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[rock music playing]
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[vocalizing]
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♪ In to win it ♪
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♪ And I know you notice ♪
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♪ It's up in lights so say my name… ♪
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[woman] I always knew
that I was different.
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[Jonathan] Everybody!
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-[Karamo laughs]
-[Tan] Yes, ma'am!
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Our angel this week is literally an Angel.
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-Our hero this week, honey.
-Aww!
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Here I am.
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"Her name is Angel Flores."
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"She's 22. She now lives in Austin."
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"She's an athlete and a coach
who just graduated from UT."
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-Yay!
-Yes!
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I coach Olympic weightlifting,
and I compete in powerlifting.
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-Powerlifting, that's no joke.
-Yes!
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"She was nominated by Vinny,
her coach, and Katia, her girlfriend."
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-[exhales]
-There's nobody like Angel.
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Oh, that was just a flex. [laughs]
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I'm like, okay,
I am not gonna do that one.
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-Why not?
-[laughing]
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Any time I tell people about Angel,
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I always kind of warn them ahead of time,
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"Hey, you're gonna be
around this woman for about 30 seconds
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and you're gonna fall in love with her,
because you can't not love Angel."
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Drive it up!
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[man yells] Come on, girl!
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-[sighs]
-Easy peasy.
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-Whoo!
-[Angel laughing]
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[Vinny] She's extremely driven.
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About two weeks ago, she competed
in her first powerlifting competition.
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She moved mountains.
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Nice 402 pounds like nothing.
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She now holds the state record.
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Angel's a very strong woman.
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She's so unapologetically her.
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And I wish that that could be
implemented more in her everyday life,
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and not in just her lifting.
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[Katia] It's interesting
to see her go out into the world
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and, like,
literally make herself smaller
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because I don't think
she feels comfortable as who she is.
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[Angel] I've always just been really,
really insecure about my body.
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I guess it took me 20 years
to realize that, like,
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it's not that I needed
to find a more masculine body
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or be ripped or be shredded.
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It's that I needed to transition.
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[Katia] She looks like
she wants to steal your medicine.
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-You don't want any T blockers, baby.
-[both laugh]
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[Angel] Austin Pride 2019, I, like,
shaved my legs for the first time.
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I, like, put the sports bra on,
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and I put on, like,
a pair of, like, tiny shorts,
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and I looked in the mirror,
and I was like, "That's me."
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[chuckles] It was, like, so freeing.
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My cocoon just kind of went… boop.
And, like, that was it.
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[Vinny] She's always in gym clothes,
running around in a sports bra
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and short shorts,
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and she doesn't know quite
how to be anything other than that.
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I'm built like a fridge.
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-You're a very cute fridge.
-[laughs]
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I'd love it if Angel wore
not sports clothes on a date. [laughs]
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"Outside the gym,
Angel's extremely self-conscious
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about how she presents herself in public,
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and she still shies away from most
public spaces out of fear of rejection."
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[Karamo] Wow.
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The idea of doing any kind of shopping
outside of grocery shopping alone is just…
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[whistles] …terrifying.
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Absolutely terrifying
and anxiety-inducing.
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Who's watching me pick out clothes?
Is this going to fit my body type?
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Do I go to a fitting room?
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Am I gonna put this on
and immediately get an anxiety attack?
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It's just… it really sucks.
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[Vinny] Angel is truly finding who she is,
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but she still has those
few speed bumps to get over.
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She is
at a very pivotal point in her life,
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and she just needs
to be shown that she's perfect. [laughs]
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[Vinny] I feel like only people that
have been in the queer community
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can show her that path,
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and I think that would
make her feel so seen.
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Yes! We want her to feel comfortable
and safe and herself everywhere she goes.
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"So let's help this athlete go for gold
both inside the gym and out!"
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[all] Yeah!
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[theme music playing]
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♪ Better
All things just keep getting better ♪
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-[rock music playing]
-♪ You're so beautiful ♪
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♪ You're so magical… ♪
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[Vinny and Angel] Go!
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Pause, pause. There you go.
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[Angel] Whoo!
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[Antoni] Y'all ready to lift?
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Never been more ready
to lift weights in my life.
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Work!
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Angel!
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Look at this weight you're pulling, queen.
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[Angel] Hi!
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-It's a pleasure to meet you, my gosh.
-[Karamo] Hi, Angel.
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-Nice to meet you. How are you?
-[Angel] I'm sweaty, I'm so sorry.
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Don't apologize.
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Gorgeous. Oh, my gosh. This is so gorg.
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How much were you just doing?
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That's like 250.
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I think Antoni could do it.
Antoni's feeling personally challenged.
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-[Karamo] Antoni's our strong one.
-Got the right footwear for it.
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Oh, my--
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Squeeze that ass, Antoni.
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-There you go.
-Oh, you got it!
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[all cheering]
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-One's enough.
-[Tan laughing]
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Holy crap!
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-That was extremely impressive.
-[Angel] That was really impressive.
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You're impressive.
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-[laughing]
-Wow. I struggled to do one.
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And, like, my back is sore.
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Angel's deadlift is more than two Antonis.
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She's a powerful woman.
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Is this actually a queer gym?
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Yes. Queer women owned, queen women ran.
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[Karamo] Wow.
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-[shouts]
-[laughing]
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Yay!
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-You're just showing off at this point.
-Two more.
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-Low.
-Two.
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If you held this in front of me,
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-I would really just keep coming for it.
-Keep coming for it!
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-[both] I just want the donut, please.
-[Jonathan laughs]
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[Karamo] You've become her mentor.
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-Yeah, uh…
-What's that been like?
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She's something special.
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-She needs to understand that.
-[Karamo] Yeah.
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And I just want her
to see herself as beautiful.
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-Yeah.
-Because Angel has no clue who she is.
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[Tan] Angel, we love seeing your space,
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but we wanna see your home.
We wanna meet Katia.
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-So can you take us, show us the way?
-Let's go.
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-Let's go. Thank you, everyone!
-[crowd cheering]
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[Tan] Angel, when you were a kid,
was this the goal,
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to be an Olympic athlete,
or is this a new thing?
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I've been playing sports
since I was, like, seven.
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My dad put me through every
single one of those sports growing up,
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soccer, baseball, everything.
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I sucked at every single one of 'em,
except football.
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Like, my dad made sure to tell me,
like, "You are playing all these sports."
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Like, even if I was just sitting
on the field playing with the flowers,
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it was always, like,
"I'm trying to make him proud."
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And then I became a teenager,
and all of a sudden,
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I'm second team all-district football,
and I'm, like, really, really good.
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And then through UT, I joined
the Olympic weightlifting team there,
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and that's where I found
my dream of like, "Oh, athletics."
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-Yeah.
-Okay.
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[Tan] How long have you
lived in this neighborhood?
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[Angel] Um, let's see.
About a month and a half.
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-[Tan] You're really new.
-[Angel] We just moved in.
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-[Antoni] Love these little plants.
-[Bobby] Right?
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-[Karamo laughs]
-Our little plant friends.
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-Come into my home.
-Home!
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[Tan] It's a great space.
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[Angel] Yeah, it's really, really nice.
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She's lacking personality,
but you've only been here a month.
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And you got butt plugs already?
That is cute.
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-What is this for?
-Your feet.
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Angel is young. Angel is 22,
and this is her first proper home.
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This place is a mess.
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It is definitely looking very student-y.
But she's no longer a student.
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Workout gear.
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Workout gear.
We've got athleisure covered.
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Ooh, there's a nice little fireplace
behind here.
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-Put your finger in here.
-Oh, God.
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-Are you gonna Julia Roberts me?
-[Antoni] Oh!
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[mock laughter]
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-[Jonathan] Can I?
-You remember the Julia Roberts thing?
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[guffawing]
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-Whoa!
-[Angel] Yep. Those come off.
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-Those come off. They are hella broken.
-We'll fix that. We'll fix that.
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-I wouldn't mind seeing her in that.
-What about me?
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I love a crop moment.
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-Can you throw that out and I'll keep it?
-Yes, I'll take that for you.
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Whoo! This is really pretty.
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-I actually love this dresser.
-[Angel] Yeah.
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I wish I could do more with it
in terms of, like, decoration,
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but I have no clue
how to decorate anything.
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-Lucky I'm here.
-I guess this is why you're here. [laughs]
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[Antoni] A lot of dirty dishes
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and a dishwasher that is full
and hasn't been turned on yet. Okay.
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Okay. Yes.
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No. [chuckles]
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Ooh. [sighs]
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I know what this is, honey.
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-[ball thuds]
-[sighs]
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Strength sport. Yes, for the medals.
Yes, for already winning awards!
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[Jonathan] You're in a whole new world.
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How do you feel with your confidence
in how you present yourself in the world?
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In the world and in the gym
are two very different things, right?
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But it's weird because they both exist…
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-In the world?
-In the world.
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[laughs] Um…
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In the gym, I feel like I'm
the most confident person in the room.
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Outside of the gym,
you'll probably find me doing this a lot
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and, like, holding myself like this
and just like…
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-"Don't look at me."
-The body language.
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So, we just have to figure out
how to get you into your gym energy.
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And so in that way,
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I think that, you know, hair and makeup,
we can use as a tool, if it helps.
