1
00:00:08,986 --> 00:00:12,033
TOLBECK:
Highest bid.
Three seconds left.

2
00:00:12,076 --> 00:00:14,035
Three, two, one.

3
00:00:14,078 --> 00:00:15,036
Yes!

4
00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:16,080
I won.Great, great.

5
00:00:16,124 --> 00:00:18,082
I'm cleaning up tonight.Okay, great.

6
00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:20,780
Looks like blondie's
got a customer.TOLBECK: Hmm.

7
00:00:20,824 --> 00:00:22,869
CULLEN:
Okay, money exchanged.
Here we go.

8
00:00:22,913 --> 00:00:24,784
Let's take them in his car.

9
00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:26,090
No. No.

10
00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:28,310
I guess they want to
do it out in the open.

11
00:00:28,353 --> 00:00:29,441
I guess they want
to be caught. Okay,

12
00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:31,269
you ready to go?Yeah, one second.

13
00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:33,532
Tolbeck. We're rostered
together, like, once a week.

14
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,099
You're spending the whole night
on your phone.

15
00:00:35,143 --> 00:00:36,883
Limit... Look at this.
Limited edition

16
00:00:36,927 --> 00:00:39,147
1987 commemorative plate,

17
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,323
Michael with Nancy Reagan.

18
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:43,020
[laughs]

19
00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:44,282
Only 38 bucks. Look.No.

20
00:00:44,326 --> 00:00:45,588
I don't want to look, okay?[sighs]

21
00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:47,764
I don't support
this frenzied buy up

22
00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:49,461
of Michael Jackson
memorabilia.

23
00:00:49,505 --> 00:00:51,942
There's a reason
why it's so cheap.

24
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,509
Yeah, the market is down now,

25
00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,598
but it's gonna bounce back.I don't know about that, man.

26
00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,121
Hey, do you remember
my cousin Gavin,

27
00:00:57,165 --> 00:00:58,688
the Michael Jackson
impersonator?Mm.

28
00:00:58,731 --> 00:01:00,603
He quit doing that,
and now he's selling

29
00:01:00,646 --> 00:01:02,692
carpet again.Right, 'cause
business dried up.

30
00:01:02,735 --> 00:01:04,128
No.
Actually, it picked up.

31
00:01:04,172 --> 00:01:06,826
But the clientele
was not great.

32
00:01:06,870 --> 00:01:08,176
Oh, boy.They wanted him to do

33
00:01:08,219 --> 00:01:09,699
this cruise where...Oh, fuck me. We wasted time

34
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:11,309
on your creepy auction.
Now they're deep

35
00:01:11,353 --> 00:01:12,571
into it.Oh, God.

36
00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,399
Is that his leg or her leg?

37
00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:16,140
Fucking animals.
I'm not touching that.

38
00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:17,576
We're just...
Let 'em finish first.

39
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,796
TOLBECK:
Can we just turn a
blind eye to this?

40
00:01:19,839 --> 00:01:23,147
I don't want that musky
sex smell in the car.No, we can't.

41
00:01:23,191 --> 00:01:24,931
We're not turning a blind eye.
We're bringing him in here

42
00:01:24,975 --> 00:01:26,150
'cause this is the dumb shit
we have to do now

43
00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:27,151
since the demotion.

44
00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:28,544
I don't view it as a demotion.

45
00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:32,200
You know, I actually like
being in uniform.Why?

46
00:01:32,243 --> 00:01:34,463
Every day that I wake up
and I put this uniform on,

47
00:01:34,506 --> 00:01:36,856
I feel empowered and sexy.

48
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,206
Oh, really? Sexy?

49
00:01:38,249 --> 00:01:41,644
Yeah. When I walk into a room,
all eyes follow me.

50
00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:42,732
You don't like being noticed?

51
00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:44,299
No, man, I don't
like being noticed.

52
00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:45,865
I like being
undercover. Okay?

53
00:01:45,909 --> 00:01:48,085
I would like
to kick a door down

54
00:01:48,129 --> 00:01:50,174
and yell,
"Freeze. Special Agent Cullen."

55
00:01:50,218 --> 00:01:52,481
And throw a guy off a rooftop.
That's what I would like.

56
00:01:52,524 --> 00:01:54,831
TOLBECK:
That's a lot of cardio.Okay.

57
00:01:54,874 --> 00:01:57,094
Okay, they're done.
Let's go. Come on, Tolbeck.

58
00:01:57,138 --> 00:01:59,052
I got another auction coming.Just, come on.

59
00:01:59,096 --> 00:02:01,794
Stop. Police.I-It's the Thrilleralb...
[groans]

60
00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:07,060
Cullen, it's a limited edition
with bubbles on the sleeve.

61
00:02:07,104 --> 00:02:08,279
Cullen.

62
00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:10,847
Hold it there.
Police.

63
00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:12,327
Cullen, he's run...
He's running.Tolbeck, get him.

64
00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:13,806
Tol... Yeah,
chase him.

65
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,286
Oh, he's really fast.

66
00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:17,332
He's an athlete.Chase him.
Tolbeck, for...

67
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,377
Oh, well, he's gone.

68
00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:21,031
Are you serious
right now?

69
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,598
I'm so sorry.
He got away.

70
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,165
Did you even try?No.

71
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,776
My feet are not good
right now.

72
00:02:26,819 --> 00:02:28,604
CULLEN:
You have the right
to, uh, an attorney.

73
00:02:28,647 --> 00:02:31,215
If you can't afford an attorney,
one will be appointed to you

74
00:02:31,259 --> 00:02:33,217
by the court. Do you understand
the rights I've read to you?

75
00:02:33,261 --> 00:02:34,436
Watch your head.

76
00:02:37,874 --> 00:02:39,223
Oh, my God.

77
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,355
You guys are in so much trouble.

78
00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:42,313
Yeah, I know.You have no idea.

79
00:02:42,357 --> 00:02:44,663
No, we have some idea. Okay.No, you don't.
Look, I'm-I'm related

80
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,448
to a senator, okay?
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.

