A SQUAD CAR, 6 00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:26,723 AND HE WAS ACTUALLY SITTING IN THE BACK SEAT OF THAT SQUAD CAR. 7 00:00:26,724 --> 00:00:28,624 HE JUST HAD THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE, 8 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,480 AND I THOUGHT, "WHO IN THE HECK IS THAT GUY?" 9 00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:38,143 HE WAS THIS MONSTER THAT WAS PREYING ON OUR CHILDREN. 10 00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:41,027 IT WAS ALMOST LIKE HE HAD KIND OF BECAME 11 00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:43,414 THE FREDDY KRUEGER OF KANKAKEE COUNTY. 12 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,103 I HAD BEEN IN LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR A WHILE AT THAT POINT, 13 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,343 SO I HAD SEEN SOME PRETTY HORRIFIC THINGS. 14 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:55,454 I ALWAYS KNEW THAT, YOU KNOW, THERE WAS EVIL AND BAD PEOPLE, 15 00:00:55,448 --> 00:00:59,588 BUT YOU JUST WANT TO HAVE FAITH THAT PEOPLE ARE... 16 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:03,066 THAT YOU LIVE BY ARE BETTER THAN THAT. 17 00:01:03,068 --> 00:01:05,448 TWO WILL COUNTY OFFICERS FOUND MEYER'S BODY. 18 00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:09,788 AT THE END OF THIS PATH NEAR THE KANKAKEE COUNTY BORDER. 19 00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:11,243 AND I'M SITTING THERE, LOOKING RIGHT AT HER, 20 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,101 AND KNOWING WHAT HER LITTLE BOY WENT THROUGH, 21 00:01:14,103 --> 00:01:16,313 IT WAS A HORRIBLE THING. 22 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,760 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 23 00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:21,238 JUST CRIED. 24 00:01:21,241 --> 00:01:22,621 WE JUST SAT AND CRIED. 25 00:01:32,172 --> 00:01:37,552 MY BIGGEST PAIN IS THAT I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE, 26 00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,551 AND I DIDN'T GET TO KNOW FOR SURE 27 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,591 IF HE KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM. 28 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:47,655 THAT'S THE HARD PART. 29 00:01:47,655 --> 00:01:50,995 AND I THINK THAT'S THE PART OF... 30 00:01:52,827 --> 00:01:54,967 ...MY LIFE I REGRET THE MOST 31 00:01:54,965 --> 00:01:58,095 IS I DON'T KNOW IF I SAID, "I LOVE YOU" THAT DAY. 32 00:01:58,103 --> 00:01:59,833 I DON'T REMEMBER. 33 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:11,620 Captions by VITAC... www.vitac.com 34 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,590 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 35 00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:37,027 OKAY. 36 00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:38,834 THAT'S TARA. 37 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:46,170 TARA WAS THE YOUNGEST OF ALL THE CHILDREN. 38 00:02:46,172 --> 00:02:50,212 SHE WAS KIND OF THE CELEBRITY OF THE FAMILY. 39 00:02:50,206 --> 00:02:53,686 I WAS THE OLDEST CHILD LIVING AT HOME. 40 00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:56,659 YOU KNOW, I WAS 13 YEARS OLD OR SO. 41 00:02:56,655 --> 00:03:00,895 I WAS THE BROTHER THAT MAYBE SHE HAD THE CLOSER BOND TO. 42 00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:08,594 SHE REALLY LOVED HER ANIMALS. THAT'S FOR SURE. 43 00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:11,166 SHE HAD TWO DOGS, AND THEN, OF COURSE, 44 00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:13,002 WHEN THEY WENT OUT TO THE RIVER, 45 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,720 SHE WAS FINDING THE TURTLES OR THE FROGS 46 00:03:15,724 --> 00:03:19,694 OR WHATEVER SHE COULD GET HER HANDS ON. 47 00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:21,449 SHE JUST LOVED LIFE. 48 00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:38,624 I DON'T ALWAYS REMEMBER THE DATE, 49 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,380 BUT I NEVER FORGET THE DAY. 50 00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:45,904 ON MY WAY HOME, I HAD FOUND A LITTLE TURTLE, 51 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:48,586 AND I BROUGHT IT HOME TO GIVE IT TO TARA SUE. 52 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,552 SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN 5 YEARS OLD THEN. 53 00:03:57,068 --> 00:03:59,658 MOM WAS HOME, AND I ASKED WHERE TARA SUE WAS, 54 00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:02,065 AND SHE SAID SHE HAD GONE DOWN TO THE NEIGHBORS' HOUSE 55 00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,588 TO PLAY WITH HER FRIEND. 56 00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:08,855 THEN I WENT DOWN TO THE NEIGHBORS', 57 00:04:08,862 --> 00:04:12,282 AND THEY HADN'T SEEN HER. 58 00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:14,655 I WENT BACK HOME, AND I SAID, "WELL, SHE AIN'T DOWN THERE, 59 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,305 AND THEY HAVEN'T SEEN HER." 60 00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:25,340 MY FATHER STARTED CALLING PEOPLE. 61 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,240 YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN A NEIGHBORHOOD 62 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:32,661 YOU DIDN'T LOCK YOUR DOORS AT NIGHT. 63 00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:34,925 YOU COULD LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE CAR, YOU KNOW? 64 00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:37,241 IT WAS JUST THAT TYPE OF NEIGHBORHOOD. 65 00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,971 NOTHING HAPPENED THERE. 66 00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:40,375 HELLO, FRED. 67 00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:43,139 HAVE YOU SEEN TARA SUE COME BY TODAY? 68 00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:44,617 EVERYBODY KNEW EVERYBODY, 69 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:47,900 AND YOU KNEW EVERYBODY'S KIDS, TOO. 70 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:53,136 I DON'T THINK THAT THERE WAS EVER ANY PANIC. 