1
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,756
Norman!

2
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,868
Why didn't you tell me you're doing this?

3
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,149
Saw no reason to bother you.

4
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,986
How can it be a bother?
I... I'm your friend.

5
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,280
I'm sorry.
The next time my wife dies

6
00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:15,825
and I donate her clothes to charity,
I'll be sure to give you a heads-up.

7
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,702
That's all I'm asking.

8
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,122
Just need a signature.

9
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:22,664
Okay.

10
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:27,378
May I say that you and your colleagues
have more than lived up to your name?

11
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:28,962
What?

12
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,341
Goodwill. It was palpable.

13
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,094
[sighs]

14
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:41,935
[sighs]

15
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,269
- Ready?
- Yeah.

16
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,149
What do you know about opium?

17
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,319
Tried it a few times in the '60s,
it's not my thing.

18
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:52,736
Why?

19
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,281
- I'm thinking of becoming an addict.
- Oh, really?

20
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,034
Yeah. Like Dickens or Keats.

21
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,244
Oh, you mean a writer?

22
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,745
No, no, just an addict.

23
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,289
No needles, that's more jazz musician.

24
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:04,791
Good to have goals.

25
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,506
[Norman] I'm looking for a way
to manifest my existential despair.

26
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,093
No offense, uh,
but you're already pretty gloomy.

27
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,886
I think I can do better.

28
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,560
Must've been hard giving her stuff away.

29
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,272
It's harder to keep it.

30
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:31,776
It's... It's only been a few months.
You just gotta hang in there.

31
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,988
"Hang in there." That's funny.

32
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,938
When I wake up in the morning,

33
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,750
I'm not sure if I'm relieved
or disappointed.

34
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:43,997
Do you find yourself losing words
more frequently?

35
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,291
Losing them, how?

36
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,906
Yeah, you're talking to someone

37
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,961
and you need a word
to finish your thought,

38
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,213
a simple word,
nothing out of the ordinary,

39
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,382
- and it's... it's... it's missing.
- [chuckles]

40
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,592
It's just gone.

41
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,343
Oh, yeah, yeah. All the time.

42
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,511
Does it concern you?

43
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,074
[Sandy] So, if it's not in the script,

44
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,641
it's up to you to figure out
what your character was doing

45
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,059
before the scene began.

46
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:06,811
Were you, uh, working?

47
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,313
Were you eating?

48
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,025
Maybe you weren't doing anything at all.
You know, you were just, um...

49
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,444
Uh... You know, you... um...

50
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,069
Masturbating.

51
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,532
- No.
- Trying not to cry.

52
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,410
- No, um...
- Bringing shame upon your family?

53
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,329
- Shoplifting at Sephora?
- No.

54
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,413
- No.
- Cutting yourself?

55
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,664
Jesus, no!

56
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:27,790
Get help.

57
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,251
Why... not masturbating?

58
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,170
Procrastinating!

59
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,466
- What?
- That was the word I couldn't remember.

60
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,343
- So it happens to you?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

61
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:39,844
More than I like to admit.

62
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,767
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

63
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,852
[laughs] It's impossible not to.

64
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,314
I think I fear that worse
than cancer, even, um...

65
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,943
Oh, shit, what's his name? Um...

66
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,128
- [sighs]
- What's whose name?

67
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,278
You know the guy.

68
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,322
- What guy?
- Guy with the... the thing.

69
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,032
- What thing?
- The thing they use to...

70
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,784
you know, to harvest the crops, um...

71
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,744
- A tractor?
- No.

72
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,329
Mexican people?

73
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,509
[Sandy] You know, this is, like, the
fourth funeral I've been to this month.

74
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,970
At our age,
it's called having a social life.

75
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,725
[Sandy] Walter Winchell?

76
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,395
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America,
and all the ships at sea.

77
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,604
Let's go to press.

78
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,690
Nobody ever checks these things.

79
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,318
At Margie Gerber's funeral,
I signed in as Margie Gerber.

80
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,617
The Grim Reaper.

81
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,869
- What?
- It's a scythe, for the crops.

82
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,113
- Keep your voice down.
- Jesus, that was bothering me.

