Attention, citizens of the Internet.
We are calling upon every able-bodied viewer
for another adrenalized tour of duty for Shay's Army.
I am General Shay.
And I am Major Mitch.
- And I'm Jess... - Shut the hell up, Jessie.
Seriously, no one's gonna recognize you.
Not without a microwave cemented on your head.
We're coming to you live from Hacienda Park
where we have a stunt so daring...
A video so bold...
- It might... - Just...
BOTH: Break the Internet!
We're about to turn this merry-go-round...
Into a scary-go-round.
(LAUGHS)
- (ENGINE REVS) - Oh.
Daddy likes. Whoo!
Jessie, you ready to take a ride
into infinity and beyond?
Perfect.
- Ready, set... - MITCH: Spin.
(ENGINE REVVING)
SINGER: ♪ Raise hell, baby, drop them bones ♪
♪ Raise hell, baby, sell that soul ♪
♪ Raise hell, heaven fare thee well ♪
Look at him go. It's beautiful.
(BOTH LAUGH)
SINGER: ♪ Oh, my, my ♪
♪ Oh, hell yeah ♪
♪ Somebody gotta, gotta raise a little hell ♪
(ENGINE REVVING LOUDLY)
Oh, you're really burning rubber.
SINGER: ♪ Somebody's gotta, gotta raise a little hell ♪
- (ENGINE POPS) - (BOTH LAUGH)
- MITCH: Whoa! - SHAY: Oh. Oh.
SHAY: Yo, shut him down, man.
- (GROANS) - JESSIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Not again!
JESSIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
_
(SIREN WAILING)
CHIMNEY: So what, now they got self-driving motorcycles?
HEN: Wouldn't that defeat the point?
That rider couldn't have gone far.
Buck, Eddie, hose that down and turn that bike off.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
♪♪
EDDIE: Think I saw Christopher
watching a video like this online.
That bike wasn't on fire.
Hey, can you hear me?
Oh! Oh.
Uh...
All right, let's get him off of there.
♪♪
(GRUNTING)
HEN: His pupils are extremely dilated.
Globe luxation in both eyes
causing them to bulge out.
Blood pressure's off the charts.
- HEN: Starting a line. - Albert, what happened to him?
CHIMNEY: Depending on how many times
he was spinning around like that, it could be G-lock.
G-force poisoning from the force of the spin?
Right now, all his blood is pooling inside his head.
It's pressing against his brain.
That's why he's out cold.
We don't get that swelling down, he could have a stroke.
We've gotta get him stable enough for transport.
Running isotonic fluids.
Wait, I feel like I know this guy.
CHIMNEY: All right, BP's stabilizing.
Administering numbing drops.
CHIMNEY: I'll hold back the curtains
while you show these guests to their seats.
HEN: All right.
Here you go.
♪♪
Cap, we're good here.
All right, let's get him up and transported
to the nearest neurosurgery trauma center.
I can see. Thank you.
Who did this to you?
BOBBY: Oh, I have an idea.
♪♪
You think Jessie's okay? He looks really messed up.
I'm sure he's fine.
Maybe we should go to the hospital.
ATHENA: Afraid you're gonna be otherwise occupied.
You're under arrest for trespassing, vandalism,
reckless endangerment, and disturbing the peace.
- You can't prove anything. - Don't need to.
You fools livestreamed your confession on the Internet.
BOBBY: Hey, guys. Remember us?
You've gotta be kidding me. How small is this town?
Don't think you're posting that without our permission.
Yeah, even if you did,
just gonna get us more followers.
Nah, this is just for an audience of one.
(SIREN WAILING)
Man, I really need new friends.
- (PHONE BUTTONS BEEP) - (SIREN WHIRS)
(SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC)
♪♪
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -
Oh, I know that smile.
Pair of aces.
♪♪
Flush.
- Oh! - Yes!
He falls for it every time.
How does this keep on happening?
Because you suck at poker.
Spoken by someone who also sucks at poker.
No judgment, but maybe you should quit while you're behind.
Wow.
Who needs more wine? Kay.
I'm gonna need something stronger.
