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REPORTER:
Angelenos head into day five
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of record heat
and a citywide power outage.
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(Jee-Yun gasping)
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If you think this is great,
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wait till I show you the ocean.
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(Jee-Yun babbling)
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(gasps)
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(Jee-Yun crying)
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I think she's gonna be fine.
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00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:28,343
-But how are you doing?
-Shaky.
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I just feel like
the adrenaline's wearing off.
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Then you should get her home.
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I bet you both could use
a good night's sleep.
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Hi.
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(sighs) I am sure
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that you're confused
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and hurt and...
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and probably really scared.
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I don't... (sighs)
really know what to say.
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You don't need to go
to the police,
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or come looking for me.
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I'm not in any danger,
and no one is making me do this.
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But Jee is not safe with me.
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Not now and maybe...
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I know that you're gonna take
really good care of her.
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And she's better off
without me.
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I love you.
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I love both of you.
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And I'm really sorry.
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(gasps)
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-What is going on?
-Maddie, what did you do to him?
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Where did you get that?
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You should have left it
where it was.
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Do you think this was my fault?
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No, it was my fault.
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That's right.
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You're never the one
getting left behind.
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You're the one who leaves.
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If something was to happen
to you or her,
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I can't carry that, Maddie.
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That will be the thing
that breaks me, so please...
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(Jee-Yun crying)
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(gasping)
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(panting)
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(waves crashing)
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DR. THOMPSON: Have you had
any suicidal thoughts recently?
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Yes.
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DR. THOMPSON: Frequently,
sometimes, or rarely?
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Past few months.
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Have you had suicidal thoughts
in your past?
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Sometimes.
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DR. THOMPSON:
How long ago?
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I was in an abusive marriage.
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I had thoughts then,
but not like this.
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What about before that?
Growing up,
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did you have any feelings
of depression?
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-Suicidal ideations?
-Depression? Yeah.
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Off and on.
It started when I was a kid.
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DR. THOMPSON:
At what age?
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I don't know, like, nine,
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-ten.
-You were very young.
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My brother died. He was sick.
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I'm sorry for your loss.
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That must've been hard
at such a young age.
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Is there a history of depression
in your family?
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My mom. She, uh...
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...talked a lot about wanting
to die after losing my brother.
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Do you engage in any form
of self-harm?
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No.
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But three days ago, I tried
to drown myself in the ocean.
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♪ The winter here's cold... ♪
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SHONDA: Okay, after Patty's
done taking your blood,
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we'll take you to get
an ECG and a CT scan,
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and then you can get some rest.
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What happens tomorrow?
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Breakfast starts at 7:00.
Meds at 8:00.
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Group starts at 9:00.
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♪ To long too far ♪
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♪ From home ♪
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♪ I feel just like I'm sinking ♪
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♪ And I claw ♪
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♪ For solid ground ♪
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♪ I'm pulled down
by the undertow ♪
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♪ I never thought ♪
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♪ I could feel so low ♪
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♪ And, oh... ♪
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SHONDA:
Okay, and meds are at 8:00.
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♪ Letting go ♪
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♪ If all of the strength ♪
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♪ And all of the courage ♪
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♪ Come and lift me ♪
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♪ From this place ♪
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SHONDA:
You should eat something.
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♪ I know I can love you... ♪
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DR. THOMPSON: Ms. Buckley,
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your TSH levels are borderline.
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Do you have family history
of thyroid issues?
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-Not that I'm aware of.
-Hmm.
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Although, my mom and I don't
talk about stuff like that,
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or... anything really. (sighs)
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Okay.
Let's run some more tests.
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♪ It's better this way ♪
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♪ I say... ♪
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Doctor's ordered another test.
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-More blood? Seriously?
-You might wish it were blood.
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You-you want me to pee in that?
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For the next 24 hours.
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(scoffs)
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♪ Hurts us all the more... ♪
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MADDIE: Postpartum thyroiditis?
How did I miss that?
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At first, your thyroid
is overactive.
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The symptoms can feel like
typical baby blues.
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Anxiety, insomnia, irritability.
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Looks like the stress
of having a newborn, but then
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it starts to slow down,
or in your case, shut down.
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So, I-I'm just... cured?
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Well, now that we have
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identified the underlying
condition, we can get you
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started on some hormone therapy.
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Maddie, you all right?
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Yeah, I'm... relieved.
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Since having her,
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I didn't know what
was wrong with me, so...
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I guess now there is an answer.
(chuckles)
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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(chuckles)
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MADDIE:
You're transferring me?
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You're responding well
to the treatment.
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I think it's time to move you
to the outpatient program
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at the women's center.
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This is good news, Maddie.
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You get to go home.
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Yeah.
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Great.
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So now what?
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-Let's take a walk.
-Okay.
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MADDIE:
So, are you from Boston?
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Yeah, born and raised
in Roxbury. You?
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Pennsylvania. Now, California.
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What brought you here? Plenty
of good hospitals in California.
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I trained at this hospital.
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I used to be a nurse.
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So, why'd you quit?
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Just got to be too much.
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I get that.
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Some of these patients will make
you question your career path.
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(chuckles)
Present company excluded.
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Ah, thank you.
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But I still think
the good outweighs the bad.
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Helping people, being able to
watch them heal and get better.
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I'm talking about you,
by the way.
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You really think that
I'm getting better?
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I am no doctor,
but I've been where you are,
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and I think
you're getting stronger.
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You're stronger
than you think you are, Maddie.
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LANDLORD:
We do a lot of short-term.
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Visiting nurses
needing a place to crash.
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-It's not fancy, but...
-It's fine.
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-I'll take it.
-Great.
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I just need you
to fill out some paperwork.
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Uh, what if I just pay
in advance? Six months.
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Are you part of the program
over at the hospital?
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Yeah.
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WENDY:
I know he means well,
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but I'm so tired of him
trying to help.
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I can't just turn that frown
upside down, Jim.
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Maybe you can bring Jim to our
next friends and family session.
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Okay.
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Well, that's it for today.
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Thank you all.
I'll see you on Thursday.
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So, where are they all
rushing off to?
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Oh, uh, school pickup,
daycare, the usual.
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Not you?
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My daughter's with her dad.
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Can't see her right now.
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Me either. (chuckles)
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Oh, no, no.
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There's better coffee
down the street.
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Um... Do you want
to go grab some?
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If you don't have
anywhere else to be.
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I have nowhere else to go.
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(keys clicking)
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CHIMNEY (over video):
Keep going.
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Come to Daddy.
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(chuckles) That's it.
You're doing it.
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-You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
-(chuckles)
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CHIMNEY:
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
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No, wait. Don't touch that.
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(laughs)
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CHIMNEY (over video):
Keep going.
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Come to Daddy.
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That's it. You're doing it.
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00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,749
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
195
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:05,395
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
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(phone rings)
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BUCK:
Maddie?
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00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,760
Thank God. Are-are you okay?
199
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,004
Why is Chimney in Utah?
200
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:16,189
He left town looking for you.
201
00:10:16,341 --> 00:10:17,282
Found out what happened
to Jee-Yun...
202
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,359
I told you not to tell him.
203
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,344
No, he-he figured it out
on his own. Wait a minute,
204
00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:23,288
h-how do you know
where Chimney is?
205
00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:25,123
Did... did you talk to him?
206
00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:28,184
He emailed me a video.
I guess Jee's started crawling.
