(knocking)
-Hi. -Hi.
Ah! I can't believe you're home.
(both exhale)
You, uh, y-you seem good.
I am. Finally.
Uh, wh-where's Chim?
And-and Jee?
(both laughing)
HEN: Welcome home.
I have missed you.
Missed you, too. You want a beer?
Yeah.
(door closes)
Maddie not around?
We broke up.
So, we realized somewhere around St. Louis
that it was over.
After everything you've been through?
CHIMNEY: All those other times we were apart,
it always felt like it was outside forces.
Ex-husbands, pandemics.
This time, it feels like
the call's coming from inside the house.
It's hard enough trying to keep a relationship
together under the same roof.
But not speaking to each other for six months?
We grew apart.
Or we grew while we were apart, I guess.
It kind of sounds like he's punishing you for being sick.
No, that's not what's going on.
We made a mutual decision together
that this is what's best for Jee.
So no one is punishing anyone.
Okay? Don't be mad at Chim.
(sighs) I mean,
I do still owe him a punch in the face.
I already apologized to Buck. Everything is fine with us.
I'm ready to get back with the team.
Mm, yeah.
The team's configuration is just
a little bit different than when you left.
-Eddie quit? -Bobby replaced me?
You asked Taylor to move in with you?
Buck made out with the new firefighter?
(sighs)
Wow.
Yep.
(exhales)
You guys totally fell apart without me.
HORATIO: This is a very strongly worded release form.
VERN: Yeah, well, sharks don't mess around.
-So neither do we. -Uh, uh, this section here
about being "permanently maimed or physically disfigured"?
(clicking nearby)
I thought I was safer in the cage than free diving.
You are.
Well, is there anything
safer than the cage?
Land.
(sighs)
Look, you don't have to go in.
(pen writing)
Okay.
Let's get you geared up.
♪ Summer breeze ♪
♪ Makes me feel fine ♪
♪ Blowin' through the jasmine ♪
♪ In my mind ♪
♪ Summer breeze... ♪
-(breathing deeply) -MAN: Fresh meat! Fresh meat!
Fresh meat. Come and get it.
All right, come and get it.
Fresh meat! Fresh meat!
(chuckling): All right, looking good, my man!
All right, very important.
This button right here, see it?
You push this button and inflate your vest,
it's gonna bring you on up to the surface.
All right, but this is just a precaution.
You're only going down maybe 20 feet.
You got your guide with you the entire time.
Under no circumstance
should you ever leave the cage.
All right? Big no-no, got it?
You good?
Thumbs up? Okay, all right.
Get on in there!
Let's do this. All right.
(grunting softly)
♪ ♪
(thudding)
-(thudding) -(grunts)
-(bellowing) -(whimpering)
(shrieks)
(gasping, whimpering)
(muffled shouting)
(alarm beeping)
Jesus. We lost the cage!
Oh, my God!
(muffled shouting)
Pull her around!
Hold her steady! I'm going in!
(muffled shouting)
BOBBY: Okay, Buck, Lucy?
Help them tie off so we can board.
Uh, sorry. Excuse me.
How deep was he before he came up?
Over 100 feet. My other diver's still coming up.
He's only halfway.
Might as well just grab him now.
Sir? Sir, can you hear me?
JONAH: Pulse is weak.
Severe barotrauma.
Every blood vessel in his eye must have burst.
The mask did that. Squeezed his head like a melon.
I worked at a dive shop in Redondo.
HEN: Oh.
Ruptured eardrums.
-Shouldn't be surprised. -Airway is patent,
but breathing's extremely shallow.
One of his lungs is probably gone.
Would've ruptured on the way up.
(gasps)
HORATIO: Can't move.
-Everything hurts. -Jonah?
-Push fluids and get him on O2. -Okay.
LUCY: Temporary paralysis, too.
He's got it bad, Cap.
Buck, get him prepped for medevac.
This is 118 to Air Operations.
We need medevac at San Pedro Marina.
Victim is suffering from severe decompression sickness
and possibly a punctured lung.
Prep for hyperbaric oxygen treatment.
PILOT: Roger that, Captain 118.
We're transporting a trauma patient.
Will circle back as soon as we unload. 15 minutes out.
He'll be dead before he sees the inside of a chamber.
-She's not wrong. -JONAH: So what do we do?
