[whistling]
One, two, one, two, three, four!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
[whistling]
[chicken clucks]
Okay, Cricket. Off the board, off the rim,
bounce through the rafters, and through the--
[smack]
Community Sue, I'm so sorry, I--
Didn't feel a thing! Okay, youngsters,
hit the bleachers!
Thank you all for volunteering
for our "Big Buddy, Lil' Buddy" program
I'm going to pair each of you with a lil' buddy.
Your job is to make a positive impact on their mushy, undeveloped brains!
Who has questions? Yes, Cricket!
This is for the pizza thing, right?
We get free pizza if we're big buddies or whatever?
At the end of the day all participants may attend a pizza party.
-Are there any more-- -Is it from Mama Roni's?
I love Mama Roni's.
[sighs] Yes, Cricket.
But the real reward here isn't pizza!
It's the chance to make a lasting--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the kids are the future and all that. Kumbaya.
Aren't you excited to be a role model, brother?
Yeah, I'm excited to roll
-some pizza into my-- -Mkay.
-All right, meet your lil' buddies! -[cheering]
-Whatchoo got, tater tot? -[indecipherable], potato.
Wanna see me stick my whole hand in my mouth?
[shouting] What, like it's hard?
Check out all the games on my phone!
Green! I'm pairing you with Emma here.
Show her some of that Tilly charm.
How do you do? I offer a welcoming gift.
Sour straws?
For like life, they can be bitter,
but sweetness is always soon to follow.
[awed] That's true!
[smacking lips]
And finally,
meet your new lil' buddy, Chase!
[growling]
-Yay! -What?
-[growling] -Ah!
Uh, hey, Chase. I'm your big buddy, Cricket.
Ah! Get off of me!
Sue, I think my buddy's defective.
You gotta give me another kid!
-Nope! Chase is yours till three pm. -But--
Okay, everybody! We've got crafts time
the boomba room. Move it!
[manic laughter]
[squeaking]
[panting]
Do it for Mama Roni.
-Chase! Who wants to go draw a dinosaur? Ah! -[manic laughter]
[laughter and chatter]
[Emma sighs]
What's wrong, Emma?
I wanna put googly eyes on my painting,
but we ran out of glue.
Ah, not to worry, little lady,
for the paint provides. Observe.
[Emma] Whoa! They stuck to the wet paint.
Cool! Tilly, you are amazing!
Haha, Emma, you are correct.
Looks like you two are getting along well!
Cricket! How you doin-- Oh!
Chase, you stop makin' paper spitballs right now!
-[spits, grunts] -[Remy] Ah! My glasses!
Dangit all, I'm your big buddy, and that means you gotta do what I say!
So, you and I are gonna go back to that table, sit quietly
and think about the pizza and possibly chicken wings that await us if we get along.
Whaddya say to that?
[coughing]
He glitterbombed me!
Come here you-- gah!
Oh, you wanna tussle?
-Let's tussle! -[grunting]
[both slurp and sigh]
-[Cricket] Tilly... -Hi, Cricket.
How's it going with your lil' buddy?
He refused to sit in time-out, so I had to fasten him
to a cabinet with a bunch of pipe cleaners.
I'm completely outmatched.
How'd you train your kid to be so good?
-Oh, she asked to do this. -[Emma giggles]
Cricket, the only advice I can give
is something you know better than anyone.
Sometimes, the only way to soothe a wild beast
is by taming its heart.
Whoa. I've gotta write that one down.
Taming his heart! What's that even mean?
-Ah, Tilly! You and your riddle-- -[Chase] Ah!
-[fighting sounds] -Good luck on your journey, brother.
-Oh, hello. -I told them you're the smartest kid in the world,
and they wanted to meet you!
Tell them what you told me about worms!
That they are the sharks of the dirt ocean beneath our feet?
[children gasp]
-[excited chatter] -Interesting development.
[blows whistle] It's time to-- [squeaking] Hit the pool!
[splashing and laughter]
Looks like things are going swimmingly, Til!
-[Sue laughs] -Ha! Ha! Ha ha!
Would you stop that?
No way! You're boring!
I'm not boring! I just got stuck
with the world's most hyperactive hairball--
Ah!
Oh snap. Come on, move, move, move--
Oh, he's fine.
Ah, that hurt!
Well, yeah! That's what happens
when you don't [grunts] tuck and roll!
Wha--? Show me that again!
-You like that? -Totally!
I got awesome moves, the landings just really hurt.
If you could show me more stuff like that
I could do even cooler moves! [giggles]
So, stunts. You want me to teach ya how to do stunts.
Mhm, mhm.
Well, I guess I am
the stunt master general.
-But if I do this, will you stop torturing me? -Uh huh, uh huh!
Fine, I'll teach ya everything I know.
I'll make you better and stronger than I ever was,
and you have to carry on my legacy,
but I ain't happy about it!
