1
00:00:07,115 --> 00:00:09,073
Previously onNo Activity...

2
00:00:09,117 --> 00:00:11,684
It looks like my laptop
was hacked.

3
00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:14,296
And the hacker activated
the camera.

4
00:00:14,339 --> 00:00:15,775
Oh, you were jilling off.

5
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:18,300
Yeah, don'’t call it jilling off.That'’s what it is.

6
00:00:18,343 --> 00:00:20,041
I mean, this is jacking off,
this is jilling off.

7
00:00:20,084 --> 00:00:22,391
Half your softball team has
gone down for corruption now.

8
00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:24,393
Throw me a block. Are you gonna ride with me?

9
00:00:24,436 --> 00:00:26,090
Or are you gonna try your luck
on your own?

10
00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:28,658
Mm.CULLEN: Another wise
investment by Tolbeck.

11
00:00:28,701 --> 00:00:30,703
Man, you have been burning
through the money lately.[sighs]

12
00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:33,184
Janice, he sent the video.

13
00:00:33,228 --> 00:00:35,012
Everyone in the office
has the video.

14
00:00:35,056 --> 00:00:36,709
My name is Marco,
I'’m the new trainer.

15
00:00:36,753 --> 00:00:38,711
My name is Frank.
I don'’t get harassed.

16
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,148
And I don'’t get
fucking disrespected.

17
00:00:40,191 --> 00:00:41,366
If you don'’t mind...What the fuck?

18
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:43,107
Okay.You can'’t take my picture.

19
00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:44,413
I-I promise I'’ll erase it.

20
00:00:44,456 --> 00:00:46,241
MARCO:
Frankie, I'’m sorry to say,

21
00:00:46,284 --> 00:00:48,895
you'’ve made the board.
You'’re one of the bad guys.

22
00:00:48,939 --> 00:00:51,376
♪

23
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,031
TOLBECK:
Mmm.

24
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:55,554
Mmm.

25
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,513
That is great coffee.

26
00:00:57,556 --> 00:01:00,124
Thank you so much.

27
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:02,344
Oh, my God, it'’s my pleasure.

28
00:01:02,387 --> 00:01:04,650
Thank you guys--
thank you guys for having me.

29
00:01:04,694 --> 00:01:06,217
This is, this is amazing.

30
00:01:06,261 --> 00:01:07,740
You guys just like,
you have such,

31
00:01:07,784 --> 00:01:10,047
like, amazing energy.

32
00:01:10,091 --> 00:01:11,962
And I'’m just, I just feel
immersed in it.

33
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,355
Mm-hmm.And this is just,

34
00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:15,052
it'’s really great for me
to feed off of you guys.

35
00:01:15,096 --> 00:01:16,314
You'’re super legit.
Thank you. Cheers. Yeah.

36
00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:18,490
Oh, hey, there we go.Thank you.

37
00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:21,450
Well, we'’re big fans
of your work, too, right?Absolutely.

38
00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:22,538
Really? No.Yeah.
Oh, it'’s a real honor

39
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:23,626
to have you here with us.

40
00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:26,150
JESSICA:
So this is super weird.

41
00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:29,197
Maybe it'’s like a stereotype and
I'’m just, like, feeding into it,

42
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,287
Mm.but can-can we get doughnuts?

43
00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:33,636
'’Cause we're cops.Well, yeah, '’cause, you know,
coffee and doughnuts.

44
00:01:33,679 --> 00:01:35,507
Right.
Right, right, right.And you'’re, like,

45
00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:36,987
doing stakeouts, and you, like,
sit in the car and-and...

46
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,337
I don'’t know if there's
anywhere near here.

47
00:01:39,381 --> 00:01:41,426
Oh, there'’s one literally right
there, right on the corner.

48
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,559
It'’s just not the safest
part of town, is all.

49
00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:45,343
You'’re so sweet
for worrying about me.

50
00:01:45,387 --> 00:01:46,562
Well...
Oh.

51
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:49,565
Oh, my goodness.

52
00:01:49,608 --> 00:01:53,308
Well, she'’s nice.She'’s really nice.

53
00:01:53,351 --> 00:01:54,961
What has she been in?

54
00:01:55,005 --> 00:01:56,876
I don'’t know.
I-I thought you knew.

55
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,793
No. I just didn'’t want
to seem rude.
Hmm.

56
00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:02,447
Hey, is it me...
Hmm?

57
00:02:02,491 --> 00:02:05,015
...or was there kind of
a vibe going on there?

58
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,452
Between me and her?No, between meand her.

59
00:02:07,496 --> 00:02:09,062
Between you and her?Yeah, I thought she

60
00:02:09,106 --> 00:02:10,238
was maybe flirting
with me a little bit.

61
00:02:10,281 --> 00:02:12,022
[scoffs]
Are you kidding me?
Huh?

62
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,371
No.
Oh.

63
00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:15,199
She'’s, like,
a major celebrity.

64
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:16,679
You'’re a low-level detective.

65
00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:18,289
Okay. I-I'’m being
ridiculous.

66
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,465
No, I'’m kidding,
there was a total vibe.

67
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:22,293
Yeah?
Yeah. Dude,

68
00:02:22,337 --> 00:02:23,468
when she touched
your shoulder...
Yeah.

69
00:02:23,512 --> 00:02:25,557
...I got a chill.Oh, my God.

70
00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:27,646
Okay. You think she'’d
like a guy like me?

71
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,387
Yes. Are you...?

72
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,650
You got to stop
undervaluing yourself.
Yeah.

73
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,261
Dude, you'’re
a total smoke show.

74
00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:34,653
Don'’t say smoke show.Go for it.

75
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,002
Okay. Okay. I will.

76
00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:37,439
All right.
Okay.

77
00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:39,919
All right. Okay, I'’m gonna,

78
00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,704
I'’m gonna give you guys
some space, okay?
Yeah?

79
00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:43,836
Let'’s come up with a code.Okay, okay.

80
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,186
Uh...All right, uh...

81
00:02:45,229 --> 00:02:46,448
Oh, I got it.
Yeah.

82
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:48,493
I'’m gonna say, um,

83
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:51,714
"Well, I think it'’s time for me
to step out and have my cigar."

84
00:02:51,757 --> 00:02:53,629
And then you'’ll say,

85
00:02:53,672 --> 00:02:57,241
"Uh, are you crazy?
Those things will kill you."

86
00:02:57,285 --> 00:02:59,417
Okay. Why am I saying that?

87
00:02:59,461 --> 00:03:02,377
Because it just shows
you have some compassion

88
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:03,813
for other people.Okay, okay.

89
00:03:03,856 --> 00:03:05,510
You care about my health,
my well-being.

90
00:03:05,554 --> 00:03:07,208
Why a cigar, though?
That seems a little silly.

91
00:03:07,251 --> 00:03:09,166
I mean, why don'’t you just
step out and make a call?

92
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,995
No, I'’m gonna have
my cigar, okay?
Oh.

93
00:03:12,038 --> 00:03:14,215
Oh, so it'’s not code at all?
Y-You'’re gonna be smoking it.