81
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:48,363
Distantly related to a senator.Did we have coffee here?

82
00:02:48,406 --> 00:02:49,668
What did we do
with our coffee?You are gonna remember this day

83
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:50,887
You threw it out.for the rest of your lives.

84
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:52,236
Fuck me.Oh, God.

85
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,325
So, w-what now?
Am I being charged or whatever

86
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:55,674
down at the station?

87
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:57,459
Yeah, you're being
charged, okay,

88
00:02:57,502 --> 00:03:00,897
under California penal code
247B: engaging in prostitution.

89
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:02,159
What?Yeah.

90
00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:03,465
Prostitution?That's right.

91
00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:05,423
Okay, that's insane.
Why would I do that?

92
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:07,208
I assume because
it's your job.

93
00:03:07,251 --> 00:03:08,470
My job?Yeah.

94
00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:10,515
Do... Okay, do you
not know who I am?

95
00:03:10,559 --> 00:03:12,996
I'm Amy Schumer.

96
00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:15,085
You're Amy Schumer?Yeah.

97
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,913
Who is that?Amy Schumer.

98
00:03:16,956 --> 00:03:19,089
She's a actress, a comic.
Right?

99
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,482
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

100
00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:21,918
I also write and I-I direct.
Hi.

101
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,963
Wh... I didn't know that.Yeah. Oh, yeah.

102
00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:25,487
That's amazing.It's time. It was time.

103
00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:27,358
I don't...But I'd like
to make a statement.

104
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:28,707
Okay?Okay.

105
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:32,494
I will be fighting this charge
tooth and nail.

106
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:34,974
You can fight it all you want,
but we know what we saw.

107
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,107
That's ridi... Why would
I prostitute myself?

108
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,239
I have so much money.

109
00:03:38,282 --> 00:03:39,240
Is she worth a lot?

110
00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,719
Yes. Very wealthy.

111
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,982
So successful. God.Okay.

112
00:03:43,026 --> 00:03:45,158
Look, that's a billboard
for my new special.

113
00:03:45,202 --> 00:03:47,160
Oh, wow.
You look great.

114
00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:49,511
That's you?Yeah, that's me.
What do you mean?

115
00:03:49,554 --> 00:03:51,164
Really?What do you mean, really?

116
00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:53,036
Yes, that's me, right th...
You know,

117
00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:54,646
they touch it up
a little, but...

118
00:03:54,690 --> 00:03:56,169
Did you catch it?

119
00:03:56,213 --> 00:03:57,301
I didn't see it yet. No.You didn't see it? Okay.

120
00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:58,781
Yeah, no, get to it whenever.

121
00:03:58,824 --> 00:04:01,479
So you were having sex
under a billboard of yourself?

122
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:04,177
Right. Okay, how crazy
would that be?[laughs]

123
00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:07,224
I have to look at my own
success just to get off.

124
00:04:07,268 --> 00:04:09,139
[laughs]
Yeah, can you imagine?

125
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,010
I don't have to imagine it.
We saw the whole thing.

126
00:04:11,054 --> 00:04:12,708
What did you even see?

127
00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,753
I saw you
sucking off a guy

128
00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:17,016
next to a dumpster.
Okay?

129
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,192
Is he allowed
to talk to me like that?

130
00:04:19,236 --> 00:04:20,846
Because I-I feel unsafe.

131
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:22,326
You should not
talk to her that way.

132
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,372
Yeah, please don't
talk to us that way.Wow.

133
00:04:24,415 --> 00:04:26,243
But we did see her sucking off
a guy by a dumpster.

134
00:04:26,287 --> 00:04:28,593
And then he sucked you off
by the dumpster, and then

135
00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:29,638
he fucked you against the wall.
We saw-we saw the whole thing.

136
00:04:29,681 --> 00:04:31,509
You can't talk to us like that.

137
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:33,076
You cannot talk to...
speak to us that way.We all saw you do it.

138
00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:34,730
We won't have to see it and we
don't have to talk about it.

139
00:04:34,773 --> 00:04:36,775
Okay, I want to make
a statement here.Another statement?

140
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,995
I want to make a statement,
on the record,

141
00:04:39,038 --> 00:04:41,954
that I will be fighting this
tooth and nail.Tooth and nail?

142
00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:44,000
And this will come up in court
when I'm on the stand.Okay.

143
00:04:44,043 --> 00:04:45,784
Fantastic. It's
gonna be a great day.

144
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:48,134
Dispatch, this is
car 34, come in.

145
00:04:48,178 --> 00:04:49,745
JANICE:
Car 34, go ahead.

146
00:04:49,788 --> 00:04:52,356
Uh, requesting a unit to pick up
a suspect for soliciting.

147
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,445
Ugh, great.
I'll put it on the list.

148
00:04:54,489 --> 00:04:56,186
"Ugh"?
I'm requesting a car.

149
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,536
Yeah, ugh.
It's low priority.

150
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,016
Just keep 'em in your car

151
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:01,757
and bring 'em in
at the end of your shift.

152
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,672
Janice, she doesn't smell good.

153
00:05:03,715 --> 00:05:06,152
Also, it's Amy Schumer.
Fun.

154
00:05:06,196 --> 00:05:07,153
Wait, really?

155
00:05:07,197 --> 00:05:09,330
Hi.Amy Schumer's in the car.

156
00:05:09,373 --> 00:05:11,506
Hey, you guys, do you think
Amy Schumer would do,

157
00:05:11,549 --> 00:05:14,900
like, a shout-out video
for my cousin's charity?Oh...

158
00:05:14,944 --> 00:05:17,468
Yeah, it's, uh, $12,000.

159
00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:20,993
Oh, hi.
Hi, Amy Schumer.

160
00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:23,387
Um, so, yeah,

161
00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:26,129
it's for a charity.
Uh, my little cousin...

162
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:28,218
Right, yeah, hey,
it doesn't matter

163
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,741
what the disease or animal is.

164
00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:31,482
It's a 12K flat rate.

165
00:05:31,526 --> 00:05:33,310
Really?