Tag him and go grab a smoothie?
We could put him back in the water.
I could take him down, bring him back up properly.
That's too risky-- we need to get him in a chamber.
15 minutes?
We could build one faster.
Saw a diver do it once in Ensenada.
He said all you need is a good seal
and a lot of compressed air.
He built his in a meat freezer.
How about a fresh fish freezer?
Buck, kill the power to the freezer.
He's gonna be in there anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes.
Could be hypothermic in ten, okay, even with the power off.
-So we need to pump him full of warm fluids. -JONAH: Great call, Hen.
-We could run the I.V. in with the air. -JONAH: I'll stay with him.
Take pressure readings and monitor his vitals.
Radio us if anything goes south.
(drill whirring)
BOBBY: Okay.
Buck, Lucy, run 'em wide open.
(gasping)
Lucy, be ready to switch out those tanks.
Okay, that's ten minutes.
-How are we looking, Jonah? -Pressure equivalent
of 100 feet below.
Excellent.
JONAH: Still hanging tight.
Core temperature is steady and his vitals are improving.
Copy that.
Fresh tanks here...
Firefighter Donato.
Thanks, Firefighter Buckley.
Okay, Lucy, start bringing the pressure down.
Okay.
How is he?
Swelling has reduced, BP is stabilized,
-normal breathing has returned. -Good.
Never lost anyone on a charter yet, don't want to start now.
Don't know what happened out there to make him
-freak out like that. -HORATIO: Sharks.
Phobia.
So you booked a shark encounter charter?
Immersion therapy.
I'm not sure it works like that.
They say the only thing to fear is...
Crazy people.
FRANK: So what are you afraid of?
That's a pretty open-ended question, don't you think?
I mean, I don't love going to the dentist.
I doubt the fear of having a cavity filled
is why you blew up at Captain Nash the way you did.
I apologized for that.
I was upset.
Shouldn't have said what I said to him.
So why did you?
-How's Christopher? -Good.
Good. He had a rough patch
-over the holidays, but he's doing better now. -Good.
I'm glad to hear that.
I know how much you worry about him.
-(chuckles) -His well-being.
-Is that a bad thing now? -Not at all.
I just wonder if you worry about your own well-being.
You're a man who spends all of his time
managing other people's pain.
Army medic,
firefighter, father.
But not a lot of time facing your own.
An old drill sergeant of mine used to say
that pain is nothing but weakness leaving the body.
-You think pain is weakness? -It can be.
If you give in to it.
Can't put all your feelings in a box, Eddie.
You might think if you're strong enough that it'll hold.
But at some point, that box is gonna blow open.
And take me with it.
You and anyone else around you.
So what do I do?
Sit here and...
download you on every bad thing that's happened to me?
Could be a while.
Let's take a shortcut.
Maybe you should talk about your pain
with someone who shares it.
Think about that first trauma.
And then talk to someone
who can understand exactly what you've been through.
TAYLOR: Oh, okay, well...
(chuckles) ...definitely not kitchen.
You know, I didn't realize you had this much stuff.
Yeah, we'll just have to cull as we unpack.
We probably have two of everything.
Including two couches.
Ah...
Uh, maybe just set it down over there for now.
-Thanks. -What exactly are we gonna do with two couches?
Well, we'll get rid of one.
I'm guessing not the one they just carried in?
-No. -Ah.
-So... -Yeah.
Okay, I will see if anyone at the firehouse
wants to... buy a couch.
Uh, maybe that new firefighter needs one.
Uh, you-you mean Lucy?
Um, yeah, I-I wouldn't... I wouldn't know.
Uh, we haven't really... interacted.
Uh, she-she's kind of a little...
A little what?
-Bold. -"Bold"?
Uh, yeah, she-she-she's bold.
Um, yeah, so-so...
I don't know what her tastes are.
Huh, you know, you can just ask her.
Do you have good taste?
She says yes, you'll know she'll love it.
-Good plan. -Aha.
Okay.
I'm gonna go return my keys and do a walkthrough
with the landlord.
-Wish me luck. -(knocking)
-(Jee-Yun cooing) -MADDIE: Is this a bad time?
CHIMNEY: A familiar face.
-Finally! -Yeah, welcome back. We missed you.
Of course you did-- so many new firefighters around here,
I thought I walked into the wrong house.