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I did a full face once,
and it was a, like, whole panic attack.
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I, like, don't self-care.
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Like, I have never had a nail day.
I've never had, like, a mani/ped--
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I've never done any of that.
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I would challenge you to rethink
how you think about self-care,
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because you actually do
do self-care in the gym.
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You do a lot of stuff that brings you joy,
but we just need to diversify.
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'Cause if you're only, like,
going into the one joy road, honey,
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if that joy road
has to get shut down for repairs,
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what else road are you gonna take?
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So, we just gotta
teach you some new routes.
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Yeah. Definitely.
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[Tan] There were things
that made me think,
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"Okay, you've been exploring."
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-Crop?
-I wore it, like, once.
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I didn't know what to pair it with,
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and, like, the one time I wore it
I was like, "Ah, it didn't feel right."
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[Tan] This closet seems very sporty,
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and I don't see you in your closet.
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I… I don't know. Like, I've never--
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I haven't pinned down my style yet.
I haven't pinned down Angel's style.
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Okay.
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I've always, like,
really liked grungy, like, '90s rock.
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The ripped jeans and the fishnets.
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But, like,
I have no idea what looks good on me.
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If I were passing you on the street
and I'd never met you
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and you were to walk past me
in your favorite outfit,
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what do you want me to think?
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I would like to feel, like, sexy.
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-Great. That's what I wanna know.
-Yeah.
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-I would love to feel sexy.
-Okay.
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[laughs] 'Cause I definitely don't
feel sexy most of the time.
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I don't know how to highlight the feminine
parts of my body. 'Cause I lift…
236
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,204
-That's your job.
-I'm an athlete. Like, that's what I do.
237
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,499
And so you wanna find a way
to balance the person that you are at work
238
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,000
and the person you are inside.
239
00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:26,627
One hundred percent.
240
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:28,921
[Antoni] Was food important growing up?
241
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,840
-[Angel] Like, I was always eating.
-[Antoni] Who made food? Mom or Dad?
242
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:33,592
-My mom cooked everything.
-[Antoni] Really?
243
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,886
Uh, my dad would barbecue,
like, once a week, probably.
244
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,763
-But my mom was, like, the--
-Such a dad.
245
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,431
I know, right? [laughs]
246
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,766
But it was always good, though.
247
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,268
Let's not get it twisted.
His barbecue was great.
248
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:46,230
But my mom cooking, like, day to day,
week to week, was very, very nice.
249
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,232
What would she make
that would get you excited?
250
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,484
Everything. Her father, he's Filipino.
251
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,278
-So there's Filipino influences there.
-[gasps]
252
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:57,366
She would come in here and make pansit.
I'm sure I'm butchering that.
253
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,077
Don't look at me like I speak Tagalog,
because I do not.
254
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,078
[laughs]
255
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,665
-[Fab Five] Hi!
-[laughing]
256
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,960
-[Karamo] How you doin'?
-[Bobby] How are you? Great to meet you.
257
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,045
[ominous music playing]
258
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:16,176
[Tan] I'd love a moment
to just chat to you, please.
259
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:22,224
So, you started dating Angel
as a heterosexual relationship.
260
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,142
Correct.
261
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:28,397
As Angel started transitioning,
did you at any point struggle with it?
262
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,315
Uh, yeah, there were definitely times.
263
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,736
I mean, I think at the beginning
it was really, like, kind of rough.
264
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,779
-It was just like, "Is this what I want?"
-Yeah.
265
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,614
That was the self-question
you have to ask.
266
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:41,160
Like, is this something that
I am mentally capable to handle?
267
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,746
But I just--
I love her, and I love her a lot.
268
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:49,001
And, like, to me, like,
that's more important than anything else.
269
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,044
-I'm gonna high five you real quick.
-[laughs]
270
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:53,547
[Tan laughs] That's what I was hoping
you were gonna say.
271
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,884
You said you started to transition
when you were 21?
272
00:11:56,967 --> 00:12:00,262
-Yeah, 21.
-How's your family since you started?
273
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,348
My mom and my siblings
have been really, really great.
274
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,517
They took the time to, like, process.
275
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,685
And what about your father?
276
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,397
Because your father was the one
that sort of inspired you
277
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:14,568
and sort of pushed you when it came
to, like, being in the sports arena.
278
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,153
[Angel sighs]
279
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:20,741
I made it my last, like, barrier
280
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,702
to starting hormone therapy
to go and talk to my dad
281
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,496
and say like, "This is what I'm doing
282
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,665
for my health, like, sometimes
I don't wanna be here anymore."
283
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:32,336
And we haven't spoken
since that conversation.
284
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,339
Last Thanksgiving and last Christmas,
he just didn't show up.
285
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,840
What happened?
286
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,886
Um, he just doesn't understand why.
287
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,472
I don't know, like…
288
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,894
I want him to see, like, that, like,
289
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,063
I'm smiling
this big for the first time in my life.
290
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,943
I'm feeling like I truly am myself,
but there is just one thing missing.
291
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,278
I just want my dad back.
292
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,699
Like, I just want my dad back. I…
293
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,743
He hasn't been here. [chuckles]
294
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:10,624
And I've done a lot of really cool things
since I started transitioning, and…
295
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,211
everybody else
is saying that they're proud of me.
296
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,463
But my dad has just never said that…
297
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:17,381
[Karamo] Yeah.
298
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,967
…like, since I started transitioning.
[sniffles]
299
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,637
Would it be okay with you
if I reached out to him?
300
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,641
So that you can sort of start
that journey maybe to get your dad back?
301
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,518
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
302
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,728
Yeah, I would really like that. [chuckles]
303
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,399
I'm all about facilitating this
conversation between Angel and her father.
304
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,026
He had such an influence on her life,
305
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:41,738
and now that person is gone,
and there's a void there.
306
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:42,656
Hey, babe.
307
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,784
-Cute couple alert. Oh, my gosh!
-[Karamo] I know.
308
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,786
[Tan] Why do you think
this'll be good for Angel?
309
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,205
Uh, I don't know.
I think you guys could help her a lot.
310
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,292
I'm just like you--
I love you, but you need some help.
311
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,085
[laughing]
312
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,505
It's really gonna take
four gay men and my non-binary queen
313
00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,299
to teach me how to be a girl.
314
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:05,178
You know what I have to say? We want to
teach you how to do what you wanna do.
315
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,431
You are a woman. This is girl.
316
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,975
You know how to be feminine.
You know how to feel confident.
317
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,144
We just need
to get you comfortable in that.
318
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,604
-[laughs]
-[Karamo] You ready?
319
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,771
Yes, very much.
320
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,106
-All right.
-Yes!
321
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,399
You can kiss your lady.
322
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,734
-Goodbye.
-[Karamo laughs]
323
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,652
-[pop music playing]
-♪ One, two, three, four ♪
324
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,613
♪ Just a little more ♪
325
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:26,533
♪ I don't need to know
What the future holds… ♪
326
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,160
[Bobby] There are so many things in life
327
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,912
that Angel's trying
to figure out right now,
328
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:34,458
so I wanna help her at least
try to figure out her decor style
329
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:38,128
and make her home somewhere
where she feels welcome and loved.
330
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,796
♪ Let me put your arms around it… ♪
331
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,215
[Jonathan] What I wanna do
with Angel this week is make sure
332
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:45,802
that she knows that she's beautiful,
that she deserves to be confident,
333
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:49,640
that she deserves to be herself
in the world exactly how she is.
334
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,434
[Antoni] I wanna get together
with Angel and her mom
335
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,561
to find out about Angel's life,
336
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:58,440
because I really do think the best
conversations are always around a meal.
337
00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,483
[Tan] Whoo…
338
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,111
Angel is special
because she's so warm,
339
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,447
and it's so clear
that she's spent all these years
340
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,116
living a life that wasn't truly hers,
341
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,577
and so I want
to help her feel like the woman
342
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:13,080
she's always wanted to feel like.
343
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,249
[Karamo] Angel has a great
support system at the gym,
344
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,877
but this week,
I plan on helping her talk to her father
345
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:22,255
because she needs answers from where
her relationship stands with her dad,
346
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,716
but also I want Angel to know
347
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,135
it doesn't matter
who accepts or denies you
348
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:29,763
as long as you accept and love yourself.
349
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:30,931
[pop music playing]
350
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:34,518
♪ There ain't nothing to it
Celebrate your life right now ♪
351
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,605
♪ Yeah, it's yours, celebrate, yeah! ♪
352
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:41,149
♪ Were about to do it, leaving it… ♪
353
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,318
Well, well, well, welcome to Raven Row.
354
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:46,154
-The most gorgeous salon in the world.
-Oh, thank you.
355
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:50,575
Um, hitting us with the gorge-osity
first thing in the morning.
356
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,327
Let's talk about your color.
357
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:54,621
You have some gorgeous,
like, red lights happening.
358
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:57,958
Do you want people to be like, "That's,
like, really natural gorgeous hair color"?
359
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,710
Or do you mind people being like,
360
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,712
"That's got a little kick to it,
but I like it"?
361
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,214
You just made both
of those things sound very, very great.
362
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,134
-And I can't decide.
-I know I did. I felt it as I said that.
363
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:10,178
So maybe it's almost kind of like
a happy medium between those things.
