- [theme music playing] - [whistling]
♪ One, two One, two, three, four! ♪
♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
[whistling]
[chicken squawks]
Splishee! Splishee! Splishee! Splishee!
Free Splishee Day, here we come!
- What in the Sam Heck - [smacks] Ah!
- is a Splish- ee?! - Oh, Gramma,
it's only the world's most perfect combination
of ice, sugar, and chemicals.
Those are the magical makings of the Splishee.
Look! There's the Sip N' Snak!
[Cricket] Hurry up and park!
Shucks, the lot's full.
I suppose we could just meet you kids inside-
- They're gone. - Huh?
- Bye, Papa! - Bye, Dad!
[sighs] We're gonna find some parkin'
- and be right back. - If we don't return,
avenge us!
Wow. Look at all these new flavors!
[Cricket] Nitro Berry... Mental Melon...
Purple?! Oh, mama, here we come!
- [laughs] - [Clark] Hold it!
Can't you read?
Yes, but I choose not to.
No shoes, no shirt, no service.
No shoes means no Splishees.
[chuckles] Oh, chum, I am Cricket Green.
I never wear shoes!
Kid, I don't make up the rules, I just follow them.
Clean the bathroom three times a day.
Mop the floors every hour.
But if you mop the floors so often,
what's it matter what I wear on my feet?
Uh, because that's the rule! And no one is above the rules.
- [grunting] Listen, uh... Clark. - [items clatter]
Not wearing shoes is sort of my deal
and I love Splishees, heh.
Perhaps, we can strike a bargain?
Oh! There's one thing I'd like...
For you to leave!
All right! Come on, Tilly! Let's get outta here!
Uh, sorry, brother, but I have shoes on
- and a me-sized mug to fill. - [slushing]
Fine! Who wants a free, delicious, sugary,
[muffled] rainbow-colored Splishee, anyway.
Ugh! I've circled this block five times.
There isn't an open spot anywhere!
- What about that lot? - Five dollars for parking?!
That's highway robbery! No way we're parking there!
Good for you, son!
You know how much I admire cheapness in a man.
It's not the money, it's the principle.
Why should I pay that swindler when there's a free spot
out there, just waitin' to be found?
We just gotta keep looking.
- [muttering angrily] - [slurps]
It's so unfair that you didn't get a free Splishee, brother.
Guess you'll have to share some of mine.
- [gasps] Sister! - [Clark] Nope!
- Stop right there! - Aw, man, what do you want?
Everyone knows that sharing Splishees is strictly forbidden
by the Sip N' Snak rules,
and would result in forfeit of said free beverage.
What?! It's just sharing! Why is that against the rules?
It's basic hygiene, man.
Not that I'd expect you to understand.
You know, the easiest way to end all this
would be to just put on some shoes.
Yeah, sure, it'd be easy to bend to Clark's will.
Or, it would be even easier if I found a loophole.
Oh, Clark! Look! No feet on your precious, clean floor.
No! No! Now, your disgusting feet are at face-level!
- That's even worse! - Oof! Whoa-whoa!
Goo-goo, waa! I'm just a baby who doesn't need shoes.
- Oof! - This is pathetic.
And for the record, you make an ugly baby.
Tell that to my mom!
All right, Clark, you got me. Boom. Shoes.
Ugh, finally. Now, was that so hard?
- No. No, it was not. - Hmm?
Wait a minute... Hey!
- [hums] La tum tee-dee! - Hold it!
Those are not shoes! You just painted sneakers on your feet!
There's somethin' coverin' my feet, isn't there?
That's basically what shoes do.
Argh! Look, kid, this isn't up to me. Check it!
These are the official Sip N' Snak rules.
Everyone else has to follow 'em. Why can't you?
Because these rules are stupid!
I mean, look at some of these!
No cartwheels, no skipping, no gum-chewing,
- no excessive talking, - Mm-hm. Yep.
- no coin-flipping, - Uh-huh.
- no hand-holding, - Yeah.
- no mouth breathing?! - Mm-hm. Yep.
What is wrong with you?
If you want a free Splishee, you know what you need to do.
[groaning]
Rule #48: No sulking!
[Bill sighs] No one's leavin'.
Hey, look! A spot, right in front!
See? Patience pays off.
[honks horn] Move it or lose it, bub!
- Hey! - Wait a hot second.
- Is he eating popcorn?! - [chomps]
[Gramma] And watching TV?!
- [laughs] - Guess he's stayin'.
- [engine starts] - Bye!
Oh! Okay, I'll just put it in reverse and-- Ah, dang.
Ah! Son, this is startin' to grate my grill.
Just pay the $5 and be done with it.
Ten dollars?! That's price gouging!
No way am I givin' in to that crooked profiteer!
I am Bill Green and, by golly, I will find a free parkin' spot!
[muttering] ...stinkin' paint!
Why are you goin' to so much trouble over this, brother?
If you really want a Splishee, and I highly recommend it,
you can borrow my shoes.
It's not like you haven't worn shoes before.