166
00:05:33,354 --> 00:05:35,965
Yeah, hon, look, there's a lot
of charities out there,

167
00:05:36,008 --> 00:05:37,401
and if you do one for free,
you're gonna wind up

168
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,360
doing 'em all for free, so...

169
00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:41,362
Oh. Okay.

170
00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:44,103
Yeah. Did you want me to
go ahead and book that for you?

171
00:05:44,147 --> 00:05:45,583
Um, no thanks.

172
00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:47,498
No problem.
We appreciate your inquiry.

173
00:05:47,542 --> 00:05:49,326
Okay, and hey, while I have you,

174
00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:52,155
I'd like to make a statement
on the record

175
00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:55,724
that I will be fighting
this charge tooth and nail.

176
00:05:56,768 --> 00:05:59,510
End quote.
Over and out.

177
00:05:59,554 --> 00:06:02,295
Okay, I think we got it.

178
00:06:02,339 --> 00:06:05,690
Can I just say, also,
that I don't care for you.

179
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:08,867
And I have a feeling that
your co-workers don't either.

180
00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:11,217
Hmm.

181
00:06:19,095 --> 00:06:20,139
So...

182
00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:23,273
Oh, fuck me.

183
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,014
FATIMA:
Is that the new supervisor?

184
00:06:25,057 --> 00:06:27,059
Huh?Wait, do you
know him?

185
00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:29,584
Huh? Yeah, no.
I-I don't know.

186
00:06:29,627 --> 00:06:31,586
Then why did you say,
"Oh, fuck me"?

187
00:06:31,629 --> 00:06:33,239
Because he looks
like a dipshit.

188
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,111
He does?

189
00:06:35,154 --> 00:06:37,374
JANICE:
Yeah. And now we work
for that dipshit.

190
00:06:37,418 --> 00:06:39,115
So, fuck me, right?

191
00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:41,422
I guess.

192
00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:44,250
♪

193
00:06:44,294 --> 00:06:46,514
[groans]

194
00:07:10,712 --> 00:07:12,322
[knocking]

195
00:07:16,239 --> 00:07:17,806
Who's there?

196
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,506
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

197
00:07:23,594 --> 00:07:25,596
Take your boots off.
I got here an hour ago.

198
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,293
I've been cleaning
the whole time.

199
00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:31,123
Wow, guy, thanks.

200
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,603
It's gonna be
that kind of day, huh?

201
00:07:36,215 --> 00:07:38,174
AMY:
I mean, it's so funny, right?

202
00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:39,218
Like,

203
00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:41,394
just why would I risk it all?

204
00:07:41,438 --> 00:07:44,006
Risk everything as just,
like, a dirty,

205
00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:46,748
like, sexy little street hooker?
[chuckles]

206
00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:48,445
It's like... I don't know,

207
00:07:48,489 --> 00:07:50,447
if I were to offer
to blow you guys

208
00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:52,449
for, like, $30 each,

209
00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:55,365
you know,
right here, right now,

210
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:56,845
in the back
of this car.

211
00:07:56,888 --> 00:07:59,238
Like, anybody could
come by and see us.

212
00:07:59,282 --> 00:08:01,850
I mean, that'd be insane, right?

213
00:08:01,893 --> 00:08:03,460
Yeah, that would
be insane.

214
00:08:03,504 --> 00:08:05,027
Yeah, exactly.Exactly.

215
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,158
Yeah.

216
00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:08,639
Like, 25 bucks a pop.

217
00:08:08,683 --> 00:08:10,293
Right here, right now.
Let's go.

218
00:08:11,555 --> 00:08:13,470
Wait, are you asking us, or...

219
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,910
God, no. No.

220
00:08:19,955 --> 00:08:21,652
Or even, like, 15 bucks?

221
00:08:21,696 --> 00:08:23,175
I can blow you guys
at the same time.

222
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:25,482
It really feels like you're
propositioning us right now,

223
00:08:25,526 --> 00:08:27,397
which is, in itself, a crime.Mm.

224
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,486
Right, yeah, as it should be.It is.

225
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:31,357
'Cause it's so wrong.Yeah.

226
00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:32,881
Yeah.Criminal.

227
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:34,491
So criminal.Yeah.

228
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:36,232
Yeah. It's, like...
[scoffs]

229
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:38,103
like, nine dollars,
you know,

230
00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:40,889
to fold both of your penises
in my mouth

231
00:08:40,932 --> 00:08:43,935
while you make intense
eye contact with each other.

232
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,200
A slow, unrushed...

233
00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:50,072
blowj.

234
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,247
No.

235
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:53,815
I agree with the no answer.

236
00:08:53,858 --> 00:08:56,644
Right.That's not something that
we want right now. [chuckles]

237
00:08:56,687 --> 00:08:58,123
Or ever.

238
00:08:58,167 --> 00:08:59,908
We never want that to happen.

239
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:02,606
So that's a big "no, thank you"
there, Amy Schumer.

240
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,260
Well, thank God.

241
00:09:04,303 --> 00:09:05,783
'Cause, guess what, I would

242
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:07,350
never do that.

243
00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:08,612
Okay?

244
00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:10,875
Okay?

245
00:09:13,748 --> 00:09:15,532
What is that?

246
00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:19,188
No, I'm just saying, like,
you know, this is crazy, right?

247
00:09:19,231 --> 00:09:21,016
Right. Okay. But don't
look at me like that, okay?

248
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:22,060
I don't like that.

249
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,151
What are you doing
with your eyes?

250
00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:28,153
I'm just saying
this is weird. Hello.

251
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:30,547
Yeah, it's pretty weird
when you look at me like that.

252
00:09:30,591 --> 00:09:33,855
Just look out the
window, please.

253
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:34,986
Could you look out
the window, please?

254
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:37,467
Okay. Fine.

255
00:09:41,602 --> 00:09:42,951
FATIMA:
Oh, my God.

256
00:09:42,994 --> 00:09:44,866
I'm looking up
what celebrities charge

257
00:09:44,909 --> 00:09:45,954
for posts...

258
00:09:45,997 --> 00:09:47,477
Hmm? What?

259
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,001
Okay, what's going
on with you?

260
00:09:50,045 --> 00:09:52,221
Do you know
the new supervisor?[sighs]

261
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:54,484
All right, fine.

262
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,094
I know the dipshit.

263
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,401
We started out together,
right here in dispatch.

264
00:09:58,444 --> 00:09:59,968
He was my first partner.

265
00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,230
Wow.

266
00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:03,275
Why don't you go say hi?

267
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:04,625
[scoffs]
Yeah.

268
00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,496
I'm gonna get out of my seat,

269
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,194
go into his office to say hi.

270
00:10:09,238 --> 00:10:12,241
Spare me your misogyny
bullshit, Fatima.

271
00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:13,503
I'm not a misogynist.

272
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,852
Well, you're not an ally.

273
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:17,681
Sorry. I just thought
something happened, like...

274
00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:20,205
an office romance
or something?

275
00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:22,164
What? Me and him?

276
00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:23,687
That's disgusting.

277
00:10:24,732 --> 00:10:26,298
I mean, I fucked him a little.

278
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:28,779
Don't judge me.

279
00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:30,607
This was during Y2K, all right?

280
00:10:30,651 --> 00:10:31,608
The world was ending.

281
00:10:31,652 --> 00:10:33,262
Nobody-nobody gave a shit.

282
00:10:33,305 --> 00:10:36,482
I wasn't judging.I'll go say hi if
it'll make you shut up.

283
00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:40,269
[sighs]

284
00:10:47,319 --> 00:10:48,538
[slurping]

285
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,801
MAN: Did you remember your silencer?

286
00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,195
[gargling, bubbling]

287
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:55,327
What do we know
about the target?

288
00:10:55,371 --> 00:10:57,590
Who are they?
What do they do?

289
00:10:58,766 --> 00:11:00,115
Nothing.

290
00:11:00,158 --> 00:11:03,466
Just whoever checks
into that room next.

291
00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:05,598
Cool. Great.

292
00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:07,600
Whoever checks into
that room next.

293
00:11:07,644 --> 00:11:11,169
They don't tell
us anything.

294
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,171
They don't send us a photo,

295
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,173
they don't tell us
when to expect...

296
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,132
What if the housekeeping person
comes into that room--

297
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,873
we gonna shoot her?

298
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:22,572
We just gonna kill her?
It doesn't make sense.

299
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,182
And they have the information.

300
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,488
Gary.

301
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:27,142
[exhales]

302
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:30,232
You know how many calories
are in this soda?

303
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:33,844
Uh... Bi... It's
big. I'm not sure.

304
00:11:33,888 --> 00:11:35,411
It's 2,000.

305
00:11:35,454 --> 00:11:39,197
And you know what my daily
calorie intake limit is?

306
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,199
I, uh...

307
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,680
2,100.

308
00:11:43,724 --> 00:11:45,769
So I'm all in on this.

309
00:11:45,813 --> 00:11:48,076
And I am trying to enjoy it.

310
00:11:48,119 --> 00:11:50,295
And you are ruining it.

311
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:52,776
[slurping]

312
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,082
Hey.

313
00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:56,606
Uh, let me ask you,
a-are you doing

314
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,304
the slurping on purpose, Chief?

315
00:12:01,393 --> 00:12:03,308
I think you're only supposed
to slurp at the end of a drink.

316
00:12:03,352 --> 00:12:05,093
You're slurping all
the way through it.

317
00:12:05,136 --> 00:12:07,399
Which tells me you're s...
just hovering

318
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,401
at the surface of the drink.

319
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,752
Gary!

320
00:12:11,795 --> 00:12:13,754
I-I didn't mean
to ruin your nice drink.

321
00:12:13,797 --> 00:12:16,104
Shut the fuck up.

322
00:12:16,147 --> 00:12:17,105
Yeah.

323
00:12:17,148 --> 00:12:19,150
[slurping]

324
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:25,156
AMY:
Can I be, like, Brené Brown real

325
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,637
with you all right now?Ooh.

326
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,726
[chuckles]
Okay. I actually

327
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:32,642
wasoffering
to blow you before.

328
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,165
Yeah. It felt real.

329
00:12:34,209 --> 00:12:35,340
Mm-hmm.[chuckles]:
Yeah.

330
00:12:35,384 --> 00:12:36,951
And I'm just so glad
that you said no,

331
00:12:36,994 --> 00:12:38,996
because, you know,
after being around you

332
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,911
and spending more time with you,
I realize, like,

333
00:12:40,955 --> 00:12:43,218
you're-you're really good guys.

334
00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:44,306
That's nice.
Thank you.

335
00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:46,264
You're just really old.

336
00:12:47,613 --> 00:12:49,354
Well, we said no anyway, so...

337
00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:51,617
D... I know. Thank God.Right.

338
00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:54,229
'Cause you're just from, like,
a different, older generation

339
00:12:54,272 --> 00:12:55,796
than me and I ju...
I know I wouldn't

340
00:12:55,839 --> 00:12:57,145
have been comfortable
if it came down to it.

341
00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:59,234
You know, we're not that old.Mm-hmm.

342
00:12:59,277 --> 00:13:00,235
Um, you're old.

343
00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:01,889
[sighs]

344
00:13:01,932 --> 00:13:05,240
Just thinking about
your old bodies

345
00:13:05,283 --> 00:13:09,113
and how your semen
causes cancer.

346
00:13:09,157 --> 00:13:10,898
The bad kind.

347
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:13,639
Our semen causes cancer?

348
00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:17,034
Oh, yeah. Studies are showing
that there's, like,

349
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:19,776
loads of carcinogens
in old come.

350
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,343
[sighs]Yeah.
That's not true.

351
00:13:21,386 --> 00:13:22,561
H-How do they know that?

352
00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:25,260
Oh, the radiation
was off the charts.

353
00:13:25,303 --> 00:13:26,435
Really?Mm-hmm.

354
00:13:26,478 --> 00:13:27,653
Like Chernobyl?