364
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,972
I feel everything I do
is a happy medium, so…
365
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,890
-I love a happy medium.
-[laughs]
366
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:18,228
It's so important that Angel comes
into this process knowing she's complete
367
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,772
and she doesn't need to change for anyone.
368
00:16:20,856 --> 00:16:23,233
However, I'm a beauty expert.
369
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,820
I need to just teach her other ways
that she can practice self-care
370
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:30,365
so that she feels beautiful and confident,
because she's stunning.
371
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,868
I wanted to do your hair first
372
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,078
because I just wanted us to have funsies
373
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:38,749
and have you feeling
confident and thriving.
374
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,459
That would definitely be, like, great.
375
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:44,296
Like, I wish I was the same person, like,
out in the world that I was in the gym.
376
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,924
Like, it's really funny that I've done
all this work to find myself,
377
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:52,054
because, like, it feels like there's still
so much I just don't know about myself.
378
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,681
[Jonathan] Everyone is still
on that same kind of journey.
379
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:55,891
-Yeah.
-Know what I mean?
380
00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:57,434
So, that's okay.
381
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,353
Like, I didn't have any role models
as a kid that I could look up to,
382
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,439
and, like, I never saw a trans person.
383
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:06,359
My only role models were my dad
and then athletes that I would see.
384
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,569
I just didn't feel right.
385
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:11,448
Like, I would, like, spend
whole class days in high school
386
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,242
just, like, mulling, like,
"I don't feel good. I don't feel good."
387
00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:17,120
"Why do I feel so awful all the time?"
388
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:23,001
Then once you'd transitioned and made
that connection, that part relaxed.
389
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:26,046
[Angel] Yeah. I only started HRT,
like, ten months ago.
390
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:28,423
Once I started taking the hormones,
it just disappeared.
391
00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:31,843
How's your family been over the last year?
392
00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:34,471
Uh, like, the majority of my family, like,
393
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,723
went through the steps
of, like, understanding
394
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,601
and learning and educating
themselves and asking me questions.
395
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:40,560
[Jonathan] Mm-hmm.
396
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,646
[Angel] But before
I started transitioning,
397
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,981
I would see them, like,
at least once or twice a month.
398
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,901
But after transition, I literally
just said, "I don't wanna see 'em."
399
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,487
"I don't wanna have to deal with it.
I don't wanna have to, like,
400
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,615
jump through the hoops
of, like, basically forcing them
401
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:58,245
to, like, rewrite everything
that they know about me."
402
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,832
I don't know. Like,
I always just feel like I'm being selfish.
403
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:03,166
[Jonathan] I'd consider this.
404
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,294
Do you think that it's ever been, like,
a cis-het society that was selfish
405
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,172
in making you conform
to something that wasn't your truth,
406
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,676
and now you're just unlearning that?
407
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,887
Because you're not being selfish
for living your truth.
408
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:19,558
And I think that the people who,
you know, love you and are close to you
409
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:22,853
are really gonna wanna see you thrive.
410
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:27,065
And if people can't come to you
with that compassion and patience,
411
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,317
then that relationship
just wasn't meant to be right now.
412
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:30,986
Yeah.
413
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:34,698
Angel is a smart,
hardworking, beautiful woman.
414
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,576
She doesn't need
someone else's validation,
415
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,786
because we can't control other people.
416
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,122
So the first person
and most important person
417
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,916
to come to a place
of acceptance with is yourself.
418
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,586
-I'm so proud of you, girl.
-[laughs]
419
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:51,548
To be 22 and just be where you are,
420
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,342
I hope you stop
to smell those roses sometimes.
421
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:57,012
I don't know, I think
I just lose the roses sometimes.
422
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,848
That's okay.
I think awareness is the first key.
423
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:03,226
I think we're realizing that
we have a little, tiny bit of a deficiency
424
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:07,981
in celebrating how far we've come,
which is not problem-specific to you.
425
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,026
A lot of people struggle with that,
but I'm glad we're catching it at 22.
426
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,611
-Catch-22?
-Yeah.
427
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,362
-[pop music playing]
-♪ I'm feeling pretty ♪
428
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,948
♪ Let me introduce myself ♪
429
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:20,785
♪ Yes, I'm a city girl
I love to show and tell ♪
430
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:24,289
♪ So write this down
We might get down ♪
431
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,918
♪ I'm feeling pretty
Let me introduce myself… ♪
432
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,129
So I wanna just do, like,
a gorgeous, subtle beat.
433
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,257
I have no clue what I'm doing.
434
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,926
I promise you, it's so easy.
435
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,012
[Jonathan] If you can clean and jerk,
I know you can.
436
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,139
[beautician] What we do
wanna add back to the face
437
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,725
is a little bit of color with blush.
438
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:47,479
And I use it, like, where the sun would,
like, burn you, in a sense,
439
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:50,649
because it's a little bit
more flirty and natural to the eye.
440
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,485
[Jonathan] Mm!
441
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,028
Yes!
442
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:58,281
♪ Let me introduce myself ♪
443
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,743
Okay, you ready to see the new Angel?
Three, two, one.
444
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,622
[laughing]
445
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:08,792
Oh, my God!
446
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,461
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
447
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,256
This is great.
448
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,924
[Jonathan] It's pretty, right?
449
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,344
I don't know who this is.
This is somebody else.
450
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,637
[sobs]
451
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,640
I'm not crying. I'm not crying.
I don't wanna ruin the makeup.
452
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,601
It's okay, we'll fix every--
Marisa is right here.
453
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,357
[laughs, sniffles]
454
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:35,986
Wow.
455
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,239
[exhales]
456
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,324
[laughing]
457
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:49,332
-[Jonathan] You look beautiful.
-[laughs]
458
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,084
-[rock music playing]
-♪ We live in heaven ♪
459
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,836
♪ We went through hell ♪
460
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,047
♪ Everybody has a story to tell… ♪
461
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,592
Hi!
462
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,262
-[laughing]
-[Tan] Oh, my gosh, you look beautiful.
463
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,973
-Blown away. Okay, should we shop?
-Let's do that.
464
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,184
[Tan] I wanna know what your
shopping experiences have been
465
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,561
up to this point.
466
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,396
Honestly, I hate shopping in person.
467
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,148
Last week, I walked into a store,
468
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:17,027
and before I knew it,
I'm walking past mirrors in the store,
469
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,403
and I'm seeing my body.
470
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:22,324
And of course, like, a beautiful girl
walks behind me, and, like, I see her,
471
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:26,077
and I'm thinking,
"I will never look like that."
472
00:21:26,161 --> 00:21:29,039
"And I'll never be able to feel
that good and feel that comfortable."
473
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,917
And before I knew it,
I was, like, hyperventilating,
474
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,127
I started crying.
475
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,796
Katia had to grab me and take me
out of the store and be like,
476
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,467
"Are you okay? What's wrong?
What are you feeling?"
477
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,927
And at that point,
I didn't know even what I was feeling.
478
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,804
-Yeah.
-It was just despair.
479
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:47,557
-Yeah.
-And dysphoria. And just awful.
480
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,310
Just looking at this, I want to be like,
481
00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:52,395
"None of this will ever fit me
or look good on me."
482
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,898
And is it because the size of the clothes,
483
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:58,526
or is it because you've never really
experienced this kind of clothing before?
484
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:00,653
-I'm really just clueless.
-Yeah.
485
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,364
The struggle for me has just been like
486
00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:06,117
separating thick
and strong and dense with masculine.
487
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:09,371
But also, like, not having
to lean so far into, like,
488
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,581
the super-bright colors
and the super-femininity
489
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:15,335
and the, like, hyper-femininity that a lot
of trans women are expected to lean into.
490
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:20,215
You can still feel feminine even though
it's not pink, and it's not poofy.
491
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:21,132
Yeah.
492
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:24,511
Masculinity and femininity,
I could not care less about.
493
00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:27,138
However, for Angel,
it's clearly a concern.
494
00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:31,101
And so I want to just find
what makes her feel
495
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,186
a version of herself
that she's never felt before.
496
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,479
-You ready?
-[Angel] Yes.
497
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,856
-Can you come out and show us?
-[Angel] Okay.
498
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,361
[Tan] Tell me how you feel,
what you're thinking.
499
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:43,613
Um, I do not recognize
this girl in the mirror.
500
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,074
-[laughing]
-At all.
501
00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:50,412
This is, um, probably, like, the first,
like, actual dress I've ever tried on.
502
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:52,956
Like, literally just,
like, put a sundress on
503
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,041
and tried it on and said, "Ha ha! No."
504
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:58,044
And I threw it away. Even with all
the strength that I have in these arms,
505
00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:01,131
I'm super insecure
about, like, how big my arms are.
506
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:05,009
But, like, even in this dress,
they look skinnier, and it feels good.
507
00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:08,555
You were saying earlier that you look
at the other girls when you go shopping
508
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:09,848
and you see their curves.
509
00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:11,391
Because of the way it's cut,
510
00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:14,894
it gives you a little,
itty-bitty waist, itty-bitty waist.
511
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:16,396
-[laughs]
-And then hips.
512
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:18,523
It's kind of a trick of the style.
513
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:22,694
Would you feel like, "Okay, I could
wear this dress out somewhere"?
