1
00:00:15,453 --> 00:00:17,194
<i>What makes you think
that Big Daddy</i>

2
00:00:17,288 --> 00:00:18,950
<i>has a lech for you, Maggie?</i>

3
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,952
The way he always drops his eyes

4
00:00:21,042 --> 00:00:23,375
down my body
when I'm talkin' to him.

5
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:25,915
Drops his eyes to my boobs

6
00:00:26,005 --> 00:00:28,042
and then licks his old chops.

7
00:00:29,801 --> 00:00:32,043
That kind of talk
is disgustin'.

8
00:00:32,136 --> 00:00:34,844
Oh, anybody
ever tell you

9
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,968
you're an ass-achin'
puritan, Brick?

10
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,013
I think it's mighty fine
that that old fella

11
00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:43,892
on the doorstep of death
still takes in my shape

12
00:00:43,982 --> 00:00:47,316
with what I think
is deserved appreciation.

13
00:00:48,278 --> 00:00:49,278
And scene.

14
00:00:51,864 --> 00:00:54,026
Oh, wow! Ah.

15
00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:56,407
"Wow" good?
Or "Wow, what a shit show?"

16
00:00:56,494 --> 00:00:59,328
No, "wow" good. I'm, I'm really
impressed with your work.

17
00:00:59,414 --> 00:01:01,280
- Thank you.
- Did I play enough hetero?

18
00:01:01,374 --> 00:01:03,206
I spent all weekend
working on my hetero.

19
00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:05,285
No, I could tell,
but you've gotta keep in mind

20
00:01:05,378 --> 00:01:08,871
that there's a sexual ambiguity
to Brick's character.

21
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,957
I didn't even
think about that.

22
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:13,508
Can we do it again,
but, you know, ambiguously?

23
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,211
Lane, you nailed it.

24
00:01:15,305 --> 00:01:19,299
I could feel the latency
coming off of you in waves.

25
00:01:19,726 --> 00:01:21,262
Aw...

26
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,652
Did you just say nice things

27
00:01:31,738 --> 00:01:33,730
because you kissed me
and then peed in my hedge?

28
00:01:34,157 --> 00:01:37,366
- Oh, God, did you see that?
- No, my son did.

29
00:01:37,452 --> 00:01:38,892
Your stock actually
went up with him.

30
00:01:39,287 --> 00:01:40,949
I am so sorry.

31
00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:42,325
Please, please tell me

32
00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:44,372
you're seeing somebody about,
you know...

33
00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,746
No, I am.
I-I had to get a biopsy

34
00:01:46,836 --> 00:01:48,577
and I'm waiting for the results.

35
00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:50,496
Well, that's gotta be
scary for you.

36
00:01:50,923 --> 00:01:53,961
It would be if I wasn't
in complete denial.

37
00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:55,884
Smart.

38
00:01:55,970 --> 00:01:57,323
Well, I'm glad
you're taking care of it.

39
00:01:57,347 --> 00:01:59,839
Yeah. You want to
go grab some lunch?

40
00:02:00,808 --> 00:02:01,969
Uh, I can't.

41
00:02:02,435 --> 00:02:04,347
I-I wish you'd asked me
earlier.

42
00:02:04,437 --> 00:02:06,429
I-I actually have other plans.

43
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,229
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.

44
00:02:08,691 --> 00:02:09,691
No, don't, don't be.

45
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,392
Maybe some other time?

46
00:02:11,944 --> 00:02:13,310
I would like that.

47
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:15,270
Yeah. Bye.

48
00:02:15,907 --> 00:02:16,943
Bye.

49
00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:24,872
Don't give up, Big Daddy.

50
00:02:28,419 --> 00:02:29,705
Hmm...

51
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,545
Oh, my God.

52
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,255
Oh, Jesus, Eileen.

53
00:02:41,349 --> 00:02:43,466
What am I supposed to do
with all this?

54
00:02:43,559 --> 00:02:45,050
<i>Dad?</i>

55
00:02:45,144 --> 00:02:46,885
- What?
<i>- Where are you?</i>

56
00:02:46,979 --> 00:02:48,936
Your mother's closet.