83
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,957
And now it's bothering everybody here.

84
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,457
Sorry.

85
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,543
Shall we?

86
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,301
[Sandy] Bye, Davey. We're gonna miss you.

87
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,474
Every time one of my friends passes away,
I feel like I won a contest, like,

88
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:11,769
- "Ha ha, I lived longer, I beat you."
- That's horrible.

89
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,147
Oh, yeah,
like you don't feel the same way.

90
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,482
I do, but I don't say it
in front of the guy.

91
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,902
He was worth eight figures.

92
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,780
That's a lot of dough
to leave on the table.

93
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,199
Ideally, you want to spend
your last nickel

94
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,617
just before you drop dead.

95
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,121
Then, ideally, I should have died
about three weeks ago.

96
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,041
[Norman] He actually looks pretty good.

97
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,084
Is that a spray tan?

98
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,585
Could be.

99
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,713
I heard with Paulie Doogan,

100
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:41,382
they put the poor bastard's body
in a tanning bed.

101
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,302
Came out looking like a piece of bacon.

102
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,098
Well, we should probably give
our condolences to his wife.

103
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,725
Which one?

104
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,712
I'll take the mother of his children,
you take the... What do you call it?

105
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,071
- Trophy.
- Trophy!

106
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,239
That's a good deal.
I'll meet you at the cold cuts.

107
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,616
- Got it.
- [woman] Norman?

108
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,703
Madelyn?

109
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,455
Oh! [laughs]

110
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,457
Good, you remembered!

111
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,543
God, I don't believe it. Look at you.
You're more beautiful than ever.

112
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,337
Oh, sh! [giggles]

113
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,881
Madelyn, this is my friend Sandy.

114
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,132
- Hello, how are you?
- Hello.

115
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:26,511
Madelyn and I dated
when, uh, what's-his-name was...

116
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,678
Uh...

117
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,805
Lyndon Johnson.

118
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,140
- Jesus, that's like 50...
- Oh, please, no need to...

119
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,184
Sorry. It was before Eileen.

120
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,727
- Yeah, before Eileen.
- Yeah.

121
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,229
We were hot and heavy for a bit.

122
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,272
It's a wonder
that neither of us got hurt.

123
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,436
What are you talking about?

124
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,818
I was constantly pulling one muscle
or another! [laughs]

125
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,151
[both laughing]

126
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,571
Excuse me. Would you mind
taking this away from my husband?

127
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,490
- Oh! Sorry. Sorry.
- Oh.

128
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,327
So, uh... what are you doing now?
Where are you living?

129
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,181
Well, for the last few years,
I've been living in Santa Barbara, but...

130
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,039
[clears throat]

131
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,417
- Uh, my condolences.
- Thank you.

132
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,460
Davey, he was one of the good guys.

133
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,711
Yeah, he was.

134
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,172
- [sighs] Boy, did he love you.
- [chuckles]

135
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,424
Yeah, I did see that.

136
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,551
A funny story,
when you two started dating,

137
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:10,471
he was constantly sending me pictures
of you sunbathing by the pool.

138
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:12,806
Why is that funny?

139
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,061
Well, it's not so much funny
as it's insightful.

140
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,940
To show that he was...
He was proud of you.

141
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,024
Hm.

142
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,443
Okay.

143
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,821
I deleted them.

144
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:28,906
Most of them.

145
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,577
[Norman] And best of all,
her husband died four years ago.

146
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,828
[Sandy] That's just terrific.

147
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,872
Long illness, took a lot out of her,

148
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,748
but she seems to be on top of it now.

149
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,376
- Okay. Mm.
- You know she speaks three languages?

150
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,128
- Whoa.
- And has a degree in chemistry?

151
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,211
Wow.

152
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,256
- Chemistry!
- I said "Wow."

153
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:46,424
Extraordinary woman.

154
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,218
[sighs] Maybe she can
whip you up some opium.

155
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,052
What?

156
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,514
For your existential despair.

157
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,598
Ah.

158
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,143
No sense of irony, okay.

159
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,980
We exchanged numbers,
said we'd get together.

160
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,024
[sighs] That's wonderful.
I'm happy for you.