94
00:03:14,258 --> 00:03:15,912
When did you start
smoking a cigar?

95
00:03:15,955 --> 00:03:17,348
Uh, it'’s been a few weeks.

96
00:03:17,392 --> 00:03:18,915
I just wanted to see
what it looks like.

97
00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:20,917
You know, see how I look
with a cigar.

98
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,441
Oh, man, this is gonna be
a great night for you.

99
00:03:23,485 --> 00:03:25,530
It'’s gonna be a fun,
sexy night.
[chuckles]

100
00:03:25,574 --> 00:03:27,358
[both laugh]

101
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:28,968
I'’m so excited
for my man.

102
00:03:29,012 --> 00:03:30,318
[laughs] Oh, come on.

103
00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:32,537
[laughs] Fun, sexy night.

104
00:03:32,581 --> 00:03:33,843
Yeah.

105
00:03:33,886 --> 00:03:35,236
You say it.
Fun, sexy night.

106
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:36,280
It'’s gonna be a fun, sexy night.

107
00:03:36,324 --> 00:03:37,716
Come on.
Say it like you mean it.

108
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,891
Fun, sexy night.

109
00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:42,155
[laughs]

110
00:03:42,199 --> 00:03:44,593
[coughs]

111
00:03:44,636 --> 00:03:46,421
I got to lay off these things.

112
00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:49,206
[coughing]

113
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,121
Oh. Phew.

114
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,644
Mmm.

115
00:03:52,688 --> 00:03:55,821
["Happiness, Missouri"
by El Vy playing]

116
00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:59,825
♪ While away while
someone counts the minutes ♪

117
00:03:59,869 --> 00:04:04,308
♪ Happiness, Missouri,
I got to get your mind off ♪

118
00:04:04,352 --> 00:04:07,833
♪ By the way,
I told you we were in this ♪

119
00:04:07,877 --> 00:04:11,707
♪ Happiness, Missouri,
I got to get your mind off it. ♪

120
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,665
♪

121
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[siren wailing in distance]

122
00:04:31,248 --> 00:04:32,075
HAZEL:
Fatima.

123
00:04:32,118 --> 00:04:33,337
Hi.
Oh, hi.

124
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,121
Hi, I'’m Hazel from HR.

125
00:04:35,165 --> 00:04:37,167
Oh, yeah,
that'’s right.
Oh.

126
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,690
I'’ve heard so much.

127
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,126
Oh, that'’s Janice's chair.

128
00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,432
No, she'’s working
in my office today,

129
00:04:41,476 --> 00:04:43,129
just while we have
this session.

130
00:04:43,173 --> 00:04:45,175
Oh.

131
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:48,178
Oh, uh, are we doing
this right here?

132
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,701
Yeah.

133
00:04:49,745 --> 00:04:51,529
It'’ll just be, like,
a couple of questions

134
00:04:51,573 --> 00:04:53,357
and then you'’ll sign a form,
and I'’ll be gone.

135
00:04:53,401 --> 00:04:55,446
It'’s really easy, okay.Okay.

136
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,100
So do you know why
you'’re talking

137
00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,058
to an HR representative today?

138
00:04:59,102 --> 00:05:01,060
Yeah, the video hacking.

139
00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:03,367
It was a video. Oh.

140
00:05:03,411 --> 00:05:05,326
Did-did you not see it?

141
00:05:05,369 --> 00:05:08,372
No, no. That would be receipt
of pornography.

142
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:10,374
Oh, it'’s not...Please describe for me

143
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:13,899
in your own words the offensive
or inappropriate act?

144
00:05:13,943 --> 00:05:15,771
Well, I don'’t really...

145
00:05:15,814 --> 00:05:17,990
Fatima, don'’t be nervous.

146
00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:20,079
Whatever you have to say, I'’ve
heard it, like, a million times.

147
00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:22,430
Honestly, it is my job,

148
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:23,996
so just give it to me.

149
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,390
No judgment.

150
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,087
Just for the paperwork.

151
00:05:28,131 --> 00:05:30,002
And it'’s safe.
You'’re in a safe space.

152
00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:32,396
[sighs] Well, girl,

153
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,659
um, I was masturbating.

154
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:37,401
Gross. Ugh. Hmm?

155
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,490
Did you just say "gross"?

156
00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:42,711
Eh, I did, but that'’s just--
it'’s a reflex.

157
00:05:42,754 --> 00:05:45,627
I just, I think it'’s gross,
but it'’s not, it's normal.

158
00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,237
It'’s normal.
[laughs]
Yeah.

159
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,457
Normal hormal.
[laughs nervously]

160
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,893
You'’re so normal.

161
00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:53,069
Uh...

162
00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:57,203
which hand did you use
when you masturbated?

163
00:05:57,247 --> 00:05:58,422
Is that a question?

164
00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:00,903
I ask the questions,
not you.

165
00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:03,471
And it'’s not, I just know that I
shook your hand when I came in,

166
00:06:03,514 --> 00:06:05,560
and I feel really weird.

167
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:08,214
Oh, can you pass me that?

168
00:06:08,258 --> 00:06:09,999
Real quick.
Thank you.

169
00:06:10,042 --> 00:06:11,696
God, it'’s not contagious.

170
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,350
Just, thank you.
It'’s okay.
It'’s...

171
00:06:13,394 --> 00:06:14,830
I just, I'’d feel better
if I just did this.

172
00:06:14,873 --> 00:06:15,787
It'’s cool, like...

173
00:06:15,831 --> 00:06:17,528
Okay. [exhales]

174
00:06:17,572 --> 00:06:19,617
How long have you been in HR?

175
00:06:19,661 --> 00:06:23,404
Oh. Ugh, gosh. Two days.

176
00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:25,057
But I was sick yesterday.

177
00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:29,584
WOMAN:
SDPD'’s still on stakeout
in the area.

178
00:06:29,627 --> 00:06:32,456
Should we let them know we
have an FBI operative inside?

179
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,502
Negative.
The less they know, the better.

180
00:06:34,545 --> 00:06:36,591
They wouldn'’t know their asses
if it han...

181
00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:38,854
Oh, shit.

182
00:06:38,897 --> 00:06:40,464
Is everything all right?

183
00:06:40,508 --> 00:06:43,511
Uh, no. I just...

184
00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:45,600
I think I might
have lost the bird.

185
00:06:45,643 --> 00:06:47,950
Oh, no, are you sure?Yeah.

186
00:06:47,993 --> 00:06:50,256
Yeah, I'’m gonna have
to get back to you.WOMAN: Okay.

187
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,432
Okay.WOMAN: All right, talk later.

188
00:06:55,087 --> 00:06:57,046
What'’s happening?

189
00:06:59,527 --> 00:07:01,398
Where is Señor Feathers?

190
00:07:01,442 --> 00:07:03,879
Oh, yeah. Oh, no,
he'’s, like, uh...

191
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:05,663
He'’s in here somewhere.

192
00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,273
I let him out to
stretch his legs.

193
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:08,884
Okay, so where the fuck is he?