71 00:04:53,137 --> 00:04:56,207 WE ALL THOUGHT THAT, YOU KNOW, 72 00:04:56,206 --> 00:04:58,826 SHE'D DONE SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY, 73 00:04:58,827 --> 00:05:01,097 SO WE JUST GOT TO FIND HER. 74 00:05:01,103 --> 00:05:04,313 WHY DON'T YOU GO TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AROUND? 75 00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:05,660 OKAY. 76 00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:08,135 YOU KNOW, IN 1981, 77 00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:10,167 NOBODY EVER EVEN HEARD OF ANYTHING 78 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:13,592 HAPPENING TO A KID BACK THEN, 79 00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:15,896 SO IT JUST... 80 00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:18,376 IT'S LIKE IT WASN'T PART OF YOUR VOCABULARY. 81 00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,899 YOU COULDN'T PRONOUNCE THAT, YOU KNOW? 82 00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,406 IT JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN. 83 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,830 CHRIS SAID, ABOUT 1:00, HE GOES, "MOM, CAN I GO DOWN..." 84 00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,967 PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS AT THE RIVER? 85 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:44,785 CAN I GO DOWN THERE?" AND I SAID, "SURE." 86 00:05:50,206 --> 00:05:55,026 5:00 CAME, AND HE WASN'T HOME, 87 00:05:55,034 --> 00:05:57,034 AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, WHERE IS CHRIS?" 88 00:05:57,034 --> 00:05:59,174 THIS WAS THE STRICT RULE IN OUR HOUSE... 89 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:00,832 TO BE HOME ON TIME. 90 00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:08,863 THEN, I WAS DOING STUFF IN THE KITCHEN, 91 00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:12,792 AND I LOOKED AT THE STOVE, AND IT SAID 5:22, 92 00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:15,973 AND I HAD THIS HORRIBLE, GUT-WRENCHING FEELING 93 00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:18,475 LIKE SOMEBODY HAD PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT. 94 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:24,339 I JUST FELT THIS NEED TO GO FIND HIM IMMEDIATELY. 95 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:37,855 I TOOK OFF, AND I WENT DOWN TO THE RIVER, 96 00:06:37,862 --> 00:06:40,212 AND I TALKED TO A COUPLE PEOPLE, COUPLE OF KIDS, 97 00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:42,136 AND THEY WERE... AND ONE OF THEM WAS LIKE, 98 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:43,927 "HE LEFT, LIKE, AN HOUR AGO." 99 00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,791 I THOUGHT, "OKAY, WE CROSSED PATHS." 100 00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,996 SO, I WENT BACK TO THE HOUSE. 101 00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:54,278 CHRISTOPHER? 102 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:55,615 CHRIS WASN'T THERE. 103 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,340 CHRISTOPHER? 104 00:06:57,344 --> 00:07:01,834 AS A MOM, YOU KNOW, YOU WORRY ABOUT ALL THIS LITTLE STUFF, 105 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:03,277 AND THEN EVERYTHING IS FINE, YOU KNOW? 106 00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:04,615 YOU'RE ALWAYS, "WORRY, WORRY, WORRY, WORRY, 107 00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:06,450 EVERYTHING'S FINE." 108 00:07:06,448 --> 00:07:08,858 CHRISTOPHER? 109 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:12,102 SO, I DIDN'T WANT TO OVERREACT, 110 00:07:12,103 --> 00:07:17,243 BUT AS EACH MOMENT THAT FELT LIKE AN ETERNITY WENT ON... 111 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:22,066 ...I KNEW THAT SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT. 112 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,102 THE SUN IS STARTING TO GO DOWN, IT'S, LIKE, 8:00, 113 00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:30,553 AND THAT'S WHEN I SAID, "I HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE. 114 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,241 IT'S TIME TO CALL THE POLICE." 115 00:07:36,137 --> 00:07:38,547 AND THEY CAME OUT TO TAKE THE REPORT... 116 00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:41,621 YOU KNOW, WHAT WAS HE WEARING AND HIS HEIGHT AND HIS WEIGHT. 117 00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:46,000 HE WAS JUST WEARING A T-SHIRT AND PAIR OF SHORTS. 118 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,520 IT JUST WAS VERY SURREAL. 119 00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:54,207 I COULDN'T COMPREHEND WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON. 120 00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:55,616 ONE MOMENT, IT WAS SLOW-MOTION, 121 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:59,760 AND THE NEXT MOMENT, IT WAS A FLASH. 122 00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:01,588 PEOPLE WERE COMING TO THE HOUSE, AND I JUST FELT LIKE, 123 00:08:01,586 --> 00:08:02,826 "WELL, LET'S JUST GET THROUGH ALL THIS 124 00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:06,447 SO WE CAN GET BACK TO OUR 'NORMAL' LIFE." 125 00:08:06,448 --> 00:08:08,548 IT WAS CHAOS IN THE HOUSE, 126 00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,451 AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, JO APPEARS. 127 00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:19,139 SHE WAS SO CALM. 128 00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:21,307 WE'RE GONNA DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO FIND HIM. 129 00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:29,518 I REMEMBER JUST THINKING I COULD TRUST THIS WOMAN. 130 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:38,624 IN 1995, I WAS A SERGEANT IN INVESTIGATIONS. 131 00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:48,550 THE SHERIFF HAD CALLED ME IN AND TOLD ME WHAT HAD HAPPENED. 