161
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,235
[sighs] Boy, oh, boy,
what a great funeral.

162
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,492
I am gonna talk to him.

163
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,036
I just...
I haven't found the right time yet.

164
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,707
No, I'm not embarrassed. Are you?

165
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,673
- Oh, hey, Sandy!
- Hey...

166
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,132
Theresa.

167
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,344
I know your name, Theresa.

168
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,804
Oh, uh, this is my boyfriend, Marcus.

169
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:34,888
- Hey.
- Hey.

170
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,059
- You living in there?
- Yeah.

171
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,103
Okay, I'll see you later.

172
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,271
- See you.
- Bye.

173
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,398
Why not get a little apartment?

174
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,568
Oh, it's too expensive. This way,
I can save money for acting classes.

175
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,820
Well, what about Marcus?
Does he have a job?

176
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,531
No, he's a bass player.

177
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,204
Love you too.

178
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,539
[door opens]

179
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,001
- I'll see you in there.
- You bet, Theresa.

180
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,674
Did you know she's living in a van?

181
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,676
Yeah. About a year now.

182
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,427
Doesn't that bother you?

183
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,013
Well... a lot of the students...

184
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,724
rough it until they land a job,
you know that.

185
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,563
"Hard times builds character,
character builds talent."

186
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,689
Who said that?

187
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,524
You did.

188
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,526
It's in your book.

189
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,530
I have no memory of writing that.

190
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,368
So, a young girl living in a van

191
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,954
with a 90-pound googly-eyed bass player.

192
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,498
Guy looks like he's got rickets.

193
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,750
So buy him some fruit.

194
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,168
Don't you get it?

195
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,421
I'm making my living
selling these kids on a dream

196
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,423
which, in all likelihood,
will not come true.

197
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,383
Dad, you're teaching them to act.

198
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:53,718
Their dreams are their own.

199
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:54,969
[sighs]

200
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,388
Nobody dreams
of living in a Ford Econoline.

201
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:01,350
Well, even if they don't make it,
acting skills are useful all through life.

202
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,270
Yeah, they could all become
Civil War reenactors.

203
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,732
Because Sandy Kominsky
taught them how to die.

204
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:09,942
I'm gonna say something after class.

205
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:13,362
- Yeah, you do that. So, listen...
- They need to know the harsh reality.

206
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,007
- Yeah, they sure do.
- Better to hear it

207
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,241
- from somebody that they revere.
- Or you.

208
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,578
Um, Dad, I... I need to tell you
something important.

209
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,998
- Well, go on. What are you waiting for?
- [sighs]

210
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,167
I've been seeing someone.

211
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,960
Oh.

212
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,294
Okay.

213
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,380
And it's getting serious.

214
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,716
Really? Wow.

215
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,634
Do I get to meet him?

216
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,472
I mean, I'm assuming it's a him,
but either way, you know, I love you.

217
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,600
- Yes, it's a him.
- What do I know? In college...

218
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,478
That was one semester
and I was experimenting.

219
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,230
Got it. I know.
That's what college is for, for women.

220
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,525
Guys, they don't experiment,
it's either shirts or skins.

221
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,723
I... I'm sorry. Please, go ahead.

222
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,951
Um... And, yes, you will,
uh, get to meet him.

223
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,202
Terrific!

224
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,205
Because we're moving in together.

225
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,458
Okay. Yeah.

226
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,835
And there's one more thing.

227
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,463
No. No!

228
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,839
Not an actor.

229
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,676
You do not get involved with an actor.

230
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,885
He's not an actor.

231
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,720
Thank God!

232
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,932
I would rather see you get involved
with a Republican.

233
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,312
He's older than me.

234
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,274
So? That's good.

235
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,569
Little older means
that he's, uh, you know, more mature.

236
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,739
He's not a little older.

237
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,285
Well, what are we talking about?
Uh... Ten years?

238
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,289
Eleven years?

239
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,334
Twenty?

240
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,005
[sighs] He's closer to your age.

241
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,507
Really?

242
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,471
Closer but lower?

243
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,808
It depends on what age
you're going with these days.

244
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,104
Jesus Christ, Mindy! What,
are you shacking up with Rupert Murdoch?