355
00:13:27,697 --> 00:13:29,090
Exactly like Chernobyl.

356
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,048
[moans]There's no way
it's true, Tolbeck.

357
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:33,572
[chuckles]: Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
there's no way that that's true.

358
00:13:33,616 --> 00:13:35,400
Right.

359
00:13:36,619 --> 00:13:39,143
But it does make
a little bit of sense to me.

360
00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:42,146
I mean, look, why do you
feel so bad when you make it?

361
00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:44,932
Is it because you're making
something that's bad?

362
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,498
Just don't.

363
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:53,157
Did you know
that "old cop, teen actress"

364
00:13:53,201 --> 00:13:55,856
is the most-searched porn
on the Internet?

365
00:13:57,118 --> 00:13:58,902
Mm.

366
00:13:58,946 --> 00:14:01,470
I specifically said no dairy.

367
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,602
Yeah.

368
00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:04,821
Come in.

369
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:07,258
Hi.

370
00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:08,912
Hello.

371
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:10,914
I'm Clint Bergman.

372
00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:12,481
Yes, I know.
Janice.

373
00:14:12,524 --> 00:14:14,265
Janice DeLongpre?

374
00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:18,661
Janice. Janice...

375
00:14:21,446 --> 00:14:23,709
[laughs]:
Oh, my God.

376
00:14:23,753 --> 00:14:25,233
Janice.Mm-hmm.

377
00:14:25,276 --> 00:14:26,234
How are you?

378
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:27,626
I'm great. You?

379
00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:29,106
Just-just doing swell.

380
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:31,195
Wow. How long
has it been?

381
00:14:31,239 --> 00:14:32,936
It has been 16 years.

382
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:34,895
Incredible.Yep.

383
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:36,679
We got old, huh?

384
00:14:36,722 --> 00:14:38,376
Yeah, I guess so.I see the wrinkle fairy

385
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,248
paid you a little visit.

386
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:41,510
Mm. Sure, sure.

387
00:14:41,553 --> 00:14:43,294
Been living out
in the desert

388
00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:47,037
or something?
Like, uh, Palmdale?

389
00:14:47,081 --> 00:14:48,691
Arizona?

390
00:14:48,734 --> 00:14:52,651
Because you have a kind of a
outdoorsy desert vibe going on.

391
00:14:52,695 --> 00:14:54,740
Mm. No.Hmm? Oh, okay.
No, I get it.

392
00:14:54,784 --> 00:14:57,830
You're just one of those women
who doesn't wear makeup at work.

393
00:14:57,874 --> 00:14:59,528
Got it. I respect that.

394
00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:01,356
No, actually,
I am wearing makeup.

395
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,314
Really? Okay.Yes.

396
00:15:03,358 --> 00:15:04,576
Give me a sec.

397
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,317
Sure.

398
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,711
[quietly]:
Yeah, it's me again.

399
00:15:08,754 --> 00:15:11,409
Can I get a softer
tungsten light in my office?

400
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:14,499
These fluros are brutal.
People look like monsters.

401
00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:16,110
Okay.
[chuckles]

402
00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:17,415
So,

403
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,461
what can I do you for?

404
00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,202
Just wanted to swing by,

405
00:15:21,245 --> 00:15:24,379
say hi, make sure
nothing was weird.

406
00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:26,250
All right?
Just thought it was important

407
00:15:26,294 --> 00:15:29,906
to make sure we're
on the right track. Okay?

408
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:31,734
Why would it be weird?

409
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:34,476
Oh, I don't know.
The Galápagos?

410
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,261
[laughs]:
Oh, my God.

411
00:15:37,305 --> 00:15:39,263
Yeah. Yeah.That's right.

412
00:15:39,307 --> 00:15:40,786
Yeah.Oh.

413
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,223
The Galápagos.Yeah.

414
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:45,008
Wow. That was... I
mean, we were just,

415
00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:47,271
we were just kids back then.

416
00:15:47,315 --> 00:15:48,751
Way to dodge a bullet, huh?

417
00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:50,927
Yeah. That would've
been a huge mistake.

418
00:15:50,971 --> 00:15:52,407
Huge.

419
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,713
Absolutely. Well,

420
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:56,193
thanks for dropping by.

421
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:58,804
Okay. Right.Yeah. I better, uh...

422
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,677
...I better get back to it.Yeah.

423
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,200
Look busy, so,
uh, we're good?

424
00:16:03,244 --> 00:16:05,246
Y... 100%.Okay. Okay.

425
00:16:05,289 --> 00:16:07,465
Bye.

426
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,901
Thanks, Janet.

427
00:16:08,945 --> 00:16:10,251
Janice.

428
00:16:18,085 --> 00:16:19,303
[slurping]

429
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,267
I'm just... I'm
starting to think

430
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,833
we've killed too
many people, Chief.

431
00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:30,575
Like, 18 is
just too many.

432
00:16:30,619 --> 00:16:33,361
Fuck.
What happened?

433
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,450
How did we get
here, man?

434
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:37,234
When we were kids, man,

435
00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:39,497
we just liked riding bicycles
everywhere. You remember that?

436
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,890
Then we got a
little bit older,

437
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,326
and we wanted to
get a motorcycle.

438
00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:45,895
You got one first
and I followed suit.

439
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,289
And then we were both riding
motorcycles all the time.

440
00:16:48,332 --> 00:16:52,293
It was great. And we ran
into Jules and Jinx and Snoop

441
00:16:52,336 --> 00:16:55,470
and those guys, and we were
like, "Hey, you guys are cool,

442
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:57,472
like-minded, you got bikes."

443
00:16:57,515 --> 00:17:00,083
So we started riding
all the time with them.

444
00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:01,998
And then they...
then they beat the shit

445
00:17:02,042 --> 00:17:03,608
out of that one guy
for no reason.

446
00:17:03,652 --> 00:17:06,524
And-and we kind of
questioned it, but then we also

447
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,222
kicked his ass, too.

448
00:17:08,265 --> 00:17:10,180
We didn't know
what we were doing.

449
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:13,662
Before we know it, bang--
there we are, we're in a gang.

