1
00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:02,901
And I was like, "I don't wanna
have sex with you though.

2
00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:04,203
-We're gonna need to wait."
because I need to make sure
-yeah.

3
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,071
That this is, like, real.

4
00:00:06,123 --> 00:00:08,440
And we ain't just
lusting for each other."

5
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,792
-yeah.
-Because I was like,

6
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,577
maybe it's like
we need to make sure

7
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,078
-we really like each other.
-Mmm-hmm.

8
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,363
Or that what I'm feeling
is a real feeling.

9
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,466
And so we did.

10
00:00:17,501 --> 00:00:19,134
-We just started dating...
-And I'm like, "yeah."

11
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:20,386
...And talking every day,

12
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,087
-and spending time together.
-That didn't really make

13
00:00:22,139 --> 00:00:23,705
a whole lot of sense
to me either because I'm like,

14
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,307
"you ain't got to...
Like, what you...

15
00:00:25,342 --> 00:00:26,308
What are we waiting for?"

16
00:00:26,343 --> 00:00:27,643
he was like<i> love jones,</i>

17
00:00:27,678 --> 00:00:29,094
"you ain't got to hold mine.
You ain't...

18
00:00:29,146 --> 00:00:30,262
I'll take mine now."
I'm like,

19
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:31,764
"uh-uh, we can't do...
We can't do it."

20
00:00:31,816 --> 00:00:33,816
I wanna make sure it's real

21
00:00:33,851 --> 00:00:35,100
-and so...
-Yeah.

22
00:00:35,152 --> 00:00:36,435
[woman] did you wait
as far as dating

23
00:00:36,487 --> 00:00:37,653
or did you wait
until you got married?

24
00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:39,071
Oh, no girl, we wait... We...

25
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:40,555
Choyce was the flower girl,
honey, in the wedding.

26
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,057
You know, we didn't wait
until we got married.

27
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:42,991
-Oh, no.
-Man.

28
00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:43,942
[camera shutter clicking]

29
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,914
being willing to let go

30
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,398
of a relationship.

31
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,117
Before, I felt like
I was really ready

32
00:00:52,169 --> 00:00:53,568
but because it was happening,

33
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,587
I went into a mode
of radical acceptance.

34
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:58,424
I'm going to accept the end
of this relationship

35
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,260
and believe it's opening
the door to something bigger.

36
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:04,263
-Mmm-hmm.
-And a lot of people,

37
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,015
in-including me,
I hadn't done that in the past

38
00:01:07,051 --> 00:01:08,267
and I would go through
breakups

39
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,968
and I would suffer
through them.

40
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,137
Always be sad,
I'll be crying, I'll be upset.

41
00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:14,356
Well, if you really believe
it's gonna lead to something

42
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:16,608
bigger and better,
would you be crying?

43
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,811
Would you be upset or
would you be happy about it?

44
00:01:18,863 --> 00:01:21,280
So I accepted it
and I went into this mode,

45
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,949
this is going to lead me
to meet my husband.

46
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,033
[camera shutter clicking]

47
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,271
both my parents were together
for a really long time,

48
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,989
it was this very
loving relationship

49
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:32,658
that I grew up seeing.
And then, like,

50
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:34,493
out of the blue
they got divorced.

51
00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:36,295
So I was a little bit jaded in
that way where I was like...

52
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,379
What do you mean a little bit?

53
00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:38,831
..."oh, I'm not ever
getting married then."

54
00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:39,998
because if they didn't make it

55
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,467
after what I grew up with,

56
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,968
but get... Nobody can make it.

57
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,003
-This is what she told me...
-So... Yeah.

58
00:01:45,055 --> 00:01:46,171
-I don't...
-So, this is where I was.

59
00:01:46,223 --> 00:01:48,006
I don't believe in marriage,

60
00:01:48,058 --> 00:01:49,842
I don't believe in monogamy,

61
00:01:49,894 --> 00:01:51,393
and I don't wanna have kids.

62
00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:53,128
-Yeah. That's what I said.
-Th-the first evening...

63
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,480
At swingers in our booth.

64
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,398
...We were talking
and I was just like,

65
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,650
"oh, all right."

66
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,018
just so you know.

67
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:01,636
It's the first date,
but okay.

68
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,571
[camera shutter clicking]

69
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,992
[dramatic music playing]

70
00:02:35,806 --> 00:02:37,672
my mom went to
the rec center every Thursday.

71
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,840
Yeah. Yeah.

72
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,108
And she was part of this

73
00:02:40,144 --> 00:02:41,527
weight loss group called tops.

74
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:44,512
So every Thursday
I was there with my mom

75
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,281
and he would be there
sometimes, like, playing

76
00:02:46,317 --> 00:02:48,350
because it's a rec center,
basketball, or whatever.

77
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,369
And this one particular day,

78
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,538
I think I probably already
thought he was cute,

79
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,040
but nobody thought
I was cute then.

80
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,793
And I don't remember
what I said,

81
00:02:57,828 --> 00:02:59,878
-but it made him mad.
-No.

82
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:02,047
And then...
Wait, why you said no?

83
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,967
-You hit me.
-No, you hit me.

84
00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:06,251
But you... I probably hit you,

85
00:03:06,303 --> 00:03:08,136
because you said
something slick.

86
00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,871
-Nah. Nah.
-[laughs]

87
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,723
anyway, I took off running
because I knew he was coming

88
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,875
to get me, but I got cute

89
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,594
in, like,
seventh and eighth grade,

90
00:03:15,646 --> 00:03:17,930
caught that eye.
[laughs] did that.

91
00:03:17,982 --> 00:03:20,983
[laughter]

92
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,885
so yeah.
And I was always, like,

93
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,387
-giving him the looks
and stuff.
-Flirt... Flirting.

94
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,055
-I was. It was...
-Yeah. Yeah.

95
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,391
My eye game... These big eyes,
they was cold though.

96
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,993
I was like [laughs]

97
00:03:31,028 --> 00:03:33,829
you know, and you got it.

98
00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:35,247
You caught it. He...

99
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:36,415
That's when we started dating.

100
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,899
That's when we started dating.

101
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,835
Eighth grade was
the first time we ever dated.

102
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:41,236
When we tell people
we've known each other

103
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,238
since high school,
it's, "oh, my god,

104
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,007
you guys are falling in love
when you were 14.

105
00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:46,408
This is beautiful
and whatnot."

106
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,343
we're like,
"no, we were not that.

107
00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:49,595
We were, like,
just good friends

108
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,346
<i> in a group of friends."</i>

109
00:03:51,382 --> 00:03:53,432
<i> like, I used to give her</i>
<i> advice on her boyfriends</i>

110
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,749
and her on my girlfriends.

111
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,184
Like, that's just
what it was,

112
00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:58,303
but going into

113
00:03:58,355 --> 00:04:01,940
my last year
playing at oregon,

114
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,609
I had... I remember having
a conversation

115
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,644
with our good friends.

116
00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:07,779
Just talking, like,
"why has...

117
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,264
Why haven't any of us

118
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,283
tried to at least talk
to blair?

119
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,652
Or why haven't I at least
tried to talk to her?"

120
00:04:13,704 --> 00:04:15,787
and I go, "she's cute,
she's chill."

121
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:16,955
-[indistinct]
-like we know...

122
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,040
We know all the same people,

123
00:04:18,075 --> 00:04:19,207
our families like each other,

124
00:04:19,243 --> 00:04:20,792
like, let me see if, like...

125
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,461
Let me just start texting her
a little bit more,

126
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,630
like, we used to text randomly
here and there, but...

127
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,381
Yeah, but then it became
every single day.

128
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:28,133
Like bigger topics. Like,

129
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,835
-"hey, did you see
that game or whatever?"
-all day.

130
00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:32,454
"did you go to class today?"
yup.

131
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,555
She responded though.

132
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,340
-[chuckles]
-she was like...

133
00:04:35,392 --> 00:04:36,341
But I knew
what you were doing.

134
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:38,010
Yeah. But she responded.

135
00:04:38,062 --> 00:04:41,296
I was doing a play and...
In los angeles.

136
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,982
And he was stage manager
in the play.

137
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:46,151
So everyone's yelling,

138
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,803
people are,
"ron, we need her."

139
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,472
and he was just like,
"mmm-hmm."

140
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,158
and I just liked the way
his demeanor was so calm

141
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,911
in answering questions.
And I would just make fun,

142
00:04:55,946 --> 00:04:58,030
like, he put on my mic
and I was,

143
00:04:58,082 --> 00:05:00,365
"oh, you touched my booty.
Don't touch my booty."

144
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:02,484
-you know what I'm saying?
-She actually said that.

145
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,669
And he's going,
"oh, god. I..."

146
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,370
you know, he's freaking out

147
00:05:05,422 --> 00:05:06,872
thinking he's gonna
get in trouble, but he...

148
00:05:06,924 --> 00:05:07,873
-I was trying...
-...He's like...

149
00:05:07,925 --> 00:05:08,924
I tried to remain professional
and she was...

150
00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,258
He was very professional,

151
00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:12,160
but I would just
mess with him.

152
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,328
Because I started flirting
with him

153
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,380
but he never got it, ever.

154
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:17,832
After everyone took
their photos with me,

155
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,185
he is talking
to some other girls.

156
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,003
I'm like, "hello?

157
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,723
-My turn, take my picture."
-you have to mention this
every time.

158
00:05:24,775 --> 00:05:26,007
-And... You... Okay.
-But you were.

159
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,392
And the girls even said,

160
00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:29,111
"I think ledisi's
waiting for you."

161
00:05:29,146 --> 00:05:30,445
-and sure enough...
-Yeah.

162
00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:32,731
-...He comes over.
-We take a photo.