245
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,399
You know what? I think, when you meet him,
you're really gonna like him.

246
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,694
You two have a lot of fun stuff in common.

247
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,529
Sure! We both dodged polio!

248
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,074
He did, didn't he?

249
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:23,908
He seems fine.

250
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,494
Good. Good.

251
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,205
You and I are all right, right?

252
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,207
Yeah! Why?

253
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,335
Well, you know, traditionally,
girls who like older men,

254
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,713
they got, like, you know,
daddy issues and...

255
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:38,007
Eww! I don't have daddy issues.

256
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,844
Because, if you do,
you can't solve 'em with this guy.

257
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:42,970
He's not your daddy.

258
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,347
Okay, you know what?
You really need to shut up.

259
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,431
Gladly.

260
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,879
[sighs] So I'm thinking the three of us
should have dinner.

261
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,189
Yeah, right. Absolutely. Set it up.

262
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,439
Great.

263
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,525
Maybe we can go to Denny's

264
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,153
and he and I can get the...
the senior discount.

265
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:00,403
Okay, goodbye.

266
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,946
I love you.

267
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,494
It's okay.
You don't have to say it back.

268
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,544
Before we wrap things up tonight,

269
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:20,633
I want to take a moment to talk
about the business of acting.

270
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:25,971
Actually not even the business,
but the, uh... the reality of acting.

271
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,017
Now, I know you don't want
to hear this from the guy

272
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,770
that's supposed to be giving you
the tools to succeed.

273
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:35,689
But the truth is...

274
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,567
that all the tools in the world

275
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,694
might not be enough.

276
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,614
No matter how talented you are,

277
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,492
no matter how clever
and persistent you are,

278
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,619
the odds of having a legitimate,

279
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:51,622
life-sustaining career as an actor

280
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,874
are overwhelming.

281
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,670
Ninety percent

282
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,339
of the Screen Actors Guild is unemployed.

283
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,091
Now, you need to know this.

284
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:06,846
You need to know that the likelihood
of achieving fame and fortune,

285
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,889
or even just paying the rent,

286
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,184
is very, very small.

287
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,981
And that's the sad truth.

288
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,612
And if I am to continue
being your teacher, your mentor,

289
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,490
you need to hear that truth.

290
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:29,410
And you need to hear it from me.

291
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,421
Thanks, Sandy. That was great.

292
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,049
Do you think it's worth
getting a vocal coach?

293
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,844
A vocal coach?

294
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,971
I'm worried I'm too nasal-sounding

295
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:52,308
and I need to have
more of a chest voice like Penelope Cruz.

296
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,894
Did you just hear a word that I said?

297
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,104
Yeah, but I'm not gonna fail.

298
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,024
- [sighs] Really?
- Really.

299
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,445
And what about the rest of you?

300
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,156
It's black girl time.
I'm goin' all the way.

301
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,201
Look at this face.

302
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,453
How can I fail?

303
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,620
Oh!

304
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,121
Same here.

305
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,876
I have a degree in radiology
to fall back on.

306
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,420
Lane?

307
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,673
What about you?

308
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:30,262
I'm two years into a five-year plan
to become a successful Broadway actor.

309
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:31,931
Broadway? [chuckles]

310
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,058
What the hell are you doin' here
in Los Angeles?

311
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,600
Getting ready.

312
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,730
[mouths]

313
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,150
[ringing]

314
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,742
[English accent] Sandy, what ho?

315
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,328
"What ho?"

316
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,665
PG Wodehouse, maybe before your time.
How are you, my friend?

317
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,751
I've been better.
You want to grab a bite to eat?

318
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,544
I cannot. I have...

319
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:11,971
[quietly] I have a date.

320
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,181
Why are you whispering?

321
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,725
An excellent question.

322
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,066
Okay. Okay, listen to this.

323
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,275
[clears throat]

324
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,278
Shortly after I got home,
Madelyn called me and asked me to dinner.

325
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,906
Phew! She works fast!

326
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:31,990
<i>Yes, indeed.</i>

327
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,534
She said, and I quote,

328
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,411
"You and I are too old to mess around,

329
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,038
so let's get this party started."
[chuckles]

330
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:40,791
That's great, buddy. Have a great time.