132 00:08:48,551 --> 00:08:50,451 HE SAID THAT, "WE HAVE EVERYBODY OUT THERE SEARCHING", 133 00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:52,278 AND I WANT YOU TO TALK TO THE MOTHER 134 00:08:52,275 --> 00:08:54,655 AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU CAN AND MAKE SURE SHE UNDERSTANDS 135 00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,205 THAT YOU'LL BE THE LIAISON, 136 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:58,716 "AND YOU CAN TALK TO HER, AND SHE CAN CALL YOU ANY TIME." 137 00:08:58,724 --> 00:09:00,214 WHAT IS CHRISTOPHER LIKE? 138 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,996 WHAT DOES HE DO FOR FUN? 139 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,760 I WANTED TO KNOW CHRISTOPHER'S HABITS 140 00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:08,968 AND WHAT HE LIKED TO DO. 141 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,065 HE LIKES TO FISH. HE RIDES HIS BIKE, 142 00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:14,238 AND HE'S JUST A TYPICAL LITTLE 10-YEAR-OLD. 143 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,141 SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH CHRISTOPHER. 144 00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:19,207 HE WAS A GOOD BOY. 145 00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:24,716 SHE WAS JUST EXHAUSTED AND WORRIED. 146 00:09:24,724 --> 00:09:27,904 BEING A MOTHER MYSELF AND KNOWING THAT 147 00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:30,306 A CHILD IS MISSING AND TALKING MIKA, 148 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:34,450 YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION, AND YOU CARE. 149 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,408 SHE KNEW THAT I WAS CONCERNED. 150 00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:40,693 EVERYBODY WAS CONCERNED. I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T BE? 151 00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,448 CHRISTOPHER MEYER WAS LAST SEEN FISHING. 152 00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:57,378 ALONG THE KANKAKEE RIVER. 153 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,589 NOW A HALF DOZEN BOATS AND OVER A HUNDRED WORKERS 154 00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:01,896 ARE SEARCHING THE AREA. 155 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:04,336 EVERYBODY WAS INVOLVED IN THIS SEARCH 156 00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,454 'CAUSE IT DOESN'T USUALLY HAPPEN, 157 00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:09,688 A 10-YEAR-OLD MISSING OVERNIGHT LIKE THAT. 158 00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,789 IT WAS URGENT. WE HAD TO FIND HIM. 159 00:10:12,793 --> 00:10:14,213 WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR. 160 00:10:14,206 --> 00:10:15,966 WE DIDN'T KNOW IF WE WERE LOOKING FOR A BODY, 161 00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:18,855 IF HE WAS FLOATING IN THE WATER OR IF HE WAS JUST LOST. 162 00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:35,166 THE SEARCH CONTINUES FOR MISSING BOY CHRISTOPHER MEYER. 163 00:10:35,172 --> 00:10:37,282 POLICE SAY HE WAS LAST SEEN FISHING ALONG THE RIVER 164 00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:38,965 WHEN HE DISAPPEARED. 165 00:10:54,551 --> 00:10:58,101 THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS LOOKING FOR TARA. 166 00:10:58,103 --> 00:11:00,413 PEOPLE ARE GOING DOOR-TO-DOOR. 167 00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:02,213 THEY'RE ALL SHARING THIS INFORMATION 168 00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:05,136 THAT THIS LITTLE GIRL IS MISSING, 169 00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:10,447 BUT THERE WAS NO CLUES AS TO WHERE SHE COULD HAVE GONE. 170 00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:26,098 I WAS STANDING HERE TALKING TO A GROUP OF THE NEIGHBORS 171 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:31,453 THAT WERE LOOKING FOR TARA ALSO, AND WE WERE CONVERSING ABOUT, 172 00:11:31,448 --> 00:11:34,098 YOU KNOW, WHERE WE WERE GOING NEXT, 173 00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:35,903 AND I NOTICED THIS YOUNG BOY 174 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,996 SITTING ON THE PORCH OF THIS HOME. 175 00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:43,479 AND HE'S LOOKING AT ME, AND HE HAD THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE 176 00:11:43,482 --> 00:11:47,722 THAT IT JUST STRUCK ME REALLY ODD, YOU KNOW? 177 00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:50,314 I HAD NO IDEA WHO HE WAS, 178 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,690 BUT I NEVER FORGOT HIM FROM THAT MOMENT ON. 179 00:11:55,586 --> 00:11:58,026 HE WAS JUST A KID, 180 00:11:58,034 --> 00:12:02,074 AND HE WAS JUST SITTING ON THE PORCH, 181 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:06,278 BUT WHEN WE MADE EYE CONTACT, THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE. 182 00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:10,305 IT'S JUST HARD TO EXPLAIN. 183 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:23,550 A HALF AN HOUR, 40 MINUTES LATER, 184 00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:27,861 I SAW AN AMBULANCE PULL UP. 185 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:32,282 MY MOTHER AND MY TWO SISTERS WERE STANDING THERE, 186 00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:36,925 AND I SAID, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" 187 00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:39,001 THAT'S WHEN THE POLICE CHIEF STOPPED ME 188 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,550 AND TOLD ME THAT THEY HAD FOUND A BODY. 189 00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:48,277 AND I JUST LOOKED AT HIM, 190 00:12:48,275 --> 00:12:50,715 AND I SAID, "IS IT TARA?" 191 00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:53,484 AND HE SAID, "WE BELIEVE SO." 192 00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,895 MY MOM AND MY SISTERS, THEY HEARD THIS. 193 00:13:04,896 --> 00:13:08,926 THEY ALL SCREAMED, AND MY MOTHER FAINTED, 194 00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,721 AND THEY CAUGHT HER. 195 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:18,166 ALL I COULD THINK IS, "I'D BETTER GET HOME TO TELL MY DAD." 196 00:13:21,103 --> 00:13:25,863 AND WHEN I LEFT, THERE WAS A SQUAD CAR, 197 00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:30,452 AND THAT BOY THAT WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH LOOKING AT ME 198 00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:34,028 WAS ACTUALLY SITTING IN THE BACK SEAT OF THAT SQUAD CAR, 199 00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:38,074 AND AGAIN, WE MADE EYE CONTACT. 