1 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,981 [Morgan] Let me begin by thanking Sandy 2 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,775 for asking me to come and talk to you tonight. 3 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,361 And while I appreciate the invitation, 4 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:33,408 the only reason I accepted was... Margaret Chen. 5 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,579 See, I figure, if a school can turn out someone like Margaret, 6 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,165 with her instincts and abilities, 7 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,792 her discipline and focus, 8 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,086 it must be a great school. 9 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,213 And it must have a great teacher. 10 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,174 Oh, you're gonna make me cry. 11 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,257 [all laugh] 12 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:55,597 So... what can I tell you about acting 13 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,016 that you haven't already heard from this man? 14 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,188 The best way to find out is to sign up for my MasterClass on acting. 15 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,149 For $90 you'll get 20 lessons 16 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,818 dealing with everything from character development 17 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,739 to auditioning to dealing with directors, voice-over work... 18 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,449 [Sandy] Hey, hang on. Hang on. 19 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,450 [Morgan] What? 20 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,327 [scoffs] What are you doing? 21 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:20,914 I'm telling them about my MasterClass. 22 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:25,543 I also talk about what is expected of you when you walk on a movie set. 23 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:26,836 - [Sandy] Morgan. - What? 24 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,007 Morgan, you can't shill for your course in the middle of my course. 25 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,926 I mean, they pay me to teach them. 26 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:38,389 And you do a wonderful job, Sandy, but... shouldn't they have the opportunity 27 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,309 to get the straight scoop from the horse's mouth? 28 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:46,564 - Are you saying that I'm not the horse? - [Morgan] No, no. You are. 29 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,358 My scoop is not straight? 30 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,068 No. It's very straight. 31 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,529 But... [chuckles] 32 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,988 ...I have a MasterClass. 33 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,449 And this is a master class too. 34 00:01:56,533 --> 00:02:00,787 Not one that has gotten four and a half stars from PC Magazine. 35 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,497 [Sandy] No disrespect, 36 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,958 but just because you've succeeded at something 37 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,584 doesn't mean you can teach it. 38 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:10,130 So, you think someone who has failed at something should teach it? 39 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:14,509 Walter Alston played one game in the major leagues, 40 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:16,636 had one at bat, and he struck out. 41 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:21,933 As the manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, he won four World Series. 42 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,602 So, now you are Walter Alston? 43 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,021 No. I won a Tony. He never won a Tony. 44 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,692 Are you saying you wouldn't want a golf lesson from Tiger Woods? 45 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,653 I'm telling you I would rather get a lesson from his father, 46 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,155 the guy that taught him. 47 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,657 So my years of experience have no value? 48 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:41,578 No, no. I'm just saying success doesn't make you a good teacher. 49 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,872 Being able to instruct, inspire, 50 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,374 and motivate people, that's what makes you a good teacher. 51 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:47,617 [Margaret] I have a question! 52 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,212 Instead of arguing, maybe you guys could do something together? 53 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,047 Maybe some improv? 54 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,926 [chuckles] What do you think we've been doing? 55 00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,180 - [Sandy chuckles] You feel like we got it? - [Morgan] I think so. 56 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,681 And scene. 57 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,764 [all laughing] 58 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,940 [theme music playing] 59 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,529 "Evan Almighty" on three! 60 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,198 - I see me. - Yeah! 61 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,281 [all laughing] 62 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,993 They're all Margaret's friend now. 63 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,870 Yeah. Funny how that works. 64 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:27,749 He's no spring chicken, but he is still doable. 65 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,292 Oh, Mom. [chuckles] 66 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,877 Look at him. 67 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,837 He's like a tall Fudgsicle. 68 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,464 You wanna lick him all over. 69 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,132 You got no filter, do you? 70 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,218 I say what I think. 71 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,638 If others don't like it, they're free to say what they think. 72 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:44,724 - Go ahead. - Ugh! 73 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,226 - [chuckles] - Oh. 74 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,561 - [car horn honks] - That's Martin. I gotta go. 75 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:52,523 - Why didn't he come tonight? - He, uh, had to run an errand. 76 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:56,736 What kind of errand is more important than MasterClass Morgan? 