331
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:44,211
Well, I had a whale of a nap,
so I'm good till ten.

332
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,463
[chuckles] Okay. All right, bye!

333
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:47,589
Okay, bye.

334
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,181
[muzak plays softly]

335
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,449
Could this be any sadder?

336
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,367
- That was out loud.
- Thank you.

337
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,175
Hey!

338
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,261
Hey!

339
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,388
Eh... What a surprise.

340
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,223
Yeah. Wild, huh?

341
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,225
What are you doin'
in this neck of the woods?

342
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,353
I... Uh... Just helping my, uh...

343
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:47,649
uh... friend, uh...
stock his... refrigerator.

344
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,233
Huh.

345
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,360
Hi! William.

346
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,070
Recently divorced.

347
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,281
Sandy, vaguely interested.

348
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:59,036
Uh, remember I told you
I was taking an acting class?

349
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,704
Uh, Sandy's the teacher.

350
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,748
Ah! Well, sure.

351
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,249
That sounds like fun.

352
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,834
It is fun, William.

353
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,086
Loads of fun.

354
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,380
Hope you're gonna come back.
Everybody misses you.

355
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,550
I will. I will, just been kind of busy.

356
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,677
Sure. I understand.

357
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,264
You know, I joined an improv group
when I was in college.

358
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,474
We were called Mixed Nuts.

359
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,016
[chuckles]

360
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,395
Okay. Uh... We... We gotta go.

361
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,022
Um, it... it was great seeing you.

362
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,107
Yeah, you too.

363
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,400
Good luck stocking William's fridge.

364
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,413
[sighs] I am so stupid.

365
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,832
Still out loud.

366
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,793
[loud jazz music plays]

367
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,924
Boy, I haven't been here in a while.

368
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,134
It's great, isn't it?

369
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,261
Little bit noisy.

370
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,974
Eileen and I used to come here
when it was Alan Hale's Lobster Pot.

371
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,308
[both laugh]

372
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,479
Oh, thanks.

373
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,522
Thank you.

374
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,152
So...

375
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,697
how have you been these last 50 years?

376
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,239
What?

377
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,077
How have you been these last 50 years?

378
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,661
Oh, well...

379
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,748
Uh... I fell in love, I got married,

380
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,750
had a beautiful baby girl,

381
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,419
lost my wife to cancer,

382
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,213
put my daughter into drug rehab

383
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,549
and, uh, now I'm thinking
about killing myself.

384
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:36,967
[chuckles] Oh!

385
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,847
I'm not sure we can have a conversation
in here.

386
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,685
Take out your phone.

387
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,855
- What?
- Take... Take out your phone.

388
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,357
[rings]

389
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,320
- Hello?
- Hah!

390
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:57,821
That's better, isn't it?

391
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,990
Great. Very clever.

392
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,243
Can I start you off with something
to drink? A glass of wine?

393
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,662
Yes. We would like, please...

394
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:06,746
Norman! Norman.

395
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,125
Oh, yeah. We would like
a bottle of Montrachet.

396
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,710
- Mm!
- How about that?

397
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,212
Remembering after 50 years?

398
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,466
We would like a bottle
of your best Montrachet, please.

399
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,427
Last time I bought that wine...

400
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,096
Last time I bought that wine
was on a date with you.

401
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,058
It took me two years
to pay off my credit card.

402
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,019
Oh, you were always such a show-off.

403
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,855
Well, sure. I wanted to trick you
into liking me.

404
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,315
Well, it worked.

405
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,735
So, tell me,

406
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,446
what's been going on with you?

407
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:40,947
No.

408
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,199
Why not?

409
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,117
I just don't want to live in the past.

410
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,453
I want... I want to talk about the future.

411
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:47,870
There's a future?

412
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,413
There is now.

