RISOLI: That's Magnolia. The grill man.
-All right. I'm gonna go in. -Ali right, I'm going in.
-What? -No, I'm going in.
Uh, no offense, but you look like a cop.
No offense, but I look like an FBI special agent,
-which I am. -No.
You look like a cop
dressed up as an FBI agent for Halloween.
You are way too thirsty for that candy, man.
No. Let me go in.
-No. -Look at me.
I just look like a rego Steak Boy patron,
and you know why?
-'Cause you are one. Right. -I am one.
This is not an undercover operation, okay?
-Don't be that guy. -What guy?
The "this isn't an undercover operation" guy.
This isn't an undercover operation.
-It could be. -We just need to talk to him.
Yeah, so let's do that. Undercover.
How does that work? He already knows your face.
That's the challenge. We go deep undercover.
-No. -Real character-based shit.
-Flex those muscles. -No.
You'll be Hank from Tennessee.
[in accent]: And I'll be Linda from Chicago.
That's not happening, Risoli. None of this is happening.
Well, then, you know what, I'm out.
-Oh, you're out? -Yeah, I'm out.
Good! 'Cause that's what I wanted you to be
in the first place. I'm going in alone.
You know what, you are really pushing
this "will they, won't they" thing, and it's just too hard.
-All right? Just tone it down. -Excuse me?
It'll happen or it won't.
-Stop forcing it. -Okay, enough.
I'm going in by myself.
Oh, that makes me hot.
All right, stop forcing it. Stop it.
Jesus Christ.
[honks horn]
Hey, hey. Could you get me a steak Diane?
-[honks horn] -Well done, please.
♪
-[food sizzling] -Magnolia?
I've been expecting you.
-You have? -And if you think I'm ever gonna
call you Dad, you're sorely mistaken.
I think you've been expecting someone else.
You're not Rene?
No, I'm FBI Special Agent Cullen,
and I'd like to ask you some questions.
You're a cop? You do not look like a cop.
Yes. I'm FBI.
I see. Well, I've been expecting you, too.
Okay. Can we just go, please?
[horn honking]
Oh, a-and, uh, could I please get a steak Diane?
-[horn honks] -Yes, I'm doing it!
I'm doing it now!
Well done.
♪
CULLEN: Okay, how you feeling? You good?
Can we get you anything, or...?
I'll take a crème brûlée.
Unless there are any specials I should know about.
No, we don't, we don't do that.
All right. Any soufflé will be fine.
No. We have water or coffee.
Hey, coffee. That's what I want.
Thanks.
Okay, so tell us about the Collective.
14 months, I lived in that hellhole before I escaped.
It's hard for me just being this close to that place.
We understand.
-I mean, I don't. -[shushes]
-Do you want sugar? -No sugar!
I'm sorry. I'm just...
-I'm on edge. -It's okay. It's okay.
You're in a safe place.
Now, what can you tell us about life in the cult?
Is there anything incriminating that you could tell us,
that we could use against them, or...?
Is a secret drug lab incriminating enough?
Depends on the drug.
Ever wonder why there's so many children running around?
No. Please say they work the drug lab.
Please say they work the drug lab.
-Yeah, they work the drug lab. -[scoffs] Narc.
-Excuse me? -You're being a narc.
[phone buzzes]
Magnolia, if you could go back in there
and get footage for us...
You can't ask me to go back in there.
I-I put it all in the basement, and I threw away the key.
Right, but we can help you.
[sighs]
All right. I'll go to the basement.
-Cullen, do we have a basement? -Shut the fuck up.
Okay.
I'm going down the stairs.
I'm at the door.
-Okay. -It's locked.
-Yeah, you threw away the key. -I did. Well, I tried.
No, no, no. Think carefully. Is there a spare somewhere?
Under a mat, or in one of those fake rocks?
Oh, wh-whoa, wait, it's not locked.
-It was just jammed. -Great.
Now I'm wondering what that key I threw away was.
No, don't worry about that now.