Thanks again for having me. This was fun.
For some of us.
Well, all our couple friends were busy,
so we figured we would target solos.
If I didn't know better, I'd say you were setting us up.
Oh, no, I like you way too much to set you up with my brother.
Uh, hey now.
And I love you too much
to let you keep being
so incredibly, tragically...
Some might say embarrassingly.
Single.
Tragic seems a bit much.
Closest you've gotten to turning on a woman
in the past few months is shouting out, "Hey, Siri!"
BUCK: Well, she's very good to me.
She sings me songs, she delivers me food,
she tells me where to be, when, and how to get there,
and that is pretty much love.
- The rest I... - Ew, no!
Oh, no, no, no. Dear God, I don't wanna know.
All right, all right, just ease up on the solos.
It's hard out here.
See? Thank you.
It's LA.
Everybody's always in their car
or looking at their phones.
Or in their car looking at their phones.
And we're stuck with online dating, which is...
An absolute nightmare.
The crazies, the randos, the catfishers,
and not to mention the liars.
Profile pics brought to you by Photoshop.
Face it, guys. You two got lucky.
BUCK: They did.
You guys have no idea how hard it is out there
for the solos.
Mm.
Where's Albert tonight?
- (LAUGHS) - He's on a date.
- Come on. - (LAUGHTER)
Perfect.
- (BELL RINGS) - Looking for room 203.
(SIGHS)
Didn't it just go from 201 to 205?
Oh, it's the next one on the left.
Lab classrooms have a different layout.
Of course they do. Thank you again for coming.
Don't know if I'd be able to navigate
the confusing waters of parent-teacher night
without you.
Well, knowing these things is sorta my job.
Okay, follow my lead.
Try to ignore these teachers' corny jokes.
What jokes?
What do you call a number that won't sit still?
A roamin' numeral.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
♪♪
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs!
I don't think he got it.
No, I... I did. (CHUCKLES)
Christopher shows a great interest in science,
though he does keep telling other students
tsunamis aren't a big deal, which is unhelpful.
I'll make sure to talk to him about that.
Thank you.
♪♪
No jokes?
I try to tell chemistry jokes,
but there's no reaction.
Get it? No reaction?
Ah, you weren't kidding about the jokes.
Well, hopefully the English teacher has a better shtick.
- (DOOR SQUEAKS) - So sorry to keep you waiting.
My last student's father asked
a surprising amount of questions.
I'm sure he did.
Good to see you again, Ms. Price.
And you must be Mr. Diaz.
Please, call me Eddie. It's short for...
Edmundo?
Most people guess Eduardo.
Growing up, I had a grandfather named Edmundo.
He was my favorite.
Mine too. I mean...
So let's talk about Christopher.
He's been doing really well in my class.
His verbal skills have definitely improved.
He's still a little shy about reading out loud,
but he definitely understands the material.
I attribute that to him being read to from an early age,
so bravo there.
No, we have his mother to thank for that.
Christopher tells me you've kept it up
since she's been gone.
I try to do the voices, but she was better at it.
Oh, I'm sure you're no slouch.
Oh, no, he isn't.
(LAUGHS)
Christopher is also one of our most popular students.
He loves making the other kids laugh.
- Is that a problem? - ANA: Not at all.
He's a very sweet and kind boy.
You're doing a great job.
Thank you.
(HEARTFELT MUSIC)
We gonna talk about that?
That I'm basically raising a funny, popular, young genius?
That has a pretty young thing for an English teacher.
Was she pretty? Didn't even notice.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I must have you confused with someone
who couldn't stop gazing into Ms. Flores's big blue eyes.
They were brown.
And you're right.
Too bad you didn't notice.
(LAUGHS)
♪♪
NURSE (OVER INTERCOM): Paging Dr. Becker.
Dr. Calloway.
Sergeant Grant. Good to see you.
- How's your husband? - Bobby's doing well, thank you.
You called in a gunshot wound?
Yes. Female, early 50s.
Came in complaining about headaches
and some disorientation.
Now, given the scar tissue,
I'm going to estimate this bullet has been there
for two, maybe three months.
