[theme music playing]
SINGER: ♪ One, two♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la♪
Good evening, everyone!
And welcome to Gloria Plus Green Cafe's
first-ever trivia night!
[cheering]
Wow, it appears we'll be facing the entire
neighborhood in this intellectual blood-sport.
No sweat. Our competition's a bunch
of empty-headed know-nothin's.
If only your brain were as wrinkly as your face.
You wanna catch these hands, you smooth-brained ingrate?
Can we not, Ma?
Trash-talking aside, I agree with Alice.
The Green family makes a killer trivia team.
Bill knows science from working on the farm.
Tilly's a well-read expert in literature.
And Gramma's a history buff after living so long.
[makes sound]
And I used to be a roadie,
so I've got music covered.
Plus you got me.
Oh, Cricket.
Yes, we sure do, kiddo.
We sure do.
All right. Let's see what category I can take.
Hmm. Oh, perfect. "Geo-graffie!"
Guess that's me.
Geography is a bit of a tough one, brother.
You sure you got it?
Don't worry. I'm a whiz at math.
Okay. First question,
who wrote the classic novel Little Women?
- [buzz] - Louisa May Alcott.
And the first question of the night goes to the Greens.
- [cheering] - Very good.
Moving right along. During what month
- does the winter solstice occur? - [buzzer buzzing]
December. It's the month with the least daylight.
Correct. Looks like the Greens are on a roll.
Wow. Great job, Mr. Green.
Looks like they're the team to beat, huh, Mr. Grigorian?
All right. Next category is geography.
Here we go.
What is the capital of Mexico?
- [buzz] - The answer is "M."
Come again?
The capital is the first letter,
therefore the capital of Mexico is M.
- [sighs] - No, no, no.
It's Mexico City.
And right you are, Remy.
Cricket, wow, just wow.
- Dang, I was real close. - Hey, son.
What if you let us handle the geography questions?
But that's my category. If I can't do that,
how will I help the team?
Well, you could press the buzzer.
- Oh, yeah! - That's a great idea.
Nobody's faster than you, Cricket!
[excited gasp] Wait a minute.
Y'all think I'm dumb or something?
- No, not at all! - Absolutely not.
The nerve! Look, I admit,
I'm not the sharpest spoon in the bucket,
but I've got some real smarts in my noggin!
Hey, it's all right, kiddo!
I'm sure a question you know will pop up!
But for now, just focus on the buzzer, okay?
I know I know stuff.
I just gotta look deep inside my mind and find it!
Huh?
Ahh! I'm inside my head!
And this must be my dadgum brain!
Wheeee!
Cricket, what are you doing with that--
- Cricket! - [laughing]
It looks like it's getting pretty full.
Should we send the signal?
Nah, just schedule it for later.
[upbeat music playing]
I'll never get sick of this song.
This place is amazing!
But how am I gonna find-- ah, excuse me.
Can I get some help?
Buzz off. Can't you see I'm--
it's the boss!
- I never thought I'd see you. - Wow!
- He's here! - He visits us!
Hi. What the heck are you guys?
We're your Brain-Crickets! "Brickets" for short.
You think it, we make it happen!
How can I be of service?
Well, I need to go see all my knowledge.
Sure thing.
Follow me right this way.
Welcome to your knowledge bank!
That's a lotta knowledge!
And you're adding to it every day! Oh.
Here's some new knowledge now!
Blegh! What are those?
Factoids!
Each one is a little fact you've learned.
"M" is not the capital of Mexico!
Hey, that's right. Because I learned...
Remy knows the capital of Mexico!
Oh, man. I've gotta have better stuff than that, right?
See, there's this trivia night thing going on
and I've got to impress my family
with some big brained knowledge.
Hmm. We're gonna need some help.
But I know just who to call.
Boss, meet the very first fact you ever learned.
Dogs can't spit.
Oh, yeah. I remember learning that.
Spitty's been here longer than any of us.
You won't find a more qualified brain guide.
Dogs can't spit.
You're saying my real smarts are in "the vaults"?
Wait. How can I understand you?
Dogs can't spit!
Oh! That makes perfect sense!
Now, let's hit those vaults!
I've got to prove to my family that I'm not dumb.
Speaking of which, boss,
I believe you're needed back outside!
- [moan] - GRAMMA: Cricket!
Cricket, I know this one! Hit the buzzer!
- Cricket! - Huh?
The answer is 1903!
Take that, you dirty witch!
[laughing]
What in the sam heck are you doing over there, boy?