163
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:33,848
And I get all...
You know,

164
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,517
I'm all over him and stuff.

165
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,070
And I'm like, "finally
taking a picture with me."

166
00:05:38,122 --> 00:05:39,738
-and I took a photo with him.
-[ron] mmm-hmm.

167
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:42,857
<i> And that was the...</i>
<i> That's how we met.</i>

168
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,859
So I interned
with his fraternity brother.

169
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,212
And when we were getting ready
to start for full-time,

170
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,463
he was like, "I'm not coming,

171
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:50,048
but my frat brother
is starting.

172
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,134
Make sure you look out
for him."

173
00:05:52,169 --> 00:05:55,220
so there were only about four
black people in the program.

174
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,221
-And...
-A 50.

175
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,723
Yeah, a 50.

176
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,425
And he was one of,
like, two black males.

177
00:06:00,477 --> 00:06:03,729
And I was like,
"I'm gonna assume it's you."

178
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,380
[woman]
was there like a spark?

179
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,032
There was no spark.

180
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,767
Oh, wait, wait, wait,

181
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,436
oh, so, your wallet
won't touch me.

182
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,105
[laughter]

183
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,373
-I'm...
-There was no spark.

184
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,941
That was not...
Okay. Let me tell it

185
00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:17,376
because now [indistinct]
wallet.

186
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,660
Because he had a girlfriend.

187
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:19,911
-Okay. Okay.
-Right.

188
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,663
He had a girl...
So, there was no spark.

189
00:06:21,698 --> 00:06:23,915
I did not have a spark
for someone else's man.

190
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,070
I, on the other hand, I still
have eyes, so I'm open

191
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,590
enough to be honest, it was...
She was attractive.

192
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,958
You know what I mean?

193
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:37,745
I was director of pr
for def jam records.

194
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,965
I was in charge
of a lot of the new acts.

195
00:06:40,017 --> 00:06:42,184
So, I had ludacris,
I had ashanti,

196
00:06:42,219 --> 00:06:44,136
musiq soulchild.

197
00:06:44,188 --> 00:06:47,472
But for ludacris,
his manager, chaka was like,

198
00:06:47,524 --> 00:06:50,758
"listen, you know,
chris loves the lakers."

199
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,527
so I said, "okay, great.
I'll call joe hardy."

200
00:06:52,563 --> 00:06:54,196
I called joe hardy
because he says,

201
00:06:54,231 --> 00:06:56,198
he knows all the athletes...
All the athletes

202
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,532
and he works with players.

203
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,618
Someone told her
that, I'm assuming.

204
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:00,869
-So, anyway...
-So when I see him,

205
00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:02,154
-I kid you not...
-That's when we met.

206
00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:03,605
Cue music.
I turned around.

207
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,956
He's like, "hey,
are you kita williams?"

208
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,242
I turned around. I'm like,

209
00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:10,829
"hey, yes, I am."

210
00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,164
and you know, for that moment,

211
00:07:12,216 --> 00:07:13,799
the first time
you lay your eyes...

212
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,634
I literally, it was
the first time I laid my eyes

213
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,503
on this man and I thought
to myself, "oh, my god."

214
00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:19,888
I'm glad she's admitting this
because...

215
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,623
I mean, I would never
tell him that.

216
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,391
-You know what I'm saying?
-Yeah. I don't know

217
00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:25,227
where this is written down,
but I would like a copy of it.

218
00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:26,311
[laughter]

219
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,512
and I did think to myself

220
00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:29,231
like, "damn, he's fine."

221
00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:32,017
cut to...
He went on about his business.

222
00:07:32,069 --> 00:07:33,635
We did this video shoot.
Afterwards, he came back

223
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,403
to say, "thank you.
It was a great time."

224
00:07:35,439 --> 00:07:37,138
I was like, "great." he's
like, "let's keep in touch.

225
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,690
If you ever need anything,
you know,

226
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,742
whether it's one of your
artists here or other ones,

227
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:43,662
I'm available." I was like,
"okay, great.

228
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,413
Availability is great."

229
00:07:45,449 --> 00:07:47,866
-and then summertime came...
-Mmm-hmm.

230
00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:49,501
-...And my sister was like,
-"oh girl,

231
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,535
you about to go
to high school."

232
00:07:50,587 --> 00:07:52,170
my sister is six years older.

233
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,338
And she was like,
"you don't want a boyfriend

234
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,339
when you go to high school

235
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,007
because there's a lot
of boys over there."

236
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:59,044
and so I told chance, I said,
"listen, my sister said,

237
00:07:59,096 --> 00:08:00,679
there's a whole bunch
of boys, you know,

238
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,347
over in high school.
I got to see what's out there.

239
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,267
-So we got to break up."
-the whole year, a great year.

240
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:09,003
Hey, me and her on the phone
all hours of the night.

241
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,190
We're sharing our dreams

242
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:14,693
and then on the phone,

243
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,613
-"hey, it's over."
-I explained why though.

244
00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:20,365
"because my sister said..."

245
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,183
-I told the truth.
-Yeah. You told the truth.

246
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,685
But then, she always thinks
she's gonna get credit

247
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,903
because she get to go back to,

248
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:26,071
"at least,
I told you the truth."

249
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,455
but that's what happened.

250
00:08:27,491 --> 00:08:29,291
-And so then we broke up.
-Dumped.

251
00:08:29,326 --> 00:08:31,710
I started to, like,
like her as a person.

252
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,027
The more that we got to, like,

253
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,797
really, really start
to dive deep.

254
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,382
We were like talking
about everything.

255
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,633
We're talking about
her dating life.

256
00:08:38,669 --> 00:08:39,718
It was just like,
this is my home girl.

257
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,520
-Religion.
-Like, a home,

258
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,054
how you wanna raise your kids?

259
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,890
Like, where you came from?

260
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,591
Like, it was...It was dope

261
00:08:46,643 --> 00:08:49,394
to just have that experience
of building a friendship.

262
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,812
-Yeah.
-But, you know,

263
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,097
it's hard to mess up,
but I was just...

264
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,465
It was...It was...

265
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,067
I was definitely physically
attracted.

266
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:59,137
So we're doing this
every day,

267
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,306
going out,
hanging out with each other.

268
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,109
And one day, I was getting
ready to go home

269
00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:05,777
and he's like,
"I'm meeting a friend,

270
00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:07,329
but I need to kill some time,
have a drink with me."

271
00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:09,114
and I'm like, "okay."
and I, kind of,

272
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:10,665
felt the energy change,

273
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,450
but I was like, "shireen,
he has a girlfriend.

274
00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:13,952
He's happy.
They live together.

275
00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:17,756
Like, not everyone
is that into you. Relax."

276
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,292
so he starts...
And he was like,

277
00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:21,626
"I just want you to know,

278
00:09:21,678 --> 00:09:23,178
like, I enjoy
hanging out with you.

279
00:09:23,213 --> 00:09:27,632
And I wanna tell you
that I like you."

280
00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:30,635
and she responds...
I'll take over here.

281
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:34,639
"what am I supposed to do
with that information?"

282
00:09:34,691 --> 00:09:36,641
-I...
-And just...And just stopped.

283
00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:39,477
I was like, okay.
I played this over my head
a lot of times.

284
00:09:39,529 --> 00:09:41,146
And that... It was not
at all the way

285
00:09:41,198 --> 00:09:42,930
that it was supposed to go.

286
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,266
I don't know. I think maybe
I'm in love with you.

287
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,702
And if it don't sound
completely crazy to you,

288
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:49,871
call me tomorrow
at this number.

289
00:09:49,906 --> 00:09:52,791
And he said nothing
on the phone, right?

290
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,275
-Crickets. Nothing.
-What do you...

291
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,610
-What do you say
to somebody...
-Right?

292
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,995
-And I get it. I get it.
-...At 4:00...

293
00:09:57,047 --> 00:09:59,331
...At 4:00 in the morning?

294
00:10:01,151 --> 00:10:02,784
-He didn't think I liked him
after the first date.
-Yeah.

295
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,069
She didn't give me...
See in la,

296
00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,738
I'm used to getting
the hair toss,

297
00:10:06,757 --> 00:10:08,006
a little, you know,
wink at the side...

298
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,591
He said,
I didn't flirt with him.

299
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,409
I didn't get any flirt back,
you know.

300
00:10:11,428 --> 00:10:14,579
Not that I was, like,
trying to mack either, but...

301
00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:16,264
It was the first meeting.
It was lunch.

302
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,183
I wanted to enjoy
my turkey club

303
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,968
and have a good conversation.

304
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,936
He was like,
"she didn't flirt with me,

305
00:10:21,972 --> 00:10:23,271
so I don't know
if she really likes me."

306
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:24,773
but I'm not like that.
I don't...

307
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:27,025
I wouldn't meet someone
and go out to lunch

308
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,779
and just be, you know,
looking all thirsty.

309
00:10:30,814 --> 00:10:32,647
Well, you know, we did
talk for like two hours.

310
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,982
-Yeah. Yeah.
-So,

311
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,283
that should have been
my indication,

312
00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:36,934
but I was like,
"I'm not really sure."

313
00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:38,536
-yeah.
-"let me make sure."

314
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,989
I remember being upstairs
in my room,

315
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,875
looking down at the pool area
at the mondrian.

316
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,211
And I was like, "oh,

317
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,663
it's about to be popping
down here tonight."

318
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,448
and so I'm like,
"yo, what's going on?"

319
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:52,550
"oh, beyonce is having
an album release party."

320
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,636
I'm like, "okay, cool."
got the whole crew,

321
00:10:54,671 --> 00:10:57,839
my brother, friends,
everybody

322
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,957
and we just bum-rush
the party.