207
00:10:28,203 --> 00:10:30,019
Maddie, please just
208
00:10:30,038 --> 00:10:33,039
tell me where you are.
209
00:10:33,191 --> 00:10:34,374
I can come and get you.
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00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,526
I-I-I can send Chimney,
whatever you want.
211
00:10:36,544 --> 00:10:39,212
We just, we need to know
that you're safe.
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00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,047
I am safe. I'm just...
213
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,517
-Not ready, not yet.
-(church bells tolling)
214
00:10:47,222 --> 00:10:50,056
Uh, I got to go, okay? Love you.
215
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,566
-(Buck stammers)
-(phone beeps)
216
00:10:53,302 --> 00:10:54,802
KIRA:
So, you're freaking out
217
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:57,046
over the Old North Church bell?
218
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:59,157
I can't see him yet.
I'm not ready.
219
00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:01,217
What-what-what do you mean,
you're not ready?
220
00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:03,310
I'm not ready to go home.
221
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,906
I still have so much
that I have to work through.
222
00:11:07,058 --> 00:11:08,649
I'm just not ready
to face all that.
223
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,001
Maddie, are...
224
00:11:10,153 --> 00:11:12,319
are you afraid of your ex?
Is he...
225
00:11:12,414 --> 00:11:15,248
God, no. No, he would never...
226
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,992
But I do think
he probably hates me.
227
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,220
Why would he hate you?
228
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:25,725
I almost killed our daughter.
229
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:29,187
I was giving her a bath.
I guess I...
230
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:32,582
nodded off. She slipped
under the water and...
231
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,341
Oh, God.
232
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,253
What kind of mom does that?
233
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:39,698
Um...
234
00:11:39,925 --> 00:11:41,866
The-the week before
235
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:46,187
I met you, I was
finishing up a 28-day
236
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,098
court-mandated rehab program.
237
00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,950
I got a DUI.
238
00:11:51,102 --> 00:11:52,952
Um...
239
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:55,714
My-my-my son
240
00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:57,382
was in the backseat.
241
00:11:57,492 --> 00:12:00,126
I-I swear, I swear I never
242
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,721
meant to put him in any danger.
243
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:05,080
I...
244
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:06,707
I was just so
245
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,634
overwhelmed and...
246
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,377
You were self-medicating.
247
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,138
That doesn't make you
a bad person.
248
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:14,290
It's the only way
I know how to deal
249
00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:16,151
when things get hard.
250
00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:20,221
Now, my-my ex
won't let me see my son.
251
00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,298
I have to prove... (chuckles)
252
00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:25,651
that I am not a danger anymore.
253
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,972
I miss him so much.
254
00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:31,750
Maddie,
255
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:34,660
please stay. Please.
256
00:12:34,813 --> 00:12:36,479
I... (sighs)
257
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:40,717
I think you're probably the only
friend I have right now.
258
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,911
No one else,
259
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,489
no one else knows
what this is like.
260
00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:49,842
I just want to get better
for her.
261
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:52,103
I know, I know, and we...
262
00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:53,997
we can help each other. Okay?
263
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:57,258
-Get better together.
-Okay.
264
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,851
Then we both go home.
265
00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:00,837
Yeah.
266
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,363
Okay.
267
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,742
(sighs)
268
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,516
HEN (over phone):
Boston?
269
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:15,852
Yeah, Buck is convinced
he heard the bells
270
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:19,113
of the Old North Church in the
background when she called.
271
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,299
The "One, if by land, two,
if by sea" church?
272
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:23,526
As far as leads go,
is that a lead?
273
00:13:23,545 --> 00:13:25,619
CHIMNEY (over phone):
It's a place to start.
274
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,197
So, how's my apartment?
You trash the place yet?
275
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:30,308
Uh...
276
00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:32,535
It's fine, uh, but you seriously
277
00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:34,795
need to cancel
the diaper subscription, okay?
278
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,372
I'm running out of room here.
279
00:13:36,391 --> 00:13:38,483
Well, that explains
where they are.
280
00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:41,319
Why do you think Maddie
went to that church?
281
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,137
I don't remember her
ever going to mass.
282
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,657
No, but I hear there's
a pretty great pizza joint
283
00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:47,975
-around the corner.
-So, where you staying?
284
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,719
♪ One night to be confused... ♪
285
00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:53,389
Room rate's a lot lower than
what you're paying at the hotel.
286
00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:54,907
You sure about this?
I mean, it feels like
287
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,650
one hell of an imposition, Eli.
288
00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,154
Nah. We don't come down here
that much this time of year.
289
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:03,675
Once opening day rolls around,
that's a different story.
290
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:07,328
We'll be gone by April,
I promise.
291
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,996
I just got to find Maddie first.
292
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,849
You do your thing.
293
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,183
Thanks.
294
00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:15,169
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
295
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,930
♪ To lean on, wouldn't be... ♪
296
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,266
So, the detective still said no?
297
00:14:20,418 --> 00:14:22,752
ATHENA (over phone):
He said there wasn't much
he could do,
298
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,195
but he did take
Buck's statement,
299
00:14:24,347 --> 00:14:27,256
and now he will file
a missing persons report.
300
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:29,275
-But that's it.
-Well, we have
301
00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:32,428
no proof that she's in Boston,
Chimney, or even anywhere
302
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,264
-in the state of Massachusetts.
-Commonwealth.
303
00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:37,358
-What?
-It's the Commonwealth
304
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,452
of Massachusetts. Apparently,
305
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,695
they really care
about that here.
306
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,606
(Jee-Yun crying)
307
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,032
(sighs)
308
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:47,368
CHIMNEY:
I'm coming.
309
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,721
I know, I know.
310
00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:51,723
Aw...
311
00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:54,784
(Jee-Yun crying harder)
312
00:14:54,802 --> 00:14:56,210
I know, I know.
313
00:14:56,229 --> 00:15:00,640
♪ To lean on, wouldn't be
good enough... ♪
314
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:04,127
Yeah, I wish your mom
was here, too.
315
00:15:04,145 --> 00:15:06,387
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
316
00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:09,056
♪ To lean on ♪
317
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,493
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
318
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,471
♪ And you... ♪
319
00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:17,974
-Hey, Gail.
-Good evening, Mr. Han.
320
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,191
I'd ask what brings you
in here today,
321
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,734
but I'm afraid
you're about to tell me.
322
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,404
I'm just doing the rounds.
Making sure you haven't admitted
323
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,314
a Maddie Buckley
or a Maddie Kendall
324
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,316
-as a patient.
-Mr. Han...
325
00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:29,719
I guess I'll hit
the morgue next.
326
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:35,082
Been to the women's clinic yet?
Next building over.
327
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,327
They specialize
in postpartum depression.
328
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:40,012
Thank you.
329
00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:42,423
Good luck.
330
00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:44,776
♪ Of above ♪
331
00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:46,110
♪ To lean on ♪
332
00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:49,614
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
333
00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,115
♪ To lean on ♪
334
00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:53,009
♪ To call for hands ♪
335
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:54,860
♪ Of above ♪
336
00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:56,937
♪ To lean on ♪
337
00:15:57,031 --> 00:16:00,500
♪ Wouldn't be good enough. ♪
338
00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:05,946
There you go, Jee-Jee.
339
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,873
It's your favorite.
340
00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:09,692
Come on, honey.
341
00:16:09,711 --> 00:16:11,377
Come on.
342
00:16:11,529 --> 00:16:13,546
It's your favorite.
It's vanilla bean...