413
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,585
<i>You've gotta ask yourself why.</i>

414
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,464
<i>Why would he say something
that is so blatantly false,</i>

415
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,049
<i>it is an outright lie,</i>

416
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,551
<i>when the truth is so obvious?</i>

417
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:04,888
<i>And frankly,
the truth is a whole lot easier to sell.</i>

418
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,807
<i>It makes no sense</i>

419
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,266
<i>that he would do this.</i>

420
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,393
<i>I don't understand why.</i>

421
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,479
- Because he's a sociopath, Don. Hello?
- [phone rings]

422
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:15,023
<i>- He's trying to convince you to ignore...</i>
- [sighs]

423
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,900
Why? For fuck's sake.

424
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,028
[sighs] Hello, Norman.

425
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,571
Good, you're up.

426
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,323
It's 9:30.

427
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,075
So, dig this.

428
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:27,077
Madelyn lives in Santa Barbara

429
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,960
and she invited me
to come up for the weekend.

430
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,956
Did you just say "dig this"?

431
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,875
Did I? Blame it on the Montrachet.

432
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:37,212
Anyway, Santa Barbara, what do you think?

433
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,548
What difference does it make
what I think?

434
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,967
True, but I still wanna discuss it.

435
00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:45,928
Are you eating?

436
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:46,972
Yeah.

437
00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:48,932
Could you stop? It sounds terrible.

438
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:50,851
I'm having my dinner.

439
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,854
This late? You're gonna get acid reflux.

440
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,772
That'll taste better than what I'm eating.

441
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:57,064
You know...

442
00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,652
I can't help worrying
that all this is moving too fast.

443
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:01,903
So what?

444
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,197
"So what?" That's your input?

445
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:05,489
All right.

446
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,075
Uh... How about this?

447
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,410
Stop chewing!

448
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,246
When in doubt...

449
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,875
ride the horse
in the direction that it's going.

450
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:18,712
Mmm! Now, that's good.
Where'd you get that?

451
00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,089
You remember that show, uh... <i>Kung Fu?</i>

452
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,759
Yeah, yeah, yeah, with that guy...

453
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:25,426
What's his name?

454
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:26,678
<i>The son of the other guy.</i>

455
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,180
Uh, hey, wait. It's, uh...

456
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:30,223
No, it's not Barrymore.
It's the other one.

457
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:32,434
Oh, God. I can see his face.

458
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,935
Me too. I just can't, uh...

459
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,022
Anyway, I heard it on that show.
I never forgot it.

460
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,149
Well, it's still a wise thing.

461
00:22:39,232 --> 00:22:40,233
I think so.

462
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,029
It suggests that one should...

463
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,530
go with the flow.

464
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:47,783
And... And where's the flow goin'?

465
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,577
At the moment,
all roads lead to Santa Barbara.

466
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:54,456
With a beautiful woman who seems to love
to have you in her life again.

467
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,250
Yeah, she does, doesn't she?

468
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,836
There's an ass for every saddle.

469
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,757
Hey, can I run something by you?

470
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,217
Make it fast, it's late.

471
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,968
[sighs]

472
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:10,597
Mindy dropped a bomb on me today

473
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,516
and it's... It's really freaking me out.

474
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,351
No preamble, it's late.

475
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,477
[sighs]

476
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:19,523
She told me that she's seriously involved
with an older man.

477
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,109
Well, a little older
is generally a good thing.

478
00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:23,443
More mature.

479
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:24,778
That's what I said.

480
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:25,904
So, how old?

481
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:27,864
<i>Kind of closer to my age.</i>

482
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:29,408
You're kidding.

483
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,492
<i>I am not.</i>

484
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,575
Hah!

485
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,286
Ha-ha!

486
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,621
<i>Ha, ha, ha!</i>

487
00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:36,873
You're laughing.
Is that how you support me?

488
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,667
Oh, come on, it's perfect!

489
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,962
You spent most of your adult life
dating women half your age

490
00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:43,380
and now your daughter is...

491
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,339
Ho, ho, ho!

492
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,507
Holy shit!

493
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,092
<i>I'm glad I could amuse you.</i>

494
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:48,802
[chuckling] Holy shit!

495
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:50,053
[laughs]

496
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,222
[continues laughing]

497
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,305
Ha-ha!

498
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,601
[sighs]

499
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,939
David Carradine.

500
00:24:01,356 --> 00:24:03,358
[theme tune starts]