Wait. This is an old gunshot wound?
Yes.
Why wasn't it reported the day it happened?
Because that woman didn't even know she had been shot.
Not until today.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- (KNOCKS) - ATHENA: Joan?
This is Detective Romero.
He needs to ask you...
More questions?
I really think this has to be a terrible mistake.
I promise you I have never been shot.
In the head or anywhere else.
It feels like something I'd remember, don't you think?
Ma'am, we saw the X-rays.
So did I. And Dr...
- Calloway. - Yes, Dr. Calloway.
He seems like a lovely man,
but hospitals always make mistakes.
I've heard stories about people
having the wrong limbs amputated.
ROMERO: Well, the doctor seems pretty sure,
so we need to investigate,
find out what might've happened to you.
So the doctor thinks that if you were shot,
it would've happened sometime in January,
maybe early February.
Did anything during that time period happen
that was unusual?
Not really. My life is pretty boring.
It's just me and my husband.
Where is your husband? Is he on his way?
No, he's out of town. Golfing I think.
Maybe Pebble Beach.
He took early retirement last year,
so he is always looking for things to do.
Me, I am a happy homebody.
I should call him, shouldn't I?
Oh, you know,
I probably have the information in here.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Joan, you came into the ER with a headache.
Do you get those a lot?
Never used to, but now it seems like I always have one.
I tried cutting out caffeine
and red wine and bacon, but still.
Oh, here.
Thank you.
Do you normally write everything down?
JOAN: Always prided myself in remembering things.
Names, phone numbers, birthdays.
But you get older,
and you start to need a little help.
- Joan, are you okay? - JOAN: Ooh.
I think I need to talk to that doctor again, um...
- JOAN: Dr... - Calloway?
Yes, thank you. Oh, my memory is terrible.
Do you mind if we keep this? We'll return it.
JOAN: Oh, go right ahead.
- Thank you. - Thank you, Joan.
Mm.
(SIGHS)
She really doesn't remember being shot.
I'm not sure she wants to.
You think it's the husband.
I think that no one ever really knows
what goes on inside of a marriage.
Sometimes, not even the people inside it.
Carla.
What the hell happened?
I told you Christopher is fine.
You didn't have to come down here.
It's just some scrapes and bruises.
He hurt himself? How?
Well, it turns out that Christopher and skateboards
don't get along very well.
- You let him skateboard? - I am so sorry, Mr. Diaz.
We didn't know one of the kids had brought a skateboard.
You didn't know?
He could've broken his neck.
I know, and I feel terrible.
The other kids were showing him how to ride it
- and they didn't know that... - Didn't they?
No, let's push the kid with CP around on a skateboard for fun.
You let them make a fool out of my son.
Eddie.
I promise you that's not what happened here.
(GROANS)
Christopher. Hey.
(WHISPERS) Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
I'm sorry about my clothes.
No, don't worry about that.
I could run to the house,
get some clean clothes for him to change into.
No, we're done for the day.
Come on. We're leaving.
But school isn't over.
It is now.
♪♪
Uh-huh.
(SIGHS)
Well, I appreciate that, Principal Summers.
Okay. Thank you.
So should I expect some kid's head on a spike
at tomorrow's drop-off?
They sent skateboard kid home early.
Principal's gonna meet with the parents in the morning,
figure out what the punishment should be.
And what about the kid who fell off the skateboard?
Think I should punish Christopher for getting hurt?
No,
but I think you should talk to him
about how he got hurt.
I know Christopher wants to be like all the other kids, but...
You want me to tell him he's different?
He already knows that.
You need to teach him what it means.
That he has limitations.
♪♪
I'm not gonna tell my kid that.
♪♪
Hey, buddy. How you feeling?
Dumb.
What? What are you talking about?
Everybody saw me fall.
People fall. It happens.
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Mm-hmm, that boy should've never pressured you
into getting on that skateboard.
It was my idea.
(LAUGHS)
It was your idea to get on the skateboard?
Looked fun. It wasn't.
Chris, why would you do that?
You had to know it'd be dangerous.
You always said I can do anything.
You lied.