200 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,028 HE JUST HAD THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE, 201 00:13:40,034 --> 00:13:43,484 AND I THOUGHT, "WHO IN THE HECK IS THAT KID?" 202 00:13:57,344 --> 00:14:00,344 I REMEMBER I WALKED IN THE HOUSE, 203 00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:09,004 AND MY FATHER WAS ON THE PHONE, AND I TOLD HIM, YOU KNOW, 204 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,070 "HANG UP THE PHONE AND SIT DOWN." 205 00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:18,759 AND THAT'S WHEN I TOLD HIM. 206 00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:24,688 THAT'S WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT THEY FOUND A BODY, 207 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,379 AND THEY BELIEVE IT'S TARA. 208 00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:39,546 HE IMMEDIATELY... STARTED CRYING, 209 00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:42,861 AND I REMEMBER HOLDING HIM. 210 00:14:44,724 --> 00:14:48,034 AND... 211 00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:50,454 I WANT TO SAY THAT'S PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME 212 00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:53,688 IN MY LIFE. 213 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:58,479 THAT I EVER SAW HIM CR... CR 214 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,932 CRY. 215 00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:06,691 AND... HE REALLY CRIED. 216 00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:26,000 I'll GET THROUGH THIS. 217 00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,717 AS THE SEARCH CONTINUES ALONG THE BANKS. 218 00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:49,344 OF THE KANKAKEE RIVER, THERE HAS BEEN NO SIGN 219 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:51,384 OF MISSING 10-YEAR-OLD CHRISTOPHER MEYER. 220 00:15:58,793 --> 00:16:02,313 I WOULD SIT AND LOOK OUT OUR PICTURE WINDOW. 221 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:06,210 AND JUST KNOW HE WAS GONNA COME UP, 222 00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:09,966 PUSHING HIS BIKE, YOU KNOW, UP THE DRIVEWAY. 223 00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:15,515 I IMAGINED HIM BEING DIRTY AND MUDDY, 224 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,237 TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS LIKE, "OH, GOD, 225 00:16:17,241 --> 00:16:19,761 I'M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE NOW," KIND OF A THING, 226 00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:26,028 AND YET HOW RELIEVED I WAS GONNA BE THAT HE WAS OKAY. 227 00:16:43,896 --> 00:16:46,686 AND THEN I GOT A PHONE CALL SAYING, 228 00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:50,169 "YOU NEED TO COME DOWN TO THE FIRE DEPARTMENT," 229 00:16:50,172 --> 00:16:52,382 AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, THEY FOUND HIM!" 230 00:16:55,793 --> 00:17:00,973 I REMEMBER THEM OPENING THE DOORS OF THIS CARGO VAN... 231 00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:06,864 ...AND THERE WAS HIS BIKE. 232 00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:10,972 IT WAS VERY ODD SEEING THAT BIKE AND NOT HIM WITH IT. 233 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:23,073 BUT I KNEW THAT I HAD TO BELIEVE 234 00:17:23,068 --> 00:17:26,238 THAT THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG EITHER... 235 00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:28,211 "EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY. 236 00:17:28,206 --> 00:17:32,446 HE'S GOING TO COME WALKING UP THAT DRIVE, YOU KNOW? 237 00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:36,858 HE'S GONNA COME HOME. HE'S GONNA COME HOME." 238 00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:39,662 AND THEY BROUGHT A SHOE IN THAT THEY HAD FOUND IN THE RIVER. 239 00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:44,693 I FELT LIKE MY KNEES BUCKLED. 240 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:53,969 THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT WAS JUST LIKE, LIKE, 241 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:58,445 I COULDN'T HOLD ONTO MY SANITY FOR A MOMENT. 242 00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:01,828 I STARTED GOING TO THAT DARK PLACE 243 00:18:01,827 --> 00:18:03,997 'CAUSE THEY HAD FOUND THESE THINGS. 244 00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:22,548 ON AUGUST 14th, WE WERE PHYSICALLY. 245 00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:25,761 AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINED. 246 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,831 I HADN'T SEEN MY OTHER KIDS IN SEVERAL DAYS 247 00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:33,377 BECAUSE THEY WERE WITH FRIENDS, 248 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:36,139 AND I WANTED THEM TO BE SHIELDED FROM ALL THIS. 249 00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:47,376 AND I WAS SO TIRED OF BEING IN CHAOS. 250 00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:51,099 I HATED IT. 251 00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:57,523 I PRAYED, "PLEASE LET THIS BE OVER, 252 00:18:57,517 --> 00:19:00,517 AND WHATEVER IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, 253 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:04,137 I'M GONNA ACCEPT," 254 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:06,517 AND I PRAYED AND PRAYED AND PRAYED, 255 00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:07,827 AND I REMEMBER... I'll NEVER FORGET. 256 00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:12,307 THAT WAS AT 1:00 A.M. 257 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:14,380 WHEN I CURLED UP INTO BED... 258 00:19:20,482 --> 00:19:25,622 ...AND I FELT, LIKE, A SPLIT SECOND LATER, 259 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:28,380 SOMEONE WAS AT MY DOOR. 260 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:52,755 I KNOW I PRAYED ON THE WAY OVER THERE TO GIVE ME STRENGTH. 