-Okay, I've opened the door. -Yeah.
Yeah, oh, there's some water damage.
That's what must have caused the door to swell.
I should look into that.
Okay, yeah, don't-don't do that now.
-Okay, I see it now. -Okay.
Everything that happened to me
-inside the Collective. -What's there?
-[grunting]: This is not good. -No?
-This is, this is, this is bad. -Yeah.
-Oh, oh, it hurts! -Oh.
-Oh, you're hurting me. -It's okay.
It's okay.
Terry ruined my life.
Exactly.
Now, don't you want to help us take them down?
I'll consider it.
But only if you could help me with my payback.
Yes, that's what this is. Payback.
No, I want payback.
Payback on... Oh!
[groaning]: Leg cramp.
Payback on my brother.
I want him gone.
Whoa.
Cut to commercial.
♪
-[footsteps approaching] -Hello? Uh, Sue?
Uh, who's there?
Hi, I'm Madison. You Dirk?
-Mm-hmm. -Cool.
I'm your kid, and you're on laundry duty.
Uh, uh, I'm sorry?
Laundry duty is in the basement of the main building.
I see, and-and how does that make you my kid?
You applied to have a child within the Collective to raise?
-We did. -Well, congratulations.
It's a girl.
What, this is how it works?
Yep. That's how this works.
Okay, this seems crazy. I-I haven't met Terry yet.
My wife has been gone for two days now,
and sorry, but how old are you?
-15. -15?
You actually look older.
Let me guess, you wanted a baby?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
Man.
I don't get everyone's obsession with babies.
So fucking overrated.
Okay, I-I-I'm sorry.
My-my wife Sue really has her heart set on a baby.
Uh, she can't have children.
Medically, it's not possible.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you.
It's cool. I can take it.
I'm a big girl.
Yes, you are.
Look, apparently the decision is final.
I already asked Terry for a switch.
So, you've met Terry, too?
Everyone's met Terry, except me.
Uh, nothing on the books.
But that's good, you and Terry chatted and this is...
this is final, is it?
Yeah, I'm not happy either.
I had my eye on a couple that owned two AT quads.
Not one, fucking two.
I don't even know what that is.
All. Terrain. Quad bikes.
I see, and-and you like quad bikes, do you?
Yeah, they fucking rip.
You got one?
Quad bike? No.
Yeah, didn't think so.
Well, fucking sucks to be me, I guess.
That's enough with the casual swearing, thank you, Madison.
It's not cool, and it doesn't make you seem mature.
So if anyone should be upset here, it's me.
I came here for a new life, and it's been very trying,
but Terry obviously put us together for a reason.
I believe the mature thing to do in this situation
is to give it a go. Agreed?
Mm.
Use your words, please.
Yes!
Right, then let's go do some laundry,
which I truly hope is code
for some sort of surveillance operation.
How tall are... [stammers]
Doesn't matter. Not important.
Uh, we hear you about your brother,
-and we understand totally. -No, I don't understand.
What does he owe you?
Millions, but it's not about the money anymore.
-I want him gone. -Gone, like dead?
I didn't say dead. You said dead.
No, we're not offing anyone.
Exactly, you can't say that.
Nor can we do that.
Right.
That's what you have to say.
JFK. 9/11. Bay of Crabs. I get it.
-You mean Bay of Pigs. -The Bay of Crabs
makes the Bay of Pigs look like the Bay of Geese.
[chuckles]: Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
-No, you haven't. -What did your brother do?
Risoli, could we just stay on...?
Oh, nothing much.
Just stole my life from me.
-[sighs]: Oh, for f... -When I turned three,
my mom and dad gave me
a kid's tennis racquet for my birthday,
And that summer, from sunrise to sunset,
I'd hit the one tennis ball we had
against the back of our barn.
I loved it.
So my dad put me in tennis lessons.
For three years, I lived and breathed tennis.
It was church for me.
But then my little brother turned three.
Okay, could we just cut to the chase here, please?