Well, on the plus side, I'm no longer the new guy.
They really do grow up so fast, don't they?
HEN: Oh, look who decided to stop by.
-And just in time for lunch. -Is it lunchtime?
Can't wait to see what Cap's cooking.
Let's go.
This is...
not cooked.
What, do you want me to warm it up for you in the microwave?
-You're saying no to my sushi? -I'm not saying no.
-I'm saying, "Why?" -Yeah, but for the record,
I'm saying yes to whatever he doesn't want, so...
Never mind. I'll cook something for you.
I have got red snapper, flounder.
-How do you feel about tilapia? -How does anyone feel about tilapia, Cap?
-Yeah. -Okay, so what's up with all the fish?
You guys become pescatarians or something while I was gone?
We had a call at a fish market the other day.
-And they paid you in flounder? -BOBBY: Hey.
How about a little seared salmon?
Little ginger, little lemon, little garlic?
-What do you say? -Why not?
All right.
I'm glad you're back.
You seem better.
Glad you guys worked it out.
I don't have a job.
I need to find an apartment.
I used most of my savings when I left.
And Chimney used most of his chasing me.
Well, I'm sorry about the whole apartment thing.
-If I would've known... -What?
If you had known that I was coming back, you wouldn't
have asked your girlfriend to move in with you?
-(chuckles) Hi. -(Jee-Yun cooing)
Yeah, yeah.
Buck?
Uh, yeah, uh, maybe.
(laughs) Look, basically, I-I did a dumb thing.
And I wasn't sure how to tell Taylor,
so instead I...
I did an even dumber thing.
Asking her to move in?
Mm-hmm. And listen, I-I do...
I do love her.
You know, and she's really been there for me
with you guys gone, and I-I want to believe
I asked her for the right reasons.
But?
I can't help but wonder if...
maybe I was just scared of being left again.
We are a pair.
The fugitive and the settler.
-I'm always running, you're always... -Clinging.
(chuckles softly)
I really did miss you.
I missed you, too.
Okay, so you said that the second dumb thing
you had done was asking Taylor to move in with you.
What was the first?
("One More Heartache" by Marvin Gaye playing)
♪ One more heartache ♪
♪ I can't take it ♪
♪ My heart is carrying such a heavy load... ♪
So...
that's the infamous Chimney.
What do you think?
That I should probably start packing.
What about you?
I thought he'd be taller.
(cell phone keys clicking)
(cell phone buzzes)
What?
You keep checking that thing, like, every five minutes.
Everything okay?
Yeah.
It's just that today is the first day
that Maddie will be alone with the baby in six months.
And you're scared.
That's an understatement.
(doorbell rings)
Hey, I'm Perry from the pet-sitting app.
Excellent, right on time.
Looks like all those five-star reviews were pretty accurate.
-Come on in. -Thanks.
Make yourself at home. I'm Oren.
I have to say I am so grateful you responded to my listing.
I've had the hardest time
getting anybody to take this job.
That's weird.
House like this and the rate you're paying?
Figured people would be banging down your door.
(chuckles): Well...
So where are the little cuties? I don't see any
-running around. -Oh, no, they're in their cages.
-Ah. -I know it sounds old-fashioned,
but I am not a fan of free roaming.
-Come on. -You're smart.
Crate training's important for reinforcing good behavior.
-Right? -So how much playtime are your pets used to?
Well, they get plenty of recreation.
And I used to let them out
more often, but the little devils kept running away.
So this is where you'll be sleeping.
This actually used to be the kennel.
But with all that downtime during the pandemic,
I decided to go all out
and make each one of my babies their very own
state-of-the-art, climate-controlled environment.
Wow, lucky pups.
-Ready to meet them? -Lead the way.
♪ Oh, ain't love a kick ♪
♪ Tell me quick ♪
♪ Ain't love a kick... ♪
-What do you think? -(gasps)
Beautiful, aren't they?
Uh, these aren't dogs.
(laughing): That's very funny.
Is it?
Hey, sweetheart. Ooh.
Let me get you a little cleaned up there.
Look at that, look at that.
Are you gonna miss me?
Is there a problem?
Uh... problem?
No, no.
It's-it's just...
Oh, please.
Don't tell me that you're changing your mind.
I haven't had a vacation in six years.
I know it's a lot of money, but...