261 00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,406 SHE COULD TELL BY THE LOOK ON MY FACE, 262 00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:00,763 I'M SURE, THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED. 263 00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:02,618 I SAYS, "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU," 264 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:05,480 AND SO WE WENT BACK INTO ANOTHER ROOM AND SAT DOWN. 265 00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:11,662 AND THEN SHE SAID, 266 00:20:11,655 --> 00:20:14,615 "WE FOUND A CHILD'S BODY," 267 00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:17,170 AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT, SAID, 268 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,862 "BUT WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S CHRISTOPHER'S." 269 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:25,715 AND I WASN'T CRYING. 270 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,664 I JUST REMEMBER LOOKING AT HER AND SAYING, 271 00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:31,445 "BUT THERE'S NO OTHER KIDS MISSING." 272 00:20:40,758 --> 00:20:43,378 YOU WANTED TO GIVE HER SOME HOPE, BUT THERE WAS... 273 00:20:43,379 --> 00:20:46,029 SHE KNEW, AND I KNEW, AND IT WAS JUST... 274 00:20:46,034 --> 00:20:47,794 IT WAS TOUGH. IT WAS TOUGH. 275 00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:50,723 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 276 00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,074 JUST CRIED. 277 00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:55,998 WE JUST SAT AND CRIED AND HELD HANDS. 278 00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:07,205 I'M A MOM, AND I WAS GOING THROUGH IT WITH HER, 279 00:21:07,206 --> 00:21:09,656 NOT THE SAME, BUT I WAS STILL GOING THROUGH IT WITH HER. 280 00:21:15,689 --> 00:21:21,929 MY WHOLE WORLD, MY WHOLE LIFE AS I KNEW IT, 281 00:21:21,931 --> 00:21:26,101 MY WHOLE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, CHANGED, 282 00:21:26,103 --> 00:21:29,453 AND THE FUTURE THAT I ENVISIONED FOR MYSELF... 283 00:21:33,517 --> 00:21:35,067 ...IT TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. 284 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,480 AND I KNEW THAT I WASN'T WAKING UP FROM THE NIGHTMARE. 285 00:22:02,758 --> 00:22:05,588 A TRAGIC END TO THE SEARCH FOR A MISSING BOY. 286 00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:07,996 TWO WILL COUNTY OFFICERS FOUND MEYER'S BODY 287 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,450 AT THE END OF THIS PATH NEAR THE KANKAKEE COUNTY BORDER. 288 00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,478 POLICE ARE HOPING TO IDENTIFY A SUSPECT, 289 00:22:13,482 --> 00:22:15,902 AS WITNESSES SAY THEY SAW HIM SPEAKING TO A MAN 290 00:22:15,896 --> 00:22:18,926 ABOUT 35 YEARS OLD WITH DARK HAIR AND A MUSTACHE. 291 00:22:24,068 --> 00:22:25,588 ONE DAY, I OPENED THE PAPER, 292 00:22:25,586 --> 00:22:27,446 AND THERE WAS THIS PICTURE, 293 00:22:27,448 --> 00:22:29,278 A COMPOSITE SKETCH. 294 00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:44,378 YOU KNOW, I REALIZED HE WOULD BE IN HIS MID-20s OR SO, 295 00:22:44,379 --> 00:22:46,619 AND I SAW THE EYES. 296 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:51,864 YOU KNOW, THOSE EYES, THEY'RE ALMOST... 297 00:22:51,862 --> 00:22:54,452 THEY'RE STARING AT YOU, BUT THERE'S... 298 00:22:54,448 --> 00:22:58,448 IT'S A BLANK-TYPE, YOU KNOW, EMOTIONLESS STARE. 299 00:23:01,137 --> 00:23:03,687 THEN I TOLD MY WIFE. I SAID, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?" 300 00:23:03,689 --> 00:23:06,279 AND SHE SAID, "NO," AND I TOLD HER IT WAS TIM BUSS. 301 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,685 I HADN'T LAID EYES ON HIM IN, 302 00:23:21,689 --> 00:23:24,519 YOU KNOW, 15 YEARS PROBABLY. 303 00:23:24,517 --> 00:23:26,447 THERE HE WAS. 304 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,281 WHEN I SAW HIM IN THE SQUAD CAR 305 00:23:31,275 --> 00:23:35,095 AND THEN AGAIN WHEN I SAW THE COMPOSITE SKETCH, 306 00:23:35,103 --> 00:23:39,553 IT WAS, LIKE, THE SAME FEELING THAT CAME OVER ME. 307 00:23:42,758 --> 00:23:48,168 I KNEW WHO IT WAS BECAUSE THE SKETCH HIT ME 308 00:23:48,172 --> 00:23:53,102 AS THAT BOY THAT WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH LOOKING AT ME. 309 00:23:55,448 --> 00:23:58,238 IT WAS AT THAT POINT WHEN HE GOT UP OFF OF THAT PORCH, 310 00:23:58,241 --> 00:24:01,341 AND HE JOINED IN ON THE SEARCH AT THAT MOMENT. 311 00:24:03,896 --> 00:24:07,236 LATER THAT DAY, THE NEWS HAD GOTTEN TO ME THAT 312 00:24:07,241 --> 00:24:10,831 THAT WAS THE BOY WHO FOUND TARA. 313 00:24:15,517 --> 00:24:17,927 AND THEY WERE WALKING INTO THIS... 314 00:24:17,931 --> 00:24:21,721 IT'S AN OLD CITY DUMP. 315 00:24:21,724 --> 00:24:24,174 THE KID JUST KIND OF VEERED OFF ON HIS OWN, 316 00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:26,142 AND HE WAS LIKE, "I FOUND HER." 317 00:24:26,137 --> 00:24:28,517 I FOUND HER," AND HE ACTUALLY PICKED HER UP. 318 00:24:33,586 --> 00:24:34,896 PRETTY SOON, IT'S... 319 00:24:34,896 --> 00:24:37,276 THE WHOLE PICTURE STARTS COMING TOGETHER, 320 00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:40,405 AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I'll BE DAMNED," YOU KNOW, 321 00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:43,413 "HE'S THE GUY. HE'S THE GUY. HE DID IT." 322 00:24:49,965 --> 00:24:52,095 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST... IT'S STILL UNIMAGINABLE. 323 00:24:57,517 --> 00:25:02,377 I BELIEVE WHAT KILLED HER WAS THAT SHE HAD SUFFERED 324 00:25:02,379 --> 00:25:05,169 A BLUNT-FORCE TRAUMA TO THE HEAD. 325 00:25:10,137 --> 00:25:12,027 I MEAN, IT WAS HORRIBLE. 326 00:25:26,896 --> 00:25:30,136 THE SECOND I SEEN IT, I KNEW WHO IT WAS, 327 00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:32,477 AND I WENT TO THE POLICE OFFICER AND TOLD HIM, 328 00:25:32,482 --> 00:25:35,072 "I CAN IDENTIFY THIS SKETCH," 329 00:25:35,068 --> 00:25:36,518 AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS TIM BUSS, 330 00:25:36,517 --> 00:25:39,337 AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE 331 00:25:39,344 --> 00:25:41,934 MAYBE HE'D JUST SEEN A GHOST OR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW? 332 00:25:46,517 --> 00:25:49,857 I HADN'T SEEN TIM BUSS SINCE HE WAS 13. 