323
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:04,896
And I just see an angel
just invade my space

324
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,632
-with a hellfire cigarette...
-[laughs]

325
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:09,851
...Hanging out of her mouth.

326
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,136
And literally

327
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:14,656
from the spark of that flame,

328
00:11:14,691 --> 00:11:16,358
-it really ignited...
-It was.

329
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:17,659
-It was our own little spark.
-...Our relationship.

330
00:11:17,694 --> 00:11:19,244
-Yeah. Yeah. It was.
-It was great.

331
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,912
We sat there
and talked for...

332
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,330
-Oh.
-It's like

333
00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:24,148
the whole party disappeared,
really.

334
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,650
And we were just
in this one corner

335
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:27,252
talking to each other.

336
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,838
One of the main things that,
kind of,

337
00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:32,257
made me proceed
at talking to him

338
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,542
was I asked him
what he did for a living.

339
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,878
And he said,
"oh, I work in denver."

340
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,179
-and that's all he said to me.
-Mmm-hmm.

341
00:11:38,215 --> 00:11:39,714
He didn't say I play football.

342
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:40,932
He didn't say I'm an athlete.

343
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,434
He didn't say any of that.

344
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,053
And I was like, "okay.
I, kind of, like that

345
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,522
you're probably an athlete
and you didn't say that to me.

346
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:50,842
That's already a step
in the right direction."

347
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:52,727
something keeps pulling me

348
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,779
to call him or text
or something.

349
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,614
And... But I didn't
have his number

350
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:57,782
and I was scared
to ask the director,

351
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,284
because I didn't want...

352
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,352
I don't go after men,
they go after me.

353
00:12:01,371 --> 00:12:03,521
You know what I mean?
So I was like,

354
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,357
"why is this happening
where I feel compelled?"

355
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,910
and he posts a picture
on twitter of us,

356
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,628
that same picture.

357
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,630
So I was like, "oh, my god,

358
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,132
he posted a picture of us."

359
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,201
-mmm-hmm. Yeah.
-You know, so I dmed him.

360
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:18,887
I don't do this.

361
00:12:18,922 --> 00:12:21,423
I said, "ron, I don't...
I have a crush on you.

362
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,892
I don't know how long
it'll last or what this is,

363
00:12:23,927 --> 00:12:26,895
but I just felt
I needed you to know."

364
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:29,981
"so can I text you
or give you a call?"

365
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,100
and we, kind of,
talk about it.

366
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:37,054
And then, ron did not
respond for days.

367
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:39,324
I thought I was being played
or something.

368
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,409
-[laughs]
-like, I'm from philly,

369
00:12:41,445 --> 00:12:43,745
so everything is
a set up to me.

370
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,947
[laughter]

371
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,231
so I didn't believe it.

372
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,584
I thought it was the director,

373
00:12:49,619 --> 00:12:51,119
like, making a...

374
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,621
You know, somebody
got into the account or say,

375
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,925
"hey, send this to him
just to play around." so...

376
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,511
Because I was freaking out
doing that. I don't do that.

377
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:00,745
-And then, finally...
-And there I am

378
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:01,963
at the white house singing,

379
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,765
waiting for him to respond.

380
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,350
Then finally I said,

381
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,435
"okay, I'm gonna respond

382
00:13:07,471 --> 00:13:10,588
and see if this is a joke
or whatever."

383
00:13:10,607 --> 00:13:12,256
-and then, I responded to you.
-You did.

384
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:14,359
I said, "great.
Let's go out on a date,

385
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,760
-you know, do something."
-then... Yeah.

386
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:17,362
And then,
we did our first date.

387
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,615
We did our first date
but you canceled it.

388
00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:24,202
A little bit of time passed,
we started somewhat being,

389
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,954
you know,
a little bit more normal,

390
00:13:25,989 --> 00:13:27,372
but she still
was not giving me

391
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,457
any of the vibes whatsoever.

392
00:13:29,493 --> 00:13:31,793
We... Me and my girlfriend

393
00:13:31,828 --> 00:13:33,495
ended up starting
to go through it.

394
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:34,829
So she packed her stuff up
and I was...

395
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,498
I endorsed it.
It was a break.

396
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,199
We called it a break.
We're gonna figure things out.

397
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,301
Just give us some time to,
you know, think about it.

398
00:13:40,337 --> 00:13:41,836
So she packed up and moved.

399
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,622
Monday morning,
I came to work,

400
00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:46,674
I said,

401
00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,393
"your boy ain't
got no girlfriend,

402
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,978
no more, what's up?

403
00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,013
Now, it's time to shoot.
Now, you got to shoot."

404
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,882
wh-while they were going
through it...

405
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,683
-No. No, no, no.
-...He was using me
as his therapist.

406
00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:59,187
When she said she wanted out,
there you go.

407
00:13:59,222 --> 00:14:02,991
But she made me beg her
to go on a date, like,

408
00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:05,493
I had to ask her
consistently, bro.

409
00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,495
I don't ever
wanna be that dude.

410
00:14:07,531 --> 00:14:10,131
I was that dude.
I was like, "we go on a date?

411
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,399
-We go on a date?"
-so I obliged.

412
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,700
-"what are you doing Friday?"
-oh. Oh.

413
00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:14,736
I was like,
"you know what, shireen,"

414
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,739
and at that point I had
gotten into graduate school.

415
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,340
So I knew
I was leaving new york.

416
00:14:19,376 --> 00:14:21,009
And I'm like, "girl,
you're only here

417
00:14:21,044 --> 00:14:23,044
for a few more months, like,
go on a date with him.

418
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,930
If it goes to hell
at least you're just...

419
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,516
You're out of here, like,
you have an escape plan."

420
00:14:28,552 --> 00:14:30,935
so I was like,
"okay, let's go on a date."

421
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,688
I ended up going to college
in miami

422
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,940
and chance was in college
in north carolina.

423
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,509
And one night I woke up,
like, 1:00 in the morning,

424
00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:39,944
middle of the night
and he was the only person

425
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,362
I could think about.

426
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:42,730
And I started thinking like,
"oh, my god.

427
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,532
All these years, I
will see him

428
00:14:44,568 --> 00:14:46,284
and I get this pain
in my stomach and...

429
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,869
Oh, my god.

430
00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:49,237
I always had this feeling,

431
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,955
like, maybe I'm in love
with him.

432
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,540
Maybe I love him, like,
I don't even know,

433
00:14:52,576 --> 00:14:54,191
like, why am I thinking
about him?" right?

434
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:56,127
I... Hey, I always tell her,
"that's guilt."

435
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,695
-no.
-That's what guilt
does to you.

436
00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:59,464
Listen, he had girlfriends,
I had boyfriends

437
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,716
all through high school.
Like, it was never...

438
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,084
It was over, you know,

439
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,803
but this thing woke me up
out of my sleep.

440
00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:08,139
And I called,
kept ringing the dorm

441
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,591
and his roommate answered.

442
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:10,808
I was like,
"it's an emergency.

443
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,710
I need to speak
to chance brown."

444
00:15:12,729 --> 00:15:15,597
and he gets on the phone
and I was like, "okay.

445
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:19,267
I know this sounds crazy,
but, you know, this is tabitha

446
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,319
and I just need
to tell you something."

447
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,887
so I started telling him,
I was like, "you know,

448
00:15:22,906 --> 00:15:24,388
every time I would see you
over the years,

449
00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:26,157
I would have
this feeling and...

450
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,725
Pain in my stomach
and I don't know,

451
00:15:27,744 --> 00:15:29,243
I just woke up
in the middle of the night,

452
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:31,162
you're the only person
I could think about.

453
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,164
And I don't know... I think
maybe I'm in love with you.

454
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,566
And if it don't sound
completely crazy to you

455
00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:37,735
call me tomorrow
at this number."

456
00:15:37,754 --> 00:15:40,505
and he said nothing
on the phone, right?

457
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,906
-Crickets. Nothing.
-What do you...

458
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:43,240
-What do you say
to somebody...
-Right?

459
00:15:43,259 --> 00:15:44,626
-And I get it. I get it.
-...At 4:00...

460
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,178
...At 4:00 in the morning?

461
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,097
When somebody call you
in the middle of the night

462
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:51,799
like this and confess
their love for you

463
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:55,019
at 18, 19 years of age,

464
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,587
that's a lot to deal with.

465
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,189
-But he called.
-Hey, I called.

466
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,357
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I called.

467
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,424
And, you know, I...

468
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:01,926
And then we talked...

469
00:16:01,945 --> 00:16:03,427
-Yeah.
-...A couple of times

470
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:04,762
and we were... We're gonna
see each other

471
00:16:04,781 --> 00:16:06,531
when we go home for break.

472
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,150
And then, we got home,
it was homecoming.

473
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,619
We spent some time together,
homecoming.

474
00:16:11,655 --> 00:16:13,538
And I didn't feel it.

475
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,540
Hey... It... Ye-yeah.

476
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,991
Yeah. You see this?

477
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,126
You didn't feel it either.

478
00:16:18,161 --> 00:16:20,277
-Man.
-We didn't feel it.

479
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:23,047
We were like
maybe it was just a...

480
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,782
-No.
-...A thing. I don't know.

481
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,450
She just felt like
she could just keep...

482
00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:28,636
-No. He...
-...Running in and out
of my life.

483
00:16:28,672 --> 00:16:30,888
And he still had somebody
he was dealing with.

484
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,807
It just wasn't right,
it didn't feel right.

485
00:16:32,842 --> 00:16:34,976
So I was like,
"nah, I'm cool."

486
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:37,145
so he comes over again
with the same line.

487
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,629
"let's keep...
Hey, how are you?

488
00:16:38,648 --> 00:16:39,897
-Let's keep in touch."
-I didn't.