194
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:11,277
You know, you got to let him
explore the environment,

195
00:07:11,321 --> 00:07:12,496
you know, get
to know the ring,

196
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:14,803
get to know the smells
and the sounds

197
00:07:14,846 --> 00:07:16,631
and the tastes of the room.
It'’s important for him,

198
00:07:16,674 --> 00:07:19,024
psychologically speaking,
as a champion.

199
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:20,112
Did you lose the fucking bird?

200
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:21,940
[scoffs, laughs]
No.

201
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,376
Did I lose the bird?

202
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,640
C-Classic. No.
No, no, no.

203
00:07:25,683 --> 00:07:27,859
The bird is for sure here.

204
00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:29,513
Just give me a second.

205
00:07:29,557 --> 00:07:31,341
He'’s just probably
playing hide-and-seek.

206
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,866
Señor? Hola, Señor.

207
00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:37,695
[whistles]
SF?

208
00:07:37,739 --> 00:07:39,349
Are you whistling for the bird?

209
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,481
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'’s the way to get him.

210
00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:42,744
Come on, Señor SF.

211
00:07:42,787 --> 00:07:43,875
Here we go.[slaps legs]

212
00:07:43,919 --> 00:07:45,268
Ho, ho!

213
00:07:45,311 --> 00:07:46,965
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
[whistles]

214
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,097
Hey, Marco,
can I ask you something else?

215
00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:49,141
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Okay.

216
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,534
Fire away. Oh, yeah.Great.

217
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:51,753
How long you been
training roosters?

218
00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:53,494
[scoffs]
I don'’t know.

219
00:07:53,537 --> 00:07:55,539
Since I was a kid.

220
00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:56,932
Oh, wow, since
you were a kid. Okay.Yeah.

221
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:58,411
And how many, uh, rounds

222
00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:00,718
did Señor Feathers go
in his last fight?

223
00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:02,546
In his last fight?Señor Feathers.
Yeah, if you had to guess.

224
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:05,331
Ah, it wasn'’t many.
He won very quick.

225
00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:06,202
I'’m gonna say,
like, three rounds.

226
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,030
Wow.Yeah.

227
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,640
Wrong fucking answer!

228
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:10,902
There are no fucking rounds.

229
00:08:10,946 --> 00:08:11,947
This is a fight to the death!

230
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,601
[quietly]: Fuck.

231
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,604
[sighs] Okay, fine.

232
00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:18,388
I'’m sorry. [sighs]
This is my first fight.

233
00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:22,697
Are you fucking

234
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:24,481
kidding me?I'’m sorry.
I'’m sorry, okay?

235
00:08:24,525 --> 00:08:26,527
Fucking shit.
Do you understand

236
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:29,051
what'’s at stake here,
you little bitch?

237
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:31,314
I...Do you have any idea
what the cartel would do

238
00:08:31,357 --> 00:08:34,012
if they found out how fucking
inept you are at your job?

239
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,100
I'’ll tell you what they'd do.

240
00:08:35,144 --> 00:08:37,886
Bang. Bang.

241
00:08:37,929 --> 00:08:39,191
Bang.

242
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,715
Okay, so...

243
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:43,195
That'’s a fucking gunshot.Yeah, I get it.

244
00:08:43,239 --> 00:08:44,849
You'’re dead.No, I'’m... Yes, I'm dead.
You know what?

245
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,677
By way of gunshot.I-I'’m dead...

246
00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,897
You bled out from the head
and from the dick.

247
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,333
And joke'’s on them, okay?

248
00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:52,248
I'’m gonna die at
the head shot.

249
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:53,684
I'’m not gonna feel either
of the two dick shots.

250
00:08:53,728 --> 00:08:55,556
[sighs]
I'’m gonna go outside

251
00:08:55,599 --> 00:08:57,035
and I'’m gonna
find this bird.

252
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:59,124
If I don'’t find it,
I'’m gonna come back

253
00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:01,344
and we'’re gonna think of a
solution to fix this problem.

254
00:09:01,387 --> 00:09:03,085
If you don'’t find
the fucking bird,

255
00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:04,826
don'’t bother coming back.

256
00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:07,002
Okay. You know, honestly,

257
00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:09,831
your leadership
skills are lacking.Oh.

258
00:09:09,874 --> 00:09:12,964
You'’re not incentivizing
me to fix this problem.

259
00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:14,662
Fuck you. Pussy.

260
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:19,536
Wow. [whistles]

261
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,321
Señor Feathers.
Hola, Señor.

262
00:09:22,365 --> 00:09:24,062
Maybe she'’s a singer.

263
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,325
Why would a singer be doing
a police ride-along?

264
00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:29,024
If she was doing
a album of cop songs,

265
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:32,244
like The Police?

266
00:09:32,288 --> 00:09:34,377
They don'’t sing about
cops, they'’re just...

267
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:35,726
Here she comes,
we should...Oh.

268
00:09:35,770 --> 00:09:37,946
D-D-D-Doughnuts.

269
00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:39,382
Uh-oh.Okay.

270
00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:41,819
I got all the things.Here we go.

271
00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:44,213
Look at... this.

272
00:09:44,256 --> 00:09:45,736
Wow.Oh, my goodness.

273
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,216
Blueberry,
old-fashioned.Yo.

274
00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:49,174
And you--
what is your specialty?

275
00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:50,654
I actually won'’t.
I'’m-I'm trying

276
00:09:50,698 --> 00:09:52,830
to dodge the
old gluten.Oh, come on.

277
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:55,180
Come on.No, I'’m sorry.
No, I really...

278
00:09:55,224 --> 00:09:57,226
One little tiny bite.I got to stay the
course. I mean...

279
00:09:57,269 --> 00:09:59,097
Just, like, a tiny,
tiny one, just a little...

280
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,708
No, I really shouldn'’t.
I shouldn'’t. I...

281
00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:02,013
Oh, really?Really, yeah,
but thank you.

282
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,493
I respect your restraint.

283
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,626
Thank you.Fine.

284
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:07,105
I mean, you look like
you'’re in pretty good shape

285
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,542
anyway.Well, thank you.
You know, you got to...

286
00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:12,110
You got to keep it, uh...
you got to keep it tight-ish.

287
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,373
You know, things can
get real at any moment.

288
00:10:14,417 --> 00:10:15,984
Listen to him.You know. So...

289
00:10:16,027 --> 00:10:17,681
Oh, look at those biceps.I'’m... It's, uh...

290
00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:20,684
Just, like, giving us
raw cop vibes.

291
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:22,512
I wish my co-star
was more like you.

292
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,949
Wait. I just got,
like, the craziest idea.

293
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:27,430
Here we go.

294
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:28,997
I think you should
be in the show.

295
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,956
What show?Like, you should play
a cop in the show.

296
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,697
Ooh.You should be, like, one of
the main characters in my show.

297
00:10:33,741 --> 00:10:34,698
In your show?In my show, yeah.

298
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,047
No, I can'’t do that.

299
00:10:36,091 --> 00:10:39,007
Yeah, 100%.
The director would love you.

300
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:40,704
Mm.She'’s so
into, like,

301
00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:44,490
realness and, like,
not acting like an actor.