Just follow me, you lil' creep.
Great form, Gregory!
I told you, it's Gregly!
[splashing]
[whistle blows]
All right, peepers on me! Stunt school's in session.
Lesson one, pinballing.
-Wow! -All right, your turn.
[grunts] Oof!
Ah.
[whistle blows]
[grunting]
Lesson two, stuff dodging!
[grunting and panting]
Nice dodging, lil' buddy!
[grunting] Okay, Chase! We gotta go now!
[whistle blows]
Final lesson, flinging!
Yeah! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Now let go!
-Are you sure? -Don't worry!
-I gotcha! -[Chase] Hup!
-[eagle cry] -Ha.
[both grunt and laugh]
Those are some pretty sick moves you little devil!
I think you're ready for the big leagues.
-Let's go! -[both grunt]
[heavy breathing]
-Uh, y'know-- -Silence! The great Tilly speaketh!
Uh, I was just going to say the water isn't that cold.
What does she mean?
So wise! So powerful!
Emma, may I have a word?
Okay! We will reconvene
for further enlightenment in five minutes.
What's on your mind, Tilly?
Emma, shouldn't your friends be gettin' back
to their own big buddies?
But you're the bestest big buddy there is!
That's why us Till-ites have come to learn from you.
That is so sweet-- Wait.
Who are the Till-ites?
Us! Your loyal followers.
We wanna be just like you.
And how!
Emma, I'm flattered,
but I'm also a little uncomfortable
with all this unwarranted attention.
I hope you understand.
-[gasps] -It's for you!
Now we all look just like you.
Uh...
You've done well so far, my protégé.
But this stunt is the stunt to end all stunts.
So crazy and stupid, it's gotten me
officially labeled a "young disruptor"
and they didn't mean that in a good way!
Behold, the human boulder!
[manic laughter]
I've rendered a detailed simulation of how it works.
You and I are gonna jump on the yoga ball,
activating the fire extinguisher jet,
sending us flying around the basketball court,
thus creating utter chaos.
I've also sketched a bunch of ninjas.
They're not part of the plan, I just like drawing them.
This is nice.
I've never had a big buddy like you before.
You're crazy. I'm glad we got paired up.
I'm glad too, you little demon.
-You ready for this? -Bingo bango.
Count down to chaos
in three,
two,
one!
[Sue] There you kids are!
It's three pm. Program's over.
Come get some pizza.
-Wahoo! And that's a wrap. -What about out stunt?
Nah, forget all that, it's pizza time!
[laughing and cheering]
Oh, yeah!
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm!
Ha, Cricket Green, you really helped someone out today.
And that someone was yourself.
Hey! Watch where you're--
-Chase? -I thought you were my big buddy!
But you're just a big duddy!
-[gasps] -[cries]
What was that all about?
Oh, don't beat yourself up.
You got further with Chase than most.
What do you mean?
All his previous big buddies
gave up within an hour.
He's not a bad kid,
he just needs someone who understands.
I thought maybe you could give him a friend.
But I guess not.
♪ Remember the stuff we did ♪
♪ Remember the times we had ♪
♪ Don't forget about this ♪
♪ Or this, or this ♪
♪ Remember the stuff we did ♪
The majority of those didn't even happen.
And now they never will, if don't make things right.
Sorry, Mama Roni, I gotta find my lil' buddy!
I'm so happy I could punch a wall!
Ah!
[panting] Chase! Wait up, lil' bud!
-Go away! -Dang it, Chase!
[grunting]
Pinballing?
Which sport should we play?
-How 'bout we play all of them? -Yay!
Stuffdodging?
I'd be steamed if I wasn't so dang proud!
Whoa! [grunts]
Not bad!
But how about this!
Ow!
[panting]
Ch-Chase! Wait! Ah.
[kids] Tilly! Tilly!
Enlighten us with your wisdom!
[Tilly] Hm, their level of adoration has gotten quite unhealthy.
Time to bounce.
Loyal followers!
I will now grant you my greatest wisdom!
For this you must close your eyes and meditate.
-[kids] Ooh. -[whispering] What's a meditate?
[gasps] She's ascended!
-Magic! -[cheering]
-Hey. -Go back to your party.
I can't. Gotta pull off the sickest stunt
in community center history.
You didn't wanna be my friend,
you just wanted that free pizza.
I'll admit, I didn't get into this stuff to be a role model,
I got into it for some easy cheese.
But ding-darn it, I found something even better.
A crazy, buck-wild gremlin,
and the best lil' buddy I could ever ask for.
So whaddya say, wanna be my partner in crime?
Ah! [laughs]
It's a deal.
-[Chase and Cricket] Wahoo! -Jeffrey!
-[Chase and Cricket cheering] -[people screaming]
What is happening?
[man] Oh no!