489
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,465
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You did.

490
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:43,634
"hey, let's meet up later."
I was like,

491
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:45,570
"hmm. No, dude. No.
That's the same line.

492
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,355
I'm not going for it.
I don't care how fine

493
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,358
you think you are, but I'm not
taking the medicine."

494
00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:53,411
he called me two hours
after that lunch.

495
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:54,762
So when I saw it was him,
I was like,

496
00:16:54,798 --> 00:16:56,631
"oh, he must've
forgotten something."

497
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,633
but no, he was just calling
to follow-up

498
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,636
and put the ball in my court
as you would say.

499
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,605
And then I contacted him
about a week later,

500
00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:07,275
so it took a week
and he thought, again...

501
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,860
I was like,
"oh. Oh, well."

502
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,428
...He wasn't gonna
hear from me,

503
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,196
but I did contact him
a week later.

504
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,364
[man] why did
it take you a week?

505
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,866
I was thinking.

506
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,485
I... You know, it's...

507
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:23,441
I knew if I contacted him
after that week

508
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,793
that we were going
to see each other again.

509
00:17:25,829 --> 00:17:27,795
And it was going to be
the start of something,

510
00:17:27,831 --> 00:17:31,049
and in my mind... I'd had
this conversation with god.

511
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,633
I only wanna date my husband.

512
00:17:32,669 --> 00:17:35,803
I dated enough to know
what I didn't want.

513
00:17:35,839 --> 00:17:39,457
And I also was very clear

514
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:43,678
about the qualities

515
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:48,015
that I knew
I wanted my husband to have.

516
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,301
When he said
he was gonna call, he called.

517
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,636
When he said he was gonna
pick me up at a certain time,

518
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,306
he picked me up at that time.
That reliability,

519
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,076
all of those things
that you want, he brought it.

520
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,827
That's when I knew.

521
00:17:59,863 --> 00:18:03,164
So I was thinking,
don't mess this up [chuckles]

522
00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:05,700
because this is going really
well for you right now.

523
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,335
We were actually playing

524
00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,653
cal berkeley
a few weeks later.

525
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,156
And this was back when coaches
will let you stay the weekend,

526
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,208
wherever you're playing,
as long as you're back
by Monday.

527
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:17,178
So she came to the game
with a couple of other friends

528
00:18:17,213 --> 00:18:20,348
and that night,
I stayed at her place.

529
00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,851
That next morning, we woke up

530
00:18:23,887 --> 00:18:27,271
and we, like, woke up
in a cuddle.

531
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,673
Like, it was...It was...
Nobody else...

532
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,509
Like, her roommate
wasn't there,

533
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,843
we're laying in her bed.

534
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,395
My face is like on her cheek.

535
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,280
I'm like,
"oh, this is great."

536
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,350
-[laughs]
-and we knew it was weird,

537
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,953
but neither one of us
wanted to,

538
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,871
I guess, step away
from that moment.

539
00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:46,374
When it was time to go,
I remember we hugged

540
00:18:46,409 --> 00:18:48,192
and, kind of,
looked at each other, like,

541
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,912
is this where
a kiss happens or not?

542
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,030
And I was like...
In my head I'm like,

543
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,583
"this isn't the time to kiss."
like...

544
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,885
But we didn't... Still didn't
have that conversation.

545
00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:59,303
There was still no,
"what are we?"

546
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,638
nothing like that.

547
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,390
So I called and said,

548
00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:04,592
"ron, why are you canceling?
What happened?"

549
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,561
-and he said...
-I said,

550
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,095
"I didn't have enough money."

551
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,549
-[giggles]
-and I had money,

552
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:12,984
but I didn't have enough

553
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,902
for what I had in my head

554
00:19:14,938 --> 00:19:17,155
-of planning...
-For me.

555
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,240
-...The date.
-Yeah.

556
00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:20,724
-But...
-Because he explained it all

557
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,560
-and the reason why...
-Yeah. And she said,

558
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,111
-"I don't care about all that.
-...That he canceled.
I said, "I don't care.

559
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,563
Even if we just get coffee

560
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,415
and sit and talk
to each other.

561
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:29,417
-I just wanna see your face...
-Yeah.

562
00:19:29,452 --> 00:19:30,835
...Instead of this telephone

563
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,503
and get to know you more."

564
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,423
once she said,
"I don't care about that."

565
00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:39,076
I turned off the switch
and then, I got into...

566
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,929
I'm not even gonna lie.
I went back into philly mode.

567
00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:44,465
And there it was like,
you can do

568
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,467
a walk down the street,
get...

569
00:19:46,502 --> 00:19:48,186
Have a hot pretzel
or something,

570
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,137
and just engage with someone.

571
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,273
<i> Actually,</i>
<i> our first date was more</i>

572
00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:55,142
<i> of, like,</i>
<i> we were already dating.</i>

573
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,195
So we met one time
at the video shoot.

574
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,763
Two years later, we
met again at a jamie foxx,

575
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,649
jennifer hudson, when they
were nominated for the oscars,

576
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,950
they had a party.
I went there.

577
00:20:02,986 --> 00:20:04,318
I was no longer at def jam.

578
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,487
He then said,
"let's meet for lunch."

579
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,373
never met,
two more years later,
happened again.

580
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,459
So now this is another
two more years

581
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:13,494
and I see him
at a basketball game.

582
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,463
I had lost my aunt when I see
him at a basketball game.

583
00:20:15,498 --> 00:20:17,715
He waves from afar, I'm like,
"oh, that's the guy

584
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,634
that always says we're
gonna do something later.

585
00:20:19,669 --> 00:20:22,386
Whatever, that... I ain't
even trying to hear you."

586
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,505
so he comes over again
with the same line.

587
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,840
"let's keep...
Hey, how are you?"

588
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,141
-I didn't.
-"let's keep in touch.

589
00:20:27,176 --> 00:20:28,843
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
you did.

590
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,012
"hey, let's meet up later."
I was like,

591
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,130
"hmm. No, dude. No.
That's the same line.

592
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,632
I'm not going for it.
I don't care how fine

593
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,983
you think you are,

594
00:20:36,019 --> 00:20:37,635
but I'm not taking
the medicine."

595
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,320
everything happened
when it was supposed to.

596
00:20:39,355 --> 00:20:41,188
So long story short
after we met the third time,

597
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,690
some time had passed...

598
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,909
Seven months
to be exact passed.

599
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,827
-I'm glad she knew all this.
-Mmm-hmm.

600
00:20:46,863 --> 00:20:49,313
-Because you can see the text
on your phone.
-Yeah. So, yeah.

601
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,650
And I called her
and I called her by mistake.

602
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,919
Some [...].

603
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,420
-I mean...
-That's funny?

604
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,005
-That's funny to you?
-You know what,

605
00:20:58,041 --> 00:20:59,590
they say everything happens
for a reason, right?

606
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,042
They do. They say
everything happens for...

607
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,710
-It does.
-But I did. I called her...

608
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,928
-There was a reason. Yes.
-I called her by mistake.

609
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,429
We started talking
and I was like,

610
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,431
"wow, this is random."
didn't know that

611
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,050
he probably was like,
"yeah, it is random."

612
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,669
and he's like, "so, yeah."

613
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,220
he just kind of paused.
And I was like,

614
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,505
"oh, he's so happy
to talk to me."

615
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,357
-I was caught off guard.
I was like...
-I thought, "yeah."

616
00:21:16,392 --> 00:21:18,059
I was like, "he was just
really happy to talk to me."

617
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,278
he's like, "so..."
but I didn't realize

618
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:23,564
he was trying to figure out
who is this on the phone.

619
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,701
So he was like, "yeah,
is this..." I said, "kita."

620
00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:27,785
he's like,
"hey, how you doing?"

621
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,453
he was like, "so,

622
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:30,871
do you wanna get together,
maybe, you know,

623
00:21:30,907 --> 00:21:32,406
I know it's been a minute."
and I was like,

624
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,041
"well, I'm in dallas,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

625
00:21:34,077 --> 00:21:35,576
I'll be back here.
You blah, blah, blah, blah."

626
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,711
and he was like,
"okay, perfect.

627
00:21:36,746 --> 00:21:39,246
So let's do this weekend."

628
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:42,717
he, kind of, made plans
by mistake.

629
00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:45,553
So, we moved past that
and then into dating.

630
00:21:45,588 --> 00:21:48,756
We dated...We dated
for a little bit.

631
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,392
And you told me,
you love me the first time.

632
00:21:51,427 --> 00:21:52,710
We-we're jumping.

633
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:55,062
We dated
for a little bit, right?

634
00:21:55,098 --> 00:21:56,397
-We dated for a little bit.
-Right.

635
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:57,982
And then...

636
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:01,569
-Oh, that's right.
-I got back with my ex.

637
00:22:01,604 --> 00:22:03,154
Can we say that again?

638
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,389
I said it first.

639
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,008
-I was about to say.
Say what now?
-I said it first.

640
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:08,726
And I tried to catch myself,
we were on the phone.

641
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,294
Too late, already said it.
I was like...

642
00:22:10,313 --> 00:22:12,129
And she had shared something

643
00:22:12,148 --> 00:22:13,514
really emotional with me.

644
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:14,982
And I was like, "oh my god,
I love you."

645
00:22:15,018 --> 00:22:16,484
and she was like,
"excuse me?"

646
00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:18,486
and I was like, "wait.

647
00:22:18,521 --> 00:22:21,906
I meant
that I had loved the way

648
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,858
that you had conveyed."

649
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,161
and I was like,
"you know what,

650
00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:28,812
I... Well, I love you.
I could...

651
00:22:28,831 --> 00:22:30,481
I mean, what...
It is what it is.