302
00:10:44,534 --> 00:10:45,796
Well...You'’re like a real cop.

303
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,406
I ama real cop.I... yeah.

304
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:49,147
Yeah.It'’s perfect.

305
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,148
Really?Mm-hmm.

306
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:50,975
What about that chin?

307
00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,455
Oh, especially

308
00:10:52,498 --> 00:10:53,717
because of the chin.

309
00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:56,938
I mean, strong jawlines are out.

310
00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:59,070
Mm.
Hmm.Everyone wants, like...

311
00:10:59,114 --> 00:11:01,507
you know, like a chin
that'’s just, like, soft

312
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:03,292
and-and unassuming,
and that, like,

313
00:11:03,335 --> 00:11:05,642
it just sort of, like,
melts into the neck. Yeah.

314
00:11:05,686 --> 00:11:07,035
Everyone wants that?

315
00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:09,211
Oh, yeah.
That'’s the thing now.Hmm.

316
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:10,734
You know what?
[chuckles]

317
00:11:10,778 --> 00:11:12,736
We should take a headshot.No. I mean, no.

318
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:14,259
Yeah, we should do,
like, a quick headshot.

319
00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:15,521
Yes, we should.That'’s crazy.

320
00:11:15,565 --> 00:11:17,132
Don'’t you think?For him.

321
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,742
Okay. What should I do?So, like...

322
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:20,570
Okay.That, like, it'’s, like,
you want to bone

323
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,225
and you, like, have a secret.

324
00:11:23,268 --> 00:11:25,227
I want abone, or I...?You want to bone.
You want to, like...

325
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,445
I want tobone.You want to bone me.

326
00:11:26,489 --> 00:11:27,969
And you have a secret.Okay, okay.

327
00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:29,361
Like, that'’s how
you look at me.Okay.

328
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,975
[shutter clicks]

329
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,499
Oh, nailed it.

330
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,022
Yeah?Nail...
Yeah, one take.

331
00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:39,937
Look at you.Oh, I could do
more. I mean...

332
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:42,766
[laughs] Listen to you.
You'’re, like, giving me options.

333
00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:45,029
I mean...You are a
director'’s dream.

334
00:11:45,073 --> 00:11:46,683
This headshot
is perfection.

335
00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:48,424
Okay. Hmm.

336
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,469
Except you have,
like, a little...

337
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:52,907
I can-I can
touch that up,

338
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:55,518
but you have, like,
a little eyelash right here.Oh.

339
00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:00,305
Oh, you smell great.
Do you wear cologne?

340
00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:02,612
Yeah.Yeah, it'’s...
Keep doing that.

341
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,918
Okay.
All right, make a wish.

342
00:12:03,961 --> 00:12:06,790
Okay.

343
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,531
Oh, you'’re so cute.
He'’s so cute.

344
00:12:08,574 --> 00:12:10,402
He just closed his eyes.No, I mean...

345
00:12:10,446 --> 00:12:12,100
That was like a real wish?Yeah.

346
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:13,666
Oh, my God.

347
00:12:13,710 --> 00:12:15,320
My heart just broke in half.

348
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,192
I can'’t, with you.

349
00:12:17,235 --> 00:12:18,933
No.I literally
can'’t.

350
00:12:18,976 --> 00:12:21,457
Shouldn'’t have to.Oh. I think
you'’d be a really good dad.

351
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,675
Really?Yeah, '’cause you kind of

352
00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:25,026
are giving me DILF vibes.Oh.

353
00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:27,332
MARCO [on radio]:
Agent Code Name Goldilocks,
I need a rooster,

354
00:12:27,376 --> 00:12:30,509
browny-black, stat. HELEN: Where am I gonna
get a rooster now?

355
00:12:30,553 --> 00:12:32,555
MARCO:
I don'’t know, Helen,
but you'’re my support,

356
00:12:32,598 --> 00:12:33,817
so how about supporting me
and trying

357
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:35,427
to find me a fucking rooster?

358
00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:37,342
HELEN:
All right, fine. I'’m on it.

359
00:12:37,386 --> 00:12:38,822
MARCO:
Jesus, everything'’s
a fucking drama with you.

360
00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:39,562
[hangs up]MARCO: Hello?

361
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,567
I'’m so sorry. I forgot.

362
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,960
We have to record
this session. [laughs]

363
00:12:46,003 --> 00:12:47,613
Oh, really?Mm-hmm.

364
00:12:47,657 --> 00:12:49,746
Mm. Buh-buh-puh-puh.

365
00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:51,400
Two. Two. Yeah.

366
00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:53,968
Two. Okay. Okay.

367
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,621
So, uh, just to recap--

368
00:12:55,665 --> 00:12:59,103
the camera on your laptop
recorded you...

369
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:00,975
I was masturbating.

370
00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:02,977
Louder.

371
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,457
I... There'’s
a mic right...Yeah, it'’s old.

372
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:08,156
It'’s just such an old machine.
[laughs]

373
00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:12,508
I... I was mastur...

374
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:14,379
I was mas...Just a couple more times.
I think we got it.

375
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:17,513
I was... masturbat... Okay.

376
00:13:17,556 --> 00:13:18,644
You know what?
I don'’t think we got it.

377
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,298
That...
Well, keep going.

378
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,257
Ugh. So, do you think
that masturbating

379
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,215
for your co-workers was
A: Appropriate,

380
00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:25,956
B: Not appropriate,

381
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,871
or C: Not sure?

382
00:13:27,915 --> 00:13:31,048
I wasn'’t masturbating
for my co-workers.

383
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:33,529
That'’s... I was hacked.

384
00:13:33,572 --> 00:13:35,444
Would you say
C: Not sure, then?

385
00:13:35,487 --> 00:13:37,968
No. I would... I am not
answering the question.

386
00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:39,709
I don'’t believe in the
premise of the question.

387
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,755
Was M-bating
for your colleagues on camera

388
00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,845
A: To impress them,
B: To degrade them,

389
00:13:44,888 --> 00:13:46,890
C: To get promoted,
D: Not sure?

390
00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:49,023
[whispering]:
Don'’t say "D."

391
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,029
Okay, I'’m just gonna put "A,"

392
00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:58,467
because, uh, the guys in my
office were really impressed.

393
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:00,686
A.[recorder stops]

394
00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:06,823
All right.

395
00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:10,087
Ugh!Did I tell you
I'’d find the bird, or what?

396
00:14:10,131 --> 00:14:13,482
Say welcome back
to Señor Feathers.

397
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:15,484
[laughs]

398
00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:16,702
[sniffles, clears throat]

399
00:14:17,312 --> 00:14:19,096
That'’s not Señor Feathers.

400
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,968
What? Of course it is.It'’s 100% not.

401
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:23,187
I don'’t know who that bird is,
but it'’s not Señor Feathers.

402
00:14:23,231 --> 00:14:25,624
How do you know?How do I know?

403
00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:28,236
Yeah.I run cockfights. I know
a fucking fighting bird

404
00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:30,499
when I see one. I'’m the
Jay Gatsby of cockfighting.

405
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,370
This bird may as well
have a fucking iron spike

406
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,111
shoved up its ass and
be on the top of a barn.