343
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:14,955
ELI:
You know, this seems like
the part of the movie
344
00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,215
where the detective becomes
345
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,383
a little too obsessed
with the case,
346
00:16:17,535 --> 00:16:19,535
and his boss
has to send him home.
347
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:22,371
-First off, you're not my boss.
-(chuckles)
348
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,148
And, second, if we're
overstaying our welcome
349
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:25,966
-with you and Molly...
-No.
350
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,228
I don't care if you stay
in the basement forever. Okay?
351
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,731
Though, I may have to start
charging you rent.
352
00:16:31,883 --> 00:16:33,157
(crying)
353
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:34,826
ELI:
But I don't think
this is healthy, Howie.
354
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:37,144
I know it sounds crazy,
355
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,904
but I just got
this feeling that,
356
00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:40,498
one day, she's gonna walk out
357
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:42,000
of that building,
358
00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,151
and I want to be here
when she does,
359
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,745
even if it's not today.
360
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:47,079
Come on, baby.
361
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,155
You know that's not
how it works, right?
362
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:51,175
-What?
-The universe.
363
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:53,344
You've been sitting here
for months trying to manifest
364
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:56,255
Maddie walking out
of those doors, but...
365
00:16:56,407 --> 00:16:58,924
you know, have you considered
maybe there's a...
366
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,501
a cosmic tab
you got to pay first?
367
00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:02,428
I'm gonna go with "no"
'cause I have no idea
368
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,338
what the hell
you're talking about.
369
00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:07,859
Look, you need to stop being
so obsessed with what you want.
370
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,418
Okay, you need
to get off the bench
371
00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:11,512
and get back into the world.
It needs you.
372
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,814
To do what?
373
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,284
To be of service.
374
00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:20,112
Maybe the universe
will return the favor.
375
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,124
Or give up and go home.
376
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:27,628
-Come on.
-All right.
377
00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:35,611
("Wild Rover" by
Dropkick Murphys playing)
378
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:38,264
(indistinct chatter)
379
00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:42,785
♪ And it's no ♪
380
00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:45,454
♪ Nay, never ♪
381
00:17:45,548 --> 00:17:48,140
♪ No, nay, never no more... ♪
382
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,385
Let us bow our heads.
As we gather
383
00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:53,462
this morning to honor
St. Patrick,
384
00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,740
let us give thanks
for this glorious day
385
00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:56,999
and the chance to come together
386
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:59,118
as Faith of Men.
387
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:03,806
I'm not feeling so good.
Ever since rehearsal
388
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:07,493
this morning, i-it's like I'm...
I'm having trouble breathing.
389
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:10,162
Well, what do you want me to do?
Just rally.
390
00:18:10,315 --> 00:18:12,498
We still got the parade.
391
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,074
Thank you, Lord,
for this time together,
392
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,742
and for continuing to guide us
393
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,596
and inspire us as we carry out
your good work.
394
00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:21,081
-...swelled up
just like a melon.
-MAN: Shut up!
395
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,375
Nobody wants to hear
about your glory days.
396
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,828
Stuff it, O'Malley.
Ain't nobody talking to you.
397
00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:28,088
Go to hell, jackass.
398
00:18:28,182 --> 00:18:29,256
Gentlemen, please. This is not
399
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,734
how Faith of Men
are supposed to behave.
400
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,355
Start playing.
401
00:18:36,524 --> 00:18:39,659
Maybe the music will
calm these idiots down.
402
00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:43,246
(bagpipes playing)
403
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,535
(groans)
404
00:18:49,687 --> 00:18:50,686
Oh, God. Murray!
405
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:53,256
(grunting)
406
00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,306
CHIMNEY:
All right, let's make
a hole, guys.
407
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:04,200
I'm confused.
Why are they serving beer
408
00:19:04,293 --> 00:19:06,144
-at a prayer breakfast?
-Eggs and kegs.
409
00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:08,962
-St. Patrick's Day tradition.
-If you say so.
410
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,297
What happened here?
411
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,983
Uh, he went down
while we were playing.
412
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,392
Before that, he said
he was having trouble breathing.
413
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,611
Randall, let's get him
on some oxygen.
414
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:24,220
BP is extremely elevated,
160/95.
415
00:19:24,238 --> 00:19:27,331
Heart rate is rapid
and irregular.
416
00:19:28,559 --> 00:19:31,410
Legs and ankles also appear
to be swollen.
417
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:34,230
Oh. Pitting edema.
418
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:35,989
Could be possible
right-sided heart failure.
419
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:37,324
Does your friend have a history
420
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,751
-of heart trouble?
-No, not that I know of.
421
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,236
-What about diabetes?
-JOE: No.
422
00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:41,570
He's not the healthiest guy,
but I never
423
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:43,014
heard him mention
anything about diabetes.
424
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:44,665
Um, he has had a cough
for a while.
425
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,475
Cough.
426
00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:52,264
Getting a crackling sound.
427
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,508
Sounds like serious lung damage.
Is he a smoker?
428
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,085
Not Murray.
He never touched them.
429
00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:57,344
Maybe pulmonary fibrosis,
430
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,845
but what would cause him
to go down now?
431
00:19:58,865 --> 00:19:59,939
Are you for real asking me?
432
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,014
Because our volunteer training
433
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,107
didn't go that in depth.
434
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,351
You're like, smart.
435
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,370
You're volunteers?
I called the paramedics.
436
00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:08,873
And we arrived first 'cause
our tent is across the street.
437
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,358
-Medical Volunteer Corps.
-Okay.
438
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,452
Looks like he's coming around.
439
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,046
Welcome back, Murray.
Let's figure out
440
00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,380
what's going on with your lungs.
441
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:19,032
-Bagpipe lung.
-That can't be a real thing.
442
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,110
Hypersensitivity pneumonitis,
443
00:20:21,128 --> 00:20:23,203
if you're looking
for the medical term.
444
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,114
Happens to people
who play wind instruments,
445
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:26,682
and also bagpipes.
446
00:20:28,377 --> 00:20:31,287
W-What are you doing?
You're gonna ruin his bagpipes.
447
00:20:31,305 --> 00:20:32,638
Yeah. Pretty sure
they're already ruined.
448
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:36,067
I'm gonna need a biohazard bag.
These are full of mold.
449
00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,401
You've been inhaling this
for God knows how long.
450
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,570
It's wreaked havoc
on your lungs.
451
00:20:39,722 --> 00:20:41,221
When was the last time
you cleaned those things?
452
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,723
Never.
453
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,057
That'll do it.
454
00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:46,226
You're lucky. If you kept going,
455
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,561
these bagpipes
would've killed you.
456
00:20:47,655 --> 00:20:50,248
They're gonna do X-rays
and bloodwork
457
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:53,251
at the hospital,
probably put you on
458
00:20:53,327 --> 00:20:56,420
corticosteroids to reverse
the damage.
459
00:20:56,572 --> 00:20:59,298
(applause)
460
00:21:01,168 --> 00:21:02,151
(Chimney exhales)
461
00:21:02,169 --> 00:21:03,094
Bagpipe lung.
462
00:21:03,245 --> 00:21:04,820
First time I've seen that.
463
00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:06,079
Buckle up, my friend.
464
00:21:06,173 --> 00:21:08,081
You're about to have
a lot of firsts today.
465
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,083
What do you mean
you're a volunteer?
466
00:21:10,177 --> 00:21:12,495
Boston Medical Volunteer Corps.