What happened?
He gets my Slazenger racquet.
-[Cullen sighs] -As if that wasn't enough,
my dad puts him in lessons with me.
I didn't want him to
because he was a stupid little whiny fucking baby,
but I didn't have a choice.
So he starts coming to practice.
And suddenly, my perfect world isn't pure anymore.
It's not just me and the ball.
It's me and the ball
and my whiny fucking brother watching me hit the ball,
which breaks my concentration.
Which makes me miss shots, so I get mad.
And when I get mad, my coach makes me take a time-out.
And when I'm in a time-out,
my fuckhead little whiny piece of shit brother
would get up and hit the ball.
And the more that happened, the angrier I got.
The more time-outs, the more practice he got.
It was a vicious circle, until he was better than me.
-And then what happened? -I'll tell you what happened.
He won 14 Grand Slams
and held the world number one spot for a total of 286 weeks.
That's what happened.
Holy shit.
Your brother is Pete Sampras?
Pete ruined my life, and I want him dead.
[phone rings]
-Alan? -Fuller. It's Cullen.
Aw. What is it, Cullen?
Great news. I made a contact
that says there's a drug lab in the Collective.
And get this, it's run by kids.
-And who is this contact? -Ex-cult.
He's been in there. He's seen it himself.
-He goes by the name Magnolia. -Have you vetted him?
-Yeah. Checks out. -Okay, what's the plan?
We send him in with the wire,
uh, we get proof that the lab is still in there,
and then we get a warrant and we go in.
[sighs] You know, honestly, I could use a fucking win.
-So, you probably heard... -[phone buzzes]
that Alan has poisoned the kids against me.
-[beeps] -And my 16-year-old daughter is
slut shaming me on social media.
-So, what do you need? -Right, uh...
So, he wants $15,000 to go in there.
No, anything else?
Uh, well, he claims that his younger brother is Pete Sampras.
Okay.
And he wants Sampras's 1996 U.S. Open trophy.
-Nope. -Well, those are his conditions.
And he's not getting them.
Can you make this work or not?
Yes.
Glad to hear it. Now let me know when it's a go.
-[click] -Well?
I mean, that's on you.
I cut a great deal.
Did you know you don't need a license
to own an ATV in California?
No, I did not know that.
Yeah, as long as you can reach the pedals, you're good to go.
Fascinating.
Leaving behind the ATV chat for just a sec,
what else can you tell me about this place, Madison?
-Like what? -Like anything.
I'm completely in the dark.
Uh, what are the other people here like?
A-Are there other people?
How long did theywait to meet Terry?
Ooh, I need to sit down.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. It'll pass.
It's just morning sickness.
Anyway, the only real law you need,
uh, is to have taillights on your ATV.
-What?! -Oh, that's if you want
to make it street legal,
which I don't give a shit about.
Morning sickness?
You didn't think to mention you're pregnant?
Well, I don't know you. Why would I open with that?
Who got you pregnant?
Not that it's your business,
but Kick.
"Kick," like... like the verb?
Am I hearing this right?
Kick? Who's Kick?
Arthur's brother.
Arthur's my boyfriend, or was at the time.
Yeah, it was a whole thing.
Kick and Arthur are brothers?
Those names just don't go together at all.
-But anyways, continue. -Continue what?
The story of how you got pregnant.
Ew! Gross!
I'm not telling you how I got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm not asking for details.
I'm-I'm just asking what happened.
What happened literally is the details, perv.
Okay, do not call me a perv, Madison.
I have never taken advantage of anyone, ever.
If you want to call me names,
why don't you try something like Mr. Consensual?
You want me to call you Mr. Consensual?
Ah, that's way worse than "pedo."
-You said "perv." -All right. Perv.
Okay, do not test me, Madison, because you have no idea
how many 15-year-olds I've brought to their knees.
Uh, uh, metaphorically, because I... I used to be a-a teacher.
-Yeah. -Fine.
Mr. Consensual. You got it.