♪♪
Okay, it worked. You inspired me.
I don't think I meant to, but you're welcome.
I may have reactivated one of my dating profiles.
(GASPS) Really?
I spent two hours on the phone the other night
talking to a cute guy who seems sweet and funny
and not at all like one of those chat room psychos.
Wait, how can you tell?
His profile contains actual sentences
with correct grammar and punctuation.
There was even a successfully deployed semicolon.
Ugh, I never use semicolons. I just don't get the point.
Anyway, we're meeting up tonight
in a public setting,
and I am really looking forward to it.
I just...
What?
I don't want the one-night stand.
I'm tired of being alone.
Aside from my coworkers,
the most meaningful relationships in my life
are made 10 minutes at a time
with people I'll never see or talk to again,
some of whom don't survive.
It sounds silly, but he calls,
and I'm excited to answer the phone
for the first time in a long time.
I don't think that sounds silly at all.
So you don't think online dating is a terrible idea?
I think everyone has a match.
You just have to find him.
Hey, guys. Tessa here.
I'm 27 and from the Bay Area.
Full disclosure, I'm a vegan,
so living that plant life, but otherwise normal.
I just reinstalled this app on my phone.
Please don't make me regret it.
Hello, women of the Internet.
I'm Gary.
I like long walks on the beach,
deep conversations,
and other boilerplate dating clichés.
Hoping to find someone sweet
to get me off this godforsaken app,
so let me know.
(DINGS)
- SINGER: ♪ On an evening in Roma ♪ - _
♪ Though there's grinning and mandolining ♪
- ♪ In sunny Italy ♪ - _
♪ The beginning has just begun ♪
- ♪ When the sun goes down ♪ - _
(STOMACH RUMBLES)
Oh, yeah. Just right there.
(BOTH LAUGH)
SINGER: ♪ That is one too few ♪
(EXHALES)
- ♪ On an evening in Roma ♪ - _
♪ Don't know what the country's coming to ♪
- ♪ But in Rome, do as the Romans do ♪ - _
- ♪ Will you? ♪ - _
- ♪ On an evening in Roma ♪ - _
(TOILET FLUSHES)
♪ Though there's grinning and mandolining ♪
♪ In sunny Italy ♪
(WATER BUBBLES UP)
♪ The beginning has just begun ♪
♪ When the sun goes down ♪
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
♪♪
Come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no. Oh, no.
Oh, shoot!
SINGER: ♪ But in Rome, do as the Romans do ♪
♪ Will you? ♪
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
Okay, come on.
(SINGING IN ITALIAN)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SINGER: ♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
♪♪
♪ Down each avenue or via, street or strata ♪
Come on, come on. Come on.
(SQUISHES)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
SINGER: ♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
♪ Do they take 'em for espresso? ♪
Come on.
Come on!
(GRUNTING)
Oh, God. Okay.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Okay.
SINGER: ♪ Don't know what the country's coming to ♪
♪ But in Rome, do as the Romans do ♪
Come on.
(GRUNTS)
SINGER: ♪ On an evening in ♪
_
(SIREN WAILING)
(TENSE MUSIC)
Bathroom door's locked.
Eddie, can you move her or not?
Not there yet, Cap.
♪♪
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...
- Watch out! - (SQUISHES)
- Oh! - Oh.
And I thought the new baby went everywhere.
This is not the fairytale romance I had in mind.
So what, bad date and you were trying to escape?
No, there was a whole Lemony Snicket level
of things that went wrong here.
- She clear of the door? - Sure is, Cap.
Do what you gotta do.
♪♪
TESSA: Oh, God.
He's never gonna wanna see me again.
I'm sorry. I'll pay to fix that.
Okay, guys, let's try to gently pull her through.
BOBBY: Ma'am, I need you to exhale.
Okay.
BOBBY: Okay, stop.
She's not gonna come out the way she went in.
Cap, this is original wood.
We can't just poop out the top panel.
Pop. We, uh, can't just pop out the top panel.
Sorry.
We have to take apart the frame.
Guys, we're gonna need the saws.
You're gonna cut the window?
This just keeps getting worse.