77 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:00,240 - [Mindy] Where are you going? - I'm gonna go find out. 78 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,540 - Morgan, I'll be right back. - [Morgan] Okay. 79 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,617 Ugh, damn. 80 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,119 Come on. 81 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:07,829 [horn honks] 82 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:12,126 Porsche 911 GT3. 83 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,210 I can see. 84 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,505 [engine revving] 85 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,344 - [car door opens] - [Martin chuckles, groans] 86 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,097 - Go ahead. Say it. - [Martin] Yep. I can... Okay. 87 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,015 - No need. - [Martin] Little snug. 88 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,099 [grunts] 89 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:28,892 [groans] 90 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,978 As snug as a bug. 91 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,648 Oh, boy. Oh! Oh! Upsy-daisy! 92 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,733 [chuckles] Okay. I'm okay. Oh! 93 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,069 He does save money on shoes. 94 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,405 [Martin] Whoo! Not a problem. Okay. 95 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,658 Yeah. Just, uh, takes a little getting used to. 96 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:44,741 [taps on car] 97 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,162 [Sandy] Can you believe this? 98 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:52,834 Hundred-thousand-dollar car, in the slow lane, under the speed limit. 99 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,670 It's how drunks drive when there's a cop behind them. 100 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:57,754 I'm sorry. 101 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,882 I feel like this is my doing. 102 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,386 You're not gonna let me off the hook? 103 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,596 Water under the bridge. 104 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,474 [inhales] A ten-million-dollar bridge. 105 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,768 What'd you say to him back there? 106 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:15,273 I said, if he spent one more penny of Mindy's inheritance, I'd kill him. 107 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,482 [laughs] 108 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,567 Very funny. 109 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,569 That's what he said. 110 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,821 If you spend one more penny 111 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,032 of Mindy's inheritance, I'm gonna kill you. 112 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,241 [chuckles] Very funny. 113 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:30,246 You need to know I'm willing to die in prison. 114 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,471 - [chuckles] Sandy, come on. - I mean, I can teach acting anywhere. 115 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,712 Would you feel better knowing it's just a lease? 116 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,631 I told the sales girl I was a retired schoolteacher. 117 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,050 She gave me very favorable terms. 118 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:47,013 I don't care if she dipped that thing in K-Y Jelly and slid it up your ass. 119 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,058 That money was meant to provide a safety net for my kid. 120 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:54,896 Okay, first of all, that's a horrible, vaguely homophobic image. 121 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:58,816 Second of all, relax. You've got nothing to worry about here. 122 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,693 So there won't be any more dumbass purchases? 123 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,695 Well... well... 124 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,448 Don't make me ask. 125 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,367 Okay. Yes. 126 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:12,455 Yes, there was also, additionally, uh, 127 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:17,126 a 100-inch ultra-high-def LED TV screen with a state-of-the-art surround system. 128 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,546 You fucking kidding... Are you kidding me? 129 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,634 You got a tiny little house. Where are you gonna put a 100-inch TV? 130 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,970 In the home theater that I was planning to build in the backyard. 131 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,514 [inhales] 132 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,560 It'll happen in your sleep, you know. You won't wake up. 133 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,687 Okay. Listen, I... I... 134 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:40,566 You know, everything's still in a box. I can return it. 135 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,402 And the home theater? 136 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,154 Haven't even broken ground yet. 137 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,118 Martin, this has to stop now, right now. 138 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,911 Understood. I hear you. 139 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,496 - I mean, do you? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 140 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,933 - There are worse things than murder. - [chuckles] Like what? 141 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:56,958 I can call your mother. 142 00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,739 I don't think you would do that. 143 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,673 Estelle Schneider, Sunrise Village, Scottsdale, Arizona. 144 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,052 - How do you know that? - Asshole, she teaches cha-cha on TikTok. 145 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,849 I do love that you're so protective of Mindy. 146 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,060 - That girl is the best of both of us. - Yeah. 147 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,648 What? Uh, she is. 148 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,817 Oh, I... I agree, uh... 149 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,361 I was just thinking how... 150 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,655 how weird it is to 151 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,199 like you. 152 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,283 [laughs] 153 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:32,617 [both chuckle] 154 00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,620 Oh, well, uh... 155 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:36,747 I like you too. 156 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,249 Really? 