450
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,752
And now we're
killing people, man.

451
00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:21,365
We're taking human life, Chief.
That's insane.

452
00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:24,194
I just liked riding
bikes, like, didn't...

453
00:17:24,238 --> 00:17:25,848
wasn't this
a means to an end?

454
00:17:25,891 --> 00:17:29,112
Weren't we just gonna do this
until we could go open our bar?

455
00:17:29,156 --> 00:17:31,201
And now here we are,
sitting here talking

456
00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:34,422
about the 19th murder
we're about to do together.

457
00:17:34,465 --> 00:17:35,988
You're probably just anxious

458
00:17:36,032 --> 00:17:37,425
'cause you messed up
the last job.

459
00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:40,210
I did not mess up
the last job.

460
00:17:40,254 --> 00:17:42,517
They said kill that guy,
and I killed that guy.

461
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,302
Yeah.
You shot him.

462
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:48,175
You were told
to set him on fire.

463
00:17:48,218 --> 00:17:49,263
Yeah, well,

464
00:17:49,306 --> 00:17:50,873
what's the difference?
Guy's dead.

465
00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:52,353
Uh, it's a big difference.

466
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:54,355
[rhythmic squeaking in distance]

467
00:17:54,398 --> 00:17:55,573
Hear that?

468
00:17:57,575 --> 00:17:59,403
People fucking.

469
00:18:01,231 --> 00:18:03,886
God, I wish
that was us.

470
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,889
I wish that we were fucking,
I mean.

471
00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:08,282
What?No, no.

472
00:18:08,325 --> 00:18:09,848
I don't-I don't mean
you and I.

473
00:18:09,892 --> 00:18:12,721
I mean, yes, you and I.
But with someone else, here...

474
00:18:12,764 --> 00:18:13,896
to-to take it.

475
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:17,160
Chief, I wish you and I

476
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,249
had a person, here,

477
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:21,469
that we were fucking, together.

478
00:18:23,732 --> 00:18:25,429
Different.
I wish you and I

479
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,344
were fucking a different person.[squeaking stops]

480
00:18:27,388 --> 00:18:29,912
Oh.
They're done.

481
00:18:30,956 --> 00:18:32,219
[sighs]

482
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,879
FATIMA:
Ugh. Broken sewage pipe.

483
00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,185
Gross.

484
00:18:42,229 --> 00:18:44,535
Car 34?CULLEN: This is car 34. Come in.

485
00:18:44,579 --> 00:18:46,885
Car 34, you are required
at the corner

486
00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:48,539
of Balboa Ave and Conroy Street.

487
00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:50,541
We have a sewage pipe
that has burst.

488
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:53,022
Copy that. Fuck.What's happening?

489
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,199
We got a new detail.What does that mean?

490
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:59,550
I'm still getting arrested,
right? Charged? Mug shot?No.

491
00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:01,552
They're not gonna see...No, it's your lucky
night. Get out.

492
00:19:01,596 --> 00:19:04,164
Oh... No, no, no, no, no.
You have to be kidding me.

493
00:19:04,207 --> 00:19:06,078
Uh, you promised.We promised?

494
00:19:06,122 --> 00:19:07,297
You-you promised.

495
00:19:07,341 --> 00:19:08,342
No, no, we're not,
we're not doing that.

496
00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:09,995
AMY: Yes!Get out, Schumer.

497
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:11,867
No! No!
I'm not asking!
I'm not asking you!

498
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:13,434
I'm, well, I'm telling you
I'll go to the shit sewer!Time out, time out.

499
00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:15,479
You're fucking strange.Time... time out, guys.

500
00:19:15,523 --> 00:19:16,654
Oh...

501
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,003
Listen, Amy?

502
00:19:18,047 --> 00:19:20,092
It seems like you want
to be arrested.

503
00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:21,137
What's up with that?

504
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:23,270
[exhales]

505
00:19:23,313 --> 00:19:25,533
Fine. You know how
I just had a baby, right?

506
00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:27,230
No, but go on.

507
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,711
Really? That's weird.

508
00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:33,105
It was, like, very important,
like, viral news,

509
00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:34,716
that I had a baby.
Okay.

510
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:37,284
All right. Anyway,
I had a baby, and-and...

511
00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:40,200
well, it really fucked me up.

512
00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:43,028
How? Was the birth,
uh, rough or something?

513
00:19:43,072 --> 00:19:46,118
No. No, nothing like that.
No, it fucked my careerup.

514
00:19:46,162 --> 00:19:48,164
TOLBECK and CULLEN: Oh...Yeah. Yeah.

515
00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:50,384
Turns out having a baby
wasn't, like, "on brand"

516
00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:52,386
for me, or whatever.Did you say
"on brand"?

517
00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:55,389
Yeah. All the offers
I'm getting now for work

518
00:19:55,432 --> 00:19:59,306
are, like... like,
uh-uh, for a mop commercial.

519
00:19:59,349 --> 00:20:01,308
Okay.That's how the industry
sees me now.

520
00:20:01,351 --> 00:20:03,571
Mm-hmm.I'm just, like,
a fucking mopping mom,

521
00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:05,399
who mops.

522
00:20:05,442 --> 00:20:07,923
Well, that is different
from what you'd done before,

523
00:20:07,966 --> 00:20:09,141
but change is good.

524
00:20:09,185 --> 00:20:10,142
Come on!

525
00:20:10,186 --> 00:20:12,232
Okay.AMY: Keep it
one hundred.

526
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:13,320
Let's do it.

527
00:20:13,363 --> 00:20:14,538
I'm sorry, one hun...
that just means,

528
00:20:14,582 --> 00:20:16,192
like, be
completely honest.

529
00:20:16,236 --> 00:20:17,976
TOLBECK: With each other.It's like a new,
generational thing.

530
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,326
Why do youknow that?

531
00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:20,588
AMY: Listen, you don't
know anything about me,

532
00:20:20,631 --> 00:20:22,242
and you don't know anything
about my baby.

533
00:20:22,285 --> 00:20:25,070
My baby hates me.
Hates me!