Ma'am, just try to stay calm. How's she looking, Hen?
Vitals are good. Just breathing a little heavy.
Are you in pain?
No,
but has anyone ever died of actual shame?
I'm sorry, Gary.
This is not how I wanted our first date to go.
It can only get better from here, right?
I've always wanted a bay window.
He's probably never gonna wanna speak to me again,
and you have no idea how hard it is
- to meet someone these days. - BUCK: Oh, believe me,
as a fellow solo, I know.
Eddie might've finally met someone special.
Then he went and bit her head off.
Now she'll never talk to him again
and will probably flunk his kid.
♪♪
Well, you kinda did.
MAN: Saw's on its way up, Cap.
Are you guys using a saw?
♪♪
(WOOD CRACKING)
BUCK: All right, guys. We got her out.
Can you take a deep breath for me?
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Any pain in your ribs?
I'm okay.
You good? All right.
♪♪
I'll call a Lyft.
Oh.
Or you... or you could stay.
SINGER: ♪ So please meet me in the plaza ♪
- ♪ Near your casa ♪ - _
♪ I am only one ♪
- ♪ And that is one too few ♪ - _
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
Pretty sure all kids call their parents liars
at some point.
Yeah, well, feels a little different
when you hear it coming out of your kid.
Just wait till he gets to the
"I don't have to do what you tell me" phase.
Aren't you still in that phase?
The thing is, he's right.
I lied to him.
Or maybe I lied to myself.
Either way, I feel like a fool.
I spent years trying to convince my kid
to believe in the Easter Bunny.
But now I gotta tell him none of it's real.
Yeah, I think you might be overcorrecting here.
Told him he's no different than the other kid.
But he is. He has CP.
There's a lot he can't do.
Have you ever heard of Jim Abbott?
- Baseball player? - Mm-hmm.
Pitched a no-hitter in the '90s,
which in itself is pretty crazy,
but it's even crazier
if you know that Jim Abbott was only born with one hand.
Yeah, really.
I read his book when I was in the hospital.
Okay.
How'd he do it?
He practiced switching his glove
to his throwing hand relentlessly
so that he could field after he pitched.
I like the positivity.
I'm just not sure how any amount of practice
is gonna help Chris stay on a skateboard.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
♪♪
I'm not an invalid, you know.
I can still get groceries for myself.
I'm doing something nice.
Say thank you.
Ooh. Thank you.
Huh. You're welcome.
So what's happening now with your bullet lady?
They removed the bullet this morning,
so just waiting on ballistics
to give us a clue to something.
Well, what about the husband?
♪♪
ATHENA: Claims he has no idea how his wife got shot.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you more.
ATHENA: He actually tried to interrogate us.
Yeah, the best defense is a good offense.
What about his alibi?
Well, we don't even know when she was shot.
I mean, without a specific timeline,
we can't prove anything.
And the wife still doesn't suspect him at all?
ATHENA: They say love is blind.
But in this case, I think willfully so.
♪♪
I mean, she went from having a great memory
to forgetting the name of the doctor
that she met an hour ago.
Never prone to headaches,
but now she chewing aspirin like they breath mints.
I mean, her whole life fell apart.
But she chose not to seek help for months.
Well, maybe she just can't believe
the man that she married could ever hurt her.
Hell, he's her husband. She thinks she knows him.
Yeah, sometimes you don't know who you married to,
and sometimes, they don't want you to know.
The truth eventually comes out, though.
But maybe with this,
it'll come out with your bullet.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You know, the surgeon said
that taking it out wasn't that hard.
I mean, they were worried about the location of the bullet,
the risk of taking it out, but as it turns out,
she's just fine.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh, Athena.
Well, you know, now I finally know
the motive of the groceries.
Look, I am not having this conversation again.
I am not doing that surgery.
So you're just gonna wait to die.
(SIGHS) I'm going through another bout of radiation.
The doctors put my name on a list for a trial
for this new chemotherapy pill.
You know, it's showing some promise
for shrinking tumors.
- How much promise? - Look, I know that you think...
That you are a fool.
Look, I wanna be supportive, Michael,
I wanna respect your wishes, but...