652
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,149
I love you."

653
00:22:32,168 --> 00:22:34,651
-and that was that, man.
-Yeah. That was it.

654
00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:38,589
And it was...It was kismet.

655
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:40,091
Yeah.

656
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:42,426
This was November
when we saw each other,

657
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:45,012
then we didn't see each other
any more until April.

658
00:22:45,048 --> 00:22:46,263
-Yeah.
-And then,

659
00:22:46,299 --> 00:22:48,665
April came and I was driving

660
00:22:48,684 --> 00:22:50,418
in our hometown in eden.

661
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:52,086
And his... One of his friends

662
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,521
as a mutual friend,
he was like,

663
00:22:53,556 --> 00:22:55,056
"man, I'm on my way
to, uh, chance's house.

664
00:22:55,091 --> 00:22:56,557
I'm about to walk over there,
give me a ride."

665
00:22:56,592 --> 00:22:57,925
and I was like, "oh."
when he said his name,

666
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,326
I was like, "oh god.

667
00:22:59,362 --> 00:23:01,395
Oh, chance? Oh, okay.

668
00:23:01,431 --> 00:23:04,181
Okay. I'll give you a ride
over there, you know?"

669
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,284
and so, I take kevin
over there,

670
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,536
and I pull up
in the driveway,

671
00:23:08,571 --> 00:23:10,521
and I don't know
if kevin had called him

672
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:12,456
to say that tabitha
gonna give me the ride.

673
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:14,208
I ran real quick, you know...

674
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:17,528
About 25 pushups

675
00:23:17,547 --> 00:23:19,246
and waited for, you know,

676
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,631
let her see
what she was missing

677
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:21,715
and then post it up
on the board.

678
00:23:21,751 --> 00:23:23,751
-[laughs]
-right, right.

679
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,754
But when I pull it up
and I saw him,

680
00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,872
that feeling
started coming back.

681
00:23:28,891 --> 00:23:31,092
I started feeling...
I was, "oh, my god."

682
00:23:31,144 --> 00:23:32,476
and so I was just like,
"hey, chance."

683
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,645
-and he was like, "hey, tab."
-yeah.

684
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,713
And we started
talking that day

685
00:23:36,732 --> 00:23:39,650
and we have been together
ever since.

686
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:40,818
Since. Yup.

687
00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:42,236
Dating became more frequent,

688
00:23:42,271 --> 00:23:44,071
we just started to just,
like, do stuff together,

689
00:23:44,107 --> 00:23:46,073
started becoming a regular

690
00:23:46,109 --> 00:23:48,159
that we were
just out together.

691
00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:51,245
We go down to atl greek

692
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,747
and she just treated me

693
00:23:53,783 --> 00:23:55,232
like she treated me
in new york and I was like,

694
00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:56,750
"wow. This girl might really,
really like me."

695
00:23:56,786 --> 00:23:58,285
I introduced him
to some of my people.

696
00:23:58,337 --> 00:24:00,171
Yeah. Yeah.
She, like, integrated me

697
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,339
my "transparent self"
into like

698
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:03,907
her whole new york sce.

699
00:24:03,926 --> 00:24:05,742
But my ex came back
into the picture.

700
00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:06,961
My ex came back
into the picture

701
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:08,245
right after that trip

702
00:24:08,264 --> 00:24:09,847
which was crazy.

703
00:24:09,882 --> 00:24:12,916
And I was like, I had so long
to, kind of, just, like,

704
00:24:12,935 --> 00:24:14,935
be in a whirlwind with her.

705
00:24:14,971 --> 00:24:17,638
And then, the ex is back,
like, "okay.

706
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,523
I want us to, kind of,
re-establish ourselves."

707
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:22,276
so I was like, "whoa,
this came out of nowhere.

708
00:24:22,311 --> 00:24:23,944
I want to call my friend."
like, she was easily

709
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:26,113
becoming my best friend,
so I called her up

710
00:24:26,149 --> 00:24:27,764
and I was like, "yo, like,

711
00:24:27,783 --> 00:24:29,366
shorty said she wanted
to get back together.

712
00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:30,618
And yada, yada, yada."

713
00:24:30,653 --> 00:24:32,036
I'm like,
"whoa, this is wild."

714
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:33,287
she was like,

715
00:24:33,322 --> 00:24:34,538
"so what are you
gonna decide?

716
00:24:34,574 --> 00:24:35,606
What are you going to do?"

717
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:36,991
I was like, "it just happened.

718
00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:38,442
Like, I was just trying
to, like, tell you,

719
00:24:38,461 --> 00:24:39,827
like, talk through
some things."

720
00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:41,328
"well, let me...Let me
make this easy for you.

721
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,713
I don't wanna be with anybody

722
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:44,131
who doesn't know
if they wanna be with me.

723
00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:46,050
So you can...
You can get back with her.

724
00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:47,801
Have an amazing life."

725
00:24:47,837 --> 00:24:49,837
I wish you nothing
but blessings and success

726
00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:52,389
and have a great year,
the great rest of your life."

727
00:24:52,425 --> 00:24:53,807
I was like, "yo, relax.

728
00:24:53,843 --> 00:24:55,392
Like, it's not even
that big of a deal.

729
00:24:55,428 --> 00:24:57,561
I'm just trying to talk
with you through this

730
00:24:57,597 --> 00:24:58,562
-as I plan."
-I just...

731
00:24:58,598 --> 00:24:59,730
I want us to make it clear

732
00:24:59,765 --> 00:25:00,797
that I'm not about...

733
00:25:00,816 --> 00:25:02,149
I'm not about to build a case

734
00:25:02,185 --> 00:25:03,384
on why I'm better.

735
00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:04,852
If you don't know
why I'm better,

736
00:25:04,887 --> 00:25:07,054
then there's nothing else
to talk about

737
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:08,722
and it's no...
It's absolutely...

738
00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:10,357
It's really
no hard feelings, like,

739
00:25:10,393 --> 00:25:12,726
I want you to... As a friend,
I want you to be happy,

740
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:14,662
but I'm not gonna sit here
and plead my case

741
00:25:14,697 --> 00:25:17,164
-on why I'm a good choice.
-But I would say

742
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,499
that response
is why I was like,

743
00:25:18,534 --> 00:25:19,416
"nah. Let's keep dating."

744
00:25:19,452 --> 00:25:20,334
because that was like,

745
00:25:20,369 --> 00:25:21,818
she was giving me vibes

746
00:25:21,837 --> 00:25:23,420
that I had just never
experienced before,

747
00:25:23,456 --> 00:25:25,039
like, she was going back
to business school.

748
00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:26,574
I didn't know what I wanted
to do with my career.

749
00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:28,309
She was just so focused
and motivated

750
00:25:28,344 --> 00:25:30,544
on, like, her own success,

751
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:32,012
and what she wanted
out of life.

752
00:25:32,048 --> 00:25:33,581
And I was like, "whoa."
I was like,

753
00:25:33,616 --> 00:25:35,649
"nah, nah, this is...
This is worth, like,

754
00:25:35,685 --> 00:25:37,718
trying to see
this thing through."

755
00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:39,336
I think I said I love you

756
00:25:39,355 --> 00:25:42,439
probably a month in.

757
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:47,561
And I think faith
was, sort of, like,

758
00:25:47,613 --> 00:25:50,864
-"okay." I think...
-Well, because he's fearless

759
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:54,351
in love, and relationships,
and dating.

760
00:25:54,370 --> 00:25:56,904
I'm not, like,
we are... We're...

761
00:25:56,956 --> 00:25:58,372
We may be new at marriage,

762
00:25:58,407 --> 00:26:00,023
but we're not new
at relationships.

763
00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:02,025
-Absolutely.
-We've both had

764
00:26:02,044 --> 00:26:03,460
a number of relationships

765
00:26:03,496 --> 00:26:04,795
that didn't work out

766
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:07,798
the way we anticipated
at the time.

767
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:10,884
For me, I think
I internalized more things

768
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,803
from those past experiences

769
00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:15,306
and he just didn't,

770
00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:16,707
he wasn't jaded.

771
00:26:16,726 --> 00:26:18,875
His heart was really open.

772
00:26:18,894 --> 00:26:20,811
So I wasn't as quick

773
00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:22,930
to jump
on the I love you train,

774
00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:25,816
but I did get there
eventually.

775
00:26:25,851 --> 00:26:29,103
And my guard started

776
00:26:29,155 --> 00:26:31,655
to come down over time.

777
00:26:31,691 --> 00:26:33,907
We, kind of, like, built out
these guidelines that,

778
00:26:33,943 --> 00:26:36,493
like, when we're together,
like, we're...

779
00:26:36,529 --> 00:26:38,162
We can do everything together,

780
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,748
like, as sort of a couple,
a pseudo-couple.

781
00:26:40,783 --> 00:26:43,951
But when we're apart
or with our friends,

782
00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:45,953
you know, we're just friends
in the group.

783
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,173
We don't wanna be that couple
in a group of friends.

784
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:51,759
And for the next few months,
it's me,

785
00:26:51,794 --> 00:26:53,093
you know, playing football.

786
00:26:53,129 --> 00:26:54,762
<i> But we were still</i>
<i> in this, like,</i>

787
00:26:54,797 --> 00:26:56,079
<i> when we're together,</i>
<i> we're together,</i>

788
00:26:56,098 --> 00:26:57,264
<i> but when we're apart, like,</i>

789
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,516
we're just individuals,
you know.

790
00:26:59,552 --> 00:27:00,968
But I think our relationship,

791
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:02,469
if we can call it that
at this point,

792
00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:04,438
I make the joke that, like,

793
00:27:04,473 --> 00:27:06,089
"I had a girlfriend,
but she didn't have

794
00:27:06,108 --> 00:27:07,308
a boyfriend at this point."