How about I pay you more?
Uh, how much more?
$50 an hour.
It's $1,200 a day.
$8,400 for the week?
What do you say?
-Bye-bye. -Have a great trip.
See you in a week.
♪ Back to school, ring the bell ♪
♪ Brand-new shoes, walking blues ♪
♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪
♪ Walk with me, Suzy Lee ♪
♪ Through the park and by the tree ♪
-(tablet chiming) -♪ We will rest upon the ground ♪
♪ And look at all the bugs we found ♪
♪ Safely walk to school without a sound ♪
♪ Here we are, no one else ♪
♪ We walk to school all by ourselves ♪
♪ There's dirt on our uniforms... ♪
Oh, there you are.
(laughs) Honestly, it's not so bad.
Think I might actually be starting
to like the little demons.
All right.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Bye.
♪ About the bugs and alphabet ♪
♪ And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet ♪
♪ That you and I will walk together again ♪
(sighs)
♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends. ♪
I see, and who are we checking on?
My pets! I am on vacation,
and they need to be fed.
I'm sorry, sir, but that in no way warrants a 911 call.
Maybe there's a neighbor you could call instead?
-Or a pet-sitter? -Well, I have a pet-sitter!
He hasn't answered the phone in two days.
So there's an actual person
who might be at risk here?
Does that make a difference?
-(knocking) -LAPD!
(beeping)
LAPD! Anybody home?
♪ ♪
It's uh... He's, uh...
...in here.
You trying to set the mood, Vargas?
-Oh, wow. -VARGAS: He was like that when we found him.
-Didn't want to touch him till you guys got here. -LUCY: That's a lot of webbery.
I am getting a reading.
He's still alive under there. Hen?
Okay, we need to cut him out of there
to assess and treat him.
Lucy, stand by with that CO2 extinguisher.
It should knock out whatever cold-blooded creatures
might've spun these webs.
(Hen shouting)
Okay, I think you guys got this.
Let's get a gurney in here!
Did Cap just run away?
-More like a fast walk. -JONAH: Get ready to transfer.
One, two, three. (grunts)
HEN: Breathing's shallow, pulse is barely there.
Didn't think tarantulas were that poisonous.
This many bites adds up.
And they're also known to make webs to store their prey.
I think our guy was next on their menu.
Prepping a steroid injection.
I'm just gonna leave the patient's clothes
right there for animal control.
Well, dispatch said
the homeowner explicitly forbade them
from entering the home until he got back from vacation.
But he is happy we found some of his missing pets.
Is that what you were doing out here, Cap?
Talking to dispatch?
Nothing to do with a little undiagnosed arachnophobia?
Come on, Hen.
-He's coding! -What?
What-what happened? He was just stable.
Pressure's bottoming out-- might be a reaction to the steroids.
Wouldn't that increase the pressure?
Yes, unless he was on some sort of prescription meds.
-Clear! -(defibrillator clacks)
-(steady beeping) -Heart rhythm returning to normal.
-Nice job. -Thank you.
You sure he's okay?
Yeah.
Just gave us a scare.
ALBERT: I still don't understand why Bobby
would give you so much fish.
They've been eating nothing but fish all week.
-I think he was trying to stave off a mutiny. -Hmm.
Nothing else is gonna fit in this freezer.
(sighs)
Uh, how would you feel
about ice cream for dinner?
As long as it doesn't taste or smell like mackerel, I'm in.
They've been in there a really long time.
You think I should check on them?
Uh, no, you should not.
Yeah, I should go check.
Hey. Everything good?
Yeah. I changed her, fed her, put her down.
-You should be good till morning. -Great.
Did, uh, she have her bath?
Uh... no.
No, she didn't really get dirty today,
so I didn't think... I'm sure she's fine.
Right. I-I'm sure she is, too. I-I didn't mean...
It's okay. You know what, I should go.
'Cause I have an apartment to see tonight, so...
Uh, sure you don't want to stay for dinner?
We're having mint chocolate chip.
No, thanks.
You guys have a good night.
(door closes)
We should have 20 forks at this point.
Why can't I find one?
Uh, maybe they're in the dishwasher.
Just tell me there are chopsticks in that bag.
Taylor, um...
Mm-hmm?
I kissed someone.
Wh-What?
I kissed another woman.