467
00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:14,179
It's mostly handing out
Band-Aids and
468
00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:16,256
bottles of water
to drunk people.
469
00:21:16,425 --> 00:21:17,924
There have been
a few doozies, though.
470
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:19,335
You ever hear of bagpipe lung?
471
00:21:19,353 --> 00:21:21,279
Well, it sounds like
you're really settling in
472
00:21:21,506 --> 00:21:22,671
to life in Boston.
473
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:24,448
Honestly, I really signed up
to keep busy.
474
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,675
Just wish it really
kept me paid, too.
475
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:29,345
My savings account balance
is getting pretty low.
476
00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:33,349
Well, you still have a full-time
job waiting for you here.
477
00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:34,350
Chim?
478
00:21:34,443 --> 00:21:36,685
People are starting
to ask questions.
479
00:21:36,704 --> 00:21:38,537
My answer is still
the same, Bobby.
480
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,298
-I'm not coming home
without Maddie.
-(man whoops, glass shatters)
481
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:42,616
All right, I got to go.
482
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:45,136
(line beeps)
483
00:21:45,363 --> 00:21:47,013
(sighs)
484
00:21:48,165 --> 00:21:49,865
MADDIE:
When I came here, I didn't
485
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:51,884
know what to expect.
486
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:52,977
I felt so many
487
00:21:53,128 --> 00:21:54,145
terrible things about myself,
488
00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:56,889
I thought
everyone else would, too.
489
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:58,131
Then, when I got here,
490
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:01,710
um, I realized
I wasn't crazy or...
491
00:22:01,729 --> 00:22:03,612
alone.
492
00:22:04,882 --> 00:22:06,657
You guys healed me.
493
00:22:06,809 --> 00:22:08,308
You made me feel stronger,
494
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,328
and I finally feel like
I'm ready to go home.
495
00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,497
So, I just wanted to say
thank you to all of you.
496
00:22:13,724 --> 00:22:16,292
I'm very grateful.
Es-Especially you, Kira.
497
00:22:17,986 --> 00:22:20,671
Oh, special shout-out.
498
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,414
(laughs)
499
00:22:22,567 --> 00:22:24,324
Lucky me.
500
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,011
You were there
when I needed a friend.
501
00:22:27,238 --> 00:22:28,829
I couldn't have
done this without you.
502
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,240
Hmm. Okay, let's all,
503
00:22:31,258 --> 00:22:34,501
let's all give her
a round of applause.
504
00:22:34,595 --> 00:22:38,522
(sighs) I'm so glad
that you are fixed.
505
00:22:38,674 --> 00:22:40,416
VAL:
I don't think that's what
Maddie's saying, Kira.
506
00:22:40,509 --> 00:22:42,918
None of us have it figured out.
If we did,
507
00:22:42,937 --> 00:22:45,087
-we wouldn't be here.
-Whatever.
508
00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:48,774
I am so happy for you.
509
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,442
Okay? But, too bad
510
00:22:50,595 --> 00:22:53,412
for the rest of us who still
have problems. (laughs)
511
00:22:54,523 --> 00:22:55,539
VAL:
(sighs) That's it, everyone.
512
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,525
Have a great afternoon.
I'll see you next time.
513
00:22:58,619 --> 00:23:01,337
(quiet chatter)
514
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,367
(sighs, clears throat)
515
00:23:07,461 --> 00:23:08,944
Hey, Kira, wait a second.
What was that?
516
00:23:08,963 --> 00:23:11,130
I'm really not in the mood
517
00:23:11,282 --> 00:23:12,890
-for a lecture.
-Okay, that's fine.
518
00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:14,100
I just wanted to check on you
519
00:23:14,209 --> 00:23:15,208
'cause you don't seem
like yourself.
520
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,136
Mm. Maybe it's the depression.
521
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,546
Maybe it's the whiskey. (sniffs)
522
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,305
You're drunk.
523
00:23:20,458 --> 00:23:23,049
What do you care? (laughs)
524
00:23:23,218 --> 00:23:24,627
You're leaving.
525
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,313
My only support system's
just hightailing it out of here.
526
00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:33,226
I came here to get well
and to go home to my family.
527
00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:35,579
That was the plan,
for both of us.
528
00:23:35,806 --> 00:23:37,564
(scoffs)
529
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:41,252
I've messed up too badly.
(chuckles, sniffles)
530
00:23:41,403 --> 00:23:43,254
I don't deserve to be a mom.
531
00:23:43,481 --> 00:23:46,090
Okay, you know what? I told
myself exactly that same thing
532
00:23:46,241 --> 00:23:49,075
six months ago, and I was wrong.
533
00:23:49,170 --> 00:23:50,744
I got better.
534
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:51,929
You can, too.
535
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,340
Not by this afternoon.
536
00:23:55,509 --> 00:23:56,583
Ugh.
537
00:23:56,677 --> 00:23:58,936
I have a supervised visitation.
538
00:23:59,087 --> 00:24:00,345
No, no, no. You can't, you can't
539
00:24:00,498 --> 00:24:02,255
-show up like this.
-I can't not show up.
540
00:24:02,349 --> 00:24:03,832
Okay, what time
is the appointment?
541
00:24:03,926 --> 00:24:06,694
Um... 3:00.
542
00:24:08,189 --> 00:24:10,531
Come on, I have an idea.
543
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,269
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no.
544
00:24:16,363 --> 00:24:19,181
I-I-I cannot be admitted. No.
If my ex finds out,
545
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,791
I won't be able to see my son.
I'm sorry...
546
00:24:21,018 --> 00:24:22,108
Okay, I'm not admitting you.
547
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,035
I'm not admitting you.
I'm helping you.
548
00:24:23,187 --> 00:24:25,354
(sighs) Sit right here.
549
00:24:25,447 --> 00:24:27,798
I'm gonna get you a banana bag.
It'll sober you up.
550
00:24:27,984 --> 00:24:29,525
I'll be right back.
551
00:24:29,543 --> 00:24:31,552
Maddie?
552
00:24:33,030 --> 00:24:35,639
Why is your face
on the bulletin board?
553
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,358
What?
554
00:24:48,804 --> 00:24:50,321
That's you.
555
00:24:50,472 --> 00:24:52,973
Oh, my God,
he's still looking for me.
556
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,493
I thought you said he hated you.
557
00:24:56,979 --> 00:24:58,704
You lied.
558
00:24:59,982 --> 00:25:02,241
-I didn't lie.
-All this time,
559
00:25:02,393 --> 00:25:05,077
I thought that we were
in the same boat.
560
00:25:05,229 --> 00:25:07,153
Being punished by our exes.
561
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,656
Not being able
to-to see our kids.
562
00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:13,235
But you could've
gone back any time, right?
563
00:25:13,254 --> 00:25:16,847
I'm fighting like hell
to see my son,
564
00:25:17,074 --> 00:25:18,257
and you left them.
565
00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:19,517
I had to.
566
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,502
Okay? It was dangerous
for her and for me, and I...
567
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:25,748
I needed to get help
and to get better.
568
00:25:25,841 --> 00:25:29,752
Congratulations, Maddie.
569
00:25:29,754 --> 00:25:31,445
You're better.
570
00:25:37,094 --> 00:25:39,370
You don't need me anymore.
571
00:25:41,023 --> 00:25:42,873
MADDIE:
Kira!
572
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:45,768
Excuse me. Sorry.
573
00:25:45,861 --> 00:25:47,169
Sorry.