795
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:08,475
like, that was
like a six-month,

796
00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:11,111
like, this is happening.

797
00:27:11,147 --> 00:27:13,647
I went from being the woman

798
00:27:13,699 --> 00:27:15,649
who didn't wanna be
monogamous, or get married,

799
00:27:15,701 --> 00:27:17,034
or any of those types
of things.

800
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:18,869
It wasn't like
I was void of emotion,

801
00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:20,120
do you know
what I mean? Like...

802
00:27:20,156 --> 00:27:22,206
-W-w-w...
-Shh.

803
00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:23,874
It wasn't like I was void
of emotion.

804
00:27:23,909 --> 00:27:26,543
I'd just, think, been
a little bit scarred

805
00:27:26,579 --> 00:27:29,296
from what I had experienced
with my parents.

806
00:27:29,332 --> 00:27:32,333
Once my parents got divorced,

807
00:27:32,385 --> 00:27:35,169
that was just not even
on the table or an option.

808
00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:36,887
-Mmm-hmm.
-And so...

809
00:27:36,922 --> 00:27:40,891
But the longer I was with him

810
00:27:40,926 --> 00:27:42,726
and the more time
I spent with him,

811
00:27:42,762 --> 00:27:46,730
I was like, "okay,
I can see why people

812
00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:48,465
spend the rest of their lives
with someone

813
00:27:48,484 --> 00:27:50,484
because now at this point,

814
00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:53,020
I can't imagine doing
anything without him.

815
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,239
Like, I can't even see
that happening."

816
00:27:55,274 --> 00:27:57,140
<i> you just start</i>
<i> to notice little things</i>

817
00:27:57,159 --> 00:27:59,693
<i> that maybe before you didn't</i>
<i> realize those things meant</i>

818
00:27:59,729 --> 00:28:01,462
<i> that you were in love,</i>
<i> but I was like,</i>

819
00:28:01,497 --> 00:28:04,231
<i> "wow. Everything I did,</i>
<i> I wanted to share with him."</i>

820
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:06,650
I basically got,

821
00:28:06,669 --> 00:28:08,168
kind of,
thrown into her world.

822
00:28:08,204 --> 00:28:10,371
-Yes. I threw you in.
-And... Yeah, remember?

823
00:28:10,423 --> 00:28:13,424
And so, I came to dc
and I was with her,

824
00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:16,093
and I got to see her
perform, and interact.

825
00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:18,712
[laughs] that's where we went
to get those chicken wings.

826
00:28:18,764 --> 00:28:20,931
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Had those at stan's, the man.

827
00:28:20,966 --> 00:28:22,549
-Yeah. Okay. [laughs]
-so, we went

828
00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:23,934
to go get the wings

829
00:28:23,969 --> 00:28:26,353
and we were leaving
after that.

830
00:28:26,389 --> 00:28:27,388
Do you remember?

831
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,357
We were walking and she said,

832
00:28:30,393 --> 00:28:32,025
"I have something
to tell you,

833
00:28:32,061 --> 00:28:35,229
but I don't know
how you're gonna respond

834
00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:38,365
-to what I have to tell you."
-I don't remember.

835
00:28:38,401 --> 00:28:41,201
And we were standing
at the corner

836
00:28:41,237 --> 00:28:43,620
and I said, "I love you too."

837
00:28:43,656 --> 00:28:46,189
that's right. Oh, my god.
How do you remember?

838
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:48,575
-Oh, you remember everything.
-I remember because I knew

839
00:28:48,627 --> 00:28:50,577
what you were going to say,

840
00:28:50,629 --> 00:28:54,581
so I decided to say it
before you said it. [laughs]

841
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,867
we were in the car
and you got attitude.

842
00:28:56,886 --> 00:28:59,219
-Yeah. And I said...
-So you don't wanna marry me

843
00:28:59,255 --> 00:29:01,088
no more? I was like,
"wait a minute.

844
00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:02,706
Wait, I thought we was it...

845
00:29:02,725 --> 00:29:05,175
What are you talking about?"
I mean, out of nowhere.

846
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:10,280
To this past relationship,

847
00:29:10,299 --> 00:29:12,499
so it had to happen.

848
00:29:12,551 --> 00:29:14,835
So, I got back with her.

849
00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,054
Things didn't turn out the way
I thought they would be.

850
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:21,041
-Mmm-hmm.
-And it was a mutual friend

851
00:29:21,076 --> 00:29:22,476
that ended up
bringing us together,

852
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:26,180
but she called
because she was asked

853
00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:28,515
to call by one of her clients.

854
00:29:28,567 --> 00:29:30,484
I, kind of,
sent a text just to him

855
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:31,802
as though I was sending
a group text.

856
00:29:31,821 --> 00:29:33,854
I was like, "hey, y'all.
Tito's having,

857
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:35,155
you know, a big party.

858
00:29:35,191 --> 00:29:37,191
If you guys wanna come,
hit me here."

859
00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:38,809
and I only sent it to him

860
00:29:38,828 --> 00:29:40,694
even though it sounded like
I sent it to group text.

861
00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:41,978
He hit back in 10 seconds.

862
00:29:41,997 --> 00:29:43,313
I was like...

863
00:29:43,332 --> 00:29:44,498
So he's like,

864
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:45,999
"yo, I got this guy,
that guy,

865
00:29:46,035 --> 00:29:47,868
this guy, that guy,
you know...

866
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,503
You know, let me know
what the address is."

867
00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:50,871
I was like, "okay. Great."

868
00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:53,590
and that's kind of
where it re-ignited

869
00:29:53,626 --> 00:29:55,092
and I think what was great is

870
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:56,677
it took him to go back
to a space

871
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:58,428
that even was...
That was...

872
00:29:58,464 --> 00:30:00,214
Even though it was dormant,
I think it's very important

873
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:02,432
when you're in relationships,

874
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:05,552
if you don't close the door,

875
00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:07,521
that door will be ajar
and at some point

876
00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:10,891
when there is, you know,
an opportunity,

877
00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:12,559
it can easily be opened.

878
00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:15,529
So I felt like
that was a good scenario

879
00:30:15,564 --> 00:30:17,531
that needed to happen
for him to realize,

880
00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:19,182
"okay. That's not it anymore.

881
00:30:19,201 --> 00:30:20,901
I know that door is closed."

882
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,871
and it allowed him to be
completely available.

883
00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,240
A part of me had this fear

884
00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:29,376
of deciding and vocalizing

885
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:30,794
that I wanted to be married,

886
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,362
that I wanted
to have a family

887
00:30:32,381 --> 00:30:35,249
because I was afraid

888
00:30:35,301 --> 00:30:37,050
of failing at that.

889
00:30:37,086 --> 00:30:38,802
I said, "okay.
How do you achieve...

890
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,587
How have you achieved so much
in your career?

891
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:43,423
How can you apply those things
to your personal life?"

892
00:30:43,475 --> 00:30:44,808
so that's what I did.

893
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,394
I set a goal,
I wrote the goal down,

894
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:48,395
and I thought about it.

895
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:49,730
This is what I really want.

896
00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:52,048
So, on my birthday that year
I wrote,

897
00:30:52,067 --> 00:30:53,233
I will be engaged

898
00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:56,270
to blank this year.

899
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:57,404
Hadn't even met the person,

900
00:30:57,439 --> 00:30:59,273
didn't even know
who it would be.

901
00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:01,608
I always say I didn't know,
but god knew.

902
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:05,061
Right? And six months later,
I met my husband.

903
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,065
I was actually very calm
and measured about it.

904
00:31:09,084 --> 00:31:11,585
A couple of people
tried to set me up with folks

905
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:14,671
and I said,
"hmm, it's not him."

906
00:31:14,707 --> 00:31:17,240
but then I met kenny
and I had this list,

907
00:31:17,259 --> 00:31:18,508
and everybody has their list,

908
00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:20,577
and it was every single thing,

909
00:31:20,596 --> 00:31:22,429
I had 50 things on the list.

910
00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:24,631
He was 49 out of 50.

911
00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:28,251
You're not 6'2,
but that's okay.

912
00:31:28,270 --> 00:31:30,086
-Everything else...
-I can try to be 6'2.

913
00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:31,271
Everything else, though,

914
00:31:31,307 --> 00:31:32,773
the things
that really mattered...

915
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:34,107
The things
that really mattered,

916
00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:35,926
his heart, his kindness,

917
00:31:35,945 --> 00:31:38,195
the goodness,
he was consistent,

918
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:40,614
and just demonstrated love
across the board.

919
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,699
I knew how he loved me

920
00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:44,768
just by taking care of me

921
00:31:44,787 --> 00:31:46,620
and dealing
with the whirlwind

922
00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:48,705
in the small amount of time
we'd been together

923
00:31:48,741 --> 00:31:50,791
because it's a lot
dating an artist

924
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:52,108
because it's...

925
00:31:52,127 --> 00:31:53,460
We can be
a little bit selfish

926
00:31:53,495 --> 00:31:55,779
because of our work

927
00:31:55,798 --> 00:31:56,997
and emotional,

928
00:31:57,049 --> 00:32:00,334
but he was standing tall
in it.

929
00:32:00,386 --> 00:32:03,470
And that's when I knew,
"gosh, he gets it."

930
00:32:03,505 --> 00:32:05,288
I don't have to explain.

931
00:32:05,307 --> 00:32:08,475
And I could still be myself
through this whole thing.

932
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:11,645
That was really,
really cool, man.

933
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:12,813
That was dope.

934
00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:13,797
You still do that.

935
00:32:13,816 --> 00:32:15,465
So anyway,

936
00:32:15,484 --> 00:32:16,566
gosh, I'm losing it.