514
00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:26,573
I don't know. I get,
like, super insecure about this roll,
515
00:23:26,656 --> 00:23:30,243
'cause this is,
like, left over from before HRT.
516
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,412
I don't know any woman,
517
00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:36,291
other than maybe
the world's top supermodel,
518
00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:40,044
who doesn't have
that little bit of shape there.
519
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:42,922
There's no more there
than anyone else has.
520
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:43,965
Okay.
521
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,759
I would like you to be kinder
to yourself when you look in the mirror.
522
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,220
Let's see what else we've got.
523
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:51,723
-Angel, my love.
-[Angel] Yes.
524
00:23:51,806 --> 00:23:54,726
Will you, uh, show me
what you're wearing, please?
525
00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:55,685
[Angel] Okay.
526
00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:58,646
[Tan] Tell me how you feel.
527
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,693
Wow. [laughs]
528
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:04,694
This is hot.
529
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,822
-Yeah? Wait. Yay!
-This is, like, everything.
530
00:24:07,906 --> 00:24:10,366
-[laughing]
-[sighs]
531
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,203
Okay, tell me why it's hot.
I know, but I want you to tell me.
532
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:16,498
[Angel] It shows, like, my muscle,
and, like, my figure.
533
00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:19,667
But, like, the loose pants,
like, give me a little bit more curve
534
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:22,587
than, like, I would if I was wearing
completely skin-tight everything.
535
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,214
It accentuates the hips.
536
00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:26,841
The belt is, like, feminine,
but also, like, strong,
537
00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:28,801
and, like, it's really, really nice.
538
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:30,386
The top is just, like, sexy.
539
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,014
Yes, stance.
540
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:34,807
Ooh.
541
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:39,979
You did not move this way
when I saw you yesterday, at all.
542
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,064
[chuckling] Wow.
543
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,316
Wow.
544
00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:48,780
Twelve hours ago,
I could never have seen her there.
545
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,282
This is, like, a dream.
546
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:54,577
[chuckles] Like, I could never have even,
like, dressed myself like this.
547
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:58,331
Like, I had no idea I looked like this.
548
00:24:58,414 --> 00:24:59,874
Ever. [gasps]
549
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:04,420
-I'm gonna get you a tissue. Wait.
-[laughs]
550
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:07,423
[sighs]
551
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:15,014
[Tan] Seeing Angel so blissfully happy
that she finally found herself in clothing
552
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,683
makes me so happy.
553
00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:18,601
I hope that the seed that I planted
554
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:22,564
encourages her to feel
completely comfortable in her own skin,
555
00:25:22,647 --> 00:25:26,317
and will have a knock-on effect
in other areas of her life.
556
00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:29,529
I love every square inch
of what I'm seeing
557
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:32,323
and turning and turning.
558
00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:33,741
[both laughing]
559
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:35,660
-Yes, hair flip.
-[laughing continues]
560
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:37,745
-Thank you.
-Of course.
561
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,581
-Thank you. Thank you.
-No, thank you.
562
00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:42,041
I love that I get to be
your fairy godmother.
563
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:43,960
[rock music playing]
564
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:47,380
♪ Yay, good riddance ♪
565
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:50,550
♪ I will show you how ♪
566
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:53,511
♪ Go the distance… ♪
567
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,055
-[Bobby] Pretty store, eh?
-[Angel] Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.
568
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:57,098
I wanted you here
569
00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:59,601
because end of the week
we have something going on. Which is?
570
00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:01,311
-It's a housewarming party.
-Okay.
571
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:03,146
Have you really entertained before?
572
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,357
At our last apartment, we had, like,
one big party for Katia's birthday.
573
00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:08,067
Um, but outside of that, like,
574
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:11,404
nothing that, like,
I would consider, like, a "party!"
575
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:14,616
I want you to feel at home
like I see your face at your gym.
576
00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:16,618
-[laughs]
-[Bobby] Angel feels safe in the gym.
577
00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:20,747
But there are so many places
where I know she doesn't feel welcome.
578
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:21,748
-Hi.
-[man] Hey.
579
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:22,665
John and Doug.
580
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,208
-Hi.
-And that's Luna.
581
00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:25,126
Luna's so pretty.
582
00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:29,714
So, I wanna take her to this cute,
local store where she can feel safe.
583
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:33,301
[Angel] Literally, like, style
and, like, house design and home design
584
00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:35,887
is something I've never,
ever, ever broached or thought about.
585
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,056
[Bobby] Okay.
As most 22-year-olds haven't.
586
00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:41,267
I know that my husband loves, even
if I don't take them into consideration…
587
00:26:41,351 --> 00:26:43,936
-[laughs]
-He loves for me to hear his opinions.
588
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:46,981
-I asked, actually, Katia to come with us.
-Oh, really?
589
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:48,775
I wanted to make sure that I included her,
590
00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:52,153
because home stuff is a big step,
very much so when you live together.
591
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:54,155
And speaking of, hi.
592
00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:56,949
-[Angel laughs] Hi.
-Hi.
593
00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:59,577
-You look amazing.
-[laughs] Yay!
594
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:02,747
-[Katia] Your shoes!
-[both laughing]
595
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:04,874
I'm like, "Look at you."
596
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,835
-My God! Can I wear these pants too?
-[Bobby] Gonna start stealing clothes.
597
00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:10,129
-Heck yeah.
-[laughing]
598
00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:12,048
I can walk. Look.
599
00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:13,341
[Katia] I'm so proud of you.
600
00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:17,011
-Is this your first major outing in heels?
-[Angel] This is the first time.
601
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,763
-Really?
-[Angel] Success.
602
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:19,764
[Bobby] Amazing.
603
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,809
Although I do like your sofa,
604
00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:26,062
my rule on large pieces in the home,
605
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:30,316
like sofas, beds, dining tables,
do things that are neutral.
606
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:35,029
And then pillows and rugs you can
switch out, depending on how you feel.
607
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:37,573
This is an upgraded version
of the couch that we have right now.
608
00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:38,616
-[Bobby] Yes.
-Yeah.
609
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,369
-Like, this is great.
-[Bobby] Let's explore a little more.
610
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,038
I also know that
your favorite color is green.
611
00:27:44,122 --> 00:27:47,625
So one of the chairs that I thought
would be cute for you, because it's green…
612
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:48,960
-[Angel] Great.
-…is this one.
613
00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:52,422
-She's real solid, she's real comfy…
-But also really soft.
614
00:27:52,505 --> 00:27:54,924
[Bobby] I like it, though,
because it's also three materials.
615
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:57,301
The upholstery, the plastic shell,
616
00:27:57,385 --> 00:28:00,263
which is kind of
like a vintage Eames chair,
617
00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:03,433
and then you've got the metal down here.
So three different materials.
618
00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:05,601
-[Angel] It's really cute.
-[Bobby] It's very unique.
619
00:28:05,685 --> 00:28:07,687
-I do like this one. Really nice.
-[Bobby] See?
620
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,856
I told you we'd find your style.
You have good style.
621
00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:11,733
You have good opinions.
You got good taste.
622
00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:12,692
[laughs]
623
00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:14,777
[emotional music playing]
624
00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:27,415
[man] The whole past year has been tough,
because for 21 years I raised a boy.
625
00:28:27,498 --> 00:28:32,003
I haven't really, truly processed
what my kid is going through.
626
00:28:32,086 --> 00:28:35,757
-Have you ever met anybody who is trans?
-No.
627
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,968
I know nothing about the trans community.
628
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:41,763
Like the big thing,
they're all trying to use restrooms.
629
00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,639
To me, it wasn't a big deal.
630
00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:46,684
But then it directly affected my family.
631
00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:47,935
It came to your house.
632
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:52,774
So, this is something hard for me to
actually take in and move forward with it.
633
00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:56,152
My biggest fear in seeing my kid
634
00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,446
is that exterior that
I have not yet grasped.
635
00:28:58,529 --> 00:29:01,657
And what's the fear? Of, like, seeing--
636
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:04,869
Of not seeing
the child that you have in your mind?
637
00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:05,787
[Jose] Yeah.
638
00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:08,247
[Karamo] But I think sometimes as parents,
639
00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:12,585
you know, we have one image of the life
we think our child is gonna have,
640
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:15,129
and then when that image doesn't happen,
we start to grieve it.
641
00:29:15,213 --> 00:29:16,088
Yeah.
642
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:19,175
But I want you to know that
the image you had for your child
643
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:20,218
is not that far off.
644
00:29:21,135 --> 00:29:24,847
And there's a happiness there,
but Angel misses you.
645
00:29:25,765 --> 00:29:28,476
Angel misses you
more than I think you even know.
646
00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:34,482
[Jose] I… I just kinda wanna know
how that process started.
647
00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:36,192
I guess that's my biggest thing,
648
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:40,446
is where that.. that mindset,
or change of mindset, came from.
649
00:29:41,030 --> 00:29:42,990
[voice breaks]
Because there's a true void…
650
00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:49,288
in my heart that I've been missing.