574
00:26:02,377 --> 00:26:04,645
-(crowd cheering)
-(drums playing)
575
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,649
(bagpipes playing)
576
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,083
(firetruck horn honks)
577
00:26:26,234 --> 00:26:30,495
Snake bite. Looks like
localized tissue damage.
578
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:33,090
Let's immobilize his hand
and elevate it above his heart.
579
00:26:33,241 --> 00:26:35,408
Don't want it to swell
more than it is.
580
00:26:35,577 --> 00:26:36,652
Oh, no.
581
00:26:36,745 --> 00:26:39,338
The venom's making
my heart swell.
582
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,173
Oh, I'm gonna die.
583
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:43,300
No, I meant your hand,
and statistically speaking,
584
00:26:43,527 --> 00:26:44,843
people don't die
from snake bites.
585
00:26:44,995 --> 00:26:46,178
Stupidity,
586
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:47,754
-that's another story.
-RANDALL: So, that's it?
587
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,348
What about a tourniquet?
Or maybe
588
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:51,166
we can cut it
and suck out the poison?
589
00:26:51,259 --> 00:26:53,277
That is exactly what you're
not supposed to do.
590
00:26:53,504 --> 00:26:55,170
-Antivenom is his best bet.
-Oh, it stings!
591
00:26:55,263 --> 00:26:57,189
And I don't know about you,
but I'm not packing any.
592
00:26:57,265 --> 00:26:58,190
That's not a bad idea.
593
00:26:58,266 --> 00:26:59,508
We should ask for that.
594
00:26:59,526 --> 00:27:01,510
Every year,
there's always some asshat
595
00:27:01,528 --> 00:27:03,862
dressed as St. Patrick
pretending to drive the snakes
596
00:27:04,014 --> 00:27:05,514
out of Ireland.
597
00:27:05,532 --> 00:27:07,607
And I thought Cinco de Mayo
in Los Angeles was crazy.
598
00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:11,036
-(bagpipes playing)
-(people whooping)
599
00:27:11,188 --> 00:27:13,538
Hey. Kira, it's Maddie.
600
00:27:13,691 --> 00:27:14,873
Um, just, please,
601
00:27:15,025 --> 00:27:16,525
call me, okay? I...
602
00:27:16,618 --> 00:27:18,552
Just want to make sure
you're all right.
603
00:27:20,622 --> 00:27:22,956
-Thank you.
-MADDIE: Sir,
I'm looking for a woman.
604
00:27:23,050 --> 00:27:24,141
She's late 30s. Blonde.
605
00:27:24,368 --> 00:27:25,200
About this tall
and probably drunk.
606
00:27:25,293 --> 00:27:26,644
Oh, a drunk woman.
607
00:27:26,795 --> 00:27:27,961
That narrows it down.
608
00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:30,564
You know it's
St. Patrick's Day, right?
609
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:34,393
Lean forward a bit for me.
There you go.
610
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:36,061
-If you could hold that, please.
-Nothing's broken.
611
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,213
Looks like he's all yours.
612
00:27:38,232 --> 00:27:39,973
OFFICER:
Thanks. Let's go.
613
00:27:40,067 --> 00:27:42,976
So this guy tried to
rob a bank with a stick?
614
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:46,388
Uh, technically
it's a shillelagh.
615
00:27:46,407 --> 00:27:48,724
-And a rubber one at that.
-What were you thinking?
616
00:27:48,817 --> 00:27:51,076
She stole me pot o' gold.
617
00:27:51,228 --> 00:27:54,579
You know you're not actually
a leprechaun, right?
618
00:27:54,732 --> 00:27:55,822
(laughs)
619
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,399
Hey, Kira, call me.
620
00:27:57,492 --> 00:27:59,159
I'm really worried about you.
621
00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,586
Hey, I'm gonna go grab a lobster
roll from the food truck.
622
00:28:01,739 --> 00:28:03,180
-You want anything?
-Sure.
623
00:28:03,331 --> 00:28:04,515
Just make sure there's
no mayo on it.
624
00:28:04,666 --> 00:28:07,759
I sense you have no idea
what a lobster roll is.
625
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,019
Just grab him one anyway.
626
00:28:09,171 --> 00:28:11,021
Three lobster rolls
coming up.
627
00:28:11,173 --> 00:28:14,674
So how is it?
Being of service again.
628
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:18,696
Honestly, it's the best
I've felt in probably a year.
629
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:20,030
(line rings)
630
00:28:20,257 --> 00:28:22,408
(siren whoops)
631
00:28:23,928 --> 00:28:26,595
Get in the car.
632
00:28:26,764 --> 00:28:27,520
(people screaming)
633
00:28:27,614 --> 00:28:29,448
-Hey, watch it.
-(shattering)
634
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,433
Come on.
635
00:28:31,452 --> 00:28:33,711
-(body thuds)
-MAN: Whoa. Is he all right?
636
00:28:33,862 --> 00:28:35,954
WOMAN:
Look at this.
637
00:28:36,106 --> 00:28:37,940
CHIMNEY:
Is that an axe?
638
00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:39,550
MAN:
You gotta see this.
639
00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,778
MAN:
Gabe. Gabe!
640
00:28:42,796 --> 00:28:44,704
Oh, my God, Gabe!
641
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,206
You did this?
642
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:47,632
We were axe throwing,
and he stumbled in front of me,
643
00:28:47,785 --> 00:28:50,060
and I-I hit him
instead of the target.
644
00:28:50,287 --> 00:28:51,470
No pulse. He's not breathing.
645
00:28:51,622 --> 00:28:52,804
I'd say start
compressions, but...
646
00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:55,182
There's an axe in his head?
647
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,309
Randall, that sandwich board,
bring it over here!
648
00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:59,294
ELI:
Okay. Okay, let's get him into
a seated position.
649
00:28:59,313 --> 00:29:01,196
CHIMNEY:
I got his head.
650
00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:05,225
-What do I do?
-Randall, put the board
behind him.
651
00:29:05,319 --> 00:29:06,910
Eli will hold him up
while I do compressions.
652
00:29:07,062 --> 00:29:08,912
-What do I do?
-Okay, hold his head,
653
00:29:09,064 --> 00:29:09,913
keep his airway clear.
654
00:29:09,990 --> 00:29:10,914
I can do that without
655
00:29:11,066 --> 00:29:12,750
looking at his head, right?
656
00:29:12,977 --> 00:29:14,209
Howie, on your count.
657
00:29:18,148 --> 00:29:19,757
Feels like old times,
doesn't it?
658
00:29:20,651 --> 00:29:22,760
Well, nobody's puked on me yet.
659
00:29:22,987 --> 00:29:24,261
(Randall gags)
660
00:29:24,488 --> 00:29:27,264
-Oh, God.
-That is not an invitation,
Randall.
661
00:29:27,916 --> 00:29:29,767
Pulse check.
662
00:29:29,994 --> 00:29:31,268
Pulse is back. We got him.
663
00:29:31,495 --> 00:29:33,270
Dispatch,
this is Paramedic Cobb.
664
00:29:33,421 --> 00:29:36,214
About to transport a young male
with an axe in his head
665
00:29:36,366 --> 00:29:38,183
to Mercy Shore Hospital.
666
00:29:38,260 --> 00:29:39,518
Okay, let's secure it
and move him.
667
00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:40,836
What can I do?
668
00:29:40,929 --> 00:29:42,095
You can take up chess.