937
00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:18,652
Okay. Go ahead. [laughs]

938
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:19,970
no, that was...

939
00:32:19,989 --> 00:32:22,022
That's the first time
that I knew

940
00:32:22,074 --> 00:32:24,908
that it would go the distance

941
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:27,577
is when you did come
to philly.

942
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,146
I said I was gonna make a...
Or go to visit somebody

943
00:32:30,165 --> 00:32:31,665
in north philadelphia
and she said,

944
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,149
"oh no, I'll go with you."

945
00:32:33,168 --> 00:32:36,336
and I'd look and said,
"you sure you wanna go?"

946
00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:38,672
I just kinda said it
like that, you know.

947
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,207
-And it was late at night too.
-Yeah, it was...

948
00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:41,758
It was at night...
Late at night and you said,

949
00:32:41,794 --> 00:32:43,343
-"yeah, I'll go."
-like, 1:00 in the morning.

950
00:32:43,379 --> 00:32:44,978
And so we went down there

951
00:32:45,014 --> 00:32:47,097
and she met a couple
of friends of mine.

952
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:48,932
And at that moment,

953
00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:52,502
I knew because
it wasn't, like,

954
00:32:52,521 --> 00:32:55,338
putting on any airs
or anything like that.

955
00:32:55,357 --> 00:32:58,692
It was just...
That was the raw organic her

956
00:32:58,727 --> 00:33:01,945
that she can be from,
you know,

957
00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:03,730
sitting down at this table,

958
00:33:03,782 --> 00:33:05,515
you know, champagne glasses,

959
00:33:05,534 --> 00:33:07,901
all of this,
to being in the streets,

960
00:33:07,953 --> 00:33:09,519
type of, you know,

961
00:33:09,538 --> 00:33:12,188
from one end to the other end
of the spectrum.

962
00:33:12,207 --> 00:33:13,407
And that was, like,

963
00:33:13,459 --> 00:33:15,375
the very first time
that I knew.

964
00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:18,528
We were girlfriend,
boyfriend maybe six...

965
00:33:18,547 --> 00:33:20,530
-No, about a year into...
-Mmm-hmm.

966
00:33:20,549 --> 00:33:21,715
Your graduate school.

967
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:22,799
I lost my job.

968
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:24,718
I had always had jobs,

969
00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:26,036
-internships and stuff...
-Mmm-hmm.

970
00:33:26,055 --> 00:33:27,637
...So I never
had to go without.

971
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:28,922
-And he's a provider.
-Yeah.

972
00:33:28,974 --> 00:33:30,540
Like, that's just who
he is by nature.

973
00:33:30,559 --> 00:33:32,542
He's a person who if we were
out for drinks,

974
00:33:32,561 --> 00:33:34,478
he's gonna slap his card
on the bar

975
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:35,929
and pay
for everyone's drinks.

976
00:33:35,981 --> 00:33:39,816
So, to not be able
to do that was...

977
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:41,217
-Yes, it was.
-...Taking a toll on him.

978
00:33:41,236 --> 00:33:42,552
Yeah, it was messing me up.

979
00:33:42,571 --> 00:33:44,888
So I was, like,
becoming a very angry

980
00:33:44,907 --> 00:33:47,107
different person
in that point in time.

981
00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:49,109
I'm running out of money,
she wants to go on double date

982
00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,227
one of her colleagues
or one of her classmates

983
00:33:51,246 --> 00:33:53,663
and I'm like, "no, like,
let's eat at jimmy john's

984
00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:54,915
this weekend and, you know,

985
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,116
-just chilling."
-she was like, "no.

986
00:33:56,168 --> 00:33:57,501
Her boyfriend's
coming to town.

987
00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,336
We're going out."
and if you ever met

988
00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:01,004
this one before,
she can be

989
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,574
very much decisive
and you don't have
much say in it.

990
00:34:04,593 --> 00:34:05,926
So we go out.

991
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,577
I'm just seeing them
order up the menu.

992
00:34:07,596 --> 00:34:08,678
You know, when you're out
with your friends, like,

993
00:34:08,714 --> 00:34:10,430
"all right, get a drink.

994
00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:11,681
I'll have the water

995
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,133
with lemon please."

996
00:34:13,185 --> 00:34:14,918
and I'm just, like,
counting out to like,

997
00:34:14,937 --> 00:34:16,603
"oh, my god, what are we gonna
do when this bill comes?"

998
00:34:16,638 --> 00:34:18,138
that's all I could think
about the entire time.

999
00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:19,422
I looked down

1000
00:34:19,441 --> 00:34:21,608
and I see that I had
a text from her

1001
00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:23,143
it was like,
"go check your account."

1002
00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:24,978
and I saw that she had
quickpay'd me money

1003
00:34:25,030 --> 00:34:26,596
to cover the meal.

1004
00:34:26,615 --> 00:34:29,683
So I could pull out my card
as opposed to her,

1005
00:34:29,718 --> 00:34:31,368
you know, pulling out hers.

1006
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:33,787
And I just like,
"that's crazy, bro."

1007
00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:35,789
like, that right there,

1008
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:37,657
I said, "when I get my life
together,

1009
00:34:37,693 --> 00:34:39,359
I'm marrying you.
You don't have to think...

1010
00:34:39,394 --> 00:34:41,778
I'm marrying you because
you freaking get it, bro."

1011
00:34:41,797 --> 00:34:43,830
you be with me
in what was the most

1012
00:34:43,882 --> 00:34:45,332
humiliating moments
of my life

1013
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:48,468
<i> just like she wouldn't</i>
<i> let me lose hope.</i>

1014
00:34:48,504 --> 00:34:51,304
For years, we got pressured
about being married,

1015
00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:52,839
shacking,
things of that nature.

1016
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:54,391
And it was a different,
kind of pressure from her

1017
00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:56,059
because she comes
from a family

1018
00:34:56,095 --> 00:34:58,395
and a background of marriage,
right?

1019
00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:00,230
Me? Not so much.

1020
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:01,815
It's not very common
in my side of the family

1021
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,133
to get married.

1022
00:35:03,152 --> 00:35:05,301
I didn't know
what it truly meant.

1023
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,237
Mmm-hmm.

1024
00:35:07,272 --> 00:35:08,522
It was a piece of paper
to him,

1025
00:35:08,574 --> 00:35:09,739
that's what he used
to always say.

1026
00:35:09,775 --> 00:35:11,241
Therefore,
I didn't respect it.

1027
00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:13,743
-But we got engaged...
-And... We got engaged

1028
00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:15,529
and, you know... And I was
like, a lot of brothers.

1029
00:35:15,581 --> 00:35:17,147
I held... I held that
engagement as long as I could.

1030
00:35:17,166 --> 00:35:18,331
For as long as I could

1031
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:20,534
because I still... Again,
I did...

1032
00:35:20,586 --> 00:35:22,652
I was doing to that
to appease everybody else

1033
00:35:22,671 --> 00:35:24,504
and to relieve some
of that pressure.

1034
00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:26,506
Like, "man, look man,
I ain't just hanging out.

1035
00:35:26,542 --> 00:35:27,924
-I'm..."
-[laughter]

1036
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,426
right? But...

1037
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:32,846
She was...
She went from asking...

1038
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:36,850
To one day,
we go to a wedding

1039
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:39,335
and then it dawns on me
and I'm thinking,

1040
00:35:39,354 --> 00:35:40,937
"oh man, we will go
to this wedding

1041
00:35:40,973 --> 00:35:42,505
and it's gonna stir
this back up.

1042
00:35:42,524 --> 00:35:43,890
Oh, my god.

1043
00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:45,442
So, we're in the wedding
and I'm listening,

1044
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,776
and I'm moved by it.
I'm never...

1045
00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:48,445
I've went to weddings
and I'm like,

1046
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,013
"man, that was beautiful.
Okay.

1047
00:35:50,032 --> 00:35:52,232
I like what that brother
had to say."

1048
00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:53,533
right?

1049
00:35:53,569 --> 00:35:54,601
And we get in the car
and leaving,

1050
00:35:54,636 --> 00:35:56,069
she don't say nothing.

1051
00:35:56,121 --> 00:35:57,370
She like,
"what are we gonna eat?"

1052
00:35:57,406 --> 00:35:58,688
-and I'm like...
-I was hungry.

1053
00:35:58,707 --> 00:36:00,690
And I'm like...

1054
00:36:00,709 --> 00:36:03,243
She don't wanna marry me
no more.

1055
00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:04,578
She don't view this.

1056
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:07,047
So I go to her and I'm...
And...

1057
00:36:07,082 --> 00:36:09,032
-No.
-And I say, "I..."

1058
00:36:09,051 --> 00:36:10,550
uh-uh. We were in the car

1059
00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:12,886
-and you got attitude.
-Yeah. And I said...

1060
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:14,754
"so you don't wanna marry me
no more?"

1061
00:36:14,806 --> 00:36:16,206
I was like,
"wait a minute.

1062
00:36:16,225 --> 00:36:17,707
Wait, I thought we was it...

1063
00:36:17,726 --> 00:36:18,758
What are you talking about?"

1064
00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:20,376
I mean, out of nowhere.

1065
00:36:20,395 --> 00:36:22,229
I stacked all my money,
got my life together,

1066
00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,563
and that was
when the ring...

1067
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:24,731
Can you show them
the ring, please?

1068
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:26,566
[laughs] yeah. It was...

1069
00:36:26,602 --> 00:36:28,852
He definitely stacked
his money.
He hid the money.

1070
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:31,721
For my birthday,
she had gave me my present.

1071
00:36:31,740 --> 00:36:33,823
-Mmm-hmm.
-And my present was...