Don't be hard on Cricket. He probably got confused!
Here, son, this is the button part.
You gotta do this motion on the top to--
I know how a dang buzzer works, Dad!
I gotta find those smarts quick.
Guys! Come on. We don't got time to waste.
Right. Spitty!
Dogs can't spit.
Whoa, so these are the vaults?
Dogs can't spit.
Okay, so each vault contains specific knowledge,
but you're not sure which one the real smarts are in?
Man, you guys should label this stuff!
Dogs can't spit.
Don't sass me.
[upbeat music playing]
Waffles are just pancakes with squares!
No matter how much you drink,
coffee foam doesn't fill you up!
Looks like this vault is just facts about food.
[gasp] Is that Phoenix?
[heavy panting] Bark!
[gasp] Ahh, get back, you monster!
[whimpers] Relish!
Relish!
The word "relish"
always calms Phoenix down.
Aww, this vault is just Phoenix facts.
Swing and a miss!
[laughing]
What am I gonna do with all these Croblins?
- [farts] - Koo-koo-kachoo!
Funny, but not what we're looking for.
Come on, Spitty.
Nostradamus!
Correct!
Latitude!
That's right!
The War of 1812!
Another for the Remingtons!
We're starting to lose our lead!
Well, we're trying to give Cricket a chance,
but is he even with us?
Cricket! Cricket!
Ugh, we've checked almost all of the vaults
and ain't found diddly-squat!
This has to be the one!
Please, please, please, please.
What the--
Bats hurt!
Lemon juice burns the eyes!
Wood hurts!
Marble hurts even more!
Corkboard ain't that bad!
Pain facts!
This room is dangerous.
Dogs can't spit!
The real smarts.
Spitty, ya found 'em.
Hey. You know what hurts?
[indistinct chatter]
[chomp]
Dogs! Can't! Spit!
Bats hurt. Bats hurt.
Spitty!
Dogs!
Can't!
Spit!
Spitty, no!
Whew. Spitty, your sacrifice
will not be in vain.
All righty. We're at the last question of the night
and it's the bonus mystery question!
That's worth five times the amount of points!
- Mystery question? - All right, Greens.
All hands on deck! This could be for anyone!
Stay sharp, Cricket, we might need you!
Not to worry, family,
I've finally found my real smarts.
You had to find them?
I had to dig deep,
but finally I can unleash
all of my incredible knowledge.
Antarctica is cold.
Fourteen minus six is eight.
That's it?
That's all I have?
Ugh, never mind.
Where are you going, son?
Home. I'm no good to ya.
All I got in my head is useless junk.
- Cricket. - Don't beat yourself up, boy.
I mean it ain't like you're Grigorian-level stupid.
That's it! Take this, you putrid bowl of oatmeal!
- Whoa. - Whoa.
Whoa.
Sorry about that.
[screaming]
I knew I should've got coffee foam insurance!
I can't open the door!
I never thought I'd suffer
such a foamy demise.
What do we do?
Well, it's just coffee foam.
We could probably eat it because...
Coffee foam doesn't fill you up!
Everyone eat it! Eat the foam!
Come on, you guys! I can't help y'all if you don't chill out!
Brett, try saying the word "Relish."
It helps soothe my dog Phoenix!
Uh, okay. Relish, relish.
That worked? Thanks, Cricket!
That was really smart.
I can't get close enough to unplug the foamer!
How do we shut it off?
Ahh! Huh?
Corkboard! Mr. Remington,
I need you to throw me into that corkboard!
I'm not about to throw a child.
- You'll get hurt! - It's all right.
Corkboard don't hurt that bad.
Now quarterback me!
Oh, say less! Hike!
That only kind of hurt!
Now that really hurt.
We're free!
Hey.
[cheering]
Did we win? What's happening?
You saved us, Cricket.
Well, it's the least a dummy could do.
- NANCY: Dummy? - Cricket, you're not a dummy!
Thanks, Dad, but I couldn't even answer one trivia question.
Son, there's all different types of knowledge.
Some conventional. Some more unique.
Without your special know-how, we would've drowned in foam!
Well, koo-koo-kachoo.
I guess I'm smarter than I thought!
Though I wish I could've gotten at least one question right.
Oh, yeah, what was the mystery question?
Oh, it was, "Name one animal that can't spit."
Ah-ha-ha!
Dogs! Dogs can't spit!
Hey, yeah, that's correct!
- Woo-hoo! - [cheering]
Dogs can't spit.