534
00:20:25,114 --> 00:20:27,508
Mm-hmm.
AMY: I had one of
those water births,

535
00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:30,859
and as soon as my baby
came floating out,

536
00:20:30,902 --> 00:20:35,167
with all the blood, turds,
and you know, regular turds

537
00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:38,258
and... yellow turds,

538
00:20:38,301 --> 00:20:41,261
like, just a bunch of turds...Yeah.

539
00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:44,220
[sighs] It just reminded me
of when I was younger.

540
00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:45,352
I was in this local pool,

541
00:20:45,395 --> 00:20:49,573
and, um, my mom
had made me this,

542
00:20:49,617 --> 00:20:51,358
like, fucked up
lentil thing

543
00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:53,273
for lunch, you know?

544
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,187
And I just kind of

545
00:20:55,231 --> 00:20:57,320
over-trusted a fart,

546
00:20:57,364 --> 00:21:00,845
and... I knew
my life was ruined.

547
00:21:00,889 --> 00:21:03,892
Mm.And right then, I-I saw that

548
00:21:03,935 --> 00:21:06,286
doggy paddling nearby

549
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:09,637
was Christina Tasuji,
and I just...

550
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,074
I just kind of moved
my bathing suit to the side,

551
00:21:12,117 --> 00:21:14,294
and... [sighs]

552
00:21:14,337 --> 00:21:16,165
I let it creep out.

553
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,255
I just kind of
splashed it over her way.

554
00:21:19,299 --> 00:21:22,519
And once
it was bobbing

555
00:21:22,563 --> 00:21:24,260
around her,
I just yelled,

556
00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:26,523
"Christina pooped in the pool!"Mm-hmm.

557
00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:28,743
"Look, everyone, she deuced!"

558
00:21:28,786 --> 00:21:30,179
And all the kids,
they just

559
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,399
freaked out,
you know, kids.

560
00:21:32,442 --> 00:21:33,574
They're so mean.Mm-hmm.

561
00:21:33,617 --> 00:21:35,576
They just started screaming,

562
00:21:35,619 --> 00:21:39,667
and they just
made fun of her, and...

563
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,365
and that was her nickname
for the rest of high school.

564
00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:43,584
What?

565
00:21:43,627 --> 00:21:47,414
Christina Ta-poo-ji.
Like "poo."

566
00:21:47,457 --> 00:21:48,937
Yeah.

567
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:52,462
And then, like, 11 years later,
her uncle overdosed.

568
00:21:52,506 --> 00:21:55,596
That's a horrible story.AMY: Yeah.

569
00:21:55,639 --> 00:21:58,250
[tearful]:
This is really hard on me.TOLBECK: Mm-hmm.

570
00:21:58,294 --> 00:21:59,382
I really trust you guys,

571
00:21:59,426 --> 00:22:01,384
'cause I don't usually
tell anybody this.

572
00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:03,647
[Amy crying]Okay.

573
00:22:03,691 --> 00:22:05,083
AMY:
I mean...

574
00:22:05,127 --> 00:22:09,261
my baby...
he's always been with me.

575
00:22:09,305 --> 00:22:11,394
Women are born
with all their eggs.

576
00:22:11,438 --> 00:22:13,483
He was in that pool
with me that day.

577
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:16,399
On a cellular level,
he knows that I'm a bad person,

578
00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:17,618
and he won't let me forget it.

579
00:22:17,661 --> 00:22:19,402
Look, I'm sure he'll
grow to love you...

580
00:22:19,446 --> 00:22:21,404
No, he won't![quietly]: Ow.

581
00:22:21,448 --> 00:22:23,145
Look, it's done between us.

582
00:22:23,188 --> 00:22:25,800
See, this isn't about me,
or my baby who hates me.

583
00:22:25,843 --> 00:22:27,367
This is about something
bigger than that.

584
00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:28,846
This is about my career.

585
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:31,066
All right?
Okay. Okay.

586
00:22:31,109 --> 00:22:33,198
And it's over.
Okay. So--

587
00:22:33,242 --> 00:22:35,418
And to correct that, you want
to get a criminal record?

588
00:22:35,462 --> 00:22:38,769
I don't get that.No. I get it.

589
00:22:38,813 --> 00:22:41,381
She wants
a mug shot, right?

590
00:22:41,424 --> 00:22:43,208
You want to do
a perp walk.Yeah.

591
00:22:43,252 --> 00:22:44,732
You know,
like Nick Nol-tay.

592
00:22:44,775 --> 00:22:46,342
Like Nicholas fucking Nol-tay.

593
00:22:46,386 --> 00:22:48,170
Yeah, he got
a best-selling memoir

594
00:22:48,213 --> 00:22:49,301
after he got arrested.Mm-hmm.

595
00:22:49,345 --> 00:22:51,652
Reese Witherspoon,
she cursed out a cop.

596
00:22:51,695 --> 00:22:53,349
Big Little Emmy.TOLBECK: Mm.

597
00:22:53,393 --> 00:22:55,177
Okay?Are we saying Nol-tay?

598
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,266
Yeah, Nick Nol-tay.That's his name,
Nick Nol-tay.

599
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,268
Okay. I guess
it makes sense.

600
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,748
But I'm sorry, we can't
help you out tonight.

601
00:23:00,791 --> 00:23:03,403
We got something else
to do, so, I'm sorry.

602
00:23:03,446 --> 00:23:05,143
Well, I guess
I could write her up.

603
00:23:05,187 --> 00:23:07,319
[exhales]
What's that?

604
00:23:07,363 --> 00:23:09,060
Well, I'd write you
a ticket,

605
00:23:09,104 --> 00:23:10,322
you show up in court
and contest it.

606
00:23:10,366 --> 00:23:11,933
Ooh!Yeah, that would
make news.

607
00:23:11,976 --> 00:23:13,587
A lot of people would pay
attention to that.

608
00:23:13,630 --> 00:23:15,850
Oh, my God. I'm kind of
loving that. A day in court?Mm-hmm.