57
00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:54,730
Wow.

58
00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:58,110
Wow. I hope Neiman Marcus
sent flowers to the funeral.

59
00:02:58,574 --> 00:03:01,863
Her personal shopper came to the
ceremony. Couldn't stop crying.

60
00:03:02,954 --> 00:03:04,786
Hey, um, do you mind
if I borrow the car?

61
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:07,823
I thought your license
was suspended.

62
00:03:08,292 --> 00:03:09,578
In New York,
not here.

63
00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:10,876
Take an Uber.

64
00:03:11,671 --> 00:03:12,832
Then I need
your credit card.

65
00:03:16,801 --> 00:03:18,337
Take a cab.

66
00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:21,921
Thank you.

67
00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:25,512
What are you gonna do
with all this stuff?

68
00:03:26,519 --> 00:03:27,600
I don't know.

69
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:29,978
It's worth a lot of money.

70
00:03:30,523 --> 00:03:32,515
I'm not selling
your mother's clothes.

71
00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:35,275
Well, do you wanna give it
to charity?

72
00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:36,522
I can help you with that.

73
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:39,070
- I can't do that.
- Why not?

74
00:03:39,157 --> 00:03:40,568
I don't wanna drive
down the street

75
00:03:40,658 --> 00:03:42,866
and see some homeless woman
pushing a shopping cart

76
00:03:42,952 --> 00:03:45,786
and wearing a dress your mother
wore to the Golden Globes.

77
00:03:45,872 --> 00:03:47,238
Sure. Okay.

78
00:03:47,331 --> 00:03:50,415
That would be a very awkward
"Who Wore it Better?"

79
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:54,461
Um... Do you mind if
I take this old purse?

80
00:03:54,547 --> 00:03:56,960
That's a Birkin bag.
I know what it's worth.

81
00:03:57,049 --> 00:03:58,540
- Get out.
- I'll bring it back.

82
00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:00,216
Stop staying here!

83
00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:08,471
Oh, Eileen,
you had so much shit.

84
00:04:12,732 --> 00:04:13,732
Jesus!

85
00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:15,227
Did you get
the biopsy results yet?

86
00:04:15,318 --> 00:04:19,278
No, and please don't hover.
It's intrusive.

87
00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:21,650
You didn't know I was out here.

88
00:04:21,741 --> 00:04:25,735
In hindsight. It's, it's
intrusive in hindsight.

89
00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:28,870
Are you supposed to call
the urologist

90
00:04:28,956 --> 00:04:30,156
or is he supposed to call you?

91
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:32,291
Mindy, please. Not now.

92
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:38,501
Jesus.

93
00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:40,674
Why is he going
to a urologist?

94
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,093
None of your business.

95
00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:44,754
You can tell me.

96
00:04:44,847 --> 00:04:47,635
I'm, like, the most discreet
person I know.

97
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:49,967
There's nothing to tell, Lane.
He's fine.

98
00:04:50,061 --> 00:04:52,519
That's what my mother told me
about my father.

99
00:04:52,605 --> 00:04:55,313
He had a massive heart attack
driving me to jazz dance.

100
00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:58,983
Six years old, I had to grab
the wheel and save myself.

101
00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:01,649
It's in my one-man show.
I don't know if you remember.

102
00:05:01,739 --> 00:05:03,230
I do.

103
00:05:03,324 --> 00:05:04,485
It was wonderful.

104
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,153
Aw...

105
00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,119
Okay.

106
00:05:09,455 --> 00:05:11,037
Yeah, this is Sandy Kominsky.

107
00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,490
I wanna talk to Dr. Wexler.

108
00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:15,325
It's concerning my prostate.

109
00:05:16,587 --> 00:05:18,203
That's all you need to know.

110
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,915
Sure, I'll hold.

111
00:05:22,552 --> 00:05:24,544
If I could hold,
it wouldn't be a problem.

112
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:28,593
Come here. I need your opinion.

113
00:05:28,683 --> 00:05:30,595
- Hang on.
- It's important.

114
00:05:30,685 --> 00:05:33,223
- Just give me a minute.
- Who are you talking to?

115
00:05:33,312 --> 00:05:35,178
Trying to get through
to my urologist.

116
00:05:35,273 --> 00:05:37,765
- You mean our urologist.
- All right, sure. Fine.

117
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,816
You had no urologist.
I gave you mine.

118
00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:42,485
Yes, hi.

119
00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:44,007
Okay, well,
as soon as you hear from him

120
00:05:44,031 --> 00:05:45,442
could you have him call me?

121
00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,899
Thank you.

122
00:05:48,578 --> 00:05:51,821
- No results yet.
- Ah. Schrodinger's prostate.

123
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:53,540
What?

124
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:56,458
At the moment, you both do
and do not have cancer.

125
00:05:58,045 --> 00:05:59,707
What a joy you are.

126
00:06:05,303 --> 00:06:07,465
How thick do you like
the turkey cut?

127
00:06:07,555 --> 00:06:10,218
Are you serious?
That's what you needed me for?

128
00:06:10,308 --> 00:06:11,890
I offered to make you
a sandwich.

129
00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:14,935
I'd like to make one
that's pleasing to your palate.

130
00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,762
I like it thin.

131
00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,313
Thank you.

132
00:06:19,942 --> 00:06:21,683
A quarter of a pound of turkey.

133
00:06:21,777 --> 00:06:24,861
Wafer-thin, like a contact lens.

134
00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:31,944
I remember my first biopsy.
It's very unpleasant.

135
00:06:32,038 --> 00:06:34,496
Scissors up your asshole.
It's never good.

136
00:06:34,582 --> 00:06:37,871
Yeah. At least afterwards
when there's blood in your stool

137
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,293
you know where
it's coming from.

138
00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:42,336
Always a joy.

139
00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:43,664
Anything else?

140
00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:46,125
Yes.

141
00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:49,711
In your professional opinion,
what is your finest ham?

142
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:51,137
I don't know.
They're all good.

143
00:06:51,223 --> 00:06:53,556
All right.
Let's put it in story form.

144
00:06:53,643 --> 00:06:56,636
It's your last meal before
you're executed by the state.

145
00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:59,096
What ham do you add
to your turkey sandwich

146
00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:02,183
before they inject you
with a cocktail of death?

147
00:07:03,611 --> 00:07:05,477
Honey-glazed.

148
00:07:05,571 --> 00:07:09,315
Mr. Deli Man, a half a pound
of honey-glazed, please.

149
00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:14,612
I would've bet a million bucks
he would've said Virginia Ham.

150
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:19,958
Did you get something
for Phoebe?

151
00:07:20,044 --> 00:07:22,331
Maybe you didn't notice.
She's on a liquid diet.

152
00:07:22,421 --> 00:07:25,164
Come on, we're here.
Make an effort.

153
00:07:25,257 --> 00:07:26,257
Fine.

154
00:07:27,218 --> 00:07:30,552
Milk Duds,
beef jerky, Bubble Yum.

155
00:07:30,638 --> 00:07:33,176
That's a three-course dinner
for an alcoholic.

156
00:07:40,564 --> 00:07:43,102
- Here.
- Put the chip in the reader.

157
00:07:44,402 --> 00:07:46,985
I-I-I'd rather give it to you.

158
00:07:51,617 --> 00:07:54,655
- That's clever.
- We've outlived swiping.

159
00:07:58,499 --> 00:07:59,831
You can take it out now.

160
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:01,283
Oh, thank you.

161
00:08:04,422 --> 00:08:06,505
I've been thinking a lot
about entropy.

162
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,214
What?

163
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,883
The universe's inclination
to decline into chaos.

164
00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,257
It's the second law
of thermodynamics.

165
00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:16,715
But if you ask me,
it should be number one.

166
00:08:16,809 --> 00:08:20,143
Things are definitely
falling apart.

167
00:08:20,229 --> 00:08:22,721
You know, I wake up every
morning and my first thought is

168
00:08:22,815 --> 00:08:25,102
what part of me
is not working today?

169
00:08:25,192 --> 00:08:27,809
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.

170
00:08:27,903 --> 00:08:32,068
Sometimes when I laugh
real hard, I fart a little.

171
00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:34,302
Oh, please. You're still young.
Wait till you're my age.

172
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:37,285
Every time I sneeze, I hear
rattling around in my hips.

173
00:08:37,371 --> 00:08:40,614
It feels like a foreign object
broken loose.

174
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:44,622
Yeah, we are passengers
on boats slowly sinking.

175
00:08:44,712 --> 00:08:48,080
Your boat is slow? I'm like when
the Titanic was pointing up.

176
00:08:48,174 --> 00:08:49,710
Hm.

177
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,837
I'm just worried
if they take out my prostate

178
00:08:51,927 --> 00:08:53,589
I'm gonna lose my sex drive.

179
00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,759
- You still have a sex drive?
- Yeah.

180
00:08:58,976 --> 00:09:00,808
Uh... I mean, I think I do.

181
00:09:01,145 --> 00:09:03,478
When I was going through
the whole prostate deal

182
00:09:03,564 --> 00:09:06,978
I convinced myself I could
turn things around by Kegeling.

183
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,684
Seriously?

184
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:11,858
It works for women
tightening up their hoo-ha.

185
00:09:11,947 --> 00:09:13,904
- But did it help?
- No.

186
00:09:13,991 --> 00:09:17,860
But it gave my anus confidence,
and that's half the battle.

187
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,624
Are you doing it now?

188
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,326
Yeah.

189
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,082
I'll join you.

190
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:34,209
I wish it made a noise.

191
00:09:34,303 --> 00:09:36,135
Mm. That would be nice.

192
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:38,339
It'd give you
a little feedback loop.

193
00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:45,376
What is that?
That's your Kegel sound?

194
00:09:45,439 --> 00:09:47,055
Mm. Yeah.

195
00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,685
What's yours sound like?

196
00:09:48,776 --> 00:09:50,267
Mine?

197
00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:52,353
The, um...

198
00:09:52,446 --> 00:09:55,154
the thing you hear in between
scenes of "Law & Order."

199
00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,403
Chung-chung! Chung-chung!

200
00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,655
No.

201
00:09:59,745 --> 00:10:01,327
I like mine.

202
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:03,450
Fine. To each his own Kegel.

203
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,199
Words to live by.

204
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:16,794
Turkey thin enough?

205
00:10:18,222 --> 00:10:20,054
Diaphanous.

206
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,349
There's plenty more
on Staten.

207
00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:23,550
Staten?

208
00:10:23,644 --> 00:10:25,556
Sorry.

209
00:10:25,646 --> 00:10:28,229
The island,
Eileen always called it Staten

210
00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:30,147
'cause when we first saw
the place

211
00:10:30,234 --> 00:10:32,396
the realtor told us
it was an island kitchen.

212
00:10:32,486 --> 00:10:34,148
And she'd never heard that
phrase before.

213
00:10:34,238 --> 00:10:36,821
So she said,
"Which island? Staten?"

214
00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:39,278
Anyway, it stuck,
and for years afterwards

215
00:10:39,368 --> 00:10:41,906
we, we'd always say, "Put
the cheese platter on Staten"

216
00:10:41,996 --> 00:10:45,330
or "I left some mail
for you on Staten."

217
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,332
That's nice.

218
00:10:49,086 --> 00:10:52,204
I've been married
three times and, um...

219
00:10:52,298 --> 00:10:55,166
I can't think of, uh,
one pleasant anecdote.

220
00:10:56,719 --> 00:10:58,210
Wait.

221
00:10:58,304 --> 00:11:00,091
No. No.

222
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:05,471
Surprise, surprise,
I gotta take another leak.

223
00:11:05,561 --> 00:11:07,803
Is that somebody
in the pool?

224
00:11:09,773 --> 00:11:11,480
Oh, my God.
It's Phoebe.

225
00:11:12,109 --> 00:11:13,441
Phoebe?

226
00:11:15,112 --> 00:11:16,899
Oh, no!
Phoebe, no!

227
00:11:18,741 --> 00:11:20,277
Phoebe!

228
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:22,780
- What the hell?
- Jesus Christ!

229
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:25,362
- You scared me!
- You scared me!

230
00:11:25,456 --> 00:11:27,664
I thought you were dead.
What were you doing?

231
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:28,957
I was floating.

232
00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:31,251
Who floats face down?

233
00:11:31,337 --> 00:11:35,331
Oh, my God. I can't do anything
right around here!

234
00:11:35,424 --> 00:11:36,585
Come on. Get out.

235
00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,056
What are you doing?

236
00:11:50,105 --> 00:11:52,062
Don't worry about it.

237
00:11:52,691 --> 00:11:54,057
You-you may wanna get out.

238
00:11:59,365 --> 00:12:01,778
- Sandy?
- Yeah, come on in.

239
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:03,859
- Hiya.
- Hiya. What's up?

240
00:12:04,203 --> 00:12:07,321
Two things, first of all,
I wanna thank you again

241
00:12:07,414 --> 00:12:09,497
for helping me through
my <i>Hot Tin</i> scene.

242
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,701
Well, you did nice work, Lane.
You're really making progress.

243
00:12:12,795 --> 00:12:13,876
Aw...

244
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,087
A-a-anything else?

245
00:12:16,173 --> 00:12:19,382
Um, well,
I-I don't mean to pry,

246
00:12:19,468 --> 00:12:23,428
but I just want to make sure
you're okay... pelvically.

247
00:12:23,514 --> 00:12:25,722
Oh, Jesus.

248
00:12:25,808 --> 00:12:28,095
- I'm fine, Lane.
- Good.

249
00:12:28,185 --> 00:12:30,802
But just in case,
there are other therapies

250
00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:33,229
that Western medicine doesn't
want you to know about.

251
00:12:33,315 --> 00:12:35,853
Thank you. I'm very well aware
of what's out there.

252
00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:39,186
In the meantime, I'll be sending
you a healing white light.

253
00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:40,737
I'll look out for that.

254
00:12:40,823 --> 00:12:43,031
Around nine,
ten o'clock tonight

255
00:12:43,117 --> 00:12:44,528
you may feel something.

256
00:12:44,618 --> 00:12:46,826
- That's very kind.
- You gonna be home?

257
00:12:46,912 --> 00:12:48,744
Probably, yeah.

258
00:12:48,831 --> 00:12:51,289
You shouldn't be driving.
It's pretty powerful.

259
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:52,866
Thank you for the heads-up.

260
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:54,785
Okay.

261
00:12:54,878 --> 00:12:56,494
Well, I'm gonna go.

262
00:12:57,715 --> 00:12:59,001
<i>Namaste.</i>

263
00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:06,054
Jesus.

264
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:11,638
Hey, Sandy.

265
00:13:11,729 --> 00:13:13,971
Hello, Lisa. It's Sandy.

266
00:13:14,064 --> 00:13:15,100
Uh, yeah.

267
00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:18,358
So, how you doin'?

268
00:13:18,444 --> 00:13:20,481
Good, and how are you doing?

269
00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:23,609
I'm great. I've just been
thinking about you.

270
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,657
That's nice.

271
00:13:26,744 --> 00:13:28,531
So, um...

272
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,953
You doin' anything?
You gettin' ready to go out?

273
00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:34,115
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.

274
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,793
<i>♪♪ The regular crowd
shuffles in ♪♪</i>

275
00:13:39,048 --> 00:13:40,334
It's "Piano Man."

276
00:13:40,424 --> 00:13:42,165
Yeah, I'm familiar
with the song.

277
00:13:42,259 --> 00:13:45,843
You know, I'm not a stickler for
rules when it comes to dating,

278
00:13:45,929 --> 00:13:48,421
but basic common sense dictates
you don't call a lady

279
00:13:48,515 --> 00:13:50,097
for a date at this time

280
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:52,551
unless you're planning
on paying for the hour.

281
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:54,844
Is Pissboy asking you
for a booty call?

282
00:13:54,938 --> 00:13:56,474
Get out of here!

283
00:13:57,191 --> 00:13:59,729
I'm really sorry.
I did not mean to offend you.

284
00:13:59,818 --> 00:14:01,025
I am not offended.

285
00:14:01,111 --> 00:14:03,023
- So you wanna get together?
- No.

286
00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:05,105
Right. Um...

287
00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:08,317
Okay. I guess
I'll-I'll see you in class.

288
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:09,742
You will.

289
00:14:09,828 --> 00:14:12,036
Good. Uh, you are doing great
work, by the way.

290
00:14:12,122 --> 00:14:13,158
Goodnight, Sandy.

291
00:14:17,461 --> 00:14:18,952
She was offended. Yeah.

292
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,889
- Hello?
- Norman?

293
00:14:31,975 --> 00:14:33,261
Sandy?

294
00:14:33,602 --> 00:14:36,310
What are you up to
this fine evening?

295
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,104
I'm watching <i>Cocoon.</i>

296
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:42,184
The spaceship is taking
the old people into space.

297
00:14:42,277 --> 00:14:44,439
That's the happy ending
for old people.

298
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:46,442
If only it were that easy, huh?

299
00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:49,570
Yeah, I remember seeing this
in the theater 30 years ago

300
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:52,869
but it's a whole different thing
when you're in the demographic.

301
00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:55,663
Listen, I'm going out for a drink.
You wanna join me?

302
00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:57,832
What are you, crazy?
It's ten o'clock.

303
00:14:57,918 --> 00:15:00,126
- So?
- So it's past my bedtime.

304
00:15:00,212 --> 00:15:02,329
I already fell asleep twice.

305
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,506
Suit yourself. I'm goin' stag.

306
00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:07,959
Stag! Listen to you!
Who are you, Peter Lawford?

307
00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:09,510
Oh, fine, you stay home.

308
00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:11,508
you go for a swim
with your daughter.

309
00:15:11,598 --> 00:15:13,555
My daughter does not swim.

310
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:15,554
She floats.

311
00:15:15,644 --> 00:15:16,644
Bye.

312
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,283
Excuse me.

313
00:15:40,377 --> 00:15:42,460
Could I have a, um...

314
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,916
I guess not.

315
00:15:47,801 --> 00:15:49,292
How you doin'?

316
00:15:52,431 --> 00:15:55,890
Be patient. You just need to
find one with daddy issues.

317
00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:57,342
Is that right?

318
00:15:57,436 --> 00:15:58,927
The good news is,
we're in Hollywood,

319
00:15:59,021 --> 00:16:02,139
so all the chicks are fucked up,
one way or another.

320
00:16:02,232 --> 00:16:03,973
Thank you for the tip.

321
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,774
You picked
the right place, though.

322
00:16:05,861 --> 00:16:08,774
Some quality cooze
comes through here.

323
00:16:10,282 --> 00:16:13,446
I'm sorry. Did you say "cooze?"

324
00:16:13,535 --> 00:16:15,652
Oh, I didn't mean to
offend you, Professor.

325
00:16:15,746 --> 00:16:17,282
I meant "snatch."

326
00:16:18,749 --> 00:16:19,956
Excuse me.

327
00:16:20,042 --> 00:16:21,408
You gonna do some blow?

328
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,334
No, I'm gonna do a leak.

329
00:16:26,131 --> 00:16:27,747
Watch out for this guy.

330
00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:30,000
'Cause I'm dangerous.

331
00:16:46,735 --> 00:16:49,068
Enjoy it while it lasts.

332
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,428
All right, I got it. You've got
a functioning prostate.

333
00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,054
Good for you.

334
00:17:30,445 --> 00:17:32,107
Jesus Christ.

335
00:18:02,978 --> 00:18:05,095
Good luck with your AIDS.

336
00:18:20,329 --> 00:18:21,991
Ah, damn it.

337
00:18:27,169 --> 00:18:28,455
Where's your mother's purse?

338
00:18:28,962 --> 00:18:31,670
Wow! Calm down. It's right here.

339
00:18:31,757 --> 00:18:33,714
I told you to leave it alone!

340
00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,838
I was just using it
for the night.

341
00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:37,759
Bullshit! You were gonna
hock it for drugs.

342
00:18:38,847 --> 00:18:41,635
No, I wasn't! Jesus!

343
00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:44,058
You always think
the worst of me.

344
00:18:44,144 --> 00:18:45,931
Because you give me reason!

345
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,314
Fine! I'll use
this fucking purse!

346
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,016
I don't want you
in this house anymore.

347
00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:54,193
Well, then get out of my way!

348
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:59,487
I don't wanna look at you.
I don't wanna talk to you.

349
00:18:59,576 --> 00:19:01,568
If you come back,
I will call the police.

350
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:05,155
Well, don't worry,
because I am not coming back!

351
00:19:05,916 --> 00:19:08,784
After everything we've done
for you, you steal from us?

352
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:10,243
Shame on you!

353
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:23,389
Babysitter porn.

354
00:19:24,393 --> 00:19:26,134
Stepmom porn.

355
00:19:27,854 --> 00:19:30,688
What happened
to just fuckin' the pizza guy?

356
00:19:32,651 --> 00:19:34,768
So many choices...

357
00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:37,194
so little testosterone.

358
00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:43,780
What?

359
00:19:44,955 --> 00:19:46,742
- <i>Did I wake you?</i>
- No.

360
00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:48,948
Am I interrupting anything?

361
00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:53,207
Uh, no, I-I was just thinking
about ordering a pizza.

362
00:19:53,296 --> 00:19:54,878
I kicked
Phoebe out of the house.

363
00:19:55,841 --> 00:19:57,252
Really?

364
00:19:57,342 --> 00:19:59,755
She stole things
from Eileen's closet.

365
00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:03,838
Oh, man. I'm so sorry.

366
00:20:03,932 --> 00:20:05,785
I just wanted to let you know,
in case she called you

367
00:20:05,809 --> 00:20:07,675
looking to borrow money.

368
00:20:07,769 --> 00:20:10,352
Not to worry, I stopped giving
money to drug addicts

369
00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:12,522
when I divorced my third wife.

370
00:20:14,151 --> 00:20:16,518
I still liked her the best.

371
00:20:17,821 --> 00:20:19,232
Okay.

372
00:20:19,322 --> 00:20:21,860
- Goodnight.
- Hang in there, buddy.

373
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,316
Thanks.

374
00:20:26,872 --> 00:20:30,741
Oh, fuck, it's too much work.

375
00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:38,338
Goddamnit!

376
00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:47,557
Well, that's the end of it.
She's gone.

377
00:20:47,642 --> 00:20:48,723
Oh, dear.

378
00:20:51,396 --> 00:20:53,934
What? You always said
we were enabling her.

379
00:20:54,024 --> 00:20:55,811
Well, no more,
if she wants to be a drug-head

380
00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,267
then that's her choice.

381
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,192
She is still our daughter.

382
00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:01,271
She stole your Birkin bag

383
00:21:01,364 --> 00:21:02,800
and your high heels
with the red bottoms.

384
00:21:02,824 --> 00:21:04,531
- Louboutins.
- Whatever.

385
00:21:04,618 --> 00:21:07,031
I just know they cost two grand
and you wore them once.

386
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,907
Twice.

387
00:21:08,997 --> 00:21:10,329
Great, you amortized.

388
00:21:10,415 --> 00:21:13,249
Norman, it's just stuff.

389
00:21:13,335 --> 00:21:15,668
Phoebe needs your help.

390
00:21:15,754 --> 00:21:18,167
You're driving me crazy!

391
00:21:18,256 --> 00:21:21,090
First, she should hit rock bottom,
now she needs help.

392
00:21:21,176 --> 00:21:23,259
You've become very fickle
in death, Eileen.

393
00:21:23,345 --> 00:21:25,257
Very fickle.