333 00:26:00,689 --> 00:26:02,969 I WAS THE JUVENILE OFFICER FOR KANKAKEE COUNTY, 334 00:26:02,965 --> 00:26:05,895 AND WE WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE JAIL, 335 00:26:05,896 --> 00:26:10,066 SO I HAD TO TRANSPORT TIM BUSS TO WILL COUNTY FOR HIS CASE. 336 00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:16,793 HIS LACK OF EMOTION WAS REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW? 337 00:26:16,793 --> 00:26:20,413 AFTER WHAT HE HAD BEEN THROUGH AND STAYING IN THE COUNTY JAIL, 338 00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:24,413 I WOULD THINK HE WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE EMOTIONAL OR DOWN, 339 00:26:24,413 --> 00:26:27,623 AND HE DIDN'T SEEM TO BE. HE WAS NOT EMOTIONAL AT ALL. 340 00:26:37,551 --> 00:26:39,451 "LOOKS A LOT LIKE TIMOTHY BUSS. WHERE'S HE AT? 341 00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:41,448 DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE HE'S AT?" 342 00:26:41,448 --> 00:26:44,548 TIMOTHY BUSS WAS IN PRISON, AS FAR AS WE KNEW. 343 00:26:44,551 --> 00:26:47,101 I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE, "HE'S NOT OUT, IS HE?" 344 00:27:00,931 --> 00:27:04,591 TIM BUSS HAD MURDERED TARA SUE. 345 00:27:04,586 --> 00:27:07,066 HE WAS JUST A CHILD. HE WAS JUST 13. 346 00:27:08,931 --> 00:27:10,451 TARA SUE WAS ONLY 5, 347 00:27:10,448 --> 00:27:13,098 AND IT WAS JUST SO HORRIBLE FOR EVERYBODY IN THE COMMUNITY 348 00:27:13,103 --> 00:27:15,413 TO THINK SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD HAPPEN HERE. 349 00:27:35,758 --> 00:27:38,408 WE HAD A COMPOSITE SKETCH MADE UP. 350 00:27:38,413 --> 00:27:40,283 A COUPLE OF PEOPLE LOOKED AT THAT 351 00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:42,995 AND THOUGHT IT RESEMBLED SOMEBODY THAT THEY KNEW, 352 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,790 WHICH WAS TIMOTHY BUSS. 353 00:27:47,241 --> 00:27:51,241 TIMOTHY BUSS WAS IN PRISON, AS FAR AS WE KNEW, 354 00:27:51,241 --> 00:27:53,761 BUT, I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE, "HE'S NOT OUT, IS HE?" 355 00:27:58,103 --> 00:28:01,103 SO, WE CONTACTED DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS 356 00:28:01,103 --> 00:28:04,553 AND FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS RELEASED TWO YEARS PRIOR. 357 00:28:11,827 --> 00:28:13,547 IT WAS HORRIBLE. 358 00:28:14,551 --> 00:28:18,691 BUT ANYWAY, 359 00:28:18,689 --> 00:28:20,139 YEAH, WHEN I HEARD, "TIM BUSS," 360 00:28:20,137 --> 00:28:23,067 IT WAS JUST, LIKE, 361 00:28:23,068 --> 00:28:25,928 I PRAYED IT WASN'T THE SAME. 362 00:28:25,931 --> 00:28:27,481 NO, THAT'S ALL. THANK YOU. 363 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:34,339 OUR HEARTS SANK, AND WE JUST HAD TO DO OUR INVESTIGATION. 364 00:28:43,793 --> 00:28:45,523 TIM BUSS WAS FROM THIS AREA. 365 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:48,167 HIS FAMILY STILL LIVED IN THE AREA, 366 00:28:48,172 --> 00:28:51,212 AND I THINK HE WAS DRAWN TO THE WATER, THE RIVER. 367 00:28:54,965 --> 00:28:56,995 HE WAS A SUSPECT, BUT AT THAT POINT, 368 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,860 WE DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF EVIDENCE OR ANYTHING. 369 00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:00,902 WE JUST NEEDED TO TALK TO HIM. 370 00:29:05,482 --> 00:29:07,592 MR. BUSS! 371 00:29:09,379 --> 00:29:13,689 AND OUR OFFICERS AND DETECTIVES APPROACHED HIM. 372 00:29:13,689 --> 00:29:16,789 THAT'S WHEN HE GOT A LITTLE UPSET... 373 00:29:16,793 --> 00:29:18,723 "ANY TIME A CHILD IS MISSING, ARE YOU GONNA COME AFTER ME 374 00:29:18,724 --> 00:29:20,284 AND TRY TO ARREST ME?" 375 00:29:22,586 --> 00:29:24,136 LOOKING AT HIM, HE'S AN ADULT NOW, 376 00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:25,787 YOU KNOW, NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE. 377 00:29:29,137 --> 00:29:31,067 IT WAS JUST UNBELIEVABLE TO SEE HIM. 378 00:29:37,413 --> 00:29:40,453 WHEN THE OFFICERS ASKED TO SEARCH THE VEHICLE, 379 00:29:40,448 --> 00:29:42,828 HE SAYS, "YOU CAN SEARCH IT. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE," 380 00:29:42,827 --> 00:29:46,407 AND JUST SIGNED A WAIVER SAYING TO GO AHEAD AND SEARCH THE CAR. 381 00:29:50,379 --> 00:29:53,449 WHEN WE SAW THE BLOOD IN THE VEHICLE OR FOUND OUT 382 00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:55,828 THAT THERE WAS BLOOD THERE IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR, 383 00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:58,447 THE EVIDENCE OFFICERS WERE TAKING PICTURES 384 00:29:58,448 --> 00:29:59,658 AND COLLECTING EVIDENCE, 385 00:29:59,655 --> 00:30:01,375 AND THEY COLLECTED SOME HAIR SAMPLES 386 00:30:01,379 --> 00:30:04,519 SO THEY COULD MATCH THE DNA MATCH FOR THE BLOOD, 387 00:30:04,517 --> 00:30:08,167 AND IT CAME BACK AS CHRISTOPHER'S. 388 00:30:19,379 --> 00:30:22,379 BACK IN 1981, TIM BUSS WAS CONVICTED. 389 00:30:22,379 --> 00:30:25,759 OF MURDERING 5-YEAR-OLD TARA SUE HUFFMAN. 390 00:30:25,758 --> 00:30:28,028 AFTER SERVING ONLY HALF OF HIS PRISON SENTENCE, 391 00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:29,834 HE WAS PAROLED TWO YEARS AGO. 392 00:30:32,275 --> 00:30:36,755 HAD NO IDEA, YOU KNOW, THAT HE WAS EVEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 393 00:30:36,758 --> 00:30:40,658 OR ANYWHERE AROUND US, BUT HE WAS. 394 00:30:42,344 --> 00:30:46,284 HE WAS THIS MONSTER THAT WAS PREYING ON OUR CHILDREN, 395 00:30:46,275 --> 00:30:48,405 AND IT WAS ALMOST LIKE HE HAD KIND OF 396 00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:51,283 BECAME THE FREDDY KRUEGER OF KANKAKEE COUNTY. 397 00:30:54,034 --> 00:30:58,384 IT'S HARD TO FATHOM THAT SOMEBODY COULD DO THIS 398 00:30:58,379 --> 00:31:03,339 AND THEN HAVE THAT SAME PERSON DO IT AGAIN. 399 00:31:03,344 --> 00:31:04,904 SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT. 400 00:31:13,034 --> 00:31:16,554 IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE THIS, 401 00:31:16,551 --> 00:31:19,861 NOT JUST ONCE BUT DEFINITELY NOT TWICE. 402 00:31:25,310 --> 00:31:27,900 FRIENDS AND FAMILY GATHER AS YOUNG CHRISTOPHER MEYER. 403 00:31:27,896 --> 00:31:31,826 IS LAID TO REST TODAY AT THE AROMA PARK CEMETERY. 