407
00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:35,808
Okay. Wow.[bird coos]

408
00:14:35,852 --> 00:14:39,769
Wait. Did you just
fucking coo at me?Nah.

409
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,249
You little bitch.I don'’t think so.

410
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:43,251
What, are you fucking
trying to imprint on me?No.

411
00:14:43,294 --> 00:14:45,296
I'’m not your new mom, you
piece of garbage shit bird.

412
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,429
[sniffs]

413
00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,822
Where did you get
this fucking bird?

414
00:14:49,866 --> 00:14:52,042
What?It smells shampooed.

415
00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:53,609
Nah.Is this someone'’s
fucking pet?

416
00:14:53,652 --> 00:14:55,350
I don'’t think so.You don'’t think so?

417
00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:58,396
I-I know it'’s not.It smells like
ocean breeze.

418
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,876
Uh, maybe Señor Feathers
was just on vacation.

419
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,399
Where the fuck did
you get this bird?

420
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,488
Okay, okay, fine, all right?

421
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:06,927
It'’s not Señor Feathers. Busted.
You got me, all right?

422
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,712
I got it from the zoo, okay? The
San Diego Zoo. I'’ve got a guy

423
00:15:09,755 --> 00:15:11,279
who hooks me up
with animals.

424
00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,281
Listen to me, you
fucking turd person.

425
00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:15,631
While you were skipping around
the San Diego Zoo, I got word

426
00:15:15,674 --> 00:15:18,025
that Big Boy is feeling better,
and the fight is back on

427
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,288
for tomorrow night.
Meanwhile, we'’re sitting here

428
00:15:20,331 --> 00:15:21,898
with our fucking
dicks in our hands

429
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:24,466
with a bird from the
fucking petting zoo.

430
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,772
It'’s the premier zoo
in the western hemisphere.

431
00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:29,253
Shut the fuck up.
We have 24 hours[sighs]

432
00:15:29,297 --> 00:15:31,342
to turn this soft cock
into a fighting bird,

433
00:15:31,386 --> 00:15:33,866
or he is dead and
we are fucking dead.

434
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:36,652
Do you understand that part--
that we will cease to live?

435
00:15:36,695 --> 00:15:38,306
Okay.Our lives will be
taken from us.

436
00:15:38,349 --> 00:15:39,742
Okay, you'’re being
really negative,

437
00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:41,613
and I don'’t want to
say anything, but it might be

438
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:43,920
affecting the bird'’s
performance in the ring.

439
00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:47,924
Oh, suck my dick.I am literally doing
the best that I can,

440
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,578
and I would appreciate
your support.

441
00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:53,016
If this was my best,
I would kill myself.

442
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:55,714
So, yes, one time we had to
sleep in the same bed. We had...Oh.

443
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,325
Really?Yeah, it was...

444
00:15:57,368 --> 00:15:59,109
On a fishing trip, or...?Yeah, it was
fishing, yeah.

445
00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:00,241
Yeah. Oh, okay.Oh, yeah.

446
00:16:00,284 --> 00:16:02,025
Wow.Hey.

447
00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:04,201
Hey.Where'’d you go?

448
00:16:04,245 --> 00:16:06,856
Huh? Oh, nothing.
Just cop stuff. [laughs]

449
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,162
He had to empty
his pee bottle.

450
00:16:08,205 --> 00:16:09,859
Oh, my God. Really?Yeah.

451
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,121
You-you guys
pee in bottles?

452
00:16:11,165 --> 00:16:12,688
Mm-hmm.For real?

453
00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:14,385
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah,
we have to.

454
00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:15,865
You know, we stay here
for such long hours,

455
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,475
you know, we got to...
got to go, and then we...

456
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,781
We empty it when we
get the chance. Yeah.

457
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:20,696
Wow. That'’s
so intense.Yeah.

458
00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:22,828
So, I don'’t...
[sighs]

459
00:16:22,872 --> 00:16:25,222
I want to... I want
to ask you guys something,

460
00:16:25,266 --> 00:16:26,615
but I just...
I think it'’s...

461
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:28,095
It'’s, like,
kind of awkward.

462
00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:29,705
No.Come on, we'’ve been talking.

463
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:31,141
Nothing is weird.
What is...?Oh, it'’s silly.

464
00:16:31,185 --> 00:16:33,752
Um... can-can I hold your gun?

465
00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,711
Oh.

466
00:16:35,754 --> 00:16:37,278
No. I'’m sorry. It's...Oh.

467
00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:39,062
it'’s, like, weird.[laughing]

468
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:41,456
No, no, no. No, it'’s
okay. It'’s okay.It'’s like...

469
00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:43,066
It'’s just, the
department, uh, you know--

470
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,633
it'’s pretty strict about
that kind of thing.Yeah.

471
00:16:44,676 --> 00:16:46,069
Yeah.Oh, yeah.
I mean, as they should.

472
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:47,375
Right.It'’s, like, a gun.

473
00:16:47,418 --> 00:16:48,680
You know, I don'’t really
believe in them,

474
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,334
and I would never own a gun

475
00:16:50,378 --> 00:16:51,727
in my-in my real,
actual life...

476
00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:53,642
Right....but I'’m playing a cop,

477
00:16:53,685 --> 00:16:56,906
and I have to, you know,
be authentic and-and...Yeah.

478
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,821
Maybe I'’m-I'm just, like,
being too actressy,

479
00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:00,083
and I'’m just, like, you know...No, no, no, no, no.
And I would love

480
00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:02,259
to help you. I mean,
I'’d really... I mean,

481
00:17:02,303 --> 00:17:04,348
really, but, you know,
rules are rules, so...Yeah, yeah.

482
00:17:04,392 --> 00:17:06,568
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.Totally. Totally get it.

483
00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:09,527
I get it.
It'’s fine.

484
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,529
Well, maybe just
for a second...Oh, my gosh,

485
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:14,402
that would be awesome.No, no. I mean...

486
00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:16,447
No. I mean, we... we...

487
00:17:16,491 --> 00:17:17,753
Yeah.
I'’ll just...No. Look, how about this,

488
00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,711
how about this,
how about this.

489
00:17:19,755 --> 00:17:22,410
Here we go. I will
take out the bullets,

490
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:24,368
and then, you can...
you can have a quick hold.

491
00:17:24,412 --> 00:17:26,066
No.No?

492
00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:27,545
No, it'’s not, like...
I'’m just...

493
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,069
I'’m really just searching

494
00:17:29,112 --> 00:17:31,723
for that, like,
authentic police experience.

495
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,203
Mm.And I just want

496
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:34,726
the real thing, you know?

497
00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:36,946
Like, I want to hold
a real firearm...

498
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,514
like yours... you know?

499
00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,037
Yeah.

500
00:17:41,081 --> 00:17:42,647
I just want to know
what that feels like.

501
00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:43,909
Yeah.Yeah.

502
00:17:43,953 --> 00:17:45,868
I get it.

503
00:17:45,911 --> 00:17:47,957
Well...

504
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,003
just for a second.

505
00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:52,222
Okay, Dad.Okay?