I mean, she kissed me, but I-I-I kissed her back.
And then, uh, I realized what a mistake I was making, and...
I stopped.
Look, I-I'm really sorry.
Oh.
I'm really, really sorry.
It didn't mean anything.
I was drunk and-and stupid.
When?
When what?
When were you drunk
and stupid?
A few weeks ago.
We had that big save on the freeway, and...
and we went out to celebrate.
That... hmm, that is a day before you asked me to move in.
Was that why you asked me to move in?
No.
Hmm?
Not-not entirely.
"Not entirely."
(scoffing): Oh. Oh.
Um, hey, wh-where are you going?
Oh, I have no idea.
-Are you gonna come back? -Of course.
I don't have anywhere else to go.
You made sure of that.
(door slams)
TRAVIS: Give me your purse.
-What? -Give me your purse!
Now!
No.
Are you not seeing this?
How can I not when you're waving it around like that?
You want it?
You're gonna have to come and get it,
'cause I'm not giving it to you.
Lady, I swear I will shoot you.
Are you sure about that?
Feels like the window's closing on that opportunity.
You got some kind of death wish?!
(laughing)
Let's find out.
(shouting)
You wanted me to be scared?
(coughing, spitting)
I ain't scared.
Nope.
Still not scared.
Are you?
No, this is not that difficult. I...
-PAULINE: You scared yet? -RUTH: Ma'am!
Ma'am.
I-I don't know what this man has done,
but I can pretty much make a guess.
He thought he could scare me.
Clearly, he misjudged you.
But, please,
don't take me and this entire block
with you to prove a point.
(sirens wailing in distance)
That's what I thought. (grunts)
-(Travis groans, grunts) -I'm sorry.
(car door opens, closes)
Crazy bitch.
(yells)
(whooping)
Hey!
You got the wrong guy!
I was just asking for directions!
-(grunts) -Ruth.
What's with the cold shower?
You caught yourself another Peeping Tom?
-More creep than peep. -(whoops)
He was trying to rob one of my customers at the pump.
She retaliated by dousing him with about $12 worth of premium,
then turned the nozzle on herself.
High-octane baptism.
-Now, that's a new one. -(Travis groaning)
Well, the mystery
of the nice man who asked for directions
has been solved.
Did she say something to you?
Craziest thing. She apologized.
Reckless and remorseful.
Wonder what that's about.
(siren wails)
(whispers): Oh, God.
Oh, God. Did something happen?
-Is Pauline okay? -Pauline Barrett?
My sister. We live together.
-I-I'm Leticia. -Sergeant Grant.
So, you don't know where she is?
She's not answering my calls or texts.
W-Was she in some kind of accident?
There was an incident at a gas station.
Oh. That's why she smelled like gasoline.
She blew through here, took a shower,
then left again.
She wouldn't talk to me.
She's just not herself lately.
-In what way? -(sighs)
She's irritable.
Easy to set off.
Last week, we were at a grocery store.
Some guy was ahead of us in the express lane,
and he had way more than 15 items.
He probably had 15 bottles of wine alone.
He counts those as one item. I know the creature.
-What happened? -Pauline told him
to move to another line. He wouldn't.
They started arguing, and Pauline just snapped.
Grabbed the bottles of wine and smashed them at his feet.
And this guy was big. He was getting in her face
and leaning over her, and she didn't even blink.
And there haven't been any other changes in her life?
(sighs) Just her voice.
Uh, I noticed it a few weeks ago.
She started to sound raspy and hoarse.
Please, you have to find her.
I don't know what's happening with my sister,
but she's not okay.
What is your location, sir?
I'm at the recycling center on Sadler.
Holy crap! She's walking right on the ledge.
-We are aware, sir. -MAY: 911.
-What's your emergency? -Got another call
-about the recycling jumper. -MAY: Same thing over here.
Yes, ma'am. Thanks for calling.
JOSH: 911. What's your emergency?
PAULINE: I'm at the recycling center on Sadler.
Yes, we know about the jumper.
-We've shut down... -No.
You don't understand.
I am the jumper.
-(siren wailing) -JOSH: All units responding to the recycling plant,
be advised the subject refuses to engage
with personnel on scene. Routing call to TAC channel two
-so hostage rescue can listen on the way in. -ATHENA: Copy that, dispatch.
This is 727-L-30.
