1 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:08,269 ♪ 2 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,358 [muffled grunting] 3 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,545 SUE: No. Put me d-- Put me down! 4 00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,113 [grunts] 5 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,419 DIRK [sinister voice]: Please remain calm. 6 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:32,554 You do not know me, but I am not here to hurt you. 7 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:35,339 Really, Dirk? I could smell your eau de toilette 8 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,080 all the way here. And the mask? 9 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,995 -Come on! -[stammers] 10 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,084 Look, I know we've been going through a rough patch lately, 11 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,086 and that's why I brought you here. 12 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,740 What, you really think kidnapping me 13 00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:46,568 is going to win me back? 14 00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,657 Strawberry, this is for your own good. 15 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,833 I'm d-- I'm doing this for us. 16 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:54,358 Dirk, I've been a hostage the entire time we were together. 17 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,186 Don't you understand? 18 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:57,883 I know that's not true. 19 00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,712 I me-- we have so much love for each other. 20 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:04,020 Remember that night we went camping at Frog Hollow? 21 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,979 It started raining, so we went to the car 22 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:10,244 and you climbed on top of me, and then I climbed 23 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,812 -right back on top of you. -[gags] Stop. 24 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,728 I'm not gonna get upset because I know this is not you. 25 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,034 It definitely is. 26 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,602 No, it definitely is not, but... 27 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,170 I actually have some exciting news for us. 28 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:26,999 Your husband is currently working with the Bureau. 29 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,263 [chuckles] Sorry. You probably don't know what the Bureau is. 30 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,700 -The FBI. -What? 31 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,006 Yeah. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person 32 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,660 to escape that cult and 33 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,488 -live to talk about it, so... -It's not a cult. 34 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:41,927 And the Bureau just recognized the skills straightaway. 35 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:45,105 I just want you to know that my services are at your disposal. 36 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,672 Uh, I'm a team player. No task too small. 37 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:50,588 Seriously. Just excited to be a part of the conversation. 38 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,373 Uh-- uh, s-- hang on, sorry. 39 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,201 Are you talking to me? 40 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,986 It's sort of a consulting role, but I really think 41 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,770 it could lead to something more permanent. 42 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,729 You're telling me the FBI 43 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,123 have authorized you to kidnap me? 44 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,037 [stammers] Well, no. 45 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,823 But when I come back with you as an asset, 46 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,651 well, you can imagine. 47 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:13,176 Let's just say my back is ready for some awfully big pats. 48 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,961 I'm not your asset, you sad, sad man. 49 00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,225 That hurts, but you're not yourself. 50 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,488 -I'm completely myself. -And that's why I brought 51 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,359 someone who's an expert in these kinds 52 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:25,928 of brainwashing situations, a deprogrammer who's here to... 53 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,538 [Greg shushes] 54 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:31,063 I prefer the term "exit counselor." 55 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,022 Who are you? 56 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,893 Me? I'm many things. 57 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:38,070 I'm a security agent, I'm a piano tuner, 58 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,942 I'm a life drawing model. 59 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,162 It depends on the day and the call to action. 60 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:46,470 But right here, right now, um, I am a deprogrammer. 61 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:47,732 Exit counselor. 62 00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:50,213 Exit counselor. Yes. 63 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:54,304 It's nice to see that you're listening, Susan. 64 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,741 -It's Sue. -I prefer Susan. 65 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:59,135 My full name is Sue. It's on my birth certificate. 66 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:04,314 But I... prefer Susan. 67 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,933 Bravo. [laughs] 68 00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:20,025 Cullen, look at you, escalating a nothing situation 69 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:22,767 into a full-scale siege? 70 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:28,730 You only did the exact opposite of what Fuller asked you to do, 71 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,254 which was observe and report! 72 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,865 Now we've got Risoli in a coma, 73 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:39,131 and the FBI has a potential Waco part two on its hands! 74 00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,830 Job well done, Special Agent Fuckhead. 75 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,614 MAN: Sorry, mic pack's dead. 76 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,964 What? Are you kidding me, Bo? 77 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,445 That is the third fucking time 78 00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:52,014 that I'm crushing a monologue, and you're not getting sound? 79 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:55,060 Okay, fine. Circle that take, I'll ADR it in post. 80 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:57,280 That's "additional dialogue recording." 81 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,239 Dude, you are doing great. 