506
00:17:52,266 --> 00:17:54,442
Okay.Okay.

507
00:17:54,485 --> 00:17:57,880
Here we go. Safety'’s on.

508
00:17:57,923 --> 00:17:59,751
Feels so good.Yeah. I'’ll just...

509
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:01,362
Oh, my God.Oh. Let me take it back.

510
00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:04,365
Wow. It'’s just...

511
00:18:04,408 --> 00:18:05,670
So, there'’s this one scene.

512
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:07,150
It'’s, like, my opening scene.

513
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,717
You know, it'’s, like,
my big scene.

514
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:12,155
And I have to, like,
go in with two guns

515
00:18:12,199 --> 00:18:14,288
and, like, shoot
the bad guys.Mm.

516
00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:15,332
You know, with a gun
in each hand.

517
00:18:15,376 --> 00:18:16,725
Can I...? Do you mind?

518
00:18:16,768 --> 00:18:17,943
Yeah, sure.I don'’t think...
No, no.

519
00:18:17,987 --> 00:18:20,294
Oh, my God, thank you.You'’re welcome.

520
00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:21,556
This is fucking
intoxicating.

521
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:23,340
Yeah, it can be.
It can be.Yeah.

522
00:18:23,384 --> 00:18:25,081
Whoa.Okay, we'’ll grab
'’em back, huh?

523
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:28,171
Oh, my God.
Just, like, give me a minute.

524
00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,174
[Jessica inhales
and exhales loudly]

525
00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:32,697
You know
what'’s crazy?

526
00:18:32,741 --> 00:18:35,439
I could just,
like, snap,

527
00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:37,093
and, like, kill you both
right now.

528
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:38,616
[laughing]:
Isn'’t that insane?

529
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,488
So...
Okay, uh, lady,
you'’re scaring me.

530
00:18:40,531 --> 00:18:42,229
Can I please have
my gun back?

531
00:18:42,272 --> 00:18:44,274
Thank you.[yelling]

532
00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:45,623
Bang!

533
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,147
Okay.

534
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:48,278
You'’re dead!

535
00:18:50,976 --> 00:18:52,935
Okay, now that your partner'’s
dead, what do you do?

536
00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:57,505
Uh, in this situation here,
uh, uh, you shot my partner.

537
00:18:57,548 --> 00:18:59,376
Mm-hmm, yeah.I would check his vitals.

538
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,204
His vitals? His vitals?And, uh...

539
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,772
Mm.His brains are everywhere.

540
00:19:03,815 --> 00:19:05,382
Well, maybe
you just grazed me.

541
00:19:05,426 --> 00:19:07,079
Shut the fuck up!

542
00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:09,604
You'’re dead!

543
00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:11,693
Not a peep.

544
00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,782
Close your eyes.

545
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:15,523
Be dead.

546
00:19:17,742 --> 00:19:19,701
So, now what?

547
00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:21,093
Well, I would
negotiate with you

548
00:19:21,137 --> 00:19:23,313
i-in a calm and
reasonable manner.

549
00:19:23,357 --> 00:19:25,402
I don'’t even know what you mean.
There'’s no negotiating.Hmm.

550
00:19:25,446 --> 00:19:28,318
Okay, I see.
Hypothetically, I get it.No, this is...

551
00:19:28,362 --> 00:19:30,929
There'’s no hypothetical. This is
the reality of the situation.

552
00:19:30,973 --> 00:19:33,932
You gave me
your loaded gun,

553
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:37,849
and now it'’s pointed
at your skull.Hmm.

554
00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:39,242
That'’s what's happening
right now.

555
00:19:39,286 --> 00:19:40,852
So you do what I say.

556
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:43,855
Mm. Mm-hmm.And I say...

557
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:45,248
What do I say?

558
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:46,597
Doughnuts.

559
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,251
Sure.The doughnuts.

560
00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:50,166
Do you remember those?Yeah. Yeah.

561
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:54,344
Yeah. See, earlier, I wanted
you to eat the doughnuts.Yeah.

562
00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:56,781
You were like,
"Mm, no, thank you."

563
00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:58,609
Huh.[chuckling mockingly]:
"No, I'’m gluten-free."

564
00:19:58,653 --> 00:20:00,524
Like a little pussy.Right.

565
00:20:00,568 --> 00:20:02,439
But now you'’re gonna eat
the fucking doughnuts.

566
00:20:02,483 --> 00:20:04,398
Okay.So pick up the doughnut,

567
00:20:04,441 --> 00:20:06,269
stick it in your fucking mouth,

568
00:20:06,313 --> 00:20:07,705
and chew.

569
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,099
Go.

570
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,450
Faster. Eat it faster.

571
00:20:13,494 --> 00:20:15,104
Come on. Eat up, boy.Okay.

572
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,542
Eat '’er up.
Come on, come on. Eat up.[grunts]

573
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:20,762
Eat it faster.

574
00:20:20,805 --> 00:20:23,373
All right, now you need
something to wash it down.

575
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:27,508
Hmm.

576
00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:29,684
How about... how about that...

577
00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:31,860
the bottle of piss
that'’s under your seat.

578
00:20:31,903 --> 00:20:33,775
Oh, I emptied mine
out earlier, so...

579
00:20:33,818 --> 00:20:35,385
Oh, right, you did.
But your partner didn'’t.Yeah.

580
00:20:36,517 --> 00:20:38,693
Get the piss bottle.

581
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:41,826
Don'’t talk. Get
the piss bottle.

582
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:44,264
You took it out, didn'’t
you? Emptied it out.No. No. He didn'’t.

583
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,794
I don'’t need to drink the piss.

584
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,143
Drink his piss.I don'’t... There's...

585
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,797
Drink his fucking piss!

586
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,799
Now!Okay.

587
00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:04,196
Drink it up.
Drink it up.

588
00:21:05,894 --> 00:21:08,462
Why didn'’t you fucking
empty your bottle?

589
00:21:08,505 --> 00:21:10,202
Don'’t talk to him. He's dead.

590
00:21:10,246 --> 00:21:11,987
Drink it up.

591
00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:14,163
[retches]

592
00:21:21,039 --> 00:21:23,259
Okay, Hazel?Yeah.

593
00:21:23,303 --> 00:21:26,393
Um, my computer was hacked.
That'’s the offense here.

594
00:21:26,436 --> 00:21:29,396
The fact that I was masturbating
with whatever pillowsUgh.

595
00:21:29,439 --> 00:21:32,877
doesn'’t even matter. It-it
shouldn'’t be on trial.

596
00:21:32,921 --> 00:21:34,444
I-I shouldn'’t be on
trial here for that.

597
00:21:34,488 --> 00:21:36,620
Totally. No one wants this
to go to trial.

598
00:21:36,664 --> 00:21:38,840
That'’s why we're here.
Next question.

599
00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:40,711
Do you have cultural reasons

600
00:21:40,755 --> 00:21:43,148
for masturbating?
Yes or no?

601
00:21:43,192 --> 00:21:45,629
Okay, Hazel, um...