Sure, in the snow. Or to play ball.
But that was different, that was my choice.
Not because Clark the clerk was on a power trip.
Then speaking of choices, sounds like you need to make one.
It's either no shoes, or no Splishee.
[groans]
...998, 999 and... another one!
Yes! [chuckles] Time to reward myself with a free Splishee!
You need a shirt?! But I never wear a shirt.
I guess I'm not gettin' an ice-cold beverage.
Tilly, I think I found a way to have it all!
Hey, crazy we have to put on a shirt and shoes
to go in, am I right?
It is pretty lame but what can ya do?
Those are the rules, after all.
I'll tell you what we can do. We can band together!
- What do we want? - Splishees!
- What do we want? - Splashee!
And when do we want 'em?
- On Free Splishee Day! - Some of us choose
- not to wear shoes! - Huh? Oh, yeah!
- Yeah, it's true. - [Cricket] Others lead
- shirtless lives! - Yeah! We do!
[Cricket] But we all deserve a free Splishee!
[grunts] And I think free Splishees should be for all!
[cheering]
Pfft, they won't last much longer. It's almost noon
and it's getting pretty hot out there.
How much longer are we gonna search?!
- Any moment now. - There! There's a space!
[revs engine]
- Ah! - [tires screech]
[loudly] Ma'am, I think you're confused.
You're standin' in a parking spot.
I'm saving this spot for later.
- She's lived long enough. - Ma!
Okay, okay. Let me talk to her.
Hi, sweetie, havin' a senior moment, huh? Been there!
- [attack screams] - What in the--?!
- Run, Ma! - [screaming, banging]
Drive, drive, drive!
Yah!
Son, the only thing I admire more than a cheapskate
is a man who knows when to throw in the towel!
Pay for the dang spot!
But Ma, it's $20 now!
Exactly! Do it quickly, before they start chargin' $100!
[groans]
[buzzards squawking]
Ohh, Splishee...
[weakly] Free Splishees should be free for all. Beh.
Stay strong, brother.
Mm. Pretty hot out here, huh? Bet an ice-cold free Splishee
sure would hit the spot, right now.
If we buy shoes from your store, can we come inside?
As it happens, we have a number of
Sip N' Snak compliant footwear options available.
- You got a shirt? - Do I?!
Unh. It's a romper! Let's go get some Splishees!
[cheers]
- No! C'mon, guys! - [protestors chatter]
Resist! What about banding together?
Sorry, kid, it's over. There should be
just enough Splishee left for you to get one, too.
But you know what you need to do, first.
- [slurping] - [Cricket groans] Tilly...
- lend me your shoes. - What?!
I give up. It's too hot! I stuck to my principles
and all I got was charred and crispy.
Cricket, are you really sure you--
Please, Tilly. I need it.
I need that Splishee!
- [slurping, gasps] - [door slides open]
Nyeh.
- [register beeps] - Well, well.
[whimpering]
Good to see you've come to your senses.
As promised, it's all yours. I'm proud of you, man!
You did the right thing. So, why don't you reap your reward?
- [whimpering] - [step clangs]
- Oh, my gosh, he's doing it! - [slurps] Oh, man.
[struggles]
The only thing sweeter than a Splishee
is the sweet, sweet taste of victory.
[strains] Huh?
♪ What do I do? ♪
♪ My mouth has never Felt so dry ♪
♪ Yet, why can't I look myself In the eye? ♪
♪ Give up my Barefoot country soul ♪
♪ Or abandon my Sweet icy goal ♪
♪ What do I do? ♪
♪ I should be by My brother's side ♪
♪ And yet, I cannot Be there with him ♪
♪ Ooh, what will The boy decide? ♪
♪ When will the boy Give up his pride? ♪
[protestors] ♪ Can't you see He is so thirsty ♪
♪ Just fill it up Or go outside ♪
♪ I've been driving 'round All day ♪
♪ I just wanna Leave this truck ♪
♪ Should I suck it up And pay? ♪
- Fifty dollars?! But-- - Bill!
♪ Ugh. I must pay ♪
♪ I must say ♪
♪ I must pay ♪
-♪ I must say ♪ - ♪ I must pay ♪
♪ I must say no!♪
♪ He said no! ♪
- Heh, heh! - What have you done?!
That was the last of the Splishees!
Now you'll never get one!
Well, I've got something even better than a Splishee...
my principles. Being barefoot is who I am.
And I'm not giving that up for some drink.
I may not agree with your principles,
but gosh darn it, kid, I can't say I don't respect you.
Of course, since you made this huge mess,
you know you're banned forever, right?
Makes sense.
- [sighs heavily] - [tires squeal]
Proud of you, Bill. I know that was hard.
Yep. But at least we have a nice, easy-to-get-to space,
- so the kids won't have to-- - Hi, Papa!
- We're ready to go! - What?!
I just paid for this spot!
Did you at least get your free drink?
No, Dad. No, I didn't.
[sucks in breath] Bill, you okay?
- [honks horn] - Hey, are you leaving?