609
00:23:15,893 --> 00:23:18,113
I get a day in
court? Pencil skirt.

610
00:23:18,156 --> 00:23:19,767
Yes, bitch.AMY [chuckling]: Okay.

611
00:23:19,810 --> 00:23:21,551
Amazing. Can you
roll down your window?

612
00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:22,900
Yeah, sure.
Why?

613
00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:24,336
Joe! Joe!

614
00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:26,426
TOLBECK: Who is Joe?AMY: My lit agent.

615
00:23:26,469 --> 00:23:28,123
Joe! Oh.There he is.

616
00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:29,733
Evening, gentlemen.
How's it going?Great.

617
00:23:29,777 --> 00:23:31,082
Joseph Farrell.Okay.

618
00:23:31,126 --> 00:23:32,562
Jose-- Joe Farrell.Are you the guy

619
00:23:32,606 --> 00:23:34,390
who was having sex
with her by the dumpster?

620
00:23:34,434 --> 00:23:35,391
That wasme.Wow.

621
00:23:35,435 --> 00:23:36,784
I was wearing
a fake beard.
Huh.

622
00:23:36,827 --> 00:23:39,090
Wow, you were really quick.Hey.

623
00:23:39,134 --> 00:23:40,701
Thanks, man.
AMY: Joe, get
a picture of me

624
00:23:40,744 --> 00:23:42,354
getting arrested.
I look pissed.

625
00:23:42,398 --> 00:23:44,226
From from above, flash,

626
00:23:44,269 --> 00:23:46,358
really high up, so it looks
like I'm, like, sick.JOSEPH: Absolutely.

627
00:23:46,402 --> 00:23:47,838
Yeah, I love it.Like I lost the baby weight.

628
00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:53,496
Looks really good.Okay, and, and then, this one,

629
00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:55,455
you guys, like, kind of,
be screaming at me.

630
00:23:55,498 --> 00:23:56,412
I don't know if
we should be in it.

631
00:23:56,456 --> 00:23:57,718
Yeah. You guys, it's fine.

632
00:23:58,806 --> 00:23:59,937
Uh, it feels
kind of staged.
Okay. And then

633
00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:01,461
this one, we're sexual,

634
00:24:01,504 --> 00:24:02,505
this one's kind of, like,
sexual.I don't like-- Okay.

635
00:24:02,549 --> 00:24:04,202
JOSEPH: Oh,
America hates you.

636
00:24:04,246 --> 00:24:06,204
Okay, I think that's gonna
work great.All right.

637
00:24:06,248 --> 00:24:08,076
There you go.AMY: Yeah, you got it.

638
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:09,773
And I'm back on the map.
Right, Joey?

639
00:24:09,817 --> 00:24:12,515
Well, it was nice meeting you,
thank you. Bye-bye.

640
00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:14,299
Bye.

641
00:24:14,343 --> 00:24:16,301
Oh. Wow. She didn't even
say goodbye.

642
00:24:16,345 --> 00:24:19,000
No. I guess that's
how she rolls.

643
00:24:19,043 --> 00:24:20,305
Sad.

644
00:24:20,349 --> 00:24:22,133
Hey, I wanted to tell you.

645
00:24:22,177 --> 00:24:24,005
Uh, remember when she was
talking to us earlier

646
00:24:24,048 --> 00:24:26,616
about you and I together,
with her?

647
00:24:26,660 --> 00:24:28,879
Looking into
each other's eyes,

648
00:24:28,923 --> 00:24:30,402
and she would do it
for nine dollars?

649
00:24:30,446 --> 00:24:31,795
Yeah, I remember that.

650
00:24:31,839 --> 00:24:33,623
I just want you to know, I...

651
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:34,972
I have the nine dollars.

652
00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:37,845
Why are you
telling me that?

653
00:24:37,888 --> 00:24:39,281
Because I thought
you didn't want to do it

654
00:24:39,324 --> 00:24:40,325
because you didn't have
nine dollars.

655
00:24:40,369 --> 00:24:41,544
No, that wasn't the reason

656
00:24:41,588 --> 00:24:43,198
I didn't do it.
Oh, well,

657
00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:44,504
I just want you to know,

658
00:24:44,547 --> 00:24:46,157
if we're ever
in that situation again...

659
00:24:46,201 --> 00:24:47,855
I have nine dollars.

660
00:24:47,898 --> 00:24:49,944
You know what
I'm saying?I know what you're saying,

661
00:24:49,987 --> 00:24:52,468
I just don't know why
you're saying it.
Okay.

662
00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:56,167
Let's go to
the shit sewer, huh?Yeah, shit sewer.

663
00:24:56,211 --> 00:25:00,737
♪ I want to be tantamount
to cordial ♪

664
00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:04,306
♪ Tantamount to good

665
00:25:04,349 --> 00:25:07,265
♪ She can't make it to her car

666
00:25:07,309 --> 00:25:09,224
♪ Without making... Oh, he's so cute.

667
00:25:09,267 --> 00:25:10,834
I want to have a baby one day.

668
00:25:10,878 --> 00:25:12,270
Oh. Here.

669
00:25:12,314 --> 00:25:14,055
♪ Everybody hollering her name No, I mean my own...

670
00:25:14,098 --> 00:25:15,273
Right....baby.

671
00:25:17,711 --> 00:25:21,279
♪ She's making friends

672
00:25:21,323 --> 00:25:24,848
♪ I'm turning stranger

673
00:25:27,329 --> 00:25:29,940
♪ The people on her end

674
00:25:31,246 --> 00:25:34,945
♪ Couldn't make it plainer

675
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:41,909
♪ Sometimes I wish
we'd never came here ♪

676
00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:48,306
♪ Seeing as I'm held
in such disdain here... ♪

677
00:25:48,350 --> 00:25:50,004
MAN:
Guh-doosh.

678
00:25:50,047 --> 00:25:53,007
[whip cracking]

679
00:25:53,050 --> 00:25:56,010
[drums beating, tribal grunt]

680
00:25:56,053 --> 00:25:58,012
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

681
00:25:58,055 --> 00:26:00,971
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org