[Cricket] Three, two, one, go!
[noisy chewing]
[yawns] Breakfast time already?
-[loud thump] -[snoring]
Huh? Is there coffee?
Good morning, Papa.
Are you doing okay?
-You look beat. -Yeah, Dad,
maybe you should re-hit the hay.
The only hay I'm hittin' is in the--
[snoring]
-Ah! With a pitch fork! -I don't know, Papa,
you look like you could use a break.
You've been working non-stop for who knows how long.
That's right, sweetie.
It's a farmer's job to work his fields every [yawns] day.
[Nancy] And it's a family's job
to support one another when they need help/
-Nancy? -What's with the getup?
I heard Bill was working himself silly,
so I'm taking over his farming duties for the day!
Ow.
But you can't farm!
You do motorcycles and stuff!
Corn, mufflers, it's all the same!
Now, this is for you.
It's a gift certificate for a free massage
and a whole day of pampering at the spa!
You look like you need it.
Look, I'd love to relax,
but today is Plow and Plant Day!
A complex series of tasks that require a delicate balance
of skill and finesse. How're you--
Pfft. Relax! I gotchu, gir'!
Really, you work so hard to take care of everyone,
but we're supposed to be co-parents, Bill.
It's time I show up for the family, too.
Just write me a list of everything I gotta do,
and I'll get it done.
Now hold on just a minute!
Bill can't skip Plow and Plant Day just to--!
I got you a message too.
-Well, one day won't hurt! -[honking]
Giddyup, Bill! My dogs are barkin'!
[muttering]
All right, Nance, here's the instructions.
I'll try to relax, but you gotta promise
to follow these steps to a tee.
No sweat, big guy.
I can do things the Bill Green way.
-All right. -Now, go have fun! You deserve it.
[whimpering]
Go on, you got it.
-That's it, almost there. -[whimpering]
Get in the truck.
-Atta boy! -I changed my mind!
-Bill, get in the truck! -Oh!
Woo! Spa day, here we come!
[engine rumbles]
You sure you know
what you signed up for here, Mom?
Much like a Swiss watch, Papa is very precise
and very tightly wound.
Thanks for the concern, kids,
but I'll be done with this list in no time.
Uh.
We'll help you out.
Ah, are you ready to relax, boy?
I don't know, Ma.
All this idleness makes me anxious.
Don't these people have jobs?
They're here to relax, same as us!
It's understandable that after working for a while--
What the--?
-Bill! -It needed a trim!
Will you stop farming for two seconds?
You better march over here, get in your birthday suit,
and get rubbed with the rest of us!
Birthday suit?
Don't worry, sir, you can cover yourself
with this complimentary towel.
Oh dear.
♪ I'm your farmer papa ♪
♪ I love to plant my cropp-a ♪
♪ Happy soil, happy seeds ♪
♪ Make a harvest that succeeds ♪
There we go, finally done
with step one!
Sing the Bill Green planting song
25 times while tilling the soil.
I can't believe your dad included sheet music.
Let's hope the next step is a little simpler.
"Prepare the cow to do the plow.
But remember, a well groomed animal is well behaved.
Brush the cow for 300 strokes, and brush the goat for 301."
What! That'll take forever.
Oh, please. Please, please, please let me help!
-[bleats] -Hmm.
Actually, why don't you two
go inside and make a snack?
I'm pretty sure I can finish this one myself.
Sounds good to me!
I've actually been workin'
on a new snack recipe
that involves walnut and onions.
[Cricket] Gross. I'll have two.
You two look brushed enough to me,
so between us, I'm skipping this step.
You gals don't really care, do ya?
[angry bleat]
[masseuse] Relax. Relax. Please, relax, Mr. Green.
Haha, sorry, just left my ex-wife in charge of my livelihood.
I'm sure she's doing great.
Just close your eyes and try to think of your happy place.
-Rest. -All right, I'll try.
Just relax, Bill.
Think of plows, the farm, crops.
The crops, they're burning!
- They're screaming! -[screaming]
Why have you forsaken us? Why?
Ah! I've abandoned my crops!
Will you pipe down? Your tension's makes me tense!
Sorry. Whenever I get tense my mind starts to snowball.
Don't worry! You'll be able to relax
once I once I loosen up your muscles
[cracks knuckles]
All it takes is some pressure.
-[cracks] -Ah! It's like massaging a brick wall.
"Separate seed bags one foot apart."
Meh, close enough.
"Heat garden gloves to 80 degrees in the sun."
Feels like 80 degrees to me!
"Hook up the cow to the plow."
Oh, kids! It's plow time!
This whole farming thing's actually pretty easy.
What the heck was Bill stressing about?
Huh.
Where's Miss Brenda?
[moos]
What the-- Come on, Miss Brenda.
-[moos] -It's time to plow.
-[annoyed moo] -Come on, you know the drill.