♪♪
I do not want you to die.
Me either. Okay?
♪♪
(PHONE DINGS)
(SIGHS)
♪♪
Oh, ballistics just came back. They found a match.
Does the gun belong to the husband?
Worse.
It belongs to the wife.
(LAUGHTER)
FRANKENSTEIN: Seem to be quite a few books.
BLUCHER: This was Victor's.
His parents' medical library.
FRANKENSTEIN: And where is my grandfather's private library?
BLUCHER: I don't know what you mean, sir.
FRANKENSTEIN: Well...
- (ROMANTIC MUSIC) - Captain Frankenstein.
♪♪
(PHONE WHOOSHES)
(LAUGHTER)
Stay close to the candles.
- Greg? - You must be Josh.
It's really nice to meet you.
As first dates go, I gotta admit you chose well.
You know, you don't usually think of the cemetery
as a romantic place for a date,
but it's quaint, kind of kitschy,
and there are plenty of exits
in case one of us turns out to be too sketchy.
I figure there is nothing more romantic
than watching an old movie
snacking on the graves
of the people who used to make them.
Thank you.
If the zombies rise up, we'd be eaten
by all the silver screen starlets and screenwriters.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - I love it.
Cheers.
♪♪
Do you understand?
I understand, I understand.
(BOTH LAUGH)
And you like it there? It's not too stressful?
No, it's unbelievably stressful.
But how many jobs can you go home at the end of the day
and feel like you've made a difference?
I'll never be rich. I'll never even be recognized.
But I'll be...
worthwhile.
You know, I remember when going to the movies
was about making out in the back row.
I heard Rudolph Valentino's grave is somewhere around here.
Maybe in the back row.
♪♪
This is exactly what I said I wouldn't do on a first date.
Oh, come on. This is the fun stuff.
MAN: Took you long enough.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Uh...
okay, I don't know what you guys are into,
but it definitely doesn't feel like my scene.
You know, for somebody who spends their days
listening for clues,
you sure managed to miss all of 'em.
(GRUNTING)
No. Please.
Hey, I'm not the one who went online
begging somebody to play me.
(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)
♪♪
Let's go.
MAN: Hey, what's going on over there?
_
(MACHINES BEEPING)
Oh, my God.
Josh, are you okay?
I'm okay.
- What happened? - I got jumped.
They took my keys, my phone, my wallet,
beat the crap out of me.
For a minute there, I...
I thought they were gonna kill me.
Was this after your date? The movie thing?
It was my date.
- He was the one. - Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
He set me up.
Him and his friend. I never even saw it coming.
I am an idiot.
I thought he was sweet.
- That he liked me. - No.
You just trusted the wrong person.
- (KNOCKS) - BRANFORD: Mr. Russo?
We had officers canvass the cemetery.
There's still no sign of your phone,
but they recovered your keys and your wallet.
I'm afraid the cash was gone though.
At least they saved me the hassle
of replacing all my credit cards and IDs.
BRANFORD: You can pick up your things at the station.
A detective will take your formal statement then.
Does that have to happen tonight?
I'm just really worn out.
Well, you know what? You can just stay with me tonight
and I'll drive you to the station in the morning.
BRANFORD: Of course. Tomorrow is fine.
Are you sure you didn't recognize either man?
No identifiable features?
No. Sorry.
BRANFORD: Look, we'll do our best,
but I need to set your expectations.
No, I know the drill.
If it's okay, I'd like to get out of here
and just put this whole night behind me.
Call us if you think of anything else.
Thanks.
- Josh. - I already feel like a fool.
I don't need the rest of the world in on the joke.
Okay.
(TENSE MUSIC)
♪♪
- ATHENA: Nothing? - No sign of the gun.
Or any gun.
No ammunition, no gunshot residue, no blood.
The house is immaculate.
Ha!
♪♪
Ma'am? Hi, LAPD.
May we speak to you a moment?
I don't see why not. Just doing a little yard work.
Yes, Detective Romero was remarking
on how lovely your yard looks.
Being out here does take up most of my day.
Oh, I'm sure you see everything that goes on around here.