Okay, no, no, no. You know what? No titles.
Yeah, just, you say, "Hey, you,"
I'll know that you're talking to me,
and I'll call you "Hey."
Oh, God. We... Ugh.
♪
Okay, $80 now, and when the job is done,
I can get you another $300.
-I call bullshit. -Risoli.
-You said $15K and the trophy. -I did.
Now it's 380 bucks and the trophy?
Yeah, I-I... I am confident that we'll get it.
-How confident? -Hey, Magnolia,
this is my own money, okay?
That's how much I believe in you.
He can afford it. Special agents are loaded.
Risoli, will you shut the fuck up?
No, I'm with her. You can do better.
-[phone buzzes] -[sighs]
Tolbeck, I'm in the middle of something.
-You have ADHD, right? -What? No.
Well, if anyone asks, can you say you do?
It's just that, while I'm on suspension,
I'm getting daily house checks,
and they found some dextroamphetamine,
and I said it was yours.
-What the fuck? Why? -'Cause I thought
people would believe that because of how you are.
I don't have time for this, Tolbeck.
That's okay. I'll hold.
Okay, so, sorry. Where were we?
You were trying to explain why your arms are so short
when your pockets are so deep.
I'm not loaded! $80 is all I have in my wallet, okay?
I don't know, man. I mean, I want to help you and all,
but it was just so hard to get out of that place.
Now you want me to go back in?
And the mosquitoes from the Collective only just stopped.
-Mosquitoes? -If you manage to get out,
they assign mosquitoes to call you
and email you and text you and egg your house.
And stuff your mailbox with Valpaks
and rearrange your landscaping really subtly over time
so you're never sure if that bush is moving
or if you're slowly losing your mind.
Listen, Magnolia, I can't do this without you, okay?
But if we come together on this,
we can combine and destroy this cult together.
-Yeah, but... -Look, you and I care
about injustice, Magnolia.
We care about not letting the bullies get away with it,
because every time they do, it's another drip in the bucket
of broken promises that is weighing this country down
and holding us back.
'Cause we're patriots, am I right?
And I know it's not cool or hip
to be a patriot these days, okay?
People ridicule us for that, but you know what?
We eat ridicule for breakfast,
humiliation for lunch, and name-calling for dinner.
And when we wake up in the morning,
we drink a steaming hot cup of joe,
and then we shit red, white and blue all over the place.
-Give me that wire. -Good man.
-And the 80 bucks. -Yeah.
DIRK: Okay. This is ridiculous.
Why am I hanging out laundry?!
There's no dryers at all?
Mm, told you. This place fucking sucks.
Language. Madison, I'd like to say something,
and I'd like you to pay attention, please.
Ugh. Don't try and act like you're my dad.
This whole adoption thing here is just a scam
to get child welfare for the Collective.
Wait. Really?! You know what? That's not the point.
But I am going to circle back to it later.
Uh, the point is, I know what it's like
to be unfairly judged for matters of the heart, Madison.
I don't know. Arthur is a dick.
Kick is slightly less a dick.
You know, we were bored.
Arthur found out. Arthur got angry.
Arthur told my foster parents, and they kicked me out.
I came here because I thought my real mom was here,
but she ain't.
Well, sucks to be me, I guess.
Hey, Madison, the more you repeat that expression,
the realer you make it.
Great. Can't even hate my life properly. Fucking
-sucks to be me, I guess. -Sucks to be you, I guess.
What's happened to you
isn'twhat's happening to you.
Okay.
You can do this, Madison. You can raise this child.
And Sue and I would be honored to help you.
You mean it?
I do.
And you'll think about getting a quad bike?
Sure, and, Madison, I can tell
you were thinking about quad bikes
during our entire conversation,
and I appreciate you holding it inside until the end.
-[footsteps approaching] -MAN: Hey. You Dirk?
-Yeah. -I'm Yohan.
Why are you doing laundry duty?
Exactly. I have no idea.