1072
00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:35,609
Of all things, it was a bible.

1073
00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:37,393
-Praise the lord.
-[laughs]

1074
00:36:37,412 --> 00:36:39,229
-praise the lord.
-It had my name on it

1075
00:36:39,248 --> 00:36:41,064
and everything,
and I got this bible,

1076
00:36:41,083 --> 00:36:42,832
and I was like,

1077
00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:46,419
"you know what, I have
definitely experienced life

1078
00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:47,737
on both prisms."

1079
00:36:47,756 --> 00:36:48,955
you know what I'm saying?

1080
00:36:49,007 --> 00:36:50,757
Both good and bad,
but my nature

1081
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:51,758
is to be good.

1082
00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:52,842
So long story short...

1083
00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:53,927
His nature is... [laughs]

1084
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:55,428
when I got that bible,

1085
00:36:55,464 --> 00:36:56,763
I was like, "okay, god.
I got it."

1086
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:58,081
-mmm-hmm.
-You know what I'm saying?

1087
00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,516
This is the first woman
I ever dated,

1088
00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:00,901
-she gave me a bible.
-I gave you a bible,

1089
00:37:00,936 --> 00:37:02,852
-not the cookies, a bible.
-You know.

1090
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,854
You know,
I mean truth be told, I'm...

1091
00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:06,640
I aspire,
you know what I'm saying?

1092
00:37:06,692 --> 00:37:09,425
Consistently aspire
to be a better man,

1093
00:37:09,444 --> 00:37:11,444
you know what I'm saying?

1094
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,480
So receiving that bible
is, like, "you know what?

1095
00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:14,931
Okay. I get it."
you know what I'm saying?

1096
00:37:14,950 --> 00:37:16,366
She's a good woman,
she's... You know,

1097
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:18,568
she about her business,
blah, blah, blah.

1098
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,438
And you know,
I looked at it as a sign,
like,

1099
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,624
"yo, I don't wanna
lose her."

1100
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:28,278
what is it?
Like, why am I, like,

1101
00:37:28,297 --> 00:37:30,780
stiff-arming him, like,
why do I not want this?

1102
00:37:30,799 --> 00:37:33,800
He's always been a great man
and a great person.

1103
00:37:35,137 --> 00:37:37,170
I...

1104
00:37:37,222 --> 00:37:38,888
Am a part of that, like,

1105
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:42,475
daddy issues
crew of girls and so,

1106
00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:45,128
I was always
very, like, cautious

1107
00:37:45,147 --> 00:37:48,181
of getting close to men

1108
00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:49,983
and always felt, like,
I had to, kind of, like,

1109
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,318
explain why that was.

1110
00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:53,520
I always, like...

1111
00:37:53,572 --> 00:37:56,573
Kept to myself I think
because of that history

1112
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:59,492
and with him, like,
I explained it to him.

1113
00:37:59,528 --> 00:38:00,744
He understood it.

1114
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,245
We speak the same
love language,

1115
00:38:02,281 --> 00:38:05,982
do we both, like being...

1116
00:38:06,001 --> 00:38:07,534
We need physical touch
and, like,

1117
00:38:07,586 --> 00:38:09,369
we both, like,
being close to each other

1118
00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:10,987
and touching each other
and, like,

1119
00:38:11,006 --> 00:38:12,655
<i> there's never been distance</i>
<i> between us.</i>

1120
00:38:12,674 --> 00:38:14,741
[spencer]<i> she welcomed</i>
<i> the, like,</i>

1121
00:38:14,776 --> 00:38:15,875
<i> quirky side of me.</i>

1122
00:38:15,911 --> 00:38:18,044
<i> And she just accepted me for,</i>

1123
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,146
<i> you know, the person</i>
<i> that is emotional,</i>

1124
00:38:20,182 --> 00:38:21,715
the person that is,
like, empathetic,

1125
00:38:21,767 --> 00:38:24,167
but at the end
of the day, like,

1126
00:38:24,186 --> 00:38:26,052
I think she knew that, like,

1127
00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:28,722
I would be wholeheartedly
in this with her.

1128
00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:30,607
And that's why
I loved her for.

1129
00:38:32,144 --> 00:38:34,394
I stacked up my money,
got my life together,

1130
00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:35,612
and that was when
the ring came.

1131
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:38,514
Can you show him
the ring, please?

1132
00:38:38,533 --> 00:38:40,567
He definitely stacked
his money.
He hid the money.

1133
00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:43,036
He would fly back and forth
from new york to atlanta,

1134
00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:45,121
and he would come,
and he would ask me to like,

1135
00:38:45,157 --> 00:38:46,573
he's, like, "can we go
to chick-fil-a?

1136
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:48,625
Can you pay?" and I'm like,
"we both work.

1137
00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,543
Why do I need to pay for your
six dollar chick-fil-a?"

1138
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:53,747
you're so annoying, bro.
Like, so...

1139
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:55,715
You're so annoying, like,
you could have just paid,

1140
00:38:55,751 --> 00:38:57,083
-but...
-I'm like...

1141
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:58,701
I'm getting so mad like,
can you just pay?

1142
00:38:58,720 --> 00:38:59,869
Like, why are you asking me
questions about it,

1143
00:38:59,888 --> 00:39:01,054
-can you just pay?
-I'm like,

1144
00:39:01,089 --> 00:39:02,222
"this chick-fil-a
is six dollars.

1145
00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:03,757
We are both working adults.

1146
00:39:03,809 --> 00:39:05,392
Why do I have to pay
for your..."

1147
00:39:05,427 --> 00:39:07,310
I'm trying to keep
every single penny

1148
00:39:07,346 --> 00:39:08,728
to get this ring.

1149
00:39:08,764 --> 00:39:10,213
And she just, like,
not making it easy.

1150
00:39:10,232 --> 00:39:12,482
I mean, got an attitude
on a weekend roll in.

1151
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,267
She's like... [groans]

1152
00:39:14,319 --> 00:39:15,602
you know.

1153
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:17,103
-Jeez, but anyway.
-So when I finally

1154
00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:18,822
saw the ring, I was like,

1155
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:19,773
"where did he get money?"

1156
00:39:19,825 --> 00:39:21,408
[laughing]

1157
00:39:21,443 --> 00:39:23,226
I was like... I asked
his brother, I was like,

1158
00:39:23,245 --> 00:39:24,560
"what's your brother
doing on the side?

1159
00:39:24,579 --> 00:39:25,779
This ring's beautiful."

1160
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,665
after I blow up, right?

1161
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,234
I mean, I'm pissed.

1162
00:39:31,253 --> 00:39:32,402
-He hot.
-Like, you know, I'm like,

1163
00:39:32,421 --> 00:39:34,671
so her response was,

1164
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,290
"no. I'm cool.

1165
00:39:37,342 --> 00:39:40,427
As long as I'm with you,

1166
00:39:40,462 --> 00:39:42,745
I'm good."

1167
00:39:42,764 --> 00:39:44,297
-it was just that simple.
-I was like,

1168
00:39:44,332 --> 00:39:46,082
"you ain't going nowhere,
I ain't going nowhere.

1169
00:39:46,101 --> 00:39:47,067
-We ain't gotta get married."
-"as long as...

1170
00:39:47,102 --> 00:39:48,802
Me and you together,

1171
00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:51,521
and we gonna be together,
we gonna die together."

1172
00:39:51,556 --> 00:39:54,023
and immediately,
I wanted to get married.

1173
00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:57,026
And because
what they said to me was...

1174
00:39:58,563 --> 00:39:59,946
She understood

1175
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:03,817
my misunderstanding
of marriage.

1176
00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:06,486
And she grew up with a man

1177
00:40:06,538 --> 00:40:08,371
that she praises.

1178
00:40:08,407 --> 00:40:10,623
She grew up in marriage
and knew the benefits of it

1179
00:40:10,659 --> 00:40:12,625
and everything,
but she was willing

1180
00:40:12,661 --> 00:40:15,545
to meet me
in my misunderstanding

1181
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,381
of what it meant...

1182
00:40:18,417 --> 00:40:21,284
And die with it.

1183
00:40:21,303 --> 00:40:22,635
I... Oh.

1184
00:40:22,671 --> 00:40:24,337
That's all I needed to know.

1185
00:40:24,389 --> 00:40:26,389
And at that moment,
I was, like,

1186
00:40:26,425 --> 00:40:28,224
"we got to get married."

1187
00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:31,478
[dramatic music playing]

1188
00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:32,628
[man]<i> I'm an owner</i>
<i> of my business.</i>

1189
00:40:32,647 --> 00:40:33,646
I do things my way.

1190
00:40:33,682 --> 00:40:35,131
I get up when I wanna get up.

1191
00:40:35,150 --> 00:40:36,649
Like, I move how I wanna move,

1192
00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:37,567
you know what I mean?

1193
00:40:37,602 --> 00:40:39,018
And so a lot of that

1194
00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:43,022
carried over into us,

1195
00:40:43,074 --> 00:40:44,858
like, you don't tell me
what to do.

1196
00:40:44,910 --> 00:40:47,744
-I worked for $15 an hour.
-He did.

1197
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,312
And you're talking
about humble?

1198
00:40:49,331 --> 00:40:50,830
-That is some humble as pie.
-I made his lunch.

1199
00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:52,081
-It sure was.
-Right.

1200
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,533
I wouldn't say that
to my boys.

1201
00:40:53,585 --> 00:40:55,084
Like, "hey, you know,
my wife is in charge

1202
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,202
and I got my allowance."

1203
00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:57,587
but now, I'm 45.

1204
00:40:57,622 --> 00:40:59,038
I tell people straight out,

1205
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,207
"yeah, I got
my allowance today. I'm good."