669
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,782
-Oh!
-Sorry.
670
00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:47,025
I hate this day.
671
00:29:47,102 --> 00:29:50,012
(phone ringing)
672
00:29:50,030 --> 00:29:51,530
-Ah, Kira?
-MAN: No.
673
00:29:51,682 --> 00:29:53,849
This is the bartender
down at Father Sean's Pub.
674
00:29:53,851 --> 00:29:57,461
-I think your friend
needs some help.
-Okay.
675
00:30:03,285 --> 00:30:07,137
Hey. Our axe man's
heading into surgery.
676
00:30:07,289 --> 00:30:10,215
Okay, great.
Oh, my shift's over.
677
00:30:10,367 --> 00:30:12,868
I should get back, maybe,
and turn in this vest.
678
00:30:12,886 --> 00:30:15,795
-Oh, ride in the rig with me.
I'll drop you off.
-You sure?
679
00:30:15,964 --> 00:30:17,097
What if another call comes in?
680
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:19,149
I'll let you use
the lights and sirens.
681
00:30:19,301 --> 00:30:21,710
(music playing in distance)
682
00:30:21,879 --> 00:30:23,636
(gagging)
683
00:30:23,656 --> 00:30:25,730
Oh, God, she's puking.
684
00:30:25,899 --> 00:30:26,990
No. No, she's aspirating.
685
00:30:27,217 --> 00:30:28,808
Come on, we've got to
get her on her side.
686
00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:30,218
Kira?! Call 911.
687
00:30:30,237 --> 00:30:32,237
MAN:
All right.
688
00:30:32,981 --> 00:30:34,814
(phone dials, line rings)
689
00:30:34,834 --> 00:30:36,558
-OPERATOR: 911.
-Yes, I'm calling from
Father Sean's Pub.
690
00:30:36,651 --> 00:30:38,484
Kira, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
691
00:30:38,504 --> 00:30:39,744
MAN: We have a young woman
here who needs help.
692
00:30:39,897 --> 00:30:41,580
-We think she
might be aspirating.
-Wake up.
693
00:30:41,707 --> 00:30:44,007
Good. Good! There's a unit
just down the block.
694
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:45,992
-Good. Wave 'em down.
-Okay.
695
00:30:46,086 --> 00:30:47,419
Kira, come on, wake up,
wake up, wake up.
696
00:30:47,571 --> 00:30:48,846
-Come on, Kira, wake up!
-Over here!
697
00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,755
-Come on.
-MAN: Hey!
698
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:52,257
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
-Kira, wake up.
699
00:30:52,409 --> 00:30:53,833
-Over here.
-(siren wailing)
700
00:30:53,969 --> 00:30:55,168
MAN:
She's here. Come on!
701
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,520
MADDIE:
Oh, my God, hurry.
702
00:30:56,689 --> 00:30:59,005
MAN:
Over here. Over here.
She's right here.
703
00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:01,083
-Come on. She's right here.
-Excuse me. Excuse me.
What do we got?
704
00:31:01,101 --> 00:31:03,268
She's 38 years old.
Alcohol poisoning.
705
00:31:03,345 --> 00:31:05,253
She's aspirated vomit.
She's unresponsive.
706
00:31:05,347 --> 00:31:07,364
-ELI: How long has she been out?
-MADDIE: I don't know.
707
00:31:07,591 --> 00:31:09,349
I did a sternal rub
but she's not coming to.
708
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,684
-Is she on anything?
-Prescriptions for
antidepressants.
709
00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:15,205
-Any other drugs?
Illegal substances?
-I don't know.
710
00:31:15,357 --> 00:31:19,209
CHIMNEY:
Pardon me. Make a hole!
Coming through.
711
00:31:22,697 --> 00:31:24,381
Maddie?
712
00:31:26,627 --> 00:31:27,718
Howie.
713
00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:38,729
We have acute alcohol
intoxication,
714
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:41,139
heart rate severely low.
715
00:31:41,216 --> 00:31:43,458
BP 80/60 and she's cold
to the touch.
716
00:31:43,551 --> 00:31:46,361
-Let's start suction
and get her on a gurney.
-Copy that.
717
00:31:48,966 --> 00:31:50,223
You okay?
718
00:31:50,317 --> 00:31:52,910
Y-Yeah.
Is Jee with you?
719
00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:54,986
She's fine.
720
00:31:55,139 --> 00:31:56,154
She's staying with a friend
721
00:31:56,323 --> 00:31:58,156
while I play paramedic again.
722
00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,584
All right, suction's ready.
723
00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:10,410
38-year-old female
with acute alcohol poisoning,
724
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,578
unresponsive on the scene
after aspirating vomit.
725
00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:15,490
Administered fluid and bolused
one liter of LR.
726
00:32:15,509 --> 00:32:17,993
Used mechanical suction
to clear airway.
727
00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:20,312
Vitals are stable.
728
00:32:22,257 --> 00:32:24,274
(sighs)
I think she'll be okay.
729
00:32:24,426 --> 00:32:26,334
It's a good thing
you found her in time.
730
00:32:26,353 --> 00:32:29,020
I'm, uh, I'm Eli, by the way.
731
00:32:29,173 --> 00:32:30,689
We were never formally
introduced.
732
00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:33,858
-Maddie.
I've heard a lot about you.
-Same.
733
00:32:34,011 --> 00:32:35,177
You and that little girl
are about
734
00:32:35,195 --> 00:32:37,679
all he talks about these days.
735
00:32:37,698 --> 00:32:39,848
Where is he?
736
00:32:39,850 --> 00:32:41,274
Uh, probably outside.
737
00:32:41,368 --> 00:32:42,775
I think he needed a minute.
738
00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,170
Me, too.
739
00:32:46,356 --> 00:32:49,299
(sighs)
How is he... really?
740
00:32:49,451 --> 00:32:51,193
I mean, I know that I could
ask him myself.
741
00:32:51,211 --> 00:32:53,345
But he'd probably
sugarcoat it for you?
742
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:55,880
When he showed up,
he was a mess.
743
00:32:56,033 --> 00:32:57,457
He was worried about you.
744
00:32:57,551 --> 00:33:01,228
He was worried about Jee-Yun,
and he was racked with guilt.
745
00:33:02,372 --> 00:33:04,147
Guilt? I'm the one
that left.
746
00:33:04,374 --> 00:33:07,526
Yeah, but he's the one
that feels responsible.
747
00:33:10,230 --> 00:33:12,972
Eli said you would be here.
748
00:33:13,066 --> 00:33:15,242
He was right.
749
00:33:15,902 --> 00:33:17,143
He usually is.
750
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:20,555
It's one of his
more annoying traits.
751
00:33:20,574 --> 00:33:24,001
But actually,
this time he was wrong.
752
00:33:24,228 --> 00:33:26,911
You see, all those days
that I spent sitting
753
00:33:27,064 --> 00:33:28,396
right here on this bench
convinced
754
00:33:28,415 --> 00:33:30,656
you would walk out those doors,
755
00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:32,009
he said I was crazy.
756
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,252
And here you are.
757
00:33:34,329 --> 00:33:36,921
I know that you must have
a lot of questions.
758
00:33:37,074 --> 00:33:38,348
I know why you left, Maddie.
759
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,592
Still not sure why
you stayed away.
760
00:33:40,744 --> 00:33:42,335
Because I didn't think
I'd ever get better.
761
00:33:42,429 --> 00:33:45,171
And it didn't feel safe
to be around any of you.
762
00:33:45,265 --> 00:33:47,766
What happened with Jee-Yun
and the bathtub,
763
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,084
that was an accident.
764
00:33:49,177 --> 00:33:51,611
But trying to kill myself
wasn't.
765
00:33:55,034 --> 00:33:57,242
You what?
766
00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:00,612
When I dropped her off
at the firehouse I thought
767
00:34:00,764 --> 00:34:04,124
that's it, she's safe.
768
00:34:06,953 --> 00:34:11,790
So I drove up the coast,
I found a beach,
769
00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:14,468
and I walked into the ocean.
770
00:34:16,538 --> 00:34:18,463
My head was so full of
all the mistakes
771
00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:20,131
I had made in my life,
and I just thought
772
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:22,684
everybody would be
better off without me.
773
00:34:23,954 --> 00:34:26,788
Sad at first, yeah.
774
00:34:26,807 --> 00:34:28,506
But that would fade.
775
00:34:29,476 --> 00:34:31,142
And Jee, she's so young,
she wouldn't even
776
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:33,219
remember me as her mommy.
777
00:34:33,313 --> 00:34:35,655
How could you even think that?
778
00:34:39,970 --> 00:34:41,653
Maddie, if you died,
I would never...
779
00:34:41,805 --> 00:34:43,538
Never forgive yourself.
780
00:34:46,977 --> 00:34:49,669
I got out of the ocean for you.
781
00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:53,072
For both of you.
782
00:34:54,242 --> 00:34:59,638
But I had to stay here
to learn to stop running.
783
00:35:01,158 --> 00:35:02,599
Maddie...
784
00:35:04,161 --> 00:35:06,344
I would have done anything
to help you.
785
00:35:06,496 --> 00:35:09,664
I beat myself up every day
that I didn't do more.
786
00:35:09,683 --> 00:35:14,194
I'm so sorry for everything
that I put you through.
787
00:35:15,263 --> 00:35:17,781
I'm sorry that
I wasn't there for you.
788
00:35:17,932 --> 00:35:21,100
-You were there.
-Not enough.
789
00:35:21,194 --> 00:35:24,028
I blame myself for you leaving,
790
00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:26,498
for missing the warning signs.
791
00:35:28,702 --> 00:35:30,961
Or maybe ignoring them.
792
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:35,549
I just wanted so badly
for you to be okay, I just...
793
00:35:37,210 --> 00:35:40,137
I pretended that you were okay.
794
00:35:40,288 --> 00:35:43,473
I think I did, too,
for a while.
795
00:35:47,962 --> 00:35:51,648
(both sniffling)
796
00:35:51,875 --> 00:35:53,208
(Chimney exhales sharply)
797
00:35:53,301 --> 00:35:55,635
I guess we both spent
too much time
798
00:35:55,729 --> 00:35:58,730
hiding from the truth, and I
don't want to do that anymore.
799
00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:01,675
Me either.
800
00:36:01,677 --> 00:36:03,577
No more pretending.
801
00:36:05,313 --> 00:36:09,073
From now on, let's just
be honest about how we feel,
802
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:11,293
and what we want.
803
00:36:12,729 --> 00:36:14,296
Okay.
804
00:36:16,991 --> 00:36:18,592
What do you want?
805
00:36:21,588 --> 00:36:24,347
She should be awake
from her nap soon.
806
00:36:25,409 --> 00:36:27,442
-(coos)
-There she is.
807
00:36:27,444 --> 00:36:31,646
Look who's here, Jee-Yun.
It's Mommy.
808
00:36:34,584 --> 00:36:35,692
She's so big.
809
00:36:35,936 --> 00:36:38,695
I swear to God, I've been
feeding her normal portions.
810
00:36:40,090 --> 00:36:41,773
You probably want
to hold her.
811
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:43,849
Uh, she never liked strangers.
812
00:36:43,944 --> 00:36:45,702
Maddie, you're not
a stranger.
813
00:36:45,853 --> 00:36:48,780
I think I am.
814
00:36:48,932 --> 00:36:50,498
Maddie...
815
00:36:53,103 --> 00:36:57,105
She's grown up so much.
I missed it.
816
00:36:57,123 --> 00:36:58,957
I missed all of it.
817
00:36:59,051 --> 00:37:01,426
-(sobbing)
-(Jee-Yun crying)
818
00:37:13,065 --> 00:37:15,640
So you figure out what's next?
819
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,216
I mean, back to L.A.,
820
00:37:17,385 --> 00:37:19,644
or should I be getting you
a job application?
821
00:37:19,796 --> 00:37:21,220
I don't know.
822
00:37:21,314 --> 00:37:23,389
It didn't feel right
asking her about the future
823
00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:25,224
when she was so clearly
mourning the past.
824
00:37:25,318 --> 00:37:28,152
Not the glorious reunion
you'd been dreaming of, huh?
825
00:37:28,305 --> 00:37:30,396
I never really thought that far.
826
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:33,899
I mean, I imagined finding her
a million times, you know?
827
00:37:33,994 --> 00:37:37,145
I'd see her, she'd see me.
828
00:37:37,238 --> 00:37:39,756
Movie always ended right there.
829
00:37:39,907 --> 00:37:41,091
They live happily ever after.
830
00:37:41,167 --> 00:37:43,485
(scoffs)
Yeah.
831
00:37:43,578 --> 00:37:45,653
Kind of wishing
the end credit sequence
832
00:37:45,747 --> 00:37:47,347
was less of a bummer.
833
00:37:50,978 --> 00:37:53,603
You know, I was really mad
at her
834
00:37:53,830 --> 00:37:55,847
for not being there.
835
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:59,017
But tonight was the first time
I realize what leaving
836
00:37:59,169 --> 00:38:01,486
actually cost her.
837
00:38:03,598 --> 00:38:05,690
You know,
838
00:38:05,842 --> 00:38:07,450
after we had our girls,
839
00:38:07,677 --> 00:38:09,694
Molly wanted to
stay home with them,
840
00:38:09,846 --> 00:38:12,289
so I went back to work.
841
00:38:13,366 --> 00:38:15,292
And every time I left,
I always said the same thing:
842
00:38:15,519 --> 00:38:18,036
"I love you.
I'll call you later.
843
00:38:18,188 --> 00:38:20,538
Don't let 'em do anything cool
while I'm gone."
844
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,874
(laughs)
845
00:38:23,026 --> 00:38:24,617
Maybe if I'd just found her
earlier.
846
00:38:24,786 --> 00:38:26,361
You did everything
you could, Howie.
847
00:38:26,454 --> 00:38:28,638
All right, no matter
what else you're feeling,
848
00:38:28,865 --> 00:38:29,806
know that.
849
00:38:30,033 --> 00:38:32,083
I just wanted to fix her,
you know?
850
00:38:32,144 --> 00:38:33,626
Just make it all okay.
851
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:36,037
Even though you know fixing her
isn't your responsibility?
852
00:38:36,097 --> 00:38:37,705
Yeah.
853
00:38:37,799 --> 00:38:39,891
Why do I always do that?
854
00:38:39,985 --> 00:38:42,060
It's how you're wired.
855
00:38:42,228 --> 00:38:44,270
Helping people is how
you help yourself.
856
00:38:44,323 --> 00:38:45,897
And because you love her.
857
00:38:46,049 --> 00:38:48,641
(chuckles)
858
00:38:48,735 --> 00:38:50,327
(sighs)
859
00:38:51,237 --> 00:38:55,557
I knew I had missed a lot,
and it's been six months,
860
00:38:55,650 --> 00:38:56,724
but seeing her...
861
00:38:56,818 --> 00:38:58,560
Made it real?
862
00:38:58,578 --> 00:39:00,319
Too real.
863
00:39:01,489 --> 00:39:04,232
I just wasn't prepared for
how much it was gonna hurt.
864
00:39:04,325 --> 00:39:08,736
I mean, looking at her, I saw
every milestone I've missed.
865
00:39:08,755 --> 00:39:12,073
But that doesn't mean that
you can't be there for...
866
00:39:12,092 --> 00:39:14,267
all the other ones.
867
00:39:15,929 --> 00:39:17,203
What about you?
868
00:39:17,205 --> 00:39:19,581
Did you talk to
your social worker?
869
00:39:19,674 --> 00:39:21,140
(sighs)
870
00:39:21,193 --> 00:39:23,175
Yeah.
(clears throat)
871
00:39:23,195 --> 00:39:25,753
Um, I have to go back to detox,
872
00:39:25,755 --> 00:39:27,847
then...
873
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:30,925
another 60 days outpatient.
874
00:39:30,944 --> 00:39:32,660
And are you gonna do it?
875
00:39:34,097 --> 00:39:37,098
If I want to see my son.
876
00:39:37,117 --> 00:39:39,334
Yeah. I have to.
877
00:39:40,954 --> 00:39:44,622
Thank you for saving my life.
878
00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:48,033
I don't remember
everything I said,
879
00:39:48,111 --> 00:39:50,536
but, um, I know how I can get.
880
00:39:50,705 --> 00:39:52,947
-I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
881
00:39:52,966 --> 00:39:54,298
You were hurting.
882
00:39:54,467 --> 00:39:57,042
We're not always our best selves
when that happens.
883
00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:58,953
I'm really glad you're okay.
884
00:39:58,972 --> 00:40:00,880
Well, not yet.
885
00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:03,048
But I'm gonna keep trying.
886
00:40:03,217 --> 00:40:05,902
I have to.
(laughs)
887
00:40:06,129 --> 00:40:11,241
Not just for me, but for Robbie.
888
00:40:15,972 --> 00:40:18,164
Was I gone too long?
889
00:40:20,234 --> 00:40:22,810
I can't get back
the time I lost.
890
00:40:22,829 --> 00:40:24,829
No.
891
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:27,832
But you can move forward.
892
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:30,593
And the only way to do that
is to forgive yourself.
893
00:40:30,745 --> 00:40:32,153
And, Maddie,
894
00:40:32,172 --> 00:40:35,915
don't be afraid...
895
00:40:36,009 --> 00:40:39,185
to fight for what you want.
896
00:40:46,093 --> 00:40:48,352
(knocking, door opens)
897
00:40:48,505 --> 00:40:49,671
-Hey.
-Hey.
898
00:40:49,689 --> 00:40:51,305
Aww, how's my girl today?
899
00:40:51,307 --> 00:40:52,523
(Jee-Yun fussing, crying)
900
00:40:52,676 --> 00:40:53,933
(Chimney sighs)
901
00:40:54,027 --> 00:40:56,194
I promise it's not you.
902
00:40:56,288 --> 00:40:58,346
We walked by a park
on the way here,
903
00:40:58,364 --> 00:41:00,682
and she got very angry when
I said it wasn't playtime.
904
00:41:00,775 --> 00:41:04,368
Oh, that's okay, we can
go to a park. That's fine.
905
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:06,354
Uh, I think we should wait
at least an hour.
906
00:41:06,447 --> 00:41:07,797
I don't want to make it
look like
907
00:41:08,024 --> 00:41:09,357
I caved in to a tantrum,
you know.
908
00:41:09,450 --> 00:41:12,952
Right. Oh, right, she's old
enough to have those now.
909
00:41:13,029 --> 00:41:16,288
Oh... come on, Jee-Yun.
910
00:41:16,457 --> 00:41:17,365
Don't you want to say hi?
911
00:41:17,383 --> 00:41:19,642
(fussing, crying continues)
912
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:22,812
Come on, Jee-Yun.
913
00:41:22,964 --> 00:41:25,815
Don't you want to say hi
to Mommy? Hmm?
914
00:41:25,967 --> 00:41:28,226
(Jee-Yun crying harder)
915
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,378
I'm not gonna lie,
this might be worse than
916
00:41:30,396 --> 00:41:32,655
going through colic
all over again.
917
00:41:32,882 --> 00:41:34,157
Can I try something?
918
00:41:34,384 --> 00:41:38,244
Be my guest, but don't be
offended if it doesn't work.
919
00:41:40,557 --> 00:41:44,892
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
920
00:41:44,911 --> 00:41:46,244
(crying stops)
921
00:41:46,396 --> 00:41:49,506
♪ Round and round ♪
922
00:41:49,733 --> 00:41:51,007
-♪ Round and round ♪
-(Jee-Yun laughs)
923
00:41:51,234 --> 00:41:53,343
You like that?
924
00:41:53,570 --> 00:41:55,178
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
925
00:41:55,405 --> 00:41:58,756
♪ Go round and round. ♪
926
00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:00,833
-Mama.
-(gasps)
927
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,076
Did she just...
928
00:42:02,095 --> 00:42:04,762
She recognized your voice.
929
00:42:04,856 --> 00:42:06,189
How does she remember me?
930
00:42:06,416 --> 00:42:08,249
Of course she remembers you.
931
00:42:08,268 --> 00:42:10,026
Six months, six years.
932
00:42:10,253 --> 00:42:12,362
Neither of us could
ever forget you.
933
00:42:13,514 --> 00:42:16,257
(sighs)
Okay.
934
00:42:16,276 --> 00:42:18,660
So, what do you want
to do now?
935
00:42:20,263 --> 00:42:22,372
I want to go home.
936
00:42:26,027 --> 00:42:29,379
-Okay.
-Okay.
937
00:42:29,572 --> 00:42:30,788
Hi. Hi.
938
00:42:30,940 --> 00:42:33,124
-Go home with us, Baby Jee?
-Want to do it again?
939
00:42:33,276 --> 00:42:35,200
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
940
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:37,111
BOTH:
♪ Go round and round ♪
941
00:42:37,204 --> 00:42:38,296
MADDIE:
Whoo!
942
00:42:38,390 --> 00:42:39,797
♪ Round and round ♪
943
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,599
♪ Round and round. ♪
944
00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:46,545
Each year, for every one person
that dies by suicide,
945
00:42:46,623 --> 00:42:49,899
316 others consider
taking their own life
946
00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:51,959
but do not go through with it.
947
00:42:52,128 --> 00:42:53,461
If you or someone you care about
948
00:42:53,479 --> 00:42:55,554
is contemplating suicide,
help is available.
949
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:59,317
Call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline at:
950
00:42:59,469 --> 00:43:02,287
1-800-273-8255.
951
00:43:02,396 --> 00:43:05,248
Or visit
suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
952
00:43:05,475 --> 00:43:09,160
The Lifeline is available
24/7 across the United States.
953
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:11,254
It is free and confidential.
954
00:43:11,423 --> 00:43:13,981
There is hope. There is help.
955
00:43:13,983 --> 00:43:16,384
And you are not alone.
956
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,582
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
957
00:43:23,676 --> 00:43:27,395
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org