651
00:29:49,372 --> 00:29:51,374
[rock music playing]
652
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,459
♪ Yeah! ♪
653
00:29:53,543 --> 00:29:56,879
♪ I'm unbreakable
You can't take me down ♪
654
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,673
♪ I'm unbreakable
You can't slow me down ♪
655
00:29:58,756 --> 00:30:01,259
♪ Can't slow me down
You can't slow me… ♪
656
00:30:01,342 --> 00:30:03,177
[Antoni] I'm so excited to make these.
657
00:30:03,261 --> 00:30:06,556
We have soy, rice wine vinegar,
a little bit of sugar,
658
00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:09,642
and sometimes I like to put a bit
of scallion or green onion in as well.
659
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,644
I do that with
scallion pancakes sometimes.
660
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:15,064
-Oh, that sounds good, actually.
-Yummy, salty, sharp.
661
00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:17,942
-Hey.
-Oh, my gosh!
662
00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:20,319
-[Christina] Oh, my gosh!
-[Antoni] I love this.
663
00:30:20,403 --> 00:30:23,614
-Sorry, have a mother/daughter moment.
-[laughs]
664
00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,618
[Antoni] When life is changing
around you so much,
665
00:30:27,702 --> 00:30:29,662
a recipe can kind of bring you back.
666
00:30:30,246 --> 00:30:32,248
-Yeah, it looks good.
-[laughs] Thanks, Mom.
667
00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:36,460
[Antoni] Food does have
this incredible power of nostalgia.
668
00:30:36,544 --> 00:30:39,463
Your face lit up when I started asking you
about, like, food you remember
669
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:40,631
when you were growing up,
670
00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:44,635
and you mentioned Mom made lumpia.
Have you ever made this together?
671
00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:47,763
I don't think we ever made it together.
I haven't eaten it in years.
672
00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:50,057
-In years?
-[Angel] Years. So good.
673
00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:52,810
Especially when she makes it,
like, it's just iconic.
674
00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:55,313
-[Christina] That's a nice thing to say.
-[both laughing]
675
00:30:55,396 --> 00:30:57,648
-[Antoni] Mom is here to teach us today.
-Exactly.
676
00:30:57,732 --> 00:31:01,903
Lumpia are these pretty traditional
Filipino fried spring rolls
677
00:31:01,986 --> 00:31:03,863
that have all kinds
of different fillings in 'em.
678
00:31:03,946 --> 00:31:06,032
A little thing that
I like to do with ground meat,
679
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,658
I just kind of slice through it.
680
00:31:07,742 --> 00:31:11,537
So this helps crumble it a little bit so
that it'll fall apart a little more easily
681
00:31:11,621 --> 00:31:13,497
-once it's in the pan.
-You're not mashing it.
682
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:15,124
-[Antoni] Exactly.
-Oh, my goodness.
683
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,001
[Antoni] Do you wanna cut the cabbage?
684
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:19,170
-I'm already terrified.
-You're already terrified?
685
00:31:19,253 --> 00:31:20,379
I curl my fingers,
686
00:31:20,463 --> 00:31:24,425
and then I use the point
of the knife as kind of my guide.
687
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,135
-Is this thin enough?
-[Christina] Yes.
688
00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:28,888
-Nothing like a mom's approval.
-[laughing]
689
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:31,349
-[Antoni] What's next?
-[Christina] We start the vegetables.
690
00:31:31,432 --> 00:31:34,810
[Antoni] So, we have cabbage,
green onion, the carrots.
691
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,145
Garlic. Soy sauce.
692
00:31:36,729 --> 00:31:38,522
[Antoni] And a little bit of oyster sauce.
693
00:31:38,606 --> 00:31:41,692
We're actually able
to find lumpia wrappers.
694
00:31:41,776 --> 00:31:42,610
[Christina gasps]
695
00:31:42,693 --> 00:31:45,279
You would think I've been
to Chipotle enough to figure this out.
696
00:31:45,363 --> 00:31:49,200
[laughs] And we have egg wash here,
just to let it hold together.
697
00:31:49,951 --> 00:31:51,994
-Boom. Did it.
-Look at that!
698
00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:55,122
I just watch until they're kind of
golden brown on each side.
699
00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:57,500
[Antoni] Angel was telling me how,
when she was growing up,
700
00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:58,709
her dad is the one who, like,
701
00:31:58,793 --> 00:32:01,754
pushed her towards, like,
basically doing every single sport.
702
00:32:03,005 --> 00:32:05,508
It's interesting that now it feels like
703
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:07,718
I'm achieving the things
that he wanted me to achieve,
704
00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:08,928
even when I was younger.
705
00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,514
You know?
Do you remember my last football game?
706
00:32:11,597 --> 00:32:14,392
I came off the field, and I was crying,
and I was, like, weeping,
707
00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:17,103
"My athletic career's over."
708
00:32:17,186 --> 00:32:20,481
And he gave me this big hug,
and he told me he was proud of me, and…
709
00:32:20,564 --> 00:32:22,900
-He's so good at those hugs.
-[Angel] He is really good.
710
00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:25,611
[Christina] I understand
because your last competition,
711
00:32:25,695 --> 00:32:27,154
I was sitting there thinking, like,
712
00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:33,494
"Gosh, I'm here," but knowing, like,
"I'm not who she wants there, really."
713
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:38,541
It's not that he doesn't love you,
or he doesn't--
714
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,876
It's just trying to understand--
You know how he is.
715
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,837
He gets-- He has to come on his own time.
716
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,255
Everybody needs a moment.
717
00:32:44,338 --> 00:32:48,217
Like, the love of my life, like, needed
time to work through it for herself.
718
00:32:48,801 --> 00:32:52,096
We can't simply expect everybody
to just instantly switch.
719
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:56,100
Right. Just because we're ready, we can't
make that assumption of other people.
720
00:32:56,183 --> 00:33:00,438
What brought me to peace is
seeing your face for the first time
721
00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:04,275
after you started transitioning
and the smile.
722
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:08,612
And then just knowing that you're happy.
723
00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:11,032
[Antoni] Angel's mom is so supportive.
724
00:33:11,115 --> 00:33:12,700
She's so vulnerable and open
725
00:33:12,783 --> 00:33:16,245
about what her struggles were
with Angel's transition.
726
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:20,207
But she just sees her kid,
and she wants her to be happy.
727
00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:22,251
That's acceptance right there.
728
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:26,756
He's coming from
a traditional Mexican family,
729
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:30,009
and it was-- you know,
it's one way and that's it.
730
00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:32,511
But I think he's getting there. So…
731
00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:33,971
-[Antoni] Time takes time.
-It does.
732
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:35,014
Time takes time.
733
00:33:35,097 --> 00:33:37,308
It really does. You know?
734
00:33:37,391 --> 00:33:39,894
Speaking of time, I think these are ready.
735
00:33:39,977 --> 00:33:41,896
So, what's going on
at the end of the week?
736
00:33:41,979 --> 00:33:44,982
We're gonna have some friends over
to, like, warm our house,
737
00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,776
since we haven't had that quite yet.
738
00:33:46,859 --> 00:33:49,695
So, it'd be nice to maybe
make this this week.
739
00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:52,406
-[Antoni] Think everyone would enjoy this.
-[Angel] Me too.
740
00:33:57,411 --> 00:33:59,330
Definitely missed that. That is…
741
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,583
childhood right there.
742
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:05,086
[Christina] I'm just really happy
that we got to do this.
743
00:34:05,169 --> 00:34:07,088
-Oh.
-[groans]
744
00:34:07,171 --> 00:34:11,425
-[pop music playing]
-♪ Hey! Na na na na na na na na na ♪
745
00:34:11,509 --> 00:34:15,179
♪ Na na na na na na na na na, hey… ♪
746
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,263
Looking nice.
747
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:19,100
♪ Na na na na na na na na na ♪
748
00:34:19,183 --> 00:34:22,311
♪ Na na na na na na na na na ♪
749
00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:25,439
♪ Na na na na na na na na na… ♪
750
00:34:25,523 --> 00:34:26,899
[Karamo] So tell me. How's it been?
751
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,818
-Amazing.
-You look so good, by the way.
752
00:34:28,901 --> 00:34:32,196
-[laughs] Stunning. Like, my God.
-Thank you. Yesterday was nuts.
753
00:34:32,279 --> 00:34:33,405
Awesome.
754
00:34:33,489 --> 00:34:36,158
Well, I wanted to bring you in
and talk to you because,
755
00:34:36,242 --> 00:34:39,078
you know, one of the things
we talked about was support.
756
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:42,915
You spoke to me very clearly
about you and your father's relationship.
757
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,918
What do you need to feel more confident
when it comes to your family?
758
00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:47,586
Particularly your father?
759
00:34:47,670 --> 00:34:52,800
I think I just need to hear from him
that, like, it's okay for me to be me.
760
00:34:52,883 --> 00:34:57,763
Is it hard to look at me, or is it hard
to wrap his head around what I'm doing?
761
00:34:57,847 --> 00:35:01,892
I think sometimes in our community,
the LGBTQIA community,
762
00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:04,436
a lot of times we feel
the other person has the power.
763
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,438
I don't subscribe
to the word "coming out"
764
00:35:06,522 --> 00:35:08,566
because the act is
actually letting people in.
765
00:35:08,649 --> 00:35:09,483
[Angel] Mm-hmm.