602
00:21:45,673 --> 00:21:48,284
you, like, showed up
really unexpectedly

603
00:21:48,328 --> 00:21:50,330
in the middle of me working,

604
00:21:50,373 --> 00:21:52,680
and-and then
you make me say the word

605
00:21:52,723 --> 00:21:54,246
"masturbation,"
like, ten times,

606
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:56,597
which is so
embarrassing for me.

607
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,600
I feel like you, who is in HR,

608
00:21:59,643 --> 00:22:01,732
in sensitivity training,
is, like...

609
00:22:01,776 --> 00:22:03,734
like, one of the most
insensitive people.

610
00:22:03,778 --> 00:22:06,128
This is, like, really upsetting.

611
00:22:06,171 --> 00:22:08,478
Do you get that I'’m, like,
really upset by this?

612
00:22:08,522 --> 00:22:11,002
Are you upset?Yes!

613
00:22:11,046 --> 00:22:12,743
What are you,
freaking autistic or something?

614
00:22:17,008 --> 00:22:19,620
You shouldn'’t have called me
freaking autistic.

615
00:22:19,663 --> 00:22:21,796
I'’m sorry.
I-I shouldn'’t have said that.

616
00:22:21,839 --> 00:22:23,406
So, we have to get
another form...

617
00:22:23,450 --> 00:22:26,104
because you did that... to me.

618
00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:28,280
Hate speech.

619
00:22:28,324 --> 00:22:31,240
The autistic one'’s an A-24.
That'’s a big form.

620
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,937
Do you have dinner plans
tonight?

621
00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:34,852
No.Well, cancel them.

622
00:22:45,602 --> 00:22:47,125
All done? Yeah?

623
00:22:47,169 --> 00:22:52,130
Yeah, all done.
All done. No more.

624
00:22:52,174 --> 00:22:53,697
Which one was your favorite?

625
00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:55,960
Huh?Which one
was your favorite?

626
00:22:56,004 --> 00:22:58,572
Um, the-the third
one to the last.

627
00:22:58,615 --> 00:23:00,574
Antepenultimate.

628
00:23:00,617 --> 00:23:03,098
Yeah. Yeah.Yeah, that'’s what that means.

629
00:23:03,141 --> 00:23:05,579
Third one to last.
Antepenultimate.Uh-huh.

630
00:23:05,622 --> 00:23:09,147
And fourth to last
is preantepenultimate.Okay.

631
00:23:09,191 --> 00:23:11,323
I love words.
It'’s kind of pretentious, but...

632
00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:13,282
you know us actors.

633
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,980
Words are our weapons.

634
00:23:16,024 --> 00:23:18,374
So, how are we
gonna get out of this?

635
00:23:18,418 --> 00:23:21,943
We'’ve established
that I'’m the one in power

636
00:23:21,986 --> 00:23:23,510
and you'’re weak as fuck.

637
00:23:23,553 --> 00:23:24,946
Right.Right?

638
00:23:24,989 --> 00:23:26,730
Yeah.Can you say that?

639
00:23:26,774 --> 00:23:29,690
Say, "I'’m weak as fuck,
like a widdle baby."I'’m...

640
00:23:29,733 --> 00:23:31,213
I'’m weak as fuck.

641
00:23:31,256 --> 00:23:33,520
Like a widdle baby.Like a little baby.

642
00:23:33,563 --> 00:23:35,391
Like a widdle baby.

643
00:23:35,435 --> 00:23:36,914
Like a widdle baby.

644
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,481
[laughing]:
That'’s right.

645
00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:39,961
So, I guess the only way

646
00:23:40,004 --> 00:23:42,442
to really get out of this
is to beg.

647
00:23:42,485 --> 00:23:44,139
You want me to beg? Okay.Beg for your fucking life.

648
00:23:44,182 --> 00:23:45,575
Okay. I'’m s...

649
00:23:45,619 --> 00:23:47,490
I'’m sor... Could you
please not shoot me?

650
00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:49,492
[coughs]Don'’t fucking cough.

651
00:23:49,536 --> 00:23:51,929
Or swallow.

652
00:23:51,973 --> 00:23:53,714
Or blink...

653
00:23:53,757 --> 00:23:55,759
you corpse.

654
00:23:55,803 --> 00:23:58,806
You'’re not taking
me seriously.

655
00:23:58,849 --> 00:24:00,590
No, I am.This is crazy.

656
00:24:00,634 --> 00:24:03,419
No, I am.After all this time,
you'’re treating me like this?

657
00:24:03,463 --> 00:24:06,466
I-I... No, you'’re not a joke.Like I'’m a fucking joke?

658
00:24:06,509 --> 00:24:07,815
Is that what'’s happening
right now?No, no, no, you'’re not a joke.

659
00:24:07,858 --> 00:24:09,294
Beg for your fucking life!

660
00:24:09,338 --> 00:24:11,296
Three, two, one!Wait, no, no, no!

661
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:12,733
Please don'’t shoot me!
Please don'’t shoot me!

662
00:24:12,776 --> 00:24:14,822
I'’m so sorry. Please,
I beg you. I beg you.

663
00:24:14,865 --> 00:24:16,824
Please. Please,
let me live.

664
00:24:16,867 --> 00:24:18,478
Please let me live.

665
00:24:18,521 --> 00:24:21,176
I-I have done nothing
worthwhile in my life.

666
00:24:21,219 --> 00:24:23,787
I know that. I haven'’t
done anything good.

667
00:24:23,831 --> 00:24:26,660
And I'’m 42, and that's just
shameful, and I am ashamed.

668
00:24:26,703 --> 00:24:28,705
I am ashamed that I haven'’t done
anything good in my life, okay?

669
00:24:28,749 --> 00:24:30,141
And I was... I meant to.

670
00:24:30,185 --> 00:24:31,665
I always meant to
do something good,

671
00:24:31,708 --> 00:24:34,058
and I just never got...
I just never did it.

672
00:24:34,102 --> 00:24:36,104
'’Cause I... When I was a
kid, I just, I thought...

673
00:24:36,147 --> 00:24:38,541
I thought I would never
grow old, and now I'’m old.

674
00:24:38,585 --> 00:24:40,282
I mean, I'’m half-old,
and I'’m just...

675
00:24:40,325 --> 00:24:41,631
I feel like I'’ve
never done anything.

676
00:24:41,675 --> 00:24:42,937
And I wanted to be in the FBI.

677
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,286
I wanted to be the
head of the FBI,

678
00:24:44,329 --> 00:24:45,940
and I wanted them to name
an airport after me,

679
00:24:45,983 --> 00:24:47,550
but the FBI, they
wouldn'’t take me.

680
00:24:47,594 --> 00:24:49,291
They wouldn'’t take me
when I was younger,

681
00:24:49,334 --> 00:24:50,988
so I'’m hoping I get in
this time, '’cause...

682
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,729
you know, life got in the way.

683
00:24:52,773 --> 00:24:55,471
You know, my dad got sick. You
know, life got really hard,

684
00:24:55,515 --> 00:24:57,517
and I got lazy.

685
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:58,953
And I know that,
and I'’m... I've been...

686
00:24:58,996 --> 00:25:01,346
I'’m so sorry. I'm...