82 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,936 A-Are they gonna film everything we do? 83 00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,981 No, they're gonna film everything I do. 84 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:04,679 Wait, well, I guess, actually, which means 85 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,334 they're gonna probably film everything you're doing as well, 86 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:10,162 because my whole job here is to clean up your mess, 87 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:12,643 so do you want to work on, like, our dynamic? 88 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,733 -Like, what's your guy's story? -Yeah, I got a pitch. 89 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,474 What if I'm the guy in the documentary 90 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:20,695 who doesn't give a fuck about you or the documentary, 91 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,480 and I say we go in and take down the fucking Collective 92 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,961 'cause the cult leader fucking drugged me 93 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,224 and, uh, maybe it's time we got some fucking revenge 94 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,183 and we take these fuckers down. How about that? 95 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,273 [laughs]: Whoa, okay. 96 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,450 Save that gold for when we're rolling. 97 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,191 Y-You're giving a Christian Bale-level performance 98 00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,629 right now, and I want you to know, I'm seeing it, 99 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,458 you could be an antihero. Yergin? 100 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:47,243 Make a note of that. Maybe "Cullen as antihero," 101 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,810 question mark? 102 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,073 We can talk about that later on in notes call. 103 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,074 -MAN: All good to go. -Okay, we're back? 104 00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,380 We're in it? Okay? 105 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,685 Red leather, yellow leather, 106 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:55,947 red leather, yellow leather. 107 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,906 -[high-pitched]: Fa. Fa. -Are you okay? 108 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,473 -Do you want to do any warm-ups? -No. 109 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,301 So when we come back in, when I say "Action," 110 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:04,086 I want you to give me that exact speech you just gave me 111 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:07,568 about drugs and blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, ready? 112 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,526 And go. 113 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:14,139 Uh, uh, I-I was drugged, um, and, uh... 114 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,706 You know what? I'm just gonna go. 115 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,404 Oh, yeah, yeah. Why don't you get out of here? 116 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,188 Why don't you go before we make our day? 117 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,364 We have a shot list. Part of it is this scene 118 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,932 -we're doing right now. -I didn't know this was a scene. 119 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,629 I'm j-- I'm just trying to do police work. 120 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,370 So I'm gonna go do some police work, okay? 121 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:30,330 Okay, fi-- Yergin, send somebody to film him do police work, 122 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:33,768 and I'll do V.O. over it saying all the stuff about revenge. 123 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,204 -Can we do that? -YERGIN: Yeah. 124 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:36,684 -Okay, I'm going. -Okay. 125 00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,250 Yergin, C and D on him. 126 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,035 -Okay. -Thank you. 127 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:45,345 So, first up, I would like to apologize for the drama. 128 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,869 -The abduction? -Well, you say tomato, I say... 129 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,740 I say abduction. 130 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:53,962 Look, I know you've heard a lot about exit counselors. 131 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:57,487 You've read the books, you've listened to the podcasts. 132 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,750 -No, I haven't. -Oh, well, you should. 133 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,709 There's pretty interesting stuff. 134 00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:06,627 Coercion, uh, brute force, nonconsensual tickling. 135 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,107 You know. Yeah, all that stuff has happened 136 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,935 and may happen again. 137 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,764 But I'm not here to apologize for an entire industry. 138 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,592 Okay? I don't need to make friends. 139 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,726 I'm not trying to get in with the popular girls at school. 140 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,685 [chuckles] You understand? We're on the same page? 141 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,600 Uh, how long will this take? 142 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,864 Yeah, you're right. We should, uh, we should start, right? 143 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:30,346 [tongue clicks] Wrong. We already did. 144 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,392 And it's going great. 145 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:33,915 I can really see why Dirk picked you. 146 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,482 You guys are really perfect for each other. 147 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,918 Thank you, I appreciate that. 148 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:40,008 And, uh, you are gonna appreciate this: 149 00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:43,446 I'm gonna untie you, thus establishing trust. 150 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:47,189 Hopefully it's just the first step on us becoming friends 151 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,931 at the end, which is my preferred outcome. 152 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:53,108 So, uh, Dirk, release the hounds. 153 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,892 Uh, can I speak to you for a second? 154 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,198 [Greg grunts] 155 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,942 Are you sure about untying her? 156 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,248 Don't you ever question my authority 157 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:06,426 -in front of the subject again. -Sorry. 158 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:10,473 I'm establishing an "agreement and reward" relationship 159 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,694 based on mutual respect and trust, okay? 160 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,043 Okay. 161 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:17,872 -Okay. -I-I mean, I have questions, 162 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,178 but I'm certainly not gonna ask them. 163 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,006 Well, hang on to 'em. 164 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,226 -Okay, fine, I w-- I, look... -Jot 'em down. 165 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,272 Uh, fine, I'll untie her per your, per your steps. 