Come on. We're on the front gate.
Guess you weren't meant to be on laundry after all.
Guess not.
Dirk, come on. We're late. Let's go.
Can't believe I'm gonna be a grandfather.
-Operation Mosquito... -Oh, hold on.
-I'm not recording. -Well, start recording.
Are you gonna say "action"?
No, just hit the fucking button.
Okay, fine, fine. And quiet, please.
And... action!
Operation Mosquito Coil...
-Uh, we never cleared that name. -Oh, I'll-I'll do it after.
If you haven't cleared the name prior to the operation,
there's really no point in having one afterwards.
Uh, okay, well, Magnolia's in position,
so, um, Operation Untitled Cullen Project is a go.
Get it done, Cullen.
So, you got Madison?
Yeah, that's right. Uh, older than I'd imagined,
but, uh, she seems great, actually.
Yeah.
I had her for a few weeks.
-Really? -Didn't work out.
She's, uh...
What?
Just don't take your eyes off of her ever.
And when she's sleeping, make sure she's actually asleep.
Let's go.
[static]
MAGNOLIA: I'm approaching the front entrance.
Place looks great.
Hey, they put up some new aluminum siding,
replaced the gutters.
Looks really sharp.
-Copy that. Ooh! -[feedback squeals]
He can't hear us. You're not talking to anyone.
Jeff, what the fuck are you...?
Shh. Relax. I... I go by Jeffrey now.
Jeff, we're not letting you back in.
How many times do we have to tell you?
-"Jeff"? -MAGNOLIA: Look at this wire.
It's FBI. They sent me in here to get info.
Look. They paid me 80 bucks.
FULLER: What did he just say?
Fuck.
Hey, here you go. I'm pretty sure I turned it off.
Yeah, I missed you, buddy. What's good, Big Y?
-Hey, who's the new guy? -Hi. I'm Dirk.
You replaced me already?
Look, just let me talk to Terry, please.
I mean, the Collective is my life.
You got to let me back in.
Please let me talk to Terry.
I don't know, Jeff.
You brought sugar into Collective.
Terry was very not happy.
MAGNOLIA: I'm done with the sugar, Yohan.
I-I'm off it, I'm telling you.
I-I need to see Terry. I have intel.
I just want to get back in.
The Collective is my life.
Please, please, please let me back in.
Uh, please?
Man, what an idiot.
I mean, we already got you on tape. What a dipshit.
We're gonna have to delete that.
What? No, it's a great recording. What's up your butt?
He made us look like fools?
Uh, not me. I knew he wasn't Pete's brother.
-Oh, really? -Yeah, I googled it.
Pete's brother's name is Gus.
They are very close. It's really sweet.
What the fuck?! Why didn't you tell me that?!
I thought that we were both knowingly playing along.
TOLBECK: Yeah, Cullen, I thought you knew, too.
-Tolbeck?! -Sorry. Is now a good time?
No, now is not a good time.
So, wait. You knew, too, patient phone guy?
Yeah.
I'm Tolbeck, by the way, Cullen's ex-partner.
Oh, hey! Uh, Risoli, current partner.
Ugh, is he always this tense?
-Oh, fuck, I can't. I... -Yeah, that's Cullen.
Do you think he comes across like he has ADHD?
Yeah, but like an angry version.
Yeah, I thought so. Thanks.
Yeah, no problem.
So, is there a... Mrs. Patient Phone Guy?
["Loved So Little" by Matt Berninger playing]
♪ Time to rip out the phone♪
♪ Why are people still calling?♪
♪ Don't they know that we're never gonna buy♪
♪ Another batshit story of bad kids in the garden♪
♪ Better bring your fear of flying♪
♪ And your lizard boy brain♪
♪ To the top of the stairs♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to have to come down again♪
♪ And find you lighting up♪
♪ It's only God or the devil when you're in it♪
♪ And I'm all...♪
MAN: Guh-doosh.
[whip cracking]
[drums beating, tribal grunt]