I am also the president of our neighborhood watch.
I take that responsibility very seriously.
Mm.
How well do you know the Wallaces?
We wave occasionally. I always liked Joan.
Never that sure about Henry.
Then he retired, and I finally was able to make up my mind.
I don't like the man.
Between you and me, I'm not sure Joan does either.
They weren't getting along?
You know, people used to retire at 65
back when life expectancy was 68.
Now, it's all early retirement
and late life divorce.
I'm sorry, but I don't understand
what any of this has to do with the break-in.
Someone broke into their home?
I assumed that was why you all were here.
Though honestly, you are a little late to the party.
That must've been three months ago.
Did the Wallaces tell you they'd had a break-in?
No. Their contractor did.
That window there was replaced.
The contractor hauled away some furniture and a rug,
a bunch of Christmas decorations.
Said he painted and redid the floors too.
Redecorating the crime scene?
That's why we couldn't find anything.
Didn't see Joan or Henry for weeks.
They were out of town.
Do you remember when all of this happened?
January 11th.
Would you like the contractor's information?
Yes. Then I'd like to hug you.
(CHUCKLES)
I think it'd be best if Mr. Wallace stepped outside.
That's silly. Henry should stay.
My memory is terrible. Maybe he can help.
You can have this back. We made a copy.
Thanks.
I was wondering where that had got to.
ATHENA: When we were looking through it,
we noticed that there didn't seem to be any entries
about your trip, or the living room remodel.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Did we remodel the living room?
No, that's right. We did.
I just don't remember why, though.
We just finished the house last year.
Why did we redo the living room?
Do you remember what happened on January 11th?
Maybe you were taking down Christmas decorations?
No, we always take those down right after New Year's.
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
♪♪
Henry, what happened to that rug?
Oh, I loved that rug.
Why did we replace it?
There was an accident.
♪♪
JOAN: (BREATHING HEAVILY)
(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
Henry...
♪♪
What did you do?
♪♪
What did you do?
♪♪
(INDISTINCT NEWS REPORT)
I thought you were gonna take down those wreaths for me.
- In a minute. - JOAN: No more minutes.
We should've put all this stuff away last week.
What happens if we don't?
Does the world come screeching to a halt
because the wreaths are up past MLK Day?
I don't know why you're like this.
I miss when you used to work for a living.
Yeah, well, you've never worked a day in your life.
Oh, the hell I haven't.
I have taken care of this house
and I've taken care of you for the last 30 years,
and all I ask is that you...
And all you have asked
is that I work 60-plus hours a week
to support you and this house
and whatever ridiculously expensive hobby
your heart desires.
Ceramics class?
- (CERAMIC SHATTERS) - Henry, what did you do?
Do you know how hard I worked on that?
No, but I know how much it cost me
for you to learn how to make something
that I could buy for 20 bucks!
Glass-blowing lessons!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
What are you doing?
This is my time!
My retirement!
And I'm not gonna let you rule my golden damn years
the way you rule the rest of my damn life.
(WOOD CRASHES)
♪♪
Fine.
(QUIETLY SOBBING)
I will deal with the decorations myself.
I always thought when you retired,
it would be our time.
Our time together.
♪♪
I know you're upset about something,
but I'm your wife,
so you're stuck with me.
♪♪
(GLASS SHATTERS)
JOAN: You shot me.
♪♪
I don't know what came over me.
The thought of 30 more years in that house with you, and I...
♪♪
Call it temporary insanity.
Well, you are certainly within your rights
to make that case to a judge.
I'm sorry, Joanie.
I regretted it immediately after I did it.
I tried to make it up to you as best I could.
After.
You lied to me.
All this time, you knew what was wrong with me,
and you kept telling me it was all in my head.
Well, I guess it was,
because you put it there.
♪♪
Now, you're gonna be okay.
He played me for a fool.
And you just showed him that he was wrong.
Chris. Come on, buddy.
Eat something before school.
I don't feel well.
You sick?
Hmm.
You sure?
I don't wanna go.
Okay.
(GRUNTS)
(SOLEMN MUSIC)
♪♪
You still upset about the other day?