-[grunting] -Why aren't you moving?
-What's goin' on, Mama? -It's Miss Brenda.
She won't move! What's wrong with her.
Oh, it's probably nothing. Unless...
Unless what?
Unless step two wasn't done.
But that wouldn't make sense,
cause Mama said she'd closely follow all of Papa's steps.
And if it's truly plow time,
then step two must've been completed!
I just don't get it, Tilly!
What's so important about step two?
If Miss Brenda isn't brushed for 300 strokes,
she won't be confident enough for the big job
and gets performance anxiety.
-[Cricket] She's plow shy . -[sad moo]
And likely to stay behind that tree all day.
And if you don't brush Melissa more than Miss Brenda,
Melissa gets jealous and eats everything in sight.
[agressive chewing]
[bleats]
Bad goat! Gotcha!
[roars]
Huh? Ow!
Didn't you heat up the gloves?
You can't touch Melissa with lukewarm gloves!
Bill's list is even more important than I though.
-[bleats] -[gasps] Melissa!
-No! -[angry bleating]
-[grunting] -Ah!
[burps]
[Bill] I knew you could do it, partner.
You followed step fourteen and memorized the whole list
in case this happens, right?
[masseuse] All right, Mr. Green,
hold still.
What? It couldn't even break the skin.
I was sure acupuncture would be the one.
It's time to bring out the big guns.
Now, I'm going to play some nature sounds.
Listen to the waves of the water.
The ocean? I can't relax to that!
-What if there's a rip tide? -[groans]
Who's watching the kids? Where are the lifeguards?
Hm? Is that fire?
It's just a candle, Bill! Stop overthinking everything!
In fact, just stop thinking!
How can I not think
when there's an open flame
in a confined space?
Uh, let's try some guided meditation.
Look deep into this calming sunset.
Oh no, you don't! You ain't gonna meditate me!
-Sir, please! -Get me out of here!
-[man] It's okay. -I got 'em!
[struggling] Oh.
Here's your chance. Meditate him!
Okay. Take a deep breath. Let go of all your burdens.
Let go of all my burgers...
[peaceful music]
Huh? What the--?
Where am I?
-[man] Bill. -Dad?
No, Bill. It's me, the Kludge.
Oh my corn, I'm dead!
Not dead, just stressed.
Oh, right. But don't worry,
I've been stressed since birth and it's never weighed me down.
-[engine sputters] -What's happenin'? Why're we slowing down?
We're carrying too big of a load,
we've got to let go.
-But I can't! -We have to, Bill.
We'll never make it with all this weight.
Trust the truck.
-Just let go. -Just let go?
Just let go. Just let go.
[indecipherable]
Mighta conked him on the head a little too hard.
Just let go!
[laughing] Yes!
I've done it. I've found inner peace.
Inner peace...
Hallelujah! He's cured!
Now, can someone massage my real leg?
Aah.
Ahh! This is a mess.
-The list is gone-- -[coughs]
-The cow won't budge. -[grunts]
The field isn't plowed or planted,
and Bill will be home soon!
We need a plan.
-Ooh, I got one! -Really?
It's fairly simple,
but we're gonna need a time machine.
[gasps]
All right, looks like
we're gonna have to improvise.
Hm.
[tires screech]
♪ Plant the seeds like crazy ♪
♪ There's no time to be lazy ♪
♪ One by one,'til it's done ♪
♪ Nurture, like a baby! ♪
♪ He's our farmer papa ♪
♪ Gotta plant his cropp-a ♪
♪ Happy soil, happy seeds ♪
♪ If this don't work then I'm dead meat! ♪
Okay, that should do it! Let's see.
It looks... Good?
Aw, I beefed it.
You know, they kinda look alike.
If you close your eyes and imagine that they look alike.
No amount of imagination will fix this.
I just wanted to help out your dad, but I did the opposite!
I wasn't able to show up for my family.
-[door creaks] -[all gasp]
We're back!
And we finally got Bill to relax--
Whoa, what happened to y'all?
Bill! Listen, I tried, I really did.
But there were so many details.
First the singing, then the cow, then the--
[Bill] Shh.
Huh?
Hm, this is all...
[grunts] Ha ha...
Fantastic.
[all] Really?
It's different from the way I do it.
But I love the new expanded design,
think of how much more we'll grow.
And with the bike,
you must've done it in record time.
Uh, I guess so.
You really showed up for your family, Nance.
I knew you could do it.
I can't believe you like it.
That spa really did you some good.
I oughta take a trip after everything that happened today.
I thought you might say something like that.
[cheering]
Uh, those spa gift certificates
weren't too expensive, were they, Dad?
Dad? Dad?
-Da-- -[screams]
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit by a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by dogs, Licked by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs, Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪
[whistling]
One, two, one, two, three, four!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
[whistling]
[chicken clucks]