-We will monitor from here. -BOBBY: Hey.
-Can you get an airbag under her? -Negative. Too much obstruction.
We're gonna have to get her down the hard way.
All right, Buck, Ravi, hit it.
JOSH: Pauline,
I know you're afraid.
PAULINE: But I'm not.
That's the problem.
I'm not afraid at all.
Okay. You're... fearless.
When you say it like that, it sounds like a good thing.
I mean, who'd want to be afraid?
Uh, not many people.
Because they don't know what it feels like,
how empty you feel inside
when the fear is gone.
REPORTER: We are at the recycling plant...
-(knocking) -LINDA: Hey, Eddie.
I need you to tweet about these road closures.
We've got a jumper.
Do they even know who she is?
Remember that lady from the Gas 'N' Sip
who almost set herself on fire?
Apparently, she's lost the ability to be afraid.
-Is that even a real thing? -(sighs)
REPORTER: ...coverage and breaking news from this harrowing situation.
PAULINE (over radio): I can't function like this.
Nothing means anything anymore.
I feel like I am coming out of my skin, literally.
-BOBBY: How you doing up there, guys? -On the move, Cap.
-Almost there. -BOBBY: Copy that.
Here you go. Take a look.
HEN: That doesn't look good.
She did douse herself with gasoline.
HEN: Gasoline wouldn't do that.
Not even an allergic reaction.
Any other symptoms?
Mood swings, fits of anger.
I mean, yelling at men twice her size at the grocery store.
Oh, and her voice changed.
-Her voice? -Yeah.
Wasn't raspy or hoarse before.
But, you know, maybe that's from all the yelling.
(whispers): Hey.
Cap, we are way too exposed here.
She sees us coming, and she's gonna jump.
-HEN: Cap. -Yeah.
I have an idea, but I-I need to get closer.
Buck, Ravi, stand by.
PAULINE: I really did try to make the best of it.
Pauline, I'm wondering if you might want
to talk to someone with medical knowledge who can help.
So they can tell me that I'm crazy?
No. No, thank you. No.
No.
No one can help me.
JOSH: I have someone who wants to try.
HEN: Hi, Pauline. Down here.
My name... my name is Henrietta, but people call me Hen.
I told everyone to stay away!
I-I'm not moving. I'm not moving.
I just want to talk. That's it.
Can you tell me
when your symptoms first started?
A few months ago. I... It's hard to remember.
Have you experienced any psychological symptoms,
like visions or-or voices in your head?
No. No, not like that.
I'm just-just losing my mind.
I don't think you are, Pauline.
Are you sure?
'Cause I'm up here
praying and hoping
that my stomach would drop
or the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up.
But there's nothing.
I feel empty.
If I operate out of fear
and it goes away, how am I supposed to operate?
HEN: Well, the first thing you do is look at me.
Look at me. Down here.
Pauline,
the sores around your eyes
a-and the change in your voice.
I think it's Urbach-Wiethe syndrome.
It's a disease that-that hardens parts
of your body, like your vocal cords
and your amygdala.
That's-that's the part of your brain
that-that controls your-your fear response.
It's not your mind, Pauline.
It's your brain.
PAULINE: It's the same thing.
I'm broken.
No. No, Pauline.
-No. -Maybe I'll feel something on the way down.
P-Pauline, no! Don't!
(grunts)
(Buck grunts)
Oh!
(Pauline whimpering)
All right, get her over-- on three.
(cheering and applause on TV)
(sirens wailing in distance)
ALBERT (sighs): I'm sorry about this.
Uh, Howie was supposed to be home before I had to leave,
-but he got stuck downtown. -Don't be silly.
I'm happy to have more one-on-one time with Jee.
She, uh, went down for a nap about an hour ago.
Is everything okay? Is it work?
(sighs)
I had this whole idea
of what I thought the job would be like.
How rewarding it would be to help people for a living.
Like Howie. Like you.
Yeah, but it can still be difficult and taxing
even when the outcome is good.
Yeah, I feel like I spend all day
trapped inside of people's worst nightmares.
We catch them at the height of their fear and pain,
and then, what, just go home?
Pack it away?
Some do. I never did.
I always carried it with me. But I always carried it
alongside all of the amazing things
that I got to do.
Every caller I helped with CPR,
every birth I talked someone through.