404 00:31:31,827 --> 00:31:35,067 HE IS REMEMBERED AS A BOY WHO LOVED TO FISH. 405 00:31:35,068 --> 00:31:38,138 HE LOVED TO SING, LOVED BUTTERFLIES, 406 00:31:38,137 --> 00:31:40,757 AND TRULY LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST. 407 00:31:43,758 --> 00:31:48,278 THAT MORNING THAT CHRISTOPHER WAS GETTING READY, 408 00:31:48,275 --> 00:31:50,925 HE DREW A PICTURE OF A BUTTERFLY FOR A COWORKER 409 00:31:50,931 --> 00:31:53,211 BECAUSE IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY... 410 00:31:56,862 --> 00:31:58,902 ...AND THE DAY OF HIS FUNERAL, 411 00:31:58,896 --> 00:32:02,446 MY FRIEND TALKED ABOUT THE PICTURE THAT HE DREW HER 412 00:32:02,448 --> 00:32:06,658 AND HOW CHRIS NOW IS FREE LIKE A BUTTERFLY 413 00:32:06,655 --> 00:32:09,205 TO FLOAT AND DANCE AND PLAY IN THE WIND, 414 00:32:11,482 --> 00:32:13,722 AND THEN WHEN WE GOT OUT TO THE CEMETERY, 415 00:32:13,724 --> 00:32:16,904 THERE WAS A BUTTERFLY FLOATING AROUND 416 00:32:16,896 --> 00:32:19,066 AND CIRCLING AROUND THE GRAVE SITE. 417 00:32:22,137 --> 00:32:23,967 AND I LOOK BACK ON IT NOW 418 00:32:23,965 --> 00:32:26,135 THAT HE MEANT A LOT TO THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY... 419 00:32:28,793 --> 00:32:33,313 ...YOU KNOW, THAT THERE WAS THIS LITTLE BOY THAT NOBODY KNEW 420 00:32:33,310 --> 00:32:34,970 AND NOW EVERYBODY KNEW. 421 00:32:43,172 --> 00:32:48,452 MY BIGGEST PAIN IS THAT I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE, 422 00:32:48,448 --> 00:32:50,448 AND I DIDN'T GET TO KNOW FOR SURE 423 00:32:50,448 --> 00:32:52,308 IF HE KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM. 424 00:32:54,862 --> 00:32:58,522 THAT'S THE HARD PART. 425 00:32:58,517 --> 00:33:01,447 AND I THINK THAT'S THE PART OF... 426 00:33:05,827 --> 00:33:07,897 ...MY LIFE I REGRET THE MOST 427 00:33:07,896 --> 00:33:10,966 IS I DON'T KNOW IF I SAID, "I LOVE YOU" THAT DAY. 428 00:33:10,965 --> 00:33:12,615 I DON'T REMEMBER. 429 00:33:15,793 --> 00:33:22,723 SEEING THAT BLUE COFFIN CARRIED BY ALL THE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS 430 00:33:22,724 --> 00:33:28,284 AND KNOWING THAT MY CHILD WAS IN THERE, 431 00:33:28,275 --> 00:33:35,445 I MEAN, TO HAVE TO SEE YOUR CHILDREN GRIEVE THEIR SIBLING, 432 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:38,338 I THINK THAT'S HARDER THAN MY OWN GRIEF. 433 00:33:53,068 --> 00:33:55,278 WHEN SOMEBODY COMMITS A VIOLENT CRIME 434 00:33:55,275 --> 00:33:57,025 AGAINST A CHILD ESPECIALLY, 435 00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:59,314 THEY SHOULD NEVER HAVE A SECOND CHANCE TO GET OUT. 436 00:33:59,310 --> 00:34:03,000 IF NOT THE DEATH PENALTY, THEY SHOULD BE IN FOR LIFE. 437 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,620 WHAT I KNOW ABOUT TIM BUSS NOW, 438 00:34:04,620 --> 00:34:07,410 THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER RELEASED HIM. 439 00:34:07,413 --> 00:34:10,763 THAT YOUNG MAN HAS EVIL. 440 00:34:10,758 --> 00:34:12,898 HE'S JUST EVIL. 441 00:34:12,896 --> 00:34:15,756 HOW COULD A 13-YEAR-OLD CONCEIVABLY DO SOMETHING 442 00:34:15,758 --> 00:34:18,618 SO HORRIBLE TO A LITTLE GIRL 443 00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:22,520 AND WHY HE WOULD REPEAT WHAT HE HAD DONE YEARS BEFORE. 444 00:34:23,758 --> 00:34:26,068 YEAH. 445 00:34:27,689 --> 00:34:30,789 I MEAN, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S MAD. 446 00:34:32,965 --> 00:34:35,335 YEAH. 447 00:34:35,344 --> 00:34:37,454 I SEE ANGER THERE. 448 00:34:50,586 --> 00:34:52,546 A MONTH BEFORE TIMOTHY BUSS 449 00:34:52,551 --> 00:34:55,661 COMMITTED HIS FIRST MURDER AT AGE 13, 450 00:34:55,655 --> 00:34:59,025 "BUSS' MOTHER, WHO HAD LEFT THE REST OF THE FAMILY YEARS BEFORE, 451 00:34:59,034 --> 00:35:03,594 CAME TO COURT AND, WITH BUSS AND HIS THREE SIBLINGS PRESENT, 452 00:35:03,586 --> 00:35:06,066 TOLD A JUDGE SHE DID NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO 453 00:35:06,068 --> 00:35:09,448 WITH HER CHILDREN." 454 00:35:09,448 --> 00:35:12,658 YEAH, WHO KNOWS? WHO KNOWS WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HIS LIFE 455 00:35:12,655 --> 00:35:14,685 AND HIS MIND, BUT THAT IS SAD. 456 00:35:14,689 --> 00:35:17,209 IT'S VERY SAD THAT A CHILD HAS TO GO THROUGH THAT. 457 00:35:32,379 --> 00:35:35,069 HE MAKES ME HAPPY, YOU KNOW? 458 00:35:35,068 --> 00:35:37,168 I SEE THIS, AND THAT'S HOW I REMEMBER HIM, 459 00:35:37,172 --> 00:35:39,172 AND I HATE THAT I DON'T HAVE HIM HERE. 460 00:35:42,551 --> 00:35:44,521 SHORTLY AFTER HIS DEATH, 461 00:35:44,517 --> 00:35:47,477 I WAS GOING THROUGH A REALLY DIFFICULT TIME, 462 00:35:47,482 --> 00:35:51,622 AND I WAS ANGRY AT THE WORLD AND EVERYBODY, 463 00:35:51,620 --> 00:35:56,970 AND I DROVE OUT TO THE CEMETERY, AND AS I WAS SITTING THERE, 464 00:35:56,965 --> 00:36:00,205 A POLICE OFFICER CAME UP BECAUSE THE SIGN SAYS, 465 00:36:00,206 --> 00:36:01,656 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE 466 00:36:01,655 --> 00:36:04,335 AFTER DARK OR AFTER DUSK, 467 00:36:04,344 --> 00:36:07,314 AND HE SAW IT WAS ME, AND I SAID, "I'M SORRY. I'll LEAVE,". 468 00:36:07,310 --> 00:36:09,900 AND HE GOES, "IT'S OKAY," 469 00:36:09,896 --> 00:36:13,136 AND HE GOES, "BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW." 470 00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:14,757 HE POINTED TO THE GRAVE SITE. 471 00:36:14,758 --> 00:36:17,378 HE GOES, "THAT'S NOT HIM," 472 00:36:17,379 --> 00:36:18,689 HE SAYS, AND HE POINTED TO MY CHEST. 473 00:36:18,689 --> 00:36:21,169 HE GOES, "HE'S IN HERE. 474 00:36:21,172 --> 00:36:23,762 THE SOUL IS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME." 475 00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:29,380 MY LIFE WAS SHATTERED, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, 476 00:36:29,379 --> 00:36:30,999 I HAD TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT 477 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,900 THAT WE'RE STILL MISSING PART OF OUR LIVES 478 00:36:34,896 --> 00:36:39,756 AND A CHILD THAT'S NOT HERE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE, 479 00:36:39,758 --> 00:36:41,968 AND I'M STILL AFRAID TO LET GO. 480 00:36:41,965 --> 00:36:43,475 I'M STILL AFRAID. 481 00:36:43,482 --> 00:36:49,382 22 YEARS LATER, I'M STILL AFRAID TO GRIEVE 482 00:36:49,379 --> 00:36:51,409 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK I'll STOP. 483 00:37:02,482 --> 00:37:06,172 WHEN CHRISTOPHER WAS BURIED, I DID NOT GO OUT FOR THAT. 484 00:37:06,172 --> 00:37:07,862 I DIDN'T GO TO THAT CEREMONY. 485 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:09,932 I WAITED AND WENT LATER AND... 486 00:37:11,379 --> 00:37:13,409 ...AND WENT BY MYSELF. 487 00:37:13,413 --> 00:37:14,933 I DIDN'T GO WITH EVERYBODY ELSE. 488 00:37:14,931 --> 00:37:17,241 I HATE THIS. I'M SORRY. 489 00:37:17,241 --> 00:37:20,381 BUT, YEAH, I DIDN'T GO TO THE SERVICE. 490 00:37:20,379 --> 00:37:21,619 I JUST COULDN'T. I DIDN'T THINK... 