166 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,492 This is insane, Dirk. 167 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,886 Wha-What was I supposed to do, huh? 168 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,976 Leave you in there? I-I can't lose you to a cult. 169 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,543 One, it's not a cult. 170 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:39,459 Two, how much is this guy costing you? 171 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,244 You can't put a price on freedom of the mind. 172 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,289 Exactly. Money is no object. 173 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,074 You've always known that about me. 174 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,684 How much? Come on, tell me. 175 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,338 All right, fine, full disclosure. 176 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:53,037 My services are $19.99 an hour. 177 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,822 You're paying him by the hour? 178 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,521 Every second ticking by, costing you money. 179 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,611 This doesn't bother me. And it's actually $25 an hour. 180 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,832 You didn't put the code "Greg" in at checkout? 181 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,835 [stammers] No. There was a-a code? 182 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,619 Yeah, yeah. If you put that in, uh, 183 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:13,014 -you get 20% off. -U-Uh, can I put it in now? 184 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,886 Uh, you have to put it in at checkout. 185 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,932 Oh, come on. Well, that's not a great system. 186 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,543 -Uh-- You didn't even... -It works for everybody else. 187 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,546 Next time you use my services, put the code word "Greg" in. 188 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,156 Well, what if this is the only time? 189 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,549 I can't keep having this argument 190 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,899 with every single client. 191 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,335 DIRK: Oh, so there are others 192 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,859 who have experienced this problem? 193 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,556 I don't build websites. 194 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,992 Oh, so it's not necessarily the code enterer, 195 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,428 it's the processee. 196 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,647 It's the people who make the website. 197 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,910 They also charge me. 198 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,262 Okay, give it to me. What's wrong with you today? 199 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:45,742 Is your herpes flaring up? 200 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:48,615 I don't have herpes. I'm upset, 201 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,617 -because of Jarrod. -Who? 202 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,141 Jarrod. My Jarrod. 203 00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:55,360 I have no idea what you're talking about. 204 00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,362 Are you kidding me? I've talked about Jarrod 205 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,060 about a million times. 206 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,670 He was my high school sweetheart? 207 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,498 Ugh. I would've hated you in high school. 208 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,849 All right. Just give me the "25 words or less" version. 209 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,156 He took my virginity on prom night and wouldn't return 210 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,288 my calls the next day or the day after that, 211 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:12,813 and then he moved away and we never spoke again. 212 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,075 I was crushed. 213 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,859 That was 33 words. 214 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,818 Jarrod found me on Facebook today, 215 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:20,908 after I "checked in" to this area. 216 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:23,737 -He just messaged me. -All right, what did he write? 217 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:27,262 "Oh, my God, I'm literally 300 yards from you." 218 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,742 He's working on the siege? 219 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,570 No, he's in the cult. 220 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,397 He wants to meet up tonight. 221 00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,921 That's brilliant. This is your chance to tell this guy 222 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,619 exactly how big of a piece of shit he is 223 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,316 for treating you so badly. 224 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,580 Really? You think I should go? 225 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,625 You tell that son of a bitch he's why 226 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,628 you're so emotionally stunted and why you lack confidence 227 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,587 and why you're always practically suffocating 228 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,110 in your own anxiety 229 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,591 and why you're always undermining yourself. 230 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,636 I guarantee you'll feel so much lighter 231 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,333 after dumping that weight. 232 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,988 Okay. You know what? I will. 233 00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,816 Thanks, Janice. 234 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,471 Jarrod deserves to hear this. 235 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:03,559 Who's Jarrod? 236 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,692 Jarrod from my story. 237 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,563 Jarrod from high school. 238 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,434 Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, that Jarrod. Right. 239 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,001 -Jarrod, who took my virginity. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. 240 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,090 I-I remember. Got it. 241 00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,484 So do you know who I'm talking about when I say "Jarrod"? 242 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,181 Let's just say I do and let's move on. 243 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:26,669 A clerk at a butcher shop stands five foot, ten inches tall. 244 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:29,193 He has size 13 shoes. 245 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,673 What does he weigh? 246 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,892 Meat. 247 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,720 Check the back of the book. 248 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,983 Yeah, yeah. Boy, you got that one. 249 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,420 Well done, brainiac. 250 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:42,598 Okay, how about one that I already know the answer to? 251 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,035 How much dirt is there in a hole 252 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:49,170 that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 253 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,954 I don't know, some. The usual. 254 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:54,654 There's no dirt in the hole, Susan, 'cause it's a hole. 255 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,091 Take back control of your mind. 256 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,701 Greg, let's do a deal. 257 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:02,096 You let me go now, and I will report you and Dirk 258 00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,750 to the authorities for abduction 259 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,839 and unlawful detainment. 260 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,277 -Uh, no deal. -No. Yeah, that is a hard pass. 261 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,672 And, uh, pro tip from a fellow negotiator: 262 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,717 don't start with your worst offer. 263 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,153 No, that was the best offer. 264 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,503 That's the best outcome for you both. 265 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,071 Okay, well, listen, if you're trying to scare me, 266 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,769 it's working. 267 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,902 I-I got to be honest, I don't really know Dirk here. 268 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,295 Um, I'm not getting a great vibe from him. 269 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,949 What? 270 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,821 I have no idea of the legality of this whole thing. 271 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:35,825 I may be a lot of things, but I'm no lawyer. [chuckles] 272 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,567 All I know is, we both love you. Right, Dirk? 273 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,743 Well, I certainly love her. 274 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:43,006 And I do, too, so that makes us both. 275 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,617 Okay, could you maybe address this extreme 276 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,924 personality change she's gone through? 277 00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,622 Her? I-- She seems the same to me. 278 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,799 You just met her. 279 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,714 Whose side are you on? 280 00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:58,369 -What? Look, I am on myside. -Jesus, Dirk, stop. 281 00:11:58,413 --> 00:11:59,762 And-and that's the side that you should be on, too. 282 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,503 -I'm paying you. -I'm a little pissed off 283 00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:04,419 to be having to hold your hand through this entire thing. 284 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:07,161 You don't want the cure to be worse than the disease. 285 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:11,165 You want 'em to be kind of on par, equal, that... 286 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,124 -You understand? -No, I don't understand. 287 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,561 Great, then stay out of my lane. 288 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,606 -[Sue grunts] -[glass shatters] 289 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,913 Let me go right fucking now! 290 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,044 There, you see what happens when you 291 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:23,046 question the process, Dirk? 292 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,615 Also, room damages are extra. That's in the contract. 293 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,009 I don't cover that. 294 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:32,229 ♪ 295 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,279 Wow, Fatima, look at you. 296 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,543 Did you get cryogenically frozen the day after graduation 297 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,240 and then defrosted last week? [laughs] 298 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,068 'Cause you look the same. 299 00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:48,028 No, actually, you look even more beautiful. 300 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,594 You got fat. 301 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:52,336 Huh? Oh, well, I mean, I guess I just fell on 302 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,817 some bad dietary habits, you know, after high school, 303 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,863 but I'm just so happy to see you. 304 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:59,300 I mean, I can't believe how long it's been. 305 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,823 Did you get shorter, though? You look like 306 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,652 you've been sleeping on an air mattress for 20 years. 307 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:06,133 It looks like you've melted a little bit. 308 00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,961 Did I do something to upset you? 309 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,614 Oh, wow. 310 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,008 You didn't mention you became a crack detective. 311 00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,444 Huh? 312 00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:16,143 You don't remember how we left things? 313 00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,840 How you took my virginity 314 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,537 and then threw it on the ground and pissed on it. 315 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:20,930 Wait, what? 316 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:24,542 I loved you and offered myself to you. 317 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,675 But then after, not a word. 318 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:29,025 You treated me like I was nothing. 319 00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:32,202 You know, I'm realizing right now, in this minute, 320 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,552 that I've actually been waiting to tell you 321 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,990 what a piece of shit you are. 322 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,557 And you did not deserve my virginity, 323 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:42,822 you fucking piece of shit dirtbag! 324 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,128 Asshole! Fuckface! 325 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,869 Whoo! 326 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,698 Wow, that felt really good. 327 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,788 I needed that. Thank you so much for messaging me. 328 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,008 That's how you remember it? 329 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,487 What are you talking about? 330 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,446 It was you who broke my heart. 331 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,056 Oh, come on. 332 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,016 Your memory's as ravaged by time as your face. 333 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,105 How could you have forgotten that you and all your 334 00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:08,325 popular girlfriends made a "losing your virginity" pact 335 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,110 on prom night? You remember that? 336 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,895 And that I wasn't really up for it because my... 337 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,680 my mom died a week before. You don't remember that? 338 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,769 What? Oh... 339 00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,206 -Yeah. -Right. 340 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,338 There was that, uh, portrait of your mom 341 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,428 on the bedside table, yeah, that you kept looking at. 342 00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:28,084 [sobbing quietly] 343 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:31,174 Well, it was great to catch up. 344 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:34,047 Good to see you, and, hey, how's your dad? 345 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:38,790 Never mind, you're kind of going through stuff, so... 346 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,271 it was really good to see you. Bye. 347 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,578 ♪ 348 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:46,624 Strawberry, we're only trying to help you. 349 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,888 We just want you to be free of that cult. 350 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,673 Right, so I can join your cult again, Dirk? 351 00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:54,067 Let me offer you a deal, okay, Susan? 352 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,199 Call me Susan one more time. 353 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,985 Okay, okay, Sue, how about this? 354 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,683 You give me 48 minutes, and if you still want to 355 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:05,078 go back to the cult, then we'll let you, right, Dirk? 356 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,557 Uh-huh. 357 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994 -You promise? -Cross my heart 358 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,126 and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. 359 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,694 Or, hell, both eyes. [chuckles] 360 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,305 I ain't using 'em anyways. What do you say? 361 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,569 All right, 48 minutes. Not a second more. 362 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,224 Perfect. I will set a timer. 363 00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:24,575 Okay, this has got addresses. Come on. 364 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:25,968 This doesn't have a stopwatch? 365 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,665 -The guy at the store said... -I got it. 366 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,580 -Go. -All right, so, 367 00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:33,193 what's so great about the Collective anyway? 368 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:36,022 I haven't felt this good about myself for a long, long time. 369 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,373 Over the years I've been losing my sense of autonomy. 370 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,331 I came to rely on Dirk for affirmation, 371 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,377 and my self-esteem was all but gone. 372 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:46,119 Okay, that's not true. You had some left. 373 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,991 -Not-not a lot, but some. -Shh, Dirk. Dirk! 374 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,775 Go on, please. 375 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:53,430 I didn't have real intimacy or any sense of belonging. 376 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:56,738 Dirk's own incuriosity had made me incurious. 377 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,740 That sounds like my first ex-wife. 378 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,177 But within 24 hours of meeting Terry, 379 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:04,528 oh, I felt self-actualized, heard, understood 380 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:07,401 and supported in a way I thought was no longer possible. 381 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,577 Terry sounds like a very special lady. 382 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:13,363 Is she single? [laughs] I'm kidding. 383 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,582 -Is she? -Greg, could I have 384 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,018 a private word with you? 385 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,759 This fucking guy. Don't know how you 386 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,500 put up with him for as long as you did. 387 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,197 Is this about the contract again? 388 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,199 No, this is-- Just come with me 389 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,766 for one second. 390 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,160 All right, whatever. Let's go. 391 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:30,424 Oh, my God, oh, my God, this is not going well. 392 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,991 I'm losing her. 393 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,514 -Yes. Well, you're losing... -I'm losing her, 394 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,429 and you're not helping. What are you doing? 395 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:36,517 -I'm... No, you'renot helping. -You're making it worse. 396 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,040 You'remaking it worse! 397 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,651 All I need is a half an hour alone with her, 398 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,827 and I can close this thing out. 399 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,960 Get-- Why don't you scram, huh? 400 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,614 Go grab some pizzas. 401 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,311 Just grab pizzas? 402 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:49,747 Yes, just get out of here, 403 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,706 go get some pizzas and bring 'em back. 404 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,795 Okay. Well, if you're sure this is the right... 405 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,797 I'm sure, 100%. 406 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,538 Dude, she is on the hook. 407 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,540 Alls I need is a little bit of time, 408 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,542 and I can reel her in, all right? 409 00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,066 You get back here, we'll have ourselves 410 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,503 a nice, well-earned pizza party. 411 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:10,203 Okay. Okay, I could really go for some pizza, to be honest. 412 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,509 And for my wife not being in a cult anymore. 413 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,424 And... loving me again. 414 00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,078 I can make it happen. 415 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,732 I'm trusting you with my wife, Greg. 416 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:21,040 [chuckles] I'm trusting you with the pizza order. 417 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,954 So, that's how it works, right? 418 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,782 Mutual trust. 419 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,830 Guys, let's get some contemplative B-roll 420 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,875 of just Cullen and I looking at the board, right? 421 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:33,182 We're, like, trying to decode the clues and all that. 422 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,271 Stay in it with me. Stay in it with me, Cullen. 423 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,838 [groans] 424 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:40,233 I got a bad feeling about this. 425 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,148 What even is this corkboard? 426 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,281 I mean, I've never seen one as large and elaborate as this one. 427 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,022 Well, now you have. 428 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,980 What do you think, we're catching the Zodiac Killer? 429 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,418 Nobody's even been murdered. What is this checklist? 430 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,942 "One: Follow the money. Two: Find the clue. 431 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,465 Three: Solve crime." 432 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,119 These are completely unrelated to the siege. 433 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,295 I mean, wh-why is there a ye olde photo 434 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,297 -of an abandoned mine? -You know what? 435 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:04,170 Cut, and take five. You guys go do crafty 436 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,694 and go 10-1, whatever, 10-2. 437 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,696 [laughs]: Mike, you can do 10-3 if you want. 438 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,306 You've got five minutes and a... 439 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,134 and a pretty strong Wi-Fi here, so... 440 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,876 [laughing]: go nuts, buddy. 441 00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,399 Dude, what the fuck are you doing? 442 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:17,922 You're fucking this whole thing up. 443 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:20,142 Don't question the set dec. 444 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,622 -Set dec? -Yeah, the set decoration. 445 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,189 This is here for a reason, okay? 446 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:24,973 Look, just for shits and gigs, 447 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,062 let me show you what we're dealing with here. 448 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,847 Thisis what we're really here for. 449 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,023 -What is this? -The future of the FBI 450 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,591 right here on this corkboard. 451 00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:38,334 Let me guess. You want to storm the compound 452 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,641 and end the siege, am I right? 453 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:41,555 Right. 454 00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:42,947 Wrong answer, Cullen. 455 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,819 We need to slow-play this. 456 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,648 The endgame is to create a narrative, 457 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:51,608 so that the documentary can unfold episode by episode, 458 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,090 allowing for cliffhangers at the end of each episode, 459 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:59,181 so that people have to watch the next episode. 460 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,704 You're not serious about any of this, right? 461 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,793 This is coming from higher-ups. Okay? 462 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:05,883 The Bureau is tired of watching our cases 463 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,582 get turned into IP for other studios, 464 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,106 networks and production companies. 465 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,369 We're not just law enforcement officers, 466 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,416 we are content creators, and what you need to ask yourself 467 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,897 right now is: are you going to be a part of this? 468 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:24,163 Because if you are not, we need to recast ASAP. 469 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,426 Yeah, I'm a part of it. 470 00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,471 Yes! You're not gonna regret this. 471 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:31,561 Also, lose ten pounds by Monday. 472 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,609 ♪ 473 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,964 GREG: Dearest Dirk, the good news is, 474 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,228 you don't have to share the pizza. Ha-ha. 475 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,099 The bad news is, the deprogramming 476 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:51,973 was unfortunately unsuccessful on this occasion. 477 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,845 Thank you for the opportunity to work with you today. 478 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,239 Although we didn't get the result we hoped for, 479 00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,286 I think we can agree that there were some good signs 480 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,113 and we all learned a lot. 481 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:04,246 As you know from the terms of service 482 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,683 that you agreed to, I don't provide refunds. 483 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,772 But I will offer you five percent off 484 00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:11,558 on any of my other services, 485 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,038 -save for marriage celebrant. -Strawberry? 486 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,910 Be sure to take a brief survey. 487 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:17,912 -[trembling]: Strawberry? -And, if you'd be so kind, 488 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:20,654 I sure would appreciate a positive review. 489 00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,699 Oh, no, no! 490 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:25,267 ♪ 491 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,799 ♪ I don't do roses anymore♪ 492 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:40,804 ♪ I don't believe your providence♪ 493 00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,851 ♪ Will be my valentine♪ 494 00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:48,812 ♪ I don't do roses anymore♪ 495 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:53,861 ♪ I keep the moths out of the cabin light♪ 496 00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:02,783 ♪ The full moon skipping through the trees♪ 497 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:05,873 ♪ But Mother Earth won't set her free♪ 498 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,791 ♪ No, it ain't free.♪ 499 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,793 MAN: Guh-doosh. 500 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,796 [whip cracking] 501 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,841 [drums beating, tribal grunt]