Every kid I helped with their homework. (chuckles)
I wish we got more homework calls.
Oh, I don't know. Math is hard.
-(chuckles) -Especially over the phone.
Look, the point is I think that you need both
to find balance.
You make it sound so easy.
Confronting your fears
and moving past them.
Yeah. We both know it's not.
(sighs)
(Jee-Yun fusses)
-No. No! -(Jee-Yun crying)
♪ ♪
(Taylor clears throat)
TAYLOR: Hey.
Uh, hey. (chuckles softly)
You're back.
Are-are-are you back?
I only had one change of clothes in my car.
Tay, I-I am so sorry.
Look, I don't care
that you kissed some random girl in a bar.
I'm not even sure I needed to know that.
But to ask me to move in with you
and then tell me?
I know you're afraid of people leaving you,
-but this is... -You think I-I trapped you?
TAYLOR: Am I wrong?
I'm not sure.
Well, at least that's honest.
Hey, however it happened,
I'm glad that you're here.
'Cause... Hey. Hey.
'Cause I want this to work.
Me, too.
So no more lies.
I swear.
ATHENA: We're all afraid of something.
Heights. Snakes.
-Small spaces. -Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
I got stuck in traffic.
-(keys thud) -Maddie?
ATHENA: But what if the thing you fear the most
is fear itself?
MADDIE: ♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went up the waterspout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
♪ And washed the spider out ♪
CHIMNEY: Hey. Looks like you guys are having fun.
(laughing): Yeah. We are.
Here.
-♪ Up came... ♪ (laughs) -(Jee-Yun babbles)
♪ And you dried up all the rain. ♪
ATHENA: Phobophobia.
The fear of being afraid.
The terror that comes from imagining
the pounding of your heart, the racing of your pulse
and the ensuing loss of control.
(engine roaring)
Wow.
From up here, it's kind of pretty.
Almost makes you forget
you're flying through the Valley of Death.
Seriously, Mills? No one needs that.
There's guys dying back here.
I didn't name it.
All the dead guys did.
(echoes): Dead guys did.
-(line ringing) -ATHENA: How do you overcome your fear
when what you're really afraid of is you?
(gunfire, people yelling on computer)
FEMALE VOICE: Enemy combatants approaching.
-MAN: Annihilate. -(muffled thudding)
(glass breaks)
-(Eddie yelling) -(loud thudding)
-(Eddie yells) -(glass breaks)
(grunts)
Dad! Dad!
(phone ringing)
Hey, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: Dad! Dad! Dad!
-Chris? -Buck!
-Something's wrong with Dad! -(Eddie yells)
Chris?
-(door closes) -Hey. Hey.
-Hey, buddy. Are you okay? -He won't come out.
I keep calling him, but he won't answer.
Um, okay. Well, y-you just wait here.
-I'm gonna go get him, okay? -Okay.
Uh, hey. Hey, Eddie. It's, uh...
It's me. Can I come in?
All right, Eddie, I-I'm gonna come in, okay?
Stay away from the door.
(grunts)
Eddie?
(panting)
-Eddie? -(Eddie sobbing)
Eddie.
Hey, hey, hey. What-what's going on?
Hey.
(sobbing): They're all dead.
BUCK: Who-who's all dead?
Everybody that I saved.
They're all dead.
(whispers): They're all dead. They're all dead.
BUCK: Okay, buddy. Okay.
We're right out here.
Is he okay?
I mean, he's still scared out of his mind.
He's not the only one.
EDDIE (crying): I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to scare him. (sniffles)
Just kind of...
lost it.
(sighs)
(Eddie sniffles)
Why?
I was supposed to... (sniffles)
...reach out to some of the people I served with.
Part of my therapy.
Okay. I, uh, I-I didn't know
you still kept in touch with any of them.
Truth is I didn't.
I haven't talked to any of them since I moved out here.
I pulled four people out of that chopper alive.
Chief died in country a couple years later.
(sniffles)
Rest of us made it home safe.
And, uh, wh-what happened to the others?
Norwahl...
died in a car crash.
Binder OD'd, and Mills...
...shot herself last August.
I pulled them out.
But I didn't save them.
So, that's why you took a baseball bat
to everything you own?
I'm afraid.
Okay.
Okay. Well, what are you afraid of?
That I'm never gonna feel normal again.
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Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org