687
00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:03,305
Feeling this gun
against my head,

688
00:25:03,348 --> 00:25:05,525
I just feel like I-I know...
I know I haven'’t done anything,

689
00:25:05,568 --> 00:25:07,004
and I know I will do something,
please,

690
00:25:07,048 --> 00:25:08,353
if you just don'’t kill me.
I will, I will not...

691
00:25:08,397 --> 00:25:09,616
I will do something good.

692
00:25:09,659 --> 00:25:11,052
I promise you, I promise you,

693
00:25:11,095 --> 00:25:12,967
I will do something good.

694
00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:16,884
Please, please, please, please,

695
00:25:16,927 --> 00:25:19,800
please, please,
please, please,

696
00:25:19,843 --> 00:25:22,759
please, please, please, please,

697
00:25:22,803 --> 00:25:25,153
please, don'’t kill me.

698
00:25:25,196 --> 00:25:27,111
Please.

699
00:25:31,899 --> 00:25:32,943
Okay.

700
00:25:34,292 --> 00:25:35,990
That was really good.

701
00:25:36,033 --> 00:25:38,949
That was totally believable.

702
00:25:38,993 --> 00:25:40,647
[panting]

703
00:25:40,690 --> 00:25:42,431
Thank you.

704
00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:45,608
Um, and thank you for these.

705
00:25:45,652 --> 00:25:48,263
That was awesome.

706
00:25:48,306 --> 00:25:50,091
This was, like, the best.

707
00:25:50,134 --> 00:25:52,659
A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

708
00:25:52,702 --> 00:25:55,096
I will never forget this.
This was so cool.

709
00:25:55,139 --> 00:25:56,793
Okay, thank you.

710
00:25:56,837 --> 00:25:59,883
Thank you. I mean,
I just feel like we had,

711
00:25:59,927 --> 00:26:01,450
I don'’t know, like...

712
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:03,278
I just feel connected to you
in some way.

713
00:26:03,321 --> 00:26:05,628
I-I don'’t...
Do you feel it, too?

714
00:26:05,672 --> 00:26:08,109
Yeah.Like, maybe we had,
like, a past life...

715
00:26:08,152 --> 00:26:09,893
thing.Yeah.

716
00:26:09,937 --> 00:26:11,939
Yeah. We should hang out.I think so.

717
00:26:11,982 --> 00:26:13,810
I'’d love that.Like, we-we should all hang out.

718
00:26:13,854 --> 00:26:16,421
Like, game night at my house
or something.That'’d be great.

719
00:26:16,465 --> 00:26:18,075
And you can come, too.
Like, it can be so fun.Oh.

720
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,599
Oh, thank you so much.Yeah.

721
00:26:19,642 --> 00:26:21,209
Okay, cool.Okay.

722
00:26:21,252 --> 00:26:23,211
All right.
So, I'’m gonna go,

723
00:26:23,254 --> 00:26:26,257
and, um...
I'’m gonna miss you guys.

724
00:26:26,301 --> 00:26:27,694
So...Well, I-I'’m sorry.
I forgot something.

725
00:26:27,737 --> 00:26:29,391
Um, it'’s time for my cigar.

726
00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:30,914
So...No, no, no, no, it'’s okay.

727
00:26:30,958 --> 00:26:32,133
No. Just...All right.

728
00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:33,438
Okay, bye.Cool.

729
00:26:33,482 --> 00:26:35,571
Okay.Pound it.

730
00:26:35,615 --> 00:26:37,704
[imitates explosions]All right.

731
00:26:39,227 --> 00:26:40,837
Bye, guys.
Bye.Bye. [clears throat]

732
00:26:41,969 --> 00:26:44,580
[door closes]

733
00:26:45,886 --> 00:26:47,583
Well, I don'’t know about you,

734
00:26:47,627 --> 00:26:49,541
but I'’m not going
to game night.

735
00:26:49,585 --> 00:26:51,239
I'’ll go if you go

736
00:26:51,282 --> 00:26:54,416
and you want me to come
to keep you company, but...

737
00:26:54,459 --> 00:26:56,113
No, I'’m not going
to game night.

738
00:26:57,854 --> 00:26:59,726
You know,
the more I think about it,

739
00:26:59,769 --> 00:27:01,728
I really don'’t like her for you.

740
00:27:01,771 --> 00:27:03,904
I think you can do better.

741
00:27:03,947 --> 00:27:06,863
Well, you know, different.

742
00:27:08,952 --> 00:27:12,608
A little bit
on the wild side.

743
00:27:12,652 --> 00:27:14,915
A little bit.

744
00:27:14,958 --> 00:27:18,048
Well, we learned
that, uh...

745
00:27:18,092 --> 00:27:19,702
Never give your gun
to anyone,

746
00:27:19,746 --> 00:27:22,444
regardless of how nice
they are to you.

747
00:27:22,487 --> 00:27:24,838
Because it'’ll always
end up in tears.

748
00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:32,062
Cullen.
Cullen. Cullen.

749
00:27:32,106 --> 00:27:35,413
Cullen.Stop it, Tolbeck.

750
00:27:35,457 --> 00:27:37,459
Oh, my God, I just
realized who that was.

751
00:27:37,502 --> 00:27:40,418
That was Jessica Alba,
the actress.

752
00:27:40,462 --> 00:27:42,377
Oh, my God.
That'’s a great story.

753
00:27:42,420 --> 00:27:45,423
No, it'’s not.
I drank your piss.

754
00:27:45,467 --> 00:27:47,382
Okay, that part of it
is not great, but...

755
00:27:47,425 --> 00:27:49,384
Jessica Alba-- she made
you drink my piss.

756
00:27:49,427 --> 00:27:51,342
That'’s one for
the grandkids.

757
00:27:51,386 --> 00:27:52,953
No, it'’s fucking not!

758
00:27:52,996 --> 00:27:57,609
♪ Falling over
the mise-en-scène ♪

759
00:27:57,653 --> 00:28:01,135
♪ Fell asleep on an unmade bed

760
00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:05,008
♪ I fell in love
in my dream again ♪

761
00:28:05,052 --> 00:28:09,709
♪ No, this isn'’t an emergency ♪

762
00:28:09,752 --> 00:28:13,887
♪ Left a note
in the ice cube tray ♪

763
00:28:13,930 --> 00:28:17,847
♪ Left the keys
on the garden mat ♪

764
00:28:17,891 --> 00:28:21,677
♪ You left your comb
on the passenger seat ♪

765
00:28:21,721 --> 00:28:26,247
♪ No, this isn'’t an emergency ♪

766
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:30,599
♪ This isn'’t an emergency ♪

767
00:28:34,124 --> 00:28:38,955
♪ And remembers
ash and embers. ♪

768
00:28:38,999 --> 00:28:40,870
MAN:
Guh-doosh.

769
00:28:40,914 --> 00:28:44,134
[whip cracking]

770
00:28:44,178 --> 00:28:47,137
[drums beating, tribal grunt]

771
00:28:47,181 --> 00:28:49,096
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

772
00:28:49,139 --> 00:28:50,401
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org