766
00:35:09,567 --> 00:35:10,818
And when you say "coming out,"
767
00:35:10,901 --> 00:35:13,737
you're actually giving the other person
the power to reject or deny you,
768
00:35:13,821 --> 00:35:16,157
and for me, it's like,
"You don't have that power."
769
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:20,953
You are in power to say,
"I'm inviting you into my life again."
770
00:35:21,996 --> 00:35:27,960
I met up with your dad, and I asked,
"Do you want to speak and meet?"
771
00:35:28,043 --> 00:35:30,212
And he said yes.
772
00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:34,592
Do you feel comfortable in me
calling him and inviting here
773
00:35:34,675 --> 00:35:36,177
for you to have a conversation?
774
00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:39,263
-You do?
-Yeah, I do.
775
00:35:39,346 --> 00:35:41,140
[Karamo] This is a moment for Angel.
It's like,
776
00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:44,768
"Either I'm going to love myself
and you come along that journey,
777
00:35:44,852 --> 00:35:46,562
or I might have to lose you."
778
00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:49,982
That is so hard.
779
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:53,027
And I just wanna be here
to support her through all of this.
780
00:35:53,903 --> 00:35:55,279
[knock on door]
781
00:35:59,617 --> 00:36:00,659
-[Karamo] Hey.
-[Jose] Hey.
782
00:36:00,743 --> 00:36:02,369
-[Karamo] Good to see you.
-[Jose] You too.
783
00:36:02,453 --> 00:36:04,121
-How are you?
-[Karamo] I'm good.
784
00:36:12,004 --> 00:36:14,965
[both sobbing]
785
00:36:24,308 --> 00:36:26,310
[sobbing continues]
786
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:38,906
-You been good?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
787
00:36:41,242 --> 00:36:42,993
-Nice kicks.
-Thank you.
788
00:36:43,077 --> 00:36:44,411
[all chuckling]
789
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,874
I… I don't know what to say.
790
00:36:48,958 --> 00:36:51,460
-Yeah, I'm… I'm kind of in the same boat.
-[laughs]
791
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:55,631
It's… It's definitely been a tough year.
792
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,091
-A long year.
-[Jose] Yeah.
793
00:36:57,174 --> 00:37:00,177
-[sniffles]
-[Jose sighs]
794
00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:06,058
What questions, Angel,
do you have that you wanted answered?
795
00:37:08,769 --> 00:37:09,937
[Angel] I just, like…
796
00:37:12,356 --> 00:37:16,527
I just wanted to know, like,
why was it so hard to see me?
797
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:20,698
Did you expect, like,
a massive difference? Like--
798
00:37:20,781 --> 00:37:22,825
Yes. I did.
799
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,410
My biggest fear…
800
00:37:26,328 --> 00:37:27,454
was seeing you.
801
00:37:28,622 --> 00:37:29,999
That was it. [sniffles]
802
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,210
You know, for 21 years I raised a boy.
803
00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:38,007
You know?
It… It felt like I had failed you.
804
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,927
I truly, truly miss you.
805
00:37:42,011 --> 00:37:43,679
Um, I miss having you in my life.
806
00:37:45,472 --> 00:37:50,561
You know, I would like to know what
actually, um, helped you in the process.
807
00:37:51,312 --> 00:37:55,524
Just because I know
we both need each other in our lives.
808
00:37:56,358 --> 00:37:58,319
It was like I never asked the question.
809
00:37:58,402 --> 00:38:00,195
It's like,
if you never broach the subject,
810
00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:01,655
you don't know what the subject is.
811
00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:07,161
And it was just, like, this underlying
feeling of, like, "Something's different."
812
00:38:07,244 --> 00:38:11,373
As much as I hung out and played football
with those guys and that group of boys,
813
00:38:11,457 --> 00:38:13,542
like, I didn't feel like one of them.
814
00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:14,460
Sure.
815
00:38:14,543 --> 00:38:16,920
When I called myself a she
and when I called myself Angel,
816
00:38:17,004 --> 00:38:19,423
like, all the other doubts
about everything else went away.
817
00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:25,804
It's hard to grasp
when… when your child tells you,
818
00:38:25,888 --> 00:38:29,266
you know, something different
from that envisioning that you had,
819
00:38:29,350 --> 00:38:31,810
you know, for your…
for your child to grow up.
820
00:38:32,478 --> 00:38:36,815
But talking to you now,
you sound like the same kid I raised.
821
00:38:36,899 --> 00:38:38,901
[laughing]
822
00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:41,862
When you try to raise a son,
823
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:44,907
our culture's always been,
"Our boys are tough,
824
00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:47,910
and men are men" sort of thing.
They grow up to be men, good men.
825
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:52,122
You know, and that you treat
your… your women as a princess.
826
00:38:52,206 --> 00:38:56,752
That's always been what…
what we were taught, you know?
827
00:38:56,835 --> 00:39:02,091
So, that was always a hard part of--
I just couldn't see you as a her.
828
00:39:02,174 --> 00:39:04,676
-Well, I'm not a damn princess, Dad.
-[laughing]
829
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,720
[Angel] I don't want to be a princess.
830
00:39:06,804 --> 00:39:10,140
Like, I'm still all those qualities
you put out, besides the man part.
831
00:39:10,224 --> 00:39:11,975
Like, that's still me.
832
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:14,311
Everybody keeps telling me, like,
"You work hard."
833
00:39:14,395 --> 00:39:16,063
"You put your nose to the grinder."
834
00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:18,774
Whenever I coach, like,
I… I think about that.
835
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:21,652
-And I wanna be like you, still.
-[laughs]
836
00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:27,408
You wanted me to one day say
that you've made me the man I am?
837
00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:30,202
You've made me the woman I am.
838
00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:36,583
Like, I couldn't do any of the things
that I've done so far, like, without you.
839
00:39:37,668 --> 00:39:42,089
And the entire time I was doing it,
I was just… I wanted my dad, you know?
840
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,299
My thought has just been, like,
841
00:39:44,383 --> 00:39:49,263
if he could see the way I smile now
and how happy I am, the glowing, and…
842
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:53,308
Your mom kept telling me,
"If you could see her, how happy she is."
843
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:54,476
"You'll be happy."
844
00:39:57,688 --> 00:39:59,731
And at the end of the day,
that's all we want.
845
00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:03,026
-I love you.
-I love you too. I love you too.
846
00:40:03,110 --> 00:40:04,862
[Angel sniffling]
847
00:40:07,698 --> 00:40:09,450
Can I give you another hug? [gasps]
848
00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:11,160
[chuckles]
849
00:40:11,243 --> 00:40:12,786
-[slow-tempo music playing]
-[sobbing]
850
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:15,956
♪ Sometimes life can hurt you ♪
851
00:40:18,250 --> 00:40:22,087
♪ Don't ever think that you deserve it ♪
852
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:28,218
♪ 'Cause, my dear, you are perfect ♪
853
00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:33,140
♪ Know that I'm here for you ♪
854
00:40:34,016 --> 00:40:35,142
It's gonna be okay.
855
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:40,939
[pop music playing]
856
00:40:42,524 --> 00:40:46,028
♪ I feel love, I feel love ♪
857
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:49,823
♪ Baby, I feel love, I feel love ♪
858
00:40:49,907 --> 00:40:51,450
♪ Baby, I feel love… ♪
859
00:40:51,533 --> 00:40:54,453
[Karamo] I'd love
a genuine surprise right now.
860
00:40:54,536 --> 00:40:56,246
[Angel laughs]
861
00:40:58,665 --> 00:40:59,666
Come on in.
862
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:02,336
-[Tan and Jonathan] Surprise!
-[laughing]
863
00:41:02,419 --> 00:41:04,421
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God!
864
00:41:09,009 --> 00:41:11,303
-Where am I? This is my home?
-[Bobby] Your house.
865
00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:13,931
-[Angel] What?
-Look at this new fireplace.
866
00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:17,100
New custom marble,
I had this mantle custom made.
867
00:41:17,184 --> 00:41:19,144
[Angel laughs] Oh, my God!
868
00:41:19,228 --> 00:41:21,605
-Sorry, I'm just doing 360 after 360--
-[Antoni] Yeah, do it.
869
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:25,275
-I don't know what to say! [laughs]
-[Jonathan] Yay!
870
00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:26,610
Okay, okay.
871
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:29,863
I am blown away. [laughs]
872
00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:33,325
These are beautiful.
873
00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:34,785
[Jonathan] Yes, texture.
874
00:41:34,868 --> 00:41:37,287
[Bobby] These are all custom built.
I put another one up here.
875
00:41:37,371 --> 00:41:40,082
'Cause I know y'all love plants.
You ready to see the bedroom now?
876
00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:42,626
[laughs]
877
00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:44,753
-Oh, my God!
-[Karamo] Wow!
878
00:41:46,755 --> 00:41:49,967
-Wow.
-[Bobby] This is an adult lady's bedroom.
879
00:41:50,050 --> 00:41:51,760
-[Antoni laughing]
-[Angel] Is that a gong?
880
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:55,597
-[laughs]
-This looks completely different.
881
00:41:55,681 --> 00:41:58,016
-[Bobby] Yeah.
-[splutters] Where am I?
882
00:41:58,100 --> 00:41:59,810
-[laughs]
-[Karamo] This is so gorg.
883
00:41:59,893 --> 00:42:01,019
[Angel] I don't have words.
884
00:42:01,103 --> 00:42:04,940
At all. There are no words in my mouth
right now. Except these, apparently.
885
00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:06,483
-[laughing]
-[Angel] Thank you.
886
00:42:06,567 --> 00:42:07,776
[Karamo] Aww!
887
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,821
-[Bobby] I love you.
-That was so sincere.
888
00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:14,032
[Antoni] Before we get
into the housewarming party and all that.
889
00:42:14,116 --> 00:42:16,076
-How do you feel about the recipe?
-I can do it.
890
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:16,994
-Good.
-I can do it.
891
00:42:17,077 --> 00:42:19,288
-And how do you feel about tonight?
-A little nervous.
892
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:23,125
Everybody's gonna be tasting food
and seeing this wonderful house now,
893
00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:24,293
so, we'll see.
894
00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:25,836
Thank you for all of this.
895
00:42:25,919 --> 00:42:27,713
-[Antoni] Of course.
-[laughs]
896
00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:30,757
[Tan] I'm so excited
to talk about clothes.
897
00:42:30,841 --> 00:42:31,675
Okay.
898
00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:35,178
You will see that
we have packed this closet.
899
00:42:36,930 --> 00:42:38,849
We've got a bunch of skirts,
a bunch of tops.
900
00:42:38,932 --> 00:42:39,933
Skirts, yes!
901
00:42:40,017 --> 00:42:41,226
I got a bunch of crop tops
902
00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:43,979
because they're the kind of things
I know
903
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,689
that you are already comfortable with.
904
00:42:46,398 --> 00:42:47,691
I want you to play.
905
00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:50,193
I want you to come up
with ways that work for you.
906
00:42:50,277 --> 00:42:51,236
Mix and match.
907
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,698
Yes, so, I just wanna do
what we did at the store.
908
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:57,284
-I just wanna play with clothes.
-I would love that.
909
00:42:57,367 --> 00:42:59,661
[in Hindi]
Okay, friends, are you ready?
910
00:42:59,745 --> 00:43:00,621
[all in English] Yeah!
911
00:43:00,704 --> 00:43:03,832
Great! Okay, Angel, my love, come on out.
912
00:43:05,542 --> 00:43:09,046
-[Karamo] Oh, wow!
-[Jonathan] Yes!
913
00:43:09,129 --> 00:43:11,882
[Bobby] Some '90s grunge realness,
sexiness.
914
00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:15,636
-'90s grunge? Like, completely my shit.
-[Antoni] Really?
915
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,929
It's so sexy and gorgeous.
916
00:43:18,013 --> 00:43:21,725
And that is the croppiest top
I've ever seen in my life.
917
00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:23,769
Finally a crop top, Tanny!
918
00:43:23,852 --> 00:43:26,271
-[Tan] Yeah, there you go.
-[cheering]
919
00:43:26,355 --> 00:43:28,732
I just feel amazing. [laughs]
920
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:31,068
-[Antoni] That looks awesome.
-[Tan] One more look.
921
00:43:31,652 --> 00:43:34,112
-Yes, girl, yes!
-Wow.
922
00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:38,116
-Hey!
-Oh!
923
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,786
-[Jonathan] Good to see you.
-[laughs] Hi!
924
00:43:40,869 --> 00:43:43,372
-[Karamo] Isn't this place amazing?
-Wow, yeah!
925
00:43:43,455 --> 00:43:45,040
Isn't your place amazing?
926
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,833
-Hi.
-[Bobby] Hi, baby. Good to see you.
927
00:43:46,917 --> 00:43:49,336
-Okay. Hi, Katia. Hello, my darling.
-[Katia] Hello.
928
00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:52,798
-Are you ready to see your girlfriend?
-I am dying to see my girlfriend.
929
00:43:52,881 --> 00:43:54,049
[Tan] Angel, my love.
930
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,468
-Ah, bitch.
-[Katia laughs]
931
00:43:56,551 --> 00:43:58,970
-Who are you? Oh, my gosh!
-[Karamo] Oh, wow.
932
00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,722
-[Bobby] This is cute.
-[Jonathan] Gorgeous!
933
00:44:00,806 --> 00:44:02,974
-[Karamo] This is stunning.
-[Antoni] Whoa!
934
00:44:03,058 --> 00:44:03,975
There you go.
935
00:44:04,059 --> 00:44:06,687
We're two completely
different aesthetics, but that fine.
936
00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:09,731
-That's okay. That's okay.
-[laughing]
937
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,194
-[Fab Five] Aww!
-[Katia laughing]
938
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:16,822
-[kisses]
-Aww!
939
00:44:16,905 --> 00:44:19,449
-All right, hands off, this is a PG show.
-Back, back, back, back.
940
00:44:19,533 --> 00:44:23,161
-[Antoni] The jewelry and the belt.
-[Tan] The hair, the makeup, the clothes.
941
00:44:23,245 --> 00:44:24,830
-You look incredible.
-[Karamo] You do.
942
00:44:24,913 --> 00:44:26,498
None of you disappoint. [laughs]
943
00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:30,293
I just have to say, wow, wow, wow,
slaying all these looks,
944
00:44:30,377 --> 00:44:32,129
so gorgeous, so stunning.
945
00:44:32,629 --> 00:44:36,091
-Katia, what do you think?
-I'm like, wow. [laughing]
946
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:37,676
We wanted you to be blown away.
947
00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:40,929
We've worked so hard
to make sure that we do all we can
948
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,557
to make you feel as gorgeous as you are.
949
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,393
We all absolutely adore you.
950
00:44:46,476 --> 00:44:48,270
Thank you all for helping me.
951
00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:50,856
Like, there have been so many,
like, amazing moments,
952
00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:52,524
like this moment right here.
953
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:57,696
But to look at myself
and, like, feel beautiful,
954
00:44:57,779 --> 00:45:00,866
not just, like, look in the mirror
and say, "Oh, you look good."
955
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:04,411
Like, no, I feel good, and I feel
like I look beautiful, and I feel sexy.
956
00:45:04,494 --> 00:45:07,831
-Like, that first day did everything.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes!
957
00:45:08,415 --> 00:45:13,253
I will tell you, this week,
to see your growth, um, is exceptional.
958
00:45:13,336 --> 00:45:17,215
And when we get to see
someone in our own community thrive
959
00:45:17,299 --> 00:45:20,927
and recognize how beautiful,
how powerful, how smart they are,
960
00:45:21,011 --> 00:45:22,637
it really feels like a win for all of us.
961
00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:23,930
[Angel chuckles]
962
00:45:24,014 --> 00:45:26,767
I love you, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
963
00:45:26,850 --> 00:45:28,560
Love you so much. Come here.
964
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:30,896
-Come here
-Thank you so much.
965
00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:34,191
Have fun tonight, take a little moment
in the kitchen to breathe.
966
00:45:34,274 --> 00:45:36,651
-And pause and no stress.
-[laughing]
967
00:45:36,735 --> 00:45:38,737
-Look at her!
-[laughing]
968
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:40,197
-[Jonathan] Love you.
-[Tan] Bye!
969
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,158
-Oh, my God, be good. Love you so much.
-[laughing]
970
00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:44,075
[pop music playing]
971
00:45:44,159 --> 00:45:46,995
♪ Like a phoenix from the ash
I was born again ♪
972
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:51,416
♪ Putting my wings to the wind
I'm not weighed down by my past ♪
973
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:54,419
♪ Rose above it and I love it
I was put here to win ♪
974
00:45:54,503 --> 00:45:59,132
[Fab Five] Eleven, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16…
975
00:45:59,216 --> 00:46:00,383
[Karamo shouts]
976
00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:03,345
[Tan] Eighteen, 19, 20, 21--
977
00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:05,222
-That's it?
-[Antoni] I want gummies.
978
00:46:05,305 --> 00:46:08,892
Yay, well done!
Here, you deserve a treat. Come on.
979
00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:11,895
-Let's get this party started.
-Excuse me.
980
00:46:11,978 --> 00:46:13,980
[Antoni and Tan laughing]
981
00:46:14,064 --> 00:46:14,898
Okay, ready?
982
00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:15,816
-Yep.
-[Bobby] Yeah.
983
00:46:17,526 --> 00:46:19,277
[Tan] Her makeup is so good.
984
00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:21,154
-[Karamo] She looks beautiful.
-[Tan] She does.
985
00:46:21,238 --> 00:46:23,281
I love that she kept
wanting to give us cleave.
986
00:46:23,365 --> 00:46:25,826
-Like, great. Love that.
-I also love to give cleave.
987
00:46:25,909 --> 00:46:28,870
-I know. I've noticed.
-If you haven't noticed. Just a bit--
988
00:46:28,954 --> 00:46:31,331
-Can't take my eyes off it.
-Just a subtle bit of cleave.
989
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:33,542
-[Angel] You excited?
-[Katia] I am excited.
990
00:46:33,625 --> 00:46:36,336
-I've never had it before.
-[Angel] I used to eat these growing up.
991
00:46:36,419 --> 00:46:39,422
So it's been a while since I've been able
to thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy them.
992
00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:41,842
So, I'm really excited
to actually start enjoying them.
993
00:46:41,925 --> 00:46:43,176
[Tan] So what's she making, Ant?
994
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,679
So lumpias, this is
a traditional Filipino dish
995
00:46:45,762 --> 00:46:48,014
her mom used to prepare
for her when she was growing up.
996
00:46:48,098 --> 00:46:50,600
And they didn't remember
the last time they had it together.
997
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:51,560
[Katia] Hello.
998
00:46:51,643 --> 00:46:53,562
-Hi.
-[laughing]
999
00:46:53,645 --> 00:46:56,314
-Whoo-hoo! Oh--
-[shouting]
1000
00:46:56,398 --> 00:47:01,027
-Yeah!
-Yeah! Spin, spin, spin, spin!
1001
00:47:01,111 --> 00:47:02,821
God. You know she has the best legs.
1002
00:47:03,405 --> 00:47:06,449
-Look at that back. Do it, do it, yes!
-[laughing]
1003
00:47:06,533 --> 00:47:09,077
-Tell me what you deadlift.
-Oh, just 402, baby girl.
1004
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,912
-[friend] Nothing, just nothing.
-[laughing]
1005
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:13,748
This is probably the first time
they've seen her outside of gym clothes.
1006
00:47:13,832 --> 00:47:15,750
So I feel like
they're really just shocked.
1007
00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:17,586
-I love the hair.
-[Angel] Thank you.
1008
00:47:17,669 --> 00:47:19,671
Oh, you look so cute.
1009
00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:22,090
[Angel] There's lumpia here.
I would like you all to try it.
1010
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,425
-I'm in.
-Yay!
1011
00:47:23,508 --> 00:47:25,385
-Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm…
-[Angel] Okay. Go ahead.
1012
00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:26,678
Do it. Give us the show.
1013
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,764
Give us a little booty shake.
A little bit of booty shake.
1014
00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:31,433
[Fab Five] Whoa! Wow!
1015
00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:34,811
I love that she's even doing her poses
in those clothes. Good for her.
1016
00:47:34,895 --> 00:47:37,898
Just give them, like, a supple
shoulder moment, honey. I love that.
1017
00:47:42,903 --> 00:47:44,237
[exhales] Okay.
1018
00:47:50,660 --> 00:47:52,495
-[Jose] Hey!
-Hi!
1019
00:47:52,579 --> 00:47:56,374
-Oh, my God, you look good.
-[Jose] How are you?
1020
00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:58,627
You look great.
1021
00:47:58,710 --> 00:47:59,836
Hello, Mommy.
1022
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:02,130
You do look so good.
1023
00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:04,925
-Wow. Hi.
-You look-- Oh, my goodness.
1024
00:48:05,008 --> 00:48:06,843
You look great. Great.
1025
00:48:07,594 --> 00:48:11,473
-[Karamo] Oh, look at the family.
-[Fab Five] Aww!
1026
00:48:11,556 --> 00:48:13,516
-[Christina] This is incredible.
-It's fancy.
1027
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,477
I like it, though.
1028
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,771
Don't wanna leave when you're in here.
It's pretty cool.
1029
00:48:17,854 --> 00:48:20,148
[Karamo] Angel not only
has her chosen family,
1030
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:23,485
but she's now reconnected
with her biological family.
1031
00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:26,404
Dad, just, like, a real quick thing
I wanted to show you.
1032
00:48:26,988 --> 00:48:28,323
You didn't come to my comp,
1033
00:48:28,406 --> 00:48:33,161
but this is the first medal
I won as… a girl.
1034
00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:36,206
And, like, it's something
that I really, really earned.
1035
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,376
It's awesome.
1036
00:48:40,001 --> 00:48:41,878
It's awesome. I'm proud of you.
1037
00:48:41,962 --> 00:48:43,046
[Angel] Thank you.
1038
00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:49,386
I'm sorry I wasn't there.
1039
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:50,804
-[Angel] No, it's okay.
-I'm sorry.
1040
00:48:50,887 --> 00:48:53,223
It's okay. We all need a moment. Right?
1041
00:48:53,306 --> 00:48:56,226
And, like, we can take steps now, and…
1042
00:48:57,185 --> 00:48:59,604
Like, thank you.
Thank you for coming to this.
1043
00:48:59,688 --> 00:49:01,731
Yes. You're welcome.
1044
00:49:01,815 --> 00:49:04,150
-[laughs]
-[sobs]
1045
00:49:04,234 --> 00:49:07,487
-[Fab Five] Aww!
-Looks so sweet.
1046
00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:18,707
-[Angel] Hey, Dad.
-[Jose] Hey.
1047
00:49:19,541 --> 00:49:23,086
-[Angel] Welcome to my safe place.
-This is awesome. This is awesome.
1048
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:26,423
We are all worthy
of love, respect and safety,
1049
00:49:26,506 --> 00:49:29,676
no matter how we present ourselves
to the world and how we identify.
1050
00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:32,303
Because everyone really
wants the same things.
1051
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:34,514
They wanna be happy.
They wanna chase their dreams.
1052
00:49:34,597 --> 00:49:35,682
They wanna be who they are.
1053
00:49:35,765 --> 00:49:39,060
And they wanna do that authentically
and connect with their friends and family.
1054
00:49:39,144 --> 00:49:40,353
Three, two, one.
1055
00:49:40,895 --> 00:49:44,315
When you know that they have your back,
like, that stuff's important.
1056
00:49:44,399 --> 00:49:45,400
[Jose] Attagirl.
1057
00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:47,610
-[Angel exhales]
-[Jose] Nice.
1058
00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:49,738
-That's new.
-[laughs] Yeah, it is new.
1059
00:49:49,821 --> 00:49:54,576
"You don't like being around me?
That's your loss, because I love myself."
1060
00:49:54,659 --> 00:50:00,373
Nothing feels better than living
your truth and living your life for you.
1061
00:50:00,457 --> 00:50:02,834
Now, don't miss 115
or I'm gonna be real embarrassed.
1062
00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:04,586
[Jose laughs]
1063
00:50:09,632 --> 00:50:12,969
At different times of the year,
our skin needs different things.
1064
00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:15,972
In the winter, I like to use
more of a cream-based moisturizer.
1065
00:50:16,056 --> 00:50:17,474
It's a bit heavier.
1066
00:50:17,557 --> 00:50:21,019
It really gives your skin
the big drink of water that it needs
1067
00:50:21,102 --> 00:50:22,896
from the cold, dry air.
1068
00:50:22,979 --> 00:50:26,066
For the summer, I like to switch to a gel.
1069
00:50:26,149 --> 00:50:29,152
They're a little bit more lightweight.
It's more readily absorbed.
1070
00:50:29,235 --> 00:50:30,320
Yes.
1071
00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:34,115
Don't waste that extra moisturizer
on your fingertips. Give it to your lips…
1072
00:50:34,866 --> 00:50:36,868
for an extra kiss of moisture.
1073
00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:39,788
-♪ Rise up! ♪
-♪ Like I'm marching through the fire ♪
1074
00:50:39,871 --> 00:50:42,373
-♪ Rise up! ♪
-♪ As the flame's getting higher ♪
1075
00:50:42,457 --> 00:50:44,876
♪ Rise up, now I'm gonna rise up ♪
1076
00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:48,379
-♪ Rise up ♪
-[vocalizing]
1077
00:50:48,463 --> 00:50:51,382
-♪ Rise up! ♪
-♪ Like a phoenix out the fire ♪
1078
00:50:51,466 --> 00:50:54,260
-♪ Rise up! ♪
-♪ Got the strength of a lion ♪
1079
00:50:54,344 --> 00:50:57,555
-♪ Rise up, now I'm gonna rise up ♪
-♪ Rise up! ♪
1080
00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:00,433
[vocalizing]
1081
00:51:00,517 --> 00:51:03,978
♪ Even if you try to take me down
I'm gonna rise up ♪
1082
00:51:06,648 --> 00:51:09,734
-♪ Mm-hmm-hmm! ♪
-♪ Rise up! ♪
1083
00:51:11,152 --> 00:51:14,114
-♪ I'm gonna rise ♪
-♪ Mm-hmm! ♪
1084
00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:15,782
♪ Rise up! ♪
1085
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:20,203
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna rise up ♪
-♪ Mm-hmm-hmm! ♪
1086
00:51:20,286 --> 00:51:22,622
-♪ Rise up! ♪
-♪ Now I'm gonna rise up ♪
1087
00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:25,917
♪ Mm-hmm-hmm! ♪
1088
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:30,004
♪ Breathing deep as I get to the peak
Of the mountaintop ♪
1089
00:51:30,088 --> 00:51:31,631
♪ Mountaintop ♪
1090
00:51:31,714 --> 00:51:35,927
♪ Had a dream I was pulled
By the stars and I couldn't stop ♪
1091
00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:37,720
♪ Couldn't stop ♪
1092
00:51:37,804 --> 00:51:40,807
♪ Thunder and ice looking for life ♪
1093
00:51:40,890 --> 00:51:43,601
♪ Pushing through the clouds ♪
1094
00:51:43,685 --> 00:51:48,273
♪ Keep up the fight
Climbing new heights, never looking down ♪
1095
00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:50,984
♪ I'm gonna rise up! ♪