I just wanna be like everyone else.
I know.
But you're not.
I know I told you you can do anything,
and that was a dumb thing for me to say.
Because I have CP.
No.
Because...
Nobody can do everything.
And yes,
there are things in life
that you're not gonna be able to do.
And there's other stuff that you are gonna be able to do,
but it's gonna be a lot harder than it is for the other kids
because you have CP.
I'm sorry. I won't skateboard again.
It's not about the skateboarding.
I just don't want you to be scared.
You tried something, and it didn't work out.
Maybe the next time it does.
But you can skateboard.
You know what I can't do?
- Cook? - (LAUGHS)
Hey, that's not nice.
But probably true.
I have black thumb.
I've killed every plant that's ever been given to me.
But your science teacher told me
that you did the best job
out of your whole class
growing plants from seeds,
so there's something you're better at than me.
- Really? - Really.
I don't want you to ever stop trying.
But maybe...
until you get a little older,
maybe we try new things together, okay?
Okay.
You're not like any other kid.
You're my kid.
I love you more than anything in this world.
I love you too, Dad.
Aw. Mwah.
♪♪
Sorry, is this a bad time?
Mr. Diaz.
Eddie.
Please.
I wanted to apologize for the other day.
I was out of line and you didn't deserve that.
You had every right to be upset.
It's my job to look after your son
and I failed to do that.
I'm just relieved Christopher is okay.
Yeah, I fight so hard to try and protect him,
I forget falling down is a part of life.
It's supposed to teach us how to get back up, right?
Yes.
There's a lot to be said for getting back on the horse,
but there's also some value
in learning that you don't like horses.
I'm sorry?
Sometimes, our limitations tell us when to stop.
But sometimes, they can show us where to look next.
Today, he falls off the skateboard.
But tomorrow, he writes the great American novel.
I know you said he was doing good in class, but...
(LAUGHS)
Okay, maybe not tomorrow, but...
Someday.
Yeah.
Someday.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
- MADDIE: Welcome back! - (ALL CHEERING)
Thank you.
If I'd known I'd get this much attention,
I would've gotten mugged sooner.
(LAUGHTER)
Hi.
- Ah, there he is. - Good to see you, thanks.
- Hey, welcome back, Josh. - Good to see you.
- Thanks. - Josh, you're back!
Okay.
You didn't tell them. Thanks.
You asked me not. I'm still not sure why.
- This was not your fault. - I should've known better.
It's not too late to go back to the police.
You know, I tried to pull up his profile,
get a copy of his photo, but it's gone.
Completely scrubbed. It was a total scam.
Yeah, that probably means he's done it before.
If you could get them a description of him,
maybe they could find him.
- I mean, he hurt you. - Bruises are healing.
The humiliation, that's a little harder to get over.
And to have it written down in some report
for strangers to see?
I can't, Maddie.
So what, you're just gonna act like it didn't happen?
No, I'm not.
I'll deal with it.
In my own way.
(NOAH AND THE WHALE'S "BLUE SKIES")
(PHONE RINGING)
♪♪
9-1-1. What's your emergency?
SINGER: ♪ This is a song for anyone ♪
And can I get your location?
SINGER: ♪ With a broken heart ♪
Okay.
(BOTH LAUGH)
- Nice. - Yeah.
SINGER: ♪ This is a song for anyone ♪
♪ Who can't get out of bed ♪
♪♪
♪ 'Cause it's time to leave ♪
♪ Those feelings behind ♪
(KNOCKING)
♪ Oh, 'cause blue skies are coming ♪
Thought you could use some carbs.
SINGER: ♪ But I know that it's hard ♪
(LAUGHS)
♪♪
Dad,
I don't wanna be here.
Trust me, it'll be fun.
BUCK AND CARLA: Hey, Chris!
Surprise!
- What's that? - Hey, remember when I told you
that if you wanted to try something new,
we should try it together?
Yeah.
Let's try skateboarding.
- Okay. - Okay!
♪♪
Ready to ride?
Ready!
Away we go.
(ALL CHEERING)
♪♪
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -