1 00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:03,916 [theme song plays] 2 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,146 ♪ One, two One, two, three, four ♪ 3 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,453 [vocalizing] 4 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,378 [chicken clucks] 5 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:35,426 See, the trick is to buy Halloween costumes in the off-season. 6 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,646 That's three Halloweens all for the price of one. 7 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,649 Wow, Dad, you're so good at saving money, it's scary. 8 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,259 [chuckles] Boo! 9 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,672 I'm going to use these propsand costumes for my newest play: 10 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,307 The Specter of Affection. 11 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,830 Sounds great. I love the theater. 12 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,875 Who doesn't? 13 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,181 The bright marquees. 14 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,878 The happy theatergoers. 15 00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:55,490 The scalpers selling definitely real tickets. 16 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:59,015 All these people have been movedto joy by they power of theater. 17 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,323 - Yeah. Except those people. - Hm? 18 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,846 [man] Stupid standby line. 19 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,935 I'm so bored of waiting for the theater. 20 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:09,199 If only someone could bring the theater to us. 21 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:11,332 Remy, start memorizing your lines. 22 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,724 We are putting on a show. 23 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,204 Ooh. 24 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,790 You know, it's not often we get errands done 25 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,729 without going on a wacky adventure. 26 00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,296 -It's kind of nice to-- -Stop. Look. 27 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,732 It's all my favorite superheroes. 28 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,995 Dr. Robot. The Incredulous Bulk. 29 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,736 America Rat. 30 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,521 They're all here for realsies. 31 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:27,933 We got to go meet them. Come on, Dad. 32 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,741 Oh, right behind you, son. 33 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,700 If I wanted to see a hero wearing pantyhose, 34 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,702 I could just look in a mirror. 35 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:34,833 [laughs] 36 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,661 You're funny. Funny and mean. 37 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:39,316 - You're my new co-host. - Co-host for what? 38 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,971 My show. I go around and talk about stuff I hate. 39 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,668 - Sounds awful. - You're perfect. 40 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:44,800 - Let's go. - Ah! 41 00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:49,544 Remy, do you swearthe performer's oath 42 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,980 that we shall dowhatever it takes 43 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,374 to bring a smile to everyone's face? 44 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,723 Oh, I'm not allowed to swear. 45 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,812 - Just say yes. - Yes. 46 00:01:56,855 --> 00:02:00,685 It was the summer of my debutante debut, 47 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,687 and I, Honeybelle Sweet Tea, 48 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,254 was to be wed. 49 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:08,171 But my father did not approve, 50 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:11,740 as my beloved Buford was a ghost. 51 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,698 Ooh! 52 00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:17,049 Oh, foul fortune. How could you--? 53 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,008 - Boo! - Hey, that's my line. 54 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:21,358 Um, excuse me, why are you booing? 55 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,055 Ghosts are boring. I don't like it. 56 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,666 If this kid doesn't like the play, 57 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,842 we'll miss the opportunity to bring him joy. 58 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,670 What do we do, Tilly? 59 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,629 Instead of a ghost, what would you like to see, sir? 60 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:32,674 Airplane. 61 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,806 So it would make you happy 62 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,200 if the love interest was an airplane? 63 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,202 - Yes. - Well, you heard the man, Remy. 64 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,030 The show must go on. 65 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,466 [lips sputter] 66 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:43,815 [chuckles] 67 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,384 And we got it. Thanks for the photo. 68 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,778 Yup. If you're ever looking for a sidekick, 69 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,040 you know how to contact me. 70 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,694 Oh, uh... 71 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,696 Well, we'll keep you in mind. 72 00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,021 - [voices giggling] - Huh? Oh, no. 73 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,003 - What's wrong? - It's them. 74 00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,788 [laughter] 75 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,530 - Who are those guys? - Our mortal enemies! 76 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:05,141 [feet crashing] 77 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,884 [laughter] 78 00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,451 Croblins! 79 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,235 - Run! - [all scream] 80 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,150 - Aw. - What? 81 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,891 [Tuck] Welcome back to I Hate It. 82 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,414 I'm here with Alice, 83 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,024 and she's going to tell us how it is. 84 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,983 - Fire hydrants? - City pimples. 85 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,898 - Pigeons? - Trash parrots. 86 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,682 Evan the camera guy. 87 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,728 Sweaty and desperate. 88 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:27,946 Hey! 89 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,252 - Correct. - Yes! 90 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:30,558 Three for three. 91 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:31,907 Now come on, let's keep moving. 92 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,301 There's a whole city of stuff to hate. 93 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,564 - Oh, yeah! Evan, move it! - [sighs] 94 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:39,175 Knew I shouldn't have worn this turtleneck. 95 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,959 Oh, providence divine. 96 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,657 They said that love between a woman 97 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,703 and a mid-size commercial airliner cannot be. 98 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,183 And so we must... 99 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,055 fly away together. 100 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,927 - [lips sputtering] - Huh? 101 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,321 [yawns] 102 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,974 The changes to the playaren't working. 103 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,759 The audience is still bored. 104 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,151 What are we going to do? 105 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,762 We are going to stick to our oath 106 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,765 and make sure our playbrings everyone joy. 107 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,854 - Whoa! - And now for a brief intermission. 108 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,725 Ah! 109 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,988 Ugh, even looking at my watch is getting boring. 110 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,121 Excuse me, we're conducting a brief survey 111 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,341 about your theater experienceso far. 112 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:17,518 Anything different you'd like to see in act two? 113 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,520 Well, some singing might be nice. 114 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,130 Okay. What else? 115 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,263 - What about a sword fight? - More wigs. 116 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:26,178 The actors come into the audience, and tickle them. 117 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,244 - [boy 1] Rollerblades! - [boy 2] Political intrigue! 118 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,660 [overlapped shouting] 119 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,749 Oh, what a wonderful photo. 120 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:34,622 You have filled my sweet round son with joy. 121 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,102 Please take all mein deutsche marks. 122 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,148 [cackling] 123 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,845 Well, we had a good run. 124 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,283 What the heck's going on? Those Croblins stole your spot. 125 00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,043 Are you going to let them get away with that? 126 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,634 Yes, absolutely. 127 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,046 They may look cute, but those Croblins 128 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,028 are the true villains of Times Circle. 129 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,030 They hog the bestsidewalk. 130 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,859 And keep all the tourists' tips to themselves. 131 00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,253 Are you kidding? They look totally harmless. 132 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,473 Hey, you know what? I'll go talk to them for you. 133 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,213 What? No.It's too dangerous. 134 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,998 Yeah! Go get 'em, Dad. 135 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,608 Okay, so good so far. 136 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,175 He's pointing back at us, and-- 137 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,916 Oh, they took his hat. 138 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,048 Oh, man, yeah, they're playing keep-away with him. 139 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,790 Oh, Dad, no, that's what they want you to do. 140 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,010 And, yup, they tabletopped him. 141 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,403 It's just plain rude. 142 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,230 All right, enough messing around. 143 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:21,538 You three are superheroes. You can take those guys easy. 144 00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:24,106 Kid, you know we're not actually superheroes, right? 145 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,586 Oh. Oh, no. 146 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,196 My dude, really? 147 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,546 These are just costumes, dawg. You knew that, right? 148 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,896 You know superheroes aren't real, right? 149 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,681 My guy? For serious? 150 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,552 My man out here thinking movies is real? 151 00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:36,858 Are you crying? 152 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,382 No! Whatever! Who cares? 153 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,254 What's important is that even if you're not real superheroes, 154 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,169 you can still stand up for yourselves. 155 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,433 - Yeah, but we don't want to. - Fine. 156 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:49,871 If you three won't be superheroes, then I will. 157 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,742 Okay, Remy. 158 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:52,917 We've surveyed the audience 159 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,180 and now know exactly what they want. 160 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,357 You made a lot of changesto the script. 161 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,793 Are you sure it all makes sense? 162 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,622 I am sure it will bring them joy. 163 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,320 Now get changed and get out there. 164 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,628 Hey, everybody, I'm Hot Doug. 165 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,457 And I'd like you all to meet my beautiful son, 166 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,197 Douglas, Jr. 167 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,504 I'm daddy's little bratwurst. 168 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,985 Let's get it... Dijon. 169 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,726 Oh! 170 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,423 [Tilly] Not so fast. 171 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,033 [muttering] 172 00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,905 I am a kitty cat. 173 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,124 Prepare to die. 174 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,430 Hm? 175 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,301 No one's smiling? 176 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,694 How is that possible? 177 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:31,782 Excuse me. 178 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,436 [muttering] 179 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,307 I don't get it. 180 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,222 Why aren't you enjoying the play? 181 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:40,269 I don't really understandwhat's happening. 182 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,314 Yeah, it's kind of all over the place. 183 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:45,274 It's a train wreck. And not the good kind. 184 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,928 Sorry for wastingyour time. 185 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,409 [mutters] 186 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,454 - Mm. - Pack it up, Remy. 187 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,847 - Play's over. - What? 188 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,979 - But what about the finale? - Forget it. 189 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:57,155 I gave them everything they said they wanted, 190 00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,115 and I still couldn't make anyone happy. 191 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,900 All I've done is make myself reverse-happy. 192 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,380 You mean sad? 193 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,426 You always have the right words, Remy. 194 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,342 [grunts] 195 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,735 - [laughing] - Hang on, Dad. 196 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,084 A hero has arisen. 197 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,434 [imitates air whooshing] 198 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,784 Don't worry. 199 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:17,891 You're going to a better place. 200 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,830 Hand me the rest, Remy. 201 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:23,355 Whoa! That superhero lookeda lot like Cricket. 202 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:26,054 Oh, great, what are you up to now, kid? 203 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:29,144 I'm here to help you vanquish those villainous Croblins. 204 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,755 We already told you, we're not real heroes. 205 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,496 Yeah, you cried about it, remember? 206 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,411 Lots of stuff happened, okay? 207 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,674 Listen, it doesn't matter if you're real heroes or not. 208 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,371 I believe in you. 209 00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,765 So now all you've got to do is believe in yourself 210 00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,767 and do what you think is right. 211 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,900 Do what I think is right? 212 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,250 I was so focused on what other people thought, 213 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:51,079 I stopped believing in myself. 214 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,168 Remy, we are putting on a show. 215 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,517 The original version. 216 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,911 - No changes this time. - [gasps] 217 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,521 So, what do y'all say? 218 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,915 I say you've got a point. 219 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,656 This is America. 220 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,788 Everyone should have an equal opportunity 221 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:07,182 to swindle money from tourists. 222 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:10,011 -Well, that's not---So let's go get those Croblins! 223 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,492 - [both] Yeah! - There you go. 224 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,799 - Huh? - Showtime. 225 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,932 - [Croblins laughing] - [groaning] 226 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,977 Hey, Croblins. 227 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,413 Your days of ruling the sidewalk 228 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,807 and harassing adult men are over. 229 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,809 Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it? 230 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:28,769 Sidewalk superheroes charge! 231 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,467 Father, how could you be so cruel? 232 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,471 Buford may be dead, but he makes me feel so alive. 233 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,517 [both grunting] 234 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,477 [yelling] 235 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,524 [Tilly] I'd like to see you marry my daughter behind bars. 236 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,308 Ooh! 237 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,875 Father, you fool. 238 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,485 He is intangible. 239 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,182 - Please let me go. - [Croblin cackling] 240 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,836 Bulk snatch! 241 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,272 Ew, why are you wet? 242 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,883 Ew, ew, gross! 243 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,101 I'm free! 244 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,712 Perhaps your fatheris right. 245 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,888 Woman and ghost can't be together. 246 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,193 That's just the thing. 247 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,935 For I was a ghost all along! 248 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,633 Wh-Wh-What? 249 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,548 Honey Belle, why didn't youtell me sooner? 250 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,593 For tension. 251 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,074 And they died happily ever after, the end. 252 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,641 [yawns] 253 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,251 Wow, what a rush. 254 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,861 Remy, you were great. 255 00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:20,734 I was just riding off the energyyou brought to the scene. 256 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,842 Though it doesn't seem likeanyone actually liked it. 257 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,564 It's impossible to please everyone. 258 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,653 But as long as you like what you make, 259 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,089 that's all that matters. 260 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,786 Hey, everyone, the line's moving. 261 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:30,874 [all chatter] 262 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,833 I see a lot of theater, 263 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:36,793 and I must say this play was adelightful avant-garde aperitif. 264 00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,622 I was going to give these roses to the star of today's show, 265 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,885 but I want to give them to you instead. 266 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,670 I no longer crave your validation, 267 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,759 but I do appreciate it. 268 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,891 Oh, okay, I'll just keep these then. 269 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,066 Gimme. 270 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,764 [all grunt and groan] 271 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200 It's over, losers. 272 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,332 You go back to that garbage, where you belong. 273 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,943 It ain't over yet. 274 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,119 I still have one more trick up my sleeve. 275 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,776 [chanting in foreign tongue] 276 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,392 I've heard of war and peace, 277 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,978 but this is war and please make it stop. 278 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,395 Am I right, Alice? 279 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:14,831 You'd better muzzle your grill 280 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,441 if you know what's good for you. 281 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:20,054 I hate plenty of things, but my family ain't one of them. 282 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,490 I'm out! 283 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,970 My only friend, gone. 284 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,582 [grunting] 285 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,584 Guys, now, while they're distracted. 286 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,586 - Huh? - [grunting] 287 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,893 America Rat! 288 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,156 [all moaning] 289 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,679 Oh, my gosh. 290 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:37,830 They're just a couple of teenagers. 291 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,769 And one old man? 292 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,553 And I would've gotten away with it 293 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,381 if it weren't for that meddling kid. 294 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,427 Come on, Dustin. Come on, Chance. 295 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,950 Let's get out of here. 296 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,996 [all grunt] 297 00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,954 [yelling] 298 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,347 We did it, everyone. 299 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,827 The block is ours. 300 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,306 Wow, hey, look at these superheroes. 301 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,023 - Can we get a picture? - Line up, everyone. 302 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,310 Kid Cricket takes cash or card. 303 00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,878 - Don't even think about it. - Respect.