491 00:37:21,620 --> 00:37:22,900 IT WASN'T ABOUT ME. 492 00:37:22,896 --> 00:37:26,616 IT WAS ABOUT HER AND HER SUFFERING. 493 00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:32,240 I CAME HOME AND HUGGED MY KIDS AND CRIED BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 494 00:37:32,241 --> 00:37:35,451 I HAD MY KID TO HUG, YOU KNOW, AND YOU FEEL THAT. 495 00:37:35,448 --> 00:37:37,998 YOU FEEL LIKE, "GOSH, HE WAS 10 YEARS OLD, 496 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,310 AND HE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GO DOWN TO THAT BOAT LAUNCH, 497 00:37:40,310 --> 00:37:44,620 YOU KNOW, AND PLAY LIKE ANY OTHER 10-YEAR-OLD AND BE SAFE." 498 00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:46,280 HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE. 499 00:37:49,275 --> 00:37:51,685 SOMETIMES EVIL OUTWEIGHS THE GOOD. 500 00:38:07,827 --> 00:38:11,997 TARA PLANTED THAT TREE 501 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,900 AND THAT MAPLE SEED HAD GOTTEN INTO HER SANDBOX, 502 00:38:14,896 --> 00:38:18,096 AND IT GREW ABOUT PROBABLY 8 INCHES TALL, 503 00:38:18,103 --> 00:38:21,833 AND SHE HAD DUG UP THAT LITTLE SAPLING 504 00:38:21,827 --> 00:38:23,407 AND BROUGHT IT HOME IN A CUP, 505 00:38:23,413 --> 00:38:27,033 AND SHE PLANTED IT THERE, AND THAT'S THE TREE TODAY. 506 00:38:27,034 --> 00:38:31,104 IT'S 40 YEARS OLD PROBABLY, 42 MAYBE. 507 00:38:35,275 --> 00:38:39,445 IT'S A REAL EMOTIONAL HEARTBREAK FOR A 40-ODD. 508 00:38:39,448 --> 00:38:41,928 IT OPENS YOUR EYES UP TO A LOT OF EVIL. 509 00:38:41,931 --> 00:38:44,341 IT DOES. 510 00:38:44,344 --> 00:38:46,244 THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE 511 00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,831 THAT COULD COMMIT SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME, YOU KNOW, 512 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,827 AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY'RE AT. 513 00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:54,277 THEY COULD BE NEXT DOOR. 514 00:38:57,379 --> 00:39:00,449 TIME DOESN'T REALLY HEAL YOU. 515 00:39:00,448 --> 00:39:04,168 WHAT THE TIME DOES IS IT ALLOWS YOU 516 00:39:04,172 --> 00:39:07,592 THE TIME TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH WHAT HAPPENED. 517 00:39:07,586 --> 00:39:10,686 HONESTLY, IT'S HARDLY A DAY GOES BY 518 00:39:10,689 --> 00:39:14,479 THAT SOMETHING DOESN'T SPARK THAT MEMORY, SO... 519 00:39:20,655 --> 00:39:24,685 WHEN I'M GONE FISHING, YOU KNOW, 520 00:39:24,689 --> 00:39:26,589 SHE WENT WITH ME. 521 00:39:29,655 --> 00:39:30,895 NOW, WHEN I GO FISHING, 522 00:39:30,896 --> 00:39:34,476 EVEN WHEN I GO FISHING WITH THE GUYS, 523 00:39:34,482 --> 00:39:36,072 I STILL BRING HER WITH ME. 524 00:39:39,034 --> 00:39:42,864 SHE'S GONE, BUT SHE STILL LIVES. 525 00:39:42,862 --> 00:39:44,242 YOU GOT TO LIVE, YOU KNOW? 526 00:39:44,241 --> 00:39:49,031 WE'RE NOT IN THIS WORLD JUST TO BARELY SURVIVE. 527 00:39:49,034 --> 00:39:51,144 WHEN YOU DIE, IT'S NOT ABOUT DEATH. 528 00:39:51,137 --> 00:39:53,407 IT'S ABOUT THE LIFE THAT YOU LIVED. 529 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:12,340 AS A PARENT, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT NEEDING TO KNOW 530 00:40:12,344 --> 00:40:15,864 IF THERE WAS ONE MORE THING I COULD HAVE DONE. 531 00:40:18,413 --> 00:40:22,283 WHAT IS THE REASON THIS HAD TO BE MY CHILD? 532 00:40:22,275 --> 00:40:25,515 IT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ANYBODY, BUT WHY ME? 533 00:40:25,517 --> 00:40:29,657 I NEED TO... I JUST FELT LIKE I NEEDED THOSE ANSWERS. 534 00:40:29,655 --> 00:40:32,755 I WAS IN TRIAL, AND I FOUND OUT 535 00:40:32,758 --> 00:40:36,338 THAT HE HAD DEFENSIVE WOUNDS ON HIS HANDS 536 00:40:36,344 --> 00:40:38,934 AND THAT HE WAS CONSCIOUS, 537 00:40:38,931 --> 00:40:41,691 AND THEN IT TOOK SEVERAL STAB WOUNDS, 538 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:43,449 AND I LEFT. 539 00:40:43,448 --> 00:40:45,718 I HAD TO LEAVE THE COURTROOM, 540 00:40:45,724 --> 00:40:49,554 AND I QUIETLY GOT UP AND SNUCK OUT. 541 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:55,382 I THINK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH THE WHOLE TIME, 542 00:40:55,379 --> 00:40:58,209 BUT THEN ON THE WAY HOME THAT DAY, 543 00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:01,336 I THOUGHT, "HE DID WHAT I TOLD HIM TO DO," 544 00:41:01,344 --> 00:41:03,904 'CAUSE I REMEMBER TELLING THE KIDS, 545 00:41:03,896 --> 00:41:06,686 "IF ANYBODY TRIES TO HURT YOU, 546 00:41:06,689 --> 00:41:08,999 YOU KICK, FIGHT, SCRATCH, SCREAM, 547 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,340 DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET AWAY," 548 00:41:12,344 --> 00:41:13,764 AND I WENT... INSTEAD OF GOING HOME, 549 00:41:13,758 --> 00:41:15,858 I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE CEMETERY AND TOLD HIM 550 00:41:15,862 --> 00:41:19,622 I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM FOR TRYING. 551 00:41:34,448 --> 00:41:37,858 TO COPE WITH THE LOSS, I NEEDED TO MAKE A CHANGE 552 00:41:37,862 --> 00:41:40,242 TO MAKE SURE THAT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 553 00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:45,524 I STARTED THE NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION 554 00:41:45,517 --> 00:41:47,787 CHRISTOPHER'S CLUBHOUSE SO I COULD REACH OUT 555 00:41:47,793 --> 00:41:50,623 TO MORE CHILDREN AND FAMILIES. 556 00:41:50,620 --> 00:41:52,790 I WANTED TO TEACH KIDS SO EVERY CHILD 557 00:41:52,793 --> 00:41:55,723 COULD BE SAFE IN EVERY SITUATION. 558 00:41:55,724 --> 00:41:59,384 CHRISTOPHER, WE LOVE YOU. 559 00:41:59,379 --> 00:42:04,619 YOUR SPIRIT WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE ON AND SHINE RIGHT HERE. 560 00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:07,100 I THINK HE'S HAPPY. 561 00:42:07,103 --> 00:42:10,483 I THINK HE'S PROUD, AND I THINK HE'S SAYING, 562 00:42:10,482 --> 00:42:13,102 "IT'S OKAY, MOM." 563 00:42:13,103 --> 00:42:14,763 THIS IS MY CHILD, YOU KNOW? 564 00:42:14,758 --> 00:42:17,658 CHRIS IS MY CHILD, AND JUST LIKE PEOPLE TALK 565 00:42:17,655 --> 00:42:21,305 ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN THAT ARE LIVING, 566 00:42:21,310 --> 00:42:23,000 HE'S STILL ALIVE WITHIN ME, 567 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,790 AND SO I STILL WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM.