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[traditional music plays]
2
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[birds calling]
3
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[monkeys screeching]
4
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[phone rings]
5
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Hello, ex-husband.
6
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Hello, ex-wife. How's it going?
7
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Oh, you know.
8
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Every day without you is a day
filled with sunshine and lollipops.
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Yeah, same here.
10
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Did I ever tell you, after the divorce,
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that my hair stopped falling out?
12
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[chuckles] That's good.
13
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Your hair was the only thing about you
worth saving.
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Mm.
15
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How did I not put a pillow over your head
when I had the chance?
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[laughs]
17
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You didn't have the balls.
What do you want?
18
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Well, something came up with Mindy.
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- Is she all right?
- Yeah, yeah, she's fine.
20
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What's goin' on?
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I'm not sure if you know this or not,
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but your daughter has got herself mixed up
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with a guy that's, like, twice her age.
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Oh, that! Yeah, of course I know.
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Say "Aah."
26
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Say what?
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- Aaah...
- Not talking to you.
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Wait, she told you? When did she tell you?
29
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Oh, I don't know.
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About a year ago.
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You've known about this for a year?
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Did you ever think about telling me?
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Mm... No, never crossed my mind.
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So... what exactly is your concern?
35
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What do you mean, "What is my concern?"
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The guy is, like, an old man.
37
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So are you.
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Never stopped you
from dating younger women.
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This is different.
40
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How so?
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This is my daughter.
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[laughs] Ah!
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You're such a hypocrite.
44
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Tell me something I don't know.
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Have you met him yet?
46
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No, I'm supposed to have dinner
with them tonight.
47
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Well, then, relax. He's a terrific guy.
48
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You've met him?
49
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Uh-huh. Martin Schneider.
50
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Absolutely adores Mindy.
51
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Wait a minute.
52
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You've known about this for a year
and you've met the guy?
53
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Look at you connecting the dots.
54
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See, I can't believe she waited so long
to tell me.
55
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Maybe your daughter doesn't trust you
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with her personal affairs.
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Hey, she trusts me, all right?
We're close. We're closer than ever.
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But she didn't tell you
about her boyfriend.
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Does that hurt?
60
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A little bit. Yeah.
61
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So this does not creep you out at all?
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No. Actually, I'm kind of surprised.
63
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You're being so old-fashioned.
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Hey, I'm not old-fashioned!
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Matter of fact,
a lot of the kids here at my class
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say that I'm very, uh... "woke."
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[laughs] Uh-huh.
68
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That's right. You're talking to a man
who's got no problem
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droppin' a deuce
in a gender-neutral bathroom.
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Oh, thank you for that lovely image.
71
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,546
You're welcome.
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[sighs]
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00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,341
Look, Sandy, you can't control her life.
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All you can do is be there for her
without judgment.
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I know that! You don't think I know that?
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I just don't want my kid
to get hurt.
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If she's not thinking ahead,
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00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:09,189
a couple of years from now,
she'll be changing this guy's diapers.
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Your real concern should be
who's gonna change your diapers.
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Says the woman who pees
when she laughs.
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Your mother warned me not to marry you.
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Said you were a lying, cheating scumbag
just like your old man.
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You are the worst mistake I ever made
in my life.
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Back at you, fucko.
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[speaking Spanish]
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[giggles]
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[whinnying]
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I don't recall him being this big.
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You told me
you were comfortable around horses.
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I'm comfortable betting on them.
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Well, you can't turn back now.
You bought the outfit.
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That's another thing.
This was a fun idea in the store,
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but I look like
Howdy Doody, the later years.
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You look great!
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There's nothing to worry about.
Nancy's a very old and gentle horse.
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00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:03,825
I'm old and gentle.
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See what happens
if you try to climb on my back.
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Seriously, I would bite you.
99
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,667
Well, just give it a try, okay?
100
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- Louis and Vincent will help you up.
- I don't need any help.
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Uh...
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[grunts]
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Oof! Uh...
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[horse snorts]
105
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Lord!
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[horse whinnies]
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Louis, Vincent, a little help.
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[neighing]
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[grunts]
110
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- Now what?
- Just pick up the reins.
111
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And now we go for a nice leisurely ride.
112
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Be sure and put that on my tombstone.
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[chuckles]
Oh, just give her a little kick.
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A kick?
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Yeah, a kick.
116
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- You want me to kick the horse?
- Yeah, I do.
117
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Nancy, I apologize in advance.
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[neighing]
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Aah!
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Is there a turn signal on this thing?
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[Madelyn laughs]
122
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[Norman, in English accent]
I feel compelled
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to check the lower 40 for stray cattle.
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[Madelyn laughs]
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[Norman] It's beautiful.
126
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Yeah.
127
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,384
I'm so glad you made the drive up here.
128
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,053
- Me too.
- Mm.
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Thank you for the invite.
130
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- Can I share something with you?
- Of course.
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My ass is killing me.
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What ass? You don't have an ass.
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What are you talking about?
I happen to have a very substantial booty.
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[laughs]
135
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,116
[sighs]
136
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,642
- Chicken Marsala okay for tonight?
- Hang on, let me just...
137
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,789
Hey, remind me to tell you
about Beta-Sitosterol.
138
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,207
Beta-what?
139
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,251
Sitosterol.
It's a natural prostate supplement.
140
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,213
Uh-huh. And you know about this how?
141
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,006
Well, I...
142
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,676
I told Martin
you were having some problems...
143
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,553
down there, and he recommended it.
144
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,305
Really? So then I assume
145
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,100
that your fella's
got similar problems down there.
146
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,520
Yes, Dad. My fella does.
147
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,355
He swears by the supplement.
148
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,233
Says it really helps him from having
to get up a lot during the night.
149
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,361
Okay. Well, please thank him for me
and I'll look into it.
150
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,405
Or you can thank him yourself.
151
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,823
Sure, but not while we're eating.
152
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,700
That's when we'll talk
about walk-in bathtubs.
153
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,203
By the way, you tell your mother
154
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,705
about your personal life
and you don't tell me.
155
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,915
That hurts my feelings.
156
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,000
- Oh, come on, Dad.
- No, no.
157
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,294
No. That's all I have to say
on the subject.
158
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,049
[Jude] Uh... Gonna need a minute!
159
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:06,716
Hm.
160
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,387
- God damn it!
- Where are you going?
161
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,974
To use that fucking
gender-neutral bathroom at Café Gratitude.
162
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,354
Strange, isn't it?
163
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,232
Well, it's strange and... and wonderful.
164
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,068
It's like no time has passed,
165
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,072
we're just continuing a conversation
that we started 50 years ago.
166
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,658
- Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot...
- What?
167
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,618
The longest ellipsis in history.
168
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,873
[ducks quacking]
169
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,833
In the meantime, you had a good life?
170
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,878
Yeah, very good.
171
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,128
Ah.
172
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,629
And you?
173
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,631
Can't complain.
174
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,637
Well, actually that's not true, um...
175
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,349
Christopher was sick for a very long time.
176
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,937
My Eileen went through the same thing.
177
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,900
I didn't think there was
any more happiness left for me.
178
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,612
I know how you feel.
179
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,202
Some cowboys we are.
180
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,663
Weepin' on the ol' prairie.
181
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,300
So, these ducks. Are they migratory
or do they just live here?
182
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,385
You know, indigenous?
183
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,767
- [Madelyn chuckles]
- I have a question for you.
184
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:38,850
Hm? What?
185
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,940
How am I gonna get back
on that fucking horse?
186
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:54,825
[sighs]
187
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,286
Way to go, Mindy.
Couldn't pick a rich guy.
188
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,545
[doorbell rings]
189
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,629
[sighs]
190
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,259
Sandy, welcome!
191
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:12,843
Hi.
192
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:13,803
Hi!
193
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,722
I'm Martin. Please, come in!
194
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,308
Whew! Nice car.
195
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,228
- Uh... I brought a chardonnay...
- Oh!
196
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,164
- Great, thank you.
- It's from Washington State.
197
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,732
The checkout guy at Trader Joe's
said it's pretty good.
198
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:27,650
Cool.
199
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,403
You ever need a single malt,
I got a bag boy at Costco.
200
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,531
Kid's a bit of an alkie,
but, uh... really knows his stuff.
201
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:34,782
- Cool.
- Yes.
202
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,576
Hey, Dad. Be right there.
203
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,910
Take your time.
204
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,953
Hm.
205
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,832
I like your home. It's, uh...
206
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,125
It's very cozy.
207
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,168
Uh... Thank you. Yeah. Kind of...
208
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,422
Really kinda let it go
in the last couple of years,
209
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,133
but your daughter's really helped me
zhuzh it up again.
210
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,343
- Yes, so the throw pillows...
- Throw pillows, her.
211
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,220
- Candles...
- Candles are mine.
212
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,306
- I make them.
- Oh.
213
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:02,226
I'm an artsy-craftsy kind of guy.
Got a potter's wheel in the garage.
214
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,021
- Ah.
- Hey, you ever need a vase, don't be shy.
215
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,689
That's good to know.
216
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,565
Yeah.
217
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,102
- What do you say we open this sucker up?
- Sounds good.
218
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,197
- [chuckles]
- Okay.
219
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,449
[meowing]
220
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,076
Oh, she brought her cats.
221
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,579
No, actually the...
The big, fat white one is mine.
222
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,122
- Hm.
- Name's Whitey.
223
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,291
I have to be so careful when I call him.
224
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,667
[chuckles]
225
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,961
How long have you been here?
226
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,756
Uh, let's see, rented for a few years
227
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,342
and then bought the place in 1986.
228
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,094
1986. [chuckles]
229
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,680
That was the year Mindy was born.
230
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:42,850
Whew.
231
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,894
- Sorry.
- No, no. Don't be silly.
232
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,480
- It's weird.
- Very weird.
233
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,399
Holy fuck, is it weird.
234
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,609
[snorts]
235
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,695
In all seriousness, Sandy, I...
236
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,073
I wasn't looking for this.
237
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,492
- It just happened.
- Yeah, that's what shit does.
238
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:01,911
It happens. Shit happens.
239
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,538
Mindy actually made the first move.
240
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:09,085
I would never be bold enough
to ask out a woman half my age.
241
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,795
That does take a set of balls.
242
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,464
And not the kind that get all twisted
if you sit funny.
243
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,548
Never, huh?
244
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,302
Just me. Okay. All right.
245
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,555
What's in all the boxes?
246
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,475
Oh! Those are books. I wrote a book.
247
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,310
No kidding? Congratulations.
248
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:27,977
What's it about?
249
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,313
It's a young adult novel
250
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,732
about an awkward teenager
who's hitting puberty
251
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,318
right in the middle
of the Cuban missile crisis, 1962.
252
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,862
Is it autobiographical?
253
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,365
Except for the part
where he sleeps with his cousin.
254
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,991
My cousin, I just felt up a little.
255
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,451
[laughs]
256
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,535
Who published it?
257
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,246
Uh... I did.
258
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,957
- Okay.
- You want one?
259
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,333
Sure, yeah, thank you, yeah.
260
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,086
Take 20. Makes a great stocking stuffer.
261
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,304
- Everybody getting along?
- [Martin] You bet.
262
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,424
Oh, yeah, just great.
263
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,883
Here we go, Sandy.
264
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,279
- Thank you.
- And that's for you, sweetie.
265
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,303
Thank you, honey.
266
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,932
I see you've got a copy
of Autumn for Epstein.
267
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,642
Yeah, I... I got a few.
268
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,146
Hey, you never told me
how the two of you met.
269
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,857
- Oh! [laughs]
- Oh. It was really romantic.
270
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,360
We met at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena
at a book signing.
271
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,778
Nice. For your book?
272
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,197
Uh, no. Uh, Jonathan Franzen.
273
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,741
Oh, yeah, he's a good writer.
274
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:23,616
Okay, he's fine.
275
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,619
- Uh, how about a little toast?
- Oh.
276
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:26,996
Uh...
277
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,789
To my sassy lady.
278
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,416
Sassy? Really?
279
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,169
- What's wrong with sassy?
- Yeah, it's a good word.
280
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,338
Oh. Okay. Yeah, no.
Well, never mind. It's fine.
281
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,256
Sassy.
282
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,676
To my sassy lady,
I love you more than words can say.
283
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,553
- Ugh. You're such a cornball.
- [chuckles]
284
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:43,804
Isn't he a cornball?
285
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,681
I love you too.
286
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,185
And to Sandy, in the words of Rick Blaine,
287
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,270
I hope this is the beginning
288
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,938
- of a beautiful friendship.
- Aww.
289
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,440
Cheers.
290
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,523
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
291
00:12:59,111 --> 00:12:59,945
Hm.
292
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,238
- Huh.
- Who's Rick Blaine?
293
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:02,990
Humphrey Bogart.
294
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,493
Oh. Sure. He's dead, right?
295
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,702
Oh, yeah. Very much so.
296
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,954
- Let's eat.
- Yeah.
297
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,832
So, Martin, I hear you met Mindy's mom.
298
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,250
Oh, yes.
299
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,629
[owl hooting]
300
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,673
Fish okay? Not too dry?
301
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,134
No, everything's delicious. Thank you.
302
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,344
How's the tush?
303
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,720
You know...
304
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,057
I actually think it's angry with me
305
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,101
as if I've betrayed it
by bouncing up and down on Nancy.
306
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,982
Does protocol dictate now
that I inquire about your tush?
307
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,901
Oh... Only if you're concerned.
308
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,820
You know...
309
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,114
I believe I am.
310
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,868
It's fine. Thank you for asking.
311
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,413
Good! Please send my regards.
312
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,836
Maybe you should send them yourself.
313
00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,045
Um...
314
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:00,755
[coughs] I...
315
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,466
- [mumbles]
- Mm.
316
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,177
- Uhhhh... [coughs]
- Hm.
317
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,681
[snorts]
318
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,105
So Mindy tells me
that you recently retired.
319
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,230
Yep.
320
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,068
I taught English and history
in LA's-school system, 38 years.
321
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,737
- Whoa. You must've really loved it.
- You'd think.
322
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,990
Oh... Come on!
323
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,242
One of his students is a state senator.
324
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,954
And another one is a CEO
for a Fortune 500 company.
325
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,123
And don't forget one prize student
326
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,584
currently on death row in Texas.
327
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,752
How is your chicken Marsala?
328
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,462
- It's great!
- It's not too garlicky?
329
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,089
- I like it spicy.
- Me too,
330
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,300
but always seem
to pay the price afterwards.
331
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,385
One Prilosec, two Tums
332
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:49,030
and a pillow that elevates your shoulders
while you're sleeping.
333
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,931
- Really?
- Trust me.
334
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640
[chuckles]
335
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,310
- A-ha!
- Hm.
336
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:58,564
Now what's the deal
with this beta, uh... sister-solay...
337
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,150
Beta-Sitosterol.
It's an over-the-counter supplement.
338
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,570
It's a little sketchy,
but seems to help with the...
339
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,321
Sorry for this.
340
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,158
Emptying the bladder once a night
instead of four times.
341
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,410
- Four times? I wish it was four times.
- [chuckles]
342
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,786
Well, give it a try.
343
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,247
It's that or I sleep
with my ass in a salad bowl.
344
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,041
[Martin laughs]
345
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,044
Well, isn't this nice?
You two have something in common.
346
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,962
- Yeah. We're both fallin' apart.
- [chuckles]
347
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,924
Oh, boy. Remember, uh... Walter Brennan?
348
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,216
- Sure.
- Sometimes,
349
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,677
I look in the mirror
and that... that's who I see.
350
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,346
- "Somebody get the sheriff!"
- [laughs]
351
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,139
"The Dalton Gang's back in town."
352
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,766
Hey, you know who this is?
353
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,769
"Good night, Mrs. Calabash,
wherever you are."
354
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,520
- Ha-ha! Jimmy Durante!
- Bingo!
355
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,688
- Aah!
- [both chuckle]
356
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,659
You don't know
who Jimmy Durante is, do you?
357
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,442
- Is he dead too, or...
- They're all dead.
358
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,568
[Sandy chuckles]
359
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,195
So much in common.
360
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:47,947
Hm!
361
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,324
Okay, well, uh...
362
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,579
Thank you, uh, for...
a really lovely evening.
363
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,289
You are very welcome.
364
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,291
So, yes.
365
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:00,833
Thank you.
366
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,713
[sighs]
367
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:13,597
Well, uh, if you need anything, I'm...
I'm not far. I'm just down the hall.
368
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,098
Okey-dokey.
369
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,142
Anything at all.
370
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,813
Right-o.
371
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,106
[laughs]
372
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,776
Well, good night. [sighs]
373
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,235
Good night.
374
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,702
Fuckin' crazy.
375
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,452
[groans]
376
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,293
Whoa! Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa.
377
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,671
You were actually there
when they won the World Series?
378
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,966
Shea Stadium, October 16th, 1969.
379
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,510
I was sitting in the bleachers
with my dad.
380
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,053
Unbelievable. Miracle Mets!
381
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,388
Greatest day of my life!
382
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,347
[chuckles]
383
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,974
Next to when Mindy was born.
384
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:57,891
Thanks.
385
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,227
Oh, my God. All right, I got one for you.
386
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,812
I was at Woodstock.
387
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,273
- No!
- All four days.
388
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,316
Lot of drugs, a lot of mud.
389
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,650
Remember Hendrix?
390
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,333
- "The Star-Spangled Banner"?
- Of course.
391
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,320
Yeah, I missed it.
392
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,614
I was so high,
I couldn't get out of the Porta-Potty.
393
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,894
- I swear to God.
- [phone buzzes]
394
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,118
Ah! Excuse me.
395
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,079
Sorry, I gotta take this.
396
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,748
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- [laughing]
397
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,876
This is fun, huh?
398
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:25,919
Yeah, what's up?
399
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,005
- [Norman] Sandy.
- Yeah. What's up?
400
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,048
It's Norman.
401
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,966
I got it. What's up?
402
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,385
- I'm in Santa Barbara.
- Okay.
403
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,137
- With Madelyn.
- Keep goin'.
404
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,681
I think she expects me
to have sex with her tonight.
405
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,808
Congratulations!
406
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,352
No, no congratulations!
407
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,898
I haven't had sex
with anybody but Eileen in 46...
408
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,317
no, 47 years!
409
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,652
- [sighs] Norman, we've talked about this.
- [meows]
410
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,905
What do you think... Uh, scratch that.
411
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,116
What do you know
Eileen most wanted for you?
412
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,535
To be happy.
413
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,495
Okay, then.
414
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:03,624
It seems to me that in order
to honor the wishes of your deceased wife,
415
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,668
you have no choice
but to fuck your old girlfriend.
416
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,337
Don't be crude.
417
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,505
Don't be a prig.
418
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,801
What if I can't? Who the hell knows
if the plumbing still works anymore?
419
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,469
It's probably rusted shut.
420
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:18,764
Okay, all... all right.
Well, the plumbing is a different subject.
421
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,223
Now...
422
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,852
Miss Madelyn,
she seems quite fond of you, am I right?
423
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,646
I would say so, yes.
424
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,273
- She's an attractive woman.
- Very.
425
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,819
And I take it, with homes in New York,
in London, in Santa Barbara,
426
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,862
she can be considered quite well-to-do.
427
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,241
Sandy, I would give you a number,
but you would leap to your death.
428
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,868
So, given everything
that we know about Madelyn,
429
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,414
does she need to hunt down
someone like you in order to get laid?
430
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,750
Um...
431
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,170
I would say no, she could probably,
almost certainly do better.
432
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,505
I would agree.
433
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,926
- Still the thought of disappointing her...
- Norman,
434
00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:00,389
uh, you once told me that
the first lesson an agent has to learn
435
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,642
is that
the truth is a good fallback position.
436
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,436
So instead of freaking yourself out,
437
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,647
why not try that with Madelyn?
438
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,817
You mean tell her I'm insecure
about my ability to perform?
439
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,610
What kind of a man tells a woman that?
440
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,948
[sighs] An 80-year-old man
who's at peace with himself,
441
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,783
who's had more than his share of...
442
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:24,163
fornicating and has nothing left to prove.
443
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,249
Good point. What do I have to prove?
444
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,377
You have thrust your dagger enough
for ten men.
445
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,255
It's more of a sword than a dagger.
446
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,381
If you say so.
447
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,633
And it's probably better
than what I was planning.
448
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,717
Which was?
449
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,220
Wait till she's asleep,
then drive out to the desert
450
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,598
where I vanish, never to be seen
or heard from again.
451
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,058
[chuckles] Let's stick a pin in that one,
all right?
452
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,685
Listen, I gotta go.
453
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,646
Wait, wait, wait! How's it going
with the geriatric boyfriend?
454
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,732
I actually like the guy.
455
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,484
Well, that's nice. More than me?
456
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,112
No, you? You'll always be my first love.
457
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,030
Good.
458
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,908
Remember, ride the horse
in the direction it is going.
459
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,618
Already did that.
460
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,578
You know you have to kick it first?
461
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,413
[sighs] Good night, Norman.
462
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,833
I'm confused because I thought
you wanted us to get along.
463
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,961
Yeah. Get along.
Not be bosom fucking buddies.
464
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,839
Okay, you know what? When he comes back,
I'll be a prick to him.
465
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:16,923
Hey, Marty.
466
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,469
You want to blow a joint?
467
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,887
Do I?
468
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,394
[phone ringing]
469
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,490
Norman.
470
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:45,702
It's been a long time since I've been with
anybody other than Eileen, and we had a...
471
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,247
we had a very specific routine worked out.
472
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:50,916
Okay.
473
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:54,419
Also, you know, I'm 80 years old
and there's that.
474
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,263
My darling,
I don't care if anything happens.
475
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,547
I just want to be with you.
476
00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:00,342
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
477
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,055
Norman?
478
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,433
Norman?
479
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,645
Oh!
480
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,608
Is it okay if I sleep
on the right side of the bed?
481
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,693
Uh...
482
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,570
Jeez, I don't know.
That's... That's where I sleep.
483
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,323
Well, you better think it over.
It's kind of a deal breaker.
484
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:25,409
Boy, you drive a hard bargain.
485
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,868
And don't say "hard."
486
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,036
[laughs]
487
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:30,539
I guess I'll try.
488
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,313
- I think I'm gonna cry again.
- [sighs]
489
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,398
- [chuckles]
- Me too.