157 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,709 Yeah. 158 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:45,381 I'm enjoying, uh, this, uh, time together. 159 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,049 Good. 160 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,302 [chuckles] Who would've figured it? 161 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,346 Oh, the nights I laid awake wishing you dead. 162 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,807 I never wanted that for you. 163 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,769 - No? - Oh, no. Dead is dead. 164 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,813 I wanted you to suffer. 165 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,774 Can you be more specific? 166 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,236 There are these diseases in Central Africa 167 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:12,825 that slowly turn your internal organs into a river of shit. 168 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:14,660 Aw! 169 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:15,786 Mmm. 170 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,789 - But now we, uh... we like each other. - Yeah. 171 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:20,833 [clicks tongue] All is forgiven. 172 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,628 No. Not all. 173 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,590 - No? - Oh, think about it. 174 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,678 Okay, but, uh, we like each other. 175 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,762 Right. 176 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,558 - [laughs] - [blows raspberry, chuckles] 177 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,728 [Martin] I promised your dad I wouldn't buy one, but you still can. 178 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,730 What's wrong with the TV we have? 179 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,107 It's not big. 180 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,901 So what? 181 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,570 Uh, hello. Big movies need big TVs! 182 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,072 Well, hello, no, they don't. 183 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,995 [Martin] Okay, if you're gonna be ridiculous... 184 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:56,202 - [Mindy] Will you keep your voice down? - [Martin] This is how I whisper. 185 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,830 - [Mindy] Why can't you just be happy? - [Martin] I am happy. 186 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,542 I think I've earned the right to enjoy Lawrence of Arabia 187 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,960 in Super Panavision. 188 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,753 [Mindy] What's Super Panavision? 189 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,257 [Martin] Just like Panavision, but it's better. 190 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,340 [Mindy] How? 191 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:14,512 [Martin] What do you mean, "How?" It's super! It's Super Panavision! 192 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,888 [Mindy] I don't know what that... 193 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,975 [Martin]...fantastic vision! 194 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,241 [over voice mail] Sandy, hi, it's Phoebe. 195 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:38,077 I was hoping that you could help me out with something. 196 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,997 [clicks tongue] There's a guy I owe some money to, 197 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,584 and, um, he's getting out of jail on Monday. 198 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,710 - And... - [phone beeps] 199 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,712 Thank you, Norman. 200 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,715 - [phone beeps] - Hey, Sandy, it's Robbie Newlander. 201 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,217 I've been thinking. Instead of 25 million, 202 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,469 - how about 11,600... - [phone beeps] 203 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,557 - [exhales] Thank you, Norman. - [phone beeps] 204 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,560 Hi, Sandy, this is, uh, Barry Levinson calling. 205 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:06,272 We haven't met, but I heard great things about you from Norman Newlander. 206 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,650 I was very sorry to hear about his passing. 207 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:13,154 You know, he was really one of the good guys. 208 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,948 Anyway, I'm about to start casting on a film, 209 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,492 and I'm looking for a new face that's, uh... 210 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,244 Well, it's kind of an old face. 211 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,873 Jesus, I hope that's not as disrespectful as it sounds. 212 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,667 Anyway, this is my cell phone. 213 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,878 Give me a call, and we'll talk, okay? 214 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,254 Thanks. Bye. 215 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,469 Thank you, Norman. 216 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:45,019 All right. We got Jack Daniel's and Diet Dr. Pepper. 217 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,941 [clicks tongue] This is terrific. 218 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,610 [sighs] Thank you! 219 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,861 [both laugh] 220 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:58,157 - Where'd you come up with this concoction? - [sighs deeply] 221 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,240 The truth... 222 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,620 July 4th, 1968. 223 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:06,624 I'm doing acid with Leonard Cohen, and he got crazy thirsty, 224 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,918 so we went rummaging through Lou Reed's kitchen... 225 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,755 Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're tripping with Leonard Cohen 226 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,257 at Lou Reed's place? 227 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,551 - Yeah. A... a... anyway. - [laughs] 228 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:21,514 Cross a bottle of Jack and a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. 229 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,077 So, we start drinkin' 'em separately. 230 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,851 It... it's good. It's good. Nothin' to write home about. 231 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:27,853 And then I realize, 232 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,648 "Hey, man. They're the same color." 233 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,274 [both laugh] 234 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,151 So your minds are blown. 235 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,487 - Cosmic acid epiphany. - [laughing] 236 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,739 We mixed 'em together, took a swallow, 237 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:42,326 and roared like two cavemen who just discovered fire. 238 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,037 - [laughs] - Lenny wanted to write a song about it. 239 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,789 - Lenny wanted to write a song? - Yeah. 240 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,458 - Thankfully, he never followed through. - [chuckles] 241 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:53,587 Otherwise, "Bird on the Wire" would've been "Jack on a Pepper"? 242 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,588 [chuckles] 243 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,673 Not as good. 244 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,175 - Cheers. - Cheers. 245 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,386 - Mmm. - Mmm. 246 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:02,722 [clicks tongue] 247 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,599 Ah. So, enough about why I can't remember the '60s. 248 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,517 Yeah? 249 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,770 Tell me about, uh, you and Norman. Was he your agent? 250 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,815 No, no, no. When I first came out to LA, you know, I didn't know 251 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,109 what I was gonna do, and we ran into one another, 252 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,278 and, over the years, we just stayed in touch. 253 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:20,573 [clicks tongue] You know, Norman was your biggest fan. 254 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:22,615 [chuckles] 255 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,160 Why would I know that? 256 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,035 Never told you? 257 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,080 [inhales deeply] No. 258 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,207 Huh. [groans] 259 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,836 [clicks tongue, inhales] So, Barry, what's... what's your movie about? 260 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,380 [clicks tongue] Well, I've been negotiating 261 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,965 with the Hemingway estate. 262 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,093 [clicks tongue] Finally, I got the rights 263 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,888 to do a remake of The Old Man and the Sea. 264 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,765 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 265 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,688 - And you want me to play the sea? - [chuckles] 266 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,644 - Norman warned me about you. - Sorry. I'm sorry. 267 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:51,604 [Barry laughs] 268 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:55,024 But the sea, uh, is a costar. 269 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,568 Sort of a living entity. 270 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,153 Uh, h... how do you mean? 271 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:03,449 Well, you know, back in the day when Spencer Tracy did the film, 272 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:07,077 you know, the ocean sequences, to be honest with you, looked very fake. 273 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,288 But with the CGI we have nowadays, 274 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,457 we can make that very realistic. 275 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:15,503 So, if you take the marlin sequence, if you take the shark sequence, 276 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,588 they can be really terrifying. 277 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,800 Ev... even with the shitty effects, I remember loving that movie. 278 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,510 Me too. Absolutely. 279 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,001 [clicks tongue, inhales deeply] 280 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,891 [sighs] I... I can't believe I'm negotiating against myself, 281 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,185 but why don't you want a big name? 282 00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:33,270 I mean, De Niro, Pacino, Eastwood? 283 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,731 - Mmm, too familiar. - Turned you down, huh? 284 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,608 Mm-hmm. [chuckles] 285 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,236 - [chuckles] - But I gotta be honest with you. 286 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:43,155 I love the idea, no disrespect, 287 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,533 of going with a complete unknown, 288 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,077 someone the audience has never seen before. 289 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,038 Wait, wait. Hold on. I was Hippie Number Two on Mannix. 290 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:51,956 [laughing] 291 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,291 - Can't forget that, huh? - Cannot forget that. 292 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,672 So, you're actually offering me the part? 293 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:00,755 No audition? 294 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,967 That's right. Let me tell you what happened. 295 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,261 I mentioned this to Norman. 296 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,721 Norman immediately sends me a video 297 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:11,684 of you doing Death of a Salesman at the La Jolla Playhouse. 298 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,229 So, I watch it. I go, "Norman is right." 299 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,481 "This guy is terrific!" 300 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,401 - You'd be perfect for the role. - [sighs] 301 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:29,660 [sighs] I... I don't know what to say. This is... this is just incredible. 302 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,204 Yes, of... of course. 303 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,290 Barry, thank you. 304 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,958 You're gonna be great. 305 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,042 [exhales] 306 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,297 [clicks tongue] Toast. 307 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,381 [clicks tongue] 308 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,801 [sighs] To my biggest fan. 309 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,720 To your biggest fan. 310 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,274 Mmm, the salt? 311 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,943 [chuckles] There's plenty of salt on that. 312 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,070 Well, I need more. 313 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,284 Do I need to explain to you what salt does to your body? 314 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,369 Yeah, why don't you? 315 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,583 All right. It causes the body to hold on to more water, 316 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,418 which raises the blood pressure, 317 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:25,174 which puts more strain on the kidneys, the heart, arteries, and the brain. 318 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:28,093 And, for a man of your age, 319 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,887 is the kiss of death. 320 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,765 - That's pretty scary. - Yes, it is. 321 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,726 - Now, would you please pass me the salt? - [both chuckle] 322 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,191 Thank you. The kiss of death. 323 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,780 - I will not cry at your funeral. - [chuckles] 324 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,657 But you're coming, right? 325 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,992 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 326 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:52,910 Great. 327 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,162 Make sure you sit in the front row 328 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,289 so I can see your crusty mug from my casket. 329 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,375 [chuckles] You asshole. [Sandy laughs] 330 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,792 Hey, that's what you called me in our wedding vows. 331 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,213 Oh, you called me a hot bitch on wheels. 332 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,799 - The look on your mother's face. - [snorts, laughs] 333 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:11,679 - [Sandy] Ah. - I am just loving this. 334 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,430 Loving what? 335 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,184 Watching the two of you act like an old married couple. 336 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,191 - Way to ruin the moment. - Yeah, nice going, Mindy. 337 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,985 - We are not old. - [Mindy] Oh. 338 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,404 May I ask, how... how long were you married? 339 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,698 Fourteen years. 340 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,117 Yeah, hey, wow. That's... that's a long time! 341 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:34,702 Not in a row. 342 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,870 No. I threw him out every so often. 343 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,747 But I kept coming back. 344 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,793 Yes! Begging and pleading for forgiveness. 345 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,253 Forgiveness for what? 346 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,509 Oh. Uh, never mind, never mind. 347 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,177 No, no. That... that's okay. 348 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,388 - Do you mind? - Nah, go ahead. 349 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,471 [clicks tongue] 350 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,641 I was not a good husband. 351 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:01,769 Got it. 352 00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,862 Hey! I... I... I'm still eating. 353 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,280 - Eat shit. - [chuckles] Oh! 354 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,073 Come on. Shit. 355 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:15,784 [all laughing] 356 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,372 Can I share something with you, just between the two of us? 357 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,291 Sure. What's going on? 358 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,335 [sighs] I was just offered a big part in a movie. 359 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,088 What... That's wonderful! 360 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,923 Why... why would you wanna keep it a secret? 361 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,383 Well, it's still early. 362 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,344 You know, don't tell people you're pregnant till the second trimester. 363 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,763 Okay. Okay, I got you. 364 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,100 But it does look like it could be the real thing. 365 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,561 Great director. Decent budget. 366 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:43,896 Nah, thanks. 367 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,982 So, your dressing room wouldn't be a gas station bathroom? 368 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,358 [laughing] 369 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,110 - You remember that? - [laughing] 370 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:52,237 Yeah. No. I might even have my own trailer. 371 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,321 Good! 372 00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,616 I'm happy for you. 373 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,200 Thanks. 374 00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,245 That means a lot, hearing that from you. 375 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,329 Well... [sighs] 376 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,873 Sandy, 377 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,334 I never thought much of you as a human being, 378 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,836 but I never doubted you as an actor. 379 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,420 [snorts] 380 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,216 Oh, I remember the first time I ever saw you on stage. 381 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,343 I was absolutely smitten. 382 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,761 Shakespeare in the Park? 383 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,097 Othello in blackface. 384 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,807 [laughs] Oh! 385 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,267 I'd like to say it was a more innocent time, 386 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,103 but it may have just been more stupid. 387 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,187 Yeah. 388 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,189 So, when does this movie start? 389 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,272 Pretty soon. 390 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,901 Oh, good. Then I'll get to see it. 391 00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:33,737 Wha... what does that mean? Of course you're gonna get to see it. 392 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,697 [chuckles] Yeah. Yeah, of course. 393 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,700 I'll tell you something else. [sighs] 394 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,329 As excited as I am, I am, uh, scared to death. 395 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:43,830 Why? 396 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,584 Well, there's a distinct possibility that I might suck. 397 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,878 Oh, please. 398 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,465 You know everything there is to know about acting. 399 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:58,220 How many... how many people have you taught who've gone on to have great careers? 400 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,055 Exactly. I'm an acting coach. 401 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,140 Oh. 402 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,685 Oh, so you're worried that you're gonna prove the old saying, 403 00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,436 "Those who can't do, teach." 404 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,354 Yeah. 405 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:10,357 - That you'll be outed as a fraud. - Yeah. 406 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:15,028 A talentless loser masquerading as a fountain of wisdom. 407 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,780 All true. Please stop. [chuckles] 408 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:17,698 Please stop. 409 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:18,781 [Roz] Yeah. 410 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,367 You know, honey. 411 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,245 You've paid your dues. 412 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:24,872 This is your turn. 413 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,957 Kinda late for my turn. 414 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,208 Well, who says? 415 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,961 I don't know. A voice in my head said it. 416 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:31,879 Ah! 417 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:32,962 You tell 418 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,215 that voice, next time you hear it, 419 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,885 that your ex-wife said, "Go fuck yourself." 420 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262 - [chuckles] Thank you. Thank you. - [laughs] 421 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,472 - Do you mind, we sit a minute? - Yeah. 422 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,308 [groans] 423 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,101 - You okay? - Oh yeah. 424 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,022 Yeah, I'm just, uh, still jet-lagged. [chuckles] 425 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,274 [sighs] 426 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,277 So... [sighs] 427 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,532 ...is this the kind of conversation you would've had with Norman? 428 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,701 Probably. Yeah. 429 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,537 Although he would've ridiculed me more. 430 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,998 - Oh, I can do that. - Oh no, there's no need. 431 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,000 Oh, I know where every one of your buttons are. 432 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:10,918 Yes, you do. 433 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,296 Do you remember when you used to have those panic attacks 434 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,090 whenever we went to Walmart or... or Costco? 435 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,467 Yes, I remember. 436 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,844 But what was that? Some kind of agoraphobia? 437 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,304 I... I... I... I don't know. I... 438 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,350 Too many choices! Too many choices! Get me out of here! 439 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,353 - Okay. All right. You know me well. - [laughs] 440 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:30,937 Boy. 441 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,232 [laughs] You were a mess. 442 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,365 [Sandy] Do you remember when I started crying in Circuit City? 443 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,200 - [both laughing] - [Roz] God! I do. 444 00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,078 - [rousing music playing] - [Sandy grunts] 445 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,414 Don't you... don't you dare. 446 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,498 [grunts] 447 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,670 All right, you... All right. 448 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:56,337 [grunts] 449 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:58,674 [grumbling] 450 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,549 [grunts] 451 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:01,926 [gurgling] 452 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,430 No! 453 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:09,393 You will not deprive me of my victory! 454 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,686 [grunts] 455 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,397 You will not take my fish! 456 00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,234 [in high-pitched voice] Damn you! 457 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,945 Damn you, devils! 458 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:23,907 This fish is mine! Oh, get back! 459 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:25,993 Go back down! 460 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,287 Get back, I tell you! 461 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,621 [people laughing] 462 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,419 [Sandy in high-pitched voice] What is so funny? 463 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,296 - [laughing continues] - [phone rings] 464 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,382 Whose fucking phone is that? 465 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:41,465 [ringing continues] 466 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,885 [Barry] Whose phone is that ringing? 467 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,346 [in high-pitched voice] Ugh! Aflac. 468 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,515 - [phone ringing] - [gasps] 469 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,016 [sighs] 470 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,311 [grunts] 471 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:57,482 Hello? 472 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,318 [Mindy] Something's wrong with Mom. 473 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:00,401 What? 474 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:01,862 What do you mean? 475 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:03,780 What's wrong? 476 00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,158 [Mindy crying] She passed out on the bathroom floor! 477 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,328 Oh, Jesus. Is she conscious now? 478 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:12,372 [Mindy] Barely. Martin's outside waiting for the ambulance. 479 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,916 Okay. All right. I'm leaving now. 480 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,085 I'll meet you at the hospital, all right? 481 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:18,920 [sighs] 482 00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:20,672 [phone beeps] 483 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,840 Oh, God. 484 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,467 [emotional music playing] 485 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,315 - Can I get you anything? - No. 486 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,398 Cup of coffee? 487 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,153 - Sandy, how about you? - About what? 488 00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:46,073 - Would you like a cup of coffee? - Uh, yeah, that'd be nice, thanks. 489 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,156 You got it. 490 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,119 [sighs] 491 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,250 I don't have any money. 492 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,380 Thank you. 493 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:08,762 Who walks around with no money in their pocket? 494 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:10,346 Not now. 495 00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:17,354 Are you the family of Dr. Volander? 496 00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:19,481 Uh, yes, I'm her ex-husband. 497 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,775 - Sorry. That doesn't count. - I'm her daughter. 498 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:22,901 Better. 499 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,903 Were you aware that she has leukemia? 500 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:29,657 No. 501 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:34,454 - [doctor] It's fairly well-advanced. - Uh, but... but treatable, right? 502 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,790 Well, that's a question for a specialist. 503 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,209 All we can do now is give her a transfusion 504 00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:40,877 to increase her red blood cell count. 505 00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:43,296 That's why she had the syncope. 506 00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:46,174 - Syncope? - Loss of consciousness. 507 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,722 You know, your mom's kind of a hero to me. 508 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,307 Really? 509 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:57,894 When I was in med school, she came to talk to us about Doctors Without Borders. 510 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:01,565 After my residency, I spent two years with that organization. 511 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:05,026 Greatest experience of my life. I'm actually thinking of going back. 512 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,988 That's wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. 513 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,991 Yeah, thank you... thank you very much. Thank you. 514 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,327 How did you let a woman like that get away? 515 00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,330 Um... 516 00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,292 - Well, I... - He wasn't a good husband. 517 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,712 [inhales] We're close now, though. We're... we're buddies. 518 00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,258 She's a little groggy, but you can go see her. 519 00:24:28,341 --> 00:24:29,341 Thank you. 520 00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:32,511 Buddies? 521 00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:35,891 Well, we are. 522 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:41,896 [sighs] 523 00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:51,447 [Martin exhales] 524 00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,409 [groans, sighs] 525 00:24:55,785 --> 00:24:56,785 Coffee okay? 526 00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:00,582 I didn't... I didn't know how you take it, so I had to guess. 527 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,459 - Oh, it's fine, thank you. - Okay. 528 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:03,919 Ooh, and I got your change. 529 00:25:05,795 --> 00:25:07,155 - [Sandy] Thank you. - Here you go. 530 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:10,258 I... I... I got a cruller. 531 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:14,887 [groans] 532 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:16,431 Is it just me, 533 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:19,684 or do we spend a disproportionate amount of time in hospitals? 534 00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:20,768 Huh? 535 00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,023 Just... just saying. 536 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:29,528 Ah, hello, baby. 537 00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:30,654 [Mindy] Hi, Mom. 538 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:33,572 [grunts] 539 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:38,369 [sighs] 540 00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,956 He was a bad husband, 541 00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,542 but he gave good head. 542 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:47,337 ["Shambala" by Three Dog Night playing] 543 00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:58,181 All right. 544 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:02,394 ♪ Wash away my troubles ♪ 545 00:26:02,477 --> 00:26:04,271 ♪ Wash away my pain ♪ 546 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:07,065 ♪ With the rain in Shambala ♪ 547 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,943 ♪ Wash away my sorrow ♪ 548 00:26:10,026 --> 00:26:11,945 ♪ Wash away my shame ♪ 549 00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:14,614 ♪ With the rain in Shambala ♪ 550 00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:19,786 ♪ Ah, ooh, yeah ♪ 551 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,205 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 552 00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:26,918 ♪ Ah, ooh, yeah ♪ 553 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,671 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 554 00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,424 ♪ Everyone is helpful ♪ 555 00:26:32,507 --> 00:26:34,301 ♪ Everyone is kind ♪ 556 00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:37,053 ♪ On the road to Shambala ♪ 557 00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,931 ♪ Everyone is lucky ♪ 558 00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,850 ♪ Everyone is so kind ♪ 559 00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:43,810 ♪ On the road to Shambala ♪ 560 00:26:43,893 --> 00:26:44,893 [song fades out]